Just when you think you have everything organized and know what to do next….something else pops out that’s different than before. By the time you realize how this new aspect needs to be handled, there’s something else that needs your attention, so it always feels like you are behind the 8-ball.

This is true not only in business, but in parenting as well.

I remember when my son was about 4 and another child in his play group wacked him in the head with a whiffle ball bat! Of course I was on the phone immediately to the mom of little Nick, and after a brief conversation, the boys were able to make up, and I felt good that I could take action to correct the situation. Now fast forward 10 years. My son was in middle school getting bullied. But this time even though the circumstances were the same, I was not able to respond the same way. Now I was told by my son to calm down, and let it go because ‘that’s just how boys are’ and that my presence in it would make it worse for him.

Same situation, yet I had to BE completely different! But I wanted to go back to how I handled it before because heck…it worked!

So how does this relate to your biz? Because if you are in the beginning levels of business you will be doing things that you sure as heck should NOT be doing when you reach more success. But what happens is that there’s a bit of a time when these two places collide. And this is where overwhelm comes, where business frustration kicks in, and where if you don’t fix it….it can feel like a whiffle ball bat upside YOUR head!

So let’s start with some basic business truths. (Because this is the ‘holy grail’ of it all that you’ll need to know.)

Biz truth #1 – In order to grow your business, YOU must be willing to grow. Sorry, but there’s no way around this one. So if you think you can just hand off your marketing and sales or outsource everything, you are painfully mistaken! If you are in a service based business, it is an extension of YOU and so you will be tasked with stepping up and becoming the CEO/business owner who has a greater vision. (For an article on outsourcing leadership, read this one about what my dog taught me about being a leader.)

Biz truth #2 – At each phase of business, there are different skills you will need to embrace, learn, and practice. Sorry, but owning a business is not a ‘set it and forget it’ kind of thing. The first step is to embrace the very changing nature of the crazy entrepreneurial journey.

Biz truth #3 – Planning ahead will make these transitions much easier. At times this is hard to do because like raising kids….you have no idea what’s in store in the future of your business! But this is where listening to a coach or mentor who’s gone down the road ahead of you will make all the difference in helping you navigate more smoothly the sometimes rocky road of business growth.

Biz truth #4 – Only YOU can decide who you want to be and how you want your business to run. Not to contradict my previous statement, but this one is about understanding that YOUR values are most important and learning to build a business based on this rather than just blindly following a blueprint or someone else’s vision for you.

This article is inspired by my own growth these last few months, and two clients who are hitting the wall as well.

And the reason we are all experiencing this? Our businesses are massively growing.

Trust, it’s a great problem to have, but along the way there are things to factor in.

There are three places to look when you hit this new place:

Capacity, Containment, Clarity

Looking at where I’m at, as well as “Client #2” I see that we have both pretty much maxed out our capacity. Why? Because the business model of doing a lot of one on one service delivery. So that’s the first place where growth can occur. Ask yourself honestly – if 10 new clients came knocking and wanting to hire you, could you take them on AND DO A GOOD JOB?

If capacity is the issue you’ll want to look at even more outsourcing, getting more selective about who you take on, raising fees, and creating a more leveraged business model.

Again, this is a wonderful example of what used to work great, no longer is serving you if you hit this wall. So make sure you plan for when your biz hits that growth point. Because if you keep doing all the good work you are doing, you will be faced with this growth challenge, so best to plan for it when you are not burned out and overwhelmed.

To highlight another angle….“Client #1” is opting for containment. She’s on a nice trajectory to have a 6 figure business, but she’s wise enough to look at what it’s actually COSTING to bring in that amount of money. Guess what? There’s a HUGE difference between net and gross, and so don’t overlook the cost of business. This client sees that she got swept away in listening to all those around her and invested a ton of money in growing, but nets very little. And it’s pissing her off! She’s currently in the discerning process, but her direction is likely going to be to CONTAIN her business growth. While in the above example you as business owner will do growth strategies, another choice is to scale back and downsize.

I love the direction she’s going in. She’ll be taking her top/best paying clients, and not need to pay her team for so much. She’s choosing her VALUES over the crazy quest for that elusive six figure business.

And the last place to look is for clarity in discerning where you are, and where you want to be.

Taking a realistic assessment of what’s working, what’s not, and what you’d like to have different is crucial here. (This is why I’m heading up to Sedona! Grabbing time to dream and vision and allow the new business model to emerge.)

Here are some questions you can ask at this time:

What do I love doing?

What do I hate doing?

What drains me?

What energizes me?

What would I like to give up?

If it weren’t for fear I would ______________________ (fill in the blank)

Who would I be worried about letting down or disappointing if I made changes to my biz?

How much is my business reflecting my highest values?

If I were just a little more courageous, I’d go after ____________________ in my business.

