A WRITER’S JOURNEY: Part 5

Brandon Layng — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:43:42 +0000

A WRITER’S JOURNEY: Part 5 – “I Do”

I endeavour to write these entries on writing and I’ll apologize in advance if this one seems to wander into the realm of marriage counselling. One thing you have to remember is when I sit to put down these words I do so from my own experiences, which means some points apply, some don’t and others will have pieces that fit you, the reader, while the rest is horse-pucky. Beneath every fiction is the fact of a writer and facts are subjective to viewpoint.

I’ve been writing since I was a kid. Not much more than an occasional hobby filled with hopes and aspirations but little confidence. I wrote at most a couple of stories a year, explored hundreds of ideas a lot of them derivative from the media and I was having fun in a tough sort of way. In grade five I decided I wanted to be a writer. That clung for a long time. It was an idea; a semi-intelligent, passionate, young man’s idea without enough motivation. I believe I sensed that all of the ingredients were there to make a real go of it – most especially in my late teens to early twenties – and I just needed a catalyst.

Fifteen stories (an equal amount of poems) saved from my first writings, gathered into a binder sat beneath the stainless steel table in my booth at the tattoo parlour; waiting. At home I had a floppy disk with half a novel saved on it. I had spent two years struggling with it and had only managed thirty-five thousand words or so. At the time I had no real concept of how long the average novel was in terms of word counts and didn’t find out until six months later that it was roughly eighty to a hundred thousand. You see at the time that binder was hidden under the table while I was drawing Canada flags and Old English lettering on people the concept of being a published writer was still sludging its way through pipes and sewers in my mind. The farthest I had gone in pursuit of this dream was to e-mail off an utter waste of electronic paper I called a query letter, sent to a publisher I found in the back of a Writer’s Digest magazine. I wanted to know if they were interested in a novel like the one I was sweating over. It was embarrassing (now that I look back on it, it’s actually humiliating, since I didn’t have a completed novel or any clue how to write a query letter) and the very kind, patient, painful rejection letter came after a month to explain that they were not interested in genre works but they wished me luck in finding a home for it. I was drowning in the reality of how little I knew about the business of writing. I was ready to give up. At home there was little to no encouragement to keep trying. Nobody even wanted to read my stuff since high school and the praise of one of my fellow students who said a story of mine was like a combination of Stephen King and Ernie Hemingway was quickly fading.

I was single at the time, a few months fresh from a horrible first marriage that had left me traumatized and in the process of fighting for custody of my son. It was a time for learning a lot of hard lessons; about relationships, mistakes and what it meant to be a father. There was too much on my plate to keep the hope alive that I might one day see my words in print beyond a grade eight school paper and a couple of high school Writer’s Club anthologies. So the binder was forgotten (along with the reason I had brought it into the shop in the first place) and the floppy disk gathered dust on the shelf next to the computer that hadn’t been turned on in months. They waited and I got on as best I could with life.

Writing this I remember now that the binder showed up after she came in.

She wanted to get a tattoo of an angel on the back of her neck. A spark lit up somewhere in the seldom tread back roads of my mind, thinking of my book, titled “Angel’s Crossing”. Her boyfriend was busy telling me his idea to get a Celtic cross on his arm and I was busy trying not to let it be too obvious that I thought the tall beauty standing next to him was more incredible than the divine being she wanted inked on her body. I was captivated by her. I had a great deal of difficulty keeping my eyes off of her. She made me want to do something I hadn’t done since grade school… write a love poem. The appointment was scribbled in the book meant for that purpose and when the day came I did their tattoos. While I was working on hers, she had a bit of a rough time with it and I wanted to stop and just hold her. I could smell the spring scent of her hair, the salty tear on her cheek and feel the warmth of her trembling body so close to mine I could barely concentrate on the task at hand. There was a vague sensation of increasing affection for her I couldn’t deny. It sounds sappy, right? I know, but I wanted her. Life doesn’t work that way

Six months later after a few more appointments for new tattoos, touch-ups and brief glimpses at the mall as she came into my world, never letting me forget her. I managed to do brief stints of writing after each time I saw her. A few months went by and I didn’t see her, when she finally came in again my happiness must have been as transparent as bottled water because apparently her sister said she thought I liked this wonderful girl named Stephanie that I had secretly begun thinking of as my angel. When the time came for her next session I wanted desperately to ask for her phone number. I’m a decent guy and I resisted the urge out of respect for the fact she was in a relationship. We waited for the needles to sterilize and she let slip she was single, had been the last time she was in the shop with her ex, and the feeling of joy I felt was indescribable. With the tattoo machine buzzing in my ear the conversation began with nervous starts and stops on both our parts until she asked a series of questions.

What else do you do besides tattoos?

“I take my son to the zoo,” I said. She offered to come sometime and keep me company.

“I’m going to a tattoo convention during the summer,” I added. She suggested she come with me so she could show off my work.

“I write,” I finished and she asked if she could read some. This was the moment the binder had been waiting for. She was more than happy to take it home with her to read and I found out later during a ten hour phone (yes, I got up the nerve to ask for her number) conversation that she had begun reading right away.

After so long, I had finally found my ideal reader. The person I needed to imagine reading my work; laughing at the parts I meant to be funny, crying when a character died and every other emotion I hoped to illicit with the words I had strung together. As Stephen King basically says in On Writing, the ideal reader is usually identified on the dedication page of any book and their common name is husband or wife.

