B-Sides

It’s The Yittle Fings, Part Forty-Three.

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

“What if I ate that whole bag of fruit loops?”

(I held it up to her stomach) “Look - it’s bigger than your tummy!! You couldn’t eat it all!”

“If I did, would I die?”

“No, but you might throw up.”

“Well, at least it would be very colorful throw up.”

“Hey Mommy, I DO love you, but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t tell you, because that would be sinning.”

“Huh?”

“Well, I wouldn’t love you because YOU were sinning, but if I told you I didn’t love you because you were sinning, I would be judging you, so I would be sinning. So I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Oh. Um…good to know.”

Me: “Mommies are wise, aren’t they?”

Ali: “They’re very fun!”

Me: “Yay! I always wanted to be fun!!”

Ali: “I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about my computer.”

Me: “Oh.”

Ali: “You’re fun too, but not as fun as my computer.”

Ali has a slight fascination with the color of her pee. She’s asked many questions about the variations therein, so I’ve explained that if she has yellow tee-tee, this means she needs to drink more water.

Which just increased the fascination.

I now get a daily report of the color changes, and she keeps a cup of water in the bathroom to guzzle down in case the report is yellow.

She wanted to know why she needed to drink so much water, and I explained about how our body is made up almost entirely of water, and if it gets low, we get dehydrated.

This added to her ponderings.

The next day, she ran up to me, confused.

“Mommy, I have yellow tee-tee, but I can still taste the spit in my mouth!! Why do I have yellow tee-tee if I still have water in my body??”

I was enjoying the silence of a car ride. Little did I know, this silence meant that Ali was pondering big things.

“Hey Mommy.”

“Yes?”

“What if when babies pooped, they pooped out stinky computers full of poop?”

Another car ride, another deep thought.

“Boys that have brown skin look like boys. But boys that have beige skin look like girls. And girls that have beige skin look like girls, but girls that have brown skin look like boys.”

“Huh?”

(She then repeats it all…)

“So…Daddy looks like a girl?”

“Yup.”

“Hey Mommy – which Princess do you think has the biggest hips?”

“Which Princess do YOU think has the biggest hips?”

“Probably Rapunzel.”

“Um…do you even know what hips are?”

(she got all embarrassed…) “Yes…”

“Then what are hips?”

“I don’t want to tell you!”

“You have to tell me what hips are if you want me to tell you which princess has the biggest hips.”

(She points to my boobs.)

“Those are definitely not hips, honey.”

Orphaned Photos, Christmas Edition.

2012-01-04T21:21:00.002-06:00

We had our annual gathering with the M family to watch Christmas Vacation. Not my favorite movie, but since it’s with some of my favorite people, it’s tolerable.

Obviously, we sent the kids to bed before the movie started. But not without letting them have a little Christmas cheer of their own – taking turns playing Christmas Angry Birds.

We took the kids to Zoolight Safari. Not that you can tell by looking at us, but it was actually a rather mild night – perfect for walking out of doors.

What can I say – we’re from Alabama. We’re accustomed to keeping our warmth.

Ali and Noah were mesmerized…

although I didn’t get any shots of Noah’s reactions, seeing as I was trying to help him keep his warmth…on the surprisingly mild night.

Noah was fairly thrilled with the whole holiday concept.

He kinda got the whole unwrapping thing. He would at least stay interested for one present before getting utterly and completely bored.

And yes, he was without clothes for a majority of our holiday celebrations…

Because Chris was awfully proud of those Santa diapers.

On Christmas day, we tried to keep him interested in opening his own presents,

But he was drawn away by the enticement of hot chicks.

And the cabinet doors.

And his appetite.

The biggest hit for both kids were the stockings.

Seriously. I have like a hundred thousand more stocking pictures just like those. That entertainment could have lasted All. Day. Long.

But most of all, Noah enjoyed being with his people.

He might have a bit of post-holiday-stress-syndrome now that it’s all over…it’s too quiet around here.

She’s a Brave Woman…

2011-12-22T16:54:00.003-06:00

Noah’s first haircut was compliments of Gramamma.

Noah was perfectly thrilled.

