Over the years, the Chinese fortune cookie has become so dry and tasteless that many diners prefer to eat the fortune instead. Today's game-changing Groupon delivers a reversal of fortune (cookie): for $15, you get $35 worth of gourmet fortune cookies and personalized fortunes from Fancy Fortune Cookies.

Having baked its delicate desserts of destiny for the celebrity likes of Oprah, Jackie Chan, and others, Fancy Fortune Cookies offers a handsome array of crack-openable creations, such as the chocolate-covered-raspberry fortune cookie ($1.25 each), chocolate-covered cookie ($1.15 each), and cherry-flavored cookie ($0.70 each). You can also make yourself feel tiny by ordering 1-pound giant fortune cookies ($29.95+) and much more. Check out Fancy Fortune Cookies' extensive selection of flavors here.

Fortunes can be customized in a variety of languages, including French, Spanish, and Arabic. Besides doling out pithy prophecies, lines of love, and Dadaist declarations, fortunes can be used to promote a death-metal band or a new pushcart business or serve as wedding or party favors. Bulk custom fortune cookies have a minimum of 50 pieces per flavor. Giant fortune cookies, gift tins, and other noncustom items can be ordered individually.

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Before breakfast was the first meal of the day, it was part of a midday supermeal—Dinner, Breakfast, Nash & Young. Give breakfast’s solo work its proper respect with today’s Groupon to Jerry Bob's Family Restaurant, valid at two locations. Choose between the following options:

• For $8, you get breakfast for two (up to a $17.56 total value), which includes:
  • Two omelets (up to a $6.59 value each), pancakes (up to a $6.29 value each), or special breakfast platters (up to a $6.89 value each)
  • Two beverages (a $1.89 value each)
• For $10, you get lunch for two (up to a $20.26 total value), which includes:
  • Two burgers (up to a $6.49 value each), sandwiches (up to a $6.99 value each), or Jerry Bob specials (up to a $6.99 value each)
  • Two beverages (a $1.89 value each)
  • One dessert (a $2.50 value)

Jerry Bob's Family Restaurant pleases palates seven days a week with a menu loaded with classic breakfast and lunchtime favorites. Dining duos can stop by for some always-available breakfast, sampling egg-wrapped concoctions or fluffy pancakes. Hearty special breakfasts include chorizo and eggs, served with beans or hash browns, and breakfast burritos stuffed with any of Jerry Bob's omelets. Midday munchies meet their match with bread-embraced burgers and sandwiches such as the barbecue-bacon cheeseburger and the hot or cold meatloaf. Paired patrons may also opt for steak quesadillas, grilled liver and onions, or any of Jerry Bob's other lunch specials, which arrive at tables accompanied by a choice of two sides. The lunch option features a savory and shareable dessert, perfect for appeasing cranky sweet teeth looking to chomp innocent inner cheeks.

Our customers loved this deal last year, earning Jerry Bob's Family Restaurant a spot on Groupon's Best of 2011 list.

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Watching a movie on the big screen makes audience members feel like they’re really there with the characters, especially during climactic popcorn-eating scenes. Chew and view with today’s Groupon.

The Deal

$12 for two movie tickets, one large popcorn, and a six-month membership for two (a $47 value)
$22 for four movie tickets, two large popcorns, and a six-month membership for two (a $69 value)

• New independent film releases
• Box-office and concession discounts with membership
• Check out weekly show listings here

Reel Arts 6 at Grand Cinemas Crossroads

Locally owned and operated since 1998, Reel Arts 6 at Grand Cinemas Crossroads projects the latest independent releases, supplying cinephiles with foreign-language films, documentaries, and pictures that rarely find their way to Tucson theaters. In addition to national work with limited distribution, Reel Arts 6 screens select 35mm, DVD, and Blu-ray submissions from local and international filmmakers during premiere events and extended engagements. Reel Arts 6 also hosts frequent Q&A sessions with directors, writers, and other film-industry professionals to elucidate elements of the filmmaking process such as financing an independent feature with Monopoly money. Alongside classic concession fare such as popcorn, candy, and sodas, Reel Arts 6 supplies patrons with healthy screening-room-snacking options such as hummus and edamame. Membership to the theater's Red Carpet Club grants beholders discounts on box-office and concession purchases for each cinematic outing.

