Before car racing, checkered flags were used only as symbols of surrender following skirmishes between chess clubs. Embrace progress with today’s Groupon: for $44, you get a go-kart-racing package for two at K1 Speed (up to a $92 total value) in Anaheim or Irvine. The package includes:

• Four Arrive and Drive go-kart races, which can be used by one or two people (up to an $80 value)
• Annual race licenses for two people (a $6 value each)

The races may be redeemed at K1’s Anaheim and Irvine locations, and the race licenses are valid at any K1 location.

With hands gripped to the wheels of karts capable of cresting 45 miles per hour, up to 12 racers hum around the hairpin turns and straightaways of K1 Speed's indoor asphalt track during adrenaline-spiking sprints toward the podium. After donning safety equipment, racers eschew the fumes and inflammatory skywriting of gas kart exhaust for European electric karts designed to instantly accelerate out of curves. Speed-seeking youngsters can also satisfy cravings with dialed-down junior karts that safely carry drivers around the final hairpin into a podium finish.

In addition to complimentary use of the facility's helmets and head socks, licensed drivers redeem one free birthday race, access to any K1 Speed location and the chance to ascend the racing scores leader board via an online K1RS system.

Though K1 Speed sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.

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The vertebral column consists of four separate regions, all of which are secretly conspiring to invade and overthrow the others. Put an end to civil back wars with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a one-hour massage package with a consultation and pain evaluation at New Health Centers (a $164 value). Choose from the following locations:

• Irvine
• Costa Mesa
• La Habra
• Lake Forest
• Tustin

New Health Centers curates a roster of more than 300 health-care practitioners across the country, each working to alleviate corporeal discomfort with natural techniques. Sessions kick off with a 10- to 20-minute consultation, during which an experienced doctor personally chats with clients, exploring their health history, current ailments, and the latest trends in stethoscope fashion. Next, a comprehensive evaluation enlists various diagnostic methods to pinpoint causes of pain. Doctors may use neurological and orthopedic practices to investigate sources of aches and soreness or range-of-motion tests to see if patients can draw a perfect dodecahedron. To conclude sessions, a one-hour massage harnesses an appropriate level of pressure to help unkink knots and relax tense musculature.

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Though fake vampire fangs were originally designed to conceal uncleanly teeth, their waxy composition rendered them useless for chewing anything but dough balls dipped in water. Properly protect pointy chompers with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get a comprehensive dental package at Right Dental Group (a $300 value). This Groupon is valid at 21 area locations. The dental package includes:

• Exam
• Cleaning
• X-rays

With hundreds of locations across the country, Right Dental Group represents a collection of oral-health-care professionals who deliver a variety of quality dental services. The collective places an emphasis on relationship building—meaning patients can confess their most egregious toffee-apple trespasses while receiving a teeth scrubbing delivered with precision and understanding. Each of the dentists is prescreened for a consistent record of excellence and the ability to efficiently locate a cavity in a toothstack.

A skilled doctor and staff will skillfully probe forgotten mouth corners, eradicating tartar and expunging plaque from bacterial lairs. The included x-rays will help uncover any oral problem areas that cannot be seen with the shamelessly naked eye. After treatment, clients will be privy to tips that explain the proper brushing and flossing techniques to ward off gum disease and tooth loss, ensuring tongue-stoppers remain firmly rooted to the rest of the skeletal system.

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Spicy food is a great way to separate the men from the boys, the women from the girls, and the girls from the boys if they get too rowdy at coed canoe camp. Savor divisive spices with today’s Groupon to Mozambique in Laguna Beach. Choose between the following options:

• For $25, you get $50 worth of South African cuisine and drinks Sunday–Friday.
• For $25, you get $50 worth of South African cuisine and drinks on any day of the week.

Lauded by OC Weekly for its gorgeous views of sunsets and live reggae music, Mozambique infuses its menu of steaks and seafood with piquant peri-peri and other quintessential South African spices. A wood-fired grill imbues chicken ($19) and prawns ($20) with a smoky finish while saving charcoal for clothing underprivileged snowmen. Roasted pineapple slaw bedazzles a platter of African boerewors sausage and pork chops ($15), and creamy curry sauce cradles succulent chunks of lamb ($25). While dining, patrons can peruse the ample wine list, or duck behind it to hide from the on-duty comptroller at the next table. On the weekends, live music from classic rock to R&B reverberates off the dining room’s high ceilings, mustard-hued walls, and carved wood accents.

