tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-174474902024-12-19T11:19:07.477+08:00talk over the dining tablejosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.comBlogger199125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-45155974321942603282014-12-08T14:39:00.000+08:002014-12-08T14:39:17.820+08:00

yesterday i dislocated my shoulder. this was the most painful experience i have ever had in my entire life. seriously. and i have a high threshold for physical pain. my jaw and neck muscles are sore now because of all the almost-screams i had to do to make the pain a little more bearable when they popped the shoulder back into its socket. see those x-rays? the after x-ray is how normal

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-9213587850521361312014-11-28T16:09:00.000+08:002014-11-28T16:10:29.286+08:00

it began with a band of gold all shiny and full of promise eighteen years of bliss it ends with ashes veiled behind a silvered tear - 28 november 2014

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-10347271547147767082014-09-15T21:07:00.002+08:002014-09-15T21:08:37.848+08:00

you weren't really into me. i found that out rather belatedly. i was the second choice, maybe even the third. i wasn't tall enough or rich enough or handsome enough or good looking enough. looking back i was just company because there was no one else around to lavish you with the attention you wanted. it was a pity because you were huge to me. i was really into you and i was really happy because

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-46795129766362392452014-08-23T00:00:00.000+08:002014-08-23T00:00:04.880+08:00

for my beacon, my north. my mother.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-60859694265111897182014-08-22T20:49:00.000+08:002014-08-22T20:49:08.348+08:00

a thousand times i have thought of you today i saw a thousand thoughts of you today at school, near the sea, always near the sea. a thousand times i have missed you today of you i saw, a thousand fleeting memories, and a thousand fading pictures setting with the sleepy sun.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-57800514626064365712014-07-27T21:25:00.002+08:002014-07-27T21:25:50.990+08:00

the old songs follow the rain carrying a chestful of fading pictures, a blanket full of unfinished dreams, and a notebook filled with unsaid words. sometimes, i enjoy these short visits of almost forgotten memories sometimes.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-76180325740209903732014-07-15T22:18:00.004+08:002014-07-15T22:18:48.327+08:00

i visited the resting grounds, the grass still carrying night's tears. marble and crosses awake to a brightening sky, guarding the remnants of lives. underneath is what remains, but she is not here. this is not where she stays.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-48949898803921470962014-07-06T23:18:00.001+08:002014-07-06T23:18:49.836+08:00

i understand that people have secrets. i think it becomes a requirement as people grow older. we acquire them through the passage of time, as we go through the trials and travails of this thing we call life. but as i was observing you, you seem to have more secrets than most which i think is ... unhealthy. why do you have so many truths to hide? it must be lonely -- keeping things to yourself,

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-1130455462056824562014-06-01T21:25:00.000+08:002014-06-01T21:35:31.180+08:00

31 may 2014 we laid mom to rest today. it was bright and warm and the skies were a patchwork of heavy clouds. a few steps away from her place is a young pine tree. finding where she is should be easy. as we were lowering her, the skies opened up and it rained. it was cold and it was refreshing. as they were refilling the soil my brother and i came for a closer look -- i suppose to say our

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-37491081344876831842014-05-29T06:33:00.002+08:002014-05-29T06:33:47.501+08:00

like i told a friend, "it feels like i'm in a boat without a paddle and the water is getting stronger". and all i can do is be taken by the currents.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-45010868968247141582014-05-16T10:09:00.002+08:002014-05-16T15:41:50.254+08:00

i have a hard time letting go of things. of objects. especially if i've used that thing/object for quite some time. its like i formed some sort of a good working relationship with it that its just difficult letting go. i have taken to naming objects. my bike frame is called 'chayong', the car's name is 'chong'. i'm selling my car. i'm selling chong. well, its my dad's car but i've been driving

