Hair Bows & Guitar Picks

THINGS JUST FLOATING AROUND IN MY NOGGIN

2012-01-31T17:47:00.002-02:00

I know I have said this time and time again but man oh man how time flies...I can not keep up.

So I am sitting here with 1,001 things floating around in my head that I want to share but I just don't know where to even start. So this might be an all over the place kinda post so hold on and let's see if you can keep up, shall we?

I am still on my meds. which is a huge feet for me because as I have told you in the past I usually give up on them...but this time around I am staying on them. My doctor did up my dose a little bit and also gave me something for these anxiety attacks I keep having. As I get older I seem to freak out way more easily, like the littlest things get to me, I will start breathing heavy and before you know it I am in a full blow panic attack...crazy shit.

I have not been running nearly as much as I would like as my knee gives out on me way to easy. I will be doing great and then all of a sudden my knee is in constant pain and swollen so bad I can hardly walk....then I rest it for awhile and start running again and the same thing happens again. I really need to get it looked at but with no health insurance that's a little difficult right now.

That's another thing...I hate not have insurance. It's funny how when I have it I never seem to go to the doctor much but then I don't have insurance and all kinds of things go wrong. I am suppose to to go back to the dermatologist for a check up every six months for my skin cancer but I have not been able too...I'm just praying that everything is ok and that I have no more spots pop up.

I had a really neat photo shoot a couple weeks ago and would love to share some of the pictures with you but since it's a gift I can't right now, not until after the gifts is given anyway....just in case. I mean I am sure they have no idea about my blog but you never know. Anyway, it was really fun and the kids were so amazing and so funny. I wish I had more opportunities to do this kind of thing because it's so much fun and I love finding new ways and new places to shoot.

Both of these photos were taking with my iPhone...I really love how they turned out and I like how I caught the rays of sunshine above the palm tree.

Oh how I wish I was out on that beach today....

IPHONE PHOTO DUMP FRIDAY

2012-01-27T16:12:00.002-02:00

I was looking through the pictures on my iPhone and had to smile because this week it was about my family. It was about birthday parties, making brownies together and just being a family. Kyle even surprised me and let me not only take a picture of him but let me be in it with him.

WINE WEDNESDAY

2012-01-25T14:54:00.000-02:00

Two weeks ago I featured this wine but in a red, so I thought this week I would feature it in a white this week.

Frei Brothers - Chardonnay

This 2009 Russian River Valley Chardonnay has hints of green apple, orange zest, and apple pie. It has a bit of a nutty finish to it which I surprisingly enjoyed.

I am not really a white wine drinker unless is summer or we are having fish, but let me tell you this wine was really good and very refreshing.

MUSIC MONDAY

2012-01-23T11:43:00.000-02:00

It's Monday which means it's Music Monday.

Adele - Set Fire To The Rain

I don't think this is the official music video for this song but I really like this video a lot.

IPHONE PHOTO DUMP

2012-01-20T14:09:00.000-02:00

Can you believe it's almost February? Where oh where does the time go? I seem to be asking myself this question more and more everyday.

I am back to posting my weekly iPhone photo pictures...mainly because I have a new phone that actually lets me take pictures again and because I think it's a fun way to show you what our week looked like in pictures.

As you can see our week pretty much involved....music, wine, food and kids...and I would not have it any other way.

So what did your week look like?

WINE WEDNESDAY

2012-01-18T16:43:00.002-02:00

I saw this wine featured in my Food & Wine magazine and it had a really good rating so I knew I wanted to try it. I finally found it at our local liquor store and snagged it for about $16.

Entwine - Merlot 2009

Food and Wine make a delicious pair; the Food Network has partnered with Wente Vineyards, America's oldest continuously-operated family-owned winery, to create Entwine.

It's juicy and mouthwatering - think midsummer plums and cherries with a hint of black tea....yummy.

This will definitely be a wine that we will be buying again and one that we will try to keep on hand for guests or who ever else might wanna pop over for a drink.

A HUNTING WE WILL GO

2012-01-17T17:51:00.000-02:00

Last week I posted about our new little beauty that we are so enjoying, but this week I wanna tell you what's even more fun then listening to our new records....finding them.

There are not many places around these parts that sell records, and old ones at that. So Saturday morning Dominic woke me up and declared that today we were going on a scavenge hunt for records. We hit a couple spots we thought for sure would have some but nope, but then we went to our local flea market and hit the jack pot, the mother load if you will. We found this guy who had tons and tons of records....the only problem was you really had to dig. Like you had to move boxes around and move stacks of crap just to get to them.

