Grace and Gravity

A Long Obedience

2010-09-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

I do hope you will check out my new blog at A Long Obedience! I'm hoping to write about every 4 days (or as the spirit leads!) I have a new post today. Thanks.

Farewell

2010-09-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

From Terry:
Leona and I have decided to take a break from our blog, Grace and Gravity. We may decide to revive it again some day and it will live in cyberspace for years to come, but for now we are not going to be doing any more writing in this space. Leona will continue her writing in the form of newsletters, articles and ministry updates. It has been a lot of fun working together and I will miss this connection! I am launching a new blog "A Long Obedience" and I would be honored if you choose to follow me at that site!

Thanks for reading!
Terry McNichols

From Leona:
Our pastor just finished a sermon series in Ecclesiastes where I was again reminded that everything under heaven has a season. For me, the time for blogging is on pause. I’ve enjoyed sharing this site with Terry and having a place to express some of my observations, feelings and experiences in this journey called aging. Thank you for walking it with us.

I want to thank Terry for her work in developing and maintaining the site. I can’t even imagine the hours she spent scouring Flickr for pictures, being sure the entries were well written and posted in a professional manner, and most time-consuming of all — reminding me to get my copy to her! Thanks, Terry – and good luck on your new blog.

I will continue to use the title “Grace and Gravity” as it is one of my favorite workshop presentations and article headings. The words will forever express the ambiguity and angst of the journey. Truly it is God’s grace that gives us the strength and courage to face the times described as “gravity.”

Blessings,
Leona Bergstrom

Gone Fishing....

2010-08-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

Due to a total lack of inspiration and the need to rest and regroup for yet another month, Leona and Terry are taking the entire month of August off. We might just sneak in a blog post here and there, such as the Birthday Train post, but until September, here is our poem:

Can't think, brain numb
Inspiration won't come
Can't write, bad pen
Best wishes.
Amen

(Photo by 1) Lighthelper, 2)Nadya Peek, shared via Flickr; )

A Grandma's Love

2010-08-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I suppose that ever since Grandmas have lived long enough to actually be with grandchildren they have demonstrated their love in both simple and extraordinary ways.

Grandmas spend precious hours playing, pretending, exploring and engaging their grandkids. We comfort them when they hurt and rock them when they are sick. We love it when they are in our homes and in our laps, and we breathe relieved sighs when they go home with their parents.

And then, once in awhile, we do something extraordinary! Such was the case this weekend when Terry (my sister-in-law, friend and co-blogger) brought out four-year-old Caleb’s birthday cake! Not just one cake, but eighteen little train cars each meticulously decorated in unique candies and pretzels. Willy Wonka would have been proud! The word delighted would understate Caleb’s reaction. It was a work of art!

Today as I thought about that train and all that went into it, I imagined every little Sweet Tart, Smartie, gummy bear and pretzel as a prayer that Terry, like so many other Grandmas, offer daily for the offspring of their own children. Blessings on you, Terry, as you celebrate the “juxtaposition of joy and chaos” – and then the “juxtaposition of peace and silence.”

(A note from Terry: Although it is my day to post and time to end our blog "staycation," I wanted to put this fun post about the train birthday cake up for today. I am still recovering from the "juxtaposition of joy and chaos" and trying to decide how to deal with the peace and silence.)

Chin Hairs - reposted

2010-07-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

(No picture needed. Use your imagination!)
One thing that got me thinking about writing a blog was my new experience with chin hairs. Yes, you read that right. I wanted to blog about chin hairs. I experienced an “aha” moment the other day as I was absently stroking my chin and came across a hair at least an inch long and attached to my chin. I immediately shrank back in horror and yanked it out as quickly as I could. But then I began to realize that if I could produce a chin hair with such alarming speed, unnoticed, perhaps the chin hairs I see on other people have appeared just as suddenly.

