The Heart of a Pastor

Emerging From Self-Doubt

2009-07-06T12:24:43-06:00

I have had several notes of late from your colleagues who, for whatever reason, find themselves in a struggle for significance. I have fought that battle myself from time to time.

In Rick Warren's book, The Purpose Driven Life, there is a thread that runs through it that says, once a person finds his or her place in society, there will be eternal impact. In other words, we will make a difference to God's glory. It seems that ministry can at times diminish one's effectiveness ... at least in our own eyes.

I have attempted to analyze — from the notes I receive from you and from my own perspective — why I feel that insignificance sometimes. As a result, I share the following unscientific conclusions:

We unfairly compare ourselves to others whose ministry might seem more effective.
We are in the midst of a battle with the power base in our organizations who don't accept our dreams.
We are fatigued, worn out from stressful ministry, and when we find ourselves in that condition, everything looks dim.
We may have forgotten that the church we serve is His church, and our people are His people.
It might just be that the source of our encouragement is being found in the praise of people rather than in the Lord through His Word and private worship.
There could be conflict in our families that complicates our lives. Unless we resolve those issues, we will always be in the negative.
Self pity is a lousy prison, and if we ever think God doesn't care, doesn't know our situation, or may have mistaken our assignment, we will be less than content! Give yourself a few minutes to pout, and then move on!
Just make up your mind to bloom where God has planted you. Greet each day with a smile, and end each day with a feeling that you have done your best.

I'm sure I have not exhausted the subject, but you can fill in the blanks. Read Philippians, chapter 4, especially Paul's words from v. 11 and 13, "I have learned to be content ... I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

I'd like to hear your comments. Use the "Comments" link below to let me know what you think. God bless you and your family.

Ministry to Your Men

2009-06-29T13:18:46-06:00

Several years ago, I made a few remarks regarding the local church's ministry to men in an interview for an article. The article was soon picked up around the country.

In the story, I was quoted as saying, "If they (pastors) would only buy into the economy of a ministry to men, they would find there's a new sense of purpose, exhilaration and meaning about what we do." I believe that with all of my heart.

Statistics have shown that there has been a decline for quite some time of younger male leadership and involvement in church activity. That may not be the case in your congregation, but the facts underscore the truth that, where men are involved in the church and committed to living a consistent Christlike life, the congregation is healthier and families are more stable.

I further believe that the pastor cannot simply pass the responsibility of a relevant men's ministry on to someone else. The pastor may not be required to head the endeavor, but he must be willing to participate. A successful attempt to reach the men of your congregation cannot be limited to activity; it needs to reproduce leadership.

The words of Paul are essential: "And the [instructions] which you have heard from me along with many witnesses, transmit and entrust [as a deposit] to reliable and faithful men who will be competent and qualified to teach others also" (2 Tim. 2:2, AMP).

If you would like more teaching on this subject, I would like to offer you a complimentary CD containing a two-part radio broadcast — "The Essential Role of Men's Ministry" — or a complimentary booklet we have produced called "The Pastor's Role in Establishing an Effective Men's Ministry." To request either or both, just send us an email to pastors@family.org and mention this blog and which of these items you would like. Be sure to include your mailing address, etc.

Please trust me on this one. It will transform your ministry.

Are You a Shepherd?

2009-06-22T02:00:00-06:00

Some time ago, I ran across a quote from one of the up-and-coming young pastors in America, discussing his role as a shepherd. When asked, "Should we stop talking about pastors as 'shepherds'?" this pastor responded, "Absolutely. That word needs to go away. Jesus talked about shepherds because there was one over there in a pasture he could point to. But to bring in that imagery today and say, 'Pastor, you're the shepherd of the flock,' no. I have never seen a flock. I've never spent five minutes with a shepherd. It was culturally relevant in the time of Jesus, but it's not culturally relevant any more."

I thought it to be a little irreverent, probably because I disagree with it. In fact, I found it to be a bit arrogant. Maybe it just struck me wrong or I didn't really understand where this prominent pastor was coming from. Anyway, it bothered me because I do see you as a shepherd of the flock, especially those of you in the mid-to-small-range churches who do not have a lot of help. I have written about this before because I think "pastor" and "shepherd" have many of the same characteristics.

One of the most amazing things we offer through our Pastoral Ministries effort at Focus on the Family is called "The Shepherd's Covenant." We emphasize it because we feel that you, as a shepherd, must live as an example to other believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity (1 Tim. 4:12), but also as a protector, provider and servant. I know it sounds like a lot, but there is great responsibility given to you that goes beyond administration, planning and preparation. Your flock (your congregation) must see you as someone who cares about them on an interpersonal level. Again, my opinion.