My wife has affected my writing in ways beyond repayment. She was the first person to encourage me and not let me give up on the dream. Telling me after each story that it was worth something and I needed to submit it. I wouldn’t have the publications I have without her. It is my belief that every writer has a person like this in their lives eventually, you know them as soon as you set eyes on them, they give you a reason to create stories from the worlds living in your head and by the same token, a reason to come back from those worlds. The very act of meeting them tends to be a story in itself.

Fair warning, here’s where the marriage counselling bit comes in:

For every hour that you slave at your computer knocking out novels and shorter pieces, they are sacrificing for you. Whether it be by getting the kids in bed or doing the dishes from supper or by giving up time they wanted to spend with you talking about their day; they are sacrificing. They are doing it out of love and your written word is that much better because of it. My advice is to not forget this and to show you appreciate it by stopping when the writing is at a good point to do so and leave your office (or where ever you right, even if it is the bathroom) and take the time to give a big hug, a kiss and say thank you for believing in your dream. Take a weekend off to go camping or take a night off to see a movie. Not a whole Hell of a lot of writing gets done between court dates and divorce lawyers.

So why are you still sitting at your computer? Go spend time with your ideal reader. If they are at work drop them a call to quickly say I love you and if you haven’t done so yet, get down that aisle like I did and say, “I will”. You can say “I do” if that’s your kind of thing.

Have a goodnight readers,

Brandon

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TBW2 Interview with Jennifer Brozek

Brandon Layng — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:23:36 +0000

THE BEAST WITHIN 2: Interview with Jennifer Brozek, Editor

interview by Brandon Layng

Jennifer Brozek is steadily growing momentum as a writer and editor. Creator and editor of semi-pro ‘zine, The Edge of Propinquity, she has also helmed three other anthologies with more on the way, including Graveside Tales’ The Beast Within 2. Doing freelance writing for RPG companies like Margaret Weis Productions, Savage Mojo, and Rogue Games, among others, she’s won awards for her work. Awards that include: 2010 Origins Award for Best Roleplaying Game Supplement and the 2009 Australian Shadows Award for Edited Publication. Add onto that more than twenty-five published short stories, a position as submissions editor for the Apex Book Company, memberships in Broad Universe, SFWA, HWA, and you’ve got yourself one busy woman with a load of talent waiting to be mined for creative gold.

Will she bring the beast out in GST’s sequel to its were-creature anthology, The Beast Within? Let’s not put too much pressure on her but with Grants Pass and Close Encounters of the Urban Kind anthologies under her belt, she’s set the bar of expectations high. We’re sure that after this interview your mind will rest at ease; Jennifer Brozek will give you readers the kind of quality dark fiction you’ve come to expect from Graveside Tales.

GST: Jennifer, welcome to Graveside Tales. We’ll start with a brief introduction of how you came to be involved in The Beast Within 2.

JB: A friend of mine mentioned seeing the exit post of the previous editor and asked me if I would consider stepping in. I looked at the anthology and the publisher, and then talked to a couple of people before I decided it could fit my schedule and it might be fun to work on. After that, I contacted Dale and offered my services. After a lot of talking—because, really, it is a job interview between an editor and the publisher—I was hired on.

GST: How does your approach to the sequel differ from the first anthology?

JB: Most anthologies I work on are broken up into sections. The stories I choose for the anthology will decide what these sections will be. I've already toyed with the idea of "Predator" and "Prey" or some sort of pseudo timeline. I like to give an overall arc to an anthology that makes it more than the sum of its parts. I think this sectioning and arc formatting will be the main difference.

GST: Your past work has covered a broad range of speculative subjects from outer space haunting to urban legends. The publishers you’ve contributed work to is just as diverse with fiction in anthologies and magazines like The World is Dead by Permuted Press, Zombonauts by Library of the Living Dead Press, Stalking the Wild Hare by Walkabout Publishing and Apex Digest. How has going through such a variety of submission guidelines prepared you for the submission process put in place for TBW2?

JB: As an author, I know what I need to know to submit a story. As an editor, I know what I want to make the submission process as painless as possible for me. I am detailed and direct in what I want from my authors. This comes from spending a lot of time reviewing submission guidelines (which really are more like rules) and making sure I have followed each one before I hit the send button. Experience with unclear guidelines (both as author and editor) has taught me to be as clear and concise as possible.

GST: You have done considerable writing in the field of RPGs. Adding your talents to Cortex, Colonial Gothic and several others by Margaret Weis Productions. What brought you to the worlds of roleplaying?

JB: I used to spend a lot of time online roleplaying. This allowed me to meet editors in a social context who liked my writing. I started out writing RPG reviews for Black Gate magazine and RPG fiction for Campaign magazine. When the editor of Campaign magazine, Sean Everette, was hired by Margaret Weis Productions, he immediately hired me as one of his authors because I had proven myself to be an author who worked to spec, was technically correct and always turned my work in on time.

GST: A unique e-zine, The Edge of Propinquity, was your creation, so what was the inspiration?

JB: Originally, The Edge of Propinquity was going to be an online game run by rumours and a forum. When that did not pan out, I was not willing to let the URL go and it occurred to me that I could put together an online magazine set in a world that I liked to read: modern gothic horror about a hidden world within mundane society. I like the idea of being able to walk out my front door and imaging one of the TEoP stories happening around me without me knowing it. So, I found my universe authors, looked at my budget and determined I could pay monthly guest authors and my e-zine was born. We are in our fifth year of publication.

GST: What are some of the challenges you face in putting out a monthly publication?

JB: The biggest problem is getting all of the authors to give me all of their required work (story/image) on time. I understand that life happens but I want my stories and I want them on time so I have time to look them over, edit them and prep them for publication. That is the biggest challenge. The second biggest is reading slush. I am not willing to pawn that off on anyone else yet. So, I read all of the stories that come in every month to see if any suite TEoP's genre and yearly theme. TEoP is my zine and the stories must please me.

