gRegorLove.com

Untitled

Sun, 5 Jul 2009 18:44:12 -0400

Curse this place
Fear never finding it again
Fear it will never let me go
Silence
Speaking loudly to my doubts
This does not matter to you anymore
Unsure exactly when that changed
Been a while
Sometimes it is so difficult to believe
The past mattered

– by gRegor Morrill

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

Summer To-Do List

Mon, 1 Jun 2009 18:49:35 -0400

I borrowed the idea for this post from Rachelskirts:

Go camping at Cornerstone Festival – my 13th year there!
Finish reading the Harry Potter series – I'm on book 5 currently.
Re-read the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Read some other good books (recommendations welcome).
Watch movies at the drive-in.
Make an app for that.
Eat corn on the cob.
See U2 in Chicago with Jenn.
Blog more regularly.
Play volleyball.
Visit Jeeves and Sarah in North Carolina.
Go to a water park.
Finish cleaning / re-arranging my office.
Walk a bunch of miles along the canal downtown.
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Suspicionless Checkpoint

Tue, 26 May 2009 16:36:27 -0400

While listening to the Free Talk Live podcast from May 16 I was reminded of the horrible story of what happened to pastor Steven Anderson just a little over a month ago.

On April 14, Mr. Anderson was driving home from San Diego to Phoenix and was stopped at a suspicionless Border Patrol checkpoint about 75 miles east of Yuma on Interstate 8. Note, this is a checkpoint inside the United States, within 100 miles of the US/Mexico border. He declined to answer their questions or let them search his vehicle, invoking his Fourth Amendment rights. They insisted he go to secondary screening, where they brought out a dog and claimed it had alerted them there were drugs or a human in the trunk. Anderson said the dog did nothing and requested they bring the dog out again to show him the alert, but they refused.

Anderson was detained for over an hour until the Department of Public Saftey officers arrived. He again explained that the dog had done nothing. The DPS officer asked Border Patrol to bring the dog out again, but they still refused. Based on the word of the Border Patrol officers, the DPS officer said Anderson was under arrest “for failure to obey me, right now”. They warned Anderson to cover his eyes because there would be broken glass. He covered his face with his hands and leaned forward, the officers broke both the driver and passenger side windows in and shot him with two tasers. He tried to keep covering his face with his hands, but could not even control his arms because of the tasers. An officer grabbed his head and shoved it into the driver's side door where the window had just been broken out, pushing glass into his head. He was pulled out of the car, thrown on the ground, his head held down with an officer's foot, and was shot with more tasers. He was not physically resisting or fighting back at all. Finally, they handcuffed him and took him into one of the trailers, where he could see in a mirror that his face was covered with blood. He had to get eleven stitches.

Unsurprisingly, when they searched his car they found nothing. The dogs either falsely alerted, or the officers just lied about the dog alerting.

This much I have summarized from a couple videos which I recommend you watch below. The second one is actually from the car right as they break the windows and tase him. You won't really see much, but be warned that you do hear his screams of pain from the tasers and might be disturbed.

Under Supreme Court decision U.S. v. Martinez-Fuerte, apparently these type of checkpoints are permitted within 100 miles of an international border, as long as they're aimed at catching illegal immigrants or smugglers. Technically, based on Census data, 190 million Americans live within this 100 mile zone of our borders and coastlines, meaning nearly two-thirds of the population could essentially be denied their Fourth Amendment rights rather arbitrarily, just by driving somewhere.

My opinion is that this was ridiculous, violent behavior exercised against someone who was not violent or threatening violence against anyone. Furthermore, it's an obvious violation of his Fourth Amendment right to be secure in his person and effects against unreasonable search and seizure, particularly lacking a search warrant. There's more reading below if you are interested. The last link is actually an opposition article, critical of Anderson and his family because they are quite “right wing.” For me, while I know I disagree with the Anderson family on some political and spiritual matters, that does not change that what happened here is reprehensible.

Baptist pastor beaten + tazed by Border patrol - 11 stitches

ACTUAL FOOTAGE Pastor Beaten & Tased by Border Patrol & DPS

More reading

The camera is the new gun
Arizona DPS Delivers 'Service' With a Smile
Checkpoint Diego
Pastor Claims Abuse at Border Patrol Checkpoint on Interstate 8
Pastor Tased and “Beaten” at Checkpoint Plans to Sue; Admits He's Been Resisting at Checkpoints for Months
I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea...

Hurt

Wed, 20 May 2009 13:58:51 -0400

Everyone and their brother has (probably – hopefully) heard this cover / seen the video already, but I was just reminded of it yesterday.

It's flawless. Moves me every time.

Worn

Fri, 8 May 2009 21:49:34 -0400

I have been feeling pretty worn and heavy-hearted lately. There's just a lot of stuff going on, and I tend to empathize.