Those are just a few questions to get you started. Another really nice thing is to do a “Visioning” Exercise to get really clear on what the highest vision for your business is. Let me make it easy for you and share a short audio on visioning you can use to get this process started. It’s about 7 minutes and will give you something to start with in asking these questions for yourself.

My hope is that you really understand that you are not separate from your business. If your business is to grow – so must you. If you desire money and success, you must be willing to look at everything in you that is counter to bringing that in. And often it can feel like you are on a runaway train, but really….you can manage it, control it, and navigate perfectly with lots of intention, loads of support, and some very good planning.

Peace!

Yup. Talking about the “F” word in this article. Failure. Because if you are in business for any length of time, in addition to the lovely moments of stunning success….you will also get to experience times when things just plain old don’t work.

And hopefully, it won’t be for you like it was for Chris Webber. Remember him? It was the NCAA championship back in 1993. Webber’s team was down to the final few seconds and he made what came to be known as one of the worst blunders ever. He called a time out when there were none left. Of course, his team lost as a result. And what that meant was that 35 million viewers saw him fail in the biggest way possible. The ultimate in public humiliation.

This article was inspired by watching an ESPN documentary about Chris, and thinking of the fact that often times “our mess becomes our message” if we turn it around the right way.

Webber’s story is particularly interesting because there are few of us who will be hit with such disgrace in the way he was. But even though we don’t have the celebrity, it still hurts.

I’m going to cover what leads to failure, how to learn from it, and ways to weave it into your marketing so it may possibly be the thing that sets you apart in your messaging and attracts those cool/perfect clients.

Let me set up the story of Chris Webber and how I’m tying it in to your business/failure–

In the last few minutes of the game, the Michigan coaches repeatedly told the team that there were no more time outs remaining. After some confusing things happened, Webber takes the ball to the basket, gets trapped, and so signals for a time out from the referee.

This resulted in a technical foul, allowing the other team a chance to score, and subsequently win the game. It’s reported that afterwards Webber was in tears, realizing this mistake cost his team the championship. Now let’s look at the mistakes.

Failure lesson #1 – Not taking the advice of your coach

Webber’s coaching staff repeatedly told the team that there were no more time outs, but somehow the star and team leader failed to hear this one. Have you ever done this? Missed a really important lesson because you couldn’t ‘get’ what your coach was telling you? A great coach will show you what you can’t see. They show you what’s around the corner to watch out for, and pave the way where you haven’t been. Yet often people don’t listen or implement their advice. Have you ever made this mistake?

Failure lesson #2 – Listening to the wrong people

In watching the video, what happened to Webber is that another player on the bench had signaled time out and when Webber saw that, he responded….causing the cascade of heart-wrenching events. Have you ever turned to someone else and had it backfire on you? I see it all the time! Business owners listening to their spouses, friends, broke neighbors, etc. Getting all kinds of advice from those well-meaning nay-sayers who know nothing about growing a business, yet are trying to help by offering their two cents.

Remember, there are two different drives – the need for security, and the desire for freedom. If you are one of the freedom-seeking entrepreneurs, to a security-lover, this journey seems friggin’ crazy! No guaranteed pay check, no vacation, sick leave, retirement, etc. So please understand if you are getting advice from someone who doesn’t have the same values you have or doesn’t understand that drive….you will NOT hear the best counsel. They will be telling you to call time out on going any further and you may be at risk, so make sure you have the right people on your team.

Failure lesson #3 – Letting failure define you

What struck me the most when watching the documentary was the horror that Webber felt. Here he was the cocky leader of the team. And in one second he became the butt of a ton of humiliation. I had a thought as I witnessed him leaving the court, kicking chairs, and then crumbling in a puddle of tears in the arms of his teammate that if he knew that even though this was the worst thing that ever happened….fast forward a little while, that he would survive it.

He went on to be a five-time NBA All-Star, a former All-NBA First Teamer, a former NBA Rookie of the Year, and a former #1 overall NBA Draft Pick. But in that moment in 1993, he knew only pain.

Yet because he persevered, his success was significant. And that leads us to….

Recovery strategy #1 – Take the long view

Know that this too shall pass. EVERYTHING passes. And while there are still remnants about the old story circulating, Webber is now known for his successes. So if you are in the middle of things not-working-so-well I want you to fast forward. Put yourself out there about 3 years and know that whatever is up and fresh and kinda crappy right now will be have a very different perspective with enough time.

Recovery strategy #2 – Figure out where it broke down

I’ll share my own story here. It was three years ago. I was super excited to launch my first ever 6-month mastermind program. So I spent a ton on VA’s and getting the copy worked on, and had 3 preview calls. All went well. The content was fabulous. The price was a killer value. And no one signed up. Heck, no one even inquired! I was devastated, because it had been such an adrenaline rush for me to create this, and here I was a marketing coach and I couldn’t even market my own stuff! Yikes, big time failure in my book.