GST: Looking into a crystal ball, what do you see in your future? What publications can readers hope to enjoy from the mind of Jennifer Brozek in the coming year?

JB: In the coming year, I have four more already scheduled anthologies in various states of progress from manuscript to publisher to getting together the invitation list. On the short story side, I have some weird west, some sci-fi erotica and some horror already lined up—none of which I can actually name at this time. On the RPG front, I have two books from Savage Mojo coming out: Shanghai Vampocalypse and Covert Ops. I've got three more PDF settings for Colonial Gothic by Rogue Games scheduled and then a whole host of other fiction that I cannot talk about until contracts are signed. Finally, I have a regular monthly RPG insider's column on Geek's Dream Girl called Dice & Deadlines. I like to stay busy.

GST: Keeping with the theme of The Beast Within 2, let’s have a bit of fun. If you could be any kind of were-beast, what would it be? And to add a challenge, we know you have cats of your own and also help out a local animal shelter with rescue felines, so it has to be something other than a cat.

JB: I think I would like to be a were-bird of prey. Like a peregrine falcon. Something fast, sleek and deadly. I like the idea of being able to fly, as well.

GST: Thank you Jennifer for joining us for this interview. We can’t wait to read the new anthology.

JB: Thank you for having me. It has been a pleasure.

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Huffer by Michael J. Hultquist Cover and Synopsis

Dale — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 23:00:48 +0000

Coming the beginning of October Huffer by Michael J. Hultquist.

Here is a sneak peek at the cover and synopsis

After huffing paint for too many years, Gus Gerring’s life is thrown into turmoil when a Hawaiian-shirt clad entity he dubs “Satan” appears and imbues him with the power to see “evil” in other people, along with the choice to do something about it. But will knowing the evil deeds of his loved ones prove too much to take, even for Gus’s chemical-ravaged mind? Especially when it comes to learning what his mother and her boyfriend had to do with his father’s suicide, why his Uncle Ham is killing hookers down in Texas, or why the cops are beating a path to his door to get next week’s lotto numbers. To Gus, it all seems like one horrible, huffing-induced nightmare. But is it?

Michael J. Hultquist is a screenwriter, author, and total chili head.

Pierce/Williams Entertainment produced his script VICTIM in 2009 and his script, THE KILLING GAME finished production in 2010, starring Samuel L. Jackson, Kellan Lutz, and Daniel Dae Kim. He is represented by Zero Gravity Management. Check out Mike at IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2478416/.

His short fiction has appeared in a number of anthologies. He is also a co-editor of Harvest Hill: 31 Tales of Halloween Horror.

Cover by Stephen Blundell

Stephen has been working freelance for the last ten years, mainly within Australia. Within the last two years I have illustrated covers and interior art for Permuted Press, Graveside Tales and Lachesis Publishing.

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Time Machine of Terror! 1990: Blather, Rinse, Repeat

Mark McLaughlin — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 02:37:55 +0000

Time Machine of Terror! 1990: Blather, Rinse, Repeat

by Mark McLaughlin

Last week, I visited my favorite little shoppe of horrors and delights, PROFESSOR LaGUNGO’S EXOTIC ARTIFACTS & ASSORTED MYSTIC COLLECTIBLES, to see if my good friend, strange but friendly Professor LaGungo, could provide me with a new seat cover for the Time Machine of Terror!, or TMOT! for short.

I’d bought the TMOT! from the Professor, so I figured he’d have extra seat covers in stock. The seat is rather large (it’s an ancient Lemurian throne, actually) so obviously, one can’t find covers of the right size and shape in today’s stores.

For those of you reading this column for the first time, the TMOT! is a time machine that looks like a clock with big batwings. It originally came from Lemuria and was already busted when the Professor found it. He fixed it with parts from old TV sets and movie projectors, and that limited its time-travel capabilities.

Now the TMOT! can only go back in the time into the dimension of old TV programs and movies. And since I like horror shows, I usually only visit those parts of the dimension. I’d ruined the old seat cover by spilling coffee on it – not once, but several times. The cover was made of an odd sort of blue suede-like material and it stained easily. I hoped the Professor might have one in stock made of a more stain-resistant material.

After I told the Professor my request, I was relieved to see a big grin spread across his mummylike face. “Oh yes, I have plenty of extras – I’ll let you have two for, say, fifteen bucks,” he said. “The ancient Lemurians, who invented the machine, used to drink guukuu juice when they time-traveled, and that stuff stains worse than motor oil or even tar. So, they always had extra seat covers on hand. I’ll give you a couple made from python skin – that ought to withstand any amount of coffee you might spill.”

“What’s guukuu juice?” I asked. “Do you sell that, too?”

The Professor laughed, a sound reminiscent of the merry creaking of a rusty cemetery gate. “Oh, heavens no!” he said. “It’s made from a secret and fairly evil recipe, and it’s far too extreme a beverage for today’s consumers. The Lemurians were big and ox-like, and could drink full-strength guukuu juice without any ill effects. That stuff would probably give today’s average person a heart attack or a psychotic episode. Plus, it puts the drinker in mental contact with strange trans-dimensional deities, and a person really shouldn’t be doing that while they’re driving.”

The Professor shuffled off to the back of the shoppe and returned a few minutes later with the reptile-based seat covers. “So what year are you going to visit next?” he said.

“I was thinking of going to –”

“You really ought to visit 1990 next,” the Professor said. Apparently, I thought at the time, he’d just asked me so he could give me a suggestion.