I’ve often wondered how a person can look in the mirror and spot a huge chin hair and not immediately yank it out. I’m now awakening to the reality that these hairs are stealth bombers, arriving undetected, embarrassing us without any prior warning. I’ve determined that said chin hairs must grow along the face, hidden from view and then pop out full grown. This would account for a person going out in public, not knowing there was a chin hair attack.

In talking to my friends, (incidentally all seemed to have more knowledge about chin hairs than I did) I find that sometimes the problem has to do with eyesight. One friend told the story of visiting her elderly aunt and wondering if she should mention the growing forest of chin hairs. She waited and finally the aunt asked her to pull them for her, as she knew they were there but couldn’t see to get rid of them.

I was amazed to find 124,000 hits when I searched Google using the words “chin hairs.” It appears I am not alone in wanting to write about this facial invasion. One line that caught my eye was “chin hairs are notoriously hard to kill….”

We thought we were past embarrassing facial outbreaks, but alas, chin hairs have arrived.

Aunt Josie - reposted

2010-07-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

I wasn't really even related to "Aunt Josie," but grew to love her dearly when she moved to Bellingham for her final years to be near her niece. She lived in a retirement community and adopted several of her niece's friends as her own support group. Aunt Josie would save up her bingo wins and trade them for meal tickets so that she could invite us to join her for lunch. We had a wonderful time, entertained by the stories she would tell. Here is one that I have saved for years, thinking I'd submit it somewhere, but never getting around to it. Here's to Aunt Josie's spunk!

Aunt Josie and her friend from the retirement home, both in their early 80's, were riding together in a car one day, running errands. While driving, the friend was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. Upon seeing that the driver was not wearing a seatbelt, the officer pointed out that infraction as well, and began writing the ticket.

"Young man!" Josie's friend emphatically began. "Do you have any idea how painful it is to wear a seatbelt over a mastectomy?" The officer turned a brilliant shade of red, apologized, and backed away, declining to write either ticket.

After the officer had left, Aunt Josie exclaimed, "Why I never knew you'd had a mastectomy!" "I didn't say I'd HAD one," her friend replied.

Still sagging - reposted

2010-07-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

A chapter in one of my favorite books about women in midlife is entitled “Strut your stuff, even if it is sagging.” Of course the chapter is about accepting our bodies as they are… blah, blah blah.

Naturally I read it with half-hearted agreement.

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

But this week I found myself doomed to sagging. Yes, my insurance company rejected, denied, flat out said “no” to approving an upper eyelid blepharoplasty. Even though my eye doctor felt my sagging eyelids inhibits my vision, and the plastic surgeon submitted startling photos of my hooded eyes (without makeup!), the powers that be at Regence Blue Shield denied authorization.

I have to admit I’m disappointed. I had hoped that this simple surgery would lift my lids and reveal my sparkling blue eyes, rendering my true youthful inner being. My deepest desire was for people to quit telling me how tired I look!

So this morning I’m resigned to sagging. Guess I’ll go put on my make-up and make an effort to strut.

Pity the next person that tells me I look tired.

On rollerblading - reposted

2010-07-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

(An update: I did try to get rid of the rollerblades, listing them for sale and offering them to friends. But I just couldn't bring myself to put them in the Goodwill bin. I have just recently given them up for good, selling them at a very low price to Play It Again Sports.... But it took me two years!)

As I recover from my knee surgery (all my resolve wasn't enough to heal meniscus tears on both sides of my knee), I have come to a sad conclusion. It is time to sell my rollerblades. I bought these fancy skates, and all the trimmings, when Ken was working in Duluth, Minnesota, and I needed to find a way to fill my days. I walked along the downtown waterfront trail in Duluth watching all the rollerbladers and I knew that I could do it. I had been an accomplished roller skater in the days of my youth, spending an entire summer camped near a roller rink in Montana, skating every night. The roller skating rink was considered an "in" place to be in those days. I had no worries about my ability to skate. Stopping was another matter, and I practiced my stops before I got very brave on the skates. But I was right -- it all came back to me and I loved skating.