So I had to do a ‘post mortem’ and figure out where it had broken down.

First I looked at my mindset/inner game. Wanna know the issue? I had remnants of that ‘first-born, super-hero, hate-to-ask-for-help’ thing going that had plagued me for years. I knew I needed to ask to affiliates to help me get the word out, but ‘didn’t want to bother’ them so never made the phone calls. That was a huge realization and thankfully, I have overcome it today. But every failure has clues where you have some old or unresolved ‘stuff’ that needs worked on.

Next, I had to look at the mechanics of the marketing or outer game. Here I called a friend who was a genius at marketing. She asked good questions about follow up. Because what’s true now is that often times 90% of the sales come with the follow up emails/marketing! But in my promotion I had just done the calls and hoped the folks would sign up. There was nothing in places to do further marketing. Dang. Big lesson! Today I know this and build this into my marketing, but it’s critical to take an objective look at where things break down in your business.

Recovery strategy #3 – Turn it into your message

Once you get over the shame or pain of whatever your perceived failure was, if you are neutral and understand that often times you go through things to be able to teach them….you can find the gold there.

The best work I get to do is to help clients transform their stories. We re-work their bio’s and about me pages or business to include the lessons learned from the failure. To use another basketball analogy, look at Magic Johnson, who was at the top of his career when he was diagnosed with HIV. He has transformed that and is now a messenger of hope and inspiration to so many people. And we all have those seeds of greatness in us if we take the time to find the gift in the story.

So your task is to rework it. If you have suffered some loss or failure, how can you use that to further your work, clarify your differentiator, or be an inspiration to your clients? That takes courage and a commitment to transcending your story.

And I’d love to support you on that very juicy journey!

You do realize there are three things you are selling when you sell your services, right? And I think we all work so darn hard getting a yes and for the credit card to be pulled out that we miss the boat with those last two (and even more critical things.)

Because if you stop ‘selling’ when you get the yes, your prospects miss out on the real thing they are buying. See, they aren’t buying YOUR services. They are after THEIR transformation.

But even though they want it….they still have to be sold on it.

Let’s start by taking it from the top.

The #1 mistake business owners make is trying to sell their services. Sounds crazy, but what you are selling really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with solving problems and serving at a really high level.

So instead of focusing on what you are selling, the shift is to begin to understand what your prospects are buying. This is one of the exercises in the upcoming Serving Without Selling program. We look here to start establishing the value you bring, because if you haven’t gotten this one nailed…you are going to be losing money! Period. It isn’t pretty, but it’s true.

Let me cover the things you need to be ‘selling’ other than your services.

1. Sell yourself on your own value. We touched on it above, but if there’s a little smidge of doubt that you deserve the $ you are asking for or wish you could receive; you will likely have a breakdown here. Ways around it? Get your best clients to tell you what they got as a result of the work you have done with them. Ask others, because if you are like most, you are under valuing yourself and are leaving a ton of money on the table and missing opportunities to help more people.

2. Sell them on the tangible transformation they receive from your work together. After you believe in your work, the goal is to help your prospect understand that they are not just buying xyz services. They are buying a transformation. Whatever biz you are in, you should really dive down and discover what is possible in terms of this. An interior designer? You could be transforming living spaces so there’s more peace, fun, and laughter in a home. Chiropractor/naturopath? You are transforming health so there’s increased energy to enjoy life and family. Business coach? Transforming someone’s business so it’s profitable enough to live the life desired. Instead of selling by the hour, or by the service, sell the transformation and you’ll get much further.

But here’s the thing with transformation….sometimes it’s messy!

Very often there are breakdowns, regressions, and it seems like nothing’s happening. That’s why #3 is so critical.

3. Sell the journey. Hey, we all want the fast, easy, get-it-right-the-first-time version. But that’s not how things go. I can unequivocally say that every single business I work with gets put through my DIG-EXCAVATE-RENOVATE™ process. That means that between the owner and the business, we have to dig up old things that are not working like beliefs, or systems, or business models. We then pull those blocks out to examine and rework them. This could mean that we have to re-do the website or look at marketing that isn’t matching them any longer. Very often it means that I’m pushing new parts and new skills that feel undefined so there’s a lack of confidence that shows up. Finally we renovate and rework it so the finished product is a good one.

But here’s the thing. I always explain the process. I explain that growth doesn’t happen in a straight line, and usually we go backwards to go forward. I sell the journey and advise that it may feel worse, get worse, and push them in a way that they haven’t been pushed before. (Think childbirth here!) If I didn’t explain and set this up as NORMAL, I’d have some unhappy clients! But because I set up the expectations in the beginning, when it gets a little hard or they are doing things outside their comfort zone, I don’t give up and won’t let them either. Knowing that the journey is what it is is very necessary in your client care, so think about how you could sell this part of the process in your own business. Look at the trajectory for the clients you work with. Are there stop/starts that happen? Regressions that naturally occur? Foundational work that needs to be in place first? Healing crises? Make sure you educate on this because one thing I always say is, that you have to teach people how to be clients and what to expect!