Our customers loved this deal last year, earning Mozambique a spot on Groupon's Best of 2011 list.

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Horses were once considered man’s best friend, but after the invention of the dog, the horse was rebranded as man’s eccentric, oat-obsessed uncle. Take a journey with the kindest of kinsmen with today's Groupon: for $185, you get an Everlasting Love horseback vineyard tour from Wine Country Trails by Horseback in Temecula (up to a $480 value). The tour includes:

• 90-minute guided horseback ride through Temecula's wine-country vineyards
• Wine tastings for two at two vineyards
• $50 voucher for gourmet meal for two at Creekside Grille
• Bottle of almond champagne
• Single red rose

Proprietor Diana Lefort welcomes every opportunity to blend her two passions: horseback riding and the gorgeous scenery of the Temecula Valley's wine country. Guests can begin their stallion-studded tours with Lefort's team at various wineries in the region, where experts demonstrate the incantations used to summon tears from grapes and participants tipple two of the latest fermented juices from two wineries of their choosing. After a gourmet meal from local farmers at the Creekside Grille at Wilson Creek Winery, well-seasoned steeds with gentle temperaments and good credit ratings carry riders through lush vineyards as the daylight slowly unspools around them into a glorious sunset. Couples can toast a successful day of sauntering with a bottle of almond champagne and a single red rose.

Though Wine Country Trails by Horseback sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.

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The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

Can I make an urban legend from soap?

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Like little girls, brownies are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, and shouldn’t be left unattended in a room filled with white furniture. Dig into a chocolaty treat with today’s Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of caramel chocolate brownies at Laura’s Brownies at Red Rooster Bakery, located on Pico Boulevard between 10th and 11th in Santa Monica.

Crafted from secret recipes developed over 20 years of baking, Laura Silvera’s signature chocolate caramel brownies anchor her baking. Oval tins adorned with floral accents ($10+ for nine or more brownies) conjure stars in the wide eyes of swooning paramours, who may also pluck Laura’s gooey creations from Valentine’s Day–themed boxes swathed in warm pastel hearts ($8 for sets of two; four brownies each). Heart-shaped brownies nestle in form-fitting tins ($20 for four), and keepsake mugs ($16 for 10 brownies), overflowing with 10 brownies apiece, come emblazoned with messages, such as “I love Grandma,” “I love Dad,” and “I love the idea of Europe.” Laura’s Brownies operates out of The Gourmet Touch, Inc.’s headquarters, where customers can pick up their parcels.

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For centuries, gondolas have been a popular means of transportation through Venice, second only to floating discarded da Vinci masterworks. Set sail with today's Groupon to Sunset Gondola in Huntington Beach.

The Deal

$39 for a 60-minute private gondola cruise for two (an $80 value)
$75 for a 90-minute private gondola cruise for up to four (a $160 value)

During Sunset Gondola tours, a skilled gondolier paddles two or four guests through Pacific waters while pointing out elements of Huntington Harbour's rich architecture. Seated in imported Venetian vessels, guests indulge in BYOB snacks and beverages accompanied by provided blankets, cups, ice, and a wine opener. Gondoliers enhance romantic moments by serenading guests in Italian or Elvish and body blocking the sun to provide mood lighting.

Sunset Gondola

Gondoliers bedecked in striped shirts nurture romance while serenading guests during languid gondola rides along Huntington Harbour's lush waterways. Equipped with 13-foot oars, Sunset Gondola's imported Venetian vehicles stretch 37 feet from end to end. While some packages come with amenities such as chocolate-covered strawberries, guests are encouraged to bring along their own snacks and beverages. Gondola rides are also available for special occasions, including proposals, wedding ceremonies, and mustache debuts.

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The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

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It is hard to prove you spend time at the beach when your only evidence is knowing how to play the conch. Add a tan to your alibi with today’s Groupon to Hollywood Tans in Aliso Viejo. Choose between the following options:

• For $25, you get three Mystic tans (a $75 value).
• For $25, you get 30 days of unlimited tanning in a three-star booth (an $82 value).

The bronzing specialists at Hollywood Tans render skin suits fashionable regardless of season with a combination of UV beds and UV-free spray tans. During Mystic Tan sessions, an automated spray booth canvasses bodies with micromists of bronzers, moisturizers, and DHA, giving skin a natural-looking tan that wearers can flaunt for up to seven days. Alternatively, skin owners can darken their pelts with simulated sunbeams in standup UV-tanning booths. The three-star booth motivates melanin production, imbuing dermises with a golden glow typically reserved for Zeus’s arm-wrestling-trophy case.