Shortly after our return to life and work as we now know it, I was skating around the local lake. But at just about that time, an acquaintance about my age was mowed down by young kids while skating around that same lake. She had major injuries and a long recovery. I put my skates up on the shelf for awhile, just to think about it. In a nutshell, I got cold feet!

I realize that many people over the age of 60 are still very active in the sports of their youth, but what happened for me is that I couldn't help but weigh the costs. Skating was fun, but I wasn't really all that stable on the skates, and the threat of major trauma scared me a lot. It wasn't the pain or the recovery that worried me, but the possibility that I would not fully recover and give up some of the things that I hope to do for many more years -- like walk! I have not totally given up all activities -- I still bike in spite of a fall a couple of years ago that was quite nasty. Some things still feel worth the risk.

But I think the skates have got to go. Four months of not being able to take my beloved exercise walks have been hard on me, and hard on my exercise partner, Ken! We both are feeling lethargic and out of shape. We still have a lot of travel we'd like to do, and these things must all be weighed. I've kept the skates tucked away in a corner of our attic, just waiting.... It's time. This is one of the necessary losses of my own aging journey.

Heaven is God's Mystery - reposted

2010-07-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

At times of death and loss I often turn to Joni Erickson Tada’s devotional book entitled “Heaven, Your Real Home.” She has a most unique perspective on suffering and faith, loss and hope, earth and heaven.

I have a hard time reconciling the realities of death with heaven and what sometimes feels like fantasy thinking. So it helps to be reminded of the need for simple faith.

In her chapter, “Heaven is God’s Mystery,” she writes:

Heaven is your journey’s end, your life’s goal, your purpose for going on. You’re supposed to be eagerly awaiting it. But trying to grasp heaven without faith is like trying to admire the outside of a huge great cathedral with grand windows. Standing outside, you see an impressive but imposing structure. The building is striking, but has no real glory. But if you go inside the cathedral—which is a little like looking at heaven through eyes of faith—you are breathless as you stand washed in glorious colors from the light that streams through the window.
Faith takes us beyond the imposing and impressive language of golden cities and thrones, and reveals the better, brighter glory inside the walls of the New Jerusalem. Faith takes the descriptions of 24-karat asphalt and big pearls swinging on hinges and makes us certain that what we hope for is far, far better than here.
Joni Erickson Tada
Heaven: Your Real Home
Zondervan (1996)
Page 18

With Age Wisdom - reposted

2010-07-19T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

With Age Wisdom

At twenty, stooping round about,
I thought the world a miserable place,
Truth a trick, faith in doubt,
Little beauty, less grace.

Now at sixty what I see,
Although the world is worse by far,
Stops my heart in ecstasy.
God, the wonders that there are!

Archibald MacLeish

El Salvador - reposted

2010-07-16T01:00:00.001-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

(I chose to repost this memory of one of my trips to El Salvador. This is the month when a team will be visiting this same village, arriving in the country on July 17th. I will be returning in January, leading another team, but will be waiting anxiously for news of these loved ones in San Diego de Tenango.)

Where do I start to write about my recent trip to El Salvador to visit the village of San Diego de Tenango? So many memories. I find it difficult to process at this point in my journey. I felt the same after a visit to the same village last year. My brain and heart fills to capacity, and I need some time to let the joys and sorrows sink in. Our main purpose in visiting is to build relationships with the people. We do some physical labor, working with the people, but mostly we are challenged to work on relationships. Our village has had an ongoing relationship with Agros and UPC for 6 years now. But it has been the last 3 teams (July 07, January 08, and July 08) that have seen an opening up of the villagers to us. Many of our team members were now on their second visit to the village. We have one member who has visited this same village 5 times now. The villagers are beginning to trust us and seek us out during our visit. And we find commonality in the hopes, dreams, worries that we all share as humans.

I have always noticed that returning missionaries show slide after slide of people. I confess I have often found myself slightly bored, waiting for the pictures of scenery, houses, animals, flowers. But anyone with a heart for missions soon realizes that the faces of the people are the pull on the heartstrings of the caring. I give you faces from San Diego de Tenango .

