This Sunday Tex and Dragon will be recording a third HubCast which will feature myself and quite possibly Nokyard as well. He apparently has a big announcement or two he’d like to make. Nokyard’s a good guy and always fun to chat with, so it should be a fun show.

Next month I may have to set a limit on the number of clips each person can submit. Several people decided to fill out nearly their entire fileshare with highlights and send each one to me. I’d prefer that folks pick a highlight or two from their weekend that is their most favorite and send those to me instead. It makes things a little easier on my end

Regardless of the time it took going through submissions this time around, I’d just like to thank everyone for continuing to send me highlights each month. It’s hugely appreciated.

The music in this month’s video comes from Of Broken, a great band local to HighlndHellrazr. Thanks to his efforts, Of Broken have granted us exclusive rights to use their songs in our videos here on the Hub.

Keep in mind since matt4player submitted this article, some teams may have played another game or two. While his analysis could probably use a little fine tuning, Matt does a nice job for his first time.

Division 1

The Ways and Means Committee – A promising team last season with the looks of an even better team this season. WaMC has played two games so far, both being 9-0. They should be able to get the first spot in this division, barring any unfortunate losses.

Hammertime – A good contender last year that should be able to make the playoffs this year as well. The team is equipped with high level players and is a strong contender against WaMC.

Division 2

Happy Sumo in Your Jazz Hole – Formerly known as “GI Joes,” this team already has a great start to their season by going 2-0 with only 3 goals allowed. They should be able to keep their record going strong throughout the season.

The Banhammers – A rookie team that has already beat an experienced team. Will they be able to start their rookie season off with a bang?

Division 3

Harmful if Swallowed – They made a deep run in the Amateur playoffs last season, knocking off now pro team Fizziewinkie. They should be able to wipe out their division this season and be able to repeat their efforts last season without much of a problem.

l33d Bi xampl – This team is experienced and if they are able to beat HiS next time around they could be fighting for a #1 spot in their division.

Division 4

The Crayola Conspiracy – Baby team to Crayola Magic. CC had a good start by going 2-0, as long as the team allows less goals throughout the season they’ll be taking the first spot in their division.

The Henry Lovers – This team was in Spring League last season and placed second in their division. They already have a great start by only allowing one goal so far. The match-ups with Crayola Conspiracy will determine how they place in this division.

Division 5

Strawberries n’ Nipples – A strong team built with good players. Should be able to take their division easy and continue into the playoffs.

Goon Squad – New team looking to make a big splash. They have a lot of “experienced” players, some I’ve seen many times in DXP weekends. I wouldn’t expect to see forfeits from this team and expect them to make a good showing in the playoffs.

Division 6

Operation Infinite Walrus – New team for the summer league built with good players and has already gotten a 9-0 win. Operation Infinite Walrus should be able to get into the playoffs without much effort.

5hort Bu5 – A team that has been playing in the league for quite awhile now. This team has played many teams that are now in the Pro league. Bu5 should be able to get into the playoffs again.

Division 7

FC-5 – A team that knows the ways of the game and has only allowed one goal so far. They may have a good fight with Team Black, but if they are able to win their battles against them they should be winning the division easy.

Team Black – This team had a bunch of strong players. Look for their games against FC-5 to be competitive. Expect them to make the playoffs being one of the top teams in their division.

Division 8

Pelvic Trust – Look for this team to take their division. This is one of the smallest divisions with 2 generic teams, so it should be an easy ride to the playoffs.

Initial Impact – As long as this team can beat the baby team of Harmful if Swallowed, Deadly if Eaten, I believe they will be going to the playoffs.

Division 9

The War Hammers v2 – I’m sorry if I upset anyone by picking my own team, but I think this team will be able to take their division. The division has a couple of new teams and War Hammers have the experience to make it to the playoffs

WiNFORCe – I’m going to go with the underdog on this one — maybe because my team has already played this team, and they have great potential. If they are able to beat Butchie’s Lawn Mowing Service, I think they will make the playoffs.

Division 10

Atomic Bowling Ball – The farm team of Red Ray. I think that this team will do as they say and make it farther than Red Ray. Sorry Red Ray.

PhNx Beatdown – If this team can beat We Liek Mudkipz they will advance to the playoffs. Not too much to say.