“I must confess,” he said, “I only asked so I could give you a suggestion! Yes, 1990 really is the year you ought to visit next. That particular year was like a bottle of shampoo given the power to talk: all blather, rinse, repeat.”

“I don’t quite understand…”

The Professor shrugged his thin shoulders and rolled his watery eyes. “All the more reason for you to visit 1990! You’ll understand once you’ve spent some time there in the machine.”

So per usual, I did as the Professor suggested, because when it comes to the TMOT!, he has never steered me wrong. Before I tell you what I observed back in 1990, let’s take a look at some of the important dates from that year…

On January 18, Mayor Marion Barry of Washington, D.C. was arrested by the FBI for drug possession.

On January 29, the trial began for the Exxon Valdez captain, Joseph Hazelwood. At that time, the Exxon Valdez incident was the second worst oil spill in America’s history. Sadly, the world still hasn’t figured out how to avoid huge, devastating oil spills.

On February 11, Nelson Mandela was released from a South African prison after 27 years of incarceration.

On March 9, Antonia Novello — American’s first female, and Hispanic, Surgeon General – was sworn in.

On March 15, Mikhail Gorbachev was elected as the Soviet Union’s first president.

On March 26, DRIVING MISS DAISY won Best Picture at the Academy Awards.

On April 24, the Hubble Space Telescope was launched and placed in orbit via the Space Shuttle Discovery.

On May 17, the World Health Organization officially decided that homosexuality was not a disease.

On June 21, an earthquake resulted in the death of thousands in Iran. The next day, an underwater volcano erupted in the Philippines.

On July 16, another earthquake killed more than 1,600 in the Philippines.

On July 26, the Americans with Disabilities Act was signed into law.

On August 2, Iraq invaded Kuwait, an international development which led to the Gulf War.

On August 6, the United Nations punished Iraq for invading Kuwait by issuing a global trade embargo against the invaders.

On August 28, a tornado tore through the Chicago metro area, killing 29 people.

On September 11, U.S. President George W. Bush threatened to use force in removing the Iraqi military from Kuwait.

On October 3, East and West Germany reunited.

On October 15, Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev was presented with the Nobel Peace Prize for making great strides in global harmony.

On November 1, Mary Robinson was named as Ireland’s first female president.

On November 12, Japanese emperor Akihito took power.

On December 1, a major step was made in building a tunnel beneath the English Channel. Tunnel workers from both ends met at a midpoint underground.

On December 16, Haiti elected president Jean-Bertrand Aristide after years of military oppression.

Actress Rachel Wood was born in 1990, and celebrity deaths that year included actresses Ava Gardner, Greta Garbo, and Capucine; actors Terry-Thomas and Rex Harrison; filmmaker Jim Henson; writers Irving Wallace and Roald Dahl; fashion designer Halston; conductor Leonard Bernstein; and singers Sarah Vaughan, Stiv Bators, and Sammy Davis Jr.

1990 was an especially sad year for horror enthusiasts, since it marked the passing of both Joseph Payne Brennan and Delphine Seyrig. Brennan was the author of many classic short stories, while Seyrig was the compelling French actress who played Elizabeth Bathory in the stylish cult film, DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS.

Also, David White, who played marketing madman Larry Tate on TV’s BEWITCHED, went to that great ad agency in the sky in 1990.

Speaking of TV, I took the TMOT! for a quick spin through that section of the dimension and saw that 1990 marked the premiere of TWIN PEAKS, probably the most surreal evening show ever to hit the networks. Fantastical children’s shows THE SMURFS and PEE-WEE’S PLAYHOUSE both ended in 1990, but happily, kids found solace in Tiny Toon Adventures, a new cartoon centered around the fictional school of Acme Looniversity. The school’s faculty consisted mostly of Warner Bros. cartoon characters teaching younger toons how to be funny.

I then steered the TMOT! toward the horror movies, my favorite sector of that strange and entertaining dimension.

I soon noticed that sequels were everywhere. The first one I saw was BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR, also advertised as H.P. LOVECRAFT’S BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR. True, Lovecraft wrote the short story upon which the RE-ANIMATOR MOVIES are based. But a bride, a la BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, was never part of Lovecraft’s vision.

Lovecraft’s characters lived in a macabre universe where bookish male scholars played fast and loose with the forces of evil, visiting strange graveyards and reading rare, forbidden tomes. But they weren’t the type that went on dates or held down day jobs. They rarely thought about sex or socializing or anything even remotely romantic or domestic.

One would be hard-pressed to give Lovecraft ownership of that movie’s bride. No Lovecraftian hero ever would have stitched up a patchwork lady – not for sex or even companionship. But, a movie has to be marketable, and that usually means tacking a romance onto storylines.

Often movies have to add some window-dressing to pump up ticket sales. If it’s not a romance or a sex scene, it might be a fight scene, a car chase, a few glimpses of T & A, or a smattering … or should I say, splattering? … of gore-loaded special effects.

I moved on to another movie, BASKET CASE 2. The original BASKET CASE told the darkly humorous tale of conjoined twins, surgically separated at birth. One twin is a typical, normally proportioned, good-looking guy, while the other is a twisted, insane, grotesque runt who lives in a basket.

The horror highlight of the original movie was the horrid little twin, so the sequel upped the ante by adding a veritable menagerie of freaks, big and small. I looked around some more and saw even more sequels, including CHILD’S PLAY 2, PREDATOR 2, EXORCIST III, and LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3.

A word about horror sequels: In many cases, they are simply exaggerated versions of the original movie. If the first movie was about three zombies and one werewolf attacking ten people, and it made money, the money-hungry producers will quickly churn out a sequel with SIX zombies and TWO werewolves attacking TWENTY people. Ooooh, DOUBLE the terror!