And despite many pre-planned distractions,

Did not exactly get the concept of “Be Still”.

He did offer to help with the combing,

But ultimately, just tried to make it as adventurous of an experience as he possibly could.

And yet, she managed to give a pretty impressive haircut despite his best efforts.

Before – the Mullet of Billy Bob:

After:

A Taste of the Action:

One: A Silent Film.

2011-12-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

Cognitive.

2011-12-06T17:03:00.002-06:00

Noah, almost a year old, is at that fabulous stage of changing and developing in massive steps. Some of it, like the waving, the clapping, and the minimal talking, I totally expected. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly he learned (and was willing to obey) “No” and “Come back”. But other parts completely amaze me – babies know so much more than we give them credit for…

We went with my Mom and Grandmother to a new location of one of our favorite restaurants a month and a half ago. While we were there, Noah and my Grandmother developed this funny head-bobbing game. He played it with everyone he saw for a couple of days, then forgot about it.

Over a month later, we returned to that new location with Chris and Ali. About halfway through our meal, Noah got quiet and started looking all around, looking at the ceiling, and thinking deeply. All of a sudden, his eyes lit up, he looked at me, and he started bobbing his head just like he had learned to do at our last visit.

Mom and Dad were working in the nursery at Church one Sunday. They of course were trying to get Noah to show off for the other nursery workers.

Mom kept trying to get him to say “Gramamma.” Every time she would say, “Say Gramamma!!”, he would look at my dad and say “Pop!!”

Later, Mom said, “Say Pop!!”

Noah smiled really big, and said, “Gramamma!!”

He is really beginning to prefer Chris in a major way. If Chris is holding him and I reach for him, he buries his head in Chris’ shoulder and smiles at me.

However, usually asking him if he wants to go night-night works every time – I’m pretty sure he thinks that means, “You want to go nurse?”

One night, Chris was holding him, and he wouldn’t come to me. Finally, I said, “You want to go night-night?”

He buried his head deeper into Chris’ shoulder, looked back at me, smiled, and said, “Dada!!”

Message received.

We were on our way to dinner one night, and Noah and Ali were busy in the backseat, chatting and playing. I told Chris,

“Oh! I forgot to bring Noah anything to eat!”

“That’s okay. We’ll just buy him a grilled cheese.”

Noah quit babbling in the backseat, got really quiet for a moment, and then started emphatically saying, “More! More! More!!!”

I love this age.

It's the Yittle Fings, Part Forty-Two.

2011-11-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

"Mommy, I'm glad that you had kids. Because I'm really glad that God made me. Because...I just love to talk."

While Ali was calling people to make her United States Map and Legend, she was quite disturbed that she couldn't Skype with Chris' Mom, but had to call her the old-fashioned way. The following conversation ensued...

"Why can't I talk to Nana on my computer?"

"Because Nana doesn't have a computer."

"WHY DOESN'T NANA HAVE A COMPUTER?!?!"

"She just doesn't."

(Sigh) "I guess God just didn't give her a computer."

Heard randomly from the backseat: "Polices, Angels, and Jesus are the only people who help other people."

While we were working on our map, I asked, "What state do you want to go to the most?"

"Nevada."

"Why?"

"Because Nevada is pink on my computer and pink is my favorite color."

After calling for me for a while from her bed... "Sometimes when I'm in my bed and I call you and you don't come, I think you might have been turned to gold."

Camping, Photographically Speaking.

2011-10-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

A few more photos from our awesome camping adventures…

Look Who's Talking.

2011-09-27T08:00:00.000-05:00

Noah started talking about a month ago. Mama, Dada, Pop, Bye-Bye, Hey - the usual suspects. But his favorite word is "More" - in conjunction with any and all food demands.

More means "feed me", but it also means "Take this nasty mess out of my mouth and give me something I like". Both definitions can be found in this video...

The Differing Theories of Beach Hair.

2011-09-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

Her: Glamorous.

Him: Punk Rock.

Me: So-Bad-It-Can’t-Be-Caught-On-Camera.

Nine Months and Fabulous.

2011-09-21T08:00:00.001-05:00

It's the Yittle Fings, Part Forty-One.