Once they have made it through the journey, there’s one final thing that you must be selling. Because if you don’t, you might not be getting hired for much longer!

Have you ever noticed that very often people are in a different place and they don’t realize how much they have changed? It’s like we are different but still stuck with the old identities or ideas of what we are and what we can achieve. That’s why #4 will justify keeping you, and allow the client to see their progress. You need to:

4. Sell the change. Too often the client is the LAST one who see the changes. Sure, if you are measuring things like increased income or number of new clients in the door it’s tangible and measurable. But we all know that most success has elements of the intangible as well. If your clients are very outwardly focused you will want to constantly remind them of the tiny little shifts/victories/successes that they have achieved. Ideally…tie it to working with you.

Many healing practitioners get very frustrated because their work is so subtle that often it takes months and months, and by then the client has moved on or found someone else, so the ‘credit’ isn’t ascribed to the right person if you will. This part of the ‘selling’ is to help validate the great work you have done, but mainly to get the client to own the new things they now have access to. I always “mark” things for my clients by pointing out that six months ago they would never have been able to do xyz. The folks in my Mastermind know that every call they will be asked to share a win or victory because it’s my commitment to always help them integrate/internalize the changes they are making.

Why is this so critical? Identity. We get tied to our old ways of being and have a hard time realizing that indeed, we are now different! So instead of assuming the client is seeing all the amazing growth, you need to punctuate it. Highlight and celebrate it! Because once you do, they will, and that’s the greatest gift you can give someone.

Your coaching challenge would be to look at the 4 places you really must be selling in and start making these shifts. This is where clients will get better results, you’ll be retained longer, and feel really justified in charging the money you would like. I’d love to hear your perspective on this, so comment on the blog, or shoot me an email sharing your ideas about selling.

Peace!

Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” ~Steve Jobs

Don’t you love that quote? This is why I’m so passionate about working with and empowering entrepreneurs to get out of their own way and break free from limitations that hold them back from being the change. Those of us who have heard the call and said yes to its whisper are the ones courageous enough to leave our jobs, step away from the perception of security, risk falling and failing, and ultimately undergo huge personal transformation….all in service of that deep dream that lives inside.

But it takes courage to play at this level. Courage to keep going when those around you chide you for being so ‘crazy’ as to wanting to do it on your own. And more courage yet to stay strong when the cash flow is weak and you might be swimming in fear and doubt, or can’t find the way to take your business to the next level. And it often takes even bigger amounts of courage to step up and sell your services and ask for rates that you really deserve.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~Steve Jobs

Let me clarify what I mean by entrepreneurial courage. I define it as your ability to BOLDY express who you are in your business, sell your services, make decisions based on your strengths and gifts, and the willingness to go against the grain – to stand out and listen to your own inner voice and vision versus following along with what everyone else is doing.

And that takes guts, let me tell ya! If you are to be a successful business owner you must be a leader! This is where the courage comes in. As an employee, it is very likely that you were given work or told what to do. But when it’s your own business, you are responsible for creating all of it. While you may have a team, ultimately, the success or failure you experience is on your shoulders.

That’s why this entrepreneurial journey is not for the faint of heart!

If you talk with anyone who has been on the path for a while, they’ll likely share with you the steps they took and what they bumped into to finally own their brilliance and build a business around it. You’ve likely heard my story….I had a master’s degree in counseling, practiced for 25 years, yet felt that was a liability as a business coach! I had coaching training and certification and coached and trained with some of the industries finest to integrate the business building, marketing, sales, branding, copywriting that I know today, but because I had been a therapist I still felt like it wasn’t enough, so I had a really hard time selling my services.

The journey for me to really decide to build my brand and my business on the fact that I am an expert in this mindset and inner game area was a painful one to be sure. Why? Because as I often say….“Your Brilliance Lives In Your Blind Spot.” So in my case all my mentors and business girlfriends could clearly see where my business positioning needed to be, but I, 1) didn’t value it, 2) couldn’t figure out how to market it, and 3) had no idea how to weave it through my business model. And that experience has lead me to the path I am on today, and formed the foundation for the Serving Without Selling program and all the work I do with clients.

The craziest part? Just as in life, very often the thing we struggle with the most is where our gifts are and what we are actually here to teach. So guess what I’m teaching now? Yeah! How to get that brilliance out of your blind spot and own your value! How to have the courage to let YOU show up in your business, and how to make money doing what you love, and are good at.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.” ~Steve Jobs

But how do you get courage? How do you risk putting yourself out there when it’s new or it’s scary? The #1 thing – get support! Truly. The issue lies in that you can’t see what you can’t see.

