After strolling all over the Marina without finding anything that looked all that worthwhile, we stumbled on Umami (http://www.umamisf.com). It was hidden down a side street off Union and it was dark enough that we couldn’t read the menu posted outside. Luckily enough, the atmosphere looked about right for a Sunday night dinner - laid back but nice heavy wood decor.

Upon looking at the menu, it was clear that there was at least one mandatory order - Edamame Hummus. There isn’t too terribly much to say other than that two of the most glorious appetizers in the world combined into a single mind-blowing creation is something I’m definitely into. I could have grubbed 2 orders of this.

The best item of the night though was based on the recommendation of the waitress - White Tuna Tataki. After ordering this blind based on her recommendation, I really didn’t think twice about it until the guy put a skillet down on the table and before I knew what was going on, poured some steaming hot oil into the skillet and the fish in the skillet was sizzling and steam was shooting into the air and everybody in the place was staring mouth agape at our table begging to know what it was that we being the sophisticated, clearly in-the-know people (who had never heard of the place 20 min earlier), had ordered. Of course, having not even looked at it on the menu, I had no idea what to tell them, and quite frankly didn’t even know the name of it until I just looked it up now. All this rambling and I haven’t even begun to talk about how amazing this dish was. The fish ends up perfectly seared by the oil, with the outside getting nice and warm but leaving the middle of each piece cool and refreshing. The sauce and flavors coming out of that pan were beyond good as well. Overall, this is a straight rock star dish.

After some good enough but largely forgettable sushi rolls, we were preparing to leave and had requested the bill when we decided with nothing to do on a lazy Sunday evening, we might as well take a look at the dessert menu. I’m not much of a dessert guy, especially at Asian restaurants (green tea ice cream is straight yuck). That said, I only saw one item on the dessert menu and upon seeing it, was a changed man forever - Chocolate Chip cookie dough ice cream roll served with a chocolate dipping sauce. If that doesn’t sound amazing to you, check your palette. It was better than it sounds and it sounds life changing. I found a picture of this glorious roll.

Overall, everything came together for me at Umami, the atmosphere coupled with a couple of amazing dishes made for an incredible meal even though it included some fairly uninspired sushi.

Umami is located at 2909 Webster St. in San Francisco.

A small wait stood between me and this amazing grilled fish sandwich upon entering this popular and fairly upscale eatery. Luckily the bar was large and inviting and the jazz trio at the center of the room added a quality ambiance with their music. The drinks were good albeit a bit pricey and the service exceeded expectations. Soon enough we were seated and slightly disappointed that the small menu we had seen at the bar was in fact the entire menu for the evening.

Though it was small, there were a few intriguing items but ultimately my fish sandwich decision was a rather easy one. My biggest hesitation was the accompanying item – peanut sauce cole slaw. I can’t say I’ve ever really enjoyed cole slaw. It always seems like a visual garnish that nobody really expects you to eat. However, when my plate arrived, I was pleased to see something resembling more of a salad than the slaw in a small cup that I had envisioned. Once I tasted this glorious concept, I realized my hesitation toward it had been completely unfounded. It was simply delicious and the perfect accompaniment to my sandwich.

That is not to say it over-shined the main entrée though. This sandwich could easily hold its own against most of the food I have experienced recently. Perfectly cooked and seasoned and served on a soft, full bun with a very good tartar sauce component that added to the flavor of the fish extremely well. I don’t tend to be a big fan of most tomatoes, but the tomatoes served with this sandwich were so red and fresh, I couldn’t help but peel them off and eat them before even trying the sandwich.

Overall, I was extremely pleased with my visit to Bandera. From the food to the ambiance to the service, this spot hit on all levels and I strongly recommend it to any locals as well as any tourists who stumble on this little known street tucked away in the darkest recesses of Chicago.