Or, sometimes the sequel is essentially the same story as the first, but with a bigger budget, better actors and a swankier location. In those cases, the sequel may be a bit more entertaining because of those budgetary enhancements.

1990 was a year of big changes and big attitude, and a fast-paced world needs fast-paced entertainment. The horror movie industry was popping like a hyperactive popcorn-popper set on TURBO-POP. As noted above, many of the sequels produced were simply splashy rehashes of their predecessors: all blather, rinse, repeat, like the Professor said.

But hey, they were entertaining and they kept people zipping off to theatres for more nibbles of mind-candy. Many sequels weren’t really necessary – they weren’t adding onto classic stories that simply cried out for additional chapters. Still, it’s not like all NON-movie products are absolutely necessary. The world doesn’t need half the stuff cluttering up the shelves of most stores and the lives of most Americans. People could live without fake nails and fabric softener and house pets and air freshener and designer sunglasses and hair mousse and skin bronzer and heck, even the Internet.

But, entertaining luxuries are the lubricants that help smooth over life’s rough spots. I, for one, buy and use air freshener and hair mousse, and I think of my house pets as family members, and I love the Internet, and obviously you do too, or else you wouldn’t be reading this.

1990 wasn’t simply one big sequel factory. It also included some original movies. In REPOSSESSED, Linda Blair reprised her EXORCIST role as the little possessed girl – for laughs! TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE was an anthology-format film that featured Deborah Harry as a cannibalistic witch who listens to a little boy as he spins horror tales for her amusement – a delay tactic so she won’t eat him.

DEF BY TEMPTATION was a fun urban horror story about a sexy succubus testing the faith of horny young men. NIGHTBREED waxed rhapsodic about a secret underground world of supernatural creatures, while TREMORS offered sub-surface dwellers of a different stripe: gigantic meat-eating mutant worms.

POPCORN served up an affectionate homage to B-movie shockers of days gone by, while almost presenting a modern-day slasher plot. A disguised killer does his dirty work throughout a retro B-movie film festival, but the real stars of POPCORN are the clever movies-within-the-movie.

As I’m fond of saying, time flies when you’re driving a giant bat-winged clock. Soon it was time to go home, so I steered the TMOT! back to present-day reality.

When I returned home, I made a mental note to buy some new bit of beloved clutter from Professor LaGungo’s shoppe of rare oddities and odd rarities, the next time I went there. Perhaps I’d get Caligula’s toothpick of pure lead (no wonder he went mad) or Elizabeth Bathory’s blood-red, haunted loofah sponge.

Or, perhaps he’d have some new bit of madness on sale. One never knows when it comes to PROFESSOR LaGUNGO’S EXOTIC ARTIFACTS & ASSORTED MYSTIC COLLECTIBLES.

– End –

Mark McLaughlin's fiction, nonfiction and poetry have appeared in hundreds of magazines, anthologies, and websites, including The Living Dead 2, Cemetery Dance, Midnight Premiere, Fangoria, Horror Garage, Shroud Magazine, ChiZine.com, Galaxy, and two volumes each of The Best of the Rest, The Best of HorrorFind, and The Year's Best Horror Stories, as well as The Book of All Flesh, its two companion volumes, and The Best of All Flesh. Collections of his fiction include Death Creeps in on Velvet Paws (his new ebook from MerchantsKeep.com), Twisted Tales for Sick Puppies, Raising Demons for Fun and Profit, Slime After Slime, Pickman’s Motel, Motivational Shrieker, and At the Foothills of Frenzy (with co-authors Shane Ryan Staley and Brian Knight). He is the co-author, with Rain Graves and David Niall Wilson, of the poetry collection The Gossamer Eye, which won a Bram Stoker Award for Poetry. His collaborative novel with Michael McCarty, Monster Behind the Wheel, was a Bram Stoker Award Finalist for Best First Novel. Visit Mark on the web at www.youtube.com/mcmonsterbook, www.myspace.com/monsterbook,and www.facebook.com/MarkMcLaughlinMedia.

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Graveside Tales Now Officially Available On Kindle

Dale — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 19:17:53 +0000

Howdy Gravediggers,

We wanted to let you know that all of our books are now available at the Kindle store.

Doppelganger (ASIN: B0041D9EZO) Byron Starr $ 3.99
Everdead (ASIN: B0041D9F12) Rio Youers $ 3.99
Fried! Fast Food, Slow Deaths (ASIN: B003X4M6QG) Joel A. Sutherland & Colleen Morris $ 3.99
HAWG (ASIN: B003X97620) Steven Shrewsbury $ 3.99
Harvest Hill (ASIN: B0042HNBQC) Michael J. Hultquist & Douglas Hutcheson $ 4.99
Sideshow PI: The Devil's Garden (ASIN: B0042AMDHW) Nathaniel Lambert & Kevin Sweeney $ 3.99
Skull Full of Kisses (ASIN: B0042AMDYA) Michael West $ 3.99
The Beast Within (ASIN: B0042AME1C) Matt Hults

In the near future will be able to find our ebooks at GravesideBooks, Smashwords, Google, Scribed, and WOWIO

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OPEN TO SUBMISSIONS

Dale — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 17:45:19 +0000

OPEN TO SUBMISSIONS SEPTEMBER 1, 2010 – NOVEMBER 30, 2010

Novellas/Novels

What we want:

Graveside Tales seeks chilling, character-driven stories of the Supernatural, particularly those set in the Lycanthrope universe. Psychological suspense, “killers on the loose”, and cross-genre blends (Paranormal Romance or dark fiction containing SciFi, Historical and/or Fantasy elements) are welcome provided the subject matter is original and the focus remains on horror. Gore, sex, or controversial content is okay as long as its inclusion is essential to the story and not incorporated solely for shock value.

