Oh, it was ugly. I hadn’t been out doing karaoke in a few months, so when my gal-pal Andrea asked me to go to sing, I decided to try a song I’d never sung before – you know that rather drippy but beautiful Bonnie Raitt ballad, “I Can’t Make You Love Me?”

It’s a fabulous song when it’s done well. But for whatever reason, I wasn’t on my game…at least not for that song. When I got up to sing, I immediately hit the wrong note, and then realized that I was probably way off key for the first few verses. Yikes!

Now, if you’ve ever done karaoke, you know that you are on the stage, folks are watching, and you have the mic in your hand. Sort of one of those sink or swim moments. Time seems to slow down when you think you are sucking! And this is just what it can feel like in business when you step up and step out to try new and different things.

You are probably wondering what the heck my botched Bonnie Raitt song has to do with handling the challenges you encounter as a business owner. Well, if you’ve read any of my stuff, you know that I’m a big lover of metaphors. And since singing has very many parallels to being a successful business owner, I thought I’d write about that today.

Just like karaoke, being a business owner has lots of places where you can shine….or sink. Places you need to take more risks, go well beyond your comfort zone, and ultimately step up and deliver what you offer to your audience. You get to choose. You can try something new and slither back, never risking again, or you can build those ‘mental muscles’ you need to keep pushing yourself to push your envelope.

In business, karaoke, and life, you need to create a mindset for success. Here are my top 3 ways to do that:

1. Take risks and try new things. It’s all about courage…in business and on the stage. Instead of doing the tried and true songs, I went outside of my comfort zone because I always have a desire to stretch myself. And sometimes, that means I sorta suck at first! But it’s a necessary part of the growth curve.

Do you do that in your business? Are you looking for ways to expand your product offerings or create fresh content? Know that if you don’t grow, you become obsolete. It’s that simple. If I gave you the coaching assignment of coming up with three new ways folks could get to work with you, could you do it? Brainstorm that one because it’s a huge growth opportunity. Especially now…quit playing it safe!

But what’s going to get you may be that little gremlin/perfectionist in your head. When I first was going to the karaoke bar years ago, there was one man who technically had a fabulous voice. But he always sang the same song, wore a hat (to hide I’m thinking) and it was clear he was not about rocking the house with a new number!

The parallel here is that so may be one of those wonderfully talented people who has your best ideas still percolating or in some folder somewhere because it’s ‘not quite good enough.’ Your task then is to battle the voices that have you keep your new work from getting out in the world. You can use EFT, you can have a dialogue with that perfectionist part, or you can just make the deal that you will come back and revise, edit, re-work it, but you have to get new things in the market! (By the way, if you are looking for some tools to battle that crazy perfectionist in your head, my Business Mindset Toolkit is the perfect solution for that.

2. Observe how you are doing and ‘being.’ Have you ever had moments when it feels like time stands still and you seem to be watching yourself go through life? That’s what it was like for me during the first minute of the song. I was just praying the song would end, looking around the room for validation, and trust me…not really enjoying it.

In business, do you have a way to be able to track or measure how “on your game” you are? Do you take time regularly to ask yourself how you are doing? Have you created trusted advisors or mastermind partners who are sharing their feedback with you? Are your customers invited to give you input so you can tweak and improve your performance?

Now one mindset problem we bump into here is that if you are like most folks, you may not be objective. You have heard me talk about that “Brilliance living in your Blind Spot” problem, right? Which means that it’s imperative to get outside feedback because we often can’t see our gifts, our strengths, and tend to minimize our successes. That’s why I created my free eBook which helps you get your brilliance out of the blind spot and in the world.

Heck, it’s normal to be a bit self-conscious when you are stretching or doing something new. But if you never get in the game, beat the crap out of yourself for any mistakes, and keep your best stuff hidden because you are ‘tweaking it,’ no one will get to see you grow!

3. Correct by being connected. After a few moments of really being uncomfortable, I remembered that I know how to sing, so I just willed myself to get out of my head, and into my body. In my head was all the negative chatter, which was making me crazy! When I finally said to myself, “shut up and sing,” I was able to relax, and allow the music to come through me, with much better results. The audience applauded, I was happier, and Bonnie would have been proud!