2011-09-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

We were out at my parent's house, and Mom and Ali were picking flowers. All the while, Noah and I were getting swarmed by mosquitoes.

Gramamma: "Okay, Ali - let's be all done now. Your Mom and Noah are getting eaten up by mosquitoes."

Ali: "But we can pick some more because that would take FOREVER! Mommy and Noah are big and mosquito's mouths are teeny tiny. They won't be eaten all up for a LONG TIME!!"

Ali, consoling me about turning 30 next month: "Well, you won't die when you're 30. People don't die when they're 30 even because they're old."

Noah laughed. Ali always has an explanation for his doings, so told me, "I think he's pretending that there are clowns in Mississippi."

We got to Gramamma's house one day, and Ali was struck with a memory... "Oh! I had a dream about you, Gramamma! I dreamed that you needed to go tee tee but I had to move all the spoons because they were in the way. And I was eating marshmallows!!"

Ali was in the backseat, and she started making a siren noise. Then she explained, "That tells you there is something that will get you. A tornado or a bear or a monster. Or a bad robot."

The Pompadour.

2011-09-01T16:00:00.001-05:00

What happens the next day after your hair is styled into a Mohawk while still wet…

Shameless Cuteness.

2011-08-31T08:56:00.001-05:00

This is the blog where I allow myself to post whatever I feel like. So I don’t feel guilty for posting these photos of Noah just because he is beautiful. Not one little bit.

Having a Bad Attitude is Not an Easy Job.

2011-08-11T10:08:00.003-05:00

Here it is... The Grandparent Effect in video form. It's gotta stink to get laughed at for your attempts at fit pitching...

It’s All In The Lips.

2011-08-02T14:14:00.001-05:00

Being StormChased.

2011-07-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

The clouds are out to get me.

I don’t know how the rest of the nation has been lately (how have you been?), but Alabama’s weather has just not been quite right since our tornado outbreak.

First, we had a drought – in some crazy twist of irony.

Then, all of a sudden, we were having daily crazy thunderstorms.

And when I say daily, I seriously mean set-your-watch-by-it-daily.

A couple of weeks ago, me and the kids got caught in one of these.

(Obviously, I didn’t set my watch by it.)

We were at the hospital visiting my Grandmother (she’s doing much better now, thank you), and I managed to brilliantly park on the furthest-from-cover end of the top level of the parking deck.

When we left Mammaw’s room, it wasn’t raining.

When we made it to the parking deck, the rain was basically a solid mass of water, coming down horizontally.

Ali is not fond of getting wet.

Noah didn’t know how to close his mouth so he drank at least a gallon of rainwater.

I had no idea how I was going to get me and my two kids and my huge diaper bag and myself to the car without us being carried away by the wind, but somehow we managed.

(Noah is still drying out.)

Also thanks to these daily storms, we have basically been without power the entire month.

Literally, our power went out four times in three weeks, plus at least once while we were on vacation – every time the wind blows, or doesn’t blow, or it rains, or it doesn’t rain, the power goes out.

Living without power and with a four year old and a six month old is not what I signed up for.

But the most fantastic parts of our bizarre weather have been the skies.

These were cell phone pictures, so I can’t imagine how awesome the photos would have been if I’d had my “real” camera with me…

Before the Storm:

After the Storm:

That almost makes it all worth it.

Almost.

Except for the power part – nothing makes that worth it.

Enjoying the Journey.

2011-07-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

He tries… so hard…

He takes a break to pound my arm with his paci, laughing the whole time…

He relocates the paci…

He tries again, oohing and ahhing at his lack of progress…

A little more fun work, taking up long stretches of time, with no frustration or fussing…

Finally, he gets it in.

And then he’s bored.

BabyFacts

2011-06-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

There are some facts about babies that are absolute.

They will always sleep in on the mornings that you have to get up.

They will always get up at 5:30 am on the mornings that you could have slept in.

Their spit up will always miss their spit-up-catching bib and hit your shirt…especially if you just put it on.

If you’re dressed up to go somewhere fancy, they will most certainly award you with the trifecta of baby fluids.

