the Podbusker Blog

Amazon broke my Kindles, old and new

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Sun, 04 May 2025 11:01:00 +0000

I am thoroughly disgusted with Amazon right now, especially as regards their treatment of my Kindles.

I have owned four or five Kindles over the years. My oldest, my Kindle Touch, is in many ways my favorite. I've also owned two or three of the 2015 era Kindles, including an HD model I gave to my sister. Both my 2015s I rooted so I could run Google Play on them. Worked fine, such as they were. My latest is a Kindle Fire HD 8+, which includes Alexa functionality. I added Google Play on that too, without having to root it. Really quite useful as a low-cost Android tablet, and plenty for my purposes.

And then...

The other day I got a notice that the tablet was archiving apps I hadn't used for a while. I hadn't asked for that so I was a bit disconcerted. Then I wanted to use the Fire to look at my medical records via my local hospital and Firefox, my chosen viewer. Not there. Checked the archiving app. Not there. Google Play is gone along with the apps I'd installed via Google Play, including my web browser. And my access to my medical records -- I'm dealing with Multiple Myeloma -- is no longer available on my best Kindle Fire. (Amazon doesn't call it a Kindle anymore. Fuck 'em.)

I can still consume Amazon content on my 8 incher -- gee thanks guys -- so I'm reading a barely adequate book via my Kindle Unlimited subscription. Yes, I still have that, I have read a lot for a long while, and I can at least see on the Kindle. So, warm sunny day out, sat out on the porch to read. The 8+ doesn't do well in bright sun, so I went to switch to my aged Kindle Touch ...

And was asked for a Passcode.

I never put a passcode on my Touch. Didn't want to, didn't know it was even possible. So I couldn't access my Touch anymore. Did a search and found how to reset the thing with just a Passcode, did that, and then found re-registering doesn't work. So my Kindle Touch is useless to me, too. Supposedly it'd work, but now Amazon no longer considers it to be my Touch. And yes, I found another entry on how to register using the OTP, that didn't work, either.

Of the two remaining Kindles that I rooted, one quit to black -- probably the battery -- and I haven't tried the other. I want my 8+ back, with all the apps I added. And Google Playstore, too, given Amazon decided to dump their own Appstore.

I'm old, I'm on Social Security, and I can't afford another tablet. Sigh. Amazon, what the hell are you doing?

Terrified

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Mon, 14 Apr 2025 05:44:00 +0000

Right now I feel terrified.

I'm living off my Social Security checks. I have a number of debts I can't afford to pay, and keep getting hit with more judgements demanding money I don't have and am not earning. I tried to contact a lawyer through something called Justice North and was told pursuing bankruptcy for me would be pointless, since Social Security -- and SSDI, which I aged out of -- aren't subject to garnishment. That was the last and only thing the Justice North lawyer offered.

I have five medical conditions that leave me mostly unemployable, including cancer. And I have no idea who to ask for help. One of my medical conditions is PTSD, which leaves me terrified about just about everything anyway. Osteoarthritis, glaucoma, Autism, PTSD, and Multiple Myeloma. Honestly, if I ran a business and had a choice, I wouldn't hire me if I could hire a younger healthy person. I want to be able to pay off my debts, but I can't see how I can. I don't own anything to secure a loan -- don't own a home or a car. And the Myeloma, ironically, means I couldn't even sell a kidney if that was legal.

I have a little writing ability, and I used to be a podcaster. So I guess I have some talents. But my talents, my skills, my jobs, are now done by AI.

I don't even know who to ask for help. American Cancer Society? Maybe, I dunno.

And a little dictation?

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Mon, 10 Mar 2025 09:31:00 +0000

Decided to try a little automatic dictation using the mechanism built into Windows 10. Basically by pressing windows dash H, you get a mechanism that is designed for speech to text transcription, what they call dictation, that should allow large scale recording of input. It isn't ideal, but if one is one of those folks that could speak off the cuff and produce quality output, I can see it being very useful indeed.

A little fun with old tech

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Mon, 10 Mar 2025 09:24:00 +0000

Having a bit of fun tonight with some old tech that I used to use heavily (and may I say brilliantly) back in the 1990s. WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS.