The guy was really cool and let us stay there for hours looking and digging and moving crap around to look through all the boxes (which we only got to about half of them - so guess where we will be this weekend?).

After we made a pile of what we wanted the guy would get out his book and look up all the prices and then would sell them to us for 75% off the book price...most of them were only about $1 or $2 which was totally cool with us. But see that Fats Domino record...well that one was listed in the book for $100 and the guys knew Dominic really wanted it so he gave us a great deal on it and let me tell you it made that whole day all the more fun for the both of us.

While walking around the flea market I spotted this old 1910 Whiskey box that I knew we had to have to store all of our new finds and I am totally in love with it and it looks so cool sitting next to the record player holding all of our new treasures.

WINE WEDNESDAY

2012-01-11T16:54:00.000-02:00

Gosh, it's been like forever since I did a Wine Wednesday and oh how I have missed it. This year I am going to try to get back in to the grove of it and hopefully you all will help me out, like giving me some suggestions on what I should try or feature here.

Frei Brothers 2008 Pinot Noir

"Our 2008 Russian River Valley Pinot Noir is medium-bodied, with flavors of dark cherry and blue and black fruit. This wine has an earthy and robust character which is complemented by subtle hints of oak from French and American oak barrels."

We got this bottle of wine from some really good friends of ours for Christmas and let me tell you what, they so know me and what I like because this wine was so me and so very delicious.

LISTEN TO SOME JAZZ - IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND

2012-01-10T12:30:00.001-02:00

Check out this little beauty I bought for Dominic yesterday....

yes it's a record player and I totally blew my kids minds with this beauty. It's so funny to me that they have never seen one or heard one play...EVER. I had to explain to Kyle that when I was younger I had records and not CD's and iPods like he is use to and let me tell you I blew his mind with all my knowledge, or well I'd like to think so, maybe I just blew his mind with how old I am but whatever.

Dominic has been wanted one for a very long time but I was not all that into it until last month when we flew to Pennsylvania to visit some friends and while we were there we got to listen to their amazing collection of records. And amazing can not even begin to describe it...it was mind blowing really. While we where up there they took us to a cute little flea market kinda store where Dominic promptly bought about 10 records...to which I was all like this is cool but how the hell are we going to play these once we get home?

So for Christmas I was on a hunt to buy him a record player/turn table. I hunted and hunted and could not find the right one or one that was not so bet up and looked like once I got it home it would just fall apart and not play anyway. But then I found this beauty here at Target and headed out on Christmas Eve (because I love to shop under pressure and all) to get it and of course they were sold out but gave me a rain check and yesterday I collected. I picked it up, came home and got it all set up and had a record playing when he walked in from work....and let me tell you I swear I wish I would have had a camera because the look on his face was priceless!

Last night we spent hours listening to jazz...and OMG let me tell you it was truly amazing. I have such a new found love for Louis Armstrong....man that guy was so talented and the music coming out for the record player it truly awesome. If you have never experienced jazz though a record player - you must - it's just one of those things I can not explain you must hear it.

MUSIC MONDAY

2012-01-09T13:37:00.000-02:00

It's Music Monday and I am so excited to share with you a couple different version of one of my favorite country songs.

Many of you know and have heard Jason Aldean's song Dirt Road Anthem....this one here:

But did you know that Brantley Gilbert and Colt Ford really wrote that song and they have their very own version which I am so in love with right now...like I have been driving the house nuts playing it over and over again and this morning I had it on repeat while I ran my 2 miles....so yes that is just how much I love this version right now and I totally think Brantley Gilbert is HOT...shhh but let's not share that with Dominic Ok?

And then you have this amazing version with all three of these guys singing it together live which I just love watching...and I love all the extra stuff they throw in there too.

So there you have it folks one song done so many different ways and all three so totally awesome!

NO NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR ME

2012-01-04T17:02:00.000-02:00

I am not a New Year's Resolution kinda gal. I just don't get it, I mean why would you set your self up for failure? Ok, ok I am sure there are some people out there that actually keep theirs and that's all fine and dandy but the other 1,001 of us will not even keep it past the first month. Just yesterday I heard my boss say "well there goes my New Years Resolution" and it was only 3 days into the New Year.

So, while I don't make any standing New Year's Resolutions, I do however think about things that I would like change or try to improve on this next year. Things that I don't need to go around telling others about, like hey I am going to lose 20 lbs by summer, or hey I'm going to do what ever it may be, only to let myself down and look like an ass to others, and seriously when some one tells me of their New Year's Resolution I just think yeah that will last about a week. Maybe I am a hard ass but in my 40 years I have never know anyone to have kept their New Year's Resolution...have you?