Sheryl's dad passed away in March. Now her brother is having some health issues and is in the hospital. Matt's mom has cancer again, and it's apparently stage 3 or 4. She's having surgery sometime this summer. A marriage is dealing with the repercussions of an affair, as well as the friends around them. There's other things I can't really go into, but those are some key examples. On top of that are my own battles with self, which is another post entirely.

Lately, it just seems like everytime someone turns around, something bad is happening. Most of the time they are things I cannot really do anything about – it feels helpless. I feel like I'm sometimes looked to – even if I cannot “do” anything – to be strong, at least. Not sure how well I'm doing at that. I just feel discouraged. I am weak. I am worn.

I have been reading through the Harry Potter series and it feels like there's a dementor around:

“Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soulless and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.”

– Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

It's not to that extreme, thankfully, but I thought the analogy to current happenings was uncanny. I know that I am loved, and in that I have hope, even if it is often hard to see or grasp that hope. I am still trying.

Mystery trip

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:21:48 -0400

This past weekend I ventured out on a mystery trip that Myssi and Adam organized. I had no idea where we were going, just that we were to meet at 6pm on Friday and wouldn't be back until late Sunday night. There were seven of us, 5 guys and 2 girls. My initial guess was Chicago, but we soon got on the highway going south. After passing Louisville, I guessed we were going to Nashville.

The ride down was fun. Myssi and Adam play this game that the first person to get within a state “claims” that state. While driving, they both suddenly reach forward on the dashboard right as we crossed into Kentucky (Myssi got it). This happened suddenly and we had no clue in the backseat what was going on until they explained. As we approached the Tennessee border, Adam said he was going to pull over on the shoulder, get out, and run across the border because he was sure he could run faster than Myssi. We mocked them from the backseat, because they're both really competitive about... well, most things. Adam actually did pull over and I surprised both of them by getting out first and running like the wind, claiming Tennessee. They were surprised and we were quite amused.

We arrived at our hotel in Goodlettsville, not far from Nashville. They gave us the itinerary for the weekend, but they named things cleverly so we weren't really sure what we were doing. For example, dinner at “Krustellos” - Krystal, similar to White Castle (but better since they had chili dogs). After dinner we drove a few miles away and there was difficulty finding our next destination. We were supposed to go to a cemetary to tell scary stories, but apparently it didn't turn out to be a cemetary after all. Most of us were tired, so we just went back to the hotel.

Saturday morning we went to the Nashville zoo which was a pretty cool zoo. They have one of the coolest jungle gyms I've seen in a while - big enough for us big kids, too. Afterwards we went to Hard Rock Cafe for lunch (it only seemed appropriate, being in Nashville). Then we went to Centennial Park, which is quite a beautiful park. There's a replica of the Parthenon there with a museum inside. We checked that out, then lazed around outside in the sun. The weather was beautiful, 70s and sunny. That night we went to Opryland which was pretty impressive. It's a combination of convention center, hotel, and lots of restaurants, shops, and gardens - all beneath a huge glass ceiling. We walked around there quite a bit, getting our exercise in.

Sunday we went to the Tennessee State Museum which had a lot of interesting information / exhibits from the Civil War era. Unfortunately, I was rather worn out by that point, so probably did not appreciate it as much as I could have. Finally, before heading home we stopped by Rocketown, a nice little venue / cafe started by Michael W Smith.

Thanks to Myssi and Adam for organizing such a fun trip!

Viva la Vida

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:20:19 -0400

I should have written this sooner; I meant to, but got caught up.

My best friend Sheryl's dad passed away this past Saturday. He had fallen and broken his hip on February 22 and had surgery the next day. The surgery seemed to go well from what the doctors said, but he was in a lot of pain even after leaving the hospital. He was in and out of the hospital and rehab a few times after the surgery. This is all in addition to not being in the greatest health to begin with – he had multiple strokes in the past and had been in a wheelchair the last few years. He was at home when he passed, which is apparently where he wanted to be. He didn't want to be in a hospital or something. He was 67.

I was over at a friend's house Saturday night when I just missed a call from Sheryl. I called her back and she was just silent for a moment; I could tell something was wrong. She cried, telling me her dad had died and asked me to drive her to her parents since she didn't think she could do it. I got down there as quickly as possible, of course. I was pretty surprised, honestly. I knew he hadn't been doing too well after the hospital, but I wasn't expecting this. Apparently it wasn't too unexpected, and Sheryl did have time to see him and tell him she loved him in the weeks prior. Still, you always feel like you could have done more.

My heart's broken from the whole situation, and I can't even imagine what it's like to lose a parent. I felt pretty helpless, didn't know what to say, so I just did whatever I could to help. Hug. Listen. Love. Bring Starbucks.

The funeral was yesterday at 10:30AM. She asked me to be a pallbearer.

As I said before, “Enjoy your loved ones and the little connections you make with others' loved ones.” Tell them you love them, now.