Now let’s look at the application to your business. You have to try new things to stay fresh. You are going to fail or at the very least, mess up a bit. Things will break down, and people sometimes won’t love what you do. That’s just the reality when you are constantly pushing the edge of your comfort zone as you continue to grow and expand what you do and who you are.

The trick is being able to self-soothe.

A successful mindset is one where you can observe yourself but not get caught up in whatever is going on. It’s about recalibrating constantly and staying focused on your goal. You have probably heard that an airplane is off course 97% of the time, but the auto-pilot is constantly correcting. The plane always lands at exactly the correct destination, but wouldn’t if it weren’t for the corrections along the way. I believe that the true measure of success is in how you recover from the mini break-downs.

What can you connect to as a way to stay grounded? For most of my business owner clients it’s the “Big Why” as I call it. If you can stand in the place of being connected to why you are in business and why you serve the people you serve, handling the little bumps in the road is easier. You can also connect to your spirituality as a way to remind you of what’s important in your life. And finally, connect with your clients. Pull out those testimonials; remember those stories of the times you made a huge difference in someone else’s life. This is the fuel that will keep you going. So when you are super self-conscious, remember…it’s not about YOU! Get out of your head and focus on the gifts you were given and the desire to serve. That, plus a bit of gratitude will shift you every time, I guarantee it.

(By the way, if you like the karaoke metaphor you can read a blog post from five years ago when I first started singing that is pretty funny and quite relevant. You can read it here.)

So my friends sing your heart out in whatever way you do. Just make the commitment to keep playing a bigger game because we need your gifts in the world!

It should be so simple……

We know what to do.

It’s not rocket science.

There is a ton of free information about how to do it.

But very often we don’t, or can’t…at least not effectively.

I’m talking about Marketing here. But not the tactical parts….the “I can own my stuff” or mindset part. I call that the Inner Marketing piece.

Because our mindset interferes with our marketing. It’s as simple as that.

Let me share a story with you. This is a true story of a friend of mine who for the sake of anonymity is a service provider. She’s got a heart of gold, is super talented, very spiritual, and makes almost 6 figures. She has big goals for herself and her business. But she also works seven days a week, very often Christmas and every holiday, and has a business model that if she doesn’t work, won’t get paid.

While she loves her business she’s working at trading dollars-for-hours, scrambles to get clients, and is at risk of major burn out.

Because I love my friend and want to help her get past this stuck place, I said to her: “Hey…let me help you. Why not first raise your rates?”

“I couldn’t do that, what if my existing clients got mad? And in this economy no new ones will pay a higher fee.”

OK I say, “Well then how about you create a boot camp because there’s a huge need and you could serve a large number of people quickly.”

“No, that won’t work because other people in my industry are already doing that.”

I know (still working the idea machine for my seemingly stubborn friend) “how about if you created DVD’s because you are so good at what you do and this way your time will be leveraged.”

“What, me get in front of the camera? I’m not comfortable with that.”

So my suggestions of owning your value and leveraging your time and talent got shot down because this very driven professional had mindset blocks that basically kick her butt and keep her hostage to staying in the box she’s in. And it breaks my heart because I see it every day.

We all have these to some degree. I know I have wrestled with these demons in my business and if you are like most people and haven’t yet gotten the success or money that you desire, it would behoove you to shift your focus AWAY from “I just need to do more marketing” and move it to “I absolutely am willing to commit to doing the work on ME to discover and release any blocks that would prevent me from moving forward.”

Here’s the thing….marketing and the concept of this is SEXY! Every day entrepreneurs are waking up planning on how to market better. But how many of those people then take it to the next level of questioning where they ask themselves, “Who do I have to become to make this marketing work?” The numbers drop significantly at this point! Doing the mindset work isn’t necessarily like getting a root canal, but it can be hard at times. Liberating yes, but it takes courage.

So if you have ever felt discouraged because you have bought the blueprints, paid for the mentoring, purchased more than your share of info-products and still can’t seem to make it work, my goal is to show you that there is a way to make all the pieces fit together. But you have to be willing to do the work on the INSIDE to have your business become one you’d love….and be profitable.

