Understanding the most intriguing Facebook status

There are six options available, when picking your relationship status on Facebook: Single, in a relationship, engaged, married, in an open relationship, and… it’s complicated. While most of the other statuses are pretty much self-explanatory, the latter conveys a cryptic sense of mystery that you may want to reflect on. What exactly does it mean to point out relationship status as “It’s complicated”? Perhaps the person is trying to say they’re in a sort of relationship, or maybe they wish they were in a relationship with someone that doesn’t happen to reciprocate their affection? Does it mean they’re seeing someone but only casually, with no actual commitment going on? Are they affectionate towards an inanimate object or member of another species? Truth of the matter, it could mean any of those things…  and many other possible (or implausible) scenarios. When people choose this relationship status on their Facebook stage, it indicates they are not exactly available, but they’re not exactly committed. Kind of like the proverbial glass that’s half-full or half-empty, depending on how you look at it. If you’re looking to use Facebook to court someone, you can – and should – think of the “complicated status” as a key point to your advantage, whenever you see it displayed on the profile of someone you’re fancy of.

Learning how to use “it’s complicated”  to your advantage.

Maybe it’s not immediately obvious to you, but when someone chooses this term to describe their current relationship, that is actually good news for any potential romantic interests. And yes, that includes you… provided you play your cards right. Because “it’s complicated” indicates doubt and confusion coupled with an obvious insecurity and longing. It shows that person actually would like to be in a relationship, but for some reason it’s just not working out for them. When you realize that someone thinks of their relationship status as being messy… it actually opens up a world of opportunities, as far as the romantic game goes. For once, it’s a clear sign indicating that person could be receptive to potential romantic interests – such as you. If that person is defining their relationship status as “complicated”, it means you can be the simple and affectionate person that will barge into their lives and clear all their insecurities and satisfy their emotional needs. Can you do that? Let’s see how.

Keep it simple, find an opening, seduce!

When you really want to know what the person means with “it’s complicated”, you should just ask. That can be a great conversation starter, actually! You get to show that you care while engaging in personal conversation and expressing a willingness to be supportive; besides, talking about romance is often one of the best ways to get into romance. In case you don’t really know the object of your affection personally, there’s a good chance they’ll evade your question, or just refuse to provide a straight answer. That’s why you should be looking for some clues between the lines: in their actual profiles. In this day and age, you should always spend some time investigating the on-line activities of a person you have feelings for. Doing so, you’ll get a sense of what that person is all about, plus it will make it easier for you to think of interesting conversation topics, when the time for bonding comes. Keep this in mind when someone claims their relationship status is “complicated”, you can usually work it to your advantage. Take your time, do your research and look for an opening that you can base your subsequent seduction attempt. Make it fool-proof and prove that person that “it’s complicated” just doesn’t suit them.

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We live in the real world where human beings are by definition less than perfect, and this reality we live in has millions of shades and hues. Trying to conceive of these moral matters in terms of right and wrong unfortunately doesn’t work.

Healthy relationships are all about trust…  right?

If you’re still asking yourself this kind of question, there’s a good chance you’re caught up in overly simplistic worldviews. You need to put things in perspective and look at the big picture.

And the big picture is: no, ideally you shouldn’t have to spy on your spouse. But if that will somehow help safeguard your relationship before it begins to derail, or if you’re sure it will help preserve your emotional integrity… then yes, the end does justify the means, and in such cases a bit of snooping around may be the right thing to do.

Sometimes, your partner will engage in romantic foul play just because they’re feeling confused, or bored, or scared about being part of a serious relationship. All these situations can be managed efficiently if you become aware of what’s going on before it’s too late. And let’s face it… this is not the kind of thing your partner will tell you about if you just come out and ask.

Bottom line: sometimes spying on your spouse is the only way to salvage your relationship before bridges have been burnt and lines have been crossed to which there’s no return.

Additionally, spying can be the only way to know for sure who you’re really dealing with, before the relationship gets too serious. Many people decide to spy on their spouses not because they’re suspicious that something could be wrong, but simply because they want to check it they can really trust that person, before taking the relationship to the next level.

Using technology to take a discreet peek

Long gone are the days of hiring a private eye or driving around in your car discreetly following your spouse, looking to uncover their secrets. This is the XXI century, and there are much better and more effective ways to investigate what your other half is up to while away from your sight.

And the great thing is how you can get access to some pretty sophisticated espionage tactics for free or with little cost. If you know what you’re doing, you can get a lot of sensitive data your spouse may be trying to hide from you. You can get the intel by using some relatively simple tools most people don’t know about.