Time is so short
And I'm sure
There must be something more

Those who are dead are not dead
They're just living in my head
– “42” by Coldplay

Loving well

Thu, 5 Mar 2009 23:37:02 -0500

I have been thinking to myself “I want to start blogging more regularly” the past few weeks, but I suppose that does not actually get anything done. Thus, I sit down and type.

It has been an interesting couple months. I have been through various emotional highs and lows. Strained friendships, reconciliation, friends losing loved ones, celebrations with friends, and more. Sometimes my heart just aches, wishing I could do something to make everything “just right” for my friends and family. I know this is not possible, but I am still hopeful and optimistic, in general. I am thankful that we have each other to lean on and I try my best to be available for such. Somehow, I believe our love for each other is redemptive, and can sometimes help make sense out of the senseless.

I thought I would write more, but I think I will leave it at that – it feels done for now. I will leave you with some questions posed by @DavidHFoster on twitter (emphasis mine):

Are you living well? Are you loving well? Are you being loved well?

The next album you purchase

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 01:35:35 -0500

Should definitely be:

* Not a real album. Unfortunately. Instructions to make your own are below.

I like to imagine that PSEUDOGALTARA is a metal band that went electronica. Pronounce the name out loud in a low guttural voice. They had a lot of trolls on the internet and decided to write an entire album about them. The music is really bubble-gum pop – appealing to teenyboppers – hence the color scheme. They have not totally lost their badassed-...ery, though, hence the robot with huge guns. It's the best of all worlds, really.

The meme:

Go to Wikipedia and hit “random.” The first random Wikipedia article that comes up is the name of your band.
Go to Quotations Page and select “random quotations.” The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page will be the title of your first album.
Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days.” The third picture in the top row, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
Use Photoshop or a similar program to put it all together.
Post the results to your preferred online outlet with this text in the “caption” or “comment”.

The information:

Pseudogaltara is a genus of moth.
The original photo
The quote: “There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.” – Emile Chartier

XXX

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 02:30:10 -0500

It is far too late at night for me to be blogging, but it has also been far too long since I have posted; I needed to post this soon, before two months passed.

I turned 30 the day after Christmas.

The “turning 30” thing was not a big deal for me; it did not worry me or really feel that different. The day started (after sleeping in) with receiving a lot of birthday wishes on Twitter and Facebook. It made me smile and be thankful for all the people I am blessed with in my life. Backing up, the day technically started when Isha texted me birthday wishes at midnight. I responded with, “What - no phone call, no singing?”. She called and sang a sleepy (but good) rendition of “Happy Birthday”. I spent the afternoon with Jon and Isha, went to Best Buy to spend some birthday money, then went to the airport to pick up Suzi. We surprised her, since she was only expecting me to pick her up.

For dinner I got together with some friends at The Macaroni Grill. Alex, Jeremiah, Chris, Ian, Jon, Shawn, Niki, Sheryl, and Suzi were there (Isha was bummed to miss it, but understandably had to leave for some emergency best friend duty, rejoining us later). The food was great, as usual (well, the two times I have been), and a guy sang “Happy Birthday” in Italian. Afterwards we went to see Yes Man, which was really entertaining; I recommend it. Allison, Andy, and Chelsey joined us for the movie as well. Determined to keep the party going, we came back to my place and played games until about 3am (Doug and Dan joined us for the later part of the night).

Suzi gave me a Willow Tree figurine, “Heart of Gold”, telling me that I have the biggest heart – Aww :). Sheryl gave me a green-striped track jacket and a book by Pepe the King Prawn, It's Hard Out Here For a Shrimp: Life, Love & Living Large. Shawn gave me some Wii points. Allison gave me a card with a disco guy on it – sans confetti falling out of it (one of her trademarks), but the funniness inside made up for it. Niki gave me one of her stuffed animals and one of her signature homemade cards. Front: “Greger a very happy birthday to you.” Inside: “Yeah, sorry about the pizza stains. Isha got less than you did. Enjoy your situation.” The card is made of lined paper, pizza stains, and awesomeness.

The next night, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I somewhat suspected something might be up, but downplayed it in my mind. Sheryl had asked me earlier in the week if she could take me out to dinner at Red Robin. I agreed and she offered me a ride. That seemed odd, since the Red Robin is between us and it would be out of her way to come pick me up instead of meeting me there. We made a stop at Cafe Agape so she could get something from Suzi and, surprise, a lot of my friends were there! We played Rock Band, ate pizza, watched Fred Claus – and yes, I even blew out the torch that was my cake (all 30 candles) with one blow. :)

I was humbled by the surprise party, yet another reminder of how loved and blessed I am. I was content and had a blast with the festivities I had planned the night before, but my friends went above and beyond that and threw a surprise party, too. Thanks, everyone. 30 was a pretty great birthday and I'm looking forward to the next year.