Yes, maybe it’s not just that you are marketing incorrectly….maybe it’s your mindset that is causing the breakdowns. I shouldn’t use the word ‘maybe’ because it’s more likely than not that if you are not having the results you desire, that’s a huge part of the problem.

So how do you know you have some mindset blocks? Answer the questions below to see if even some things you never would have connected as being related to your business may be part of why you are not seeing the level of success you desire.

Undercharging

Do you feel guilty for charging the fees you do?
Would you like to raise your rates but can’t?
Are your clients shocked at how low your rates are?
Do you sometimes resent your clients because you know you should be getting more $ for the work you are doing?
Are your expenses climbing but your income declining?

Chronic over-giving

Do you feel you have to give more than you receive?
Are you always the one jumping in to help?
Is letting others help you a bit of a challenge?
Do you feel guilty if you get something first, before you give?

Undervaluing your skills or worth

Do you have a hard time thinking of yourself as an expert?
Do you feel like asking others for support is “bothering” them?
Are there people in your life who see your brilliance more than you do?
Do you take for granted the work you do because it comes so easy?
Do you ever doubt if you aren’t quite ‘good enough’ in some ways?

Sabotaging patterns

Do you find yourself procrastinating at times?
Are opportunities falling through the cracks?
Is there clutter and chaos in your life that slows you down?
Do you experience high and lows?
When a really good thing happens, do you then experience a breakdown sometimes?

So you see yourself in some of these items?

The place to start is to be committed to doing whatever it takes to become the person your business needs you to be. Imagine that your little business is just sitting there waiting for you to step into your greatness so it can grow and flourish. It’s like its job is to call forth in you more of your powerful self. (Crazy? I think not!)

The places where we break down are really the opportunities we have to grow and transcend the limitations that hold us back. But our tendency is to run from these cuz they are not pretty and sure don’t feel good at times!

Step 1 is to decide to face whatever you need to.
Step 2 is to make an honest assessment of what’s the block.
Step 3 is to be fearless about seeing where it comes up and why.
Step 4 is to see the gift in this.
Step 5 is to begin to lean in to dissolve the hold it has on you.
Step 6 is to make new choices and take different actions.
Step 7 is to repeat over and over and over!

But the biggest step of all? Probably would be to get a trusted guide who can walk you through the process because frankly most of us don’t want to and subsequently can’t see these things in ourselves. That’s why my clients are willing to fly in to Phoenix for a VIP day with me because they are sick of the holes in their lives and business that the mindset blocks cause.

My hope is that you’ll be all about changing from the inside out. If you are ready to partner with me for more support, let’s set up a time to chat about it because I hold a high vision for you and your business and want to see you get there.

This is a very personal story, but in it are some powerful truths for running your business.

Well that was pretty weird. Here I was 7 days before Christmas sitting in an emergency room being told that I needed to have my gall bladder out and would be admitted to the hospital for a surgery the next day. Maybe some people are quite stoic and super-troopers when it comes to these sorts of things, but trust me….I’m not! I kept thinking of all the things I still needed to get done. Clients to see, gifts to be wrapped, presents still to buy, and shopping for Christmas Eve dinner. And who knew what kind of shape I’d be in for the big holiday post-surgery.

Yikes. This one was a bit tough to swallow.

But in that moment I didn’t think I had a choice, so said yes to getting admitted and was immediately wheeled up to my room. No food, no liquid, and no other option that I knew of.

Luckily while in the ER I had my smart phone, a good friend, a great VA, and GOTOMYPC on my computer so my assistant could start clearing out my clients for the next few days. (Lesson – always have a team to support you and technology that allows for that.)

So sitting up in that hospital room, alone, scared, starving, and sorta freaking out I did what I knew to do to make sense of what was about to happen to me.

You know the stuff in your life or business that you just don’t want? Those not so pretty or very sucky things that slow you down, derail you, or just cause problems? As hard as we try, we will all have our share of these in our lives. As I was in the hospital bed, what became very clear was that I had to first accept and surrender to the situation, even if I wasn’t happy about it.

