Hazelnut Cottage

The Indie Artist/Etsy Mom’s Guide to Maintaining Sanity, Thought #3: Embrace Change.

2009-11-08T00:00:00-10:00

Thought #3: Embrace Change.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~Anatole Franc

Isn’t it funny how a part of us longs to be different, to grow, to change, to be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be? And yet, so much of us wishes to remain the same…not have to give up our comfort, our habits, our old ways of doing and being in the world. It’s as if we want both things at the same time; we want to be the butterfly without having to go through the cocoon stage of metamorphosis.

I know this is often the case in my life.

I find that I usually resist change out of fear. Maybe it’s the same for all of us. Perhaps there are parts of significant parts that we keep hidden so that we appear likeable and acceptable among friends, and loveable and perfect for our mate. Perhaps we remain in unhappy (okay, miserable) jobs, or relationships or what-have-you situations because the risk of stepping into the unknown is worse, or it would be so much work and hardship and staying where we are and the way we are is so much…well…easier and more comfortable in a way…and so we stay. We stay put, we stay nice and likeable, we stay unchanged and soon we are unchangeable, our hearts partly deadened to the passions and opportunities we once believed were possible. Sometimes, there seems to be good reasons for keeping change at bay; perhaps the risk is too great, the children are too young, the art too unprofitable, the relationship to new or too good to mess with.

All these things may have some truth in them, to be sure. But in our quiet hearts, when we stop to listen to what we have to say to ourselves, the voice is loud and clear. “Go for marriage counseling,” it says unashamedly…“Paint that picture, sing that song,” it says boldly…“Be honest with yourself, be honest with him,” the voice will encourage, “Set a real example for your children, not a carefully faked one,” it pleads honestly.

In my own life, one of the saddest revelations I have made, is that time goes on, whether or not we chance it. The fact that we choose not to make a deliberate choice in matters at hand—is still—a choice. And a year, or two or ten goes by and what we have laid out before us is our life…a life full of the choices we have made, full of chances not taken and a self-unknown.

And we know (boy do we know), even though we’d rather not go there…you know?

As Andy Dufresne said to Red so eloquently in The Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

The road we have traveled is behind us. We can (and it is good to) grieve over the lost years (I have and still do), mourn the wasted opportunities, the chance to say “Yes” to life, to ourselves, to God. And this is necessary and in time, will help to bring healing.

But there is more. There is the road that lays before us, right this very day. Full of opportunities for us to try something new, to be more real with ourselves, our loved ones…to live authentically as artists and as people. We have this day to speak what it is we really need to say (not just what they want to hear), to make the art that is asking to be made without thought to how it will be received. Yes, things may be different. It may get dicey for a while, life may get harder and worse instead of easier and better for a while. That’s okay…growing is hard work and sometimes, painful. Dare to live a more authentic life, dare to really, really live today (‘cause gonna be a long time until those babies are grown, let me tell you, and there’s a lotta living and a lotta artmaking to do in between now and then!) ;) Embrace change!

What healthy, good changes have you been resisting in your life? What’s been holding you back?

Next Week Monday: Seek Joy, Not Comfort.

Exploring Oahu

2009-11-07T00:35:02-10:00

We are having a grand ole' time wandering around and rediscovering this island that we live on, entertaining family that are visiting from Japan…here are some of the sights we’ve been seeing:

{Makapu'u Lookout}

{some kind of fruit…shaped like a persimmon, fuzzy like a peach, tastes like a soft ripe apple}

{something spiky and green…i think it might be a baby rambutan? i think…}

{dragonfruit…}

{avacado!}

2009-11-04T16:49:00-10:00

:) Took a day trip to the North Shore of Oahu this past weekend and had fun with my photos in iMovie. What fun! Enjoy...

The Indie Artist/Etsy Mom’s Guide to Maintaining Sanity, Thought #2: Know What Is Important to You (Defining Your Core Values).

2009-11-02T00:00:00-10:00

Thought #2: Know What is Important to You (Defining Your Core Values)

Etsy Mom, Jan Avellana here, at Hazelnut Cottage ;) Welcome to Thought #2 in our ten part series, “The Indie Artist/Etsy Mom’s Guide to Maintaining Sanity”! When was the last time you really sat down and in solitude, gave this some thought? When we understand the “big picture” of who we are and what we value, it helps us make the little every day choices and in the end we create a meaningful and rich life for ourselves and our families. And, it can help maintain sanity because you are not constantly waffling trying to please everyone. (Not that this describes any of US!)

To begin, ask yourself, “What are my core values? Who and what are the people, beliefs, ideas, things and experiences that I honestly hold most dear?” if you are stuck, this link contains a list of values (http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm) that might help you in creating your own personal list.

Chris Guileebeau’s site really says all of it better than I could, so for much more on this topic (and other neat resources), try going to his site.

Now, for some of us, this is exciting! For others, reflecting on what is truly important to us, and then looking at how our daily lives line up with our core values can reveal things we’d rather not deal with. Perhaps in this season you are so overwhelmed with life, and in your attempts just to make it through each day you’ve allowed yourself to slip into some unhealthy coping mechanisms that don’t reflect your true values and you’d really rather not go “there”. Fear not.

