Grouchy Rabbit

Realized

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:49 GMT

No matter how many pencils you buy at the beginning of the school year, you will always end up losing them before second semester.

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Signs that things aren't going so well

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:48 GMT

"One size fits all" doesn't apply to you.

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Definition

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:47 GMT

Pilgrims (noun) - The original illegal immigrants.

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Realized

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:46 GMT

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting another woman fatter than her.

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Definition

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:45 GMT

Keychain (noun) - A ring invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.

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Fact

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:44 GMT

The Spanish word for wife is the same as the Spanish word for handcuffs.

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Signs that things aren't going so well

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:43 GMT

The call is coming from inside the house.

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Tips for success

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:42 GMT

If at first you don't succeed never fear, failure may be your thing...

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Realized

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:41 GMT

When you're drunk, toilets and sinks are synonymous.

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Definition

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:40 GMT

Baby (noun) - An "I've had sex" trophy.

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Signs that things aren't going so well

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:39 GMT

Your mom puts extra butter in your food, so that you look fatter than she does.

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Signs that things aren't going so well

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:38 GMT

You love kids. You just ate two for breakfast.

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Signs that things aren't going so well

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:37 GMT

Your hand got stuck in the Pringles tube.

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Realized

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:36 GMT

90's kids constantly brag about their childhood shows but fail to recognize that their entire generation is characterized solely by the cartoons they watched.

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Fact

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:35 GMT

A watched status never gets liked.

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Realized

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:34 GMT

Scarecrow is a zombie. All he really wanted was a brain.

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To do list

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:33 GMT

Empty a bottle of vodka. Fill the bottle with water. Bring it to school and drink in class. Watch the teacher's jaw drop.

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Tips for success

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:32 GMT

If you are accused of something, you might as well do it.

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Fact

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:31 GMT

Chances are, most of your cash has been in a stripper's bra.

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To do list

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 02:52:30 GMT

Become teacher. Write test. Make all of the answers C.

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