Day by Day with Harper J

New Year, New Direction

2012-01-01T20:07:00.002-06:00

It's a new day of a new year. Harper has been gone since December 26th, and my heart aches every time he calls. I haven't been without him for this long in over a year.

In the last year, I've dealt with heartache and loss. Depression and anxiety. I've leaned on my friends... sometimes I feel like too much, other times I feel like not enough. I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm not whole. I'm broken. 2011 was about surviving. 2012 will be about healing.

The one person who could put a smile on my face without fail? This guy.

Man, he makes me happy. All that other stuff fades away when I hug him and hear his laugh. He is such a blessing to me, and I know I am loved.

So this year, all changes I make will not just be an improvement on who I am, but they will set an example for my son on the kind of person I want him to be. The changes will set in motion a series of events that will change our lives for the better. I'm hopeful. It feels good.

I'm a Bad Blogger

2010-07-09T21:30:00.003-05:00

I'm going to make an attempt to pick up this blog again! My boy is growing and changing and these things need to be chronicled.

Here is my handsome boy at dinner tonight.

If I start doing better, can I get a gold star?

Love

2009-10-28T22:05:00.002-05:00

I tell Harper I love him about 750,000 times a day. I asked him if I tell him too much. He said "No. You don't say it enough."  Works for me.

Mini Harperism

2009-09-25T16:40:00.001-05:00

Harper: "Mom, do you think I'm cute?"
Me: "I think you're very handsome. Did someone say you're cute?" (Thinking it's a girl at school.)
Harper: "Yeah"
Me: "Who?"
Harper: "You. I think you're cute, too, Mommy."

My Cheerleader

2009-09-24T12:41:00.002-05:00

SO... I FINALLY got a job!! I've been unemployed for an obscene amount of time. Seriously. But Tuesday, a company I temped for from November 2008 until March 2009, called me and offered me a job! One of their girls is leaving and I already know how to do half of her job. They were going to hire me back in February, but they had a hiring freeze and had to lay off a ton of employees. Being a temp, I didn't last much longer. I interviewed on Wednesday, and they asked if I could start right that second. I couldn't, because I had to work out after school care for Harper, but I reported for duty this morning. Yay!

When I picked up Harper from school yesterday and told him that I got a job, he yelled 'That's GREAT Mom! Can I get a Buzz Lightyear now?' He'd been so patient over the summer with not getting toys when we go to the store, I told him we'd have a celebratory mini spree at Target. Instead of Buzz, he picked out some 'Cars' cars and I bought a new pair of slacks to wear.

This morning, I took him to school. When I was leaving he said 'Wait! I need one more hug and kiss.' I squatted down, and that little bugger gave me the biggest hug he could muster and kissed me goodbye. I set him down and told his teacher, 'That's the best first day on the job send off anyone could ever hope for,' and turned to walk away. Harper yelled 'MOM!' And I turned around to see the biggest grin on that beautiful face and he was giving me a thumbs up.

Man, I love that kid.

Fundraiser Time!!

2009-09-21T16:00:00.002-05:00

Harper is having his very first fundraiser! They have some pretty tasty treats and some neat Christmas gift ideas. Please check out the catalogues 'Gourmet Cookie Dough and More' and 'Happy Holidays'.

All orders must be placed by October 5th. If you see something you like, please send me a message and I will give you Harper's seller i.d., then you can log in HERE and place your order. Sorry for the cloak and dagger, but safety is my first concern when I'm posting personal information on an public blog.

Typical Conversations in Our House

2009-09-13T22:01:00.005-05:00

August 24th. Background: My brother breeds dogs. We have just come back from a visit, where one of the dogs has had puppies. Harper has seen them nursing.

Harper: Did you make milk when I was a baby?
Me: Um, yes.
Harper: How did I drink it?
Me: Seriously? Do I have to answer this?

Eventually, I just got out the Baby's First Year book and we talked about it. I mean, it's nature, right? Nothing to be embarrassed about? But I admit it, I was. He's four!

August 28th. After dinner.

Harper: Wow Mom. That sure is a lot of food in your belly!
Me: Thanks kid. My self esteem was skyrocketing. Way to keep me grounded.

September 13th. Background: Harper was looking at one of his baby books and saw a picture of himself wearing a bib. He asked if we still had it. I said I doubt it, but if we did, it would be in the drawer where I keep the dishtowels. He dug through and found it. He insisted on wearing it with lunch.

Harper: Mom, do I have three of those boobs?
Me: Boobs?
Harper: Yeah, that thing I put on at lunch.
Me: Bibs, honey. Bibs.
Harper: Yeah, those.

A Brief Letter to My Best Guy

2009-09-11T21:19:00.004-05:00

So here we are. Four and a half years old. I'm not sure what happened, maybe I sneezed or blinked, maybe I even turned my head for a second. Whatever it was, all I know is that suddenly, you've become a child. One who's big and reads books and states his opinion about everything and obsesses about words and what they say and doesn't. ever. stop. talking.

