The Rick and Steve Blog

Who's Your Daddy, Dixie?

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:21:53 EST

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Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: "Shopping"

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:58:39 EST

Evan and his mother are so close. And their relationship is muy unique! How many other moms would sponge-bathe their 19-year-old son's elderly, wheelchair bound, AIDS-surviving sugar daddy? And how many sons encourage their mothers to flash their breasts to boost online traffic? Given all that, what's a little slave trading among family members? As long as a profit is made and Evan's online numbers are soaring, all is good in the world. And if nothing else, they can also go shopping. Ah, family....

If God Was Jewish...

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:54:40 EST

CHUCK: "If God was Jewish, the Bible would probably be more entertaining."...

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 208)

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:43:55 EST

Holy cliffhanger! Evan here, and talk about a Christmas to remember! First off, Steve and Dana decided to get married. Yeah, you heard right. It was all about Steve's insurance being good for Dixie, whose paternity test Kirsten, Rick and Steve were waiting for while keeping it secret from bride-to-be Dana. God, it's too much soap opera for me. So Steve's crazy racist mom Joanna shows up and wants to throw Steve the wedding of the century. And my mom shows up running from the INS! Luckily, Chuck and I pulled a Tim Gunn and gave her an extreme makeover: immigrant edition. Joanna was trying to make Dana over, too, by forcing her to wear a wedding dress. When Kirsten hopped on board the wear-a-dress train, Dana said she'd wear it but would break up with Kirsten if she did!! But all that was nothing to the moment Franz Nerdlinger busted into the wedding with Dixie's paternity results. Which meant Dana suddenly found out that Steve sneaked his sperm in her v-jayjay. Which meant that Dana tried to kill Steve! And as she did this, we were told to go here to vote for who we want to be Dixie's dad. I hope we don't have to wait too long to find out! Love ya, mean it! Until next season! Smooches crotches, bitches! Evan...

Holiday Carol

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:44:23 EST

It's time for a holiday tune that everyone can sing! Holiday Carol From Ep. 208 "Marry X-Mas" Music: Meiro Stamm Lyrics: Q. Allan Brocka [CONDIE AND CAROLERS] Hanukkah, Christmas, Ramadan Christmukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice too And If you don't believe in nothing Happy that to you Hanukkah, Christmas, Ramadan Christmukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice too And If you don't believe in nothing Happy that to you ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Paolo-Emilio & Agent Orange!

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:41:13 EST

A devastatingly attractive Italian, Paolo-Emilio is just two clients shy of being an outright gigolo. But after working with Steve's mom Joanna, he's hoping his future clients will be a lot more upscale and a lot less racist. Agent Orange never met an immigrant he didn't deport. If gay marriage were legal Agent Orange would kill to be Mrs. Lou Dobbs....

Come for the validation, stay for the cookies

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:32:13 EST

Founded by a bunch of gay hippies in the mid '70s, the West Lahunga Retropolitain Community Church performed the world's first same sex marriage. A very social church, their mantra is, "Come for the validation, stay for the cookies." ...

Who's Your Daddy, Dixie?

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:40:18 EST

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Rick & Steve Season 2: Episode 8 Preview - A Holy War

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:29:31 EST

You'd think a game of Rock Band between friends would be harmless enough, right? Well it would be if Steve could actually sing. Even his hot avatar, Jimmy Sexman, can't save him... But that drama pales to the clatter raised when the topic of Christmas presents comes up. (Yep, it's still pre-Xmas in West Lahunga.) Jewish Dana is not doing any gift-giving, nosirree! But what about Baby Dixie? Should she be deprived? Leave it to Chuck to save the day with some illegal handicapped parking placards! See! The spirit of the holidays is alive and well! Check out the season finale of Rick & Steve on Tuesday, Jan. 27th at 10PM/ET, only on Logo....

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: "Nickname"

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:26:37 EST

Kirsten tries to figure out a cute pet name for her beloved spouse Dana. But since "Truckface" has been used already (snagged years ago by Dana's parents), this requires some creative thinking. Nothing too butch, or mannish please. It should be endearing, yet sassy right? Something that emphasizes Dana's sweet and sparkling personality. Hmmmm... This is gonna be difficult....

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: "Crying"

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:03:44 EST

Thank Goddess for the Lesbian Mother's Non-Judgmental Almanac! Now that Kirsten has it memorized, lesbi-parenthood is a cinch. Now she and Dana can focus on raising a lesbi-baby who will fight for women's rights, queer issues and free-range kindergartens! But as Dana points out: "Clay Aiken has a baby. How hard can this be?" Cue Baby Dixie squawling in her crib. Only 18 years to go!...

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 207)

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:58:33 EST

Evan here! Okay, so a lot happened this week! First off, Dixie's magical powers are getting out of control! So much so that Kirsten and Rick took her to see Franz at the Hall of Men-Zuh (nerd alert!) and he did a bunch of tests on her. But even with all the scientific stuff at his disposal, Franz ended up needing Dixie's daddy's sperm. Which meant Rick had to tell Kirsten that Steve could be Dixie's father. It wasn't pretty. Speaking of not pretty, Dana got so angry over a false Anderson Pooper story about lesbian gangs that she up and formed a lesbian gang to go deal with him! That wasn't only not pretty, it was downright fugly! But at least we made up for the fugly when glamorous reality TV stars Gina Michaels and Manfred Dax (also known as ManGina) moved across the street from Condie... ...who loved having them there for all of like 2 seconds, until she realized they were stealing her spotlight. As the lesbians and Condie and the reality stars all had it out in a street war... Steve agreed to do a paternity test, and Kirsten agreed not to tell Dana that Steve could be Dixie's daddy until the tests come in... If Steve is the daddy, can you say World War 3? Smooches crotches, bitches!...

ST-GAY

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:25:43 EST

CHUCK: "Condie, YOU'RE a breeder." CONDIE: "But I've slept with enough gays that I have sexually transmitted gay!"...

No Dummies Allowed!

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:16:28 EST

Few have been inside the impressive Hall of Men-Zuh, which is rumored to have more secret lairs than Dick Cheney's bathroom. The Hall's most recent invention, Literatine Powder, which increases muscle growth as one reads classic novels, has been nominated for a Nobel Prize. ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Manfred Dax, Gina Michaels & Pepperjack!

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:14:57 EST

If you've done it, Manfred Dax and Gina Michaels have done it a hundred times, and harder. This fresh-out-of-rehab celebreality couple, known the world over as Man-gina, recently went into hiding in West Lahunga Beach, but whether their detox will last through another TV season remains to be seen. Their baby Pepperjack earns more money in a week than you do in five years....

A One-Stop Shop!

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:11:52 EST

This non-for-profit agency sponsors everything from HIV research and counseling to bad regional theater. Come to their once-a-month Celebrity HIV Testing Fair, where you can get the good or bad news from the likes of Judith Light, Kathy Griffin, or the cast of Dante's Cove. ...

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: "No Arms!"

Wed, 7 Jan 2009 17:01:50 EST

Would you ditch your boyfriend if he had no arms? What if his face got scraped off by a lawnmower? (Eeeeeeeeeek!) Since you�ve probably got enough on your plate, Rick and Steve are spending some quality time debating these pressing concerns. Are these two insane? Or just so madly in love they've got nothing else to worry about? Who can say? But is it wrong to find the idea of sucking schnapps through a straw via a hole in your neck oddly appealing?...

Rick & Steve Season 2: Episode 7 Preview - "Are We In A Lesbian Gang?"

Wed, 7 Jan 2009 16:58:19 EST

Breaking News from Anderson Pooper: Lesbian Gangs are terrorizing West Lahunga! So why is Dana so jumpy? Is this issue hitting close to home? Meanwhile, why are Rick and Kirsten taking Dixie to the doctor? Obviously, there's a lot going on in the next episode of Rick & Steve. Thank goodness that helpful Ann Coulter stops by to help put it all in perspective. Back to you, Anderson! Check out the next episode of Rick & Steve, premiering Tuesday, Jan. 13th at 10PM/ET on Logo....

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 206)

Wed, 7 Jan 2009 09:52:06 EST

Hey, bitches! Evan here! So some weird stuff's happening in West Lahunga Beach. That daughter of Rick and Steve and Dana and Kirsten's? She's got some bizarre magical powers! And last night they were put to the test by none other than Rick and Steve's pussy, Pussy! It started when Ms. Mommy-Worry-Wart Kirsten lost Dixie! Yeah, how do you do that? And so she called us to help her find Dixie... ...who was being led to a Chinese restaurant and cat food factory (Don't think I�ll be dining there anytime soon!) by Pussy, who had gathered her evil cat army... Meanwhile, at the gym Steve and his ethnically diverse (big words, huh!) pals talked about racism, but I don't pay that much attention to that stuff cuz I eat every color of the rainbow. Let's just say they ended up in South Lahunga Beach, and one of 'em was packing heat. After a baby-cat war, Dixie got back home without Dana even noticing she'd been gone, so everything turned out okay - except those weird powers of Dixie's still haven�t been explained... Smooches crotches!!...

Letters To Dixie: Everything in Moderation

Wed, 7 Jan 2009 09:33:37 EST

Best Gay Mac n' Cheese

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 20:14:02 EST

Antione's Fissure prides itself on having the friendliest staff and best drag shows in all of Lahunga Beach, and I will cut you if you don't agree. It's rumored Diana Ross first assembled the Supremes in this very club (and that Mary Wilson was originally named Mark Wilson). "Best Gay Macaroni and Cheese" - Ebony Magazine ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Uncle Bakla, Tyler, JP & Steam Room Sally!

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 19:01:03 EST

Rick's Uncle Bakla loves his nephew dearly, but that wouldn't stop him from bedding any of his exes if he had the chance! Uncle Bakla can usually be found at his favorite bar, "White on Rice." Rick's ex-boyfriend Hunter only goes for Asian guys. In fact, he can barely even see white people. He owns "Sum Yung Guy's Chinese Bistro" and a chain of laundromats on the Far East Side. Tyler is Steve's work-out buddy and boys night out partner-in-crime. Tyler's lust knows no color, but it does know weight -- only in-shape guys allowed. JP is Steve's token straight friend, just as Steve is JP's token gay friend. Although JP is cool with the gays, he (incorrectly) feels that every gay guy at the gym wants to do him. When she first started performing in steam rooms back in '95, Steam Room Sally thought she'd soon be the next Bette Midler. No such luck. Instead, all she's gained over years in the sauna are clear pours and an almost lethal aversion to the smell of poppers....

Work Out and Work It

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 18:57:10 EST

Squat Gym is where in-shape West Lahungans go to see and be groped. Work out alongside celebrities Dylan Rambrick, Lance Bass, and several uncomfortable straight movie stars. Then, relax and release in the 200-person hot tub! ...

Steam Room Sally's Goddamn Song

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 18:52:08 EST

Break a sweat to Steam Room Sally's sultry tune! width="150" height="150">Steam Room Sally's Goddamn Song From Ep. 206 "House of Race Cards" Music: Jeff Marx Lyrics: Q. Allan Brocka & Jeff Marx [STEAMROOM SALLY] My breathing's still heavy My sheets are a mess We had five minutes of love.... Oh, then he got up and he got dressed And he said he had to go Goddamn! There goes another man Another one night stand Goddamn! It happened again Hey, fella - what's your name? I knew you'd be different From the moment we met Though we met just a moment ago I'm still in the middle of makin' love So please, please baby don't leave me yet! Aaaaaaaah Goddamn! There goes another man Another one night stand Goddamn! It happened again Oh, hey baby - what's your name? You're cute. Things have, things have, things have gotta change This heartache can't happen again I just can't go on like this La la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa Goddamn! Oh, oh! Goddamn! It happened again! Baby, Goddamn! There goes another man. Oooooh Goddamn! Don't leave me, baby Goddamn! I can't take it no more Don't walk out that door I wanna come too, baby aaaaaaah Goddamn, don't leave me baby Goddamn, oh hey, look at you, you're cute what you doin' later baby? ho ho ho la la la la la laaaaaaah Come on home with me baby I'm easy Yeah!...

Pets Allowed

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 18:47:27 EST

Although no one knows what goes into the food, Sum Yung Guy's Chinese Bistro has a rabid customer base, considering it is completely non-Chinese owned. Specialties include Dissident Dumplings, The Great Wall of Dim Sum, and their world famous Tianamen Spare Ribs. ...

Letters To Dixie: OMG LOL ROFTL

Tue, 6 Jan 2009 18:44:07 EST

Preview New Rick & Steve Episode: House of Race Cards

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 23:13:17 EST

Is Steve racist? Is Rick just too sensitive? And what's the deal with Rick's dirty gay Uncle Bakla? In this preview Steve joins Rick's family at a Filipino dinner that comes with Tinikling dancing! Yippee! Bamboo poles get slammed on the ground and the dancers prance in between and around them. Who knew Rick's mom had such hot moves? But will Rick's rice-queen ex Hunter ruin everything? Also in this episode: Steve goes to a black gay bar to prove he's not a bigot, American Idol veteran Kimberly Locke guest stars as Steamroom Sally and Noah's Arc's Darryl Stephens even lends his voice to the madness. Can't we all just get along? Check out the next episode of Rick & Steve, premiering Tuesday, Jan. 6th at 10PM/ET on Logo....

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: Pepper Grinder

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:52:33 EST

Christmas sucks! Or, more to the point, giving gifts to someone who doesn't give you gifts back sucks. Therein lies Steve's reluctance to fork over cash for presents for Dana and Kirsten. Rick's all like... "But they're family! They're raising our daughter!" but Steve is not convinced. After all, Dana never gives them gifts. And Kirsten just gives Rick a pepper grinder each year! No fair! Not surprisingly, Steve would rather spend his money on a slutty trip to Mykonos! What's a materialistic homo to do? Merry Christmas! Happy Chaka Khan!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Some San Franciscans!

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:48:29 EST

Mother Morally Superior is a rogue member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. When not berating homosexuals for being too stereotypical, Mother Morally Superior hosts charity bingo and works at Target. Flaxseed is a member of the Radical Fairies. While Flaxseed says he goes on excursions to the woods in order to bond with the fairies and nature and get in touch with his inner girly-boy, it's really just for the orgies. Why beautify a home when you can beautify the streets on which you live? That's how Soo, the toughest homeless homemaking bull dyke you'll ever meet, approaches the world. Although this Silicon Valley trust-fund baby inherited millions of dollars on her 18th birthday, she gave it all away in a drug-induced frenzy at Burning Man and has lived happily on the streets ever since. A gender queer who can barely tolerate the label "gender queer," V chooses not to work in order to make a point. "Work is the opiate of the masses," V, who admits to regularly smoking opium, espouses. The most hated mayor in America, Mayor Screwsum is the world's biggest proponent of the LGBTQQGIPNQGNASASUTSPBCACGSVLLTPAS- ECDHAUGVHISUDISSTHCSPDFSMTHCCC community. Rarely seen in San Francisco proper, Harry Tubman is a heterosexual protector of gays who have been kicked out of the Castro for being too stereotypical. A martyr till the end, Harry spends his time in the shadows, rescuing cliched queens and often having to "take one for the team" in order to save those who normally wouldn't give a breeder like him the time of day. Bruce Bandersnatch is the oldest homosexual in the world. Born in the late '20s (he'll say late '70s), Bruce has been kicked out of every pivotal gay rights movement or moment in history, including the Mattechine Society, the Stonewall Bar, the AIDS Quilt ceremony, and Madonna's Blonde Ambition tour backstage meet-and-greet. You ain't seen bitter until you've met Bruce....

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 205)

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:32:14 EST

It's Evan again! Oh my stars, what a gayventure we had in San Francisco this week! Here's the deets! Chuck took all of us to San Francisco for gay pride. I'd never been to the Motherland, so you can imagine my disappointment when I realized that Chuck was there to do a bunch of silly things he�d always wanted to do before he died! At first I was super mad, but I soon realized that checking things off his death list was more fun than hanging out in the Castro, where lots of crazy alterna-gays chased Rick, Steve, Dana and Kirsten out for being too stereotypical. Lucky for them they took refuge in the secret straight underbelly of San Francisco... ...where this straight guy Harry Tubman made the ultimate sacrifice to keep them safe (I can't go into what Harry's sacrifice was in a PG-13 rated blog, but let's just say that it rhymes with "laynal hex"). While Chuck and I checked items off the chuck-et list by defying gravity, the rest of the gang met the oldest gay in San Francisco... Bruce Bandersnatch. He makes Chuck look like a twink! (I thought he was kind of hot.) Anyway, he was all outcasty and insane and tried to blow up San Francisco, but Chuck and I saved the day. Smooches crotches, bitches!...

Something For Everyone

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:28:56 EST

If you can afford the real estate prices, and few homos can these days, The Castro has something for everyone - the gorgeous Castro theater, overpriced eateries, 5 million gay bars, and the sluttiest free-lovin' dope smokin' people in the land! ...

San Francisco (Pride Anthem)

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:18:23 EST

San Francisco...where being normal is weird! Sing with San Franciscans loud and proud! San Francisco (Pride Anthem) From Ep. 205 "Swallowing Pride" Music: Meiro Stamm Lyrics: Q. Allan Brocka San Francisco where the pride never ends You can play some disco and ride our rear ends Shave your hair Or grow it long Use your foreskin for a bong Boys in culottes Girls with beards In San Francisco no one's weird So take a risk, go make some new friends In San Francisco, the pride never ends ...

Tainted Love

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:15:34 EST

Tit for Tat is where the current taint tattooing frenzy began. The parlour is run by Vernice and Jade, two lesbians who have shaved more taints than Armisted Maupin (he's totally into that). ...

Out at the Ball Game

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:06:50 EST

Gay P&P Park, home of the San Francisco Fisters, is fun for the entire family! Enjoy the 9.5" wieners, chug the lukewarm beer, and maybe even watch some of the game! ...

One Life to Live, One Butt To Give

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:04:59 EST

Harry Tubman: ...

Size Matters

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:55:59 EST

The Transamerica Pyramid is the tallest building in San Francisco. Built in 1972 by an avowed size queen who was inspired to create the building after having a dream in which he was anally invaded by a skyscraper. ...

Please Say Yes!

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:52:57 EST

Built in 1937, the Golden Gate Bridge, one of the longest suspension bridges in the world, has been the site of many marriage proposals and suicides...sometimes one right after the other depending on the answer to the proposal. ...