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

When God Stirs Your Nest - reposted

2010-07-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I have a friend is going through a very difficult transition. It seems as though their once-thriving business is all but defunct, the home mortgage is nearly impossible to pay, and their health is deteriorating under the stress. They are experiencing more loss than ever before in their married lives. Yet, some time ago they asked God to show them how to best serve Him. I thought of this article that a friend gave me 25 years ago when we felt that God was doing something to change our lives drastically. He did. We moved, started over. I’ve had to re-read it several more times in the last two decades because God has stirred the nest often!
I sent the article to my friend.

Nasturtium Seeds - reposted

2010-07-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

My father has always been a crusader for nasturtiums. He is the Johnny Appleseed of the world of nasturtiums, harvesting seeds every year and packaging them up in homemade, hand-colored seed packets and sending them off to relatives around the country. Last year my seeds only sprouted tiny little lonesome nasturtiums, but this year I have a whole mound of them starting to appear. My children, my siblings, my friends have all planted dad's seeds and we all try to remember to send him pictures of our successes and even of our failures. My father has loved flowers as long as I've known him. I recently came across a picture of myself at about 3 or 4 years old surrounded by his flowers, and didn't realize that my own love of flowers must have started at that moment. My daughter loves flowers and my two sons both garden with extreme passion and blog about it! Oh that all the things I wanted to pass down were so enduring! When my parents moved to a retirement community in Arizona, my father defied the rules and planted and tended beautiful nasturtiums for many years, until the management finally required that he stop. Is the love of flowers or gardening hard wired in the family genes? Thanks, dad, for the seed packets -- and the genes!

Feelings About Long Life - reposted

2010-07-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

We have worked hard at adding years to life – through research and medical advancement.

But, we meant to add years to our youth.

We want more years when we are 25 and young and healthy and virile and independent.

But added years of life didn’t get credited to that account. They were credited to the later years. That part of life of which we are most afraid, most dread, and least understand. We don’t really get more years to be with our babies, learn and discover new and exciting things, pursue power, money and sex.

No, we get more years to watch our bodies morph on us into something we neither recognize nor appreciate. We have more years to deal with chronic illness. More years to be alone without a spouse. More years to be devalued, unappreciated. More years to be old. More years to be what we were trying not to be.

This is cause for despair. Fear. Angst.

How are we as a generation going to appreciate having more years to live when somehow we feel so gypped and are so resentful?

How are we going to live longer when we don’t know how to be old?

On Turning 60 - reposted

2010-07-07T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

(It is hard to believe it has been two years since I wrote this post. I'm still getting older, quickly, and my repaired knee is doing great.)

I turned 60 last week and it was a day I was dreading. I didn’t expect that 60 would come so quickly, or that it would be fraught with aches and pains. I always assumed I would age gracefully and beautifully, able to stay active, travel, enjoy my life. But sometime before my birthday I somehow injured my knee and couldn’t take my walks, could barely get in and out of my car, couldn’t garden, and couldn’t get down on the floor with my grand babes. Guilt upon my head for all those times I walked ahead of my own mother, agonizing at her slow speed and trying to hurry her along. It is not easy to slow me down and I resent the very idea that I might not be able to do whatever I want to do.

Sure you can keep telling me that I still have many wonderful years ahead, but I believe that I am going to need to work hard to make that happen. So I am resolving to work diligently on that knee and keep it functional for just a few more years.