I have an ancient copy of WP from way back when, and used a setup with a DOS... emulator? Anyway, a DOS box running inside Windows 10 called vDOS, which is pre-configured to work specifically with WP. Nice thing about WP DOS (not so much the Windows versions) was its focus initially on inputting content -- creating correspondence or news articles first, long before one gets to the point of worrying about formats and layouts. I prefer this way of working. Create good content, and formatting is a matter of not screwing it up. Format first, and to me the content is weaker and less valuable. Maybe "The medium is the message," or part of it. But it isn't all of the message, and after a certain point the medium gets in the way of effective messaging.

WP DOS lets me write the way I write this blog, content first. But it also does fully-justified text by default. Software that can import from WP DOS produces output that may be simpler, but has a better shot at high quality content. Hard to explain, I suppose. If you know what I mean, it's obvious, and if you don't, you might never get the point.

I'm not a brilliant writer. But WP DOS, I think, allows me to be a better writer than I might otherwise have been.

Another thing I suspect from my experience. I was an early adopter of what was called "desktop publishing." I'd create newsletters and flyers, taking advantage of the fairly new graphic tools available in the 90s. But the impact of Microsoft Word and other software with similar design philosophy has created so much "pretty" junkmail that I don't think people even look at a lot of the content. It's a blur and discarded before reading more than the apparent headlines and glancing at the pictures.

Even DTP based on work from WP DOS tended to be better, because the first task was saying what needed to be said. Layout and art and such was all secondary. You got more meaningful material, and people expected that -- back when news was news and not just clickbait and top 10 lists (said the old guy).

Back in the Saddle Again?

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Mon, 03 Mar 2025 06:06:00 +0000

Had an inquiry for some voicework, narrating a poem by GK Chesterton. So possibly back in the saddle, albeit in a small way. Or a more suitable title might be "40 Days in the Saddle, by Major Assburns." :-)

We'll see how it turns out, okay?

Griz

Beginning to Start Initial Efforts to ...

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Sun, 02 Mar 2025 10:00:00 +0000

My longform content has, well, been mostly nonexistent for a long time. Last time I posted a new podcast was 2023, obvious when you look. And I said at the time I was going to record John Stuart Mill's "Subjection of Women." And then, well, I didn't. And haven't.

Not even sure I spelled Mill's name right, it's been so long.

I am trying to get my butt back in gear. With the chaos of the last few months (since being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma), it's a big step forward to be wearing pants. Okay, maybe a little exaggeration there.

I will likely have to do podcasts in quick and dirty mode for a while. I'm way out of practice, and the quality tricks I used habitually Back Then are simply forgotten now. I have to sand off the rust and recreate such skills as I used to have, or more likely new techniques entirely.

Bear with me. Turns out cancer is kinda stressful, and moreso when one adds in PTSD. (Read about the symptoms of PTSD for yourself from your own search. Even my apparently casual tone may derive from PTSD itself.) I definitely have the former, and appear to have the latter according to what I've gotten from the local County Veterans Service Agency or CVSA. Though I had inquired about it on the off chance, I was surprised when they came back with "we think based on our records that you actually do have PTSD." I ended up putting myself in-patient in the Psych areas of Essentia Health - Duluth to find out what exactly that means, what to watch for and so on. Learned little -- and found that some folks close to me aren't entirely convinced I have PTSD. As usual, I'm baffled and confused, but it does make sense of some recent behavioral changes on my part.

Anyway... I'm dusting off some old hardware and software and seeing if I can regain some old skills I used to have. For example, there was a time when I was very effective with WordPerfect 5.1 for DOS. Yes, I mean DOS from Way Back in the Last Millenium. There was a time when I was very employable, not really for skill with that software, but for skill writing correspondence and articles, which derived from using that tool, much better for Actual Writing than Microsoft Word. Tricky to get WP-DOS working under Win10, but doable. Still figuring out how.

I might also look at whatever is current for WP under Windows -- not an ideal solution, but likely easier to implement. If the newer versions don't allow for creating the content before creating the format of the content, then they are simply a step backward. WP-DOS was best for typing what I wanted to say, and then figuring out how to format it, selecting fonts and such. If I can make it work, I may even regain some of my old abilities as a writer. This blog seems better than it was, simply because I'm just writing without first formatting. Maybe my need to do that is rare?

So please be patient with me, and I'll try to become once again that fella I used to be. Who would not have used "fella" in the above sentence. Baby steps, okay?

-- Griz

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Fri, 28 Feb 2025 23:03:00 +0000

As it turns out, (a) although my service was during peacetime (I was stationed in New Mexico, and we aren't at war with Mexico ... yet) I am considered a fully-fledged Veteran with all the whatchamacallits and doohickeys thereunto appertaining, etc. Whatever those are. (b) I have been told by fellow veterans at Essentia "well of course you're eligible," which is nice. Eligible for what, I don't exactly know.

