26 years ago today, my mother died.

Emma Mae Waters was getting out of work at the New Hampshire state mental hospital, where she was a nurse. While on her way to her car, she was abducted by Robert Bruneau, her estranged and abusive husband — my stepfather. Long story short, she didn’t get out of the car alive. She was 37 years old when we lost her.

15 years ago today, my stepson was born.

Devon came into my life when he was 15 months old. I dated, married and had a son with his mother. Though the marriage didn’t last, I’ve had the chance to see this happy, chubby-faced baby turn into a strong, confident young man. Like his own dad, he’s learning to work with his hands at a vocational high school — he even welded a flower for his mother last fall. He’s a starter on his freshman football team, and will be going out for baseball in a few weeks.

There are only two things that connect these two events: today, and me. But I see it as an extreme example of a situation that exists throughout everyone’s life:

If you are willing to see it — and willing to work at it — there is hope to be found after loss.

Maybe you were laid off and decided to make a movie. Maybe you decided to turn a tragedy around and do something good. Or maybe your company, hurt by decades of decline in interest for your products, reinvents itself to become a leader once again. There are a million examples, big and small.

For every loss, failure, or trouble that a person, family, or company experiences, there’s an opportunity, too. A chance to turn that loss around and build upon it, to create something new. And with that, a duty to remember the loss, but to find a way to find hope and purpose again — if you’re willing, and your eyes are open.

It took 11 years for me to find mine.

What’s yours?

Recently, I had two interactions with two different homeless people, with two very different results. For the sake of demonstration, let’s start with the more recent event first.

This afternoon, I’m standing by the Boylston T stop in Boston Common, waiting for a friend to meet me for lunch. While waiting, I start reading one of those historical-fact boards they put in places like the Boston Common. A homeless man stands next to me, looking at the map on the board. He turns to me and asks me if I know where the such-and-such shelter is. I direct him to the nearest one I know of, but he says he went down that way and couldn’t find it. (This is odd, I figure, since it’s less than a block away and homeless people hang in front of that shelter all day long.) He then asks if I live in the area, if I have a computer (on me, or in general, I wasn’t sure), and if I want to drink or smoke pot with him — all while looking me over nervously. Not that I had any interest in taking him up on his offer, but it felt like, if I did, I would surely lose something. He eventually reasoned that he wasn’t going to get anything from me, and went on his way.

Rewind to around 10:15 this morning. I come walking out of the Apple store, and a woman approaches, asking for enough change to buy a bag of chips. I take a second to see if I actually have any change, and apologize that I don’t. Then something interesting happens: The woman (Michelle was her name) asks if I’d be kind enough to charge the bag of chips on my debit card. Michelle and I start walking towards the drug store, and we start talking. We both come to the agreement that a bag of chips isn’t what Michelle needs –breakfast is.  We continue on to a local shop; Michelle orders up an egg, home fries and a soda to go, and I paid for it. About $8, including tip.

Both people were in similar situations, with relatively similar end goals. The guy in the common was actually more conversational than Michelle. Why, then, was Michelle more successful than the guy?

It’s because the guy (whose name I didn’t even ask for) had a hidden motive, whereas Michelle was genuine. She wasn’t trying to make a friend. She was hungry, and wanted a meal. Once she had the meal, she thanked me and moved on.

It works similarly in social media. It’s often said that companies need to “be more human”. But what does that mean, exactly?

It means that you need to communicate with your audience with honesty. Answer questions. Be helpful. Know your marketing message, and how best to deliver it. When a customer complains, listen to their concerns and respond in a timely manner.

What it doesn’t mean is to be false. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. If you’re an older, established company, don’t jump on to social media channels and make like you’re a brash, young startup. Conversely, if you’re a startup, let your audience know you’re working your tail off to fix any kinks you have.

If you approach your customers like Michelle approached me — honestly, with no hidden agenda — you’ll be amazed at how receptive they are to hearing your message.