Lumps of Love

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:39:13 EST

Kirsten serenades Dana at the Lesbohemian concert...a little heave in the cleave never hurt anyone, right? Sing it, Kirsten! "Triple D's" From Ep. 204 "Death of a Lesbian Bed" Music: Jeff Marx Lyrics: Q. Allan Brocka KIRSTEN Heyyyyyy, I want my lady large and lovely Miles of thighs spread above me Lay your lumps of love all over me You got More than what I want I want More than what I need Your curves Drive me 'round the block And I love Everything I see You got More than what I want I want More than what I need You're hot Buxom, megawatts, And I'll die In those triple D's Some like girls all small and spunky I need something in that trunky Fat chicks make a monkey out of me Oh, You got More than what I want I want More than what I need Your curves Drive me 'round the block And I love Everything I see Yeah, You got More than what I want I want More than what I need You're hot Buxom, megawatts, And I'll die In those triple D's In those triple D's I want to die..........in those triple D's. ...

Letters To Dixie: Too Bad Dana's Your Mom

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:34:05 EST

Don't We All

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:05:32 EST

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Encyclopedia West Lahungia: Baby Dyke

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:56:40 EST

BABY DYKE(Girlongirlicus Juvenilia) - A young lesbian. Known for their overbearing self-assuredness, baby dykes excel at making older lesbians feel inferior or old or both... especially if they're sleeping with them....

Preview New Rick & Steve Episode: Swallowing Pride

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:49:06 EST

In the fifth episode of the rollicking new Rick & Steve season, Chuck treats the whole gang to a trip to San Francisco for Gay Pride, but things don't exactly go as planned. Before you can say "Queer Diaspora," Rick and Steve and Kirsten and Dana all end up tussling with a band of uber-PC San Franciscans. Hell hath no fury like a Radical Faerie or a horny drag queen nun/activist spurned! It's attack of the gay cliches--but who's more pissed off? The radical SF progressives, or the twinks and dykes from West Lahunga? Harvey Milk never meant for it to be like this!!!! Check out the next episode of Rick & Steve, premiering Tuesday, Dec. 16th at 10PM/ET on Logo....

Welcome Wagon! Meet Jessica, Virgil, Michaela, Grigsby and The Lesbohemians!

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:25:05 EST

For her age, Jessica has it so together and is able to do so many things, that she immediately intimidates all the older (over 25) lesbians in West Lahunga. But she's super cute, so it's not like they actually stay away from her! Virgil is West Lahunga Beach Tours' lead tour guide, and he knows it. To keep this title, he spends nights online, committing obscure WeHung trivia to memory. Has been twice rejected by the Hall of Men-Zuh. Dana's ex-girlfriend Michaela still loves her and she WILL win her back. Enough said. Grigsby lives in Underground West Lahunga and has only been seen by a handful of people, none of whom lived to tell the tail. Grigsby is the keeper of The Secret (not the book and dvd phenomenon) and he keeps it secret, lest he upset his boss and master, Lance Bass. The love children of Seven Year Bitch and most of Lilith Fair, The Lesbohemians broke onto the scene in 2006. They are best known for their hit, "I'm a Lesbian" as well as for their dour, angry concerts....

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: Dixie's First 100 Days

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:09:16 EST

Oh my Goddess! Dixie is turning 100 (days old)!!! So Kirsten is hell-bent on throwing a big party. After all, it's what's Dr. Phil would do. Dana, however is skeptical... But how can even a bitter butch like Dana resist an affair that will feature such fun games as "Pin the Anti-Gun Bill on the NRA Member" and "Who Made a Stinky?" And one Kirsten gets the notion of a circus-themed bash (shades of Britney!) in her head, not even trained elephants can change her mind. It all ends up like "What Makes a Family" with Brooke Shields and Cherry Jones! Except nobody dies. Yet....

West Lahunga's Secret Underbelly

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:58:50 EST

On the Underground West Lahunga Beach tour, you'll hear stories of the earliest gay pioneers, who opened some of the country's first organic food stores and gay saloons. But be warned -- if you get lost in Bath House and Beyond, you might get trapped in this underground hole forever! ...

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 204)

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:55:15 EST

Boo! It's moi again, and things were creeeeepy this week as me, Chuck, Condie, Rick and Steve took a tour to Underground West Lahunga and got more than we bargained for when we snuck away from the tour to check out the old abandoned Bath House and Beyond! While all this was going on, the lesbians were of course having dyke drama. Kirsten & Dana went to a lesbian bed death funeral and then realized their own bed was croaking! Even worse, Dana's ex Michaela was all horned up for Dana (ew!), and this hottie hip young lesbian Jessica started getting all up in Kirsten's panties (more ew!). But back to moi. Chuck and I thought we had a 3-way with a ghost! But it was just Condie (MASSIVE EW). And Rick and Steve met Lance Bass who told them a spooky secret that they have to keep forevermore. Or until I get Steve really drunk some night! Smooches crotches, bitches!...

Letters To Dixie: OMG, Am I Fat?

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:25:51 EST

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: Selling!

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:56:15 EST

Mama Martinez is at her wit's end now that her son has become entrenched in the blood-hungry universe of gay blogging. For years she's helped take care of Senor Chuck and accommodated her little twink's many, many addictions -- and now her very own son won't make time to go eat chimichangas with Mom? What is the world coming to? But now that Evan's graduated to "online slave trading," it's time to draw the line: selling his mother on the Internet for fake money? What a disgrace! Tell that buyer Mama Martinez is not for sale (...um, unless he's rich)....

Preview New Rick & Steve Episode: Death of a Lesbian Bed

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:55:29 EST

A bathhouse really is like a box of chocolates, right? Especially the crumbling, long-forgotten, underground ones... who knows what terrifying stickiness could be lurking in those corners? Yes, in our next episode Rick, Steve, Chuck, Evan and Condie must work together to escape the dark depths of the cruising ruins of West Lahunga. Scary! Meanwhile, aboveground, Dana's baby weight has our favorite butch doubting Kirsten's attraction to her. Will Kirsten spice things back up with her partner? Or is motherhood really taking away the spark? Oh, the plagues of insecurities!...

Plan Your Next Va-Gay-Tion

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:46:46 EST

Founded by Pat Slobertson, Guanta-No-Homo Bay Camp has successfully treated no individuals to date, although they've had fun trying. ...

We Weren't Born Yestergay

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:37:08 EST

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Welcome Wagon! Meet Minda, Wiener, Fannie Mae & Pat Slobertson

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:35:52 EST

Rick's mom Minda is not only psychically linked to her son, but also to the food she prepares. When not cooking, she is either telling Rick's father what to do or practicing her surprisingly impressive martial arts moves. Wiener is Joanna's dog and Pussy's worst nightmare. Wiener loves to eat cat food, defecate in the bowl...And then eat it all over again. Fannie Mae is a mistress of the pick-up. Unfortunately, she's so self-assured that while she can effortlessly pick up any man, she never wants to actually date one of them. Pat Slobertson is the head cheese of Regular Lahunga Beach's Christian Church and the leader of Guanta-No-Homo Bay Camp. When not giving rousing sermons on de-gay-portation, Slobertson can usually be found in the Regular Lahunga airport restroom, waiting to save some souls....

Angelina Approved!

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:23:20 EST

Mother-In-Spa is a full amenity spa, featuring Mother and Baby seaweed wraps, shiatsu massage, hot stone treatment, and spinal adjustments. Steam room and baby jacuzzi included. "Maddox and I left Mother-In-Spa completely rejuvenated and ready to travel the world!" -- Angelina J. ...

Intelligent Design? Like on Project Runway?

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:08:03 EST

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Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 203)

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:06:19 EST

Evan here again, and things were scandalous in West Lahunga this week! Rick's mom Minda visited for Mother's Day, but what no one was expecting was Joanna, Steve's racist mom, showing up to move in with Rick and Steve! And when Joanna mistook Minda for the maid, we knew it was gonna be a brutal Mother's Day. Meanwhile, as Kirsten was still trying to bond with Dixie, who seems to hate her (I'd pick Dana as the one to hate), Chuck did the unthinkable and slept with... (I can still barely say it) ...a woman! Which made me gag at first, but then it made me want to get revenge and sleep with one, too, so I went to Guanta-No-Homo Bay Camp and tried to become a temporary ex-gay. I'd go into what that experience was like, but I've blanked it out. The big thing you'll wanna watch was Joanna and Minda's fight. You ain't seen anything like it. Think bigger and bloodier than any fight you've seen on The CW or Naomi Campbell's rap sheet. It was that big. Luckily they didn�t kill each other cuz maybe we�ll get to see Round 2 someday! Smooches crotches, bitches!!...

Encyclopedia West Lahungia: Drag Queen

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 21:03:11 EST

DRAG QUEEN (Tuckia Itin) - A man who dresses as a woman and spews catty quips. Many drag queens choose to lip sync to diva pop songs or power ballads, but some with actual talent sing live. Responsible for Stonewall and Madonna's continued relevance....

Pills, Love and Booze...Is That Too Much To Ask For?

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 20:39:11 EST

What's a Wicked-related episode without music? Sing along with Condie, Chuck and Evan as they whine like a bunch of babies! "Society Owes Me" From Ep. 202 "Wickeder" Music: Jeff Marx Lyrics: Q. Allan Brocka CONDIE It's not my fault when I was born I was addicted to gay porn And kinda sorta lazy I've watched my facial features sag And I got labeled a crow hag It made my brain -- go crazy I blame the government and my mother I blame God and every other Institution for these ills So when they're handing out the hand-outs I'll be holding out my hand out 'Cause society owes me pills Society owes me pills CHUCK It's not my fault I'm paralyzed I feel my penis but no thighs I've been cursed from hell above [whistle] So when they're handing out the hand-outs I'll be holding out my hand out 'Cause society owes me love Society owes me love EVAN It's not my fault that I'm so young Horny, hung, and did I mention young? These are things I didn't choose [whistle] So when they're handing out the hand-outs I'll be holding out my hand out 'Cause society owes me booze Society owes me booze ...

It's Hot As Blogs In Here

Wed, 3 Dec 2008 20:32:34 EST

This annual geek-fest goes more viral every year. Popular events include sneak previews of next year's hottest gossip, the So You Think You Can Perez Bitch-Off, and seminars in never leaving your home in order to blog more. ...

Letters To Dixie: Men SUCK!

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:54:01 EST

Like Canadians, But More Interesting

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:55:20 EST

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Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: Super Powers!

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:46:38 EST

Steve-ie senses tingling! For our latest round of happy gay pillow talk, Rick & Steve do that passive-aggressive dance they love so well -- but this time it also involves super powers. Who doesn't spend time thinking about super powers? Watch and discover which powers the boys would choose to have, were the world theirs. Here's a hint: Rick's super ego would be named Intelligentsia -- while Steve maintains "hot" trumps "smart" every time....

Who Doesn't Love Porn Porn Porn Porn?

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:33:37 EST

The latest polls are in, happy gay watchers! We hope you've recovered from the gay overload that was ComBloMeCon, 'cause we're about to revisit each and every gay blog destination. The real life gay blogger royalty was there, yes, but we wanted to know your favorite fake blog out of all of those convention booths and signs. Ah, the imagination runs wild thinking what kind of content you'd find at some of those dot-coms... What was your pick? "Porn Porn Porn Porn," "Drooly Kos," "Beneath Elton," "My Life in Pies," or "Your Mama's A Blog?" Well, there was a clear winner in Porn Porn Porn Porn. Jeez! Now we know where your minds are, you dirty viewers! (We shouldn't be surprised; you are fans of Rick & Steve, after all.) But tell us more! In light of this week's episode's retelling of The Wizard of Oz, we want to know what other gay re-telling you'd be curious to see. Check the choices to the left and cast your vote! (No comment on what Aladdin's "magic glow stick" would do...)...

Episode 3 Sneak Preview! It's Mom Vs. Mom, Pussy Vs. Wiener

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:13:07 EST

Mom-fight!!! Well not yet, but when Steve's mom Joanna barges in to Rick and Steve's happy little homo home to announce she's moving in, it ain't pretty. Watch the above preview...Mom-wigs are gonna get yanked! First, Joanna brings her dog, Wiener. Ahem! And Pussy -- Rick and Steve's kitty -- doesn't like that one bit. (Face it. It's very Pussy vs. Wiener in West Lahunga.) Then Joanna mistakes Rick's mom for the maid! Wrong-ness all around. Tune in for this full-on new episode of maternal combat when it airs Tuesday, Dec. 2nd at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Logo. Heck, watch it with your own mom!...

Encyclopedia West Lahungia: Fag Hag

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:41:39 EST

FAG HAG (Needstu Getalyfica) - A woman who spends so much time with her homosexual friend(s) that it creates a (occasionally damaging) symbiotic relationship of mutual using. The fag hag will party with gay men, worship/be worshipped by gay men, and be abandoned at gay bars by gay men. Famous Fag Hags: Kathy Griffin, Liza Minelli, Margaret Cho....

Welcome Wagon! Meet Falaysha

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:38:26 EST

Falaysha is the fiercest of drag queens. Although famous throughout West Lahunga Beach, her favorite place to perform is Antione's Fissure in South Lahunga Beach, where she gets paid in drinks and southern food. Though single, Falaysha was once rumored to be dating Eddie Murphy....

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 202)

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:36:21 EST

Hey, everyone! Evan here again, and lemme tell you, last night's episode was a trip because I love fairy tales. First off, Kirsten, Dana, Rick, Steve and their new baby Dixie got whisked up in a tornado! Yeah, already crazy, huh! Steve and Dana decided to go to Emerald Joe's to get some gas, while Rick and Kirsten, who was freaking out that Dixie wasn't bonding with her, read Dixie a wacked out version of The Wizard of Oz, and that's when things got cruise-azy. On the way to Emerald Joe's, Dana & Steve ran into me and Condie and Chuck, and we all needed stuff at Emerald Joe's, too. But this witched-out drag queen Falaysha kept trying to get Dana's bra. Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either, but I can blame the years of drugs; what's your excuse? Anyway, we all sort of got what we wanted at Emerald Joe's, and by the time Steve and Dana got back to Kirsten and Rick, Dixie was even bonding with Kirsten. Violently, but hey, some people like that. Dana and Steve started to bond, too, but it all went to crap; after all, this wasn't that much of a fairy tale! Smooches crotches, bitches!...

We're Not In West Lahunga, Anymore...

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:31:01 EST

Whether you get gas from a nozzle or from the frozen burrito department, if you crave high fructose corn syrup or pump-style lubricant, or when you just need to buy a lottery ticket, Emerald Joe's strives to satisfy your every desire -- and that's not even counting stall #3 in the men's restroom. ...

Letters To Dixie: Eat Vegetarian!

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:22:31 EST

Encyclopedia West Lahungia: Twink

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:20:27 EST

TWINK (Skinnyan Smoothchestikus) - Any gay man three months younger than the person who is using the term. Or anyone under 25. Usually not as smart as he thinks he is, the twink spends most of his time listening to vacuous pop music and doing his hair....

Rick & Steve Recaps with Evan! (Episode 201)

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:14:18 EST

Hey, bitches, it's Evan! The old people at LOGO have begged me to recap this season's episodes of Rick & Steve. They give me fame and I give them my brilliant ideas - how cool is that?? I guess they wanted a younger, fresher voiced, better looking blogger than most networks have. And thinner. And did I mention younger? So last night Dana was in labor. For 17 days. And you thought she was angry before! We found out she gets it from her parents Marlene and Saul, who showed up at the hospital and insulted each other in Jewishey ways. Meanwhile, I started video blogging Dana's labor, and I became an internet superstar! I even got invited to ComBlowMeCon 2.0 where I met Perez Hilton, Trent Venegas, and Arianna Huffington Post! It was incredible, and I was a superstar. But as always, Chuck knew how to drag me back down to planet Evan. As if all that wasn't enough, Rick discovered Steve was a bigger ho in the past than he'd thought (personally, I don't see the problem), but just as they were making up, Kirsten called and said Dana was about to pop the baby out. And surprise! It was a lady baby! So instead of Dick they named her Dicksy... spellcheck says Dixie. Whatever. So let me be the first to welcome little Dixie to our West Lahunga Beach family. I can't wait until we can go clubbing together! Maybe next weekend? ...

The Place for Pirate Booty

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:08:14 EST

The aquarium's most popular feature, the Mer-Man show, originally featured a mermaid, but when a food poisoning incident at a local seafood restaurant nearly killed the mermaid actress, a man took her place. He and his co-star immediately fell in love and have been diving into each other's sunken treasure ever since! ...

Scary Lesbian Baby, Indeed!

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:58:47 EST

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Welcome Wagon! Meet Dana's Parents and Franz Nerdlinger

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:37:17 EST

Dana's mother Marlene loves her daughter with all her heart, even if she thinks Dana could lose a few pounds. She has these words for her ex-husband Saul: "There's Adolf Hitler, and then there's Saul." Dana's father Saul is as proud of his lesbochick as he is angry at his ex-wife, Marlene, whom he loathingly refers to as "that dragonwoman." When not lavishing his grandchild with gifts, Saul enjoys griping about politics and watching Seinfeld. Franz Nerdlinger is president and resident of the Hall of Men-Zuh, a gay brainiac paradise. Although Franz can repudiate Einstein�s theory of relativity in under 20 minutes, he has yet to get laid....

Episode 2 Sneak Preview! We're Not in Rick's Ass Anymore...

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 10:37:04 EST

We hope all you homos enjoyed our totally breeder-friendly premiere episode last night as much as we did. Ahh, it just feels so right to be back in the foul-mouthed West Lahunga groove, doesn't it? And since we�re all about gratification, we've got a segment from next week's episode for ya (which airs Tuesday, Nov. 18 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Logo). Check it out: After Dana's Scary Lesbian birth, the whole crew - with baby Dixie, too! - embarks on the consistently-pleasant drive home. Well, until Mother Nature intervenes and Kirsten begins to notice her biracial baby isn't looking so biracial... oops? Then get ready for an uber-gay retelling of The Wizard of Oz... even gay-er than Wicked... seriously!...

Rick & Steve Season 2, Episode 1 Sneak Peek: Evan Vs. Perez Hilton!