I've had several moments of "flying off the handle," as the saying used to go When I Was A Boy. It was at best extremely unpleasant to those impacted by my behavior, including me. Likely this was due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. The VA appears to have concluded that I actually suffer from PTSD. I'm not particularly shy about it. Four years with the 148th Tac Recon Group, which I gather now is the 148th Fighter Wing, last I looked. A little Inactive Reserve time and most of another two years active USAF, making up my 6 year obligation. If I hadn't been discharged (don't get me started ... no, really, DON'T), I'd likely have retired more than 20 years ago.

I spent the last several days in the Essentia Psych wards trying to find out what the term actually means, what I should watch for and what I should expect. As to who else was there, those are not my stories to tell. In older terms, none of your damn business, and for that matter, none of my damn business either.

I'm going to do what I might have done before I sent myself to the Psych wards and do a bit of Googling to learn some more. I knew (from movies and TV) that combat veterans could be subject to PTSD, and it looks damn serious there. I do keep getting asked whether the VA is covering my care -- but of course their coverage of my PTSD only applies to that, not the cancer, glaucoma or other conditions that did not arise from my service. I am not entirely baffled by it -- only mostly baffled. Oh, well, once more into the breach dear friends, once more...

Griz

PS. Mike McLaughlin from the St Louis County CVSA... call me if you can. Not sure if my one remaining VOIP line can get inbound calls. (sigh)

A Social Worker's call

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 23:32:00 +0000

I don't even know how to explain this. Mike McLaughlin from the CVSA said I needed to talk to a Social Worker. Fine, Social Workers are caring people. So she calls me, and I miss the call because I had to wait on hold for AT&T. My sister, who's my care giver, wouldn't stay there and handle the 15-some minutes of "your call is important to us," when I was calling to get my phone, deactivated by Tracfone after I was a customer since 2002, reactivated, because she thought AT&T wouldn't want my business. I wanted to save my cellphone number, which I'm losing because Tracfone found the phone I'd been using with them since I got it, a perfectly fine Samsung Galaxy S7, won't work with the sim Verizon sent me. Because it needs AT&Ts towers. Locked? What do I care, I need to save my cellphone number so people can verify my identity -- insecurely, but what can I do?

"Your call is important to us." So why was I on hold for 15 minutes? How long does a _very_ important call wait? Was I too important, or not important enough? I'm Autistic. Autistic people get confused sometimes. But I missed this call from this caring Social Worker I was looking forward to.

Finally got back and called the Social Worker back. I asked if I was eligible for VA health coverage. She thought I was, but had to send a form off to get me on her docket or whatever so she would be allowed to call me. But she was already on the phone with me...

So I asked if she needed the form. "Yes, so I can call you on my whatchamacallit." But she was already on the phone with me, just before 5 pm this was. "I have another meeting to get to," the Social Worker said. "I have to call you back tomorrow to do a 30-minute survey to make sure you're eligible." ????

"Do you need the form?" "Well, I need to get you on my docket so I can call you tomorrow." "We can't get this done tonight?" I wondered if she was protecting me from something. "No, I have to call you back tomorrow to..." "But Microsoft is shutting off the Skype Number service, so I dunno if you'll even be able to." I don't know if she understood me, because she was talking while I was talking. I asked if I was being rude: no. I asked if she was being rude by talking over me: also no... wait...

I told her I was Rev Dr David "Grizzly" Smith, DDHC, Honorus causa that last bit is, an honorary degree I got from ULC, that church you don't think is a real church. I asked her once again if I was being rude, asking her to get the 30 minute call done now so I could be eligible for my VA benefits now, which Mike McLaughlin, a fellow USAF veteran, says I should be.

"I have another meeting." Apparently after 5 pm. But she couldn't do her 30 minute call for tomorrow, because she has to send this form off to another department, because Policy. I called her back, she's on the phone with me, she's not being rude talking over me... And she confirmed repeatedly I'm not being rude to her...

But she wouldn't complete the 30-minute call she was already on so I could be eligible right away and say so to Essentia Health Duluth. She said she didn't need the form, but "I have another meeting" when I was requesting to get the call done with in case I lost the use of my Skype Number...

But she wasn't being rude? I'm sorry, I'm autistic, I miss things, why wouldn't it be rude for her to talk over me? Why isn't it rude to tell me she won't finish giving me my benefits because "I have another meeting," and "policy..."