It is pretty easy, during the down times, to start to think that my usefulness is pretty much in the past. Maybe I don’t have any more energy or talents or gifts to offer for the betterment of the world, I begin to think. Time to shrivel up and call it a wrap. But in the midst of thinking these happy birthday thoughts, a thank-you card arrived in my mail from Leona’s mother, an 81-year old widow who is still actively living out her place in the world. The quote on that card is the theme of this blog about grace and gravity. Leona and I have always dreamed about teaming up on something, anything. We’ve teamed up on many great family outings (yes, she’s married to my brother), lots of fun times together, great conversations, dreams, ideas, years of supporting each other and our families. We’ve weathered a lot of storms together. And now we are venturing out, to see if we indeed have anything new to offer to the vast internet community. Here, then, is the quote:

"BLESSED ARE THE AVAILABLE
Blessed are the conduits, the tunnels, the tools.
DELIRIOUSLY JOYFUL
are the ones who believe that if God has used
sticks and rocks to do His will, then He can use us."
Max Lucado

Descent and Ascent - reposted

2010-07-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

During the month of July, we will be reposting some of our favorites. We have now posted 434 times since our humble beginnings. Once in awhile we like to remind you why we took on this awesome task by reposting our "welcome." We hope you are enjoying our "joyful, delirious abandon." Some of our posts are trivial -- some profound -- and we are enjoying the process! Here it is:

Simone Weil was one of last century’s most interesting, albeit controversial, philosophers and thinkers. She coined the phrase “grace and gravity” when describing life. In fact, a posthumous publication of her writings was entitled “Gravity and Grace." She wrote that two forces prevail in the world, light and gravity. Gravity reflects our humanness; light reflects God’s grace.

Those two words, grace and gravity, describe for us the struggle we have between counting the joys of a life long lived and blessed, and the realities or gravity of considering life’s meaning and significance, the end of life, and the realities of eternity.

Weil wrote, “All the natural acts of the soul are controlled by laws similar to Gravity. The only exception is grace.”

In our efforts to face the arguably exciting days of our 50’s and 60’s, we have chosen to look at the process through a new set of eyes. We know that we don’t have a choice about aging, but we do have a choice about living. We are choosing to live with eyes wide open. We want to see more clearly all that is going on around us in our families, communities, around the globe and on the living room floor. Life is about the big things and ideas that haunt us – like social justice, poverty, and the price of real estate. It’s also about washing mud off our grandson’s hands and sitting very still to hear crickets squeak. We both want to experience the grace of aging with joyful, delirious abandon. But we both understand that there exists an irresistible pull of gravity – not the force that causes our skin to sag, but the realities of the difficult things in life. Like the bone-crushing gravity of the death of a friend or a newly diagnosed disease. We want to absorb it all, process it through our life experience, profession and perspective, and then write it down. Seeing our feelings in words somehow emblazons the experience on our soul, and pain is redeemed, joy is reclaimed, and life takes on new vibrancy.

Welcome to our journey of grace and gravity.

Welcome Revisited

2010-07-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

During the month of July, we will be reposting some of our favorites. We have now posted 434 times since our humble beginnings. Once in awhile we like to remind you why we took on this awesome task by reposting our "welcome." We hope you are enjoying our "joyful, delirious abandon." Some of our posts are trivial -- some profound -- and we are enjoying the process! Here it is:

Simone Weil was one of last century’s most interesting, albeit controversial, philosophers and thinkers. She coined the phrase “grace and gravity” when describing life. In fact, a posthumous publication of her writings was entitled “Gravity and Grace." She wrote that two forces prevail in the world, light and gravity. Gravity reflects our humanness; light reflects God’s grace.

Those two words, grace and gravity, describe for us the struggle we have between counting the joys of a life long lived and blessed, and the realities or gravity of considering life’s meaning and significance, the end of life, and the realities of eternity.

Weil wrote, “All the natural acts of the soul are controlled by laws similar to Gravity. The only exception is grace.”

In our efforts to face the arguably exciting days of our 50’s and 60’s, we have chosen to look at the process through a new set of eyes. We know that we don’t have a choice about aging, but we do have a choice about living. We are choosing to live with eyes wide open. We want to see more clearly all that is going on around us in our families, communities, around the globe and on the living room floor. Life is about the big things and ideas that haunt us – like social justice, poverty, and the price of real estate. It’s also about washing mud off our grandson’s hands and sitting very still to hear crickets squeak. We both want to experience the grace of aging with joyful, delirious abandon. But we both understand that there exists an irresistible pull of gravity – not the force that causes our skin to sag, but the realities of the difficult things in life. Like the bone-crushing gravity of the death of a friend or a newly diagnosed disease. We want to absorb it all, process it through our life experience, profession and perspective, and then write it down. Seeing our feelings in words somehow emblazons the experience on our soul, and pain is redeemed, joy is reclaimed, and life takes on new vibrancy.