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:18:04 EST

Rick & Steve's season 2 premiere is hurtling your way on Tuesday, November 11th. And here's another sneak peek clip! And this one features guest stars! When Evan (who's suddenly an internet megastar thanks to his video of Dana giving birth; "Scary Lesbian Baby" got a billion hits!) visits a blogger's convention, he's gotta face off with intimidating Internet vipers Perez Hilton, Arianna Huffington and Trent Venegas (of "Pink Is the New Blog"). And damn! They're bitchy!!! But are they right? Is Evan going to be just a viral video flash in the pan? Paging Chris Crocker... Check it out! And yes, those are really Perez and Trent's voices you're hearing! Plus, watch out for some other dishy blog-star shout-outs, too! Ah, celebrity......

Lahunga 911!

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:03:14 EST

Ursula Rodriguez Memorial Hospital is world renowned for its vaginal renewal procedures, pec enhancment surgeries, and commissary-bar, where you can get a blissfully delicious Xanaxtini or any number of flavored Meds Margaritas. ...

Encyclopedia West Lahungia: Bull Dyke

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:04:08 EST

BULL DYKE (Masculinia Womynus) - A butch, fashion-challenged lesbian. The bull dyke smiles very little because the man-centric world SUCKS. Often associated with motorcycles, flannel, and PETA....

Rick & Steve Urge You to Vote NO on Prop 8!

Mon, 3 Nov 2008 11:38:20 EST

Hey there! It's us, Rick and Steve. You might know us from our television show on Logo. We are writing to you today as a gay couple to urge you to vote against Proposition 8. Prop 8 sucks! It basically says that the state of California will no longer allow gay and lesbian couples to get married. More than 11,000 same sex couples have gotten married already and it's not like straight marriage has crumbled. It has put millions of dollar into California's economy, too. We have the same problems as straight couples. Steve leaves the toilet seat up. Rick wastes our hard drive space downloading Lost podcasts. Now, after years of struggle, we finally have the same rights and responsibilities as straight couples. Please don't let them take that away from us. If you live in California, please vote No on Prop 8. If you don't live in California, get on the phone and tell everyone you know in California to vote No on Prop 8. And if you get basic cable, please watch our show when it premieres on November 11. No on 8!! xoxo, Rick & Steve The Happiest Gay Couple In The World Who One Day Wants To Legally Marry So Don't Take That Right Away!...

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: Grudge Munch!

Mon, 3 Nov 2008 10:38:59 EST

Love is funny. Sometimes it's all flowers and cuddles, and then sometimes it's about slamming your beloved up against the headboard--in the right way. Kirsten and Dana, sweet devoted lovebirds that they are, understand. In fact, just in time for Election Day, they break down a to-do list of who's ripe for a bit of rough-and-tumble grudge-sex. Sarah Palin, you might wanna open your six-pack! Cindy McCain, prepare to ride it "maverick"-style. And Elizabeth Hasselbeck--lady, there's a pair of lesbians in West Lahunga more than ready to broaden your "View." And before you light that post-coital cigarette, remember: The all-new second season of Rick & Steve is coming at you on Tuesday, November 11th. Consider this all just foreplay. Happy Voting!...

Create Your Own Comic is Back! Now using your own photos, virtuosos!

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:19:04 EDT

With Rick & Steve's second, and possibly even more offensive, season gearing up, we're once again calling on you funny gays to get creative. We've been all for you putting things in our West Lahunga characters' mouths, and now you can put in even more � thanks to our Create Your Own Comic application's spiffy upgrade: In addition to penning your own ultra-gay, ultra-raunchy storylines for the Rick & Steve crew to act out, you can now upload your own photos as comic backgrounds. Always wanted to see what Rick would look like in your basement? Well, now you can, pervs! You can even enter your strip at Downelink.com for a chance to win a trip to real-life West Lahunga, West Hollywood! A few rules of decency do apply, however: a bit of a contradiction, we know -- Rick & Steve without obscenities? WTF?! -- but rules is rules. We don't want to see any nastiness or nakedness in your photo uploads; nothing illegal; nothing stolen. Got it, sickos? Don't upload a picture you don't own. Same goes for any personal info or phone numbers, commercial product shots and illegal activity or derogatory accusations. Whew... Well then, what's left? We know, we know... but you can still be funny. We have faith in you....

Rick & Steve Season 2, Episode 1 Sneak Peek: Evan's Blog

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 18:45:57 EDT

Holy crap! The premiere of season two of Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World is looming (coming on Tuesday, Nov. 11th), which means we're just days away from finding out what dyke-y Dana gave birth to. Will she and Kirsten be happy mombians? And will Rick and Steve find out who sired the little tadpole? Meanwhile, Evan's been posting private videos ("Horny Troll in a Wheelchair!") on his new blog and Chuck has a cactus in his crotch about it! Ouch! Yup, this preview clip below shows us that West Lahunga's resident dirty daddy and his slutty boy-toy are still at it. Who knew getting into a sling could be so hazardous? Stay tuned for more previews. Can Evan and Chuck survive each other? Will Dana's baby be a boy? A girl? Both? Neither? Auuughh, the suspense......

Rick & Steve Season 2 Digisode: Sexy Halloween!

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:54:06 EDT

Ah, Halloween... That time of year when gays use any excuse possible to don bodypaint and dash out of the house nearly naked, or in heels�or both�and behave badly. Rick and Steve, standard-bearers of gaydom that they are, are no exception. But how come Steve always gets to dress in the trashy Halloween costume? Like, if they're going in tandem as Jesus and the Devil, who gets to wear the horns and spiked tail and slut it up, and who's gonna be holier-than-thou? Watch Rick and Steve battle for Halloween slut-premacy! The notion of falling to your knees for Christ may never be the same. And don't forget. The all-new second season of Rick & Steve is coming at you on Tuesday, November 11th. Boo!...

Everybody Come Together! "Who Doesn't Love Sperm?"

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 08:29:36 EDT

When we last left preg-o Dana and her plastic crew in the delivery room, our pissed-off mom-to-be was about to pop. Damn that sperm for doing this to her! But we must never forget sperm -- whoever's it may be in this instance -- provides at least one good thing from this painful experience: another classic Rick & Steve musical number! Yes, get ready to sing along as the whole, gay West Lahunga bunch breaks into song over the wonders of those little swimmers. Not only is sperm a part of every living creature -- as Evan so brilliantly puts it, "We're 80 percent water -- but 50 percent sperm!" -- the congeal-y goodness has a million-and-one household uses -- as the townsfolk demonstrate. Sing along and enjoy! "Who Doesn't Love Sperm?" From Ep. 201 "Labor Day" Music: Meiro StammLyrics: Q. Allan Brocka DANA How the [BLEEP] did this happen?! RICK Well. It happened because of sperm. KIRSTEN Sperm. DANA I hate that term. STEVE What?! (sings) Sperm, sperm is a glorious term, term Our life is confirmed By those cute little worms Who doesn't love sperm? DANA Me! STEVE Who doesn't love sperm? RICK You came to me and Steve One glorious eve I shot in a shot glass To help her conceive. STEVE (whispering) We both went in that glass. RICK Be quiet, you ass. STEVE Oh, make fun of me? You worship like Lance Bass. KIRSTEN Our plan was well-hatched But when getting a batch We hit a rough patch... STEVE And some spilled in your-- RICK Sperm, sperm is a glorious term, term! CHUCK If it wasn't for sperm We'd do it like germs, germs. KIRSTEN Germs don't have sex. CHUCK Exactly. (sings) Who doesn't love sperm? ALL BUT DANA Who doesn't love sperm? DANA I hate where it comes from I hate how it feels I hate how it looks And how it congeals KIRSTEN But it goes with our eggs It makes us all one So open your legs And push out our son! ALL BUT DANA Sperm, sperm is a glorious term, term EVAN You're 80 percent water But 50 percent sperm! ALL BUT DANA Who doesn't love sperm?! DANA Me! ALL BUT DANA Who doesn't love sperm? TOWNSFOLK JOIN IN Sperm! Sperm! Is a glorious term, term! Everybody's made of sperm! Doctors and lawyers and priests on their knees. FATHER FIGURE I'm made of sperm! TOWNSFOLK Kittens and horsies and birdies in trees! BIRDIES IN A NEST Sperm! Sperm! Sperm! TOWNSFOLK It's not just for conceptions It's great at receptions Re-assembling vases Moisturize faces Caulking your tiles Whitening smiles Perfume a diner Build toys in China With billions of uses It always amuses Who doesn't love sperm?! DANA Me! TOWNSFOLK Who doesn't love sperm?! Who doesn't love... STEVE ...Sperm!! ...

Rick & Steve Season 2: Still The Happiest Gay Couple in All The World!

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:33:32 EDT

We're hoping you've recovered from your aggressive-pussy and angry-pregnancy hangover from the first season of The Happiest Gay Couple in All The World, because we have some earth-shattering news for you. Wake up and enjoy this cute little exchange between Peter Paige and Wilson Cruz - as in the voices of Steve and ... not Rick - as they make the happy announcement. And as they said, Rick & Steve are back on LOGO for another season. That means you'll be going back to the gayfest of West Lahunga and reconnecting with all your old, offensive plastic, gay buddies. But where did we leave off? It's been quite a whirlwind, hasn't it? With an eager Evan in tow, Dana was wheel-barrowed to Dr. Hunk's office... ready to birth her baby. And how could we forget the camera shot from within Dana's vagina? And was it Rick's sperm or Steve's sperm that made it to Dana's surprisingly-receptive egg? Will the little bundle be a boy or a girl? ...Rosas? You'll have to wait until the November 11th season premiere to find out. And don't worry, all the online goodies will still be around as the new episodes air....

Rick & Steve Video Roundup

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 20:56:06 EDT

Rick and Steve and the rest of West Lahunga Beach may be on holiday for now, but you can always order up the Season One DVD. Or... Get your fix of killer video hotness from the series! Sneak a peek at these show clips, which will get you primed for each episode, including the big opening dinner scene from the very first episode! Ah, memories... In these extra-special "Digisodes," West Lahunga Beach's happy couples discuss the stuff we hold near and dear: Threesomes, lesbian stereotypes, pop stardom — and buckets more! Behind the Scenes (as in "The Real West Lahunga Beach"): Watch all of the interviews with the show's creators to see what really happens behind the scenes. And get dish directly from the stars who lend their voices to Rick & Steve: Alan Cumming, Wilson Cruz, Peter Page, Lorna Luft and more!...

A West Lahunga Rhapsody in Six Movements

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 20:42:42 EDT

The entire season of Rick & Steve cruised by! But here's a rundown of the good stuff. Get schooled! (You can always download all six episodes, too!) Episode 1: "Guess Who's Coming for Quiche?" Watch the Premiere Episode Preview! Sing along to "A Song for Three" Catch some great lines about making babies, bad sex and speedy diet pills Meet porn star Dylan Ram-Brick and androgynous "boy" QTSTR8A&FJOCK! Episode 2: "Bush Baby" Episode Preview! Hear a snippet of Dana's favorite driving song, "I'm a Lesbian" Watch for some priceless quotes about parenting, saving for your kids, quick goodbyes, sperm and "Skanky Housewives" And meet aggressively single therapist Dr. Proctor, Ebony, Ivory and little Echinacea. Episode 3: "Damn Straights" Episode Preview! Led by Judith Light and Ben Affleck, all of West Lahunga Beach all-stars come out for a rendition of "Evan's Song" Get some insane quotations on having babies, drug greediness, "queer eyes" and the "heterosexual time zone" And you'll meet Steve's mom, Joanna (voiced by Lorna Luft!), and stepdad, Carlton, child TV star Dakota Montana and his Skanky Housewives co-star Calamity Penn-Phillippe-Pitt-Stapleton, newsman Anderson Pooper, Evan's mom Charo Martinez, and Bodiless Mute Blind Latina Lesbian in a Wheelchair! Episode 4: "It's Raining Pussy" Episode Preview! Groove to the swinging number "It's Raining Pussy Cats!" Listen for killer lines about Condi's near-death experience", great gay bar names, having straight kids and killer kitties, and choosing life. Plus, meet West Lahungans Michaela (Dana's ex), dead fag hag Ursula Rodriguez, living fag hag Condoleeza Ling and crunchy yoga teacher Christophe. Downward dog, anyone? Bonus: Watch for Kathy Griffin�s red carpet appearance! Episode 5: "Save Our Seamen" Episode Preview! Watch for awesome quotes on Dana's ass, heavy baggage, love among boyfriends, rice queens, and death and voting. Sing along with drag queen Falaysha's high-seas anthem, "The Seaman Dance." Episode 6: "Hormonally Yours" Episode Preview! Skewer gay cultuire with "As Long as You're Hot" Brace yourself for stellar quips on tights abs, roid-raging lovers, and Jewish bull-dykes. And meet gay racist wingnut Hampton Hampton. Can't we all just get along? See you next season!...

Did Someone Say 'Strip'?

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 18:28:17 EDT

Hey — we don't expect you to live without your West Lahunga faves just because Rick & Steve are done on the small-screen. With the Create-a-Comic feature on Happiestgaycouple.com, you can bring the whole gay gang back to your computer. You can even make them spout whatever offensive jokes you want! It's actually really easy to create your own strip. If you're not already a member, join the Rick & Steve community and share your creations with others! Add them to your profile with a single click. Post them on your own blog. R&S creator Q. Allan Brocka has even made a few, himself! For example ... Check out his other famous-movies-turned-R&S-scenes, including tributes to: The Wizard of Oz The Breakfast Club Moulin Rouge My personal favorite is Pussy as Hannibal Lector (That's some scary stuff!) When you're a member of the Rick & Steve community, you can connect with other Rick & Steve fans, queue up your own Rick & Steve feed and broadcast your fave Rick & Steve content. Build out your profile Meet like-minded fans Upload videos and photos Post comments Vote for your favorite content Subscribe to fan feeds Go on and do it!...

West Lahunga Beach, Blog Style

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 19:11:32 EDT

Those lovable West Lahungans were busting out of their measly half-hour slots all season — thank god for the blog! You know you want all the dirty deets on America's gayest little town that were just too hot for TV, so take a look! West Lahunga Welcome Wagon! Ah, remember the day when our eyes first met? Happiest Gay Planner: Experience a real day-in-the-life. Dana's Dumping Ground: We all know Dana's got a long sh*t list. Better she channel her rage into blogging than grouting the tub ... yet again. Hot Pussy of the Day: Everyone's petrified of Pussy, so When Pussy hijacked the computer to post her picks for the hottest kitties and kittie-wannabes, we didn't ask questions. And neither should you. Craemmle�s Theater: Check out the classics that graced the screen. GayMate Guide: Your personal West Lahunga tour guide! Chuck & Evan Hit Up the Click List: A fresh (and stale) spin on the hottest vids in the gay music world. Lyrics: And those musical numbers? Each resident of West Lahunga should win little plastic Tony Awards. Quote of the Day: The best one-liners have been immortalized! Polls: Happiestgaycouple.com cares what you have to say — and you weren't shy about it, either! Check out all the results!...

Downloads: It's Rick & Steve to go!

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 18:58:11 EDT

Sure you can buy the Rick & Steve DVD, which is crammed full of all of Season One, and truckloads of behind-the-scenes footage and cast interviews... But sometimes you wanna be able to take the action with you, right?Then "Holy Dylan Ram-Brick!" you'll say, as you head to the collection of downloads from Rick & Steve. Download exclusive digisodes featuring hilarious bits you never saw on TV, plus you can get kickin' wallpapers, buddy icons ... the works! Get some from iTunes or Amazon, and don't forget the gems right here on our site. Snatch up whatever you want!Your iPod will thank you....

Sick of Men

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:00:44 EDT

Why am I sick of gay men? Look at this picture. Enough said. Straight men will forever hold a spot on this list. Straight Man Invention No. 233: Superfans. Often accompanied by Straight Man Inventions No. 1 (violence) and No. 47 (alcoholism)....

The Village People Called. They Want Their Bandmate Back.

Fri, 7 Sep 2007 19:35:21 EDT

I've had it with construction work. This damn city is always under construction. The city is DONE! We don't need more monuments, offramps, schools, or shopping malls. Even if we did, how the hell would be know with all this construction closing everything off....

Calling All Rice Queens

Thu, 6 Sep 2007 19:44:25 EDT

Despite its D-List (at best) celebrity-hotspot status, Yellow Fever is definitely a staple in the West Lahunga cruising scene. Hunter�s patronage in itself is enough to keep the doors open, but everyone with a case of �the feva� just keeps on comin' back....

One Secret I Won't Keep

Wed, 5 Sep 2007 16:25:41 EDT

If you don't have something, it's because you just don't want it bad enough. Hear that cancer researchers? It's your own fault there's no cure yet. The Secret blows....

Feel the Burn

Wed, 5 Sep 2007 16:24:07 EDT

Squat members know to invest in some hot gym attire — it's the best cruising spot in town! (Just what "intense yoga" involves, we'll leave to your imagination.) And replacing post-workout food with alcohol? Genius marketing move....

Don't Get Older

Wed, 5 Sep 2007 12:09:52 EDT

Chuck and Evan bring us their favorites from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "This Train Don't Stop There Anymore" by Elton John "I also look like Justin Timberlake when I remember my younger years. I just hope I don't look like Elton John when I get older." � The Kept Boy's Pick: "Golden Skans" by Klaxons "What the hell is a Skan? What the hell is a Klaxon? And what's with the weird message at the beginning of this video? When you have cute nekkid muddy glam boys all wrapped up in bows, kneeling before you, who cares?"...

Don't Trust the Popcorn

Wed, 5 Sep 2007 12:08:57 EDT

PIRATES OF THE LESBIANHOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 GAYSHAIRY SQUATTER AND THE CHEEKY INNUENDOEATING OUT VI: REGURGITATED...

United We Fall

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 18:38:12 EDT

Family reunions disgust me. I have been invited to five goddamned family reunions this summer. FIVE. If you're not united in the first place, how can you call yourself a family? They wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the food. Or the families. I wouldn't mind people who wore friendship bracelets if the bracelets were made a metal, connected with a chain, and locked to a radiator....

It's All About the Butt

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 18:34:58 EDT

Chuck and Evan bring us their favorites from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood "This is the best music video of all time. It's not just because I actually appear in this video (I'm in the smaller of the two cages), it's because the song is the story of my life." � The Kept Boy's Pick: "Within Me" by Guy B. "When are those mean old dinosaurs at MTV gonna lighten up and let us see butts in music videos? How are we supposed to know the true meaning of this song without a single shot of his naked, smooth, and muscular bubble butt?"...