Can someone explain this to me?

Rev Dr David "Grizzly" Smith, DDHC

ULC considers me a minister (one who ministers to others, cares for them) and a Doctor of Divinity Honorus Causa, "Caused by Honor." The USAF considers me an honorably discharged veteran who is eligible for VA benefits. I'm also Autistic, have osteoarthritis, maccular degeneration in my left eye due to glaucoma, and Multiple Myeloma. But she has "another meeting," and has to send a form elsewhere so she can call me back tomorrow to say so. But she's already on the phone with me. But "I have another meeting." I want to complete the 30 minute call while we're on the phone right now, but...

Can someone explain this to me in a way that makes sense? Mike, fellow USAF veteran, can you explain why her "another meeting" was more important than finishing with me?

Griz

Oh, brave new world, that has such people in't!!!

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 19:46:00 +0000

Shakespeare, remember him? Dead what, a few centuries anyway. Do your own research, google it and find out, you brilliant people who elected a half-wit thug and a bully to be your President because he promised to stop bugging you about taking responsibility for your own actions.

I'd say this on my podcast, but Libsyn who have my podcast won't let me go from this blog to Libsyn because they say I don't have an account... after podcasting there since 02/04/2007 or so. They still have my content, but they're not sure who I am. But I'm rude, ain't I? Just some old guy, ten years younger than President Beavis, who hates military veterans like me, and disabled people like me. He's my President, this guy who hates me?

He wants America to be great, like it was when my Dad fought the Nazis in World War II, and came back home a wounded veteran with a Purple Heart... this fella who hates my late father, who was a wounded veteran? My brother, a Disabled American Veteran? Me, a peacetime veteran and not a DAV because I didn't go into combat?

Let's Make America Great Again, and ignore the so-called Greatest Generation, because President Beavis' dad didn't go get wounded in Africa. First American shell was fired at the Germans in Africa, fired by the 175 Field Artillery Division, my Dad's unit. Who came back a wounded veteran. Embarrassed to talk about the purple heart he hid in is dresser drawer, because it was a small thing. He was in Africa, and Sicily, and Italy, and was there when the D-Day invasion took place. And he was too proud to let people see his Purple Heart... No, I'm not crying, you are. He's my President? Go back and find the time when he asked to be my leader, this guy who hates people like me...

Just got off the phone with Mike McLaughlin the rep from the county's CVSA. Like an asshole -- though that's only a part of me -- I sent a nastygram to the County's communication manager about Mike not taking my call. You'd think a peacetime vet with an IQ of 141 would be smarter than that, hell, people keep calling me a genius... I cheated on the IQ test, I'm probably not that smart at all! Genius is 160, I'm only 141 after cheating?

Besides, and I mean this in a nice way, Geniuses seem to be rather annoying and arrogant because they're by-God Geniuses. And you think I'm annoying and arrogant? Geee... thanks...

Website thought I wanted an emoji because my fingers slipped off and hit the wrong key. I can't even see emojis on those teensy phone screens, why am I being asked to use them? I'm half blind from Glaucoma, maccular degeneration in my left eye, and I should use this stupid little picture I can't really see? Seriously?

Where was I? Oh, Mike, wonderful guy, called me on my Skype Number, my last remaining phone number, and apologized for not taking my call because he was already with a veteran, and his female sidekick -- maybe a Secretary, I was one for nine years and respect the job -- thought she should say "we have what we need..." And I got angry about that. What an asshole, huh? Still think I'm a genius?

But Microsoft is eliminating Skype Numbers because "nobody" uses them. So now I'm nobody, according to Microsoft. I talked to them on the phone, and they were very apologetic, but are still shutting it down. I don't get why. I suppose it costs them money, and it's just for me. I'm fine, it's not even one of the bad cancers. Still got too much hair and everything. Dave Crosby said,

Almost cut my hair, just the other day,

It was gettin' kinda long, I coulda said it just wasn't my way,

But I didn't, and I wonder why, I keep lettin' my freak flag fly,

Cause I feel like I owe it to someone...

That's from "Almost Cut My Hair" by Crosby Stills and Nash as I recall. Among other baffling aspects is talking to the young folks (even as I consider myself not that old) who don't recognize the song. (Kids these days...) They also don't know what I mean by "my freak flag," for that matter. I'm a lot younger than Dave Crosby was when he passed, let's leave it at that.