Division 11

::ZERO Logic:: – Good team with good players. They should be able to make to take this division without much of a problem as long as they play their games.

TaStE ThE RaInBoW – Another good team in this division. Should be great competition against ::ZL:: for the division.

Division 12

The Kingo Experience – This team will definitely win this division with ease and go far in the playoffs. Look for them in the championship game.

Irish Mafia – This team only allowed one goal in their first game. I don’t think tthey will be able to get the first spot in their division but will most likely get second, allowing them to advance to the playoffs.

Division 13

Collateral Damage – This division has a bunch of competition in my opinion. If Collateral Damage can play well throughout the rest of the season they could win the division.

Steel Wolves – After playing with this team for two seasons, I think that they will have the experience to pull through and make the playoffs.

Division 14

WAL*MART Connection – This team has been playing grifball for a little bit now and I think they will be able to get a division win this time.

Red Army – Red Army has also been playing in the league for awhile now. As long as they play their games and do well against rival teams, they can get into the playoffs.

Division 15

OpFor – This is a brand new team made with a couple of top level players that took the “generic team” spot in this division. OpFor and Zoo Monkies will be competing with one another for the division win.

Zoo Monkies – ZM and OpFor will be a toss-up for this division. Whoever the better team is, when time comes, will win this division.

This week’s challenge is a caption contest!

Directions: Save and add dialogue to the below picture that reflects what the Spartan could possibly be thinking or saying. Captions do not have to be in a specific format and graphic ability is not a part of the judging criteria.

Please e-mail all submissions to by Tuesday, July 21. If you’d like to submit a picture to be captioned in a future contest, please feel free to e-mail it to the same address.

Thank you to Kando Tor for granting permission to use this screenshot.

Please, no more highlights!
While I appreciate and love the fact that so many would like to submit highlights for this month’s Pup and Friends highlight reel, the deadline I set for submissions has passed. I have had a LOT of clips to go through and still have many more to view. I’m pretty sure the number of clips I received this month doubled last month’s total. Possibly even more than that. The good news is I expect to begin capturing clips later today and hopefully by this weekend the highlights will be complete and posted here on the Hub.

As I mentioned in a journal on Rooster Teeth, perhaps the coolest thing about the highlights this month will be the presence of at least a couple “randoms”. Randoms of course is the term many have labeled players in the double XP playlist who aren’t regulars in the grifball community.

What’s up with the stats, eh?
Most have probably noticed that the stats on Grifball.com calculated for both teams and individual players have seemed to become more of a mess each season. As a personal example, both myself and Cofrog (my teammate) are suddenly missing about 200 kills from our overall kill totals. I think I’m also missing a score and game played. While I can’t bring you good news related to individual player stats, I do have a bit of a good news regarding team stats.

One of our trusty league admins, Menz (aka I CITI I) has decided to take it upon himself to manually update team averages throughout the season for the Pro League. Team averages include batting, scoring and overall. If you check out the Pro League divisions, you should now see more accurate numbers for each team.

Here is his explanation of how he’s calculating the averages:

I’m planning on updating each team’s averages manually throughout the season. I also changed the formula that was being used to calculate averages. Instead of taking the average of all the games’s averages, I’m doing it based on your team’s total numbers. So (all your team’s kills, minus all your team’s betrayals), divided by (all your team’s kills plus all your team’s deaths) for batting average. I also went with a completely new formula thought up by Fox Fahrenheit to more accurately calculate scoring percentage: All your team’s goals divided by (all your team’s goals plus total stops by your opponents).

That’s it for this week, folks! Good luck in your games this week and don’t forget to grab highlights from your games. If you can’t remember the process for submitting them, check out the league FAQ.

1. How long have you been involved with the sport of Grifball?
I discovered Grifball around the end of GBSL08. I entered summer league with the legacy team Cookie Cowboys, captained by Goomba Ownage. My first season was the highlight of my career. I had a great time making friends and sharing many laughs. I’ve been in the league for 4 seasons and I always end up on a team I can have fun with. I seem to get along well with any team I play for. It’s been about a year since I started, and I still get the same butterflies waiting in the pregame lobby of league games.