Invasion Politics

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 18:33:24 EDT

Immigration is the new gay marriage and I'm sick of hearing about it. Want to solve immigration? Give California back to the Mexicans and the rest to back to the Indians, then get the hell out. What? Then you'd be an immigrant? Well then, how would you want to be treated, hemorrhoid? I'm sick of hearing about exit strategies. Strategy didn't stop us from going in. Get out of Iraq. Get out of religion. Get out of my uterus. And start working for the people....

Happiest Gay Poll Recap: Who Wants to be on TV?

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 16:08:04 EDT

All of those Rick & Steve crazies are really too much for one little show, and as much as we appreciate the Happiest Gay Couple, we had to ask you which of the show's many supporting cast members you think deserves their own spin-off show...Not surprisingly, the majority of you (31 percent) want to see more of The Bodiless Mute Blind Latina Lesbian in a Wheelchair. Let's face it: She got the airtime shaft, and she's gotta have a fantastic story to tell! (If only she could tell it.)And if anyone can bring the variety show back ... it's a bodiless, mute, blind, Latina lesbian in a wheelchair. That just screams comedy! (If by "scream" you mean the emphatic yet muffled grunts of a person with no lungs or vocal cords.) ...

No Late Fees!

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 15:55:09 EDT

In West Lahunga, porn is pretty much a necessity, and with such demand, the Ballbuster gets away with their surly, incompetent staff. Like lines at the DMV or flight delays, we accept because we just have no alternative. At least Judith Light is usually there to empower the closeted pervs among us....

Good for a Cheap Date

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 15:11:54 EDT

At Dykafe, it's pretty much go big or go home. Ellen comes here to party, so you better keep up. But no wheelchair access? Yet again, Bodiless Mute Blind Latina Lesbian in a Wheelchair cannot catch a break!...

Hold on to Your Mojo

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 11:08:16 EDT

Mr. Bigglesworth, the most famous villain cat in the world, is so fug-sexy even Austin Powers is jealous. Every fold in that soft skin envelopes a crevice of musky mystery. It all adds up to one groove-y shag. xo, Puss...

Can YOU Do the Fandango?

Tue, 4 Sep 2007 10:48:22 EDT

Chuck and Evan bring us their favorites from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen"Queen invented everything in 1975. Everything. And they've been copied ever since, from Saturday Night Fever to The Blair Witch Project to Dana's hairdo, people have ripped off this video and never given Queen an ounce of credit." � The Kept Boy's Pick: "Umbrella" by Rihanna"Rihanna looks so hawt! And I love when pop songs aren't bogged down with double meanings. BTW, I had 10 times that much squirted at me this morning, but I always wear a raincoat. Coat. Coat. Oat. Oat."...

And That's a Wrap

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:23:48 EDT

Even though the fetus was just "two kicks away from Planned Parenthood," Dana's finally having her baby! Luckily, she was back to her J.A.B.-self (that's "Jewish American Bull-dyke") before her water broke. And I wonder if we've seen the last of the K-K-Gay in West Lahunga... That bit was so wrong and hilarious. So much to choose from this week, but I particularly loved the Jai-from-Queer-Eye parody ("the cute one with nothing to do"), and the Roid-Aid anthem, "As Long As You're Hot." Ah ... too true, too true. And I love the cliffhanger ending, but when do we get to see the baby? Can the next season start, like, now???...

Something for the Ladies

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:46:58 EDT

Chuck and Evan bring us their favorites from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "Come To My Window" by Melissa Etheridge "With her album Yes I Am, Melissa Etheridge finally answered the question nobody was asking. I've never actually made it through this entire video, but I wanted to include at least one woman on the list to avoid the angry e-mails." � The Kept Boy's Pick: "Never Again" by Kelly Clarkson "As much as I love me Miss Kelly C., this song answers my question: Will she ever have something as kickass as 'Since U Been Gone'? I hafta say, I�da given that hottie in the video just one more chance. And then another one after that."...

Movie Magic

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:45:59 EDT

COMPUTER ANIMATED ANIMALS ON WACKY ADVENTUREMERYL STREEP DYING WITH AN ACCENTHORNY COLLEGE STUDENTS SLAUGHTERED ON VACATIONTOM HANKS GAINS AND/OR LOSES WEIGHT ...

Hollywood. I Would Not.

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:56:52 EDT

I hate John Travolta. Although, in Hairspray he is the most attractive he�s ever been. Why does everyone of every persuasion want to sleep with Johnny Depp? I don�t get it. It�d be like humping a corpse in a septic tank. I am sick of celebrity gossip. I don�t care whose drunken divorced nipple slipped into rehab after exercising on the beach while pregnant�again. I. Do. Not. Care....

Welcome Wagon: Father Figure!

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:46:57 EDT

The purest, most earnest priest you could find. While he has yet to notice it, everything he says seems to have a double meaning....

Shhhh!

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 11:19:24 EDT

Smack dab in the middle of Main Street is that beacon of learning and literary wisdom, West Lahunga's Public (not Pubic) Libary. Be sure to visit the historic Larry Craig Memorial Stall (the last one by the far wall) in the basement men's room. Tap into your gay heritage! ...

Don't Hate

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:48:22 EDT

This may be your mantra already, but here are the insightful and soul-wrenching lyrics for the tune might just be West Lahunga's town anthem... Sing along! "As Long As You're Hot"Music: Meiro StammLyrics: Q. Allan BrockaPerformed by FOUR FRAMES LATERIt don't matter where or what you beenAs long as you're hotNo one cares if you got faith or sinAs long as you're hotYou don't need looksTo get us in your hooksYou don't have to be coolTo rule the schoolYou don't need a bodyOr know how to partyWe'll do what you wantAs long as you're hotWhoa-ohAs long as you're hotWhoa-ohWe won't notice if you tan your skinAs long as you're hotWe won't judge you if you're fat or thinAs long as you're hotYou don�t need charmTo get us in your armsNo inner beautyWill win our bootyWho cares if you're funnyOr have any moneyWe'll do what you wantAs long as you're hotWhoa-ohAs long as you're hotWhoa-oh(It don't matter if you're hot or not)As long as you're hot(It don't matter if you're hot or not)As long as you're hot...

Sing Out, Louise!

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:07:28 EDT

Who said West Lahunga Beach has no sense of history or culture? Named after the transgender pioneer who would have thrown the first insult at Stonewall if she had been there, the Ursula Rodriguez Memorial Amphitheatre is the community gathering place for spirited protests and do-gooder benefits. The used sex-toy swap meet on Sundays ain't bad, either. ...

DVDs Can Sit and Spin

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:51:51 EDT

I do not like DVDs. I don't care what's coming out. I do not want them lying around my house. I hate looking at them, opening them. I hate their special features. They are a waste of space. If I want to see drama, I'll leave the toilet seat up....

Read the Label

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:43:57 EDT

F. Cornelius Hampton Hampton,this is Dana Bernstein. 'Bernstein'? How embarrassing.It sounds so Jew-y. Is it 'Jew-y.' I'm a JAB. A what? A Jewish-American Bulldyke....

Welcome Wagon: Meet Dr. Hunk!

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 12:52:09 EDT

With the voice of a blues singer, the charm of Count Dracula, and his large, pendulous stethoscope, Dr. Hunk is the most eligible bachelor on the planet. Everyone wants to be sick when he's on duty....

Giving Him Something He Can Feel

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 19:15:47 EDT

Does this feel good? Not really, no. How about this? Rick! No means later!...

You Do the Math

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:58:21 EDT

He's got a twelve-pack! That'slike ... eleven more than you....

Welcome Wagon: Meet Hampton Hampton!

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:52:56 EDT

The most evil villain West Lahunga Beach has ever known. He started up the local hatemongering contingent, the K-K-Gay. But his eye is on something even more sinister: Congress....

Alex Gorelick Serves it Hot at Cuppa Coffee

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:46:10 EDT

You didn't think those little plastic gays talked, moved and played with snap-ons all by themselves did you? Well, just remember you have Cuppa Coffee studios to thank for bringing to West Lahunga community to life. The Toronto-based company may be just 15 years old, but it's already grown into the largest stop-motion facility in the world. Along with production of Rick & Steve, Cuppa Coffee has created Celebrity Deathmatch for MTV and Starveillance for E! Networks, just to name a few.Alex Gorelick, who's worked with Cuppa Coffee for eight years, was at the helm of Rick & Steve production. We had a chance to chat with Alex about bringing the gay world of West Lahunga to life ... along with his wife's pregnancy during production and his favorite R&S character. So tell me about your position with Cuppa Coffee? What was a typical day like working on R&S?I serve as technical director, which means I was the individual who facilitated Allan's vision. I had been with the company for a number of years, so I understood the different departments. Since Allan was new to the company, I was his right-hand man. So how has filming R&S been? What's been different about it from other projects?It was different in many ways; it was a very research and development-heavy project because of the look Allan was going for. It differed so greatly from the other projects we had worked on.Usually shows are quite similar in their pipeline structures ... on R&S, because the characters themselves had to appear to be made out of plastic, the way you might find a toy on a shelf, we had to start from scratch in our sculpting and armature design process. That was a new thing for Cuppa Coffee.So we took the designs Allan brought, we translated them to a CG program, to let us see 3D dimensions of the characters, and once we had final approval from Allan and from Logo, we were able to get each puppet ... we would have each part poured, 30-40 parts to a puppet. In essence it was like building pieces of a car.It allowed for every single character to have this slick, finished polish and toy-like feel to it. It allowed the animators to have the exact same functional armature. We had to decide and figure out how these plastic toys would move and be able to stand up, in the same way. So I understand from Allan your wife was pregnant during production. Did anything from Dana's pregnancy parallel your wife's pregnancy?Yes, there were some parallels at the time of my wife's pregnancy. Allan and I were going through the storyboards for the show, and as we would sit in front of a monitor, we would inevitably get to the baby scenes as the baby perceives the world coming out of the mother's vagina. It sort of paralleled what was coming for my wife, and what I would be seeing down the road. So we laughed a lot at the jokes the other characters were making about Dana, that they were things my wife might hear. When she had the baby, did you tell your wife you were working on the storyboard for Dana's labor?She knew we were working on this show for quite a while, and she was actually very patient with me for a couple of months, because there were some long nights of Allan and I creating storyboards. It was pretty funny, we were sort of counting down the days of my wife's pregnancy and of laying out the whole show and hoping they would coincide. What�s been the hardest thing to animate so far in the series?We really were able to achieve very complex scenes that otherwise would only be shot in live-action, because of the way Allan wanted the show to look. A "monster scene" was at the bow of a ship mimicking Titanic where Allan wanted to reference the CG stop of a camera passing left to right, while the boat was traveling and while the characters were animated.So in stop motion, the only way to do it was to set up a stage to pivot in a 360 rotation ... These giant, monster scenes appeared so many more times than would occur in a standard series. So we knew we were making something pretty spectacular in terms of cinematography. It may look simple, but it's one of the trickiest and one of the cleanest shows you'll find in stop-motion.There's this look, these are simple toys off the shelf, but if you look at it as a cinematographer, trying to create a sitcom-based style, but realize it's peppered with live-action, action-adventure movie scenes, you realize this is no small feat in stop-motion. So who's your favorite Rick & Steve character?Allan and I shared an affinity for the very tall and gargantuan character, who used to be Dana's lover, Michaela. She is so fascinating to look at and to hold, you can't help but fall in love with her. She's a very large puppet and a very large personality. It's also funny Allan voiced her. So Cuppa Coffee's been around for 15 years. How has it changed since you've been there? What do you hope will change in the future?I did my first project in 1999, and it has steadily grown and improved its technical capacity to produce work. Simply by virtue of growing, it's able to hire more talented individuals and by getting them all under the same roof, the creativity has gone up as well.And I think I can safely assume the same is going to happen in years to come. Bigger and bigger projects are coming to Cuppa Coffee....

Click It. Download It. Own It.

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:17:10 EDT

Hey, loyal fans! Don't forget: You can download all six episodes of Rick & Steve in all their unedited and undignified glory from iTunes and Amazon. ...

Which Rick & Steve Character Are You? Take the Quiz!

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 11:27:51 EDT

The Season 1 finale of Rick & Steve has come ... and gone. But you can keep the love alive by using this handy tool to find out which Rick & Steve character you are! This Alter Ego quiz, courtesy of Noah Lusky and his new book, Who's Your TV Alter Ego?, will tell you which little, plastic gay you match up with! All you Kirstens can finally find your Dana. All you Steves can finally find your Rick! All you Evans... well, you're not so hard to please, are you? Who's Your Rick & Steve Alter Ego?...

Preview the Season Finale!

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 17:28:07 EDT

Attention folks! Éclipse totale! Halley's Comet! It's time to fasten your seatbelts. The Rick & Steve season finale is here. But fear not! Rick & Steve will not be forever forgotten. You can order the DVD, buy the episode on iTunes or Amazon, and watch this little clip to tide you over ... Enjoy! Go ahead... Download this clip!. It's the least we can do.-->...

Counting Down to Episode 6

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:00:12 EDT

When he realizes he's "skinny fat," Rick decides to take herbal steroids, but he's not prepared for the side effects — and neither is Steve. And as a business venture, Steve inadvertently attends a meeting of the K-K-Gay. Meanwhile, as the baby's big day approaches, Dana's on a hormonal roller-coaster. The once militant man-hater does a complete 180, and she goes a little overboard baby-proofing the house. ...

A Cat's Fancy

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:13:21 EDT

She's sexy. She's smart. She's svelte. She's too cool to be human! Lucy Liu is obviously a cat in human disguise. I hate to out the purrty thing, but she's, like, so obvious. Lucy, it's time to come out of the litter box and play with the pride. xo, Puss...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Christophe!

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:04:50 EDT

Squat gym's earthy bohemian yoga instructor. He sticks to a strict diet of fruits and nuts that have naturally fallen from the tree....

Take Your Demographics and Run!

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:44:28 EDT

Did anyone teach you to knock? We have to get out of here!The ship is sinking! I can't die! I still votein a red state!...

Your TV SUX

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:38:08 EDT

If by talent you mean corporate greed, crappy health care, and terrible reality television, then yeah, we got that. And Someone put David Hasselhoff in charge of talent? That's as absurd as putting George Bush in charge of, I dunno, the government. I can't stand that bastard in Hell's Kitchen, either. When I want to be fake yelled at for 60 minutes I watch Jackie Warner. At least she's hot. Maybe one of them will invent a better show. Until they do, I wish they'd stop bombarding us with commercials....

Welcome Wagon: Meet Charo Martinez!

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:28:47 EDT

At 34, she's just 15 years older than her son Evan, but she claims to be 29. She's determined to be a famous performer and auditions for reality shows on a weekly basis....

At Least They Agree on Something

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:26:23 EDT

Chuck and Evan bring us their favorites from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "Take Your Mama" by Scissor Sisters "So this is what the kids are listening to?! It's entirely too shimmying and not enough full-on sex for me. And is it too much to ask for one wheelchair in any of these goddamned videos?! Even the friggin' scissors have functioning legs. I have to say, I would like to climb out of my seat and onto that lead singer's face for a spell." � The Kept Boy's Pick: "She's My Man" by Scissor Sisters "OMG, I love me some Scissor Sisters, I'd love this clip even more if Jake Shears was more nakeder. I ate at this restaurant once. I also left with two men hanging out of my butt."...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Joanna!

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:20:51 EDT

Just a sweet li'l Southern belle at heart, Joanna is Steve's mumsy. She just loves her little sugarplum to bits, but he is going to be the death of her, what with his backdoor shenanigans....

Welcome Wagon: Meet Carlton!

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:20:00 EDT

Joanna's fifth husband. The first four were also Southern gentlemen named Carlton. He knows if he lets her think she's running the show, she'll actually run it, and he won't have to do squat....

Yellow Fever

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:39:11 EDT

Yummy! Who's that? That would be Rick's ex-boyfriend.Don't even try. He's a strict ricequeen. It's a known fact that Latinoscan pass for Asians if we have to....

Let the Boys be Boys

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:30:23 EDT

Hanging out at Jockson (masc/str8 bois only) broadcasts to the world, "I am no sissy." And, you know, the staff could probably serve better food or hang up a few draperies, but that would spoil the imposed-manly ambience. This is a haven for the Steves of the world, not the Ricks. Jockson's clientele have hairy chests and enjoy explosions — they don't have time for reed diffusers or Williams-Sonoma! ...

All Aboard!

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:01:49 EDT

I'm a stowaway. Ticketswere too damned expensive. Where are you going to sleep? Please, there'll be plentyof time to sleep in rehab....

Welcome Wagon: Meet Dr. Proctor!

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 18:41:14 EDT

The best and only shrink in the WLB, Dr. Proctor is responsible for the sanity of the entire community. While his methods may be unorthodox, they do sometimes get him laid....

Happiest Gay Poll Recap: Getting Out of Dodge

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 16:51:24 EDT

Nothing like a little gay travel to re-ignite that plastic spark! But the Happiest Gays needed your help on this one, so what did you choose for Rick & Steve's next vacay?It's Euro-slutty — by a landslide 33 percent! Rio, Capetown and Sydney scored second with 23 percent, but it's hard to compete with Euro-ass. Rick & Steve didn't find a suitable third in America, but everyone knows you can indulge when you're traveling! ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Bodiless Mute Blind Latina Lesbian in a Wheelchair!

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 16:40:41 EDT

Born a humble head, she's determined to be entirely self sufficient. She takes offense to people's patronizing attitude towards her. While she can't see or speak or move, she can feel, dammit! She can feel....

Rick & Steve Back to Back

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 16:23:29 EDT

Get ready for those crazy parents, scary straights and needy hags to return for the Rick & Steve double-feature tonight! "Damn Straights" and "It's Raining Pussy" not enough? Check out how to make your own Rick & Steve online comics! Email this post to your friends to remind them to tune in tonight!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Calamity Penn-Phillippe-Pitt-Stapleton!

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 19:05:27 EDT

Ms. Penn-Phillippe-Pitt-Stapleton is the arguably the most versatile and respected actress of our time. Her celebrity husbands never seem to last very long, but she wears her slowly growing last name as a brave badge of survival. See her heart-rending performance on Skanky Housewives....

White Party Monster

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 18:57:17 EDT

This pale pussy pounced prissy prestidigitator Roy Horn in 2003. At the tender age of 11, this hot, white tiger and renowned face-mauler has got it goin' on! Abra Cat-Grab-Ya! xo, Puss...