I think he'd not mind, sad he's gone now, we had some nice chats on Twitter back before the DOGE guy ruined it. Why Department of Government Efficiency and not Department of Presidential Efficiency? Some reason they didn't want to use DOPE? Why do you think they didn't call it DOPE?

Griz

PS. I hate political rants (like this one) and gratuitous cussing, which is why I didn't try doing this with speech-to-text...

Hey Leo Laporte! (waves wildly)

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 07:36:00 +0000

Hey, @Leo! Baffling problem. It appears Twit.social won't let me back in because I used one of those randomized passwords I've gotten to like. Doesn't fit the password standard -- so effectively, it's not accepted *after it's changed to that* because it's too secure.

Any thoughts, Leo? Leave a comment, I'll try to remember to check them while running back and forth for chemo and such. Laterz!

Griz

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 19:41:00 +0000

Hey, Libsyn!!!! (waves)

Email provided doesn't have a valid My Libsyn account. To access the podcast I've been producing since 02/04/2007??? My gmail email that I use to access this blog, isn't valid to let me back in my own podcast? And that's not a problem?

Griz

Guys... seriously, I prefer to podcast, but if you insist I go back to just blogging, Libsyn... I don't have an account, for my own podcast? What is up with y'all?

First do no harm

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 17:58:00 +0000

I see I have a video consult for this psych eval. Did I say that was a good idea, doing it over the web with Epic's busted-ass system that won't work right with my hardware -- which I already know because their 24/7 on-demand system doesn't? Did anyone ask me? Oh, yeah, right, it's my fault you didn't ask. That old oath to gods of the Greek pantheon didn't start "first do what's convenient," it was "first do no harm." Am I wrong about that?

Call me. Oh, wait, you can't. Procedures.

Griz

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 17:20:00 +0000

My home nurse, who my sister insisted was responsible for filling my medication sorter, and who already has a MyChart account, Diane from Aveanna, who I was going to protect by just calling her the oh-so cutesy Nurse Nancy... (sigh)

She started talking to her boss (who she said would fire her for using the tablet he provided) while she was supposed to be caring for her patient, me. She who was "listening..." to me. Talking to her boss who doesn't know how to use the big-ass laptops he paid for on the phone, while "listening." I called her on it, "I'm just a nurse!" And irritable about it. I trusted her and she called the cops on me because I was yelling at my big sister.

My sister insisted Nurse Nancy was going to fill my meds sorter for me. But "I'm just a nurse!" Stomped out of my house because I got mad at her for talking to him instead of listening to me.

And now my pill sorter, with little white pills and yellow pills, is empty, because she didn't fill it. And I owe her an apology? "Forgive them Father, they know not what they do." I don't know what she does. So now I can't take my morning pills because I have to go bottle-by-bottle to find the ones I'm supposed to take. You can send an ambulance, but not someone who can hand me the right pills to take? That's someone else's responsibility, and We Have Procedures.

I was a stranger, and you took me in. Where are the people who did that? Buried under a pile of procedures, or laws? Turned into pillars of salt? No, you can't call me -- my phones don't work. And don't call Julie, she does the same thing and thinks she's owed an apology, and that Nurse Nancy who refused to Nurse is owed an apology for leaving because of my anger at her not listening.

Eloi, eloi, lamai sabachtani?

Griz

MyChart decided my note to my PCP was too long, to protect me... so I'm putting it here. So long and thanks for all the Security, as Douglas Adams almost said.

Who's to bless and who's to blame?

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 16:30:00 +0000

Oh, my fucking God. My home nurse who I love dearly and trusted implicitly wouldn't let me explain to her boss that he was violating ADA by not giving me access to my own records on the machine my insurance helps pay for. Aveanna. She told me he'd fire her if I tried to tell him. I told my PCP that. The genius autistic guy, she so admires, Nurse Nancy.

"I'm listening" while talking to her boss who was going to fire her on the phone. Listening? Right. Interrupts me and I'm being rude for yelling about her not listening. Then she storms out, my nurse who I trusted. And the understanding woman who called the cops because she thought I was a threat to my sister. My sister didn't think I was a threat. The cops were baffled why they were even called. And everyone and no one is listening.

And no one, including my PCP from Essentia can figure out why I'm stressed and anxious. "Take these pills to fix the anxiety!!!" How about fixing the problems I'm anxious about? How about fixing your busted-ass procedures? Can't because everyone is terrified they'll have to be responsible for their own actions. And they're protecting me so well with their 2VA that I can't use their online services, like twit.social. They're protecting me by keeping me from using services I can't afford but can't live without. Security? Why do you think I -need- anti-anxiety medications in the first place?