Some of the most interesting tactics currently available include:

• You can secretly install a piece of software in your spouse’s computer that will discreetly give you access to records of their on-line activity, including instant messaging sessions.
• You can use a reverse phone directory to check out who does that number that keeps calling your spouse belong to.
• You can even customize your spouse’s phone so it continually broadcasts their whereabouts to your own smartphone or personal computer.

And those are just some basic examples! The point here is that once you decide that spying on your spouse is the right thing to do, there are actually lots of tools you can rely on for that purpose.

Most importantly: if you play your cards right, your other half will never even know that you’ve been meddling in their private affairs, so if it turns out that no foul play has been taking place behind your back, you can just drop your suspicions and your spying, and go on with your happy life.

There is a line between investigating and prying

Before rounding up this article there’s an important point that should be addressed, which pertains to the ethics of spying on a romantic partner. There is a fundamental guideline that should be kept in mind while partaking in this kind of experiment:

It’s one thing to spy on your spouse because you distinctively feel something is wrong with your relationship, and you’re sure that asking won’t yield valid answers.

It’s another thing to spy because you’re compulsively insecure, or because you just feel compelled to meddle for no good reason.

Trust is a fundamental part of a steady relationship, and if you keep spying on your romantic partner just because you can… that will likely back-fire against you, sooner or later.

Make sure you’re acting with the intent of safeguarding your relationship, as opposed to merely attending to your selfish interests and romantic insecurity! That is the best way to ensure that spying on your spouse is indeed the right thing to do.

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While  looking for a free webcam monitoring software I found there were quite a few already like Webcam Monitor, but it was a bit complicated and there was no stealth. Then I stumbled across the easiest: UGOlog.com

The great thing about UGOlog is that you don’t need to install any software – that means if your spouse uses the computer too you wont be inadvertently saying “hey i’m spying on you..” when they look through the programs. It runs in the browser and comes with features such as motion detection, email alerts, and interval snapshots. Best of all – you can view the camera remotely while at work right on UGOlog.

The free version limits you on space and number of cameras you can use, but you only need the paid plans if you have more than one camera or are recording a lot of videos. If you’re interested in setting up a spy camera on the cheap, it’s worth checking out.

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Please note that it is not currently possible to install MobiStealth or any other spy software on a phone that you do not have physical access to. See the installation process below for an idea of what you need to do to start spying on a phone.

Installation process

Installing spy software on a smartphone takes a few steps and can be confusing for someone not familiar with the phone they are installing it on, but the process is fairly easy to do within 10-30 minutes.

• First, while on the home screen, press the menu key on your phone and go to Settings->Applications and make sure that “Unknown Sources” is checked.
• Next you must open the phone’s browser and visit the download link you have been given by MobiStealth. This will begin downloading the spy app which is about 1MB and will usually take no more than a minute on 3g.
• Once the download completes, pull down the notification menu at the top and press Download Complete to bring up the install confirmation. The app will be named SecurePhone and makes no mention of MobiStealth anywhere in order to disguise itself. Hit install and the installation will finish in a few seconds. Now hit Done.
• You will now need to restart the phone.
• Once the phone has restarted, you are presented with this screen:

Name of the app is SecurePhone and makes no mention of mobistealth anywhere in order to not look like a spy app. Process is well hidden with the name security.phone. 5 minutes after being installed, all current data (call logs/sms history/website history/etc) on the phone is uploaded to mobistealth’s website where you can look at it there.

Effectiveness

Data Logging (SMS/Calls/Pictures and Video)

Within a few minutes of entering my login information into the spy app all of my text messages, call history, browser history, pictures and videos were uploaded to the mobistealth control panel. The pictures and videos took a bit longer to show up though, so if they don’t show up immediately they will eventually. During this time I couldn’t tell that my phone was doing anything sneaky – it didn’t slow down my phone or do anything visible.. completely stealthy.

Location Tracking

Now that the data was all captured, it was time to test the location tracking. Tracking the phone can be done with or without the GPS on. With the GPS on you get street level accuracy, without it on it’s decently accurate still. Location data is polled every 8 minutes and this setting can be adjusted remotely to something lower. This history can be viewed on google map with plotted locations showing where the phone has been all throughout the day. I drove around town with it and it was really cool to see the exact plot that I drove. You will want to lower the location interval to something like 1 minute though if you want to see a more exact route while driving around town – this of course will increase battery drain on the phone cutting a few hours off it’s battery life. The default 8 minutes works fine for knowing where the phone is spending most of it’s time at.

