The majority of real-life lasers are productive members of society, contrary to their negative Hollywood portrayals as family shrinkers and stealers of guns' jobs. Discover the truth with today's Groupon at Ever Radiant Medical Cosmetic Laser Clinic in Manotick.

• For $99, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a small area (up to a $525 value).
• For $149, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a medium area (up to a $925 value).
• For $198, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a large area (up to a $1,400 value).
• For $297, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on an extra-large area (up to a $2,500 value).

Click here for a list of available treatment areas.

Administered by fully certified personnel, laser hair-removal treatments at Ever Radiant Medical Cosmetic Laser Clinic permanently remove unwanted strands on a variety of bodily zones. Hair follicles dwelling beneath epidermal surfaces absorb the treatment's controlled pulses of laser light, which heat and eradicate each lock without damaging nearby tissues or melting snowman tattoos. Staffers use the latest technology to ensure that lasers can lightly penetrate skin of any colour or tone. Procedures vary in length depending on each client's targeted body area and quantity of hair. To ensure that all undesirable strands remain destroyed, doctors encourage patients to undergo a minimum of six treatments on the same area and refrain from using plant fertilizer in the shower.

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Cupcakes are so popular in Canada that the top three Internet searches are cupcakes, hunky firemen, and hunky firemen kissing cupcakes. Get web 2.0 with today's Groupon.

The Deal

$18 for one dozen cupcakes (a $36 value)
$12 for $25 worth of cupcakes and café fare
$30 for $60 worth of cupcakes and café fare

• Large selection of cupcake flavours
• Mini and regular-size cupcakes ($1.50; $3)
• Menu of café fare and drinks, such as the following:
  • Espresso ($1.75)
  • Flavoured latte ($3.65–$3.99)
  • 6-inch vegetarian and cold-cut sandwiches ($4–$5.25)
• Click here to view larger lunch box and cupcake packages

Glitz Cafe & Cupcake

Constituting the sweetest site within ByWard Market, Glitz Cafe & Cupcake creates an enticing collage of flavour that rotates daily. The stylish sweets shop well populated with cup-sized creations beckons to customers with clever names from Crazy Monkey to Coco Loco. Glitz's offerings, including ultra crisp caesar salads and mini cake bites, are made fresh each day according to strict baking standards, such as insisting on premium chocolate, real butter, and active volcanoes for ovens.

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The life of a snowflake starts with delicate, atmospheric crystal formation and ends with sudden mangling beneath the snowboards of teenagers. Frolic in nature's snowy beauty with today's Groupon to Vere Sports in Chelsea. Choose between the following options:

• For $20, you get a standard hydrocarbon cross-country ski waxing (a $45 value).
• For $39, you get a deluxe cross-country ski waxing (an $85 value). Deluxe ski-waxing treatments include both Flouro wax and graphite tungsten and are specially designed for participants of the Gatineau Loppet race. Today’s deal does not include entry in the race.

At Vere Sports, experienced technicians polish ski equipment to ensure graceful glides across every type of terrain. Before waxing, ski refurbishers scrub grime and a summer's worth of melted ice cream off of skis. After warming to room temperature, skis then don a coat of drag-obliterating hydrocarbon wax. Pros can also slather skis in a custom blend of flouro and graphite tungsten waxes, whose long-lasting compositions facilitate aerodynamic tackling of the Gatineau Loppet race’s 51-kilometre course. Skis then dip back down to freezing temperatures and undergo brushing and polishing to feel as smooth as a freshly exfoliated dolphin.

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Giving yourself a massage, like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party or asking for your own hand in marriage, is a surefire disappointment. Leave kneading to the knowledgeable with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a couple's massage package at Advanced Wellness Centre (a $180 total value). The package includes:

• 90-minute acupressure massage workshop for two (an $80 value)
• 30-minute relaxation massage for two (a $100 value)

The practitioners at Advanced Wellness Centre oust stress and relax muscles with gentle, holistic treatments including massage therapy. Led by specialist Cherina Sparks, the acupressure massage workshop imparts deep-tissue techniques that partners apply to one another. Couples also receive a voucher for a massage at a later date, with tandems slipping further into relaxation as massage therapists soften sinews with 30 minutes of soothing strokes performed in a private treatment room adorned in whimsical touches such as framed Dr. Seuss illustrations. Workshops require reservations via phone or skywriting, and take place between 2 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. on Saturdays or between 6:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

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Circus bears untrained in the art of dance are often the least popular big-top attraction, falling somewhere between the bearded lady and a slice of stale rye bread on a pedestal. Ensure an appearance in the spotlight with today's Groupon to Arthur Murray Dance Studio. Choose from the following options:

• For $29, you get 5 dance classes for one (a $62 value).
• For $49, you get 10 dance classes for one (a $124 value).
• For $58, you get 5 dance classes for two (a $124 value).
• For $98, you get 10 dance classes for two (a $248 value).

