GRASS DIRT CORN

Still love Anita, though I was puzzled on some points....

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:08:00 -0400

Still love Anita, though I was puzzled on some points. Here’s what I wrote in response to this video posted on Facebook:

I agree with Billeen. I’m a big fan of your videos and frequently repost, but was surprised this time at some of your analysis. As a mother of two I agree that I can’t imagine, right now, participating in such a thing without a fight - but if it had gone on for generations? Perhaps I couldn’t imagine anything else. People today, especially young people, can’t imagine how certain things can be true, yet historically we can see that human beings have the unfortunate capacity to adapt to stunningly horrific cultural practices.

As for Foxface, I was surprised to hear you both support the characterization of Katniss’s experience as brutal and traumatic, and yet at the same time to say that she wan’t displaying appropriate emotion. I would have different responses to my friend dying and my neighbor dying, and were those deaths to happen under such traumatic circumstances my responses would likely still be different - why is Katniss not allowed to have these differences?

Looking forward to the next video. I haven’t seen the film yet, because I enjoyed the books very much and I don’t want to see any stupid crap that I can’t then un-see if I read the books again. I’m curious to see what you noticed.

I love these. They aren’t the daintiest of shoes, but they...

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 20:50:00 -0400

I love these. They aren’t the daintiest of shoes, but they feel soooooo good. Great to walk in, stand in, and easy to slip on and off if you have a puppy that has to go outside all the time.

Beth is home sick today

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:39:00 -0400

She is curled up on the couch, napping under a sunny window, covered in her favorite fleece blanket and a quilt that Grandma Julie made. Her fever is low, thankfully, and her spirits have been great, though she’s very tired.

This is one of my favorite parts of parenting. I obviously don’t wish my kids sick, but when they come down with fevers or a cold, I love caring for them and don’t find it a burden or a difficulty. I remember how terrible I used to feel when I’d get sick as a kid, and how my Mom used to take care of me, bundling me up, letting me watch cartoons, getting me a bucket when things were really bad, putting cold washcloths on my head. I felt safe and loved, through the hotness and scariness of feeling so awful otherwise.

I love giving that to my kids. It’s wonderful to feel within oneself the capacity to help suffering, however small or routine it might seem, and especially for someone that you love so much. I look ahead to the teen years and I know there will be a lot of suffering that I’ll be powerless to alleviate. But for now she’s just seven years old, and it’s so sweetly fulfilling when some gluten-free pretzels, kisses on the top of your head, a good blanket, a stuffed animal, and orange juice can do so much.

"We have to accept that government is no longer fixing things for us. Whoever’s in charge, whichever..."

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:38:00 -0400

““We have to accept that government is no longer fixing things for us. Whoever’s in charge, whichever bunch of politicians has taken over government, they will not provide the answer,” Ross tells Moyers. “We have to instead take on the burden ourselves. That is a fundamental cultural change, and I think it requires a real examination of our role in political circumstances.””

- I saw this guy today on Bill Moyers (Lent is over, I finally watched some TV today - that’s a whole post on its own). He has a new book, called The Leaderless Revolution, that sounds like it makes real political change, by the people, possible. I can’t wait to read it.

"Next time someone says they feel guilty for owning an iPhone, ask if they were the one who decided..."

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:30:00 -0400

“Next time someone says they feel guilty for owning an iPhone, ask if they were the one who decided to maintain a 73% profit margin while underpaying workers on 18-hour-shifts. Did they decide to roll out new models at breakneck speed? To use conflict minerals and toxic chemicals? I didn’t think so. The most important ethical choice is not the decision to buy an iPhone, but the decision made on how to make, market and sell it.”

- I love Annie Leonard. Her work is empowering and mind-blowing.

The Oregonian article that featured the story of how my friend Megan and I found each other

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:11:00 -0400

People everywhere got to have Free

The hot Freecycle Web site isn’t just a good place to find goods and services, it’s become a community of friends

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

The Oregonian

Nika Carlson

Through the Web site Freecycle, people give and take — literally, freely, liberally. People post a request or offer, hoping someone has what they want or wants what they have. Ask for a woodstove, get it for free. Have too much Splenda on your hands, give it away. Hundreds of frozen chicken necks: offered and taken.