People I trust. "I'm your nurse!" Nurses aren't supposed to care about the patient more than the Procedures? They aren't supposed to care about actually obeying the law (ADA, HIPPA) rather than following the Procedure?

I'd have shown this to Nurse Nancy from Aveanna first, but she was so busy listening -- while talking to her boss who was going to fire her for following the law on the phone -- an then telling him "see, I told you he's being unreasonable!" I told her to get the hell out.

Her boss (who she said would fire her for using the big-ass tablet he provided to show me my own records in my own house) was on the phone. And she was telling him how unreasonable I was being about them not violating the Americans with Disabilities Act by denying me visible access to my own records. The guy she said was going to fire her. But she was "listening."

Who's in charge? The ignorant thug and bully you just elected President? Who wants to run the government like a business? And not like a government, because he couldn't be bothered to understand how a government is supposed to work? Because he was busy running his business -- that doesn't pay it's bills and declares bankruptcy just to avoid paying bills or taxes?

God *damn* I hate political rants and fucking cussing! Do I owe you a fucking apology yet? Do I owe you one, Nurse Nancy? You said you liked me calling you Nancy, wouldn't come to see me when I needed your help, and now "I'm just your nurse!" Listening politely while talking to your boss who was going to fire you on the phone.

Was going to fire you because he's protecting me, a half-blind guy, from seeing my own records in my own house on my own wifi... because the procedure says he can't. The ADA says he has to for this old half-blind guy. I have to hand her my tablet with my info on it, and she's got this huge tablet, and her boss is going to fire her because the half-blind patient wants to be able to see it on the big-ass tablet she walked in with?

Who's in charge? Let's see if I can quote that Kris Kristofferson song, to make a point:

From memory.

"If a cheated man's a loser,

And if cheaters never win,

And if beggars can't be choosers

Till they're weak and wealthy men,

And the old keep getting older,

And the young must do the same,

And it's never getting better...

Whose to bless and who's to blame?"

God bless. Who knows, maybe there actually is one. Beats me.

Griz

An Important followup

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 16:03:00 +0000

Don't you even think about blaming my PCP or anyone involved with my care from Essentia, the folks who saved my life. They follow the procedures they were told to follow. I'd kick the ass of whoever gave them those busted-ass procedures, but I'm a 66-year-old with cancer and that'd not be likely to go well. And anyway, nobody knows who that is, but they're "Procedures," and medical professionals follow procedures or they're Bad Doctors.

My PCP, a Nurse Practicioner, thinks I can't call her "Doctor." What the actual fuck, "Doctor" is an earned title, not a fucking job title -- though "Doctor *of Medicine" is. All these people went to college. This from my fading memory, so look it the fuck up. "Colleges" used to be Collegia. Three top ranks: Bachelor, just a run-of-the-mill smart guy. Master, boss of some of the Bachelors. Doctor: Fully knowledgeable and able to teach, and of course teaching, that's why they became a doctor. Collegia. Look it up. Do your own research. Then tell me about it and show your work, since you did all that research...

What, you smirking smug bastard, you think I'm not talking to you? Pull your head out. Look it up, tell me I'm wrong if I am. Who's in charge? Y'all just elected a thug and a bully to run the country's government "like a business." I'm autistic, and sure as hell not an expert on autism, but I've known bullies since my first day of kindergarten -- an autistic kid with a too-large head, and some fat bastard named Bruce (no guys, the Bruce we know and love wasn't *this* Bruce) calls me "basketball head." I spent the rest of elementary school crying and not wanting to go to school. And Mrs Gallagher the principal kept calling me into the office and telling me I shouldn't fight. Never saw her call in the kids who'd tell my gullible child self "That guy over there wants to fight you," so I did. I was Autistic. What did you think it means?

He hates veterans. I'm a veteran. He hates disabled people. I am Autistic, I have osteoarthritis, maccular degeneration due to glaucoma in my left eye, so no depth perception, and Multiple Myeloma as of October 15 of 2024. I got laid off from my work-from-home job just before my 62nd birthday because my employers, CleaResult couldn't afford to keep me on -- and my work from home depended on other people who went out to install free stuff in people's houses. And nobody wanted strangers in their houses -- which was damn smart of them.