Call and Surround Recording

These have to be the most exciting and useful features in MobiStealth, and good news – they work great! On my phone, I was surprised that this worked so well. All my calls were uploaded online and I could hear both sides of the conversation. MobiStealth says that this feature does not work on all phones (and they will give a 20% refund if it doesn’t as I’ve been told), but it worked on my phone and was really clear.

Surround recording I tested heavily. MobiStealth is able to record for 5 minutes, 10, or 30 minutes and basically uses the microphone in the phone to record. Because phones these days have automatic volume adjustment the sound was not quiet. You can actually hear what is going on even if the phone is in your pocket, as the phone is trying to pick up sound at low volumes. Conversations are incredibly clear, was for me, but this obviously depends on the quality of the phone. The only negative I can say about this feature is that the text message you need to send to the phone to activate surround recording is not hidden, so the “secret sms code” needs to be something you don’t mind them receiving.

Conclusions

Overall, MobiStealth is a very amazing product for spying. I can’t imagine needing any more features for spying on your spouses phone. I expected to have some problems and was pleasantly surprised that everything worked flawlessly.

Is it worth it?

While their main competitor (Mobile Spy) is somewhat cheaper – it does not offer the same features or the best online interface. I believe if you really want to spy on a phone completely, MobiStealth is the best choice and worth the extra dough.

Some FAQ’s I’ve been asked by Email

Do they provide updates for free?

Yes. As long as you are a MobiStealth subscriber you will receive the latest upgrades to the MobiStealth free of charge. The software on the phone though can not be automatically updated (phone limitations) – you will need to update it manually.

How do you download the logged data from the phone?

You only need a web browser and the internet. Go to mobistealth’s website and and log in to the Stealth Club. All phone pictures, videos, sms history, call data, etc is available there. Also, almost all the data can be downloaded to your computer for offline access as .jpg (pictures), .3gp (videos),  and excel .csv (call history/location/sms).

Can I install Mobistealth on the target phone remotely without having physical access to the phone?

This is not possible. And currently there is no such product in the world that can do this.

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Call your mom

This is a must… remember when your mom bought you hershes kisses every valentines day? The least you can do is call her! If you love her then there is no better day to say it .

Splurge on yourself

Hey guy, that’s not what I meant.. now clean yourself up.

Valentines Day is normally the day when flowers, candy, and gifts cost a gross amount of money compared to the rest of the 364 days of the year, and all of the suckers out there decide to buy their gifts the same day. Lucky for you, you can save your paycheck and buy yourself something instead. Have you been eyeing a new phone or something? Buy it. New suit? Buy it. Let valentines day be the guilty pleasure to yourself and declare it “Me day”.

Go out among the world

There’s no need to stay at home alone because you have no valentine. This day isn’t just about people that have someone special – it’s about love, and what better day to FIND love than on Valentines Day? Go out to the club and you just might find the love of your life, or you just might get lucky at least. You could also go to a show or anywhere else single people are hanging out. Falling in love is awesome, but making love ain’t half bad either.

Or Pretend It’s Just Another Day

It’s Valentine’s Day. Big. Farking. Deal. Just because it’s a day that everyone else is celebrating doesn’t mean you’ve got to observe and celebrate. Just pretend it’s a normal day: go to work, go to lunch, go for after-work drinks, and do all the things you’d do on a normal day. It only lasts 24 hours, and you spend the majority of that time in bed or at work. It will all be over soon.

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If you lack the imagination to engage a streak of romance naturally, there is no need to feel bad about it… especially since there are strategies you can use to re-kindle the connection to your other half. In case you need some ideas, this post will provide you with some romantic tips that you can rely on. Just try doing some of these things, and you’ll be surprised with how a simple gesture can make a positive impact in your relationship.

Random acts of affection.

When saying “I love you” just won’t do the trick, try doing something nice to make your romantic partner feel cherished. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or complicated, since sometimes a simple gesture of affection will go a long way. Just make sure it’s honest and heartfelt, and you can’t go wrong with  that. Some examples include:

Reach out and hold hands casually; when you started dating, you probably used to hold hands with your sweetheart all the time, and then you just lost the habit, right? Well, get it back! It doesn’t matter if you’re having breakfast, going for a walk or driving. Sometimes just holding hands will do a better job of expressing your feelings than anything you can say.

Offer to brush her hair / help him shave, or volunteer to perform a massage; sure, your girlfriend or boyfriend doesn’t necessarily need your help to do it… but they’ll probably appreciate the gesture if you volunteer to help. Furthermore, it’s a nice way of increasing the sense of intimacy between the couple.