2. What kind of player are you?
I enjoy racking up kills and going positive. I’m a tank. During league games my style is always changing. I use a variety of tanking styles such as hammer jumping, pussy footing, and running straight through people. If I die twice using one method I’ll switch to another. If one is working I’ll continue using it. I’m a tank that makes the push to get my runner in. Picking up the much needed one swing double kill on the way to the pad. I tank in bursts as I like to say.

3. If you could change one thing about Grifball or its community, what would that be?
I would like to expand the community and take the time to invite people. Although it seems to me any new player on the forum gets shut down and turned away. On that note I also would change the self centered attitude players in this league possess. A lot of people are complete dicks, and it gives new players an unwelcoming impression on our community.

4. Is there a player/team that has inspired your style of play?
That One Team inspired my play. I remember jumping in for pick up games with Goomba back in the summer league. They would always beat us. In theater I watched each of their players and tried to learn from their playing style. I also played with Iwrestle8 in pick ups. Players in those games hammer jumped constantly. Once I found out how to hammer jump, I never stopped. Finally I learned I could simply run straight at people and pick up kills. I was taught this by Dragonblood (or I720 I33457) when he showed me how to play with host. He also told me pussy footing decreases my host effectiveness. Which is why I keep it to a minimum.

5. Name one player who always gives you fits when you play against them. What makes them so difficult?
Digital Pain. He’s patient, and never changes. I can never seem to kill him. The only way to kill him is by sword. Any time I play against him I get frustrated. I try not to blame connection, but he just seems unbeatable.

6. Name one player you think is underrated by most. Why?
One player who isn’t recognized is Thunder4400. He tends to go double digits positive off host any game I play with or against him. Thunder has a great hammer. He has his timing down not only with the hammer, but with the ball as well. Thunder plays for the pro team SSEC.

7. Name one player you think is overrated by most. Why?
T Rich Da King is all about connection. He lacks skill with his sword and general awareness of the court. He can only lag his way through people with his hammer. I look at him as a rookie who gets hammer kills because of connection. I realize he’s on CitHC, but T Rich is a lagger.

8. Besides Grifball, what other games/sports do you play?
I wrestle in the 122 lb. weight class for my high school team. I also play defense for my high school soccer team. I enjoy playing badminton, horseshoes, and volleyball as well. Besides Grifball, I play Call of Duty, Red Faction, and arcade games.

9. In your opinion, do stats matter in Grifball?
I like going positive. It makes me feel as if I made the difference in the game. My main goal is to get the win, but going positive is an extra boost. A lot of people judge other players by stats. I happen to be someone who wants to be judged as a good player.

10. If you could offer words of advice to rookie players, what would they be?
Get to know the good players of the league. If they come to like you they will probably send you invites to pick up games. Once you have a couple of people you can rely on for invites, you are set. Continue to improve by playing with them.

Division 1

Crayola Magic
The Crayons didn’t change anything in the off season.. They still have the same five guys making their way through their second Pro season. But right before the first week they picked up two new players, iST0RM WARNING and avatarowoe, that’ll add some diversity. Last season CM barely crept into the playoffs with only two credible wins to their name, but fortunately one was against the Pro League champions. If last season is any indication, the road to the playoffs will be a rocky one, and the risk of being knocked out early is ever-present. Only time will tell if Crayola Magic can repeat their success from last season after another rough start.

Hard Liquor Chasers
Last season’s Amateur favorites have moved up to the Pros. Unfortunately, this team was cut in half during the off season. With a few promising pick ups that made their debut or return in the Amateurs last season, the Chasers might struggle with team chemistry before getting into a groove. This will be HLC’s first season facing the teams in this division, but fortunately they have their Amateur League rivals in interdivisional play that may end up another close win. These guys will need to fight tooth and nail to make into the playoffs.

Separate Intelligence
For two straight season’s these guys have fought all the way to the finals, only to fall short. In the off season they lost two key players, one being a strong host puller, the other probably the best runner grifball has known. But “The Most Average Team in Grifball” has added some great muscle that many may not know right off the bat, Bynumator and A Silver Hippo. Again, the teams in this division are going to be new competition to SI, but they’ve had a steady track record of making the playoffs. Unless there’s an upset, this team should have little problem taking the division.