While qualifying is ongoing, the two heavy favorites going in are undoubtedly Lou Malnatis pie featuring its extremely crave-able and unique tomato sauce top and the somewhat more classic and heavier offering from Giordanos. While both spots are at the top of the Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza game, they each deliver a unique variation on the theme that makes comparisons difficult.

However, I am ready to step up to the challenge and sort out the best not just between these two perennial superpowers but also of possible surprise stories like Gino’s East, Eduardos, and The Art of Pizza among others. Check back soon to see the full bracket along with the results of Round 1.

I first came to terms with my problem when during my freshman year of college at the University of Wisconsin, I received for my birthday not one but two entire cakes of chocolaty heaven. Other people had clearly been introduced to my inner fat guy. I am not a religious man, but if I were, this cake would vie for the position of my deity. While a single entire cake is indeed gluttonous and possessing two at the same time approaches extreme levels even I quiver at the thought of, even the single slices served at the restaurant can put everything that is good in the world within reach of your fork.

I knew that this piece would inevitably digress into a love note to mi amor chocolate cake but I promised myself that I would fight to keep it on track. With that in mind I would like to get into some of Portillos’ other offerings.

The most astonishing thing about this spot is that while everyone loves it, each has his or her own reasons. While conversations with Coldstone lovers are always going to get back to cake batter ice cream, conversations with Portillos lovers are unscripted and spontaneous.

Following the obligatory affirmation that he is in fact a fan, the portillos lover will follow with an utterly unpredictable reasoning. “The Italian beef makes my heart sing.” “The grilled chicken sandwich is better than watching dragonflies fuck.” “The chili dog is more soothing than diarrhea when you’re constipated.” The list goes on. I have never heard of a spot where nearly every menu item is at the top of someone’s list. How can everything be so damn good?

Personally, I have experienced periods in my love for Portillos, much more akin to those that Picasso experienced than those which visit chics monthly. I began young and innocent with my cheese dog period, before exploring my slightly deeper cheeseburger side. The cheese fries were a comforting constant, a shoulder to lean on if you will, through this otherwise tumultuous period.

I then grew slightly more health conscious and my palette expanded forcing me into a long, drawn out grilled chicken sandwich period. The flavors that result as the mayonnaise plays on the seasonings of the perfectly grilled breast are nothing short of beautiful when combined on such a soft but substantial bun. Lately my emotions have been getting the best of my health conscious mind and I have been falling into the darkness that is the chili dog. While the chili is not all that noteworthy, I can’t help but love the experience.

If I die of heart disease, there is almost no doubt that my drawn out romance with Portillos played some part, but that is ok because everyone knows that in heaven, food orders are hastily scribbled on the backs of red and white striped paper bags.

While there is always a line popping at any reasonable time of day, (between 4am and 2pm maybe) and this spot is slower than McDonalds to get into the credit card game, I am still a big advocate.

The biggest reason I love Tempo for satisfying all my late-night and brunchly urges is the sheer size of their offerings. Most of the menu is served in large skillets that easily fill even me up. This is not to say that the food is not also delicious. I was worried the first time I visited sober that like so many other spots and hookups all my late night dreams of greatness would come crashing down when I saw just how much the goods sucked with the lights on.

However, I was gloriously surprised. The spinach and feta omelet I ate was not only huge, it also tasted really good. Throw in some eggs and potatoes that I barely even got to as they were hiding beneath this monster of an omelet, and I was presently surprised.

I strongly advise brunch enthusiasts and boozehounds alike to visit Tempo. There will be a line but I feel as though it is well worth it. Just remember to bring cash money.

One such place that I learned of while meeting some friends for lunch was Go Roma. This small chain mimics the dining style made popular by spots like Noodles – order at a register, food delivered to table, they clean up, no tipping, etc. It is a pretty enjoyable way to dine in my opinion. No waiting on waiters, food served fast, no tipping, not a bad deal.