Maybe there are things you are dealing with that you are fighting. I see clients every day handling ‘life stuff’ that does drain their energy. But instead of waving the white flag and admitting that it’s causing some problems, they merrily go along and then beat themselves up for being exhausted, not on their “A” game, and a bit overwhelmed or distracted. So “Business Lesson #1 from the gall bladder is just that….if you have something ‘up’ for you, don’t deny it. Actually bow to it. Honor it. And understand the impact it’s having on you at this time. It’s in resisting that we waste more energy. Think of trying to hold 8 beach balls under water. Imagine how hard that would be. Yet in our lives we have things that we are trying too hard to manage, control, and NOT experience. Sometimes you just have to surrender and allow what is to be.

After I got okay that I’d be undergoing the knife the next day, I then moved into research. “What the heck does this mean” in terms of the symbolism was my question. Part of me just wanted to blame the gall stones on a high fat diet! But that level of looking at the problem would not have allowed me to transform anything. Maybe there were some elements of my consciousness that were not allowing the ‘sweetness of life’ in. Or perhaps there was something else in my energy I wasn’t looking at. I was faced with seeing some things that I didn’t necessarily like. So I began doing the deep diving into discovery. Here’s how I shifted it and where “Business Lesson #2 from the gall bladder” comes in. Since I thought that the gall bladder would be taken out the next day, I decided to allow every hurt, every disappointment, and all things crappy that I have experienced in my life or business to just be ‘housed.’ in my gall bladder.   I literally imagined that when the gall bladder was taken out, the energy of those less than desirable things and feelings would be gone.

This got me thinking that at the end of the year we need some sort of a ritual. You see, we are ‘meaning-making’ creatures. That’s lesson #2 – to make meaning out of what’s not working. The business application here is that I’d encourage you to review your year. What worked? What didn’t? What gave you joy? What caused you pain? What lessons do you not want to repeat? All those things should be written down and then released. This is where you can really honor the learning. If you don’t do this piece of it, you are very likely to repeat patterns and old habits that didn’t serve you. Take the time to do this inventory work, learn what you need to, and let it go. (Hopefully without surgery!)

Step three in my late night hospital experience was to call a prayer line. Maybe this isn’t for everyone, but I needed to be grounded in a different Truth than I was able to access when I was kinda in shock about having surgery the next day. I don’t remember all that was said, but I do remember these words… “You are ALIGNED with health and healing.” That instantly shifted me from a scared patient to a person who knew that I could turn this around in a powerful way. So “Business Lesson #3 from the gall bladder” would be to align with what you want to create and NOT with what you don’t want.

This can be tricky when what you are seeing are things you don’t like! Lose a few clients, have some prospects tell you they can’t afford to work with you, and it’s easy to get aligned with lack, fear, and doubt. The secret is to call on something higher. This can be a spiritual understanding of your Divine Purpose. It could be ‘borrowing’ a coach’s belief that you are on the right track and can make your business work. Or it could be surrounding yourself with literature and positive stories of others’ success. However you do it, just make sure that you “Choose Higher” when it comes to the vision you have for your life and business.

After surrendering, creating meaning, praying and aligning myself with a greater truth, I actually became really calm. (Again, I’m a total wimp, so the level of calm surprised me!)

This is where “Business Lesson #4 from the gall bladder” comes in.

I may have gotten a few hours of sleep, and then the surgeon came in the next morning. I fully expected to be instructed about what would happen in surgery, but instead, HE LET ME GO HOME! I was no longer in pain and had no fever, so he told me that in his opinion I’d likely need surgery some point down the road, but it was now my choice if I wanted to have it done or not. No longer was it an emergency. Now we were looking at an elective procedure.

This to me was beyond belief. So lesson #4 is to expect the unexpected and look for the miracle. I don’t have much experience being a pre-surgery patient, but I’d imagine that usually if they have you in a bed, they’d do surgery! But that wasn’t the case so now I get to use natural medicine and diet and exercise to correct my unhappy little gall bladder. (I really feel like I got a Christmas miracle with this one!)