Here are a couple fun facts I came across about New Year's Resolutions:

63% of people say they are keeping their resolutions after two weeks (ok I can kinda see this)
67% of people say they are keeping their resolutions after two months (I totally don't think so, but that's just me)

The top four New Year's Resolutions that are made are:

1) Increase exercise (I have said this one 1,001 times in my life)
2) Be more conscientious about work or school
3) Develop better eating habits (yep I have tried this one too)
4) Stop smoking, drinking, or using drugs (including caffeine)

So tell me do you make a New Year's Resolution or are you like me and feel that it just sets you up for failure.

IT'S BEEN A YEAR - ALREADY

2011-12-28T13:12:00.000-02:00

As I type this post I can hardly believe it's been a year already....a year since the most unbelievable thing you could ever imagine played out right in our drive way.

I won't lie it's been a very hard year for Dominic and I. It's affected me in ways that I never thought were possible. I have suffered, and I am still suffering, major depression from it. But on the other hand it has made me a stronger person. It has made me realize that life can be gone in a blink of an eye. It has made me realize that depression is serious business and needs to be treated and dealt with.

We have now learned that Bobby suffered from depression and when he drank he became even more depressed and often talked about killing himself, but his family and his girlfriend (who was one of my very best friends) just thought it was talk and no one ever put to much into it. Well, if there is one thing that I learned from this tragic incident is that if someone is talking about killing them selves you need to pay attention...you need to get them help.

Looking back now, It's hard to believe that it's been a year already and it's hard to believe that we came out stronger because of it. It took me many months, a lot of crying and a ton of baby steps to be able to say this but I can honestly tell you that I am ok and the scenes from that night, no matter how horrible they were, don't play out in my head anymore and the nightmares are finally gone.

So tonight, Dominic and I are going to sit outside and have a drink and make a toast to Bobby and for a year that is now over and a New Year that is right around the corner.

MUSIC MONDAY

2011-12-26T16:00:00.000-02:00

It's Monday and that means it's Music Monday! I know, I know I have not been doing it that much over here but I am back into the swing of things around here and am ready to get this party started again.

So here is my new favorite song this week - Amy's Song by Brent Anderson

I have never heard of him before but just happened to catch this song on the radio the other day and fell in love with it...and it might totally have something to do with the "Amy what you wanna do" part or it might just be I like the whole story behind the song...what ever it is this is what I am listening to this week.

POST CHRISTMAS RAMBLINGS

2011-12-26T14:34:00.000-02:00

Hoping all of your had a very Merry Christmas.

We had a nice small and very quite Christmas and it was perfect. We stayed in our PJ's all day and the kids got to open and play with their toys for most of the day. We made and decorated some cookies and I made a small but really tasty dinner for us. It was just what I needed this year. There were some tears shed but they were only happy tears and tears of joy.

The kids got way too much, just like every year, but they were happy and so was I. I stress every year about getting them the perfect gifts and making sure they each get enough and to open and I know now that I don't need to going forward. They always get enough and they always love what they get. I have good kids and man oh man they sure have proven that to me in the last year of so.

Here is a couple pictures I took with the iPhone....I know they are a bit fuzzy but you know me and probably know that I have yet to upload any pictures from my camera. But hope you enjoy these little tid bits from our Christmas morning.

IT'S HARD DAMN IT

2011-12-20T13:13:00.000-02:00

So I have falalaed my house and I must say it looks pretty damn good for what little bit I did this year. This year we opted for not having a big tree, or a real one for that matter, we have a nice small one that I think will have to do for this year.

It's hard to celebrate or even get into the holiday spirit after losing my sister a couple months ago. Even though my sister was never here, in Florida, with us on Christmas it's still hard. It's hard knowing that we won't be getting boxes and boxes of gifts from her this year...she always sent so much stuff for the kids and it always made me smile inside knowing how much she loved shopping for them and how much they all loved getting gifts from their Aunt Niki. Ever year she always sent Christmas ornaments for the whole family and I think that is what I will miss the most. As I was taking out some of our Christmas decorations I came across a lot of things she had sent us over the years and just broke down and bawled.

I keep waiting to get her awesome Christmas card and letter. She would write these long letters, on really cool stationary, updating everyone on what was going on in her and her husband's lives. I remember last year being on the phone with her talking about Christmas and her husband yelling in the background because she was making him sign the Christmas cards too....and her and I laughed so hard at the things he was saying. Good times, good times that I am really missing today.