Welcome to our journey of grace and gravity.

Truth Telling

2010-06-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

Along the lines of telling the truth, here's a quote by Maya Angelou I've used before in this blog:

"Let's tell the truth to the people. When people ask, 'How are you?' have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don't want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you." Maya Angelou in Letter to my Daughter (Random House)

Forgiven

2010-06-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

Some blog posts haunt me until I get them written. This is one of those. I struggle sometimes with exactly how vulnerable I want to be in these posts. So I was struck in the gut by the sermon from my pastor recently when he said “Be honest about your failures. We need to allow Christ to hold our moral failings in His grace!” So, here is a story of my recent moral failing. You might think it a petty failing, but to me it was an important turning point.

I recently sold an expensive item on eBay, agreeing that I would pay the shipping and have the item packaged professionally so that it wouldn’t be at risk of breaking. I was very pleased until I found out that the total cost of such a promise was $87 at the UPS store! As I was recovering from my shock and disappointment, the clerk said, “If you’re a member of AAA, you can have a 5% discount. Are you?” I immediately responded, “Yes.” She then completed tallying up my bill and then asked for my AAA card for verification. This prompted my need for a second lie. I mumbled something about not carrying the card with me and felt my face grow red. She offered to let me come back with the card and I dug the hole even deeper. She then added the discounted figure back into the cost and I went on my way.

Now I am not lying when I say that I do try, at every turn, to be totally honest. I have had some “small” slips where I justified not going back into a store when I realized that something wasn’t charged correctly, and I am the first to try to get store clerks to go above and beyond a coupon saving if possible. I’ve noticed myself becoming more lax, justifying myself for not doing the Abe Lincoln penny thing. But this moral lapse was definitely a choice, made in an instant, to try to save exactly $4.35!

I left the store, still burning in my own shame, and drove home. I believed that the store clerk surely knew that I had lied to her, based on my behavior. Had I gotten away with the lie, would I have been moved to make it right? Probably not. I would have gone on my way, happy to have “deserved” the discount since the price was so exorbitant anyway -- and wiped the transgression out of my memory. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, I think I might have gotten away with this AAA discount issue once before. But the realization that I had lied for such a silly, pitiable reason, still brings me shame.

In my defense, I now finish the story. Within moments of leaving the store, the still small voice in my head said, “Terry, you have to make this right. You have to apologize to the clerk.” “NO, please don’t make me do that!” “Yup, that’s what it will take.” “NO, please, not that!” "Yes, that is what it will take to get rid of my voice.” I came home, picked up the phone and called the clerk, apologizing for my lie and asking her forgiveness. Needless to say, she was quite shocked and told me what a wonderful person I was (wrong!) and was more than willing to let it go. I hope that I can return to that store, forgiven, next time I have something to ship. I told no one else of my indiscretion, too embarrassed to tell the story on myself. I hope and pray that I can look in the mirror and see my “true self is emerging.” (Pastor George)
So here I am. With all my warts exposed, in need of forgiveness, wanting once again to be trusted with the very little, so that I can then be trusted with much.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10, New International Version

In Search of Wisdom

2010-06-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

I’ve said it many times: Midlife and older people should be involved in all areas of ministry in the church because it needs their wisdom.

While it is true we yearn for sage insights, wisdom doesn’t come automatically with the passing of years alone. American comedian Tom Wilson is quoted as saying, “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up by itself.”