That One Team
Previously, the punching bag of last season’s Pro League, this One Team has decided to give it another shot. Whereas last season had a skeleton crew playing on the team, ToT has added a lot of their previous players including a former Legacy League champion player during the short off season. Except for last season, this team has done well holding its own against some of the best teams in the league. The main obstacle for ToT not be the teams that they haven’t faced before, but the stigma they have carried over from last season of being a “joke” team.

Division 2

Power Outage
The lights are going out again as PO makes their return to grifball. With an almost exact lineup from their best season regrouping to make another run. Hell, this team made the playoffs one season playing mostly one man down. Now they’re back to full strength? People should look out. But the only problem is SYLaL which had decisive wins against PO previously being right in their division. They needed a new game plan to shock the league, and looks like it might be working. On the other side, they have two untested teams to try to prove themselves.

Shut Your Lips and Learn
The first Pro League champions, with a name change, are looking to add another title to their name, and adding back a player that was part of their SML08 championship may be the key to doing so. Not only that, but they have added two of the best Amateurs from last season. The losses this team does have are few and far between and it’s mostly because each player is a master of their field. The one downside is that they don’t have old rivals Bleep Bloop! anywhere on the schedule. Will the lack of their rivals make this team soft? I wouldn’t like to think so, but they’re not on a perfect start. It may just be a repeat of SYLaL’s first season.

Soviet Russia
Almost half of HLC uprooted and founded this team, with several additions from the Amateur league. As a team they are untested and play with some heavy competition; as individuals, it’s a different story. To be honest in my opinion, each member of this team is vastly underrated and capable of doing a lot. SR’s players might still have difficulty in molding that raw talent into a winning formula. Being placed with a couple of powerhouse teams is work for any team, let alone a brand new one. It will be a hard process for the Commies to put up a couple of wins.

Team ROFLCOPTER
Another truly untested team rounds out this division. Ironic fact: this team has ties to HLC and will be facing former HLCers. But enough of that, ROFLCOPTER has some of the most well rounded, aggressive players in the league. They’ve practiced hard to live up to the possibility of being in the Pros, and now they are. A few concerns to worry about are the fact that one of their main players hasn’t seen action in a couple of seasons and their main host puller has stopped pulling. With this combination of things happening, will it spell doom for the new guys in this hardened division?

Division 3

Cat In The Hat Crew
The Cats are putting on their hats again and getting on stage for their next performance. With practically half the team being WL09 champions, CitHC are bound to make a lot of noise this season (meow, hiss). Their division has yet to be proven Pro teams, so it’s sure to be cake walk. Although they may run into some problems when they face off against the other set of former champs in interdivisional play. With some of the best the league has to offer, this is their division to win. Now the question is, how far will they make it in the playoffs?

Fizzlewinkie
Another Amateur team making the jump to Pro this season, Fizzlewinkie make have bitten off more than they asked for. These guys haven’t changed much of their formula since they first started playing grifball. That may be a good thing, in certain cases, but the thing that has earned them so many playoff appearances has now become stagnant. They were ousted last Amateur playoffs by a team that’s unable to compete at the Pro level. Unfortunately, I can’t find anything to like of their chances, but they may have a chance to prove me wrong.

Put It On The Pad
After walking away the WL08 Rookie champions, this team could only pull a forfeit win and a win against the disaster that was Team USA. They had to eat a lot of pride last season, but they may have a better chance this season. With a questionable team in their division and unproven teams in interdivisional play, PiotP can find the formula to win again. Losing their two best tanks has made their situation difficult. Will the addition of three new players, one of which has never played a game, help change up the game and give PiotP a few wins?

Team Red Ray
This joke is about as old as a Scotsman I know, but I have to say it. Red Ray is no pushover. Although, it was mentioned a couple of times that this team would be the benchmark of what it takes to be a Pro League team. These guys have a lot to prove, especially being the last visage of the 9th Wonders/HDDVVDDBCD legacy. The addition of one of the best unknown runners that I’ve seen lately might, in fact, make Red Ray no pushover. Maybe it will really become a benchmark of which teams belong and which should go back to Amateur.