Marketing has often been likened to a race.

The traditional view of marketing — especially that of most short-term campaigns — has long resembled a drag race: launch hard, burn gas, go-go-go!

A lot of what I hear in meetings with prospective clients is directly tied in to this “need for speed”: how quickly will social media spike our sales? Boost our traffic? Increase our donations?

But in my view, marketing — especially social marketing — is more like the 24 Heures du Mans.

The 24 Heures du Mans is unlike any other car race. It’s an old race — the oldest endurance race in the world, in fact — held annually since 1923 near the town of Le Mans, Sarthe, France. There are older races, yes; the first organized auto race was in 1894. There are other endurance races, as well; the Rolex 24 at Daytona is held at the Daytona International Speedway every January.

But what makes Le Mans unique is that is is run on public roads — more slippery and treacherous than smooth, purpose-built racetracks — and, instead of racing to a predetermined number of laps, the winner is decided by who goes the farthest over a 24 hour period.

This means, to win, you don’t just have to beat all the other drivers, you have to make sure you, your team, and your vehicle are equipped to run for one full day. You need to strategize your pacing, your fuel consumption (Audi, above, uses diesel engines for this very reason – and wins), your pit stops and driver changes.

Similarly, with social marketing, your goals will take time to achieve, and require similar endurance and long-view strategies. Where should we put our resources to ensure we don’t run short? What metrics are going to be most vital to monitor to keep our engine running smoothly? Who’s going to create our strategy (race captain)  and who is going to execute our plans (driver)?

Keeping on the automotive theme, when Ford hired Scott Monty to run their social media efforts, they weren’t just hiring someone who could write a blog post or send a tweet (believe me, he can do both). They were hiring someone to develop achievable, long term goals, and then manage a team to achieve those goals. In the year and half or so he’s been there, he’s seen ups and downs.

Surely, the day of the RangerStation fire felt like a get-it-done-NOW kind of race. But throughout, Scott has maintained concrete goals for what he wants his team to achieve — and worked with the understanding that it takes time, stamina, and determination to see it through.

Take a look at your goals with social media. Are you trying to win on a 1/4 mile dirt track, some smooth-as-glass speedway, or are you turning into the Tetre Rouge, ready to hit 200mph on the Mulsanne Straight for the first time? Are you prepared to go on and on, through the smooth and the bumpy, until the ultimate victory?

(photo via

Some bloggers are difficult to pitch. I hear stories about how some bloggers won’t write about a product or service unless someone they’ve already met in person, or have a relationship of some sort through social media, suggests it to them. If you’re new or relatively unknown, good luck getting their attention.

I’m not that hard to pitch. If you send me an email that matches the niche of my site — in my case, Boston-area architecture and design — and shows some degree of originality or something interesting about you, I’m probably going to write about you.

An email I received today breaks even my generous threshold for what’s acceptable.

First, and most important, he got my name wrong. If Andrew even bothered to read a post, or the “About” page, he would know who he was addressing in his email. Do just a little homework and you’ll be in an infinitely better position than Andrew here.

Second, he gives no information about his company beyond a name and website. How are you going convince someone that your product is worthwhile if you don’t tell them anything? It’s an old saying, but it’s true: Tell a story, explain how you’re unique, better. If you don’t tell people, how are they going to know?

Third, he tries to bribe me. I have no problem with reviewing a product (so long as any prior arrangement is properly disclosed), or even arranging a contest, giveaway or other such benefit for a blog’s audience. But to just throw out “I have cash and merchandise available” reeks of a lack of class.

I know this isn’t the norm. This isn’t what the top speakers in public relations and blogger outreach promote. But I can only guess at how many similar emails Andrew sent out, and fear for what that says about the company he represents — and the industry he works in.

If there’s any single benefit of what Chris Brogan offers to the social media world at large (and let me say, there are many), it’s that he makes you think.