Oh the talking. I know I've mentioned the talking before, but I could never talk enough about the amount of talking you do. If you were a cartoon strip, I would get smothered by your conversation bubbles in two frames flat. You can out-talk me, my child, which is freaking unbelievable, because I swear sometimes I think I deserve a world record for my talking. And yet, the talking gene mutated when you were created and turned into this monster talking machine that favors the word 'why'.

My dreams are haunted by the why question. For that matter, so are my days. I can't answer anything without you asking 'why?' as a follow up. You ask me questions about things that you already know the answer to. Maybe you’re testing me? I haven't figured that part out yet.

You are amazing, smart, perceptive and hilarious when you choose to be. You're so funny, that you have been most of my status updates on Facebook this past month.

Since the day after your 4th birthday party: "Well, I'm almost five now." Well, you have a year to go, but yes, son, you’re on your way. On one hand, you can't wait to be five, six and seven, but on the other, you do NOT want to get older. You want to stay little forever.

I realized the other day that you and I, we're like an old married couple, we bicker all the time, and yet it's obvious to anyone who knows us that there's a deep love and respect there. And that's probably true. And if I have to bicker with you for the rest of my life, then I'm okay with that, because every night, I kiss you goodnight and you squeeze me so hard, that my heart practically implodes.

You're an amazing child. Someone said to me the other day, "You look like you're a good mom." The truth is? I'm not the good one. I'm just lucky enough to have you for a son. You make it look easy, kid. And I love that you make me look good. I hope I make you look good too.

Delayed Post

2009-09-08T17:19:00.002-05:00

Well, this is kind of a delayed post. Should be interesting, too, since I'm trying out new publishing software. Fingers crossed that it looks just as great, if not better, than before!

But back in June, we went to Grandad's to hang for the day and take our annual pics.

H and Grandad played hide and go seek, concentration, and I believe a round of Go Fish. Harper wasn't super cooperative for pictures, but we got at least one good one in the bunch. And before we had to head home, Aunt Nancy and cousins Brad and Steven came for a visit.

Grandad ready for an action shot:

Good pic, but no Mona:

The winning pic:

Playing Concentration with Grandad:

A quiet ride home:

Dinner with the Richardsons

2009-09-03T21:10:00.001-05:00

We had dinner with our good friends David and Sarah Richardson the other night. They have two girls, Karis and Allison. They played so well together and were absolutely hysterical.

Action shot

David teaching H to throw a frisbee

Allison disappeared for a few minutes. I don't know where she went, but Supergirl came in her place.

Sometimes girls win.

I wish I had a picture of it, but you can see they don't have a fence. When Allison would get too close to the drive (they live on a golf course), Harper would run down and get her. Holding her hand the whole way up. So sweet! I think she reminded him of Kenzie. He played really well with her.

First Day of School!!!

2009-08-24T21:01:00.000-05:00

Harper has been SO excited for school to start! I hope it lasts all year. He gets to wear a uniform, which I'm excited about. Now, instead of hearing about all the cool clothes the other kids are wearing?, I'll just have to hear about the shoes.

Handsome as ever and ready to go! Posing here with Duke.

Official First Day of School portrait

H and Daddy making silly faces. I think Harper looks like he's doing the robot, but maybe that's just me.

Me and my little man.

Are we done taking pictures, yet, Mom?!

Two Wheel Riding Machine!

2009-08-23T20:50:00.000-05:00

Harper called me from Daddy's today and told me that he had to take his training wheels off his bike because they were broken. "And guess what! I can ride without training wheels!" So I jumped in the car and went to the church parking lot by Jody's house so I could snap some pics of this historic occasion!

Harper said he had a hard time turning at first. But Dad would run in front of his bike and told H to just follow his feet. That's what he did and now he's a pro! Daddy has been running for a few months. I told him that it was just practice so he'd be ready for this.

Meet the Teacher!

2009-08-19T20:39:00.003-05:00

Harper is starting Pre-K and we got to meet his teacher and check out his room. It's a huge room with lots of centers set up. A center just for cutting paper, playdough, a library, painting, creative play with costumes, blocks, etc. A four year old's heaven!

The Pup is Growing

2009-08-11T20:32:00.002-05:00

Here are a couple of pics of Ianto. He's nearly 3 months.

Brookie J

2009-08-03T20:30:00.000-05:00

My beautiful niece at five and a half months.

Bowling Buddies

2009-08-02T20:16:00.002-05:00

Steven and I took Harper and Kenzie bowling. I had signed them up through www.kidsbowlfree.com and they got to bowl free all summer. We didn't really go all that often, but it was still a really good deal, and he loved it!

Letting the ball go

His "waiting and watching" stance

It looks like a winning shot!

Victory dance!

Harperisms of the Day

2009-07-31T19:03:00.003-05:00

I made chicken enchilada soup and cornbread for dinner. Harper was poking around his bowl and kept asking if I picked out the potatoes. I said, 'I didn't put potatoes in it.'
He kept asking over and over about potatoes. Finally I said, 'Do you mean tomatoes?' He said, 'Yeah, the red things.'
I said, 'Look at my mouth TOH-MAY-TOH.' He said, 'Look at MY mouth POH-TAY-TOH.' Touche.