The listserve was created in Arizona in May 2003 to help keep landfills clear, but for some the site has grown beyond its environmental mission. For them, the Internet community of Freecycle has gone from virtual to actual. Politeness and generosity reign.

“It’s an opportunity to accept something with grace,” said Kathy Cruz, who runs a Washington County Freecycle group. “It’s counter to society today. We’re not protected by the convenience of having to pay for it and not having to extend ourselves. It’s a heart-to-heart transaction.”

Freecycle has grown from one group in Arizona to hundreds worldwide. More than 6,000 people subscribe to the Portland group, the biggest Freecycle group by far, and hundreds more subscribe to groups for surrounding areas.

Not everyone has had the spiritual experience Cruz has had with Freecycle, but a special few have made connections or simply slowed down for a minute to say “thank you.”

“There comes a time where if somebody else can help, it’s OK to let them help… Freecycle has redeemed my opinion of the human race.”

-GINA GRIFFIN, WHO FOUND HELP, AND A FRIEND, THROUGH FREECYCLE

Megan Brooks and Hollie Butler are stay-at-home moms. They live three blocks away from each other in tidy Orenco Station. They both shop at New Seasons Market and wonder about the other hip-looking young parents, though they rarely approach them.

“I’ve joked before that trying to find new friends as an adult is hard because you feel like you’re dating,” said Butler, 29.

The women laugh, interrupting and finishing each other’s sentences. They act like old friends, but the met just over six months ago.

They were brought together by spice racks.

They talked three hours the first time they met, when Brooks, 27, picked up the racks Butler offered on Freecycle. They discussed politics, religion, parenting and love lives while their toddler sons played in the living room. Brooks tipped Butler off that she practiced attachment parenting, a style of parenting focusing on creating physical and emotional bonds between parent and child.

“I remember thinking I was so grateful: ‘Another one like me,’ ” Butler said.

The boys shared toast made from homemade bread, and the women made a play date.

Now, they get together several times a week.

“Our level of comfort with each other is so deep, even though our history is really small,” Brooks said.

[Note: Years later, through another kid and several moves, and we are still friends. A couple years ago we got matching tattoos, of spice jars, behind our ears (because our relationship is built on spice and talking).]

At age 40, Gina Griffin is starting over.

Until recently, she was married, with three kids, her own business and her own home. After a nasty divorce, however, she was left with almost nothing. She and her kids took over a fly-ridden trailer in the hills above Wenatchee, Wash., before moving to Oregon to start over. After a brief stint at a friend’s home, they moved into an apartment in Hillsboro they “Goodwilled and garage saled” together. “We had practically nothing and nowhere to put what little we did have,” Griffin said.

In December, Griffin discovered Freecycle. She watched for several months to see how the site worked. She wasn’t used to asking for help. But she had no place to eat and few places to sit, and since dinner was the one of the few times the Griffins regularly gathered, she asked for a table and chairs.

Michelle Brentano, 31, responded to her post. Although Griffin asked for little, Brentano noted that Griffin was a single mom in need of help just like she once was.

She overwhelmed Griffin with boxes of kitchenware, toys, books and homey knickknacks. And while Griffin played with her dogs on the floor of Brentano’s suburban Milwaukie home and the women shared stories about their pasts, Brentano’s son dismantled the dining room table.

In one day, Griffin’s apartment was transformed from mere shelter to a home.

“I have tried to be independent and take care of what I needed and not take advantage of anybody, but there comes a time where if somebody else can help, it’s OK to let them help,” Griffin said. “After everything I’ve been through, Freecycle has redeemed my opinion of the human race.”

Livia Thompson got her dream wedding.

It was a ceremony Thompson, 30, never thought she could afford, with the love she never thought she’d meet, an experience far more important than the prom they both missed in high school.

And even though their first dance was to the radio because of a CD glitch and the ceremony had a few bumps — she had met the minister just that day — she felt like a princess.

It was all because of Freecycle. She asked for wedding decorations and advice, but got much more.

Tammy Myers, an avid Freecycler ordained through the Internet, who had never performed a ceremony before and doesn’t know if she will again, was the minister.