Almost synonymous with the word “wisdom” is the name Solomon. After all, he was not only a great king who governed his people with integrity and renowned good judgment, he was an esteemed philosopher, writer and teacher. Scholars widely agree that many of the words recorded in the Book of Proverbs are those of a reflective statesman and father writing counsel to the next generations. “My Son,” is often the prelude to words of exhortation pointing toward artful living and godly choices.

I often wonder how Solomon got so wise. The opening words of the book of Proverbs say the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (1:7), but where is the starting point for wisdom?

It seems that wisdom comes through the difficult work of analytically processing life. Solomon had the writings of his father, the great King David, who through his years had lived in the finest of palaces but also in the darkest of caves. His poetry, psalms and songs reflected a level of introspection rare in most of our personal experience. Solomon must have thought long and hard about this heritage, even as he examined life around him. His confidence that God could be trusted was seared by his own disconnect between faith and reality. His personal wrestling match with knowledge, experience, faith and life are public record in Ecclesiastes. Some of his conclusions are rather dire and almost depressing, but his quest for wisdom will forever be inspiring. The final statements in Ecclesiastes say of the writer, “He pondered and searched out... and what he wrote was upright and true.” A final admonition? “Fear God and keep his commandments,” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

Dr. Monika Ardelt, Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Florida, has done extensive research in the area of wisdom and how it relates to aging. She states that wisdom is the rediscovery of the significance of old truths through a deeper and more profound understanding of events. She adds that while wise people do not necessarily learn more facts than other individuals, they comprehend the deeper meaning for themselves.

How are we, the Boomers and Beyond, doing at being wise? Are we dispensing knowledge that has been marinated in God’s wisdom found in deep contemplation and thought, or do we give advice similar to Job’s counselors, whose words he describe as “tasteless food?” (Job 12:12).

Dr. Ardelt says that wisdom comes in old age from reflection, assimilating and seeking understanding. The great preacher Charles Spurgeon once said, “To know is not to be wise. To use knowledge is to have wisdom.”

It is our obligation not to simply offer knowledge or advice to the next generations. It is to impart wisdom. This comes through knowing the Word of God, applying and praying it into our lives, wrestling with the dissonance, reflecting, seeking understanding and ultimately finding perspective in light of eternity.

May we be a generation that truly searches for and offers wisdom.
(Written by Leona in her role as Co-Director, Converge Worldwide 2nd 1/2 for Him)
(Photo by Jenn Larsen, shared via Flickr)

Prayers for Steve

2010-06-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

If all goes as planned, including fighting off an infection which derailed his earlier-scheduled surgery, Steve Ruetschle should be in surgery tomorrow. Thousands of people in the Christian community throughout the world will be on our knees in his behalf. A dear friend pointed me to two songs of comfort which I share with you at this time. Your Hands and All I Need by JJ Heller speak to the agony -- and comfort -- we all share.

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 2 Corinthians 1:5, NIV

Stuff - ad nauseum!

2010-06-21T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

I have written far too many posts about the need to purge our belongings as we age. Once again, however, my husband and I are trying to get rid of some excess baggage. We carpeted our cozy nest and it felt so good to have a fresh start that we began reassessing – again – some of the stuff we hoard. We lack a garage but have a very small attic which we tend to overfill time and time again. I am reminded of a few lines from a Wordsworth poem:

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
(The World is Too Much With Us, 1807, partial)

Wordsworth was contrasting Nature with the world of materialism and “success.” He believed that by being insensitive to the richness of Nature, we might forfeit our souls.

I am not saying anything quite so profound, but the line “Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers” comes into my mind regularly when I’m thinking I want to hold on to the things I’ve owned. Unfortunately, I am much happier purging HIS stuff than mine, as evidenced by my crabbiness at his “bag” collection (you really DO need a bag to pack for EVERY occasion?) but my blindness to my similar fetish with bags collected on our various trips. Surely my collection should be saved – his tossed? I did however notice once again the difference in attitudes in my own household for purging. My husband looks at every item that is leaving the house as a lost-forever memory or opportunity. He mourns the things he has had to give up, remembering the one thing that he needed soon after it was gone. I, on the other hand, see the endless possibility of replacing something that was purged, should the need arise again. (He calls it “throwing money at the problem.” ) That happens so seldom that to me it is a worthwhile gamble.