Today you get to start fresh. (And the truth is, every moment is a chance to start fresh!)

Pencil and Paper Time: Things to remember…this is the way I’ve devised that works for me. You may find that this is too structured for you…or, not structured enough. This space is for YOU, to encourage you to live a thoughtful, deliberately chosen life, so feel free to do what works for YOU.

1. Okay, start by listing your top ten values (I know ten sounds like a lot, but trust me, once you get started, it will be hard to narrow down your life to just ten!), the people, beliefs, ideas, things and experiences that you honestly hold most dear and find yourself—at least striving to—live out every day. You may not live these values out perfectly; no one does. But this is where we start. As you grow and change, so will your list. Make a commitment to invest in yourself for one guilt free hour today and have fun with it, then share your heart with us! Here are mine:

Jan’s Core Values:

Value 1: God and People Instead of Things
Value 2: Encouraging Others
Value 3: Authenticity
Value 4: Time and Experiences
Value 5: Deep Relationships
Value 6: Bravery Over Comfort
Value 7: Living with Passion
Value 8: Home
Value 9: Truth and Kindness
Value 10: Meaningful Creative Work that Has the Power to Transform Others

2. Now, write a statement—a paragraph—that shows what living out your values looks like. To do this, I simply chose to write “I will” statements, showing my intent to live out these values:

V1. Each morning when I awake I will connect with my Father, expressing gratefulness and a renew my joy in my life’s choices to be a work at home mom, so that I can spend as much time mama-ing my wee ones. V2. I will express love for my family and the people I encounter today by enjoying them in the moment, by giving them my attention, quantity and quality of time, love and encouragement. I will express self-love by practicing kindness and good self-care. V3. I will encourage others by being authentic—real and honest with myself and with others—about my fears, my failures, my successes, my hopes, my dreams, my preferences, my needs. V4/V5. I will live a life that is simple, a life that is not about accumulating things or pleasing people, one that allows me time to enjoy being a mom, to enjoy making art, to revel in being alive and enjoy deep and intimate relationships. V6/V7. I will choose bravery, healthy risks, and passion for life, over comfort. V8. I will create a warm, welcoming home for myself and my family and friends that celebrates beauty, safety and a respite from the world. V9. I will strive to speak words of truth and kindness to everyone I meet, that I may pour out as much grace on others as God has lavished on me. V10. I will live my life with passion and realness so that I might be used to inspire and transform others and be a light to help them discover the life God has for them in Jesus.

Now, the truth is, I live out my values in a sporadic, inconsistent manner. For most of us, we may find—that in the beginning at least—that we aren’t living out the values we profess very well at all. Remember dear woman, life is not about perfection, but about the living, the trying, the failing and the rising up to try again. We are all works in process, in progress and so too, our lives. The thing is to do the work of knowing what we really want to be about and then chart our course from there! For others of us, we may find that our statement affirms that we are indeed living our best lives. Hooray! Either way, celebrate the fact that you are alive today, right now and let us begin anew, in this moment, shall we?

May your statement help guide us as we journey through our lives and the myriad of decisions that govern our day, from the mundane to the truly risky. This is an exercise in helping us know what we want to be about and there are clues and rich lessons gained simply by going through this process of reflection. I pray that our personal statements would be “a light, when all others fail” (a quote from Galadriel to Frodo). When we get lost, may it be a compass to help point the way back to ourselves, the way back home.

What are you about? Grab a cuppa cocoa and tell us! Share your list of values and your statements here! ALL are warmly welcome to join our community!

Next Week Monday: Embrace Change.

A New Line of Hand-Painted Jewelry at Hazelnut Cottage on Etsy

2009-10-31T12:36:28-10:00

This new series from Hazelnut Cottage brings back memories of childhood innocence…(they look a bit like my new paintings, don’t they?), Sundays afternoons on Grandma’s porch and other simple pleasures. A charming and heart warming gift for yourself or someone you love, with more coming soon!

{Blue Bird of Happiness. Hand-Painted Necklace, Resin. $64}

{Love. Hand-Painted Necklace, Resin. $64}

{Magical. Hand-Painted Necklace, Resin. $64}

{Home. Hand-Painted Necklace, Resin. $64}

maybe.

2009-10-30T01:10:13-10:00

weak painting
and
illustration skills
it said…
very poor
drawing technique,
watercolor
is not
at all
accomplished…
you cannot draw very
well can you?
your drawings are
better when you
do them from
a photo, but still…
he said.
i laughed, i agreed.
what else could i do?
i was 19.
so I hid.
my desire,
my earnestness
to learn.
how silly
of me to think
I was there
at school
to learn to do such
marvelous things,
only reserved for
those who
already could.
two decades later
and I am beginning
to feel anger,
to mourn the
lost years,
to wonder about what
might have been.
a strength rises up within.
maybe even if I can’t,
I can learn.
maybe it will be fun
and
bring me joy,
and maybe
i will like it.
maybe they were wrong.
i wonder if they
ever thought about that?