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Like a Woody Allen film, baklava is multilayered and a welcome addition to extended jury deliberations. Bite into a multifaceted treat with today's Groupon: for $12, you get a 1-pound box of gourmet baklava from Yiayia Maria's Kitchen (a $28.05 value, including shipping). Groupon customers can also receive $10 off the purchase of additional items.

Named for the matriarch of the Nicolopoulos family, whose culinary gifts inspired her grandchildren to open their pastry shop, Yiayia Maria's Kitchen whips up dulcet Greek desserts using all-natural ingredients and generations-old recipes. To craft rectangles of baklava, pastry architects scrupulously hand-assemble 30 layers of paper-thin organic phyllo dough, keeping careful eyes out for gusts of wind as they spread a butter-and-nut mixture between each tier. Sweet honey soaks through the pastry structure, seeping into each phyllo wall before the family's signature clove is placed on each piece. Free-roaming, cage-free hens that are unpolluted by antibiotics, pesticides, and growth hormones produce the eggs used in Yiayia Maria's baklava.

An additional package-handling charge of $2.85 is not included in today’s Groupon.

Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

Can I make an urban legend from soap?

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Facials make visages look younger, allowing parents to pose as their own children during high-school football tryouts. Put on your game face with today’s Groupon: for $79, you get a spa package at Bella Skin, Body & Boutique (a $210 total value). The package includes:

• A 50-minute vitamin C firming facial (an $85 value)
• A 30-minute gel peel (a $60 value)
• A 50-minute Swedish massage (a $65 value)

The beauty therapists at Bella Skin, Body & Boutique harness SkinCeuticals's pharmaceutical-grade tonics to promote youthful complexions and infuse all massages and facials with aromatherapy. To commence the firming facial, the resident aesthetician loosens dead cells with alpha-hydroxy lotion, clearing the way for a vitamin C mask that fights free radicals and provides further exfoliation. The serum steeps skin in amino acids and allantoin to soothe inflammation, then replenishes moisture with vitamin B5 to leave faces as dewy and soft as Poseidon's security blanket. Building upon the facial's successes, a gel peel aims to refine skin texture. Pores absorb the mild blend of acids, which gently dissolves fine lines and fades uneven pigmentation while freeing clogs that cause acne.

Concluding the 130-minute sojourn, a massage therapist knead away stiffness and invigorate muscles with the light- to medium-pressure strokes of Swedish massage. The modality's five strokes work in tandem to flush oxygenated blood toward the heart, promoting holistic benefits that may include improved sleep, reduced swelling, and the ability to energize a solar-powered calculator with your eyes.

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The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

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Photographers preserve subjects' precious memories, abolishing the need to hastily scoop reflections out of nearby fountains. Seek permanence with today's Groupon.

The Deal

$59 for an on-location Snap Pix photo session (a $330 total value), which includes:

• A 30-minute session (a $135 value)
• Three gift prints 8”x10” or smaller (a $65 value each), such as one 5”x7” print or eight wallet prints
• Four social-media-ready petite photos on a CD

$99 for an on-location Feature photo session (a $520 total value), which includes:

• A 60-minute session (a $295 value)
• Five gift prints 8”x10” or smaller (a $65 value each), such as one 5”x7” print or eight wallet prints
• Eight social-media-ready petite photos on a CD

Ann Bradford Photography

Photographer Elizabeth Miller of Ann Bradford Photography encapsulates invaluable memories and imprints them on slick prints and digital files. Traveling hither and thither, Elizabeth commemorates in-home baby showers, outdoor holiday celebrations, and weddings held atop active volcanoes. After shoots, treasured memories can be viewed in digital form or printed out to fill frames and decorate homes.

Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

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Dancing is one of the most popular forms of outward expression, second only to smiling at passersby or bringing bank statements to high-school reunions. Express your inner feelings with today's Groupon: for $79, you get 10 group dance classes for two at Shall We Dance (a $200 value).

The competitively trained toe tappers at Shall We Dance instill rug-cutting wisdom and undeniable rhythm in students, piquing passions for fancy footwork. Unlike marathon viewings of Flashdance, group classes show budding hoofers how to gracefully execute an arsenal of dance steps in styles such as salsa, Argentinean tango, swing, and waltz. Each session develops twirlers' grasp on specialized shimmying, readying couples for weddings, anniversary parties, or musical housecleaning sessions.