Recently, after prodding from Robert Scoble, Chris created a second Twitter account. The guise of @broganmedia (that’s the first tweet, above) was to share a “more pure stream” of Chris’s content. The account, so far, follows no one, doesn’t converse and only shares links to articles, either Chris’s or those that he likes.

The idea of Chris separate from his content — or vice versa — is a strange one. In my mind, producing vast amounts of social media content is a big part of the brand that is Chris Brogan. Where’s the value of the content, if it’s separate from the man who makes it?

This, of course, is something that Chris is going to have to figure out. But what this scenario did for me was, it made me start to question the approach I’ve taken to Twitter for my various pursuits.

On Twitter, I have separate personalities. Of course, I’m @gradontripp, freelance content and social media strategist, online do-gooder, and indie rock junky. And then I’m @designboston, a stream utterly obsessed with all things architecture, furniture, and other design elements.

What value am I creating by having them separate? Would there be more value in combining them? After all, they’re two sides of one person. Me.

(I’m also one-third of @sm4sc, the Twitter stream of the organization that Matt Knell, Meg Fowler and I started in 2008 to help nonprofits use social media tools. Since SM4SC is all of us, it makes sense that the Twitter account remains separate from either one of us.)

On one hand, @gradontripp is ME. I ramble, talk nonsense, espouse my thoughts on the state of marketing in the online world, share news, music and video links, and  tweet sweet nothings to Meg, much to the chagrin of some of our following (tough for them, I say!).

Having @designboston separate, it seems, makes that stream “more pure”, as Scoble puts it, but it intrinsically becomes less conversational. It becomes more about links to content, retweeting other relevant information, and be generally more distanced from my community.

But this isn’t true to who I really am. In “real life”, I’m a father, boyfriend, design fanatic, and marketer, in that order. I’m the person people go to when they want to know about a building in Boston (something Leslie Poston stumped me on last week). I’m the guy that can tell you who made what chair, and when. I continuously think of ways to improve my apartment, from storage to furniture to cookware (well, Meg helped with that one) and more.

Why am I not letting that side shine through on @gradontripp?

Would the people that connect with @designboston be willing to put up with all the non-design stuff I talk about on @gradontripp?

Would those that follow @gradontripp care to hear about my furniture obsession?

To all of these, I don’t know. What are your thought?

Earlier this week, Jeff Cutler and I met with people from the Greater Boston Food Bank and brainstormed ideas to help them better use social media. It was a great conversation, and one that I have with many nonprofits that I work with. In an effort to help more organizations, I’ve listed below five quick strategies to get moving with social media today:

Listen

Probably the quickest, most painless — and often most helpful — way to use social media, “listening” means monitoring the social web for mentions of your organization or area of expertise. There are a variety of technologies available, both free and paid, but here are two free methods you can start using today:

• Google Alerts - Enter the term you want to search (ex: your organization name), then select “Comprehensive” for the type and feed for the delivery method (you need to be logged into your Google account to access the feed option). This will automatically add your alerts to your (free) Google Reader account. You’re now tracking every time Google finds a mention of your term.
• Twitter Search – Enter the term you want to search, then hit “search”. On the right hand of the results screen, click “Feed for this query.” A page of code will appear. Copy the URL and add it to your Google Reader account. You’re tracking every time there’s a mention of your term on Twitter.

What will you listen for? Surely you’ll want to find any mentions of your organization name, but also the area that you operate in. Listen for what people are saying about you. Listen Listen for opportunities for your organization to help, as well as chances where you can be helped.

Education

Who knows what you do better than you? Whether it’s the environment, early childhood education, or historic preservation, you’re the ones that are in the trenches every day. Share what you know, using simple tools like blogging, Twitter, Facebook, or online video. Handheld cameras — like those from Flip or Kodak — are super-easy to use and cost less than $200.

Brand Awareness

The more you share, connect with supporters, those who you can help, and others in the nonprofit world, you’ll be building awareness for your organization’s brand. And not just within your local area either, but nationally (or internationally).