“I did it because she needed someone, and I love Freecycle,” Myers said.

The wedding photographer, Russelle Baltzell, is a single, stay-at-home mom exploring the business of photography. When not snapping digital photos, she tied children’s shoes and looked after Thompson during the reception.

“Between Tammy and Russelle, we probably saved $500,” said Thompson, 30.

Thompson planned the $850 ceremony in a few months. She and her fiance Larry Thompson, 27, paid for it with their tax refund, organized the theme around Freecycled decorations, and were able to afford extras like tuxedos and renting the city of Hillsboro’s River House with the money they saved.

“This is something our family is going to cherish and our grandchildren are going to cherish,” Thompson said, tearing up. “That’s the best thing I’ve gotten from Freecycle. It’s a community.”

Janice Caffey, 77, and Pam Myers, 57, are like family. They call each other Internet mom and Internet daughter, I-mom and I-daughter for short.

They met when Janice’s daughter, Kathy Allen, requested a stuffed kitten on Freecycle. She wanted something nice for her mother to cuddle with, but couldn’t bring it to her. Allen lives in Vernonia, while her mother lives about 45 miles away at Mt. St. Joseph, an assisted living center in Southeast Portland, and they don’t see each other as much as they’d like.

Myers, who lives in Southeast Portland, replied to the ad Allen posted on Freecycle and now visits Caffey every week. “We always have a big hug and a big kiss and tell each other we love each other,” Caffey said.

She brings her movies and treats like candy or doughnuts or KFC, sometimes hunting all over town for an elusive Heath candy bar. Some days she brings her husband, her daughter, her granddaughters, or even her dog, a beagle.

“I just feel she’s an angel sent to us,” Allen said.

Their chance meeting was a lucky one, they say, made even more so by the losses in their lives.

When Myers was in her 30s, her mother died, and Caffey lost a daughter nearly 40 years ago in a car wreck. That daughter would have been 57 is she were alive today, the same age as Myers.

“She calls me her daughter, her daughter’s come back,” Myers said. “She has replaced an important part of my life.”

Several months ago, Caffey was sick to the point she thought she was near death. She attributes her strong recovery in part to Myers.

“I was so lonely up her and she’s brought so much brightness to my life,” she said. “It’s kind of like a little miracle.”

***

Placement: E1, front page of Living section

I just want this to be my avatar photo, on every website...

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 17:16:57 -0400

I just want this to be my avatar photo, on every website everywhere.

Photo

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 17:07:00 -0400

EDWARD JAMES OLMOS HAD HIS ARMS AROUND ME, PEOPLE

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:26:00 -0400

This was supposed to be a post about the Emerald City Comic Con, which I attended on Sunday. I wanted to talk about how much fun I had, how much fun the kids had (look at those awesome painted faces!), how great the people were, how I got to meet George Takei and then bounced excitedly around like a freak afterward (the kids were actually embarrassed), how I got to meet Ryan North (who I love - but I was careful to say I LIKE YOU A LOT so as not to sound like some comic-book-writer stalker or something), how Lisa and Todd got me a plush cat that sings Soft Kitty and Greg bought me a hoodie that says BAZINGA, how I’ve never felt so warmed by all these nerds in one place, so much a part of my own tribe, as I did that day.

How I plan on going back for all three days next year! With a better camera!

How I plan on bringing my own food since gluten-free snacks are hard to come by (big surprise - but the neat thing was how you could walk around with food and no one cared).

How much I love Seattle for having this. But then I love Seattle for so many things.

But all that…all that was put aside when I realized the entire day could be summed up in three words.

EDWARD JAMES OLMOS

1. Admiral Adama. OH YEAH. The man was so hot my TV melted. I had to get a new one, made of platinum and diamonds. Edward James Olmos required me to get a TV made out of platinum and diamonds. He is that beautiful.

2. The guy is nice. And I’m not just saying that because he has rock-hard abs (I totally felt them!). I’m saying that because he works on advocacy projects for the Latino community, he has a life other than acting or being the object of some fangirl’s dorky crush (I am not naming names), he cares about his community and the people around him, and he uses his fame for good, not evil.