We will also consider publishing backlisted material. If you are an author who has a backlisted titles you would like to see republished, please query us at submissions@gravesidetales.com with "Backlist" and the title of the book in the subject line.

See – Submissions for complete guidelines

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Submissions ...

OTR – Incredible But True

Dale — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 22:04:00 +0000

Incredible But True – Ten 3-minute shows.

The Man Who Walked Behind by Incredible But True
Water, Water Everywhere by Incredible But True
Mr Watt's Awakening by Incredible But True
Dead Man's Mirror by Incredible But True
The Man Who Saw Everything by Incredible But True
Human Atmosphere by Incredible But True
The End of David Lang by Incredible But True
What Day Will He Die by Incredible But True
The Playful Spirit by Incredible But True
Beware My Son by Incredible But True

History of the series

This series consisted of 15 minute shows, similar in format to Ripley's Believe It Or Not that had aired from 1930 to 1948. It was hosted/narrated by Ken Nordine and was produced by Unusual Features Syndicate. This syndicated series was heard on the Mutual network during 1950 and 1951 on various days and at various times. For example, according to "The Ultimate History of Network Radio Programming and Guide To All Circulating Shows" by Jay Hickerson, it aired on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9:30 PM from April 17, 1950 through June 5, 1951 and on Saturdays at 5:15 PM from June 30, 1951 through December 22, 1951.

Besides the 15-minute shows, another syndication of 3-minute shows was also produced, again hosted by Ken Nordine.

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A WRITER’S JOURNEY: Part Four

Brandon Layng — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:07:26 +0000

A WRITER’S JOURNEY: Part 4 – Purpose, Everything Has a Purpose.

by Brandon Layng

This most recent installment has been delayed. There are many reasons behind that (and for those who feared that there wasn’t going to be a next one, well this proves there is nothing to fear) and some of those reasons are also the cause of a change of my planned subject for this part. Originally, I was going to write about the value of the ideal reader but I’m delaying that one.

Everything has a purpose and why should a writer be any different.

Even a serial killer has a reason for doing what they do, though they may not understand what it is, it often comes out in the crimes they commit, and without those clues the FBI wouldn’t be able to work up their generic profiles. Writers have a reason for putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboards as well. Horror writers, in some cases, may not be all that different from serial killers when it comes to their motives. I want to take some time to discuss my purpose. And the purpose of this is to get you other writers to look closer at your own reasons for clicking at the keys. We often like to pass off our written creations as ways to pass the time but you shouldn’t sell yourself short.

I lost a grandmother this past week*, with the exception of my wife’s grandmother whom I’ve adopted as my own, this recent loss was my last grandparent. She was my stepmother’s mother but that never stopped her from accepting me as her grandson. In addition, those of you who are readers of my blog know that my own mother is seriously ill with cancer and she has been recovering the last couple of weeks from a serious bout with pneumonia*. These two events have forced me to evaluate a great deal of things including mortality. I was forced to see that time moves too quickly and we, as a species and at times most especially writers, don’t spend enough time with our loved ones. Too quickly their accomplishments can be forgotten in the waves of grief.

A week ago I remembered a pile of note papers I had been storing in the basement that contained the words my mother had deigned to grace the pages with. They are poems she wrote when she was a teenager and when I was a teenager. Almost all of which are unpublished. I asked her about them and if she would like me to submit them for her. I wanted her to see her words published; to see that others thought they were as valuable as I did. Tonight she told me I could do with them as I wished after she was gone. I was a tad disappointed. I asked her, "don’t you want to know that someone accepted them before you are gone?" Her reply was, "I accept me and that’s all I need." She’d taken a creative writing course through the local college when I was younger and I had always thought that she had wanted to be a writer as well. That those poems and stories were left unpublished out of the nagging fear all novice writers have: rejection. Maybe that was part of it but she has no regrets about it. She wrote to spend a few moments of the day with herself, her feelings and for the unadulterated fun of it.

So tonight, I sat, I thought, considered the purpose behind my own writing.

The only thing I’ve truly come to fear in life is death. I fear that I will die having accomplished little outside of being a husband and father. Those are great, except I am an honest and greedy man, wanting to be remembered as a great husband and a father my children can be proud to call Dad. I want to leave an impression on the world and know that I’ve left it a better place. I think we all want that in some way. To not be forgotten after we are gone. Some leave their mark in the form of a fingerprint in the concrete laid for the foundation of a house. I’m a poor manual labourer, I’ve tried and I’m no good at it. So I write and it could be argued I’m no good at that either. Except I enjoy writing in a way that getting the ratio of concrete mix to water just right can’t compare. The sweat, tears and sleepless nights are worth it when I get one line right and I’m happy with the hope that it might leave an impression on the reader that might be remembered in years to come. A hundred years from now I dream of a man or women reading that same line and laughing, smiling, crying or shivering to it because through it they will know some small piece of me and remember it and me in the process. When I hand my wife a copy of a book I’ve written, those words will be in there to remember me by and to know that I was real in a concrete way. Words spoken can easily be forgotten from one generation to another but the written word is something that can be touched and passed on. When I write, I’m laying the foundation of my life, building a house of good and bad memories that generations after me can visit long after I’m gone.