So now I'm "retired." Living off too-small SSDI checks. And the companies that gave me all those credit cards while I was working are taking me to court to grab the money they were so anxious to lend me, because now with my SSDI checks I can't afford to pay them. USAA is doing their best. So are all the Good Guys, probably including you, the reader. But "we have rules and procedures." I want to pay the cards, but please God don't fix it by handing me charity. Fix the busted-ass rules and procedures. The thug and bully you just elected President doesn't know how, admits it, and hires sycophants to tell him he's doing just fine. Like the other genius, Musk. Sure, asshole, take me to court for telling the world you're dumb as a stump and screwing up the Federal government. DOGE? You mean like the Doge, or ruler, of Venice?

Department of Government Efficiency. Why not Department of Presidential Efficiency, or DOPE? Why do you think they *don't* call it DOPE?

And before you laugh... I hate fucking cussing with a passion, and I hate fucking political rants. Like this one. But nobody is listening, with all the best will and best intentions in the world. Judge yourself by your results, not your intentions, lest ye be judged. Sound at all familiar?

Rev Dr David "Grizzly" Smith, DDHC, ULC

Oh, shut up and call me Griz, damn it! DDHC, no secret, stands for "Doctor of Divinity Honorus Causa." "Honorary Cause," it's Latin. It's an honorary degree I bought from the ULC that you don't respect, so stop trying to bullshit me. "What does the ULC believe?" Whatever the individual ULC preacher believes. We don't all believe one thing, we just believe. Ya know, like in Freedom of Religion? "There are faith and hope and love these three, and the greatest of these is love." Show some love, will ya, and stop pointing fingers with the one you pick your nose with anyway. Dignity my hairy old white ass.

To paraphrase Will Rogers, "I belong to no organized religion, I'm a Democrat." The founders wanted no political parties at all, and said so. Then the Federalists turned into a political party. Then Thomas Jefferson started the Democratic Republican Party. Then it split into Democrats and Republicans. Similar? They're two parts of one party. And the solution is... more political parties? Seriously?

Who's in charge now?

An open letter to Essentia Health of Duluth. He who hath ears to hear, let him hear

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 15:10:00 +0000

I just tried that '24/7 on demand thing. Oh My Effing God what useless crap. Hope they heard me say so over my mike...

And I wanted to beg you for an ADHD evaluation very very soon. I'm not able to function at the moment with symptoms identical to what I've read of ADHD. You know I've been very good for a very long time with computers. Constant midstream distractions are keeping me from doing what I do. Might be that Anxiety, sure. But I recall the same from my childhood, with some truly brilliant elementary school teachers -- one who won an award, who's name escapes me. Mrs Fillenworth, maybe?

So schedule the eval, due to the controlled substances like Adderal (and yes I might need some). But I need help now. I can't live my life like this, anxiety notwithstanding. Thanks.

Griz

PS. "What, no Autism?" ADHD is now part of the Autistic Spectrum according to the DSM, as I recall. Is that correct?

Griz

I suspect I'm suffering from clinical depression. I don't know why I hesitate to say it or to tell you. I actually believe it. But I find myself telling myself "I've never had clinical depression." But given I don't actually know what it is, how can I be sure I don't have it?

I'm not a genius, sure. But I'm not this non-functional. I'm sitting in front of the computer trying to do things. I know what to do -- I've been doing this since high school in 1976. So why do I sit here, knowing what to do, and not doing it, and angry because it hasn't happened yet?

Something is seriously wrong, and I need help. But I find it hard to ask, even knowing I need the help. I never ask for anything. But I get angry when people don't give me what I never asked for. I get angry for reasons I don't understand myself. I come up with ideas why I'm angry, but I know they're not true. So why do I believe them? There aren't any diseases I understand that would cause that. I believe myself to be honest with myself. So why am I lying to myself? PTSD? Clinical depression? Something I've never heard of? I know a bit, but I don't know everything.

And I keep getting angry that other people believe I do know everything. Why should that be a problem? Please find me someone to talk to, very very soon, who can help me figure this out. I'm not even sure why, or how I feel about it. But something is seriously wrong here.

Griz

PS. I don't know -- so why am I afraid to ask?