Division 4

+1 Zing?
This team takes its pickings from various top teams from around the league. There are honestly too many playoff and championship games that have been played by these players to mention. These guys can often be seen playing some random games together, but it would the first time for most of them playing official games together. Again, the lack of chemistry might hurt these guys in the end. They should, however, easily take the division as they’ll mostly be facing former Amateur teams in both divisional and interdivisional games.

Scuba Squad
One of the new sensations from the Amateur League last season made the leap out of the pool and into the ocean when they joined the Pro League this season. Funny thing is that this team of former rookies is being led by one of the longest playing grifballers. This roster lost its main tank and filled it with another young and promising tank, and it’s hard to say how well they will do with only four players on the roster. I’m sure the Scuba Squad will surprise in a few games, although they won’t make much of a show.

*Note: After this article was written and submitted to the Hub, news broke that Scuba Squad has potentially broken up. If so, they will be replaced instead of become a dreaded forfeit factory.

Secret Society of Extraordinary Citizens
Some of the most promising players that have played in the Rookie and Amateur Leagues are stepping up to form this brand new team. A few of them have played together, but it’ll definitely be this teams first outing together and again—it becomes a question of if raw talent will overcome the lack of chemistry. That is, of course, unless these are all secondary accounts again (kidding). But in a division that has a team filled with championship caliber players and interdivisional play against teams that are vastly more experienced, SSEC will definitely struggle.

Str8 Griffn
A former Rookie/Amateur team that slowly gained some fame with their steady string of wins against some favored Amateur teams. Even with those wins, this team has still struggled in their games. Definitive wins are few and far between for Str8 Griffn. They’ve only proven themselves with one win against a current Pro team, but unfortunately that team is no where near their schedule. It’s hard to imagine this team—that has promising, but not outspoken players—winning many of their Pro League games.

Division 5

Apocalypse Ponies
Another favorite of the Amateur League steps up to the big leagues. They claimed quite a few wins and upsets in their debut season, especially against two other heavily favored teams. Their roster doesn’t have as much depth as I would’ve liked, though. Their DXP expertise has transferred well over into playing for the AGLA. But with the team that knocked them out of the playoffs last season in interdivisional play standing in their way, does this mean that they’ll succumb to the pressure, or come out with some revenge in mind?

Cheap Ass Gamer
These guys defy all normal definitions of what it takes to win in this league. With massively negative K/D’s and insanely creative launches, CAG really is a shoe in to win this division unless the other teams can perfect their launch defenses. I’m not saying anything that no one knows, but you really have to respect these guys for having a game plan and actually being able to execute in against some of the best teams out there. They should make a solid showing in the playoffs but unfortunately will be stopped by near perfect swords.

That’s What She Said
Definitely not looking like the team that it started out as. They had a mediocre showing in the Pro League last season. Will a massive roster shake up bring new life to this dying team? A lot of new blood coming from former Bleep Bloop! can really supplement these guys and change their game. Each player has the experience to play at this level, but it’s hard to say how this mash up of two teams will fair when faced into a pressure-filled situation that may determine their ability to make the playoffs.

The Galloping Seagulls
The champions of last season’s Amateur League feel ready to step up into the Pros. Unfortunately, they lost a lot of heavy muscle in the off season. Fortunately, they picked up one of the strongest host pullers out there. Sardonically, this team rallied for neutral host when they lacked a host puller, but once Laggerz joined the team I haven’t heard a word on the subject from them. Being placed in a division with one of their oldest rivals sets up a lot of blood feud games. They have some great players but will definitely need to pick up their game if they want to go farther than third place.

Division 6

American Dream
The Dream keeps coming back even if I did say it was dying. They had a massive influx of players in the off season to help and diversify the depth of the team. AD only won two games last season, and one of those was due to a forfeit. With scheduling made a little easier that forfeit might not come around, and the other team that they won against is no where on their schedule. It just hurts to see that these guys haven’t scored more that two plants a game. For me to see them score three plants against a proven team will be a dream.

Bleep Bloop!
These guys have been favored heavily since they made the name change, but it just could never amount to success as it’s been a couple of seasons since the Bleep Bloopers have made a playoff. Although, there’s been some cutting of players to relive some inner turmoil. BB! fills the void with a player from Bleep Bloop’s longest running rivals. Great thing, though, is that Blade has a championship card to bring to the table. Again these guys will likely be favorites, only the coming weeks will reveal if they have what it takes to make it to the playoffs.

