HAPPY MONSTER

Hopelessness: The End of Healthy Living

2020-06-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

The increasing cases of suicide attempts among youth is nothing new and is something everyone is aware of. I often hear people talking about depression and disturbed psychological or mental health to be responsible for provoking individuals to take such daring steps. And both troublesome human beings and problematic situations are held responsible for such shaken mindsets so as to find death easier and safer way to escape from living. But is it really so?

Who has problems in life?

For this to understand, I would like to begin with a question. Is there any professional or even personal aspect of life which is free from all sort of troubles for any individual? Have you ever come across a person in your life who had no problems at all? But please, do not consider people hypothetically portrayed to be self sufficient. Now what does that mean? We find most celebrities to be very happy and powerful as shown to us by media sources. We presume them to be perfectly content in life. But that is just what we see through the eyes of media. Similarly, we visualize certain known but unknown (people whom we know but have not been in close contact ever or recently) people to be idealistically delightful in life with no menace at all. But it seems so to us only through their social media profiles, trust me. So, precisely I am only talking about people whom you know personally and keep talking to them personally or getting their news from personal channels. They might constitute your close relatives, friends, neighbors or colleagues or any one else who fulfills the required criteria.

Confused! Don't be. Let me give you a way out to find it.

Step 1: Make a list of 10 of your problems and another of 10 things which are happening perfect or you consider them as gifts of God in your life.

Step 2: Then make a list of 20 people for whom you are unable to think of any problems.

Step 3: Now introspect into the life of these 20 people in context to issues pertaining to your 10 difficulties and 10 favors you have listed in Step 1.

Just follow and believe me, you will have your answer.

Here, you might be able to list a few who actually has a surprisingly flawless life. Now, lets take our task a little further to get more into it.

Step 4: Now again analyze life journey of same people but this time do not focus only on their present problems but the struggles they have faced throughout their past to reach this stage where they are free from all burdens of sorrows and complaigns.

Trust me you will have the biggest answer of your life. Everyone has to face problems in the journey of life while walking over to reach the destination of their aspirations.

So, precisely to the question above, the reply is

Everyone has problems. No one is free from or escape out of difficulties.

What makes the difference then?

The difference is only in the way one handles and deals with the problems as and when they arise. Few people stand as strong pillars in front of tough circumstances while others shatter as quickly as a loosely held leaf fall out of the tree and get apart. Why is this so? The life skills learnt by the people during the life tenure play an important role here. Perseverance, patience and most importantly faith in the power of almighty. And no need to say that humans with these skills are better able to handle pressures of all sorts.

On the other hand, more ideally and frequently what is practically seen is that same person might comfortably and wisely face issues pertaining to one aspect of life while may fail to safely jump even the simple breakers in some other aspect of life.

Now, what is the difference here? It's how one perceives different situations. For instance I may consider a small argument with my husband much more disastrous for my mental health than even being jobless. While some individuals perceive problems as a part of life, others may treat them as something more disturbing and devastating. In the same manner, an individual might think of some big problems to be small while some other minor issues to be very major. So, the difference actually exists in the Perception.

What makes them feel worst?

People do not kill themselves for every obstacle which arises in the way towards achieving their dreams. Also, not everyone is frustrated for the financial troubles or hurdles in the career path. Some start hating life due to lack of love or respect. It is a myth in our minds that people who commit suicide are alone. Not loneliness is the cause of every act of self killing. Mind it, also no one dares to kill their own selves immediately at the onset of the troubles. The sufferer definitely spares time to analyze the situation he is into. He/ She tries hardest with all possible energy and conviction before giving up. Every individual strives to live not die.

Then what compels one to take unexpected and unimaginable step of taking his life? Its hopelessness. It is true that human nature is attracted to living but living good and happy. When the only essence of life that is hope gets shattered, the life loses its significance. The life becomes too much spoiled, depressed and frustrated. The person starts spending days with negativity.

It is only when an individual finds himself trapped from all sides and finds no way to escape the problem, he finds dying easier and fairer than living.

When living seems to have only tremendous pressure and humiliation that individual finds benefit in running away from life eventually because he thinks this will be a fair end to all the mess he is surrounded with.

What to do then?

You may find it wierd to read it but it is important to introspect what we can, being humans do to help someone trapped out so badly.

We tend to ignore any symptoms which can help identify such sufferers and the closed net of troubles around them, sometimes being ignorant and other times being carefree. Isn't it so? And is it acceptable? We must realize a fine bond humanity which binds us all to each other. We must put in efforts to identify people with disturbed psychology.

The next thing is to accept the trapped person and understand his problems by putting up your feet in his shoes. Realization of the fact that it is the situations that are problematic, not the person is the need. Even a person who is extremely brilliant, wise and gem may get trapped and it would not be any wonder. So, if you are on the other side of that trap does not make you smarter or wiser in any way, in fact it is just that you are luckier.