My mom came over for dinner and brought some Vanilla ice cream from Braum's (since my homemade ice cream ended up being rubbish). She said, 'Did you know that Braum's has Cake Batter ice cream now, and Brownie Batter ice cream?' ?!?!
After dinner, we were eating our ice cream, I said to Harper, 'Braum's has cake batter ice cream?! O.M.G.' He said, 'O.M.G.'
A couple of bites later, I said, 'BROWNIE BATTER ICE CREAM?! O.M.G.' He said, 'U.P.S.!'

The Best Birthday Gift...

2009-07-18T21:54:00.002-05:00

...is a super hero. Who doesn't want one to help make a cake?

We celebrated Aunt Shari's, Conner's and my birthdays in July. In celebration, Harper and I made a rainbow cake. It was really fun and SUPER good. It was so good, in fact, that it turned the kiddos into super heroes.

We took two cake mixes and five colors (mixed two for six) to make a six layer rainbow cake.

Harper added the eggs...

...and the water...

We separated them into bowls and added the color.

It's pretty on the outside...

And gorgeous in the inside...

Tasty, too!

May I introduce the two newest super heroes:

And... Upside Down Goggle Boy:

Puppy Love

2009-07-16T20:06:00.004-05:00

If you didn't know, we welcomed a new member into our family on July 1st. He is now 8 weeks old, he's an English Mastiff and we named him Ianto (sounds like yan-toh) and it is Welsh for John (def: Gift of God).

He's learning the ropes around here. I'm getting him on a routine for potty training. He knows where the food is (and thank goodness he can't get to it!). He loves his toys and most of all loves Mona. I think he could live without me and H as long as he had her. She, of course, could very happily live without him. I catch her playing with him in the backyard sometimes... dragging him around with her rope toy while he holds onto the other end. Wrestling... play biting, and warning bites every now and then.

It's a challenge, but he's worth it.

Here is a pic from when he came home. So little!

It's amazing how much he's grown in the last couple of weeks! Can you tell how much taller he is?

He's not going to fit here for long:

Or here:

This is a normal sight:

As is this. He'll be bigger than she is soon, but he'll know who's boss.

Cookie Monster

2009-06-19T21:35:00.002-05:00

Harper helped me make cookies for Father's Day.

He measured things out. He counted the scoops.

He stirred in the chocolate chips.

He ate the dough.

*These were taken with my phone, so the quality isn't that great.

Harperism of the Day

2009-06-16T21:33:00.002-05:00

Today, my stomach was hurting a little bit. Harper said he would get his doctor kit and fix me. He grabbed the thermometer and said 'Let me get my Mominator'. That's just awesome, right there. After he took my temperature, he said I was 43 pounds. Don't be jealous, ladies. I eat small portions.

It was an Accident

2009-06-05T20:33:00.003-05:00

Harper came home from his first week of the Summer at Daddy's today. I took him to Riverwalk so we could get some ice cream and take Mona for an outing. My favorite part of the night was when we walked by the fountains...

I'm not going to get wet, Mom. I promise!

I'm just going to get my hair a *little* wet.

Oops! It was an accident...

How could I be upset with *THAT* face?

Swim Trauma

2009-06-02T19:48:00.003-05:00

Tonight when we got to swim lessons, Harper's regular teacher, Eric, was there, but he was teaching some other kids. Harper and one girl had a teacher I hadn't seen before.

She was good, but from where I was sitting, it looked like she was teaching the stuff that Harper learned when he first started swim lessons. She said something to him and he got really mad and would scream everytime she tried to touch him. David, who runs the swim team, walked over to me and said Harper just didn't want to go under water. I told him to remind H that he'd get a sucker if he went under on his own. He passed on the message, but Harper didn't care.

The drama lasted about ten minutes, when finally, Dylan walked over to Eric, relieved him of his current task and sent him over to help Harper. Once Eric was in the water, it took about two seconds for Harper to smile and be all about swim lessons again. He went under on his own more than once. He paddled and kicked and had a great time.

Harper's used to Eric's teaching style and thinks he's pretty cool. So to know he was there, but have a different teacher who's showing you stuff you already know? Not very fun for a buddy. When we left, I told Eric that Harper and I are just creatures of habit. I hope it made him feel good to get in there and save the day.

Just Another Day at the Beach

2009-05-27T21:09:00.001-05:00

Ang and I loaded up the boys and took them to Skiatook Lake for a few hours today. There's a small beachy area at Cross Timbers. They had so much fun! They had lunch, then built sandcastles, threw rocks, buried themselves... several times. We were going to fish, but I left H's fishing pole at home. Instead, we fed the HUGE catfish by the docks.

Adventureland

2009-05-24T20:43:00.001-05:00

We went to Melissa's parents' house so her dad could change my oil and replace my brake pads. Harper and Gaby were instant friends and had a fantastic time. They had lunch, jumped on the trampoline, went fishing, ate watermelon, rode bikes... I'm exhausted just thinking about it!