Moving On

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 18:45:31 EDT

What's wrong, Rickshaw?You used to love dancing dirty. I'm with Steve now. Idon't love anything....

The Pooper Scoop: Ebony and Ivory

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 18:28:01 EDT

Great to have you here, Ebony and Ivory. I met your adorable baby ... earlier and he — or she — is such a heartbreaker. What advice do you have for parents out there for raising a happy boy or girl? Ivory: We prefer you say "she or he" and "girl or boy." Ebony: With the feminine first. Ivory: We've spent thousands of years forced to follow men. Ebony: And there's no reason to perpetuate that in grammar. Ivory: That's our advice. We'll check back in with you in 13 years and see how that's going. Now there's a lot of talk about the West Lahunga Beach baby boom these days. What do you make of that? Ebony: When we had our first baby— Ivory: Harmony. Ebony: Yes Harmony, we inspired the community. Ivory: Who wouldn�t want the very obvious happiness we have. Who?! Who but a bigot? Ebony: Of course, Harmony had to be sent away. Ivory: But we have Echinacea now. Well let's get serious here. Ivory — isn't the simple act of having a child a validation of the patriarchy? Aren't you unconsciously trying to "be just like the straights," as you might say? Ivory: You're such a man. Ebony: Your stereotypes of lesbians are completely offensive. Ivory: "Validation of the patriarchy"? Ebony: Stop offending us. New subject. Ebony, are you control freak? Ivory: No asswipe, I�m the control freak. Ebony: What she said. Ok. Any final thoughts? Ebony: This isn't for Fox News is it? Ivory: Are we getting paid for this?...

Happiest Gay Comic: The Rolling Who?

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:26:47 EDT

We're always on the lookout for fun fan creations. Here's a comic from snick, a member of the Rick & Steve community. So what if someone shamelessly stole a joke from Absolutely Fabulous to create this comic? It's a fun little toy that everyone should try at least once. I guess Joanna's hair is very Patsy-like. As is her interest in her vagina, or plastic surgery, at any rate. What are you waiting for? Try it, yourself! Then join the community and say hi to snick!...

Better Safe Than Sorry

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 13:37:37 EDT

You have ten suitcases!Who are you, Aaliyah?...

Summer of Blockbusters

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 13:26:34 EDT

In case you missed it in the opening sequence this week, we just wanted you to know what's playing at the Craemmle: PIRATES OF THE LESBIANHOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 GAYSHAIRY SQUATTER AND THE CHEEKY INNUENDOEATING OUT VI: REGURGITATED ...

The Pooper Scoop: Rick and Kirsten

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 19:16:34 EDT

Rick and Kirsten — you've been friends for a long time, I see here in my notes. How did you meet?Rick: We met in college and we, um...Kirsten: Well, we sort of dated, right?Rick: Yes, but we'll save that story for another episode. In our lives. Now Kirsten, I hear that many gays and lesbians prefer anonymous donation. Why Rick? No offense, Rick. You seem to have wonderful genes.Kirsten: I want Rick because he's smart, giving, caring, handsome, and ... well, I�ve always wanted a biracial baby.Rick: Kirsten!Kirsten: Is that bad?Rick: Of course it's bad! We're not accessories!Kirsten: Oh, should I want a white baby?Rick: Well, um. No. I don't know. All I know is racism is bad.Kirsten: Yes, racism is bad.Rick: Bad. That's really touching. I need a moment. OK. Now, my team has done a little research, and it turns out that your respective partners aren't as — shall we say — enthusiastic about each other as you are. Thoughts?Kirsten: I don�t know what you�re talking about.Rick: Me neither. My researchers point to Dana as more of the problem, but let's move on. Rick — do you and Steve have an open relationship? And if so, does that include impregnating Kirsten?Rick: We do not have an open relationship!Kirsten: And the only one impregnating me will be a cold sterile kitchen utensil. I'm glad you've cleared that up. One last question: Have you decided what your baby will call the four of you? Mom, Dad, Papa, Ina, Mamu?Kirsten: No.Rick: Anderson, don't you know better than to ask a yes-or-no question?...

Attention, All Sadomasochists!

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:50:01 EDT

Why stop abusing your bodies when you've had your fill of T.G.I. Scabies? Just head downstairs for some old-fashioned, and only semi-poisonous, Japanese cuisine! And everyone knows a false eyelash in your maki is good luck! ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet QTSTR8A&FJOCK!

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:44:29 EDT

The sweet, boyish lesbian wife of Dylan Ram-Brick. She spends her evenings lurking on the Internet, searching for an unsuspecting sperm donor....

...Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:41:27 EDT

This song sort of speaks for itself, don't you think? "The Seamen Dance"Music: Meiro StammLyrics: Q. Allan BrockaPerformed by FALAYSHAShake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman danceGet those seamen off those shipsFloat their boats now shake your hipsMan that vessel up your alleyMake navy gravy in the galleyShake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman danceShake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman danceCome in sailor from the stormTake off your wet uniformSwab the deck to get promotionThe ocean's motion'll be your lotionIt's the U.S.S., S.O.S.with a U.S.M.C., P.F.C.and a B.D.S.M., N.C.O.On the D.L., Daddy-OShake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman dance Shake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman dance Shake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman danceShake it offIn your pantsCome on, boyDo the seaman dance ...

Just Hittin' Up The F.C.!

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:40:30 EDT

Even though no one knows which celebs Perez is trying to spot at the Free Clinic (or what he, himself, is getting treated for?), this establishment remains a safe haven for those in need in West Lahunga ...A-a-and for those trying to abuse a medical condition to score drugs for recreational use!Both noble causes. ...

Some Booty With Those Meds?

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:35:05 EDT

It's good to know Chuck is still having two-plus hour sex sessions despite his condition, isn't it? Perhaps he and Evan have even found a way to "sex up" administering Chuck's pre-coital meds... ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Anderson Pooper!

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:19:43 EDT

The hard-hitting news reporter who personally buries himself in every single story, whether it's infiltrating a terror cell or covering a bake sale. He will get someone to cry on camera ... or he'll do it himself....

Happiest Gay Clip: The Will Matthews Interview

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:27:08 EDT

Playing the voice of Rick came quite naturally to Will Matthews: His audition for the part marked just his second try at voiceovers, and even better, he was told to use his normal voice. That, he reveals, earns a few jokes from his mom and really helps him pick up the ladies. You can download this clip! Before moving to West Lahunga, Will was actually a fixture on Punk'd, playing a field agent in quite a few episodes. Will also confesses he and Rick share a few neuroses and that he never thought Rick & Steve would make it to TV — he must be glad he was wrong!...

Zahara-Apple-Suri, Anyone?

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:15:16 EDT

Because I hate it, and I hate you! Well I hate you, fatso! I'm pregnant! Your ass isn't pregnant!...

Make Your Friends Jealous

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:45:25 EDT

Order Season 1 of Rick & Steve on DVD! Get all six episodes — and be the first on your happiest gay block to catch all of the juicy Rick & Steve bonus material! Behind-the-scenes featurettes Cast interviews 12 digisodes And more gay crap! ...

Your Very Own Episode 5!

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:37:45 EDT

Just a friendly reminder, you can download Episode 5 of Rick & Steve in all its unedited glory from iTunes or Amazon. Relive your favorite Titanic moments as the S.S. Corybungus runs aground on an iceberg. Too bad we don't have Kate Winslet to keep us warm in that icy water! ...

Episode 5 Recap

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:10:28 EDT

First off, let me say I never thought I would hear an Aaliyah joke. (Remember Chuck saying, "Ten suitcases? Who are you, Aaliyah?") Good job, guys — that one definitely caught me off guard. Where we left off, Kirsten's gotten over some of her motherly insecurities, and Evan's need for sex and to be a total flake have trumped the fun he had with Condi. I loved that Margaret Cho played "the fag hag," and I was a big fan of the names of the new characters this episode (Arugula and Fellatia? Amazing.)....

Happiest Gay Poll Recap: What's in a Name?

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:33:34 EDT

Whether or not she's taking suggestions from any of you man-o-centric pigs is another story, but the votes for Dana's baby name are in!Zahara-Apple-Suri edged out Thyme (probably for the best — Ebony and Ivory already did the "herb" thing) with 35 percent of your votes.Even ultra-cynical JAB Dana would have to be inspired by the Brangelina, Gweneth and Cruise celebrity progessives of today, right? ...

Come for the Tonsillectomy, Stay for the Nose Job

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:29:51 EDT

Suicide is lame! Why not just shoot for a failed attempt (to take a page out of Condie's manual) and check out the fab decor of Ursula Rodriguez Memorial?You probably can't foot the bill for a standard stomach-pumping, but who knows — before they kick you out, you might snag a hot doctor.They're all about helping the needy, right? ...

Counting Down to Episode 5

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:55:28 EDT

The whole crew bid goodbye to the gay bars, spin classes and therapists of West Lahunga to go on a gay cruise. While Kirsten and Dana attend the exclusively lesbian Lamaze class at Pontius Pilates, Rick and Steve run into Rick's loaded ex, Hunter, who�s got a serious case of "yellow fever." But when the ship hits an iceberg, everyone must stop doing the "seamen dance" and save their own butts!...

Why Don't You Go Wax Something?

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 11:40:05 EDT

Why do I hate swimming pools? The average public swimming pool is 14% urine. Drink it up, ladies. Whoever invented the bikini clearly wanted to give skinny people skin cancer. While I applaud the sentiment, I wish they could've come up with a quicker method....

Fresh Meat Welcome!

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 16:17:29 EDT

West Lahunga's "meat-packing" hub seemed like the perfect hunting ground for Rick and Steve's "guest appearance," but no luck. The Meat Market's ambiance still keeps their clientele coming back, though... even if actually touching anything is a bad idea. ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Dakota Montana!

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 12:22:26 EDT

At the tender age of 9, Dakota has already proven to be the most versatile actor working today. He's played a variety of murderers, drug addicts, hustlers, athletes, and world leaders. He's won 14 Golden Globes, but has yet to be nominated for an Oscar....

Boys Will Be Boys

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 12:17:12 EDT

Chuck and Evan bring us their favorites from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "West End Girls" by Pet Shop Boys "Back in the day it didn�t matter if videos were actually good. As long as the girls had hairspray and the boys had makeup, you had a hit on your hands. What's strange in this video is the East End boys and West End girls never actually meet, or even notice each other." --> � The Kept Boy's Pick: "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" by Fall Out Boy "I cnt wtch Fll Out By w/o thnkng abt Pte Wntz's pns. Ymmy! & OMG, wht I wld giv 2B tht bisxl drg qn mnky!" --> Come back soon and often for more of the Happiest Gay Tunes on the Web!...

Happiest Gay Clip: The Emily Brooke Hands Interview

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:07:46 EDT

Emily Brooke Hands voices Kirsten on Rick & Steve — and she's in love with her character. And she might even be as sweet as the character she plays. Emily finds voiceover work liberating — meaning you can go crazy and not worry about how you look. Fun! You can download this clip!. It's yours to keep! Apparently, Emily really likes the gays. She's worked with Rick & Steve creator Q. Allan Brocka before — actually, a lot. She starred in both Eating Out and Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds (the DVD mega-hit) as well as his more serious film, Boy Culture. And she's always good for a sharp and funny turn onscreen. Keep an eye out for her. You're gonna see more soon! And you can also visit Emily Brooke Hands on MySpace. Stay sweet, Em!...

The Str8 and Narrow

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 15:57:22 EDT

Although we think Steve's handwriting could use a little str8-ifying to complete his persona, it looks like everyone's favorite gym queen has it all down to a science. After all, chicken breasts, Muscle Milk and happy hours are really all you need in this life. And who knew K-Fed lived in West Lahunga? ...

Royal Twink

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 15:51:18 EDT

I tudored Jonathon Rhys Myers on everything he knows....

Happiest Gay Clip: The Taylor Dooley Interview

Thu, 9 Aug 2007 13:38:35 EDT

The woman behind Dana may just surprise you! Taylor M. Dooley's the first to admit if Rick & Steve were live-action, she never would have gotten the part — she doesn't exactly scream bull-dyke. Check out her interview to see how drag queens, a basement and a Mexican restaurant were all involved in her landing the part of Dana. You can download this clip! It's yours to keep! Taylor's also played in the indie-horror movie, Katiebird, and produced and starred in the 2006 film Flying Naked (no, not Reichen�s jewelry line), in which her character discovers her fantastical and romantic dreams may not be imagined. Oh, and there are ninjas! Check out the Flying Naked trailer — can you believe that's Dana?...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Echinacea!

Thu, 9 Aug 2007 13:07:17 EDT

The second child of Ebony and Ivory, Echinacea's gender is unknown. It is up to her or him to discover it on her or his life journey....

No Dummies Allowed

Wed, 8 Aug 2007 16:18:00 EDT

Hey! "Hotness" is not a factor in the Men-Zuh space, a haven from the shallow, gay horn-balls of West Lahunga. The higher brain functions required for even an entry-level game of Magicians and Wizards would probably overload your little one-track minds, so keep walkin'. ...

Unhappiest Gay Poll Recap: Make it a Double, Condie!

Wed, 8 Aug 2007 13:55:17 EDT

The fans voted, and — poor Condie — the majority of you (37 percent) recommended she just stick with drugs, alcohol and fashion to fill the void in her life. But let's face it: That's really the only option for the hard-partying fag hag. After all, she would do more crying than her adopted baby, she'd be hard-pressed to find another gay to put up with her, and ... come on, self-esteem, shmelf-esteem. What's that ever done for anybody?...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Ebony!

Wed, 8 Aug 2007 13:41:24 EDT

Although she may seem hip, trendy, and sassy, Ebony takes everything very seriously. Especially when it comes to her children, who will grow up in a perfect environment, no matter what....

Happiest Gay Clip: The Lorna Luft Interview

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 19:37:27 EDT

The gayest show on TV boasts big gay voice talent (Alan Cumming, Wilson Cruz, Peter Paige) but none with a royal pedigree like Lorna Luft. Yep, the woman who lends her voice to Joanna, Steve's mother, is none other than Judy Garland's daughter! Lorna happily explains how she got hooked up with the Rick & Steve crew — and how the show is smart social commentary, too! Hey, Judy would be proud! You can download this clip! It's yours to keep! Of course Lorna's been in the spotlight for years. As a kid, she performed onstage with her mom and half-sibs Liza and Joey on The Judy Garland Show, and toured for live shows with the brood as well. She made her Broadway debut in 1971 in the musical Promises, Promises, and has starred in tours of Guys & Dolls and Follies, among others. And just last winter, she hit the stage in London in a splashy production of Irving Berlin's White Christmas. (Ho, ho, ho!) She's recorded many albums, and still performs all over. And she has appeared in movies, such as Grease 2 (as Pink Lady Paulette Rebchuck) and in Where the Boys Are '84. And perhaps most successfully, she penned a bracingly honest book about her famous family and upbringing, Me and My Shadows: A Family Memoir, which was made into the stellar TV miniseries, Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows, starring Judy Davis as her brilliantly talented and oft-manipulated and substance-abusing mother. Sure, she's never had the stardom of her super-famous sister Liza, but Lorna's always been a trooper and supported gay causes. And she's even popped up onstage with Rufus Wainwright at his Judy Garland tribute show at Carnegie Hall, which shows she's got a great sense of humor and perspective on the whole Garland/showbiz legacy. Not bad... Thanks, Lorna!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Ivory!

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 19:14:54 EDT

She found the love of her life and they've started making babies, but it's her own personal decision, so don't you dare accuse her of aping sexist hetero patriarchies. Why do you hate seeing a woman make her own choices?...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Dylan Ram-Brick!

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 19:08:25 EDT

Dylan Ram-Brick is the sexy award-winning PornSteak Video exclusive with a pendulous snap-on member who confuses men and women alike. Dylan's butch and sexy personality transcends all genders and orientations....

Rated X-tra Fun

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 18:59:25 EDT

Whether you're waiting in line for The Devil Wears Nada or Angels in American Apparel, the best part of seeing a movie at the stately Craemmle is when the lights dim way down... ...

So Much to Live For

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 18:30:55 EDT

What a bitch. Suicide is lame....

One More Round

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 15:51:11 EDT

Has the gay whirlwind of the past few weeks left you over-stimulated? Or maybe you need to play catch-up on any Rick & Steve episodes you may have missed? Well, tonight's your chance to look back, revisit the magic... see how far they've come. Logo will air all four episodes of Rick & Steve back-to-back tonight for any of you late-comers out there. Read through the previews for Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3 and Episode 4. And for the fans, this is your chance to let your peeps experience the gay, plastic wonder that is the world of West Lahunga too! Email this post to your friends to remind them to tune in tonight!...

Happiest Gay Comic

Tue, 7 Aug 2007 12:26:59 EDT

It's time to channel your inner, ultra-fab Stan Lee to make West Lahunga your own! For all you devotees out there, you can now create original Rick & Steve comics! Think you've got a better fat joke for Steve to sling at pregs Dana? Or that you know what really gets Kirsten's plastic motor running? Give it a shot, and share your creations with fellow Rick & Steve fans!...

Too Much of a Good Thing

Mon, 6 Aug 2007 19:18:59 EDT

Dana cautiously opens her front door and steps out of the house. The cats calmly wait, their soft meows echoing in the empty street. Otherwise, it is completely silent. The front door creaks shut. What the hell?...

Good Vibrations

Mon, 6 Aug 2007 18:59:54 EDT

The nine lives cat's shocking black lightning bolt tail never goes out of style. Vibrating toys of all sorts have been powered by this pointy little Pussy for decades. And let me tell you: This kind of charge is contagious. Bzzzzzt! xo, Puss...

Baba Ghanouj... Our Favorite...

Mon, 6 Aug 2007 18:16:08 EDT

Dinner with Rick and Steve again? But Dana's had it with the "penis-wielding nutsacks!" What is Steve good for? Hmmm... How about some liberal white man's guilt? Download this clip to your computer!...

How About a Ticket to the Gun Show?

Mon, 6 Aug 2007 14:01:54 EDT

I'm sure we're all relieved to see Guns 'n' Homo working to maintain Americans' most cherished right. Besides, what West Lahunga resident doesn't need a big piece from time to time? And although the staff may or may not have the goods to match their arsenals, at least they know how to decorate! ...

What's Ten Inches Long and Made of Plastic?