Write a romantic note; everyone loves reading a romantic note, especially when there’s no apparent reason for it. Most people only bother scribbling down some words of affection when it’s a special occasion, or when they’re trying to apologize for doing something wrong. It’s too bad, since this kind of thing is much more convincing when it gets the receiving person by surprise.

A special night out.

When was the last time you planned a special night out, or a romantic dinner? If you can’t recall when the last time was, then you absolutely should make sure to do it as soon as possible. Try making reservations in a fashionable restaurant, or take your spouse to somewhere meaningful, such as the place where you first met. Make sure to go all out and get some flowers to go along with it, or maybe some live romantic music.

Surprise gift.

The thing about gifts is that most people only hand them out in special occasions such as birthdays and relationship milestones. This is nice and fine… but if you really want to make a statement, you need to rely on the element of surprise. Even if it’s something symbolic, a nice gift will help show him or her just how much you care.

Remember, these are just some general guidelines to get your imagination started. You can do anything you like, just as long as you are genuinely concerned about expressing your feelings. There’s no reason to be shy, since a clumsy attempt at romance is still much better than acting indifferent.

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If someone has went out of their way to hurt your feelings, it can be good for your self-esteem doing something to make things even. There are creative and harmless ways to get revenge which can be rather annoying for the victim, and allow you to get a sense of justice without crossing boundaries that might get you in legal trouble (such as smashing the windshield of their car or keying it). Some ideas for your consideration:

1) Junk Mail Mayhem!

Nobody really likes junk mail, right? Well, that’s a shame, since it’s fairly easy getting loads of it… just look for all kinds of contact request on-line forms, catalogs, loan companies and get started. If you spend a couple of hours on-line submitting the e-mail address and postal address of the person you want to effect revenge on… you will flood that person with junk mail rather easily, and they’ll find it much harder to make it stop.

2) Dog Poo Position!

There are lots of interesting pranks you can pull using dog poo: stuff it on the victim’s air conditioner or air vents, push it inside their car’s door handle, under their doormat, inside their shoes, gloves… you’re limited only by your imagination, and the availability of animal feces in your surrounding area.

3) Bird Toilet Training!

If the thought of handling dog poo – even for the sake of revenge – is out of the question, this solution will seem much more elegant. You just have to get a big box of bird seed and spread it over the victim’s car overnight. When the person come back in the morning, they’ll be surprised with the new bird-feces-colored paint job on their car.

4) Exhaust Pipe Stuffing!

Do you know what happens when you stick a potato in the exhaust pipe of a car? As much as the person tries, the car just won’t start, and it will probably take some time until they realize what’s going on. Quite likely they’ll even call a mechanic, and get late for work before they realize what’s going on. Simple, highly annoying and not much damaging to the car!

5) Naughty Presents Dispatch!

If you’re willing to spend a few bucks to get your point across, nothing screams “you’ve been served” like having the victim receive an extremely embarrassing package in their mailbox. Use your imagination and think of something neat, like sending over a DVD of extreme gay bondage to their mail every week for a couple of months. For best results, wrap in up in a transparent package, so the world can see what’s going on.

6) Sexy Services Subversion!

If you have a picture of the person you’re trying to get revenge on, just use it to make a neat flier promoting their “sexy escort” services, or something to that effect. Make it seem genuine, and spread it all around the neighborhood in strategic places. How’s that for neighborly embarrassment?

These are just some ideas, but it should be good enough to get your imagination started. Remember, you don’t want to do anything that involves property damage, otherwise you can get into trouble. Try to keep it subtle for best results, and make it as annoying as you possibly can. That’s how you make things even and get the last laugh.

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What you shouldn’t do if you really want your ex-boyfriend back.

Don’t act desperate, otherwise that will most likely push him away. You want to avoid all kinds of drama and emotional flair. You may think that bursting out in tears will make him feel sorry about leaving you behind, but it will most likely make him angry and uncomfortable. Flirting with him or submitting yourself to him physically may seem like a good idea, but it will more than likely have negative results.

Don’t start nagging him, otherwise you’ll come across as a stalker. Do not leave dozens of messages in his voice mail, do not text him each and every day asking for a second chance. Avoid acting as though you’re obsessed about him (even if you are), because that will just outright scare him. It may seem difficult, but you should try to keep your cool whenever you approach him or call him.