That’s why it’s my theory that your brilliance lives in your blind spot. Here’s what happens when it’s living there:

• You can’t believe anyone would pay for it, so you can’t sell your services
• You can’t charge appropriately for it because it “comes so easy” to you
• You think everyone has it or can do it, so why do they need you?
• You can’t figure out how to make it a business that makes money

I have worked with loads of business owners who were not loving their businesses because they weren’t marketing and selling the thing they should have been. They were listening to what someone else told them they should do, ‘selling out’ on their dream or chickening out and just taking the easy money.

And there’s nothing wrong with doing things to get some cash in the door! But is it costing you? If you are working with people that are costing you energy, it’s not worth it! Sometime we just have to make choices based on revenue, but if you are to have a satisfying and fulfilling business, it has to weave YOU in it.

But what kind of support do you want? Not just someone who rubber stamps your ideas. No, find someone who will challenge you to show up BIGGER than you are currently comfortable with. Find someone who will call you on your ‘stuff’ when you start backing down, and someone who takes the time with you to discover what you should be marketing and selling based on your unique gifts and talents and values.

The next step to get more courage is to create an empowering environment. Reading Steve Jobs quotes are inspiring and stimulating. Reading the Enquirer not so much! Listen to fellow entrepreneurs who have blazed the trail to show you that it’s possible. You must keep as much positivity in your environment as you can as you make the transition from just having a business to being the kind of business owner who’s making a difference in the world. It’s a big shift, so set yourself up for success by having an environment that pulls you forward. This is where vision boards and inspiring books, goal setting or affirmations, and coaching work well.

And once you make the commitment to have a business you love, based on your gift and unique talents, it’s a whole lot more rewarding.

“Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” ~Steve Jobs

I couldn’t have said it better. Thanks Steve and thank YOU my readers for showing up and doing the great work you do in the world.

Peace and blessings!

We all have a certain way of approaching sales.  Sometimes it works, and other times not so much.

If not, you may be missing a really important piece of the business pie.  And that is the selling your services part that most service based entrepreneurs just don’t dig!  But it really is the backbone of any good business, so this article will show you a bit of where you may be with selling and asking people to give you money.

See if you can identify with any of these characters.  (And they aren’t gender specific!)

Pushy Pat.  Basically Pushy Pat’s are the HARD sell champions.  These are the ones who don’t stop calling, don’t listen, and bulldoze through the conversation until you are ready to run out of the room screaming!  They have the ‘activity’ part down, but are missing so much in terms of knowing how to connect with a prospect that when you are around them there’s that feeling of being ‘slimed.’

Unconscious Ernie.  Poor Ernie.  Gotta love Ernie because he doesn’t even know he’s in a sales conversation!  Ernie just goes along spitting out his fees if asked, and has no clue that he must be selling!  He lets the prospect run the show, never ‘closes’ the loop and very likely isn’t getting a very good conversion because again…he’s not even aware that in addition to being whatever trade he’s in, he must think of himself as a sales person.

Weak Wendy.  While Ernie has no clue about a selling process, Wendy know that she’s in the middle of it.  And she’s sweating bullets!  Why? Because maybe on some level she has doubts about who she is and what she has to offer.  Maybe when it comes time to ask for the money she starts feeling guilty and gets overly concerned with her prospects financial position.  What she hates to do is confront or ask them to play big, step up, or invest in themselves.  Well she might…but it will be really weak.  And then she’ll feel bad, probalby lose the sale, and go back in to the spiral of doubt and shame.

Confident Chris.  Woo Hoo!  Chris is the one who understands that the selling process is really all aboutserving. So Chris stays strong, acts confidently and knows not only how to own her value, but to charge what she’s worth.  She knows that it’s WAY MORE than just following the right sales script.  Her power comes from who she’s being and how she’s able to take a stand for her client.  Chris has the experience of even when people don’t hire her, they have a great experience just having the conversation.

Obviously, these are a bit exaggerated, but most people relate to one or two of these characters. And unless you are a Confident Chris, you will want to learn why a sales script won’t save the sale, but will probably sink the ship, and why you need to master the inner part of selling – the mindset piece – because relying on anything else just won’t cut ut.

Join me on April 4th for a free training call where I’ll be showing you more about the Selling Personalities, and share that who you are being in the selling conversation is far more important than scripting what you are saying!  Because it’s very possible t0 -

* Break free of your blocks around selling your service.

* Stop “backing down” when you talk money or make a ‘higher dollar’ offers

* Create sales conversations that feel awesome–for you AND your potential clients.

*Understand just what need to happen in those selling conversations, so you can get a yes.