Mon, 6 Aug 2007 13:55:03 EDT

Learn how you can make your very own Rick head! And catch this behind-the-scenes look with Character Fabrication Supervisor Shelly St. Amont to see the 15,000 puppet pieces that make up the world of West Lahunga. ...

Must Be Fashion Week

Fri, 3 Aug 2007 18:12:42 EDT

In case you missed it in the opening sequence this week, we just wanted you to know what's playing at the Craemmle: THE DEVIL WEARS NADATHE FASHION OF THE CHRISTPROJECT RUNWAY TO HEAVENANGELS IN AMERICAN APPAREL ...

Low Ratings, High Times

Fri, 3 Aug 2007 17:59:51 EDT

Everyone likes a good old-fashioned dive bar. Well, T.G.I. Scabies is all of the "old" and none of the "fashion." At this place, the cocktails are as cheap as the clientele. You never know who you'll go home with, or home many legs he'll have. ...

Sing Along! It's the West Lahunga Beach Welcome Wagon!

Fri, 3 Aug 2007 16:20:32 EDT

We all know our lives totally suck compared to Rick and Steve's, but let's all look up at that giant rainbow one more time and sing our favorite town's gay praises! Come on, you know the words... "The Rick & Steve Theme Song"Music & Lyrics by Robert Lopez & Jeff MarxPerformed by THE CITIZENS OF WEST LAHUNGA BEACHYou're welcome hereIn our little queer communityWhether or not you're hotOf if you've got HIVYou may just find the love of your lifeYour same sex husbandYour same sex wifeThere's Dana and KirstenAnd Evan and ChuckBut all our lives just suckCompared toRick & SteveRick & SteveHappy and gayLike you wouldn't believe[Rick & Steve] Loving life[Dana] Hating girlsThey're happiest gay coupleIn all the world ...

Straight to the Bottom

Fri, 3 Aug 2007 14:54:08 EDT

Is having a gay baby so much to ask? Dana and Kirsten may not have started a gender reassignment fund just yet, but a sexual-orientation preference list is just basic parenting. Think about it. If we have a straightgirl, some day, she's gonna want tosleep with straight guys. How wouldyou feel about straight men bangingyour daughter? Point taken. Straight girlmoves to the bottom of the list....

More Than Meets the ... Ay!

Fri, 3 Aug 2007 13:08:16 EDT

I can transform into a drag queen (with bad shoes). ...

Dangerous on the Dance Floor

Thu, 2 Aug 2007 19:56:34 EDT

I know a gay bar on the maindrag called "T.G.I. Scabies." Isn't that on the secondfloor where "Club Syphilis"used to be?...

One Good Toy Deserves Another

Thu, 2 Aug 2007 19:44:14 EDT

Just go ahead and try to make Dana blush. We dare you. ...

Plastic Surgery

Thu, 2 Aug 2007 19:34:25 EDT

Evan's worried that he's not perfect. But how can Chuck help him? Maybe by pointing out his flaws... Let's start with that face! Ooof... This one's classic. Don't say we never gave you anything. Download this clip to your computer!...

Hold the Cream

Thu, 2 Aug 2007 18:24:33 EDT

No matter what you put in your cup, you can find it at West Lahunga Beach's favorite caffeinated hot spot, Black Like Me Cafe Cuteness? They're not kidding! Stay tuned for more from the pages of the GayMate Guide to West Lahunga Beach hangouts....

It's Raining Cats, Not Dogs

Thu, 2 Aug 2007 18:05:20 EDT

Dana sure gets a lot of Pussy in Episode 4! If you find yourself needing more, we dug up the lyrics to her rallying anthem. Cheers! "It's Raining Pussy Cats" Music by Meiro Stamm, Lyrics by Q. Allan Brocka Performed by TOMCAT It's raining Pussycats Pussycats Don't you cheat Pussy For she will defeat you Don't mistreat Pussy Or she will delete you She'll heat you, browbeat you Eat, then excrete you It's raining Pussycats Pussycats Pussy Pussy Puss Pussy Pussy Puss Pussycats Pussycat If you tap Pussy Well, Pussy'll cap you If you trap Pussy Hell, she will kidnap you She'll snap you, unwrap you Scrap and bitch slap you It's raining Pussycats Pussycats Pussy Pussy Puss Pussy Pussy Puss Pussycats Pussycat...

Condi Time: Much To Do About Nothing

Thu, 2 Aug 2007 15:13:59 EDT

Taking a quick glance at Condie's to-do, we've earned at least three things about West Lahunga's ever-present fag hag. Oh — and Katie Holmes better watch herself. One: Whatever "Condie Time" consists of, it takes four hours. Could it involve a bed, a personal device and images of Clay Aiken? Two: Condie is a Clay-sian. Three: Attempting to get back with Terence takes only five minutes, while Manuel and Jack each require 25. Hey, at least she's realistic — maybe Terence is getting too gay even for Condie's tastes, because it's not like her to give up. Keep hope alive, girl! ...

Happiest gay Clip: The Peter Paige Interview

Wed, 1 Aug 2007 17:38:24 EDT

Peter Paige is all for inappropriate. The man behind Steve, or as Peter calls him, the "gym queen," discusses his role as one of the title characters. Peter says that although there's not much to Steve other than Creatine and chicken breasts, he's more than happy to play the part since the world could use some more inappropriate humor. Most gays would probably recognize Peter Paige from his role as Emmett Honeycutt on Showtime's Queer as Folk. But Peter's also an accomplished stage actor and has guest starred in Will & Grace, Grey's Anatomy and Girlfriends. Peter grew up in West Hartford, Connecticut, attended Boston University's School of Theatre and moved to L.A. to land his first part on Suddenly Susan. He also recently starred in his feature directorial debut, Say Uncle, a comedy about a small-town community turning on Peter's character because they suspect he's a pedophile; he's also appeared in Don McKellar's Childstar. He's super-talented and knows how to rock a fedora, which we love. Ladies and Gens, we give you... Peter Paige! ...

Download Episode 4 Today!

Wed, 1 Aug 2007 17:13:50 EDT

Just a friendly reminder, you can download the second episode of Rick & Steve in all its unedited glory from iTunes or Amazon. Or, if you prefer, download from XBox Live Marketplace, BitTorrent or Wal-Mart. Own Episode 4 today! Watch all your favorite MTV Red Carpet Arrivals all over again! ...

Recapping Episode 4!

Wed, 1 Aug 2007 17:06:57 EDT

Aaand, the fourth installment of Rick & Steve is in the books... we told you Pussy was freaky! (We just want to say that all of the movie parodies the writers stuck in during the Dana-cat battles were great.) And it turns out Rick and Steve aren't crazy- Pussy really can talk! So where we left off, Pussy has a new home in the tool shed and has called off her minions' attack on Dana. Chuck has managed to stop Condi, the hag, from stealing his fag, and we've learned about Ursula Rodriguez, the first-ever fag hag of West Lahunga. We loved that all the lesbians now use tasers as vibrators - and we hope we haven't seen the last of Dana's gigantic ex-girlfriend, Michaela. We're still not sure why they were called Michelle Wie Tasers, though... isn't she that golfer? Hmmmm... And we have to admit, we still laugh so hard every time Kirsten or Dana get into their car and the radio plays, "I'm a lesbiaaaan." Such a hot jam....

All Blurry-Eyed

Wed, 1 Aug 2007 13:21:33 EDT

I could see my entire life flashbefore my eyes, like one big gay pride parade. ...

Episode 5 Sneak Preview: Avast Ye Maties!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 19:47:36 EDT

On the next Rick & Steve, the gang tries out the life aquatic! Follow them as they board the gynormous USS Corybungus for a swingin' LGBT cruise! Ahoy hoy! Also, if you've some catching up to do, tune in next Tuesday as we'll be airing Episodes 1 & 2; Episode 5 airs Tuesday, August 14th at 10!...

Happiest Gay Poll Recap: Pussy Rules!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 19:20:29 EDT

So is Pussy big in boy-crazy West Lahunga? You bet! In fact, Rick & Steve's lil' feline friend Pussy is the most popular petting partner in town. This past week's poll asked "How do you feel about Pussy?" The results are in and 36% of you declare "Pussy Rules!" Which would be a ringing endorsement except that 32% of you are still scratching your head wondering "Is this a trick question?" Whatevs... Either way (as usual), the dastardly Puss wins in the end. Meowwwww!!!...

Counting Down to Episode 4!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:59:00 EDT

Now that Dana's got a full-on bump going, everyone's preparing for the new baby's arrival. But a little misjudgment on Pussy's part leads to every West Lahunga cat harassing poor Dana. Note Pussy's wildly complex, take-down game-plan: In her efforts to defend herself, Dana discovers something that puts traditional vibrators to shame and has all the lesbians drooling-- including Dana's ex, Michaela. Will the brilliant Poos be out-smarted by Miss Bernstein? Doubtful, but it could just be the "shock" of her life! Sorry, we couldn't resist... Also (bonus!), we also meet one Miss Condoleeza Ling: the poor fag hag with a 17 boyfriends turned 17 fake suicide attempts track record (voiced by Margaret Cho!). She could be our favorite character (with exception to maybe the Bodiless Mute Blind Latina Lesbian in a Wheelchair), so 'ya best tune in!...

If I Could Turn Back Time...

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:30:52 EDT

We are now entering theheterosexual time zone.Please set your watchesto five minutes ago. ...

Bonding with the Baby Mama

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:21:50 EDT

So will Steve ever make nice with his butch nemesis, Dana? And what if it's his seed that taking root in her flower box? Leapin' labias! Get Rick & Steve freebies...Download this clip to your computer!...

Happiest Gay Clip: The Margaret Cho Interview

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:15:09 EDT

An admitted (and proud of it!) fag-hag herself, Margaret Cho chats about her role as Condi Ling on Rick & Steve. Margaret admits playing the overly-dramatic Condi comes very naturally to her and that the life of a fag hag certainly has its perks. As Margaret has put it, "Fag hags are the backbone of the gay community" and without them, we're nothing, so Margaret's happy Condi's character shows that part, that essential part, of queer of life. Margaret Cho was born and raised in San Francisco and began doing stand-up comedy at age 16, which often involved making fun of her quirky, Korean mother and her many gay friends. She enjoyed success in comedy, but Margaret also had her sights set on acting; in 1994, she starred in All-American Girl, the first sitcom about an Asian-American family. But after struggling with network execs, they cancelled the short-lived show, which ending up being the subject of her one-woman show, I'm the One that I Want. The performance was made into a concert-film as well as a best-selling book; Margaret followed up this success with Notorious C.H.O., which sold out Carnegie Hall. Margaret continued her outrageous, passionate, pro-gay stand-up with a national tour in 2003, called Revolution, and then with her equally political performance, Assassin, in 2004. She also took on her first movie, Bam Bam and Celeste, which she described as a fag and fag-hag Dumb And Dumber. She also hosts a monthly burlesque comedy show called The Sensuous Woman. Margaret's been honored by GLAAD, the ACLU and National Organization of Women for her outspoken devotion to minorities, particularly to the struggle of women and the LGBT community in the U.S., and, most recently, she toured with True Colors!...

Fab Freebie: Condi Wallpapers!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 17:49:16 EDT

Condoleeza Ling's wallpaper has arrived! Get your Fag Hag on with the ultimate Alternative Lifestyle Companion! Get in where you fit in... Download Condi's wallpaper in three sizes-- small, medium, or large!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Condi!

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 17:37:59 EDT

Condi Ling (the fag hag) Rick's suicidal, irresponsible, jealous, and inexplicably rich ex-girlfriend who loves to party. Age: 29 and still friggin' single Occupation: Different things here and there Interests: Fashion, Men, Gay men, Being a gay man Turn-ons: Gay Porn Idols: Whoever is really cool right now Favorite Expression: Do I have to commit to an expression right now? Connie has successfully turned eleven men gay, the first being Rick, back in high school. She has recently moved back to West Lahunga Beach after a break-up with number eleven, whom she had actually married. She's a party girl to the end and would do anything to be a gay man, even an ugly one with a little penis. While she fits comfortably into any soiree, when the party's over, she's always alone and depressed. She's survived eleven suicide attempts and counting. QUOTABLE: "I am not a fag hag! I'm an alternative lifestyle companion." PHYSICAL: Rotund, Asian, hair in pigtails, clothes see too tight and kind of trampy, lots of make up....

Ahh, the '90s!

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:29:01 EDT

Chuck gives Evan a quick flashback history lesson on Clinton, JonBenet, O.J., and a trampy, eager intern named Monica. Who doesn't love the '90s??!!! Don't forget, you can download this clip to your computer too!...

The Other Cartoon TV Show

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:17:10 EDT

Hey, it's Evan. So everybody's been talking about The Simpsons Movie for the past few days. Um, here are my $.02 on the matter: I love cartoons! Especially The Simpsons! But I wish they didn't have all that "social commentary" stuff — cartoons are supposed to be for silly fun, people! In my opinion, they shouldn't try to make statements about politics and social issues... I can't wait to see the movie though!...

Collagen Much?

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:14:15 EDT

I have never seen a human who wanted to look like me so badly as today's Hottie, Amanda Lepore. Now, we all know it'll never happen, but I'll award her today's Hot Pussy of the Day on the basis of sheer persistence and determination. Wanna tip doll face? Real Pussies wear less mascara. Nice rack, though....

Calling Carson Kressley

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 12:15:59 EDT

You know what you need?A queer and his eye. Now where would we find a queer? You know, a queer did our place. A real live one... Lisp, Liza, and everything! ...

Happiest Gay Clip: The Wilson Cruz Interview

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 15:33:25 EDT

Rick & Steve's Evan is West Lahunga's most loveable pill-popping party-boy twink, and its gets even better when you find out that he's voiced by one of the cutest, hardest-working out actors working today, Wilson Cruz! In this interview, Cruz says he was shocked by the brave ballsiness of the Rick & Steve script. And he loves it! Yep, he likes getting "verbal..." Rick & Steve marks Cruz's first time... Doing an animated series, that is. And how fun to think that those slutty bits of dialogue that chirp out of Evan's mouth come from the same sweet star who, as Junito, romanced Ricky on the last two seasons of Noah's Arc; and who first shot to fame playing a sweet and troubled gay teen named Rickie on the landmark angsty series My So-Called Life with Claire Danes. (OMG! Remember the Xmas episode when Ricky was homeless! I'm crying now just thinking about it!) Of course, Cruz has appeared in a zillion gay indie films (yay!) including All Over Me, Johns, Bam Bam and Celeste and Coffee Date, and he even played Michael Alig's boyfriend/victim in the messy Macaulay Culkin-flick Party Monster. Ouch! Cruz has also appeared in mainstream fare, too. He's appeared in Oliver Stone's Nixon and TV shows like Party of Five, ER, Ally McBeal, Monk and Navy NCIS. Wurk! And not so long ago, AfterElton declared Cruz one of the hottest gay men of color on TV. Congrats! And onstage, he played Angel in RENT, and he's popped up on those glossy GLAAD award shows, including this past year when he got to get smoochy with big strapping TV-landscaping stud Eduardo Xol. Standin' there... Smootchin' there! Evan would most definitely approve. ...Also, share a moment with Wilson Cruz, catch his Celebrity Coming Out Story here: ...

This One Goes Out to Evan Martinez

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:59:50 EDT

Ahem, we've got some lyrics for that magical group rendition of "Evan's Song" from Episode 3... Enjoy! "Evan's Song" Music by Robert Lopez & Jeff Marx, Lyrics by Q. Allan Brocka Performed by AIDS AID JUDITH LIGHT: Evan I feel you touching me from heaven I know that what killed you was hate Not guns or a drunk on the interstate CHARO MARTINEZ: My little playing in the cloud Skipping and dancing He singing so loud My little Evan He smiling to me When will we be as free as he? BEN AFFLECK: Evan I�m sad as I was on 9/11 Join me celebrities don�t be nervous Singing this counts as community service COMMUNITY SERVICE CELEBRITIES: Evan we feel you touching us from heaven (You�re in heaven!) We know that what killed you was hate Not guns or a drunk on the interstate ...

What's Mine is Mine

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:38:13 EDT

You can't stopme from doing drugs! I think I can stopyou from doing my drugs! ...

What Would Mel Gibson Do?

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 13:49:30 EDT

A pregnant Dana laments her state... But is breast milk vegan? And what about religion? Will Kirsten get to baptise the kid? Don't forget, you can download this clip to your computer too!...

Vintage Dana...

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 13:09:23 EDT

They only call babies"miracles" because it soundsbetter than "accidents." ...

Download Episode 3 Today!

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 13:02:46 EDT

Episode 3 Recap: Evan in Straight-land

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 12:54:34 EDT

Time for the recap- we've got a lot to cover. With Dana as their daughter-in-law as the only alternative, Steve's parents have finally accepted that Steve is gay. 'Bout time! And thanks to Chastity Bono, Evan was able to escape the hellish straight Lahunga Beach; and Kirsten and Dana have both decided Dana will keep her baby. Onto the mens, Steve's clueless mama was absolutely priceless: "If I can say one thing about hell, it'll look very tasteful" was genius! And on an unrelated note, Timmy, precocious little cokehead that he is, will go down as a classic Rick & Steve character: Why are you such a bitch, mother! We also loved the drab, terrifying straight world, with the straight boys who just say, "Dude...dude...dude..." over and over again. Interesting too that the straight people were outraged about "the gay basher," but paid absolutely no attention to the gay guy himself. A little social commentary in Rick & Steve? Who'da thunk it?...

Episode 4 Sneak Preview!

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:59:16 EDT

Episode 4 is all about the Poos... That's right, the dastardly feline mastermind will have her way with her foes and we get to see it all! Get a sneak peak of the mayhem with a show clip from the upcoming fourth episode! It features Pussy in a musical number! In this little ditty, the cats of West Lahunga turn on a very pregnant Dana, who's quickly learning Pussy's not the cat to cross. Oh, the poor mom-to-be... For once, there is such a thing as too much pussy. TMP? It has a certain ring, no? Download this clip. Get your "Pussy tunes" on the move!...

To Do: Read Kirsten's To Do List

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:35:43 EDT

Superfans that we are, we did some sleuthing (aka digging around in back-alley West Lahunga dumpsters) and found some very interesting personal documents. One happens to be written by Miss Kirsten Kellogg. It's dated July 19th, which happened to be the middle of a very big week for the boyish lipstick lesbo and her exquisitely sour partner, Dana Bernstein... Take a gander, we won't tell a soul. There are more secret documents to be unveiled over the coming weeks, so stay tuned!...