The difference between Go Roma and other similar establishments is the quality of the food. The menu is extensive and diverse for such a low priced, fast spot. My favorite menu item is the Goat Cheese, Sundried Tomatoes, and Spinach Pizza. Coming in under $10, the half plank pizza is a very respectable amount of food. While the spectacular flavors leave you wanting more, the substantial size leaves you dreading your next deuce. Goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes really are a match made in heaven and while a common sight on higher priced menus, I respect a place that serves such a pizza at fast food prices in fast food time.
As I said, the menu is extensive so if goat cheese and sun dried t’s aren’t your style, I’m sure you will find something that is, be it one of their other great pizzas, pasta dishes that appear to rival spots twice as expensive, or salads.

I really don’t think I could say much bad about this spot, if you’re short on time and respect flavor Go Roma is calling your name.

To get through your hangover this weekend, you can look forward to a huge article of epic proportions next week. The fear of not doing justice to this historic spot has actually made me nervous to write it the way you get nervous when your friends talk about doing stupid whatnot like getting married. Or something like that.

By all accounts celebrities tend to hit this spot when they visit town. While that may conjure the image of asshole elitists circling around crispy white tables sitting in uncomfortable chairs staring at one another’s perfectly styled hair while odd trance music plays (but I digress), Rockit is far removed from any of these visions. This fairly dark, rustic space with heavy wood tables and booths seems more inviting for a gathering of old friends than MC Hammer hanging out with his groupies. Add in a friendly, albeit fairly ubiquitous staff and you have a very nice spot to spend an evening.

The areas where it really counts are where Rockit really stands out though. Food and drink. So what if they have a great atmosphere? If the food and drink sucks, I won’t be going back. Luckily though, this place has it all.

Great signature beverages – a first visit wouldn’t be complete without trying the Bomb Pop (raspberry and lemon vodkas, blue Curacao, lemonade and grenadine). This outstanding cocktail combines the flavor you loved as a kid with a buzz that would make any 20 year old long for a birthday. If you’re feeling daring, a Blueberry Pie (Stoli Blue, splash of blueberry puree, pineapple juice, splash of ginger syrup, splash of roses, lime shaken and strained) should be a decent departure from your average bar fare.

However, as much as I love a great cocktail, even I throw enough crap into a shaker and pour gold once in awhile. Food on the other hand takes a bit more delicate touch. The food at Rockit is outstanding. While I can’t recall a single negative comment, I have repeatedly heard praise from all directions. Whether it be directed to the standard dinner menu or the scaled down late-night version, praise for Rockit’s food runs long.

Personally, I list their Cajun Salmon with Pasta amongst my favorite meals in the city. Coming in at just $18, this dish consists of excellent salmon resting on a bed of incredible pesto pasta. The pesto sauce was fresh and tasty and the pasta a filling counterpart to the wonderful salmon. As far as late night fare, my choice has repeatedly been the Grilled Chicken Sandwich. This rather gourmet take on a standard bar food dish features pesto mayonnaise and is served on a really quality roll.

I am almost embarrassed to say that I have never tried the signature Rockit Burger but I suppose that gives me a reason to go back. It also shows just how good these other two dishes are that I keep going back to them though I am utterly intrigued by another menu item.

I recommend Rockit to visitors and locals alike. The food, drink, and atmosphere are all superb and the price is quite low for such a sought after and classy establishment.

I know where you are going to go with this too. “I just don’t get it.” No, I really do trust me - and more than that I really wanted to like this place to satisfy my dreams of being a d-bag who talks about it anytime people bring up Chicago dining so that people know just how hard I rep. However, all my hopes and dreams came crashing to the ground with a small serving of fries.

How is a spot so desperate to be the sneaky good spot amongst all the other rubble going to mess up cheese fries so much? How is a spot that only serves hot dogs and fries going to piss on the entire faith of cheese fry lovers everywhere? I blame it on the cluckboxes who permanently smudge their culinary opinion records by deeming wein circle an institution of any sort.

For those of you lucky enough to have abstained long enough to read this life changing glimpse into the utter overratedness that is wein circle, let me give you a brief description of these despicable cheese fries.