What you should do to get your ex-boyfriend back

Be civil and courteous; try to stay on good terms with him, show him you still value the friendship aspect of the relationship. Suggest doing something together without being pushy about it; maybe invite him to go out for drinks with some mutual friends, or just spend some time together. When you get a chance to talk to him, bring up the good moments you spent together, rather than just going on about how much you miss him.

Be honest and stay rational; you don’t want to hide your true feelings, but you don’t want to rub those feelings in his face, either: aim for a middle ground. If he asks about it, just be honest. Otherwise, don’t even bring it up until you feel the moment is right. When you do bring it up, try to express your feelings as neutrally and factually as possible. It’s very easy to get overly emotional while trying to re-connect with a past love interest, but excessive mushiness with bad timing will probably make him flee.

Understand what went wrong. If you’re serious about getting a second shot with this guy, then you have to clearly understand what went wrong the first time around, so you can avoid repeating the same mistakes. Show him that you’ve changed – don’t just tell him about it – and prove that you’re ready and willing to work through the problems you used to have as a couple.

Try to think of what he would have to do to win back your affection, if the roles were reversed; if you can manage to realize that and act on it, your chances of getting your ex-boyfriend back will be vastly improved.

Remember, there are no set rules when it comes to re-kindling a relationship. Positive courses of action involve subtlety and honesty, while negative attitudes include deceit and obsession. Work hard to keep a good perspective on the whole situation – try to look at things from his point of view, rather than just feeling sorry for yourself.

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If you’re thinking about spying on your spouse you have probably already detected some signs that your spouse may be cheating. Forget morals. Do the ends justify the means? Spying on your spouse can be the right choice for many reasons, and here are 7:

1. The desire to know the truth: Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn’t fit! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.

2. Spying can be a way of bonding: investigating the moves of a potentially cheating husband or cheating wive often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.

3. Bringing resolution to the relationship: You just want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand idle and wait. You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship, you want to get on with your life… you just want to know what awaits around the corner. You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.

4. Safeguarding your legal rights: If you strongly suspect a marital relationship could be about to end, you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having evidence does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my 7 Reasons For an Affair to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.

5. Protect yourself medically: if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife, you might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know. Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.

6. Secrets have repercussions: There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

7. Some of us just like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may want spy on your cheating spouse just to keep the sense of excitement a part of your life.

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First step..

1) Get rid of all physical evidence: If you’re holding on to those pictures and memorabilia of you and your ex-other half, that really won’t help you stop thinking about that person. In fact, you should go over your house and remove all evidence that even vaguely reminds you of the relationship you’re trying to get through. There’s no need to get drastic and throw everything away, or burn it to ashes (although some people find that is cathartic), but you have to get that stuff in a box and out of your sight. If you can’t do this, then you’re just fooling yourself, secretly hoping your ex may come back.

2) Cleanse all psychological attachments: You have to get into the “now I’m single and I’m happy” mindset, and to achieve such a thing, you have to get rid of mental attachments to the person you’re trying to forget. To begin with, you must admit to yourself that it’s over, and that’s just how it is. Then, you should get a new routine; if you keep going to the same places you used to go with your ex, dining in the same restaurants, and sitting in the same café where you first met your ex… that will keep reminding you of that person, and making yourself miserable for no good reason.

3) Write yourself a letter/journal: one of the big problems with forgetting someone is getting caught up in mood swings. One minute you’ll feel fine and clearly remember why the relationship didn’t work, but the next minute you’ll  just focus on the good moments and feel nostalgic, even idolize that person you’re trying to left behind. Keeping a journal or writing yourself a letter can help improve your perspective in these darker moments. Write down why the relationship didn’t work, clearly remind yourself the faults of that person, avoid glorifying him/her in your writing. When you start feeling nostalgic and urging to call your ex, do yourself a favor and read all that you’ve written down for a bit of a reality check.

4) Face the world: If you just stand around feeling lonely and miserable, forgetting about your ex will be much harder. You need to get out and start living, walking around on your own two feet without feeling as though you lack the support of a romantic partner. Avoid jumping in a rebound relationship, since that won’t help with your self-esteem; rather, get some time to yourself, do a bit of soul-searching and try to understand what went wrong in your previous relationship, so you can get it right the next time around.

This article has provided you with some ideas that you can use to help you shift your focus from woe to hopeful; there are many strategies you can rely on to help you overcome a dead relationship, but ultimately, it’s all a matter of choice and will power. If you’re not convinced that you have to start living in the present rather than indulging fantasies of a past imperfect, no advice will be much effective. Before anything else… you need to be honest with yourself, and prepare to make a change.

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