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The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

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Fresh flowers spruce up Valentine's Day dates easier than making your own candy or paying your nephew to dress as a Cupid-themed living statue. Arm yourself with amorous bouquets with today’s Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of flowers and gifts from FTD. FTD offers same-day delivery in most areas for orders placed by 2 p.m. in the recipient’s time zone. Service or shipping fees vary widely based on order and delivery dates but typically range from $15.99 to $29.99. For detailed instructions on how to redeem your FTD Groupon, click here.

FTD steeps rooms in the fresh scents of spring with hundreds of thoughtful bouquets delivered by artisan florists or sheathed in gold organza and shipped in an award-winning gift box. Yield to Cupid’s arrow and persistent text messages by presenting a loved one with an FTD-exclusive Sweethearts bouquet, a heart-hued collection of red roses and burgundy mini carnations elegantly interspersed with sprigs of greenery in an etched glass vase ($44.99–$64.99). Or follow a more polychromatic path with the My Everything Valentine's Day bouquet, an unexpected marriage of deep-red roses and white Asiatic lilies ($29.99–$59.99). Red roses and pink lilies spring forth from a sculpted red vase in the Lasting Romance bouquet ($69.99–$94.99), and a spray of 12 long-stemmed roses ($49.99; $59.99 with vase) stands firmly on stems that measure around 16 inches without heels. FTD backs each floral arrangement with a satisfaction guarantee, which pledges that flowers and plants will remain fresh and keep their bedrooms tidy for at least seven days.

Those looking beyond the bloom can peruse FTD’s gift galleria, which encompasses a smorgasbord of specialty gifts, including jewelry and chocolates. Live plants, such as orchids ($39.99+) or miniature roses ($19.99+), outlive their clipped comrades with a simple regimen of watering and pruning, and silk floral displays brighten up sunless corners and survive solely on nightly bedtime stories.

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The Groupon Guide to: Office Icebreakers

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A dirty carpet is like a guilty conscience—it distracts you in the middle of important toasts and it prevents you from eating off the floor in peace. Expunge lingering crud from your rug with today's Groupon to Air Fresh Chem-Dry. Choose between the following options:

• For $49, you get carpet-cleaning services for three rooms of up to 760 square feet (up to a $210 value).
• For $35, you get cleaning of up to four feet of furniture and upholstery (up to an $85 value).

This Groupon is valid for service in Orange County, Riverside, San Bernardino, Temecula area, the Rancho Cucamonga area, and the Azusa/Covina area.

Air Fresh Chem-Dry's cleaning pros scrub carpets and upholstery with a nontoxic, carbonated, deep-cleaning solution, and steam dirt out of fibrous strongholds with hot-water extraction. The award-winning business sends carpet cleaners to homes bearing green-certified extraction machines and a carbonated cleaner called The Natural. Meticulous air globules push their way between grime and its fibrous victims before the hot-water system steams away evidence on carpets, sofas, or taxidermied mammoths. It takes cleaners about 45 minutes to complete services, and one to two hours for carpets and furniture to air out and move on to fluffy, mildew-free futures.

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The Groupon Guide to: Office Icebreakers

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Creases between the brows silently communicate negative emotions like worry, nervousness, or existential angst induced by a sub-par submarine sandwich. Emanate positive feelings with today's Groupon to Ilana Botox and Beauty Boutiques in Mission Viejo. Choose between the following options:

• For $99, you get 20 units of Botox (a $199.80 value).
• For $195, you get 40 units of Botox (a $399.60 value).

Ilana Botox and Beauty Boutiques' medical cosmetologist, Natalia Ryndin, calls upon more than 22 years of experience when smoothing men's and women's skin with tiny injections of FDA-approved Botox. The delicately targeted injections relax frequently tensed facial muscles, clearing away troublesome creases, fine lines, or six-packs of ripped abs bulging between the brows. The procedure requires no downtime, so patients can immediately return to regular activities such as modeling brows for bridge architects, and can maintain the flattering effects for as long as four months.

Botox may cause serious side effects that can be life threatening, including problems swallowing, speaking, or breathing. Read all safety considerations for Botox here.