At some point, you will find yourself comforting a baby by letting them ruthlessly gnaw on your fingers… or shoulder…or arm… or even leg…or computer, as mine is doing right now.

In some desperate moment of needing a break, you will convince yourself that waking a baby to change their dirty diaper is a greater sin than leaving them in it until they wake up.

And, at some point, you will most certainly put your baby in a laundry basket – for just a moment of having them trapped in one spot.

Ali

Noah

Good thing babies generally like laundry baskets.

Six Months: A Comparison.

2011-06-24T15:28:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah…I know you’re not supposed to compare your kids.

Noah:

Ali:

No, she wasn’t ever as blond as him.

Yes, the real pier / beach grass background is WAY better than the cheesy portrait-studio-half-painted-half-fake flowers.

Oh – and yes, he most definitely smiles more than she did at this age.

Noah’s Stats:

17 pounds – 55th percentile

27 inches – 85th percentile

Ali at 6 Months:

16.8 pounds – 50th percentile

26.25 inches – 75th percentile

One day my kid’s not-so-tall genes are going to catch up with them – one day.

Photography Practice: Noah.

2011-06-16T09:39:00.001-05:00

Photography Practice: Ali

2011-06-15T09:54:00.001-05:00

It’s the Yittle Fings, Part Forty.

2011-06-08T15:16:00.002-05:00

There’s a lot going on in Ali's head lately.

Thoughts about Ants.

She was staring at the large ant bed at the foot of the tree in our yard….

“Ants built ant beds at the bottom of big trees so that it can – what’s that thing at the top of my bed?? – Oh yeah – a headboard – so that the tree can be the headboard for their ant bed, right? That way they don’t fall right out of their ant bed.”

Thoughts about creatively staying out of trouble.

I caught Ali in an obvious lie, but she was insisting that it wasn’t a lie. We went round and round with the evidence, and finally I said, “I’m having a hard time understanding what you’re saying, but I know you’re lying.”

Ali: “But sometimes a kid tells their parents that ‘you don’t have to understand, you just have to believe.’ Like Lizzie in Tinkerbell told her Daddy about fairies, and she was right! You just have to believe!”

Thoughts about omnipresence.

“We can’t be in two places at once – like we can’t be at Babies R Us AND Sam’s – we can just be at Babies R Us OR Sam’s. But God – He can be at Babies R Us AND Sam’s!!”

And thoughts about Human Suffering.

“Did God make the tornadoes?”

“If God made the tornadoes, then did God mean for people to get hurt by the tornadoes?”

These are the moments that make the Mom Job the hardest – and most rewarding – of all professions.

It's the Yittle Fings, Part Thirty-Nine

2011-05-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

"When was Jesus a baby?"

"Two thousand years ago."

"TWO THOUSAND?!!?!?!? Was that before my nap???"

"How many pieces does this puzzle have?"

"This puzzle has one thousand pieces!!!"

"Whoa!! Is that more than several??"

"Mommy! I'll help you give Noah a bath, because I like to see the circle thingy in the middle of his parts wiggle back and forth when I pour water on it."

"Hey Ali, what would you like to be when you grow up?"

"Um.... I would like to be a shape. No, I would like to be a fairy but a frog that can fly."

When we were on our way to Pratt City to volunteer and give toys to the Tornado Survivors, Ali asked, "Are we going to give the Mommies computers? Because Mommies have to have computers."

"Can God change his clothes all by his self with no help? Because His clothes are very big."

"I bet God has to get a haircut all the time, because He's a boy."

"Will there be lots of beds in Heaven? Because I might be tired when we get there."

"Will there be TVs in heaven? Because I might like to watch a movie."

"Are lambs made out of marshmallows? Because they look soft like them."

"Does God go to sleep? Does he have a huge switch to turn the lights off in heaven?"

The ‘Stache: Outtake.

2011-04-18T14:34:00.001-05:00

For Original Post, Click Here.

My Two Kids.

2011-04-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have said that Noah looks just like Ali.

I totally saw it in their baby pictures…

Noah
Ali

But until this I took this photo, I couldn’t see the current-day resemblance…

..yes, there’s no doubt that they belong together.