If you are ready for that kind of ease around selling, you’ll want to sign up here.  If you can’t make the call live, we can easily send you the replay.

Let’s make this the year you shift this and become confident in the selling process, ok!

Blessings,

p.s On this call I’m going to share also the opportunity to join me in the Serving Without Selling program that starts 4/17.  For a very reasonable investment, you can be on the way of making sales easily.

This may shock you…. There’s a “Nano-Second” in Time When Your Prospect Decides Whether or Not to Work With You…..And Their Answer…Is All In Your Head

It’s like you have them….and then they slip through your fingers. Let me tell you why.

The sales cycle for service based entrepreneurs takes a certain route.

Phase 1 is creating awareness of your business via networking, social media, blogging, writing articles, speaking for free, and building referral partnerships.

Phase 2 is bringing prospects in a little closer for a more intimate interaction with you. This might happen in an interview call you do with a colleague, or on your own teleclass. For a few of you, it might happen in a small-group presentation to an organization.

Or, phase 2 could include a free phone consultation with you–and it is this short, “sliver of time,” out of the entire sales trajectory, that carries within it your success or your failure.

Think about it. You’ve done all the prep work and you actually have an interested prospect on the phone with you.

And when they turn around and ask you how you work, what the process is like–you’re probably sailing along with that, too.

Then comes the death-knell. They ask you what your fees are.

And it is right in this precise moment that you can let that sale slip away.

But if they leave, it won’t be because your fees are too high, or your credentials are lacking.

It will be because there is a part of you (the mindset piece) that may not fully be in alignment with the thing you are offering. Sure…you can roll lower priced programs out all day, but try quoting the higher fees? Maybe you rock at this already, but if you are like most people…there is a little glitch! (Heck, even people who make $20k a month still suffer from this, so it’s not just a ‘start-up’ issue.)

Here are three reasons why you may be ‘going weak’ and backing down just a bit. (And don’t feel bad if you relate to these…I have done them all!)

1. You have not fully owned your value and understand just how much working with you will be life changing for them. It takes awhile to really land in a deep way just how valuable you are in the work you do. Many people struggle with this because there is a tendency to have the ‘brilliance in the blind spot’ problem, so while others may see the rock star you are…it may not come as powerfully to you. What to do? Get someone to work with you to discover just how amazing you are, ask clients for testimonials, and stop minimizing the work you do!

2. You are taking responsibility for their financial position. This is easy to do. You roll out your fees and your prospect launches into how they can’t afford it, or how things have been difficult because of the economy. So instead of coaching them to solutions, the ‘break down’ here is to feel guilty that you want to charge them so much. We have all done this and it doesn’t serve. People find money for things they value. Period. Feeling bad that your rates may make them uncomfortable does not serve them! Work on boundaries around this because when there is ‘skin in the game’ there are often better results.

3. You are not willing to let them go if they are not a good fit. The most powerful position to be in for the selling conversation is that of taking a stand for yourself, and NOT NEEDING them to become a client. This is critical. You aren’t here to serve everyone, even though you probably think you could! Find that sweet spot of who you love to work with, who can afford you, and then let the other folks be served by someone else.

Here’s what I know to be true…You can learn all the right techniques, from any famous sales guru–but if you don’t look at what’s transpiring between you and your prospect (and what’s happening in your head), none of that training will matter.

So next time you have a prospect in front of you, pay really close attention to what’s going on internally. Are you ‘care-taking’ them in any way? Feeling bad asking them to invest in themselves? The first step in changing anything is awareness, so be noticing what you are doing, how you are feeling, and then you can make the necessary changes. Because when you can master the art of getting clients to say yes, you have shifted to a much better level in your business!

You work really hard at getting folks in front of you, just ready to have that ‘enrollment conversation’ but what happens if you aren’t 100% confident in knowing the right way to sell. Do you have a way that will allow you to stay powerful and charge the fees you’d feel good about?

Because what I’m talking about is waaaaay beyond just having a script and learning the right words to say.

In fact, I’m pretty sure you are making some mistakes in this area.

We all do. And the mistake which is very likely killing our sales is usually under the surface and sort of unconscious, so it’s really tricky to find and deal with.

So today let’s talk about it. Let me pull back the covers and shed some light on what may be happening if you are a heart centered service provider who has a bit of a challenge from time to time when it comes to being powerful in the selling conversation.

Because as good as you are at your work, if you can’t sell it….you got some problems!

I guess I should set up the context for all of this first. We are starting the conversation at that very moment when you have a prospect say “so tell me how I can work with you.” Or maybe if you are a coach they have inquired about your rates and you are now in that follow up meeting. You have shared what you do, the two of you have ‘done the dance’ and now’s the time when they say, “Tell me how much it’s going to cost me.” THAT IS THE MOMENT this problem occurs.