I am trying to be strong and keep a smile on my face this holiday season when really all I wanna do is lock myself away in my bedroom and come out after it's all over with. I am trying to be strong for the kids because I know they are feeling it too. I am trying to be strong when I really don't want to damn it!

WHO HAS THE CHRISTMAS CHEER NOW?

2011-12-16T13:31:00.001-02:00

This morning I woke up early having a major panic attack. I was sweating and my heart was racing and I was really freaking out. I was freaking out because there is only 9 days till Christmas, which the kids keep drilling into my head every damn day and telling me I need to get with it, and I have not put one single decoration up, I have not even bought one present for my kids.

So here I am at 6:00am (before getting ready for work) digging out Christmas stuff and putting it around the house. I had this magical idea that I would get it all done in an hour, before I had to get in the shower and get my butt ready for work, and once the kids got up they would be all like "wow mom you're so cool". I dug and dug and dug for stuff we have burried under monds of other stuff and managed to get a little bit out and up but the kids were totally unfazed by all my hard work. While they were unfazed I was all like shit I just rocked it and in an hours time and personaly I think the house looks pretty damn good.

I dropped all the kids off at school and was heading to Starbucks to grab a coffee before work when all of a suden my car just kinda pulled me into Walgreens were I promtly bought $100 in lights and other crap, we really didn't need, and two really cool 4 foot pre-lite trees to put outside by my front doors.

Now let my kids tell me I'm not rockin 'the Chirstmas spitit, because if they do then hell maybe there just won't be any presents under the tree for them, which would totally help with my anexity about what to get them and if I have enough money or not, but as of today this momma is totally digging the Christmas cheer now....fa la la la la la la la!

THESE WILL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW

2011-12-16T12:55:00.004-02:00

A sneak peak at our PA trip...all photos taken from my phone because I am lazy and have yet to upload the ones from the camera, which are probably a heck of a lot better then these...just saying.

I SAY SCREW THEM

2011-12-14T14:51:00.000-02:00

I have not been around here much lately and I really don't like it. I love writing my stories and getting all these thoughts in my head out but every time I try I get stressed out. Stressed because I feel like I really can't write what I want to. I can't express my true feelings and thoughts because I know so many people (in my real everyday life) that are reading and reading just to judge me. But today I say screw them! If they want to judge me and how I live my life then just go right ahead, the only thing I ask is that if you don't have something nice to say then just keep your damn mouth shut...just like your momma taught you, or should have taught you anyway.

Ok, now that that is out there you might see me around here a bit more often and that makes me happy.

So, this past weekend Dominic, Donnie as his friends like to call him, went to Pennsylvania for the weekend. One of Dominic's good friends from his childhood was celebrating his 40th birthday. His wife planned a huge surprise party for him and asked if we could attend. So Dominic and I flew up there as part of his surprise and man was it ever a surprise. Not only was it a great surprise for Serge to see us there, but it was even more of a surprise for me, because I not only met some really cool people but I made some super cool new friends and we totally fell in love Monica & Serge's little ones (but really who would not?).

It was a fast trip but a much needed one for Dominic and I. We have had a rough go of if for the past couple of years and the stress levels between us sure has taken it's toll, but this trip was what we needed. We had lots of time on the plane and in the airports to just be us, to just talk and to just reconnect, everyone needs that once in awhile.

I am still on my meds. (in case you are all wondering) and I am still feeling pretty good. I still have my crazy days but shit who doesn't? I mean 3 kids, 3 dogs, 2 jobs and a house to clean and all that goes with it. But for the most part I think it might be working. Well I think it's working, I'm never too sure or not.

I have not put out on single Christmas decoration! I know, I know I suck....but I have just not been in the holiday spirit. But this weekend I promised my kids that I would put out some Christmas things and I would even try to buy and put a couple presents under our little tree we are using this year.

IPHONE PICTURE DUMP

2011-12-02T13:58:00.001-02:00

Happy Friday....

It's been awhile since I did an iPhone photo dump and man oh man as I was looking at my phone this morning I sure could tell. I think I take more pictures using my phone then my camera anymore.

A CLEAR HEAD

2011-11-30T17:51:00.001-02:00

Remeber this post I wrote a couple weeks ago where I said I was going to get out and start running because the doctor told me too? Well guess what? For the month of November I logged 25.18 miles, and I didn't even start my running until November 10th, so that means in 20 days I logged 25.18 miles. Holy crap, even as I type it I still can not believe it!

And you know what? I feel great, I feel fit and I feel healthy. Not to mention that I have even lost some weight. Running has really helped me to clear my head and kinda sort stuff out before I start my day. It's funny but it's true, running is kinda helping (in a good way) play a part in my depression. Which by the way, I have been taking my pills for a month stright now and I am starting to see some positve things happening. The doctor told me that we can increase it again and I think I will be taking her up on the offer here soon as some days I still have a hard time dealing with life.