The purpose behind my writing is so I am not forgotten. Every writer has a purpose behind their words and keeping that in perspective will remind them not to give up when the words come a little harder to the page. You may have noticed that several specific words have been repeated during this rambling of mine – the title was not excluded in this – and the reason for this is, is I hope that they will continue to resonate after you’ve finished. That you will not forget them when next you take up your pages to create your worlds. I hope you find inspiration in them.

*This part of AWJ originally appeared over a year ago on my blog. I’ve had time to reflect on the words. I still feel them to be true to this day. This August 28^th will be the year anniversary of my mother’s passing. She lost the battle against cancer but she fought it with every ounce of love she had in her. When she was diagnosed she was given six months to live and she demanded more, living nearly two years. In the remembrance of her death I’ve found another purpose for my writing, learning to take her words to heart. May each of you reading this discover that the most important acceptance of your writing is your own.

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GST Reopening to Submission

Myrrym Davies — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 19:36:09 +0000

Greetings GST-ers!

I am pleased to announce Graveside Tales will be reopening to submissions on September 1st, 2010. Dale is currently going through a couple of the older manuscripts, but the bulk of the backlog has been reviewed and replies issued. For the two or three of you still awaiting a response, please allow Dale a little more time to fully review your work. You will receive a final decision from us very soon.

In other news, Dale is currently working on formatting previously published GST titles for digital download. While we still intend to publish physical books, we understand the convenience and appeal of lower cost e-books. It is our hope that by offering titles in a variety of downloadable formats (Kindle, Nook, Sony Reader, et al), we can boost sales and offer better royalty payments to our authors. Look for your favorite GST titles to appear in e-book format in the near future!

I would also like to mention I have taken over scheduling the releases for Graveside Tales Books. Starting with the 2011 lineup, accepted authors will work with me on both editing and release planning. It is my intention to release a new title every other month. Here is the official lineup through August 2011:

First week of September 2010: Huffer by Michael J. Hultquist

Halloween 2010: Carnival of Fear by JG Faherty

December 2010: A super-special surprise (currently in negotiation)

February 15, 2011: The Wide Game by Michael West

April 15, 2011: Looking at the World with Broken Glass in My Eye – a short story collection by Mark Justice

June 15, 2011: The Beast Within 2 – edited by Jennifer Brozek

August 15, 2011: The Bleeding Room by Barry Napier

I think that covers everything for now. If anyone has any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me or Dale. As always, thank you for your dedication to GST. We appreciate your support!

~Myrrym Davies – Editor

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Sink Your Teeth into a Vampire Comedy

Michael McCarty — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 19:17:59 +0000

by Michael McCarty

Forget about the new Twilight movie, whatever it’s number is … 33 1/3. The problem with that series is, it’s too damn serious. That’s why HBO’s True Blood is so much more enjoyable. They aren’t afraid to have a few chuckles here and there. I’m also happy to hear that the movie Vampires Suck is coming out soon. It looks like a satire of all the vampire flicks.

It can be difficult to combine comedy and terror in one movie. For hardcore horror fans, the slapstick can get in the way of the scares … and for comedy fans, there may be too many spooks and not enough silliness. For these reasons, vampire comedies are often the Rodney Dangerfield of monster movies: they don't get the respect they deserve.

Monster comedies have an interesting beginning. Universal Studios, who brought us the big monsters of the '30s — Frankenstein, Dracula and the Mummy — was teetering near bankruptcy during the '40s and '50s. Universal decided to yuck it up with many of its famous monsters in several Abbott and Costello films. The comedy duo shared the bill with such creatures as the Mummy (and you thought this new mummy was the first to have comedy and chills?), the Invisible Man, and Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. The first vampire comedy was Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, which featured Bela Lugosi revisiting his role as Dracula.

For those who like their movies both frightening and funny, throw open the casket’s lid and chuckle at these vampire comedies.

LOVE AT FIRST BITE (1979)

American International Pictures

Starring George Hamilton (Dracula)

Directed by Stan Dragoti

93 Minutes (PG)

Rating: ***1/2

Over 30 years ago, theaters were invaded by three pivotal vampire films: a remake of Dracula with Frank Langella, a remake of Nosferatu, and the best of the lot, the comedy, Love at First Bite.

Normally suntanned George Hamilton goes pasty to play the famous count. He also adds a touch of romance and class and some great comic timing to the role. The film opens with Dracula playing the piano in his castle as wolves howl outside. He shouts: "Children of the night — shut up!"

With a situation comedy storyline, the Count is forced out his castle by the Communist government. So, Dracula takes his coffin and his faithful, bug-eating assistant Renfield (played by scene-stealing Arte Johnson from Laugh-In) and travels to New York City.

On a quest to win the affections of model Cindy Sondheim (Susan St. James), he has to deal with all the problems of modern night-life, as well as her psychiatrist boyfriend Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg (Richard Benjamin), a descendent of Van Helsing.

The chemistry works well between Hamilton and St. James. "Never a quickie," Dracula boasts, "always a longie." The Count's seduction of Cindy is a strange mix of sex, humor and a variation on the myth that three bites can transform a victim into a vampire.

One of best and most successful of the Dracula spoofs, Love at First Bite has withstood the test of time. Plenty of belly laughs, well worth seeking out.

ONCE BITTEN (1985)

Samuel Goldwyn

Starring Lauren Hutton (the Countess)

Directed by Howard Storm

94 minutes (PG-13)

Rating: ***

Before Jim Carrey was Ace Ventura, The Cable Guy, comedian Andy Kauffman or Truman, he played nerdy Mark Kendall: someone who is so geeky and clueless, he tries to go all the way with his uptight girlfriend Robin (Karen Kopins) in the front seat of an ice-cream truck with a big clown's head bouncing on top.