Affinity

Sure, people know about you, but what do they think about you? By addressing things you uncover — both good and bad — from listening, by sharing your knowledge, and being generally helpful to those you connect with, you will increase people’s opinions of your organization. After all, it’s all about winning hearts and minds, right?

Promotion

This is the part that takes the longest to cultivate. After you’ve won the hearts and minds, you can then begin to promote yourself. Whether it’s for donation or volunteers, people will always be more willing once they’re fully aware of the good that your doing.

Of course, this is just a quick list. There are a variety of tools and strategies you can use to going in social media. Have a suggestion? What did I miss?

Earlier this week, Vanity Fair put out an article featuring 6 women they deemed “America’s Tweethearts”. Each of these women has garnered a significant audience through Twitter and other social media tools… but the main point the article seemed to stress was that these women were physically attractive (in addition to painting them as more than a little “cheerleaderesque.”)

The thing is, I don’t follow any of them on Twitter, and have actually only heard of a few of them. Maybe that’s a sign that I’m not as up on the social media game as I should be. More likely, it’s that their content isn’t what I’m looking for, personally — not because it’s not good, but because it doesn’t fit my interests and needs.

(That said, I saw a video of one of these “Tweethearts” interviewing an executive from an auto company this week that was simply awkward — perhaps “pretty reporter” syndrome has followed women into New Media, too?)

It wasn’t long after checking out the article that I began making a mental list of women — women that I have interacted with through social media, and many in person, too — that understand the unique attributes of social media, and how to use these tools to help businesses and non-profits, and further their own careers.

(They might well own trenchcoats and high heels, too… but how good they look in them doesn’t have much to do with their other skills.)

And so, I present my list of 10 Social Media Women That Deserve a Vanity Fair Article:

Alicia Staley (@stales) is a three-time cancer survivor using Twitter to build her charitable enterprise, The Staley Foundation. She is also a social media activist at WEGO Health, and many other places across the web where people are having important conversations about health care.

Amber Naslund (@ambercadabera) is a smart, crazily organized “social media and marketing crackerjack” who concentrates on effective community management with Radian6. Amber leads by example, and is one of the most thoughtful bloggers in the social media space.

Jennifer Leggio (@mediaphyter) is a high-level thinker (with a strong dose of practicality and down-to-earth perspective) and blogger at ZDNet, an online security pro, and co-host of the quick n dirty podcast. When Jennifer weighs in on a topic, people take note.

Meg Fowler (@megfowler), through her eponymous personal blog and a Twitter stream that, like her, is rarely “on topic” — though when she is “on”, she displays an amazing grasp of marketing and branding strategy — has built a career as a freelance writer from the ground up. (Oh, and she has fantastic taste in men, too.

Rachel Happe (@rhappe) is a connector of ideas and people, and speaks from a place of both vision and practicality. Her extensive enterprise business experience gives her an action-oriented view on community, which she is putting to work with her (and partner Jim Storer’s) Community Roundtable. If you mix Chris Brogan-eque perspective with her metrics-minded advice, you get a powerful 1-2 punch.

Rebecca Corliss (@repcor) has used her passionate love of music and social media to create innovative marketing campaigns for Hubspot. A PR pro by training, she shines in helping teach small businesses use inbound marketing, as displayed in her work spearheading Hubspot’s Inbound Marketing University.

Stefania Butler (@citymama) came to prominence as one of the original parentbloggers at her CityMama site (note: I didn’t say mommyblogger!) and continues to provide wise, sensitive community leadership across that space. You can find her working as a communications pro with her own Clever Girls Collective enterprise.

Tamsen McMahon (@tamadear) is an “intellectual magpie, finding what shines in branding, arts, higher education, and life.” (That’s an awesome Twitter bio! Who could say it better?) She worked for many years helping social organizations build brands, and now she’s helping brands become more social with Sametz Blackstone Associates.