Get Ready for Episode 3!

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 15:59:55 EDT

Kirsten is overjoyed to learn Dana is pregnant with Rick's (and/or Steve's?) baby. Dana? Um, not so much. Miss even considers calling the "Bye Bye Baby" abortions hotline. Meanwhile, Steve's Southern-Baptist parents come to visit West Lahunga (the only place Steve's mom can get a vaginal renewal performed), and they still don't know Steve is gay! And when Chuck decides to stop Evan from taking Chuck's meds recreationally, Evan must fake having HIV and travel to- gasp!- straight Lahunga Beach to get the uppers (and complimentary downers) he needs. ...Tonight's episode should be another rollicking good time! We'll be watching, tonight at 10!...

Straight Allies...

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:18:32 EDT

To find out, in this past week's poll we asked you and while many of you like it when stars like Judith Light speak up for the gays, as far as your prurient little minds go, more of you (42%!) think "straight allies" are just "annoyingly sexy like Gina Gershon or Jake Gyllenhaal." Oh now, really... Don't you people think about anything else? ...

The Best Laid Plans...

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 13:54:25 EDT

You have to plan ahead...As soon as we found out Ebonywas expecting, we started two savingsaccounts. One for college and onefor gender reassignment surgery ...

Rick & Steve & Lorna! At OutFest!

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 14:47:38 EDT

Rick & Steve (and Kirsten & Dana, and Evan--and Steve's Mom!) hit the stage at OutFest (the big queer film fest raging in L.A.) last Thursday as part of a screening that included two episodes of the Rick & Steve show, as well as a "behind-the-scenes" special and a Q&A with the cast and show's creator, Q. Allan Brocka. Also in the mix was showbiz royalty, Lorna Luft (yes, as in Judy Garland's daughter, and Liza Minnelli's sis!), who voices the character of Steve's southern evangelical, vaginal-renewing Mom on the show! Turns out that this gathering of the R&S crew was the biggest number of cast folks ever assembled at once since the show began. You think there was free hooch on hand? The massive mosh of R&S stars: Q. Allan Brocka, Peter Paige (Steve), Lorna Luft (Steve's Mom), Liza Del Mundo (Pussy), Wilson Cruz (Evan), Emily Brooke Hands (Kirsten), Taylor Dooley (Dana) and Will Matthews (Rick) ...

Baby Talk

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:57:38 EDT

Evan's got baby-making envy! He wants to be a "daddy." Should they take down the sling and put up a cradle? Let's not get carried away, eh? Don't forget, you can download this clip to your computer too!...

Hello, Kitty

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:43:50 EDT

Hello there- It's Puss again. I've hijacked the computer for another Hot Pussy selection. So without further ado, today's Hot Pussy is... Hello Kitty.Fame, beauty, wealth, what more can you ask for? She's got it all... a slew of impersonators: And an army of trinkets to be sold for her fiscal gain... But she's not perfect, this I know. Her "Holly Hobby" innocence is just a ruse to distract us from her filthy side. This hot little pussy has 18 stiff nipples tucked away under those dainty bows! And to that, I give a whole and hearty Puuurrrrrrrr! Til next time. xo, Puss...

A Girl's Got Needs

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:11:33 EDT

Negative! This can't be happening. Must have more sperm! Slow down, Lewinsky. ...

Q-Tips: An Interview With Q Allan Brocka

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 16:18:07 EDT

As genius as it is, would you have had the guts to turn in Rick & Steve as your first homework assignment? Well in this interview, Q. Allan Brocka reveals The Happiest Gay Couple was his first film class project during his time at the California Institute. He had a vision of gay stop-motion toys "having sex all over the place," and the rest is history! Brocka grew up in Guam and moved to Washington State with his family as a teen; after film school, he submitted the Rick & Steve short to Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation, where it went on to Outfest L.A. and the New York Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. It took home the Audience Award at both festivals. Between then and Rick & Steve's debut on LOGO, Brocka continued his acclaimed work in film, tackling more dramatic subjects with his two short films, Roberta Loved and Seventy. He then created two popular documentaries, Camp Michael Jackson, about fans and media actually camping outside the courthouse during the MJ trial, and Porno Valley, chronicling the lives of the women of Vivid Girls adult entertainment. Brocka also created Eating Out, a romantic comedy starring American Idol contestant Jim Verraros, and Boy Culture, based on the gay hustler novel by Matthew Rettenmund. Today, he lives in West Hollywood; he also writes a column for The Advocate. Cheers to Q. Allan Brocka! ...

Scooch Over, Padma

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 16:09:57 EDT

Hey, it's Evan. I just have to say, I've been watching A LOT of Top Chef lately, and I freaking love that show!I've been doing a lot of thinking too... thinking about how I need to get some celeb cache, like, stat, so I've decided to put two & two together: I should be a judge on Top Chef! Makes sense, right? So, call me up Bravo biatches! I wanna eat all that yummy food, stare at Padma's scar, and bitch about presentation! For serious, call me. Smooches! ...

The Joys of Parenthood

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 13:12:29 EDT

Having a baby has strengthenedour relationship. I can't evensee our problems anymore. ...

Pussy Hearts Catwoman

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:34:46 EDT

It's Pussy again. Bloggin' again. So you may be shocked to learn that my second Hot Pussy of the Day is- believe it or not- a human. But, oh!, this is not your average beer-guzzling, burger-pounding bipedal rube... No, this one's special! Nevermind Newmar, Forget Pfeiffer, Bury Berry. EARTHA KITT is the only Catwoman that ever was, is, or will be! And clearly "Mother Eartha" still has a fondness for the feline... Rrraaar? Yikes? I'm not sure. 'Til next time-- xo, Puss...

Yankin' on Baloney...

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 14:07:07 EDT

That whole pretending you're sleepy so as not to have sex thing? Hmmm... Rick & Steve deconstruct it all. Looks like Friday night is "game night." Play ball! Download this clip, watch it when you're in the mood....

Don't Touch that Dial

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:40:48 EDT

More lyrics for 'ya. This is Dana's driving anthem. Obviously. "I'm A Lesbian" Music by Meiro Stamm, Lyrics by Q. Allan Brocka Performed by The Lesbohemians I'm a lesbian A miserable, miserable lesbian I'm a lesbian A miserable, miserable lesbian Ooh oh oh oh ooh Ooh oh oh oh yeah I'm a lesbian A miserable, miserable lesbian Not much of a picker-upper, that one. ...

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 13:26:26 EDT

As much as I'd love tostay here and chip away at yourrelationship, I'd rather be porking my 19-year-old boyfriend. Smooches crotches! ...

Rock Out With Chuck & Evan!

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 18:10:21 EDT

Be sure to tune in early and often as Chuck and Evan blog about their fav videos from The Click List: Ultimate Queer Videos & The Click List: Top 10 Videos... respectively. � The Roller Daddy's Pick: "Love Shack" by The B-52's "The year this song came out was the first year I was ever called a troll. I finally felt like I'd arrived in the gay community. I mean, someone noticed me! My favorite things about this video are the random shot of the goat ass, RuPaul's cameo, and of course the hidden penis in front of Fred's nose just before, "tin roof rusted." --> � The Kept Boy's Pick: "Love Today" by Mika "Many many people have asked me, "Evan, what goes on in that pretty little head of yours?" And I just look at them and I pity them. Well, somebody finally figured me out. This is exactly what I see every time I close my eyes." --> ... The dynamic duo will be back next week bloggin' about the Happiest Gay Tunes on the web!...

On "Skanky Housewives"

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 17:09:32 EDT

That's disgusting! Someone might reach in there for cookies! If I was her I'd be dabbin' that fetus on those crow's feet. ...

Buy Episode 2 Today!

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 15:29:49 EDT

Just a friendly reminder, you can download the second episode of Rick & Steve in all its unedited glory from iTunes or Amazon. Or, if you prefer, download from XBox Live Marketplace, BitTorrent or Wal-Mart. You can also pre-order Season 1 on DVD. Be the first on your block to catch all of the juicy Rick & Steve bonus material! Revisit the decadent halls of Gay Men-Zuh, get your Magicians & Wizards on! ...

Recapping Episode 2

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 11:40:33 EDT

So the big cliff-hanger! Rick and Steve's sperm has spilled onto Dana's wife-beater and nether regions... and has perhaps gotten her pregnant (we actually didn't see that one coming). Also, Echinacea won't stop saying, "Bush!" after seeing the hilarious, incoherent Dubya on TV. First off, we were dying after each clip of Ebony and Ivory's lesbian retreat: "My vagina is a vortex from which all life explodes!" and "Crush that two-balled woman-hater!" had us in stitches. We're assuming they're just in denial about Echinacea's first word...? We're also thinking it's more than likely that it'll be Dana who gets preggers; it's going to be great hearing her break that news to Steve. Somehow we doubt his rationale of "this world could use more tops" will satisfy Dana if he is indeed the father....

Episode 3 Sneak Preview!

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 19:05:00 EDT

Chuck's love of weed is matched only by his fondess for daytime television-- now that's a great combination! When Chuck tunes in for some soap opera melodrama and catches little Timmy's cocain fits (lines off the baby), he decides to tighten the reigns on his surplus of drugs... But without Chuck's steady stream of "medicinal" marijuana, how will Evan balance out his diet pills? Pray tell! Meanwhile, Kirsten and Dana recieve some, um, unexpected news about the pregnancy, and Steve's Southern Evangelical 'rents pop by West Lahunga Beach for a visit. Hallelujah? We think not. Watch the third episode of Rick & Steve on July 24th at 10PM to get the 411 on all things West Lahunga! Also, Download this clip!. It's yours to keep......

Happiest Gay Clip: The Alan Cumming Interview

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 16:56:57 EDT

Alan Cumming talks about his unlikely new gig, that of voicing 50-year-old, wheelchair-bound, chicken-chasing, AIDS-surviving Chuck. Who knew playing a dirty old grump was so much fun? Yep, that really is Scottish-born, openly gay actor Alan Cumming lending his voice to that of Rick & Steve's resident meds-popping, differently-abled curmudgeon Chuck. And he's great in the role! And it's just another fun and bizarre chapter in Cumming's already long and loopy showbiz career. Cumming first burst into the media limelight thanks to his Tony-winning turn as the Emcee in the Roundabout Theater's stellar Broadway revival of Kander & Ebb's Cabaret. The show was revamped and slutted up for this landmark production, and Alan's trashy take on the role was one of its high points! From there, Cumming nabbed tons of movie work, playing villains (Josie and the Pussycats, Spy Kids) and otherwise (in X2 he was Nightcrawler; in Eyes Wide Shut, he was a sneering hotel clerk). Alan Cumming as the diabolical Fegan Floop in Spy Kids And in The Anniversary Party, he starred alongside his co-writer and co-director Jennifer Jason Leigh in a drama-filled celeb-picked indie classic (although, playing a straight boy who pops ecstasy and wears baby-tees and sucks lollipops was indeed pushing it). And on The L Word, Cumming popped up as a horny ambisexual Billie, where he annoyed everyone delightfully and eventually got poked with a strap-on by trans character Max. (These kids today!) Given his penchant for sexually-charged and dishy roles, it's no surprise that Cumming signed up to lend his voice to the naughty proceedings of Rick & Steve. "I found it sort of refreshing that this whole sort of gay story would be so dirty and kind of non-PC. I think it's about time; I think we're all a bit too precious." And how much like grumpy old Chuck is Cumming?" "Probably when I'm hungover is where Chuck comes from... And I rarely get to have sex with 19-year-olds." Of course Cumming still maintains a scandalous rep as often as possible. Just recently he hit Page Six when reports that some scenes from his latest film, Suffering Man's Charity (which Cumming directed), were so bloody and S&M-tastic that viewers were fainting and walking out of a test screening. I guess they found the bits with David Boreanaz tied up wearing panties and a bra and getting whipped and bloodied a bit much. There was also the notoriously saucy ad for Cumming's eponymous fragrance line, which featured the star flouncing around a lofty apartment naked, pontificating on sensuous, scenty topics. It's rather, er, over-the-top. But to his credit, Cumming donates a portion of the proceeds of this product line sales to LGBT charities, like Empire State Pride Agenda. In fact, Cumming has been awarded repeatedly for all the fundraising and work he does for LGBT charities, which, of course smells very sweet indeed. And much less scandalously, earlier this year Cumming made headlines when he wed his boyfriend, NYC-based artist/illustrator Grant Shaffer, in a civil union ceremony in the U.K. Awwww... Chances are you'll dig Cumming on Rick & Steve. And stay tuned. He's got more off-color voice-over work coming ahead. In Jackboots on Whitehall (which also features the voice talents of Ewan McGregor, Rosamund Pike, Richard E. Grant and Tom Wilkinson) Cumming will voice none other than Adolf Hitler in the film, which is an animated spoof about what would have happen if the Nazis invaded Scotland back during WWII. See-- just like Chuck, Cumming likes to shake things up....

Happiest Gay Poll Recap!

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 15:28:14 EDT

Looks like Evan's future is gonna involve lots of fine cocktails and gourmet meals-- serving them, that is! According to the results of this past week�s poll, 42% of you are pretty sure that when twink-tastic Evan "grows up" his most likely career path is "Waiter/Waiter." Hmmm... Let's hope those tips keep coming. Better stay cute, Evan! Check, please!...

Rick & Steve Do OutFest!

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:11:44 EDT

Is no city safe? Leapin' labias! Rick & Steve and their crew have left West Lahunga Beach and are whooping it up at OutFest, the big gay film festival, raging right now in Los Angeles! Or, at least their best pal (and creator) Q. Allan Brocka is. And a local news crew tracked him down... You can watch him gab it up about gay films and such right here. ...

Counting Down to Episode 2!

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 13:25:48 EDT

Ready for a second visit to the land of gay plastic minis? There's more couple trouble in the show's second installment: Steve's still not putting out for Rick, so he insists they see a marriage counselor, the very interesting and interested Dr. Proctor. On the advice of the good doctor, Rick & Steve make an extra effort to learn about each other's lives outside of the home. Meanwhile, Dana and Kirsten run into problems when their friends, Ebony and Ivory, ask them to watch their treasured child. Under the ever watchful eye of a special sitter, Baby Echinacea then says her first word, and boy, is it a doozy! Also, a bump in the road will send some sperm where it doesn't belong. Uh-oh... Tune in tonight at 10 to get the lowdown!...

What's in a Name?

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:36:28 EDT

It's down to these two Whose pic do you like better? ASSPOUNDER or QTSTR8A&FJOCK? Wow. One of these could bethe father of our baby! ...

Why Did the Heterosexual Cross the Road?

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:44:59 EDT

Kristen & Dana have had it with gay jokes. They're on the offensive: "What do you get when you cross a straight man and a straight woman? Three kids, a mistress and two divorce lawyers!" Discrimination is fun! Download this clip to your iPod, get your yucks on the move!...

The Truth Hurts...

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:12:42 EDT

Is it me? It's not you, it's having sex with you. ...

Well Said, Miss Kellogg

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:17:07 EDT

Think about it. Conservatives andcrack whores shouldn't be the only people making babies. ...

Now Showing...

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 16:37:53 EDT

Film buff, eh? Peep the films at West Lahunga's famed Craemmle Theater!* width="364" height="276"> In case you couldn't tell by our image, Craemmle is hosting the: THE WEST LAHUNGA BEACHL.B.G.T.I.Q.Q.INTERNATIONALFILM AND VIDEO FESTIVAL *Image may not be of actual Craemmle Theater...

So You Wanna Be a Pop Superstar?

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 10:59:44 EDT

We've got a spankin' new digisode for ya. Watch as Evan discusses his pop-star dreams. Old man Chucky advises his kept boy to visualize what he wants... which doesn't exactly work. But they figure out other ways to keep busy. Obviously. Pass the poppers, it's showtime! Download this clip!. It's all yours......

Better Take Two...

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:41:30 EDT

Oh my God, we're late! Should I take an ephedrine or eat something there? Would you rather be dead or fat? I know, right? I better take two. ...

A Love Song For Three

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:31:55 EDT

We'd thought you'd like reading the lyrics to that fantastic little ditty from Episode 1 about, er, threesomes... Enjoy! "Love Song For Three" Music by Bob Esty, Lyrics by Q. Allan Brocka Love can be so lonely When there's just two of us only All we need is someone to hold We wanna be like Him and him and him Or her and her and her Just like him and her and him Or her and him and her you see Or will you and I end up just two not three It takes three to make a triangle Three to make the number three Three to make, uh, Sixty-nine! Not really. But it's fun to try! We wanna be like Him and him and him Or her and her and her Just like him and her and him Or her and him and her you see Or will I and you end up just two not three...

Hakuna Matata

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 16:55:15 EDT

Pussy here. Just doin' a little bloggin'. So, yeah, my blog's all about hotness. Who's hot, who's stock is soaring on the pussometer, that kinda thing. And let me tell you, there is no better way to kick off my Hot Pussies series... In the feline world, nothing's hotter than The Lion King. Talk about soft porn EYE CANDY! From the sultry prowess of that nasty little kitten, Nala, to that scratchy purr of the ultimate SM Daddy, Scar, I want a heavy petting session with the entire cast of The Lion King! The animated film, not that creepy Broadway fart-fest. Until next time, farewell my babies. xo, Puss...

Join Our Community!

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:52:25 EDT

Want to connect with other Rick & Steve fans? Join our community! Share items, add content to your personal profile, meet Rick & Steve fans across the globe. It's all right here at HappiestGayCouple.com! Forget MySpace, there is a better way... �Build out your profile �Meet like-minded fans �Upload videos and photos �Post comments �Vote for your favorite content �Subscribe to fan feeds �Broadcast your own feed Just follow the "Community" link in the left column to get started... Together, we can make miracles happen. Kinda like these folks. Or not....

Episode 1: On Sale Now!

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:26:57 EDT

Missed the first episode? Loved it so much you just must own it? Don't fret! You can download the series premiere in all its unedited glory from iTunes or Amazon. Or, if you prefer, download from BitTorrent or Wal-Mart. Buy it, watch it, relive the Manjob Circuit Party all over again. Hot. ...