Now let’s relate it to your business. How many times have you had something you could have never predicted come up and ‘gift’ you with a better result? Maybe the perfect client was at an event you didn’t think you’d go to, and so you ended up signing them up on the spot. Or money came your way that was unexpected.

Imagine if you knew in your bones that the Universe is conspiring to support you? What would it be like if you saw EVERYTHING that happened to you as a gift and a blessing and something designed to take you to the next highest version of yourself? If you had that as a foundation, things would be easier, wouldn’t they? No sweating the small stuff, right? Going with the flow, right? Living in gratitude, right?

That’s my New Year’s wish for you. That you begin to see that it’s all working out for your good. Even when it seems like it’s not! You are being guided to the next right thing and sometimes even if those may look or feel kinda scary, just go with it because it’s all working out in the most amazing way possible.

Thanks for reading. Know I’m here for you, holding the truth of your greatness…..

Wow, it’s hard to believe that next week I’ll be adding another year to my age!

But as they say, “I’m getting better….not older.” ☺

And one of the joys in my life today is in teaching, serving, and really supporting my beautiful entrepreneurial community in having businesses that rock.

So this birthday I’m giving YOU a gift.

My treat is to offer a free no-holds-barred “Ask Therese” call where you can come on the line and ask any business related or mindset related questions. More than likely I’ll be able to help you have that shift or breakthrough that will be better than a super duper hot fudge brownie sundae.

(Ok, nothing is better than that at birthday time, but I bet getting to listen in to folks getting coached live will be pretty darn close!)

Since my actual birthday is Tuesday, I will be indulging in some sweet self-care, so our call will be on Wednesday, January 11 at 10am PT/1pm ET.

Here’s how it’s going to work…

Sign up here and be thinking of what business challenge or question you want to bring. I’m booking out 90 minutes so there will be time to get to as many questions as I can.

There will be a nice mix of live coaching and me answering questions since not everyone wants to get the ‘hot seat experience!’  If you want your question answered on the line, add it to the question box after you register so I can prepare the answer ahead of time.  And if you want a chance for the hot seats, let me know that as well.

And yes, if you sign up and can’t attend you will get the recording but its way cooler to be on the call live.

Now I’m not going to give you all 53 reasons why you want to attend this call….(yup, that’s how old I am) but how about if we list a few:

	You will have fun and learn new things
	You will get a chance to interact with other like-minded, very cool folks
	You’ll get to listen to some unscripted, real life coaching where you’ll also benefit from the solutions presented
	You like ‘virtual brownies’ and birthday celebrations
	You have wanted to work with me for a while but haven’t had the chance yet

So jump on the birthday train! I can’t wait to spend time with you on January 11.

Here’s that link to sign up again.

Peace and blessings to you!

By the way, here’s a pic from when I was just 5.

Check out these crazy bangs! I’m betting I cut them myself back in the day.

As we end one year and begin another, you may be making resolutions and spending time setting new goals and plans for life and business. But what if you are doing it in a way that isn’t the most effective?

Let me ask you a question……

Where do your goals come from?

Do they originate from you, or from something bigger than you?

Interesting question, isn’t it.

In fact, most people sit down and create new goals from the place of what they think they can achieve, based on their past track record of success.

But what if you ‘caught’ goals from the Highest Part of you? Or could have access to know what your Soul really is here to do.
Imagine discovering what’s designed for you instead of trying to build from what you already know.

Today I want to share a 7 minute audio I recorded and use at the start of all my programs.
This is the Visioning Process which was created by Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith.

It’s a series of 5 questions you ask yourself to allow the vision to emerge.

Use these questions to get clear on your next years’ goals and vision for your life.

But let me warn you….

You may be surprised at what you find! Because again, we often set goals from what we THINK we can achieve, but that Highest Part in ourselves knows so much more about what we can really do.

Hoping you catch something amazing and step into that grand and juicy vision for your life and business.

Here’s that link to listen in.

http://tnskelly.audioacrobat.com/download/ThereseSkellyLifeVisioning.mp3

And I’d love to hear what you get in the process, so do feel free to email me and let me know, or go ahead and put it in the comments section below.

Blessings for a wonderful New Year.