3. He has really great abs. At age 65. The man is 65. His abs….they are….amazing. I’m not kidding.

4. He was nominated for an Academy Award for his work in Stand and Deliver. Say what you will about sic-fi geeks and their television, of which Edward is, of course, a demigod, but the man can act.

5. He hugged me. Which doesn’t have to mean anything to you. But it does to me. Every person standing in that line got his full attention for a minute or so, and I was one of them and felt the love. He is a real sweetheart. So say we all.

YES, I HUGGED EDWARD JAMES OLMOS. AND I GOT THE T-SHIRT:

For the gamer girls! This is pretty cute. If you’re not a...

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 13:10:51 -0400

For the gamer girls! This is pretty cute.

If you’re not a gamer girl you can just pretend you aren’t seeing this. No, I don’t play WoW. Why do you ask? What’s WoW?

AN UNCOMFORTABLE ARRANGEMENT This is the next chapter in the...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:27:00 -0400

AN UNCOMFORTABLE ARRANGEMENT

This is the next chapter in the saga of Ollie adjusting to the addition of Bodhi, the Lab puppy. Recent days have seen less nipping from Ollie, we believe based only in the fact that Bodhi is now both heavier and taller. He still growls a lot, though. Bodhi remains sweetly optimistic that eventually he will be Ollie’s BFF.

Ollie loves the couch because he can assert himself. “Hey dope, you might be taller when I’m on the ground, but the humans let me up here, and that makes me bigger than you in so many ways, and one of these is that I am AWESOME. Chew on that, infant.”

We’ve let him have this for awhile. Until today.

This afternoon I was sitting next to Ollie, absent-mindedly petting his side while I worked on some email messages on my laptop, and Bodhi came over and put two paws up on the couch, and then looked up at me, like, I know there is more to this, can you help me out? Ignoring Ollie’s glares, I hoisted him the rest of the way. He took a couple looks around, taking in the new and expansive view, oblivious to the effect this was having on his future BFF. Then he collapsed in that heavy Lab way, with an audible FOOMP.

I continued to ignore Ollie’s pointed stares for the next few minutes. Maybe I’m attributing more sophistication to Ollie than is due, but I’m pretty sure he knew I was ignoring him. I’ll likely hear about this later.

Taken with instagram

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 23:08:22 -0400

Taken with instagram

What’s a girl to wear to Comic Con??

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 14:26:30 -0400

What’s a girl to wear to Comic Con??

Playing around with photo editing is a pleasant way to spend my...

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 17:24:37 -0400

Playing around with photo editing is a pleasant way to spend my break. This is the view outside our building. Today’s oncology massage morning dealt mainly with risk factors for various complications, and how we might avoid them.

At one point yesterday, a classmate brought up the issue of cancer caused by lifestyle choices, and I was in awe of how deftly Tracy handled this, making it clear that yes, there can certainly be lifestyle choices that may contribute to a cancer risk, but there are a great, great many reasons one might have cancer and we as therapists are absolutely not here to either judge our clients or to play around with idle and uninformed conjecture on the source of theirs. Cancer happens for so many reasons, and in most cases we can’t know or speculate why someone has it.

I agree with her, and was livid that this was even brought up, and yet all morning while sitting there in my seat hearing her lecture on complications, I found myself making this mental list of all the things I would do from now on to reduce cancer risk. I will eat healthier, I will exercise more, I will buy organic food, I will buy cleansers found soaps without carcinogens, I will….

I finally had to get up to use the restroom (eighteen refills of the water bottle will do that), and while walking out to the lobby, this giant light-filled space, I became aware of how hunched over I was, how tense were my shoulders, how my feet slapped the floor because I was hardly bending my joints.

I was afraid.

Pardon my expletive, but this shit is scary. Cancer is scary. Working with cancer patients is not only a constant reminder of compassion, of life, of grace, but also too a reminder that something like one third of us (or more?) will walk this walk at some point in our lives. Cancer touches a great many people, for a great many reasons, and we don’t know when or if or how we might be one of those.

The fear that I think so many people around this topic and this population is simply a reflection of something inside us, that niggling voice that tells us we might not be superhuman, we might not, as my Dad loves to say, “get out of this thing alive”. Even the people who leave cancer behind them, a chapter in their lives that closes while the rest of their life goes on, will eventually die. All the organic vegetables in the world will not keep you from getting old, getting sick, and passing on.