I liken this ‘dance’ to being on a tight rope. Each of you stepping forward and backward, checking out the energy, balancing and seeing if things can progress with them saying yes to becoming a client. But what often happens is that if you for a moment have doubt that they can pay, wonder if you are charging too much, or have a glimmer of questioning that you can help them, it all comes tumbling down.

Yeah, your mindset is the piece that gets you in trouble here.

And are you ready for me to reveal one of the biggest mistakes that you may not even know you are making?

Ready? It’s that you are choosing to keep your prospect comfortable by not leaning more fully into the selling conversation. You may be doing this over taking a stand for their greatness by NOT staying strong and focused when you hit those objections.

I’ll give you some examples –

You feel like its ‘tacky’ to ask them to buy.

You love what you do and are great at it, but hate to think of yourself as a ‘sales’ person.

You don’t want to challenge them when you see they are giving up on their dreams.

You go weak when you have to discuss price and just wish they would ‘get’ what you do and buy.

You don’t know what to do or where to go when they say that they can’t afford you.

You can sell the heck out of the lower priced offerings, but shrink in offering bigger ticket ones.

Sound familiar?

If so, you aren’t alone! Just know that most heart-centered service providers feel this same way.

Let me give you a few tricks to shift this.

1. Own your value! If you know without a doubt that your services ROCK, it’s easy to sell. If you understand how hiring you will solve their problems, serve their life, and make a huge difference in their world, it’s not at all hard to stand firm in your price. How do you do this? The obvious is to ask past clients what kind of results they got from working with you. Dig deep. Dive in and find the ‘lifetime value’ that your work has given to them. And a great way to find this is by downloading my free “Inner Marketing Ebook” which will help you get you crystal clear about your value and make it much easier to sell your services.

2. Know what your triggers are. Is it asking for more money? Maybe it’s when you start hearing their story of struggle. Or perhaps it’s when the person you are chatting with seems like they have it more together than you do. Once you identify what the ‘thing’ is that will trip you up, you can move on to step 3. I like to say that much of the work needed with business owners is to “dig, excavate, and renovate” so this is the place where you want to dive in and learn what happens in your mindset in that selling moment. You may want to think back to the last conversation that you didn’t close and notice where you got uncomfortable. Remember, you can only change what you can identify, so get that shovel out and start digging! (And once you dig, you need to renovate not only how you approach the selling conversation, but you need to have a plan to follow to make it work for you.)

3. Make a plan to handle your ‘stuff.’ If you know where you are likely to break down and back down, it’s then a great idea to use role play, rehearsal, visualization, and mentoring to get you past that part. The main thing here is to SELF-SOOTHE. Meaning, when you hear those little voices in your head that are kicking you out of the game, you must have a strategy for how to deal with them. I teach this all the time, but to nutshell it…imagine that those inner voices are just trying to protect you. If you hold that space, it usually changes the nature of it.

4. Make a commitment to LEARN TO SELL. You have to master this skill. No way around this. Once you decide, you can then go about filling the gaps that are keeping you less than confident and missing enrolling those perfect clients for you. Stay tuned for more information on this very subject. I will be hosting a call: “Secrets to Enrolling Clients Without Hype or Pitch So You Can Be Serving Without Selling” on March 14th.

5. Get support. Hey, this stuff isn’t rocket science, but because its inner game and personal, it’s pretty hard just to read a book or listen to a teleclass to improve on your skills here. Best option? Get some coaching! All great athletes and performers have coaches, so if this is an area you want to improve it, make the investment in yourself.

Know that you CAN shift things. It’s possible to love the sales conversation. Possible to feel confident, comfortable and really powerful. And I’d love to show you how!

What’s the link between love and business?  And is there one?

Let me share an article I wrote a couple of years ago that I want to share with you in honor of Valentine’s Day.

Oh, it was ugly. I hadn’t been out doing karaoke in a few months, so when my gal-pal Andrea asked me to go to sing, I decided to try a song I’d never sung before – you know that rather drippy but beautiful Bonnie Raitt ballad, “I Can’t Make You Love Me?”

It’s a fabulous song when it’s done well. But for whatever reason, I wasn’t on my game…at least not for that song. When I got up to sing, I immediately hit the wrong note, and then realized that I was probably way off key for the first few verses. Yikes!

Now, if you’ve ever done karaoke, you know that you are on the stage, folks are watching, and you have the mic in your hand. Sort of one of those sink or swim moments. Time seems to slow down when you think you are sucking! And this is just what it can feel like in business when you step up and step out to try new and different things.

You are probably wondering what the heck my botched Bonnie Raitt song has to do with handling the challenges you encounter as a business owner. Well, if you’ve read any of my stuff, you know that I’m a big lover of metaphors. And since singing has very many parallels to being a successful business owner, I thought I’d write about that today.