Dude, Where’s The Runner?
A new name and a few roster changes may be what this disappointing sleeper team needs. They broke a lot of hearts last season when they couldn’t follow up on their sleeper status. They are coming back as the season’s sleeper team, as well. They have one of the most diverse rosters around and their experience is invaluable, they only have to commute that into wins. With a mix bag of divisional and interdivisional games, DWR can only hope to prove people right and steal a playoff spot at the end of the season.

Green Army
Last, but not least of the Amateur teams to make the jump up with the big boys. These guys were heavily favored to do well in the Amateur League but couldn’t make it past the third round in a 64 team playoff. They continue to impress and improve each season, so hopefully this is their time to shine. Unluckily they’ll probably be fighting for second place in the division again this season and also an interdivisional game against the only team to beat them in the regular season in the Amateurs. Will an expansion of the Army and a few surprises turn us green with envy?

Welcome to Penguin’s GRL Ratings for Week Two. The end of Week One saw seventeen of twenty-four Pro League matches played. The results for these games have been put into our magical number machine and the results are out!

This week we have a fancy lookin’ chart of all the info you’re looking for! The left hand side of the chart shows the current numbers for each team and the change relative to last week, while the right shows the predicted results for this coming week’s matches.

You’ll need to click on the chart in order to view it properly, as it’s quite large.

The biggest movers over the last week were the following teams:

Galloping Seagulls (+57.2)
Power Outage (+55.9)
Dude, Where’s the Runner? (+46.0)

Crayola Magic (-47.5)
Shut Your Lips and Learn (-40.9)
American Dream (40.2)

The biggest upset saw Power Outage defeat Shut Your Lips and Learn despite being 18 to 82 Per Cent underdogs. This week’s highlight matches include:

Biggest match (Highest combined Rating minus Rating Difference):
Secret Society of Extraordinary Citizens vs. +1 Zing (1049.07)
Secret Society of Extraordinary Citizens vs. The Galloping Seaguls (1049.07)

Biggest Walkover Prediction (Highest rating difference):
Cat in the Hat Crew (89.11%) vs Team Red Ray (10.89%)

Closest Match (Closest Ratings):
Scuba Squad (50.36%) vs. Str8 Griffin (49.64%)

Tune in again next week for the next update to Penguin’s GRL Ratings!

I’ve been told by Nokyard that he has a secret in regards to double XP weekend. Apparently you need to look for four words. What are those words? No idea. He wouldn’t tell me. Sooo, happy hunting!

I’m very proud to announce that this fall, GrifballHub will be in the house. Representing the Hub and sporting their shiny new staff t-shirts will be HighlndHellrazr, Goosechecka, I CITI I, Seanzie and possibly Dragon as well.

For the first time at PAX Grifball will be represented by not only the Rooster Teeth staff, but we will also be hosting a 1 hour panel! The panel will include our savior, our hero, our deity – BurnieBurns! Alongside Burnie will be our Grifball Commish – PP Moocow PP – as well as all the Grifball Admins (HighlndHellrazr, I CITI I & LBCountry) and Leo from Grifball.org.

We plan on sharing lots of great information with the community, some you’ve heard before and some brand spanking new info that’ll be a surprise to all! Hub specific items will include our mission/goals, our community projects (Grifball Gives Back, Bum Rushes, etc.), and an exclusive video! What is it you ask? Tune it at PAX to find out – or watch the HUB on Sunday, September 6th for the public release! While I personally will not be there, I will be helping put together something special for Highlnd to include during his time on the panel.

Goose and Highlnd will also be taking the time to interview gamers from around the country on their experience with Grifball. We hope to video tape these interviews and get them up on the Hub as soon as we can! We may even have a VERY special live stream from Grifball Central (aka Highlnd’s hotel room) which will include the entire Grifball Admin team, Goose, Kal and who knows who else will turn up! It could be lolzy! *Please note for legal purposes those viewers under the age of 18 may require a legal parent or guardian to be present while watching this broadcast!*

The panel will take place on Saturday, September 5th, 2009 from 8:30 to 9:30 PST. For more information about the convention, you should check out the PAX website.