Imagine you have a gorgeous new Lexus siting in your drive way….but it has no gas in it. Or that Santa brings one of the new Mac books….but it’s missing the vowel keys.

The point here is that these things are great, but without some of the missing pieces (like gas and the right keys) they are almost useless.

Sadly, that’s just how some folks run their business. Lots of great things and loads of possibility, but some fundamental pieces not firmly put in place. So the result can be less than desirable, and frustrate the heck out of you!

This is why you can feel like you are working and working and working, and may not have gotten where you want to be.

When you read the rest of this article, I’ll show you the three key pieces you need to have an integrated business and what it looks like if these are missing for you.

It started by noticing trends. I was seeing client after client with the same challenges. It was either they had great ideas and lacked the proper mindset to pull them off, or the opposite was true. Maybe they didn’t have the right idea of what to do next or know what was possible in getting their business out in the world in a big, bold way.

Here were wonderful people with great visions for themselves and the clients they were to help, and yet they were not being as effective as they could be.

Why? Because their business didn’t have the 3 key ingredients to make it integrated.

I guess I should start with what I consider the definition to mean. The dictionary says this:

in·te·grat·ed

adjective
combining or coordinating separate elements so as to providea harmonious, interrelated whole.

In order to support my clients and help them put more of the right pieces into their businesses, I created my 3 step model/paradigm that weaves into the business all the parts necessary.

Here’s the pyramid that depicts the formula.

Let me describe what each of the pieces are and why you need them to be solidly in place.

Structure – This is represented in two places…business and personal.

Business structure = we look at what you are selling, how money comes in, how things are leveraged, how you spend your time, etc. It’s like an architect laying down the proper foundation before the house it built.

Personal structure = this is where your identity come in. Where we work out and release any fears/doubts, or blocks in your way. You can’t have one without the other if you want a business that works.

Spirituality – This is the spirituality of your own understanding, and not meant in a religious sense. If your business is to have a heart, you’ll need to grow your ‘center.’ And that center (in my opinion) is to connect more deeply to what your source is. You may have heard me say that the entrepreneurial journey is like a spiritual path. I say this because when you step up and say yes to running that mission-driven business, you will need to become more of a leader, more bold, more self-aware, and more able to weather the sometimes stormy patches that you encounter. And the best way to navigate through these is to have a strong spiritual connection.

Strategy – After we build the right foundation, get you and your business connected spiritually, then we add the strategy which is like the gas in the car! Good strategy is the gold. It’s the thing that takes the confused, overwhelmed entrepreneur and allows them to settle in, get into action, and uplevel their results.

Are you seeing where you may need some tweaks? What I discovered is that most of us have one or two working well, but need that third one integrated.

Let me share with you what happens when you have just two in place and are lacking the third critical piece.

Structure + spirituality only = Missing strategy means you will feel scattered; marketing and sales are inconsistent, thus you won’t be charging or may not be making enough.

Strategy + structure only = Missing spirituality will show up as you or your business feeling empty and your customers feeling like your business has no heart.

Spirituality + strategy only = Missing structure means that you are not grounded. The risk here is that you are likely to get off track and follow others’ blueprints or bright-shiny-objects, and your clients may not know how to work with you. Missing personal structure means that your emotions may be running you and you don’t have the way to settle down with them.

What’s the solution? The first step is awareness. I’d suggest that you take an honest look at what’s working and not working. Best yet, get an outside perspective on your business. Ask your clients or mastermind partners to share with you what they see your strengths are and where you could use a bit more support in. And feel free to visit my Go Bold Mastermind program because in 9 months we’ll work on strengthening these so you can have a fabulous, integrated business you will just love!

Wouldn’t it be nice if you just set your course when you started your business, and knew exactly where you’d wind up? And imagine if you could just plug in the goals and directions and waaa la! You end up precisely where you thought you’d be.

Well, that may happen to a very lucky few, but for most clients I work with, there are certainly some major detours along the way. Usually it works like this …. Inspiration hits so you set the course and plan around that. But then something comes up. Maybe it’s an opportunity that takes you in a new direction. Or usually it’s the opposite. The thing you set your sites on didn’t pan out so you shifted gears. So instead of success being a straight line, it zig-zags with seemingly unrelated pieces. Trust me…at one time or another in your business, you will encounter some roadblocks.