Just like karaoke, being a business owner has lots of places where you can shine….or sink. Places you need to take more risks, go well beyond your comfort zone, and ultimately step up and deliver what you offer to your audience. You get to choose. You can try something new and slither back, never risking again, or you can build those ‘mental muscles’ you need to keep pushing yourself to push your envelope.

In business, karaoke, and life, you need to create a mindset for success. Here are my top 3 ways to do that:

1. Take risks and try new things. It’s all about courage…in business and on the stage. Instead of doing the tried and true songs, I went outside of my comfort zone because I always have a desire to stretch myself. And sometimes, that means I sorta suck at first! But it’s a necessary part of the growth curve.

Do you do that in your business? Are you looking for ways to expand your product offerings or create fresh content? Know that if you don’t grow, you become obsolete. It’s that simple. If I gave you the coaching assignment of coming up with three new ways folks could get to work with you, could you do it? Brainstorm that one because it’s a huge growth opportunity. Especially now…quit playing it safe!

But what’s going to get you may be that little gremlin/perfectionist in your head. When I first was going to the karaoke bar years ago, there was one man who technically had a fabulous voice. But he always sang the same song, wore a hat (to hide I’m thinking) and it was clear he was not about rocking the house with a new number!

The parallel here is that so may be one of those wonderfully talented people who has your best ideas still percolating or in some folder somewhere because it’s ‘not quite good enough.’ Your task then is to battle the voices that have you keep your new work from getting out in the world. You can use EFT, you can have a dialogue with that perfectionist part, or you can just make the deal that you will come back and revise, edit, re-work it, but you have to get new things in the market! (By the way, if you are looking for some tools to battle that crazy perfectionist in your head, my Business Mindset Toolkit is the perfect solution for that.

2. Observe how you are doing and ‘being.’ Have you ever had moments when it feels like time stands still and you seem to be watching yourself go through life? That’s what it was like for me during the first minute of the song. I was just praying the song would end, looking around the room for validation, and trust me…not really enjoying it.

In business, do you have a way to be able to track or measure how “on your game” you are? Do you take time regularly to ask yourself how you are doing? Have you created trusted advisors or mastermind partners who are sharing their feedback with you? Are your customers invited to give you input so you can tweak and improve your performance?

Now one mindset problem we bump into here is that if you are like most folks, you may not be objective. You have heard me talk about that “Brilliance living in your Blind Spot” problem, right? Which means that it’s imperative to get outside feedback because we often can’t see our gifts, our strengths, and tend to minimize our successes. That’s why I created my free eBook which helps you get your brilliance out of the blind spot and in the world.

Heck, it’s normal to be a bit self-conscious when you are stretching or doing something new. But if you never get in the game, beat the crap out of yourself for any mistakes, and keep your best stuff hidden because you are ‘tweaking it,’ no one will get to see you grow!

3. Correct by being connected. After a few moments of really being uncomfortable, I remembered that I know how to sing, so I just willed myself to get out of my head, and into my body. In my head was all the negative chatter, which was making me crazy! When I finally said to myself, “shut up and sing,” I was able to relax, and allow the music to come through me, with much better results. The audience applauded, I was happier, and Bonnie would have been proud!

Now let’s look at the application to your business. You have to try new things to stay fresh. You are going to fail or at the very least, mess up a bit. Things will break down, and people sometimes won’t love what you do. That’s just the reality when you are constantly pushing the edge of your comfort zone as you continue to grow and expand what you do and who you are.

The trick is being able to self-soothe.

A successful mindset is one where you can observe yourself but not get caught up in whatever is going on. It’s about recalibrating constantly and staying focused on your goal. You have probably heard that an airplane is off course 97% of the time, but the auto-pilot is constantly correcting. The plane always lands at exactly the correct destination, but wouldn’t if it weren’t for the corrections along the way. I believe that the true measure of success is in how you recover from the mini break-downs.

What can you connect to as a way to stay grounded? For most of my business owner clients it’s the “Big Why” as I call it. If you can stand in the place of being connected to why you are in business and why you serve the people you serve, handling the little bumps in the road is easier. You can also connect to your spirituality as a way to remind you of what’s important in your life. And finally, connect with your clients. Pull out those testimonials; remember those stories of the times you made a huge difference in someone else’s life. This is the fuel that will keep you going. So when you are super self-conscious, remember…it’s not about YOU! Get out of your head and focus on the gifts you were given and the desire to serve. That, plus a bit of gratitude will shift you every time, I guarantee it.

(By the way, if you like the karaoke metaphor you can read a blog post from five years ago when I first started singing that is pretty funny and quite relevant. You can read it here.)

So my friends sing your heart out in whatever way you do. Just make the commitment to keep playing a bigger game because we need your gifts in the world!