This morning, trying to talk to my sister who I love (and who won't let me tell her that because I'd feel bad), keeps thinking I need to apologize to all of you folks at Essentia. People who saved my fucking life... and who aren't mad at me... and I need to apologize? But maybe I do. Switching to speech-to-text because I'm tired of typing after doing it for 20 years. This is me voice typing. I can't call you, because both my cell phones are not working. The windows system for doing transcription is ****** ** there's no one there to tell . My chart is ****** ** . There is someone in charge the folks who sold you the crap wear . But nobody knows that. I owe you an apology for not forcing you to actually get your busted system that they sold you replaced. But none of you know who's in charge of it, so I can tell them can't tell them ... And you can figure out why I'm anxious??? Here take more pills!!! I'm a night person who has to come in for appointments during the day. You have a hospital across town , that i can easily get to, and get downtown from there but your system won't let me do that when I can afford to do it myself.

**** you don't know why I'm anxious ? You just give me more pills, because that's our procedure . Fix your **** or I have to go to the other hospital and I don't wanna do that . Am i clear enough yet? Signed grizz not grizzly not David grizz

Why not go there? Because you're doing your best. With the procedures you have... But you don't wanna change your procedures which are ****** ** because there are procedures. Went to the emergency room on a Saturday night. Fall of highly trained people who could have helped., but quote we need you need to talk to your PCP UN quote. I have to tell this busted *** dictation software how to type. Character by character. I have one way to get text messages using Skype. Microsoft is shutting down Skype. And they feel bad about it, but they won't stop shutting it down, because I can't talk to the person in charge to tell them they're screwing up! And y'all won't let me talk to the people who are responsible, because apparently no one is. That's why you don't know who it is has... This dictation software is also screwed up. I can't tell them, because everyone is afraid to be in charge. So do I owe you an apology for telling you that? My sister Julie thinks I do... I'd call you, but the only way I can get the number is by calling the operator, who doesn't ******* know who I'm supposed to talk to either, and nobody can can fix that I know how... But I can't talk to the person who can fix it. Paragraph... Do I owe you an apology??? Please God get your busted *** systems fixed!!! I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. Look up what that means on Google if you want.

I would have put this on MyChart, but MyChart doesn't want me to write this out longform. And you know who's in charge of deciding to replace this crapware? Epic. The company that is charging you for it. The Emperor has no clothes.

Griz

One reason one more reason I can't call you, and you can't call me, is because Tracfone (Now owned by Verizon) won't activate my "unsuitable" cell phones, which need AT&T style towers. Do I need to apologize to Verizon? "Can you hear me now?" No, because you won't activate the cellphones, including the one Tracfone just sold me, because they're "unsuitable." Brand new, but unsuitable. But no, let's not be wasteful by paying to use AT&T's towers so my "unsuitable" cellphones will work.

I believe I told you that. So why do your nurses want want to have you call me back??? Multi $1,000,000 phone system you don't know how to use, nobody's in charge of fixing it, I know how to get it fixed, I could do the quote impossible UN quote back in the 90s with a much simpler system. But nobody wants to be in charge and get it fixed. (And if I call back, the operator can't direct me to the person at Essentia who just called me and whose call I'm returning.)

And they tell me I need to talk to you, my PCP. So i'm talking to you and telling you what's wrong. That's why I'm anxious. You didn't ask. Your procedure said give me pills. I'm sorry you did that. Is that enough apology? Am I being rude? Julie thinks I am, and she thinks you should be mad at me. Are you? I have to keep switching on the so-called dictation software. And it doesn't do paragraphs. And everybody says they're listening, but they won't let me fix that busted *** phone system, because nobody knows who's in charge... Or if they do, they think it's a big ******* secret. And they don't want to let me talk to them, because capital letters procedures. Figured out why I'm figured out have you figured out why I am exhausted and anxious yet? No, you can't call me my phones don't take inbound calls... No I can't call you, my phone system the one that works, doesn't know the number.but you don't do house calls . Procedure . Rules. And no one's in charge. Signed grizz send it

Come to think, Leo Laporte, you should read this too. I can't get logged into your Mastodon site to tell you I can't get logged into your Mastodon site. The above says why I can't call you, and I don't remember your email. Because I'm being protected, for my security... You are only a year older than I am, and you don't know how to fix this without me calling you on the effing phone? Leo, are you okay? What the hell is wrong?

Griz

GG20231124 -- Coming (Hopefully) Soon

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 10:57:00 +0000

Show Theme: "Hot Swing" from Kevin MacLeod

Listen now?

Hiber-Nation 127 -- On Liberty by John Stuart Mill Chapter 5 - LAST CHAPTER

noreply@blogger.com (David Grizzly Smith) — Thu, 06 Jul 2023 18:08:00 +0000