But this week, with our new-found desire to keep the place relatively uncluttered, we have both been in the purging mood at the same time and the stuff has been flying out the door to Goodwill, EBay, or the kids, whenever we can convince them to take something off our hands! Cheer us on!

(Photo by Ed Yourdon, shared via Flickr)

Transmissions, Teeth and Tourmaline

2010-06-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Leona Bergstrom

This week Richard and I celebrate our 38th anniversary. I think anniversaries are always significant milestones because every year is marked with new shared experiences. This has been a great year. Together we’ve experienced the high rough seas of the Caribbean, climbed the Kalalau Trail (well, part of it) in Kauai,eaten lobster on the Connecticut coast and prayed in an ancient Moldovan monastery. We’ve welcomed a new grandson to the world, and watched as all three boys learned new skills, words and other charms. We’ve said goodbye to loved ones. We’ve had a combined total of seven colds.

Life is filled with the extraordinary and the simple. That’s why we’re okay with what our anniversary gifts are this year. Richard gets a new transmission in his van and I get a new shiny gold crown for my tooth. Yes, it’s one of those stretches where things seem to fall apart. Expensive things! But after 38 years, it’s okay. You go with the flow, as they say, and thank the Lord that you still have transportation as well as your own teeth.

The symbol for the 38th anniversary is tourmaline. Being unfamiliar with that gemstone I of course, googled it.

I discovered it is a gem that comes in a variety of colors and is known for its tendency to change hues whether in daylight or artificial light. According to the International Colored Gemstone Association, “the gemstone has an endless number of faces, and for that reason it suits all moods. It is a gemstone of love and friendship, and is said to render them firm and long-lasting. Egyptian legend has it that the tourmaline, on its long journey up from the centre of the Earth, passed over a rainbow. In doing so, it assumed the colors of the rainbow and that is why it is still referred to as the ‘gemstone of the rainbow’ today.”

Transmissions and teeth – the everyday experiences of a long and maturing marriage. Tourmaline – what a perfect symbol for years of experiences that reflect color, variety and the rainbows of our life. Thirty-eight years and we are beginning to see the whole spectrum! I delight in our marriage, and like the tourmaline, it is full of love and friendship that is firm and long-lasting.

Tipping Etiquette

2010-06-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

As I was watching two men work hard all day to install my new carpet, I wondered whether or not a tip was expected or appropriate. Let's hear it for the internet to answer whatever question we might come up with! Here is an amazing website that is sure to answer that question, once and for all. After checking in with the website, I opted for a small monetary tip and a Tully's gift card for a cup of coffee. Better to err on the side of generosity and allow for a little trickle down in this economy!

(Photo by thoth92, shared via Flickr)

Let the Games Begin!

2010-06-14T01:00:00.000-07:00

Posted by Terry McNichols

One of the joys of grandparenting that I hadn't really thought about, since all of our grandchildren are under the age of six, was how much fun it would be when they started to play actual card and board games. Our 5-1/2-year-old grandson has been hooked on UNO for about 6 months and we often play 25-30 games at a sitting. He has developed strategies and understands the game completely. So we decided, along with his parents, to see if he was ready for one of our favorite games, Settlers of Cataan. The first time we played a dumbed down version, just leaving off one set of cards and he took to the game immediately. We added in the rest of the cards for game two and he now has a very good understanding of the game.

In talking to some other mothers and grandmothers, I was referred to a very fun internet blog called Games With Hayden. This site is the blog of a Seattle boy, 6 or 7 years old, explaining the rules of around 50 popular games. Check it out if you want to introduce a new game to your grandkids or kids! And by the way, gaming is a great way to instill lessons on fairness, honesty, strategy, good sportsmanship, and the art of losing gracefully.