So, with people in such situations, the biggest mistake is to try making them understand that their problem is small. Rather it is important to not let the spirit of living die within them.

Give them hopes and try convincing them that solutions exist. And most genuinely, try finding solutions to their problems or experts who are capable of finding those solutions.

Because one thing I am very much sure about is ' There is no problem which comes without its solution. Both problem and solution take birth together, it is just that one is seen prior to the other'.

Sustaining Positive Environment Around

2020-06-18T12:22:00.007-07:00

2020 is an year of tremendous troubles, challenges and sickness. Adverse conditions may result into psychological and mental illness like depression, hypertension or stress and also social isolation accompanied with so called social distancing.

I had been listening to and reading work of experts and also gone through and observed some very fine key holes which existed in real case studies and thus based on data collected, I have been able to prepare a practical guide to overcome such extremities and protect the life and future of your own self and bring stability in the lives of your closed ones.

1. Communicate and Express yourself out

In such a condition, it is important to communicate and express yourself out as you already know and obviously every second person is talking about the same. You would definitely tell me that my or for that matter no expert's suggestions are required to know it. But I have to share or rather discuss somethings more to it.

It is, I know, easy to say but difficult to practice. It is great idea for extroverts who can easily talk but what about people with personality traits close to being introvert. In fact according to expert studies, it might surprise you to know that many individuals who commit suicide due to depressive tendencies were really good and comfortable when they talked, highly expressive and easy going. Then what makes them arrive at such cruel decisions?

As an initiative to bring this closer to reality, here I list out a few steps and dos don'ts to bring the communication and expression into practice.

(a) Make two lists of people you know

Make one list of 5 people who are closest to you and can be trusted upon to talk anything. If choosing them is a problem, mind it, you always free comfortable in talking to those who do not judge you for what you say, do not gossip at your back and most importantly take you towards positivity.

But sometimes when the negative mode of our body gets on, vibes of sorrow starts running down the body, destructive thoughts overtake constructivism within our mind. The environment around us becomes serene to such extent that talking to closest ones is also not able to resolve the issues messed up inside. This is because these people tend to play the role of saints who starts preaching right and wrong whereas what is required at that particular time is discussion and not lectures. Here comes in the second list. Keep another list of 5 people who come next in line. In such situations, talking to people who come in your second list works better. It is because they become good listeners and source of genuine guidance.

(b) Write down your thoughts

If you find it difficult to talk, then begin with writing down. Now come on do not take it wrong, I am absolutely not talking about turning into an emotional poet. I am also not exactly talking about maintaining personal diary. But atleast when you analyze that something is troubling you hard inside, write it down. Practice what can you say and how can you say and then find someone whom you can say.

When you start feeling alone, start reminding yourself that you are not, no one can ever be. Yes, that's the truth. No one can ever be alone, we all have people around us who are truly our own but we are forced by the negativity around to forget this. So keep reminding yourself. Take out old albums, try remembering and penning down good times you spent with them together. This will bring you to comfort, then call them, even if you hesitate to talk about your own problems with them, still call them, just to give them a message that you still remember them. Chat with them about good things you did together and good time you spent together.

Gradually develop a rapport and then you will find they miss you equally.

(d) Use social media platforms

Use social media to stay connected. Make it a habit to post about yours and your family's well being in family and friends' groups everyday. And ofcourse you initiate the drive to get the same from all members. But remember, do not let it be just a habit, make sure you express your true feelings.

2. Reprogramming of mind

I recently heard an expert psychologist talking about it in context to the mindset we possess about current scenario covered with corona virus attack.

There are certain moments when we are surrounded with negativity, and we need to understand that in such situations, humans tend to push themselves towards more negative thoughts. It kind of forms a chain wherein negative pulls negative and thus we need to drill and practice pushing ourselves towards positivity. The devil sub conscious tries to overpower godly conscious. Here, we need to bring our inner conscious forward to console ourselves and convince our mind to move and urge for strong positive within us again.

3. Understanding your own symptoms

The negative state of mind I have mentioned above is not very silent and gradually such sorrow state of mind is expressed through destructive acts. The extent of this destruction may vary from person to person depending upon both intensity of suffering and personality of sufferer. From excessively enhanced aggression and extreme frustration emerge these signs of this destruction which are, in actuality, symptoms of some psychological problem.

4. Seeking expert advise

This is most important! Whom are you following, who are the ones who are advising you? Are they good enough to justify that job? When you are going through your tough time, there are many who will come to your rescue as they think so. But the hard truth is most of them, rather I would say almost all of them are only enhancing your problems. You need to make sure that people with whom you are discussing your problems the most, are not the worst to advise you. Because trust me, as per expert data, a major percentage in present scenario are depressed themselves. And in no way it is possible for a bottle of kerosene to extinguish fire. The fire inside you needs some carbon dioxide in the form of positive spirit and only some intellectuals and experts who have the potential to deal with your problem can act as a fire extinguisher.

