Grace

The simple truth

2005-02-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

Gone were the days of innocence when the truth was the truth and the lie was a lie.
As one goes deeper into the truth and bring human reasoning into, the truth gets distorted. Its obvious, coz a hundred people see the same a hundred different ways. But in your mind according your best understanding your truth is the truth. So who better to judge the truth but God. So I shall read the Bible. The words closest to the truth, and yet a step away from truth thanks to my human reasoning and understanding.

Human reasoning

2005-02-21T18:10:00.000-08:00

Human reasoning can make the wrong right and the right wrong. For instance, cheating is wrong.. to most atleast. But If the student came from a poor background, had promising intelligence but had no time to study for that test coz something drastic happened in his home that week and that test is the deciding factor is he can make it to the next round. Helping the child with the answers in that test may seem right, with human reasoning and emotions put into it.

Deflated theories

2005-02-01T23:55:00.000-08:00

It seems that as time goes, man make many discoveries
He seems to be getting very intelligent.
He comprehends new things and recognizes that many old discoveries no longer stand.
The higher we go in discovery, the more theories are debunked and the more the realization that the less is what we know
Great discoveries today, can become a great jokes tomorrow
I’m not saying that we should cut the chase and stop discovering
I’m saying that just because its science it doesn’t make it the truth.

Why I love my family.. hehe

2005-01-25T01:28:00.000-08:00

My dad
He works hard for the family, although he loves to nag…. He cares. He doesn’t raise his hands on us, although we boil his blood at times. He is short tempered but he draws a line and never hits us, even though its common in Indian families. So he is a good man. I’m where I am today because of him.

My mom
Just as naggy, but she does everything for us. From cooking to cleaning without complaining.. Super mom!! She is schizophrenic, therefore most of time misunderstood. Sometimes we lack patience to understand her situation. God give me patience,
I thank you for a wonderful mom..

My bro.. Malcolm (middle)
Short tempered like me dad.. what’s with temper and Indian men???? Still remember when he was tiny, such a sweet bro he was! But he’s grown up now but we still talk and joke. What can I say… I thank you God for a good bro like him,

My youngest bro
He is a monkey, donkey, hippopotamus.. I love animals so I love him too.

Right Living is the fruit of Right Believing

2005-01-11T23:55:00.001-08:00

What is the truth? When I feel truthful enough I would answer..
The truth is.. I don’t know.
Why are we here?
Where do we go for the truth? Someone intelligent?
Who can be more intelligent than the maker Himself.
Everyone has opinion about life, who is right? Does it matter?
Definitely, The right believing will produce right living

Is Christianity the truth?

2005-01-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

Again, I am in no position to say what is the truth, My finite human mind has no way comprehending God infinite mind. But this much I dare say, there is definitely something in Christianity and a religion that has changed so many lives for the better. Perhaps it strengthens someone psychologically thus produce a positive change, you who have no believe in God may say. But hey you must a least give it credit to it for being the BEST ‘religion’ for inducing the best out of a man.

The Crossover to Life!

2005-01-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

Science vs Supernatural
Big Bang & Evolution vs Intelligent Design
Intelligence vs Foolishness..

The fear of looking like a fool, seriously who is fine with being called a fool? Still everyone is a fool to someone. You can never please everyone, you would know that by now. It is important not to be a fool to yourself. I wanted to be intelligent for the world I became a fool to myself. Abusing the word fool way too much huh.. alright flipping the thesaurus now =P Try calling me a nitwit(Oo.. changed word, applause!)now, I'll smile.. Aleast I'm a HAPPY truly BLESSED nitwit(oops) =) & I'll still love you(if you called me whatever.. after a few long hard breathing..), because Jesus exist in my life! He is The Man..

Ok, back to the part about the old me.. I bamboozled(more applause!) myself into looking at science for answers in life. In science existence came to be just because.. No reason, no meaning to life. Life exists because of chance. If God had part to play, He didn't seemed to be caring about what's happening to His creation.

{[World is sick] + [people in pain]+ [my family falling apart]+ [(dream job down the drain)x(directionless life)x(streams of tears)]} x [No SUPERNATURAL Help] = No God

I tried to stay positive, telling myself that I could have been in a far worse position. By probability I should count myself lucky to be where I am today. But life's pain(meaningless in the first place), didn't allow me to stay optimistic for long.. BUT I prided myself not to be weak like those take refuge in an 'man-made' God (*Goofy Grin* My dear spiritual friends.. No.. put that weapon down..) I need to be strong enough to endure the pain myself, I'm EVOLVED to handle whatever emotions! Yeah right! I was ready to jump anytime.