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The Groupon Guide to: Writing an Urban Legend

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When stranded in the wilderness, glasses can help you to convert sunbeams into fire or look smart as you explain the inedibility of man to a family of grizzly bears. Equip your eyes for the great outdoors with today's Groupon to Arizona Primary Eye Care. Choose between the following options:

• For $99, you get an eye-care package (a $250 total value), which includes:
  • An eye exam (a $100 value)
  • $150 toward prescription glasses
• For $49, you get $150 toward prescription glasses.

Arizona Primary Eye Care's optometrists and staff fill snazzy frames with prescription lenses to suit thoroughly examined eyes. Each eye exam relies on computerized retinal photography and corneal topographic mapping to peer deep into peepers to find more subtle problems. Optometrists also provide pre- and post-operative care for refractive surgery, and the doctors fit clients with specialty contact lenses that treat astigmatism or retrofit eyes with technicolor lenses.

Having received a prescription, patients can surround stylish eyeballs with hip frames from brands such as Roxbury ($85+) or Tag Heuer ($250+). Sun-shy eyes can take shelter behind prescription sunglass lenses, and bifocal lenses ($75+) give patrons the means to read pamphlets supporting voting rights for the nation's newly sentient ATMs.

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The Groupon Guide to: Office Icebreakers

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Fresh flowers spruce up Valentine's Day dates easier than making your own candy or paying your nephew to dress as a Cupid-themed living statue. Arm yourself with amorous bouquets with today’s Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of flowers and gifts from FTD. FTD offers same-day delivery in most areas for orders placed by 2 p.m. in the recipient’s time zone. Service or shipping fees vary widely based on order and delivery dates but typically range from $15.99 to $29.99. For detailed instructions on how to redeem your FTD Groupon, click here.

FTD steeps rooms in the fresh scents of spring with hundreds of thoughtful bouquets delivered by artisan florists or sheathed in gold organza and shipped in an award-winning gift box. Yield to Cupid’s arrow and persistent text messages by presenting a loved one with an FTD-exclusive Sweethearts bouquet, a heart-hued collection of red roses and burgundy mini carnations elegantly interspersed with sprigs of greenery in an etched glass vase ($44.99–$64.99). Or follow a more polychromatic path with the My Everything Valentine's Day bouquet, an unexpected marriage of deep-red roses and white Asiatic lilies ($29.99–$59.99). Red roses and pink lilies spring forth from a sculpted red vase in the Lasting Romance bouquet ($69.99–$94.99), and a spray of 12 long-stemmed roses ($49.99; $59.99 with vase) stands firmly on stems that measure around 16 inches without heels. FTD backs each floral arrangement with a satisfaction guarantee, which pledges that flowers and plants will remain fresh and keep their bedrooms tidy for at least seven days.

Those looking beyond the bloom can peruse FTD’s gift galleria, which encompasses a smorgasbord of specialty gifts, including jewelry and chocolates. Live plants, such as orchids ($39.99+) or miniature roses ($19.99+), outlive their clipped comrades with a simple regimen of watering and pruning, and silk floral displays brighten up sunless corners and survive solely on nightly bedtime stories.

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The Groupon Guide to: Office Icebreakers

Is lack of self-confidence contagious?

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Unlike real spiders, spider veins are impervious to rolled-up magazines and rarely inspire beloved children’s novels. Squash pesky skin arachnids with today's Groupon to Quality Aesthetics, a part of Quality of Life Medical & Research Center. Choose between the following options:

• For $99, you get one laser spider-vein treatment that covers the upper half of both legs (a $200 value), the lower half of both legs (a $200 value), or both full legs (a $400 value).
• For $249, you get three laser spider-vein treatments on the upper legs, lower legs, or full legs (up to a $1,200 value). The three treatments must be performed four to six weeks apart.
  
  

This deal is not valid for the treatment of varicose veins.

At Quality Aesthetics, certified laser specialist AnaGrace Valdez draws on 22 years of beauty-industry experience while aiming focused light at spider veins. In each Lovely Leggs session, a beam of light disables threadlike spider veins caused by changes in blood pressure or prolonged exposure to Vincent Price. Depending on the size of the treatment area, sessions typically last 30 minutes to one hour with little to no downtime, and most cases require no use of posttreatment compression hose. To see the full desired results, patients may need two to four sessions scheduled at least one month apart, in order to give veins a fair chance to leave of their own accord.

Our customers loved this deal last year, earning Quality Aesthetics a spot on Groupon's Best of 2011 list.

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The Groupon Guide to Everyman’s Classics: Animal Farm

Is a society run by animals doomed to fail/be hilarious?

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