It’s deeper than this, of course. It always is. Cancer is also scary because the most frightening thing we can imagine outside of our own suffering is the suffering of someone we love, and for many of us the latter is worse. Listening to Tracy tell some of these stories is very difficult, and even while she has such composure, I know her heart is a deep, deep well. This fact is everywhere in her writing and her descriptions of how she does her work.

And therein lies my own niggling fear; I can cope, I hope, with the feelings of fear that might rise up and pass through me in doing this work, but the attachment I will feel to my clients, the love I will feel….my hope is that I can funnel this into compassionate touch, and not into worry. That I can do my job safely and well. That I can be there.

Yogurt and granola. I'm tired.

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 03:59:00 -0400

This work is not about healing others.
We can’t heal another human being.
We can only heal ourselves
until our presence is healing.
–Irene Smith,
Founder, Service through Touch

Today was the first day of the oncology massage workshop I’ve been looking forward to for the last six months. Tracy Walton is one of the best presenters I’ve ever taken a class from, and I’m so grateful to be doing this. At the same time, it’s also stressful learning about cancer all day (please save your sympathy for the dear folks who live with actual cancer all day), and I felt a bit drained this evening.

Greg and I went to Ballard Market to get some more Luna Protein bars. I love those things. While I was there, my exhaustion forced me (forced! I tell you!) to get some soy yogurt and some of this crazy granola.

It’s way too good, which means it’s bad. Probably full of sugar or fat or both. It’s peanut butter granola with chocolate chunks, which is basically a pathetic way of trying to eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and pretend you’re doing something good for you. I put it in the yogurt, an important part of this charade (Yogurt Is Healthy).

We gave one of my classmates a ride home tonight. Bodhi was in my lap in the front seat, this mammoth puppy, and every so often he would attempt to eat my hand, and I would shriek in pain and threaten to throw him out the window. My classmate said that her friend is a dog trainer, and he suggests that when a puppy bites you, you shove your hand into their mouths even more, the You-Want-It-You-Got-It discipline method (I’ll use this later when Miles asks for a car; “as long as you spend the next two and a half years driving your sister around”).

So I’m sitting there trying to eat my yogurt, picking out the granola and leaving all the chocolate chunks at the bottom, with this dorky happy anticipation of when I would eat them at the end, and Greg was making me laugh, and like every five minutes I’d lean down to pet our dopey Labrador who would chew painfully on my fingers, at which point I’d shove my hand in his mouth and he’d make this GACK face, and then let my hand go with this utterly stupefied expression, like GEEZ LADY, WHAT WAS THAT?, and something about the whole scene just melted all the tension away.

I got to the end of the bowl, and ate my chocolate chunks.

Did you ever eat Lucky Charms as a kid, eating all the alphabet letters and then saving the marshmallow charms for the end? One big disgusting mouthful of sugar and artificial flavors? Remember how sweet that was? Yeah this yogurt and granola thing is way better than that. You should totally try it.

Photo

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 10:00:00 -0400

Going through some old photos today, found this one from August...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:44:00 -0400

Going through some old photos today, found this one from August of 2002, me feeding Miles in the NICU after his harrowing birth (and seizures, and organ failure….). I remember how he used to staaaaaaare at me, this little thing, like he was in awe of me. And! How he would turn his head whenever Greg said anything, that familiar deep voice that he somehow recognized even from outside the womb and with (what we would soon find) a significant hearing loss. I loved how he’d do that.

Once, when Miles was little, I told him about how kangaroo mothers love their babies so much they keep them in their pockets. And he asked, “Did you keep me in your pocket?”

“I kept you in my heart.”

Still do.

"The most effective way to do it, is to do it."

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:10:00 -0400

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.”

- Amelia Earhart

Cheeky monkeys (Taken with instagram)

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:09:55 -0400

Cheeky monkeys (Taken with instagram)

Beth’s first Sounders game! (Taken with instagram)

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 00:05:12 -0400

Beth’s first Sounders game! (Taken with instagram)