That’s where I come in. In the last newsletter I spoke about the “Dig-Excavate-Renovate” process which you may want to read about. You see, as a coach/consultant, my job is like a big eraser. With clients I help them erase old beliefs. Fix crappy websites. Repair marketing that hasn’t worked. Mend broken mindsets, and finally birth the brilliance that’s living just under the surface of the blocks and barriers.

So let me tell you a story. And this story is about finding the gold living in the rubble of a business once we have started the excavation. Keep reading and you’ll find out not only what the process is, but why it’s so crucial that you go through it.

Let me introduce you to “Maria.” (Not her real name, although she did give me permission to use the essence of her story.)

She is quite talented, but didn’t have the belief in herself that she needed. This bright woman had tons and tons of potential, but she was letting her ‘stuff’ get in the way. During coaching, one call would be positive and she’d move forward, but then the next one she’d be lost and swimming around in a pool of doubt.

In fact, there was one session when she was ready to give up on even having a business. But I took a stand for her and would not let her quit. I reminded her that we had to do some digging and ‘clean up’ work, and that even though she was taking a few steps forward and two back sometimes….she was still making progress. Thankfully, even though she didn’t believe in herself, she believed in my belief in her. That was the thing that kept her going.

And how it often happens, the business she came to me to grow morphed into something she never would have imagined.

With Maria we dug, and excavated, and now are in the renovation process.

But it was in the excavation process that the most amazing discovery occurred.

After doing loads and loads of NLP, EFT, and other work to move away the big boulders of disbelief, doubt, and disempowering messages from her history, what emerged was a game changer.

See, Maria has always been very serious and driven. She was raised that there was no room for fun or play. Just work and being productive.

But in the rubble of what we uncovered was the part of her that as a child loved to play the flute, dance, and be playful and carefree. When we found this aspect in her, the shift came when I suggested that instead of making her work something she HAS to get done, she was to invite the younger, playful part to express and have fun with what she was attempting to move forward.

She took to this and loved the experience. The website that had been stalled got done. Her opt-in got put up. And the biggest delight? She finally OWNED her new business. She went from being tentative to really seeing that this next version of her business is something she’s been doing for years, and quite well. So now she and I are working to monetize it and help her share her gifts with the world.

Now how does this relate to you? This is a story about the process that business owners go through. My hope is to show you that if you sometimes wonder why you aren’t going faster, you just need to do the digging-excavating and renovating.

These are the stages of Maria’s story and the journey you can take for yourself as well.

1. Get to the Starting Line. Let me just be honest here and say that sometimes, we aren’t even at the starting line. Meaning, there is clean up or other work that has to happen just to get us in the game. So make an honest assessment of yourself. And not to turn you into a victim or bring blame here, but really realistic. When I just started my business I was going through a divorce and had two small kids. That meant my energies were VERY scattered and often business was not my top priority. That’s an example of not even being at the starting line. I had to clear up what I was going through to be able to fully focus. Step #1 then is to look at the ‘stuff’ that is on your plate or in your life that is interfering.
2. Do the work to dig out from what’s holding you back. Very often this is one of those things where you can’t see what you can’t see. So if you have experienced a stop/start pattern and are not seeing the results you want, there’s something in the way. Usually it’s all mindset related, so you need to start clearing away the blocks you may have. If you want to really learn how this is all related, sign up for my free training call on 12/6 where I share how the Inner Game and Outer Game are connected and what you need to do to integrate them.
3. Find the gold in the rubble. As we uncovered with Maria’s story, there is much ‘juiciness’ in your journey. As I have been sharing in my Blind Spot to Brilliance interviews, very often the things that we take for granted, devalue, or can’t appreciate show the seeds of our greatness. Once coaching exercise is to go back into your childhood when you were small and free of the roles and rules and responsibilities you later took on. What did you love to do? What were the themes of your play? What did you act out or dream about? That ‘child-part’ has wisdom from your soul and if you listen to it, can find you much more joy in how you do your business. (Mine strangely enough was playing ‘fairies’ with my friends where I’d wave my magic wand and make their dreams come true! Not too far off for where I am today, right?
4. Express differently. Maria had a whole list of ‘should do’s’ that were de-energizing. When I suggested that instead of making something happen to make money or get a task checked off her list, and that she just write for the sheer joy of it…it all clicked. So with this step you tap into the part of you that just wants to share what you have. For a moment take away your marketing brain, get out of your politically correct way of speaking, and dump your business owner self. Find the part that wants to share and let that part speak. It may or may not end up being marketing copy, but that will get you moving, add a fresh perspective, and bring loads more joy and fun to what you are doing.
5. Get support. Probably the most critical piece. I liken this process to “Midwifing Your Magnificence.” This entrepreneurial journey can be one of the most rewarding AND challenging things you’ll ever do. You need someone who will love you, take a stand for you, not let you quit when you get discouraged, and hold a bigger vision for you than you can for yourself. This process is quite deep and very relational, and from time to time requires some loving butt kicking even, but the process is best done with a trusted guide. If I can be that for you, I’d be honored.