And by the way, even shepherds take care of themselves. A depleted shepherd is really not much good for his sheep. So, you must be a sensible shepherd. "When he (Jesus) saw them, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless" (Matt. 9:36).

I know some do this better than others, but you can't let yourself believe you can escape the shepherd role.

So, ... what say ye? Use the Comments link below to agree or disagree. I really care about what you think.

Are You Having Fun Yet?

2009-06-15T02:00:00-06:00

Okay, here is my Monday thought for you: Are you having any fun? Have you taken time for vacation? Do you have family plans for the 4th of July? Have you scheduled little "get-a-ways" (a day, a couple of hours, a date night) to reconnect with your spouse, your family — even your Lord?

Now, I know I'm bugging you — and I am not really practicing all that I preach — but, honest, if you don't schedule these times for "fun," you will miss something very special. So, some suggestions:

Unless you're taking a road trip or an extended vacation, don't take it all at once — spread it out!
Make your "day off" count, or add a day of vacation to your "day off." It will seem like a mini-vacation.
Ask your children, if they are still at home, what they would most enjoy doing on a day with you.
Just for the summer, plan a regular "take a walk," "eat some ice cream," or "ride a bike" with your spouse night. Then, see what happens when fall comes.
Do something you have wanted to do, but just haven't taken the time to do. For instance: "go fishing," "work on your car" or "go to a ballgame." I'm going to a game in July. Go Rockies!

Do you get my point? If you don't plan for fun, you may not have any. If you don't put it on your calendar, it will most likely never happen. Do something impromptu for a change. Have a great week — a fun week!!

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance" (Prov. 15:13). "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Prov. 17:22). You know what that means? It means you look forward to joyful times and to laughing out loud. Now please, go have some fun!

A Father's Day Perspective -- Priceless!

2009-06-08T02:00:00-06:00

"And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him" (Luke 2:40).

Okay, dad, let's be realistic. When it comes to comparing dads with moms, there is no comparison. For instance, consumers are expected to spend $98.34 each year on dad; they spend $139.14 on mom.

Father's Day is most popular in the Midwest (77.1% celebrate), less so in the West (74.4%). Roughly 70 percent of dads will get a greeting card, according to the National Retail Federation and the Greeting Card Association.

What makes Father's Day so "priceless" is the number of dads in our great country. There are approximately 64.3 million fathers in our nation. An estimated 26.5 million of those dads are married with children under the age of 18 — millions who have the "priceless" opportunity to influence their children and direct their lives properly.

The challenge comes, however, when each dad must decide how involved he will be in his child's life. That decision is "priceless."

When I have an opportunity to participate in a Father's Day service, I like to emphasize three things.

1. Fathering must be intentional. Parenting of any value does not leave the results to chance. Dads must take seriously the development of their family.

2. Fathering must be patient and loving. Dads need to be involved. That means we are called to show love in such a way that our children can model our behavior. Showing love to their mom is a great start — loving them is "priceless."

3. Fathering must be spiritual. For a child to properly develop as a whole person, he or she needs a dad with biblical values, and one who puts into practice his faith. Statistics prove that families with godly dads, in the end, have a better result.

Bottom line: Dad — you're "priceless"!!

Eternal Investments

2009-05-25T02:00:00-06:00

Today is our nation's celebration of Memorial Day. I can't help but think about the people who have contributed to my life and ministry. Most of them have passed on now, but their memories remain very vivid. How about you? Can you identify those in your life who have enabled you to reach your present position?

Next, consider into whose life are you contributing? Paul wrote "To Titus, my true son of our common faith ... in everything, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech" (Titus 1:4, 2:7, 8). In other words, invest in the younger generation as others have invested in you.

Memorial Day provides you the opportunity to discuss with your family the many names upon whose shoulders you stand — who have made an eternal investment in you. Please include in those discussions any of your family's ancesters who have sacrificed as part of this nation's military — which allows us to discuss and remember in a free country. That is, after all, the pure intent of this holiday. Then, live this entire week consciously aware of the eternal investments you are making in the lives of those around you. You will be remembered during God's Memorial Day in heaven.

I would welcome any comments you might have on this blog entry or on Memorial Day itself. Just click on the "Comments" link below.

And, if you need to talk with someone about an issue being faced by you or someone in your family, call our toll-free Pastoral Care Line at (877) 233-4455, or contact us at pastors@family.org, or visit our Web site and submit a prayer request for your family that our Pastoral Ministries team can lift to the Lord next Wednesday. We really care about you!