One good day, feeling vulnerable I asked "God show yourself to me in my dream (I doubted God could visit me anywhere else.. perhaps I'd be freaked if He appeared elsewhere*shrugs* well I asked what I asked.. ) Please if You exist, don't allow me to leave Earth not knowing You."
Felt peace.. I stared at the trees out my windows, for the first time in my life I realised how beautifully made it is. Green is pleasing to the eye, a scientific finding said, I remembered. Took a scientific paper to tell me that? Yeah Big Discovery.. Ok I told you I was feeling sappy. So anyway, I was contented to look at the trees, the moon, the stars, the sea, things of nature, they gave me peace. It was unexplainable. I was spiritually awakened. Welcome to the world Vicky!

The battle of the spiritual me and the scientific me took on each other for months. Not realising what was already happening in me, I sought to find scientific answer and evidences to prove God's existence. I didn't want to do anything out of 'blind faith' and risk looking like a fool. Amazed I was to find articles by scientists who are able disapprove the big bang theory and able prove the Noah's Ark Flood.. True? Seriously I didn't know anymore. I can't decipher the great mathematical equations for myself to decide. All my faith in the great equations fell flat and I went down with it. What is faith? Believing something you can't see..

I realised my beliefs in science and laws of physics were nothing but 'blind faith'.. strong faith that whatever Einstein said was true. I was pointing the fingers the wrong way.. Even when the equations in the law of physics weren't perfect an came with exceptions, my faith in it were strong. I had been blind and not realise...

Few days later, God appeared to me in my dream! Whoa!! Chance or God's plan? Chance, chance, chance.. just a freaky coincidence.. I heard myself say.. But I dared to take a chance in faith. I believed that He came because I asked. The crossover was done. Simple. I am now a fool to the world but I think it's wisest thing I have ever done:) Today I can see His hands in almost every aspect of my life. When God links one those 'meaningless experiences' and uses it to mould me and my spiritually upbringing and I am able to see how, it all adds up and becomes very meaningful.. I want to weep! Truly I'm blessed to found God who loves us.

JESUS HUGS

2005-01-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

JESUS HUGS
Have you ever had a "Jesus hug",
Do you know what one feels like?
If you've never had a "Jesus hug",
I pray one day you might.
A "Jesus hug" is different,
As far as hugging goes;
It's a little taste of Heaven,
Here on earth below.

Only those who love the Lord,
Can give a "Jesus hug";
It conveys God's grace and mercy,
And unconditional love.

Those who give out "Jesus hugs"
Always seem to somehow know
Just when you're in need of one
To make your spirit glow.

And if you ever need one
I hope that I will see,
So I can give you a "Jesus hug";
Just like someone did for me.

The old me

2004-09-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

The old me - before I knew Jesus

I was a self declared strong girl. Most would think the same too, after all most would judge you for who you are on the outside anyway.
Have you heard about the coffee,egg and carrot situation?

The carrot is strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, if subjected to the boiling water, it softens and becomes weak.

The egg is fragile. Its thin outer shell protects its
liquid interior, but, after sitting through the boiling water,
the inside will become hardened.

The ground coffee bean is unique, however. It changes the
water.

Which are you? When adversity knocks
on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

A carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity,
wilt and become soft and lose strength?

An egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with
the heat? Once with a fluid spirit, but after death,
breakup, financial hardship, or some other trial, become
hardened and stiff? Same outer shell , but on the
inside bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or the coffee bean that actually changes the hot
water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water
gets hot,it changes the situation & releases the fragrance and flavor.

I was an egg, I looked calm on the outside. I was growing hard in the inside, wanted to release the pain but didn't want to risk looking weak so I pushed myself to keep everything in me. But eventually the inside could not be contained anymore, it pushed its way out, the shell cracked, and made a mess..

I tried so many self help books, nothing worked. Tried to be a coffee bean and change the situation, but I lacked patience and pride eventually ruled my life. Nothing made sense and nothing people said was sinking in anymore. I was like whatever.. they don't know me, they think they are so smart?? They think they can solve my problem? Try being in my place, it's easier to give advice but just try being in my place!

The world is revolving, and I am in it. I lived because I existed.

I hated religious people and people who loved to talk about God. Because I could not see Him helping me.. "There is no God, if there is He doesn't care!!" I declared.

There were no reason to live.. No meaning to life.. No reason to take my life too.. I became calm again. I shall live because I can.. as the next breathe flows ceaselessly into me. I stop hating people and I said "God if you exist let me know, who you are"

And He did

Amen.