Whitney Hess (@whitneyhess) is an independent UX designer, writer and consultant. She is sought after by a wide range of clients for her expertise in, amongst other areas, integrating social functionality into corporate web design. And if that wasn’t enough to keep her busy, she is also a much in-demand speaker in her field.

Zena Weist (@zenaweist) is a blogger, and digital and media pro with experience providing executive leadership in digital start-ups, account management with interactive agencies, and client-side roles in online brand engagement, project management, social media initiatives and web implementation. In other words, she walks the walk, and Zena is also an autism awareness advocate (how’s that for alliteration?)
UPDATE: Great timing, and proof of her business prowess, Zena has just accepted the position of Director of Social and Interactive Media for H&R Block. Congratulations, Zena!

Social media has changed many aspects of the world of marketing, from word-of-mouth to hyper-local and micro-niches (and other hyphenated terms). Marketing’s become much more a game of precision, rather than blasting out information – Seth Godin calls this the bullhorn.

This, for the most part is true. Except in the world of promotion.

In a recent post, Chris Brogan wrote about the benefit he derives from having a large following (a “bullhorn) on Twitter. As an example, he writes the following:

I get tons of value from Twitter every day. Heck, just today, I mentioned on Twitter that I’ve made the Roger Smith Hotel my exclusive hotel in NYC, and that spurred a new conversation with a hotel in Boston.

I replied with the following:

A Boston hotel reaching out to you versus Jeff Cutler, Bob Collins, Doug Haslam, or any number of other Boston-based social media pros — who are actually in Boston far more often than you (surely because of your work schedule) and regularly throw events in the city — shows that celebrity (the bullhorn) counts more than focused relevance.

The bullhorn still wins.

Of course, this is how it is, but not how it should be.

This hotel in Boston, looking to introduce itself as the place to stay in the city if you’re a social media person — much like the Roger Smith Hotel is in New York — figures attracting Chris’s attention is the way to go. Chris Brogan, by the nature of his business and the demands on his time, can be little more than a bullhorn for this Boston hotel. If Chris writes a tweet, as many as 115,000 people around the world will see it. Not a bad blast.

But 115,000 people aren’t all watching Chris’s twitter feed all at once. And I doubt Chris is going to send multiple tweets, staggered at different times, promoting your hotel (or anything really). He’s just not the kind of guy to do that. So the bullhorn is less effective for the hotel than it would seem.

On the other hand, if they reach out to a handful of local social media personalities (especially those that host regular events) and use the power of more people — with less followers than the bullhorn, but with a more dedicated community — spreading the same message, they would stand a chance for much more consistent promotion of their hotel and what they offer.

This is what the Roger Smith Hotel has done so effectively. When Brian Simpson and company started their campaign to make the Roger Smith the New York hotel social media people run to, they didn’t do it by focusing on a single, big name personality. They did it by reaching out to everyone.

Coming to town for a conference? Check out the Roger Smith!

Having a ladies weekend in the city? Check us out!

Need space to host BarCamp? The Roger Smith’s got it.

Want to grab a drink after work, or some brunch on the weekend? Check out Lily’s at the Roger Smith!

The way I see it, this doesn’t just apply to the hotel in Boston. Or to hotels in particular. Any hospitality-based business can garner larger support by connecting with groups of locally-concentrated social media personalities.

Less bullhorn, more handshake.

For more than three years now, I’ve been writing about Boston-area designers, products and events on DesignBoston. Promoting great people and their work is a great passion of mine, but I feel I can do more for them (and you) by talking about the best social media tools designers – whether architects, interior, or product – can use to help promote their own businesses.

Photo-Sharing Sites

Design engages several senses, but none more than the visual. Whether your work is buildings, rooms, chairs or devices, sharing photos of your work is a great – and easy – way to begin engaging with an active, interested audience. With over 40 million users, Flickr is by far the most popular photo-sharing service, but there are a variety of sites available.