While quality cheese fries ala those offered by the likes of gods in the game like Portillos feature smooth, creamy cheese that beautifully envelopes the fries before satisfying your every desire, Weiner Circle uses straight cheddar that crustifies the fries before the sweet aroma can even reach your nose. My mom makes better cheese fries.

If this article can save one soul from a wasted meal at Weiner Circle, I will feel I succeeded. I hope that everyone will continue the search to find a spectacular diamond in the ruff much like Wein Circle dreams of being. However, you can be a diamond in the rough when every cluckstick in town not only knows about you but stupidly touts your grub.

Upon our two parties entering, we were greeted merely by a sign “Please wait to be seated.” I have seen such fare before, normally at an off time when there is only one hostess working and she has taken another party to their table. Soon she returns and all is well in the world. However, this was 8pm on a Friday night and the dining room was crowded and in full swing. We proceeded to wait 10 minutes when a woman finally came over and could not comprehend how the two parties before her were not one. As lovely as these strangers looked, we were not particularly interested in sharing a table with them. The woman left.

A few minutes later another waitress came over and upon understanding that we were two separate parties, explained that it would be a 20 minute wait for us and a 30 minute wait for the others. I noticed that no one was seated at the sushi bar and inquired to its availability. She said that we could sit down.

To keep this review shorter than my dinner, I’ll resort to a timeline here:

• 5 min later – Asked for menus
• 10 min after menus – Asked to order
• 30 min after ordering – Asked if we were getting our drinks
• 10 min after that – Received soup, drinks, and someone else’s entrée
• 2 min after that – Went to cashier to get napkins
• 15 min after that – Received main course
• 10 min after finishing – Requested bill
• 5 minutes after asking – Received bill, went to cashier to pay

Notice not just the times, but the fact that we had to ask, and in a few spots stand up to walk and ask sometbody else, every step of the way to inspire action. At a spot where I was spending $60 for two people, this is inexscuseable.

See here is the thing. I’m a very patient diner. To upset me with poor service takes a lot. What this means is that when I do become upset I realize that the service is reaching epic proportions of horribility. This was probably the worst service I have ever had. It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night.

The food was fine, nothing special, but nothing horrific either. However, I will not return to Silver Spoon because of the absolutely terrible service we received. There are enough far better sushi restaurants that care enough to staff enough people to pay attention to their guests that I just don’t need to.

Unfortunately, I no longer live in the near vicinity of this glorious spot, but recently I found myself once again entering the storied walls. It was a stirring experience bringing back memories of first jobs and glorious meals alike. While old favorites like chili cheese burritos, soft tacos, and gorditas still grace the menu, my focus these days tends to be on the newer items.

The flagship of the new menu in my mind is the Frisbee-esque Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme. I originally ordered this little island of paradise as something of a joke after seeing the ubiquitous commercials and was absolutely blown away. The gold lies in the warm bottom where the spicy chicken mixes with the spice elicited by the nacho cheese and the result is a warm burst of flavor that will excite any palette. This warm spice is balanced with a light, fresh finish from the sour cream, lettuce, and tomatoes residing at the top of the Frisbee. I feel this is a must hit item for any self respecting foodie. And yes, you can only get it at Taco Bell.

My second go-to item takes the form of the Chicken Grilled Stuft Burrito. This is a heavy item, so bring your appetite, but that is exactly why it is appealing. For someone with an inner fat dude trying to escape like myself, I need something that is going to fill me up. The Grilled Stuft Burrito is willing to be that food. Don’t think this order is merely about size though. The Grilled Stuft Burrito brings the flavor with marinated chicken, tomatoes, and rice.

I have to admit this is the most my mouth has watered writing any of these reviews. So for those of you who have written off taco bell due to the restaurant it once was, I encourage you to reconsider. If you make it there as infrequently as I do, you can count on new items lighting up the menu on each visit. And I’d be willing to bet, they are mad good.