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The Groupon Guide to: Office Icebreakers

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Scientists are still puzzled by the contents of the modern basketball— they believe it to be filled either with helium or several baseballs. Contemplate this conundrum with today's GrouponLive deal: to see the Harlem Globetrotters play at the Honda Center in Anaheim. For $48, you get one ticket for reserved seating in section 206, 208, 209, 210, 220, or 224 on Saturday, February 18 at 7 p.m. (up to an $87.90 value, including all Ticketmaster fees).

Now in their 86th season, the Harlem Globetrotters continue to entertain millions of parents, children, and general basketball admirers with a trademark blend of athletic precision and razzle-dazzle showmanship. For the team's 2012 world tour, a rotating roster of Globetrotter favorites take to the hardwood each game, so spectators might spot Special K Daley sharing a behind-the-back pass with newcomer Jacob “Hops” Tucker, the 2011 NCAA slam-dunk champion whose 50-inch vertical leap cruelly dashed his dreams of working in a ceiling-fan store. The Trotters might also present a study in contrasts with five-foot-two Too Tall Hall and seven-foot-eight Paul "Tiny" Sturgess, the world's tallest pro basketball player.

As the Globetrotters take on their archrivals, the Washington Generals, youngsters can learn about the benefits of teamwork while laughing along and witnessing the jovial jocks performing classic routines of unconventional passing and sudden transmutations of water into confetti. Having performed in 120 countries and all six penguin-overrun continents, the Globetrotters are one of the few teams inducted in the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame as ambassadors of the sport.

Roster subject to change.

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The Groupon Guide to: Office Icebreakers

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In addition to being a source of crucial information, magazines can also be fanned across a coffee table to conceal almond-butter stains or rolled into a handy bopping device to stun tarantulas. Get a steady supply of spider boppers with today's Groupon: for $6, you get a one-year subscription to Orange Coast magazine (a $12 value).

In their photo-packed monthly periodical, Orange Coast editors highlight local movers and shakers, trendy nightspots, and cultural events around Southern California. Roving reporters scout restaurants to take a date to, or the least patrolled mattress stores to nap in, delivering a full report in peppy, witty prose. Profiles of celebrities and area newsmakers keep readers up-to-date on thoroughly fact-checked gossip, and articles on fashion, home design, and travel augment the locally focused buzz. Subscribers can leaf through pages for upcoming events, from concerts to art-gallery openings, or plan a culinary outing with the help of the dining section, a who’s who of noteworthy new restaurants and the best windowsills to steal apple pies from.

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Without proper footwear to identify them, track stars are often assumed to be frightened paranormal experts fleeing unbusted ghosts. Keep ahead of the invisible crowd with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of shoes and accessories at WSS Footwear. This Groupon is valid at 54 locations. Prices and selection vary by location.

WSS stocks more than 3,000 styles of shoes from cobblers such as Nike, Converse, Skechers, Puma, and more. New styles such as Nike Running and Jordan basketball arrive daily and stack themselves neatly atop one another. Converse Chuck Taylors ($19.99+) and All Stars ($39.99) provide casual options for any adult or future adult, and Vans Authentics ($24.99+) cushion skateboard landings. Women’s fashion shoes ($19.99+), such as Celia Loraine pumps ($16.99), ready feet for proms, weddings, or events at which Mark McGwire will read excerpts from his autobiography, The Mac Daddy: How to Raise Several Children on Quiet Wealth.

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The Groupon Guide to Everyman’s Classics: Animal Farm

Is a society run by animals doomed to fail/be hilarious?

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If left untended, hands have been known to flee arms and take up residence with Addams families. Keep hands from autonomy with today's Groupon to One Medical Group Orange County in Newport Beach. Choose from the following options:

• For $45, you get one skin-rejuvenating IPL treatment on both hands (a $250 value).
• For $120, you get three skin-rejuvenating IPL treatments on both hands (a $750 value).
• For $175, you get five skin-rejuvenating IPL treatments on both hands (a $1,250 value).

One Medical Group Orange County's team of physicians, registered nurses, and clinical aestheticians assesses each client's health history before combating signs of aging through noninvasive treatments. In approximately 15-minute sessions, therapists flash intense pulsed light on hands to fade sun damage, broken capillaries, and chew marks from puppies. In addition to minimizing the appearance of such dermal aberrations, the IPL therapy may also stimulate the production of collagen and elastin. As the body churns out elevated levels of these epidermis-enhancing proteins, mitts attain a more youthful sheen and more supple skin, which make a bold impression when petting a highly discerning cat.

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The Groupon Guide to Everyman’s Classics: Animal Farm

Is a society run by animals doomed to fail/be hilarious?

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