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-35119863451633129762014-04-28T17:49:00.002+08:002014-04-28T17:49:52.751+08:00

my girlfriend has cancer. it came, like the monster that it is, silently and slowly at first. then she had night sweats even on cold nights. then she started losing weight and gets easily fatigued. we had her tested and i guess we caught it early enough that there was a small debate if the biopsy samples were benign or malignant. but the doctor noticed that the cancer was aggressive.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-48503079682468058592014-04-27T08:36:00.000+08:002014-04-27T08:36:24.200+08:00

you have sad eyes. despite the smile that covers your lips and the apparent bounce in your gait, your eyes are sad. i dare not think of what those eyes see or the thoughts that hide behind them. but i am a curious bastard. i want to know the story behind the sad eyes. i want to know why they became sad.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-41177825182590638432014-04-26T18:31:00.000+08:002014-04-26T18:31:21.037+08:00

i changed my name in this blog. because my name hadn't felt that way for a while now.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-40754604023680118862014-04-25T00:27:00.000+08:002014-04-25T00:27:00.186+08:00

this video reminds me so much about you. i remember watching the concert on betamax but it felt that we were there in central park as part of the crowd. it was still light when we found our patch of grass just some ways off to the right of the stage near a line of trees. we got comfortable and sat down on the blanket with out bottles of water and waited for the music to start. i also remember

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-7116669106234824702014-04-13T20:41:00.000+08:002014-04-13T20:41:45.339+08:00

"aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo?" an old proverb that my tita used to say. roughly translated, it says,"what use is the grass when the horse is already dead"

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-39491589352534162962014-04-12T23:19:00.000+08:002014-04-15T07:12:42.828+08:00

sometimes i tire of people of prayer of life. once i feared waking up empty but now it seems that its all i do.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-68308754274629261362014-04-10T22:03:00.000+08:002014-04-27T18:22:15.293+08:00

you never really believe it until it hits you. until its there at your front steps knocking at your gate. and even after you've opened the door you still have a difficult time believing it. i'm still in denial. ever the optimist, i am still hoping for the best of the situation. i don't feel angry yet. angry at the situation. at people. at the world. at life. at god.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-76038041543871359562014-04-07T21:19:00.000+08:002014-04-07T21:19:00.511+08:00

she was there after thousands of miles she just walks in and she was there after a glimpse of familiarity, a small happy smile, a small wave of the hand. after a brief hello and after a handful of small words a fleeting handshake that meant a thousand stars that meant a farewell that meant my goodbye. – 20 january 2014 written for that january 18 afternoon in cafe adriatico

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-4476394383371187282014-04-05T09:37:00.000+08:002014-04-05T09:37:02.840+08:00

skin on skin your warmth mixing with mine i slip under a blanket of sleep content.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-78472766931344203522014-04-03T08:30:00.000+08:002014-04-03T08:30:00.962+08:00

i've re-taken up photography when i got myself a digital slr camera last september. the photo below (which is my background for this blog) is one of the photos i took of sampaloc lake in san pablo city during one sunrise using a prime lens.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0Sampaloc Lake, San Pablo City, Philippines14.0791019 121.3298584000000314.0637004 121.30968840000004 14.094503399999999 121.35002840000003tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-69275150242607966612014-04-01T11:05:00.002+08:002014-04-01T11:05:15.577+08:00

right past midnight i look for the feel of her hand warm and soft among the sheets i am falling in love again

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-69855715908857123162008-01-19T21:35:00.000+08:002008-01-20T07:25:05.568+08:00

at least i think so... most of the time...in an attempt at simplicity, i am consolidating most of my active blogs into one. this one.why? so that i have just a single place to update and maintain. it gets a little tedious updating multiple sites and keeping track of what's in them. this move will also force me to dive deeper into sql and php programming which is what wordpress is based on.i will

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-36226108405925148572007-12-12T16:45:00.000+08:002007-12-12T17:00:57.975+08:00

the christmas vacation feel has set in. but school is not over yet. some of the people i'm working with are unwillingly sliding into that vacation mode already. the weather is cooler which doesn't really help.the neighborhood too seems quieter. slower.robin is swimming in vacation mode. he doesn't want to go to school. lazy. he wants his gifts from santa yesterday.and i've been wanting to go to

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17447490.post-52250312658743515882007-12-05T17:54:00.000+08:002007-12-05T17:55:46.573+08:00

its been running in my head since this morning. its crazy.

josehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17816226414732320378noreply@blogger.com0