Recapping the Inaugural Episode

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:48:55 EDT

Ahh, the house that love built: Rick & Steve's humble abode... definitely the place to be last night. With Episode 1 in the books, we think it's time for a recap! So what happened last night? What went down in the inaugural episode of the gayest, crudest and most plastic show on the air? Let's see, after inviting the Happiest Gay Gang over for dinner quiche, Rick and Steve proceeded to "daddy" and "piggy" into a cup for Kirsten (Oh, and that Pussy is f-ing freaky!); the lesbians' subterfuge to score sperm from those "greedy homos" failed; and Rick and Steve gave up on attempting a threesome after the mysterious "snap-on" incident. Hmmm. So far, we have to say, our favorite quotes almost all come from Dana: "It's like using dental dams: It's a good idea, but no one does it," was our favorite, but "Let's go home and grout the tub again" was a close second. And with that, Episode 1 came and went, leaving us wanting more! More dammit! We can't wait to see what will come of Rick and Steve's super-hybrid sperm mix. Oh, and who knows what a "Michigan Mop Job" is? Stumped us......

Episode 2 Sneak Preview!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:49:44 EDT

When the Not-So-Happiest Gay Couple strikes out on threesome-recruiting, can couples therapy provide the answer? Find out next Tuesday at 10 PM, when Rick & Steve try to reignite their lethargic libidos. In the meanwhile, enjoy this sneak peak! And for all you mashup artists out there, download the clip, show us watch you got! Then upload your mashups or videos to our Community section!...

E Queeribus Unum!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 17:32:03 EDT

The masses have spoken: You declared your choice for West Lahunga Beach's city motto! The big winner (with 46% of the votes) is "E Queeribus Unum!" Which translates loosely as "From many, comes one big united gay family! Except for those 'questioning' folks� We don't know what their deal is." Ah, democracy... Exercise your right to vote: check out our new poll over in the left column! ...It's about our favorite kept boy!...

Rick & Steve Season Premiere!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 17:21:38 EDT

Get ready to finally meet Rick and Steve, the happiest gay couple in West Lahunga Beach! Well, maybe not the happiest lately - their sex life is fizzling, and Steve is pushing for a threesome. Their best coupled friends, Chuck and Evan, and Kirsten and Dana, are all coming to dinner (the lesbians with baba ghanouj in hand, of course). Kirsten plans to ask Rick to be her sperm donor, but Dana insists on the "turkey baster" method. Not everything goes smoothly, though, as the lesbians of West Lahunga learn they must go to extreme lengths to secure some suitable sperm... Tune in, catch the show tonight at 10 PM!...

Lip Service!

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 16:58:30 EDT

A lot of work goes into giving Rick & Steve those movable potty mouths! Visit Post Supervisor Chris Morris at Cuppa Coffee to see how computers are used to keep the verbal "twinks," and "dykes" flowing! ...

Stereotype This!

Mon, 9 Jul 2007 14:19:13 EDT

Kirsten's worried about being seen as a lesbian stereotype, what with her dykey girlfriend and all. But not to worry... As long as they hate cats, they're fine! Download this clip to your computer!...

Happiest Gay Threesomes?

Fri, 6 Jul 2007 18:16:27 EDT

So who would Rick & Steve do in a three-way? Elijah Wood? Schwarzenegger? David Beckham? Maybe true love means having to pretend you're with someone else... Speaking of threesomes, now you can bring Rick & Steve home with you! Download this clip to your computer!...

Download Episode 1 Today!

Fri, 6 Jul 2007 18:10:57 EDT

Hey Fans! Be the first to watch the Rick & Steve series premiere! Download from iTunes or Amazon, or take the little guys home with an order from BitTorrent or Wal-Mart!...

Fab Freebie: Pussy Wallpaper!

Fri, 6 Jul 2007 17:09:53 EDT

...meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow... You know we've got Pussy wallpapers too... Viva la Poos! Download Pussy's wallpaper in three sizes-- small, medium, or large!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Pussy!

Fri, 6 Jul 2007 16:50:00 EDT

Pussy is Rick and Steve's omniscient, egotistical, selfish, and very cruel pet cat who sometimes speaks. Age: Beyond measure Occupation: Housecat Interests: Whole Milk Turn-ons: Heavy Petting Idols: Herself Favorite Expression: Purrrrrrrr... Pussy insists that she's one-eighth tigress. She has yet to meet a human who could outsmart her. She puts up with their ignorance only because they pet her, and self-petting is so unsatisfying. And hey, at least they're fags, so she's guaranteed a clean, sensibly decorated domicile. Everyday is a weekend for Pussy. QUOTABLE: "Meow." PHYSICAL: A small Siamese cat, moving head and tail Want some more digital Pussy? Check her out on Catster!...

Fab Freebie: Chuck & Evan Wallpapers!

Thu, 5 Jul 2007 13:31:20 EDT

Does your desktop need a few uppers? Chuck and Evan wallpapers should give you your fix! Chuck's wallpaper comes in three sizes-- small, medium, and large! Download The Kept Boy's wallpaper too! It comes in small, medium, and large....

Virtual West Lahungans Unite!

Tue, 3 Jul 2007 18:25:10 EDT

Attention Superfans! We're pleased to invite you to join the Happiest Gay Community on the web! That's right, now you can connect with other Rick & Steve fans, queue up your Rick & Steve feed and broadcast your fave Rick & Steve content... all within the friendly confines of happiestgaycouple.com! �Build out your profile �Meet like-minded fans �Upload videos and photos �Post comments �Vote for your favorite content �Subscribe to fan feeds �Broadcast your own feed Just follow the "Community" link in the left column and you're off!...

Fab Freebie: Evan & Chuck IM Icons!

Tue, 3 Jul 2007 13:23:43 EDT

Don't ask questions, just keep the IM fun flowing with Evan and Chuck icons! ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Chuck!

Mon, 2 Jul 2007 12:59:22 EDT

Chuck (the AIDS survivor) Chuck is Steve's HIV positive, angry, foul-mouthed, and pessimistic wheelchair-wielding best friend. Age: 50 Occupation: Full-time survivor Interests: Needle Sharing, Unprotected Group Sex- Christ, just kidding. I like parks and nature, okay?! Turn-ons: Chicken Idols: Greg Louganis, Rock Hudson, old movie stars Favorite Expression: My AIDS is acting up something fierce. Chuck Masters was raised far before anyone can remember. His use of a wheelchair is only loosely connected to his HIV status: on the day he first tested positive, he was run over by a car in the parking lot while leaving the AIDS clinic. He has since been paralyzed from the left testicle down. Chuck has been, seen, and done absolutely everything- and he probably did you, back when you were better looking. Chuck and Steve volunteer together and their friendship grew from his violent crush on Steve, but he'd never admit to it. Chuck shows his love through ridicule and torment, but at the root every one of his harsh statements is truth: fat, balding, pock-marked truth. Chuck's ideal weekend would be spent on a planet where every being's sole purpose was to cause him pleasure. QUOTABLE: "Don't be so HIV negative!" PHYSICAL: In a wheelchair, moustache, gray/salt & pepper hair, loose button up shirts and slacks Ahem, the Roller Daddy's on ManHunt... Yep, we went there....

Welcome Wagon: Meet Evan!

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:47:07 EDT

Evan Martinez (the kept boy) Evan is Chuck's teenage, diet pill-addicted, pot smoking, air-headed, but dedicated and utterly codependent boyfriend. Age: 19 Occupation: Student (i.e. houseboy) Interests: Dancing, Sex, Diet Pills, Medicinal Marijuana, Philosophy Turn-ons: Complete and utter dependence, Codependence Idols: Hello? Madonna & Gwen Stefani- who else? Favorite Expression: You're skinnyfat. Since Evan Martinez is way younger than old trolls like you, he can't really relate to anything you might have to say because it was way before his time, but he acts really really mature for his age, so there. Seriously though, Evan doesn't usually like other people his age because they're so immature. He feels more comfortable with older people because they're mature like him, plus they're totally older, so that always makes him, like, the younger one. Evan can name any club anthem in less than 2 seconds. He moved in with Chuck at the age of 15 and still has a close (albeit sometimes catty) relationship with his single mother, who is only 14 years older than him. Evan's ideal weekend would be spent awake. QUOTABLE: "Some people don't give me enough credit for how smart I-- Ohmygod! I loooove this song!" PHYSICAL: very very young, latino, black hair, super trendy club clothes, cap Your favorite Kept Boy is totally friendable on Downelink!...

For the Homo on the Go...

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:39:25 EDT

Attention texters of the world! Happiest Gay Clips are mobile! Text RICK to 80800 to get a free Rick & Steve clip sent to your phone!...

Fab Freebie: Kirsten & Dana Wallpapers!

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 14:40:54 EDT

Dana and Kirsten wallpaper is here! Let the girls give your desktop some much-needed maintenance. Download Kirsten's wallpaper in three sizes-- small, medium, and large! Or download Dana's wallpaper! It comes in small, medium, and large too!...

Happiest Gay Clip: Dinner at Rick & Steve's!

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:41:35 EDT

Here's a little Rick & Steve tease from Episode 1. The guys are hosting a dinner party for their West Lahunga friends. The lesbians are bringing the baba ghanouj, the quiche is in the microwave, but the evening does not go too smoothly... Like what you see? Download the clip! It's all yours......

Fab Freebie: Kirsten & Dana IM Icons!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 17:33:25 EDT

Grab new Kirsten and Dana IM Icons! Let the uber-witty Jewish American Bulldyke do your trash-talkin' for you: Dana will let your friends know, "My icon could kick your icon's ass!" Sweet. ...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Dana!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:26:44 EDT

Dana Bernstein (the acerbic bulldyke) Kirsten's misanthropic, cynical, and very butch wife- with all the good insults. Age: 32 Occupation: Habitat for Humanity Forewoman Interests: Kick-boxing, Plumbing, Electricity Turn-ons: Double-headed Dildos, Monogamy Idols: Any folk singer who was ever a rape survivor Favorite Expression: Dental Damnit! Dana Bernstein constantly got in trouble in high school for making her teachers cry. She tested smartest in the state and upped their ratings so they couldn't throw her out. Her razor-sharp tongue and wry observations have made many enemies for her, but they also keep the most annoying elements of mankind (namely man) out of her life. Dana is in touch with her Jewish heritage, but it's a political relationship, not a spiritual one. Despite her angry veneer, her hope is to make this world an all-out celebration of diversity and bully objectors into doing the same thing. Dana often wears sunglasses because she has sensitive retinas, but she'd rather see the world through gray-tinted glasses anyway. Dana's ideal weekend starts with putting on a CD by her favorite band, the Lesbohemians, burning some incense, and adding a fourth garage to their house. QUOTABLE: "It's not that I hate men, it's just that... oh screw it, I hate men." PHYSICAL: brown hair, mullet, muscle shirt, grungy clothes, partial to sunglasses, Birkenstocks, fannypacks, headbands and other unsightly paraphernalia Pssst! Dana's on OurChart too! Friend the Dana, The Jewish American Bulldyke!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Kirsten!

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:10:01 EDT

Kirsten Kellogg (the boyish lipstick lesbo) Kirsten is Rick's best friend, a spunky, creative, naive and pixie-like lipstick lesbian. Age: 28 Occupation: Manager of Chick Sticks, a Lesbian Sextoy Boutique and Publisher of her own 'Zine Interests: Politics, Painting, Poetry, Hemp, Making this world a better place Turn-ons: Toys, Body piercings Idols: Bjork, Mother Theresa Favorite Expression: Must have more sperm. At birth, Kirsten Kellogg was mistaken for a little boy for a full 13 minutes. 28 years later, this mistake is still made (often by trolls loaded with K and Viagra). She hopes to make a living from her art some day, it's been really promising, she's had shows in three espresso shops. She met Dana three years ago when their U-Hauls collided at a busy intersection. They moved in together 27 minutes later. Kirsten's naive optimism and passionate philanthropy make her both a dependable friend and an easy target. While you can always count on her to lend a hand, her penchant for neurosis sometimes renders her useless. Kirsten's ideal weekend is spent exploring her vagina and reading self-help books. QUOTABLE: "I guess you could say I'm the nymph in nympho." PHYSICAL: boyish, brown hair, lipstick, eyelashes, pixie cut, overalls, boyish skater clothes, tennis shoes Want to know Kirsten's dirty pleasures? What superpower she'd like to have? Get the goods at Miss Kellogg's OurChart profile!...

Rick & Steve on Wikipedia!

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 17:13:53 EDT

Calling all superfans: Rick & Steve have a Wikipedia page! If you've got the scoop on Rick & Steve, put your web-skills to the test on Wikipedia. Drop some wiki-knowledge!...

Fab Freebie: Rick & Steve Wallpapers!

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 12:13:48 EDT

Make Rick & Steve's world your world. Download Rick & Steve wallpapers! Get in where you fit in: Rick's wallpaper comes in three three sizes-- small, medium, and large! ...Steve's comes in small, medium, and large too!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Steve!

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 14:52:22 EDT

Steve Ball (the versatile top) Steve is Rick's husband, a gym bunny and complete hottie, who's not very bright but makes a lot of money off his charm by selling shoddy real estate. Age: 33 Occupation: Real Estate Broker Interests: Weight Lifting, Model Cars, Actual Cars, Monster Trucks Turn-ons: Three-ways, Not into public displays of affection- but hot sex in parks is a turn on Idols: Marky Mark, Al Gore, John Kerry Favorite Expression: Absolut hung! Steve Ball is the oldest of 8 boys in a conservative Southern Evangelical family. He dropped out of high school and turned down a shot-put scholarship to follow a lover to Europe, where he was promptly dumped. Real estate never interested him, but owning stuff did, and this made him lots of money... And money ensured he'd have lots of tight asses to plow well into his old age. Steve isn't very bright, but he's really hot, and that's what matters. His patience and temper are short but he's sincere and always acts with the best of intentions. He's dedicated and determined, which allows him to spend two hours a day at the gym. His love for Rick is unquestionable, but his need for spicing up their sex life grows exponentially with each passing weekend. Steve's ideal weekend starts with beers at Club Manjob on Friday, vodka-creatines at Yellow Fever on Saturday, then Sunday at the gym followed by something kinky with Rick. QUOTABLE: "With a daily regiment of protein, weight lifting, yoga, and a carb-free diet, oh and lots of chicken breasts, and of course cardio too, anyone can have a hot hard bod." PHYSICAL: brown hair, sideburns, goatee (sometimes), muscular, sporty casual dresser For the down and dirty on Steve, check out his MySpace profile!...

Fab Freebie: Rick & Steve IM Icons!

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 19:55:59 EDT

Keep your chat happy & gay with Rick & Steve IM Icons! Grab 'em today!...

Welcome Wagon: Meet Rick!

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 19:34:35 EDT

Rick Brocka, Jr. (the insatiable bottom) Rick is Steve's husband: a cute, trendy, highly intelligent, but irrationally insecure Filipino-American obsessed with cleanliness and science fiction. Age: 30 Occupation: Homemaker, Computer Programmer Interests: Independent Films, Gardening, Computer Games Turn-ons: Mutual Masturbation, Size Idols: Martha Stewart, Porn Star Dylan Ram-Brick Favorite Expression: Grooviola! Rick Brocka grew up the spoiled only child in a wholesome little Filipino-American family. His doting mother has always encouraged his homo tendencies and is rather upset that he's not nearly as flamboyant as his rich Uncle Charlie. Rick is a bit on the prissy side and has always felt that Steve was the hotter one in the relationship. That's because it's true. He's anal retentive, obsessive compulsive, a member of Gay Men-zuh, and a hopeless Trekkie. He's up on latest computer gaming releases and battling a three-year addiction to the fantasy card game Magicians And Wizards. He constantly struggles with the love/hate dichotomy of his symbiotic relationship with local rice queens. Rick's ideal weekend would be spent at home with his lover, a pile of old movies (and a Falcon porno), a home-cooked meal, and lots of cleaning supplies. QUOTABLE:"I don't know about three-ways, I always feel like I'm going to be the one voted off the island." PHYSICAL: Filipino features, dark hair, dark eyes, slim, effete, smart, trendy semi formal dresser Make friends with Rick on MySpace and be sure to check back early and often for more Welcome Wagons! We'll be giving you the 411 on new characters from here on out!...

Rock the Vote!

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:49:42 EDT

Hey Neighbors! Don't forget to vote in our Weekly Poll (it's over in the left column). You'll get to sound off on what's what in West Lahunga Beach, and what's making your week the most gay-tastic ever! And be sure to check in every Tuesday for poll results, and an cute new poll question! You know you've got an opinion, so show it off!...

Welcome Wagon: Your Guide to West Lahunga Beach!

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 17:48:31 EDT

Welcome to the gayest of gay ghettoes, West Lahunga Beach, a trendy neighborhood with its own time zone (when you leave you have to set your watch to five minutes ago). This is where Rick and Steve make their fabulously decorated double-income-no-children home. The insults fly, nothing goes unspoken, and the ugly, bitter truth about domestic bliss never looked so cute. Rick and Steve have been LTRing it for seven years�that means long-term relationship (many gays have only heard of the term). They live with their sometimes magical pussycat, Pussy, in a gorgeous little two bedroom that Steve virtually stole off the market. They have been just been asked by Kirsten and Dana for a sperm donation. Kirsten and her grumpy wife Dana have cohabitated for three long, drama-filled but satisfying, years. Kirsten's lifelong friend, Rick, is her first choice to father their child. The only catch is, Kirsten's wife and Rick's husband are avowed mortal enemies. It started one day when Steve had an accident with Dana's hair (who knew patchouli oil was so flammable?). Steve's best friend and bad influence is Chuck, a bitter old queen who is outspoken, HIV positive, and uses a wheelchair. Chuck's partner of four years is Evan, a feisty 19 year-old club kid who never sleeps. Together, they're the "other couple" that Rick and Steve do couple things with, like gay cruises, potlucks, and of course, White Parties. Despite their differences, these three couples are there for each other through ugly and uglier. They're chosen family and though they may bicker and bite and cheat and assassinate character and occasionally attempt manslaughter, at the end of the day (sometimes that's 8AM), they're still family. This makes surviving in the cute, plastic, gay, and unforgiving world of West Lahunga Beach a little bit easier....

Rick & Steve's Happiest Gay Website Launch!

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 17:21:57 EDT

Hey everybody! Rick & Steve's super-fun, extra-gay new website, HappiestGayCouple.com is up and running! So get ready: Over the next few months, you can get updates on all things Rick & Steve right here. To start, check out the show's trailer! ...