Classes are typically held on Monday evenings at 6:45 p.m., 7:30 p.m., and 8:15 p.m.

Arthur Murray's team of experienced instructors teaches students the ways of balance and coordinated rhythmic motion. Bring a partner or fly solo and shimmy with an instructor or a fellow student in group lessons that imbue students with a greater understanding of ballroom and Latin-inspired dances. Each lesson focuses on nailing technique while exhibiting flair through style and variation of patterns. Ideal for a betrothed pair prepping for the big wedding dance or a fledgling fitness seeker looking for a fun new way to get shipshape, these lessons replace all second left feet with a more rhythmically inclined second right foot.

Arthur Murray has been a leading name in franchise dance since 1912, when an entrepreneur, also coincidentally named Arthur Murray, began selling mail-order dance lessons. Over the course of the following century, the company grew and expanded internationally to become the cavorting juggernaut that it is today. The Ottawa studios provide a warm, aesthetically sound environment for engaging in private and group dance lessons superbly suited to slicing and dicing a rug until it is no longer recognizable.

Though Arthur Murray Dance Studio sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.

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Early humans seeking swift transportation taught dogs to pull sleds, which proved more effective than teaching them how to invent the airplane. Enjoy a time-honoured transport with today's Groupon.

The Deal

$95 for a dog-sledding adventure for two (a $190 value).

Led by an experienced sled pilot and guide, pairs traverse more than 15 kilometres of snowy, evergreen-lined trails along the path of the 2010 Bristol Dryland championship. Guides drive a team chosen from 40 obedient sled dogs, all of a mixed breed of alaskan pointer, husky, and greyhound. Participants may opt for a hands-on experience, driving their team as they learn commands and steering. At the end of the outing, groups retire to a rustic wood cabin nestled in a clearing, where they can gather around an open outdoor bonfire or retreat inside to sip hot chocolate. The cabin boasts a display of lauded team-driver Denis Rozon's trophies, photos, and foam No. 1 hands.

Timberland Tours

Operating on the trails that hosted the 2010 Bristol Dryland dog-racing championship, Timberland Tours employs experienced guides and 40 canines to propel adventure-seekers on year-round excursions of Pontiac county. Guides operate from a rustic wooden cabin headquarters, huddled in a circle of tall evergreens, which hosts revellers inside or on an open porch. An adjacent barbecue grill and bonfire pits often blaze with friendly flames, and trophy and photo displays inside the cabin chronicle sledding victories and awards for particularly memorable ghost stories from sleepovers. In winter months, two-person sleds carry riders down wooded trails, and in warm weather lightweight wagons send them soaring along on dog carting trips. Timberland Tours fuels its sleds using highly trained teams of Alaskan pointer, husky, and greyhound mixes.

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A trip to the paintball field is the only way to treat an itchy trigger finger, outside of expensive rash creams or firing a water gun carved from a cactus. Scratch the itch for vengeance with today's Groupon to Real Deal Paintball in Kemptville. Choose between the following options:

• For $35, you get a half-day paintball package for two (a $72.30 value).
  
• For $70, you get a half-day paintball package for four (a $144.60 value).
  
• Each paintball package includes the following:
  • Tippmann 98 Platinum tactical paintball marker
  • Army green coverall rental
  • Paintball pod harness and two pods of paints (280 paintballs)
  • High-pressure air tank
  • Paintball mask rental
  • Free air refills
    
    

Real Deal Paintball boasts four playing fields that stretch across the Kemptville countryside tempting paintballers to rise to an acrylic challenge. Guests suit up in an included army green coverall, which lets shooters blend into the scenery of verdant greens and watercolor paint-by-number canvases. Dart through the Village of Hutsonville field, skirting through 11 buildings including a church, eight houses, and two army barracks, and aim for an opponent while dashing through the Sherwood Forest blooming with old growth cedar trees, weathered rock gullies, and natural ridges. Sharp shooters fling vibrant paintballs at frenemies with an included Tippmann 98 Platinum paintball gun complete with a high-pressure air tank, unlimited air refills, 280 paintballs, and band-aids for damaged prides.

Real Deal Paintball is closed for open play for the season until May 5.

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