5. Do not hesitate to seek medical aid

As I explained above, this one again requires some reconditioning of mind. Though its a hypocrisy in the world we are part of that admitting need of help for any or all kind of psychological problems are considered under one umbrella called mentalhood and furthermore, all mentalhoods are violent and harmful for people around.

But you need to understand that you can't change such narrow mindsets in a single day and it will actually be foolish to spoil your own life for such mindless people.

So its better to accept and seek appropriate help for the same.

At the end, I would only like to suggest that tough times come and go, nothing stays forever. Things do change and they change for good. Be patient, keep trust in the power of almighty and things will be fine.

भारत माँ हमारी है

2011-02-13T06:06:00.001-08:00

ये अपनी भारत माता,
किसी एक की जागीर नहीं
इसे निखारना, इसे तराशना
केवल एक व्यक्ति का कम नहीं
मिलजुल कर एक जुट होकर
यदि अपना कर्त्तव्य हम जानेंगे
तो अपनी सोने की चिड़िया को
आज के लोग पहचानेंगे
इस धरती के टुकड़े को हम
भारतवासी भारत बनाते हैं
ये सैनिक हर पल मर मर के
इसे जीने लायक बनाते हैं
सैनिक लड़ते हैं सरहद पे
देश के भीतर चेतना हमे जगानी है
साथ में गंगा, यमुना, हिमालय
सबकी शान बचानी है
उठो सपूतों माता के
आज ह्रदय से नमन करो
दूजों से लड़ना बंद करो
अन्तः प्रकाश का चयन करो
अपने माँ की आवाज़ को
आज अगर पहचानोगे
तो नभ के स्वर्ग को छोड़
इस धरती को स्वर्ग बना दोगे

अश्कों की कहानी

2010-11-01T08:32:00.001-07:00

दिल के कोठर में बसा दर्द
बहता है बनके अश्क
कोशिश करती हूँ बहुत इन्हें रोकने की
पर ये व्याकुल इज़ाज़त न दें पोंछने की
ये अपनों के दर्द में भी बहते हैं
अपने दर्द में भी निकल आते हैं
कुछ होश नहीं इन्हें अपना
ये ख़ुशी और गम दोनों में बह जाते हैं
ये कन्धा ढूंढते हैं अपना स्थान बनाने को
जो मिल जाए वो सहारा
तो और भी व्याकुल हो जाते हैं
सारी दुनिया का प्यार पाने को
सपने टूटते हैं तो भी इन्ही का सहारा है
अपने छूटते हैं तो भी इन्ही का आसरा है
जीवन में हालात कुछ भी हों
किसी का साथ हो न हो
अश्कों से नाता है हमारा सबसे गहरा
देते हैं ये साथ सदा चाहे दिन हो या हो सहरा

नया जीवन

2010-10-11T08:18:00.001-07:00

अंखियन से आँसुं बहें

बुझे न दिल की प्यास

रंग सारे बदले बदले से

सारा जहान नया सा

पहले तो मेले सजते थे

ढोल नगाड़े बजते थे

खुशियों का सागर बहता था

आँसु उसमे तैरा करते थे

अब तो सब कुछ बदल गया

सूरज की किरणें इतनी गहरी

खुशियों का सागर सूख गया

अब दुःख की मौजें लहराईं

बाजों से नाता टूट गया

अपनों ने कुछ ऐसा छीना

पाने से नाता टूट गया

सुख ने कुछ ऐसा रुख पल्टा

चैन से नाता टूट गया

अब टूटे नातों को जोडूँ

पिछले काँटों को या छोडूं

नई रात और दिन नया

लेकर के शुरू करूँ जीवन नया

क्या सही और क्या गलत

चौराहे पर कड़ी निहारूँ

किस ओर हैं जीवन की खुशियाँ

किस ओर काँटों की गलियाँ

जीवन की डोर

2010-09-19T04:14:00.001-07:00

जीवन हमारा, जीवन का हर पल हमारा
पर जीवन की, हर पल की डोर
सिर्फ ऊपरवाले की ओर
दिन में उजाला, रात अँधेरी
बदल न सके दुनिया की फेरी
पैसे को पैसा खींचे
हँसी को लूटे  हँसी
चाहे जितना ज़ोर लगालो
कर्मों की सज़ा तो होगी पूरी
धन से न ख़ुशी मिले है
दिल का चैन है ज़रूरी
जब तक मन न होए पावन
तब तक न आए खुशियों का सावन