Watch out December, because I am hitting the road hard and am going to double that 25.18....well I hope to at least!

WARNING - DEEP SHIT HERE

2011-11-14T19:00:00.000-02:00

I tweeted this morning:

Help me out here: is anyone really happy with themselves? With their life? I mean like truly happy?

I have been contemplating this lately. I think most people, me included and pretty happy, but what I want to know is who is really truly deep down inside happy. Happy with every aspect of their lives. Are you happy with your self, your spouse, your kids, your job, you fiances, everything.

This deep I know but I need to know. I have this false idea, I think that I need to be happy in all areas of my life and when I'm not I freak out and want to throw it all away and start over. I always say, to others, I am happy but deep down I'm always thinking shit if they even knew how much I hate in my life.

I am not saying I hate my kids or anything so don't go freaking out on me, but what I am saying is that growing up I really thought I would have more...not sure what but more. I think I want more happiness and more peace in my life. But no matter how hard I try I am never happy or at peace. What is up with that?

Some could say that it's what you make of it and they are true in some ways. I mean should you stay with someone you fight with or have fallen out of love with? Should you stay in a job just because it's a job? I personally don't think so.

I guess it starts with you right?

But how do you make you happy when you have never been happy. As far back as I can remember I have never totally been happy.

Deep, deep shit today!

MUSIC MONDAY

2011-11-14T14:49:00.001-02:00

The post where I share with you what I am loving this week...these music choices are all mine and are just ones that have just been stuck in my head. Enjoy!

Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel

JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED

2011-11-09T12:27:00.001-02:00

So it's been a week already since I started taking my new depression meds. and I can simply tell you that I am still unsure if they are working or not. After yesterday mornings melt down I am sure Dominic and the kids would say they are not working. But at last I am going to keep taking them and give it the full month like I promised. Last Saturday, like the doctor ordered, I increased my dosage and was on an emotional roller coaster all day but come Sunday I seemed fine again.

The one thing that the doctor stressed was that I need to get out everyday and walk, run or ride my bike. She told me that I should probably do it alone so that I would not get distracted or feel over whelmed by the kids or anything. So this morning I got up early and took our black lab for a walk, well she might have been taking me for a walk but I'll never tell. It felt good to get out there and walk (I even ran for a little ways too). I can see why she said I needed to do this, because this morning I have so much more energy and I feel so good and ready to take on the world....shit I have even been contemplating whether or not I might want to run another half marathon or not.

If you remember back in 2008-2009 I ran 5 half marathons and loved it. I have always loved to run but pretty much gave it up last year after I was laid off. I look back now and see that me being laid off set a lot of my depression in motion. But, I am thinking maybe taking it a step at a time and trying to ease myself back into it again might be a good thing. When I run I seem to put all my thoughts away and just run...which if you suffer from depression you know it's hard to put all those thoughts, that are running around like crazy in your head, away.

Maybe running is just what the doctor ordered....oh wait, it is!

IPHONE PHOTO DUMP

2011-11-08T09:00:00.000-02:00

Just another week around these parts....

I love making these collages because I get to sit back and think about all the memories we just made and that I caught some of them in pictures!

THE LAUNDRY ROOM THAT COULD

2011-11-07T16:50:00.000-02:00

I am sitting on the computer looking at blogs, magazines and at any pictures I can find on what to do with my laundry room. That is the room I most hate in this house but it's also the room that we seem to use quite a bit. This room leads to the garage which is were my truck is parked so we have to come and go through this room. It's also the spot where EVERYTHING gets dumped. The kids leave their shoes, jacket and backpacks in there all the time which drives me nuts.

It's a really small laundry room with not a lot of room to move around in and it's always a mess, it really is always one of the messiest rooms in the house. It has became a catch all for anything and everything in our house! I was thinking about maybe painting it and finding new things for the walls but what color and what do you hang on laundry room walls?

Let me tell you that looking on the Internet for pictures is awesome but OMG do people really have laundry rooms like this? and if you so I am totally not judging you I am just a little in awe of them.

But please tell me one thing....who really who puts a lamp in their laundry room? I like it and all but it just seems a bit strange to me. But hell, don't get me wrong if one of those make over shows wanted to come in and give my laundry room a full make over like one of these rooms I would not say no, just saying.

So here I sit with a messy laundry room that is begging to be updated and all these pictures and I still have no clue what to do. I guess the creative juices just aren't flowing these days.