On each of these sites, you can add titles, descriptions, and tags which will help your photos be found by people searching for similar content. For instance, the top result on Google image search for “Paul McCobb” isn’t from Wikipedia, Ebay or some online retailer, but from Norfolk, VA-based graphic designer Amber Karnes, who is very active on Flickr (and a big fan of Mid-Century Modern furniture in her home).

Video-Sharing Sites

Like photo-sharing sites, video let’s you showcase the visual attributes of your work, but adds motion and sound to the mix for an even richer experience. The largest video community, by far, is YouTube, but Vimeo, Viddler, and Blip.tv each have beautiful players, intuitive controls, and growing communities.

Or, you can use a service like Tubemogul and add your video to all of the sites. This way, your video is everywhere eyeballs are, giving you greater chances of connecting with someone looking for what you’re offering.

Blogs

Blogs have been around for years now, but I am still regularly asked about why someone needs to have one. Well, first, it gives you a place to tell your story – share your expertise about your field, show why you’re different than other designers. It also gives you a place to share the photos and videos you’re uploading. And the Search Engine Optimization benefits of blogs are outrageous; the more regularly updated, on-topic content your produce, but better your site will appear in search engine results.

For both this site and DesignBoston, I use WordPress. I like the customization options available with WordPress, and the fact the software is a free download – many web hosts have a one-button install for it, which makes it an easy choice. There are thousands of themes to choose from, or you (or a web designer) can create your own.

If Wordpress isn’t your thing, you can also use Typepad, Tumblr, Posterous, or even Blogger. The main point is to get content up for others to find.

Boston-area designer D Scale uses a blog to promote products that they either make or sell, and both photos and videos are used to great success. I would suggest that D Scale does less “look at this piece” and perhaps describe different situations — small space? blending styles? — and suggest how a piece or two might solve that situation.

Twitter

Twitter is where, more than any other place, you reveal your human side. Twitter takes all that makes up typical social networks — the profiles, the information, the photos and videos — and strips it away to just an avatar, a brief bio, and an input field. People follow you now for your fame or notoriety (although that may happen) but for what you offer them.

There are countless books and websites that you can read to learn how to best use Twitter. My advice: be yourself. If you’re excited about a new design, let everyone know. If you’ve hit a wall, it’s good to share that, too. And be sure to connect with those that you find interesting, so you don’t feel like you’re just shouting into the ether.

Local Interior Designer Charise Glasson uses to Twitter to gain and share design related news and information, and to connect with people both in and out of the design field.

Facebook Fan Pages

Having just passed 350 Million users, Facebook is the social networking community to be on, and if you’re a designer, a Fan Page is what you want. With a Facebook Fan Page, you can create the space on Facebook where both you and your fans can share information, links, photos and more.

Boston-based colorTHEORY have a great Fan Page. Every day, they post an “Inspiration Room of the Day”, as well as photos of projects as they’re completed. colorTHEORY’s fans vote on and leave comments, noting what they do and don’t like about a photo, piece or project.

Of course, I would suggest an integrated strategy using all of these social media tools, as opposed to focusing on just one. If you would like to discuss ways to integrate social media into your overall marketing strategy, please don’t hesitate to give me a shout.

Want to go attend Tweetsgiving Boston? Want to meet, network and socialize with some of the best, brightest minds in social media, marketing, and philanthropy in Boston? Want to help support a great organization, in a beautiful room, and spread gratitude at the start of the holiday season? Want to attend for free?

Aprigo’s got your back.

Nathan Burke, Marketing Manager for the SaaS Data Management company, has generously offered to pay for five people’s tickets to Tweetsgiving Boston.  How’s that for something to be thankful for!

To win one of the tickets, simply leave a comment below. The first five comment win – pretty simple, huh?

Big thanks to Nathan and Aprigo, and I look forward to seeing you at Tweetsgiving!