So, as we head into fall and you see the leaves changing, the weather shifting, and things start looking different, I want you to imagine what you and your business could be like if you found the brilliance inside you and expressed it in a bigger and bolder way. I can’t wait to see you shine!

Peace and blessings!

There are many phases to business growth.  The dreaming, the planning, the implementing, the building….and then the erasing.

Are you aware of the fact that in order to go to the next level, you need to erase part of the thing that got you there?

For some this may seem normal and appropriate and easy.  But for others it’s tantamount to clearing out the family home of all the heirlooms.  Loaded with resistance and refusal!

Let’s start with why first.

Look at nature.  Nothing stays the same.  In nature, if you aren’t growing, you are dying.  Think tadpole to frog or acorn to oak tree.  The original form always falls away to reveal a new one that is more sturdy, more likely to survive, and more ‘grown up’ if you will.

And so it makes sense that the business you had three years ago also needs to morph into a new version.

But that’s going to take some erasing.

These are some old beliefs you will need to eradicate:

I can’t charge that much
There’s too much competition
I have to do it all by myself
I’m don’t know enough to be seen as an expert yet

You may have others that have plagued you for years, so now’s the time to create the new ones.  The trick here though is to create from where you want to be versus where you are now.  So visualize yourself more successful in 1 or 3 years and ask….”what were the beliefs that allowed me to get here?”

The trick then is to begin to incorporate the new and allow the old to be erased.

Next up to erase is your pricing.

If you are a coach or consultant or service provider, are you offering high end programs?  Are you ‘out of the box’ with your offerings, or still selling a few sessions here and there?

The first thing I do with my clients is look at what they are selling and find creative ways to package their genius.  So as you look at how you serve people, what needs to be erased?  It could be a poor selling program or product, or one that doesn’t make your heart sing.  Remember – nature abhors a vacuum, so start slicing and dicing and cleaning up in this area.

The final thing we erase is your invisibility.  And for some, this can be the scariest.  It looks like a bio with third person, boring, and ‘fact-based’ content.  It shows up as lifeless and devoid of color or your personality.  And the cost of this one is tremendous.  But it takes courage to fully put yourself out in the world in a big way.

So here the erasing consists of anything on your website that sounds like “but I should hope so.”  What I mean is if you are a CPA and your great claim to fame is how accurate you are, that’s an “I should hope so” as a consumer, and shows nothing about what makes you unique, brilliant or the very best one I should hire.

Let’s get that big eraser out and look at your marketing materials now.  Start with your bio.  Does it reflect all of you?  Does it give me a reason to connect (beyond your professional credentials)?  Does it make me feel like I can trust you, or does it sound like everyone else?  And finally….are there stories, pictures, and enough personal stuff so I can feel like you and I could relate a bit more.

If it doesn’t, start erasing!

Because in this new economy, it’s more critical to have a personal and authentic presence.  So I challenge you to grow this way.  (And feel free to send me the before and after!)

By the way, if you want to discover the way out of being invisible, I’d love to give you my free ebook on Inner Marketing.  You can grab it here and discover ways to stand out in the marketplace.