Enter the Countess (played by perky blonde Lauren Hutton), who needs to drink blood from a virgin three times before Halloween so she doesn’t age (a theme also found in Andy Warhol's Dracula, Love at First Bite and the Hammer classic, Countess Dracula). Unfortunately she lives in LA, a city not exactly crawling with virgins.

The underage Kendall and his even geekier pals go barhopping, hoping to score. Kendall ends up with the Countess who does a Mrs. Robinson routine with fangs.

The rest of the film follows our teenage protagonist through a limbo-land halfway between the vampire-state and the wonder years, with some brilliant comic moments for Carrey. Donning black clothes and dark shades as normal dress, he evens wins a costume as a vampire. "I'm not wearing a costume!" he insists.

Another highlight of this film is the Countess' gay butler, played by Clevon Little (from Blazing Saddles) who lives in her closet. His over-the-top performance adds plenty of giggles. "I've come out of the closet centuries ago," he quips.

A PG-13 sex comedy, the sexual jokes should have been more explicit to get an R rating, or tamed down more to get a PG. Even so, Once Bitten succeeds at being a teenage sex-comedy version of Love at First Bite.

ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK (1988)

New World Pictures

Starring Cassandra Peterson (Elvira)

Written by John Paragon, Sam Egan & Cassandra Peterson

Directed by James Signorelli

96 minutes (PG-13)

Rating: ****

Movie critic Roger Ebert once described Elvira as "a cross between Mae West and Vampirella." That might explain the ever-lasting appeal of the sexiest of all vamps. She may not suck blood, but since this movie indicates that her family dabbles in the supernatural, I’m counting her as part of the vampire world (who knows, maybe Dracula was her grandpa).

The movie is about everyone's favorite well-endowed B-movie hostess, who’s already ready to share the occasional cleavage joke. "I’m the gal who put boo back into boob tube," she remarks at the beginning. Sure, she’s stuck hosting campy monster flicks, but her dream is to someday have her own Vegas show.

She heads off in her souped-up '58 T-Bird to the conservative town of Fallwell, Massachusetts. She travels to this decent community (as the sign leading into town says) to find out what her late Aunt Morgana left her in the will.

When she gets there, she learns that she now owns her Aunt's ramshackle, spooky house and a cute poodle named Gonk, who she transforms into a punk poodle. "I need a house in Fallwell like I need a padded bra," she gripes.

Elvira is soon at odds with the prudish town busybody, Chastity Pariah (Edie McClurg) who doesn't approve of the busty vamp’s lifestyle. Pariah says, "You won't fit into this town — you don't even fit into that dress."

The rest of the plot revolves around Elvira's weird family heritage, leering teens, a book of magic, and an evil Uncle who wants to take over the world. Plenty of naughty-but-nice fun.

The R&G Video Collector's Edition Gold Series version is highly recommend because it presents the film, a featurette, a profile of the T-Bird (the Macabremobile), and profiles of Elvira and Edie McClurg — a total of 12 minutes of miscellaneous material.

FYI, I interviewed Cassandra Peterson, a.k.a. Elvira in my book, Modern Mythmakers from McFarland: http://www.mcfarlandpub.com/book-2.php?id=978-0-7864-3497-8

DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT (1995)

Castle Rock Entertainment

Starring Leslie Nielsen (Dracula)

Written by Mel Brooks, Rudy DeLuca, and Steve Haberman

Directed by Mel Brooks

90 minutes (PG-13)

Rating: ** 1/2

Mel Brooks is best-known for his comedies, but he is also a horror and sci-fi junkie. Not only did he make such genre comedy classics as Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs and High Anxiety, but he has also produced David Cronberg's 1986 remake of The Fly.

Although his Dracula comedy was bombarded by the critics, the movie plays well for vampire fans. His genuine affection for vampire films is evident from all the lavish sets and costumes (complete with plunging dress necklines showing off plenty of cleavage). The look of the movie is reminiscent of Hammer’s horror classics. Lysette Anthony, who plays Lucy, is a dead ringer for Hammer heroine Hazel Court.

The story is pretty much the standard Dracula plotline. The biggest difference — besides the spoof elements, of course — is that Renfield (Peter MacNicol does a delightful job) is played up and Harker is played down.

Mel Brooks, who co-wrote, produced and starred in the movie, parodies Nosferatu, tons of Hammer movies, and the Dracula performances of Bela Lugosi, Frank Langella, and Gary Oldman. Not as outrageous as most films by Brooks, but still worth a few good chuckles.

So, seek out these movies and sink your teeth into a vampire comedy!

- – -

Michael McCarty is the author of the vampire novel, Liquid Diet (www.khpindustries.com), and seventeen other books. His latest story collection, A Hell of a Job, is jam-packed with twenty-five short stories, including two vampire tales, “Extra Credit” and “For Better or for Worse,” both co-written with Terrie Leigh Relf. The story collection is available at: http://www.damnationbooks.com/book.php?isbn=9781615721177.

A Little Help From My Fiends, from Sam’s Dot Publishing, features twenty collaborative tales, including such campire yarns as “Lucania,” co-written with Sandy DeLuca; “The Substitute,” co-written with Michael Louis Calvillo; and “Dracula Has Risen from the Sofa (Plumped-Up Couch Potato Upgrade),” co-written with GravesideTales.com columnist Mark McLaughlin. You’ll find Fiends lurking in the Anthologies section of www.genre-mall.com.

For more information on Michael’s projects, visit www.myspace.com/monsterbook or type his name into the search engine at www.Horror-Mall.com. You can contact Michael at monstermike69@hotmail.com

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