It’s always worse when I can’t identify the source of my sadness because then I think about EVERYTHING, and that’s never a good thing. I think about my life, friends, family, career…and nothing…nothing seems to be going right. What is right anyway? All I know is I’m old, I’m getting divorced, my work environment is not mentally healthy for me anymore, I’ve managed to ruin a great friendship, I feel estranged from my family because of the divorce, I’m turning back into a McFatty, I’m ugly…blah, blah, blah. I know, who invited Negatron to the party, right? I hate it. I hate when I start having the pity parties, but my pity party came to a crashing halt….big time.

Some good friends of mine found out their 2-year-old daughter has a rare type of childhood cancer. She has already had the first of four chemo treatments. It just breaks my heart. Here I am complaining about turning into a McFatty because I’m too depressed and lazy to exercise, when a sweet, innocent child has to take on something she is too young still to understand. I realize how grateful I am for the life I have been given, but at the same time my heart just sinks when I think about what this little girl and her parents have to go through. I will some links for my friend’s daughter soon, when I’m not feeling so emotionally drained. For now, check out her Facebook page at Super Maeve to follow her journey.

Most days, I can pull myself out of the funk…at least enough to make it to bedtime, but sometimes the sadness just consumes me. And this is just one of those times. When the feelings sadness, helplessness, and hopelessness begin to sink in, it can be overwhelming. I just have to continue to remind myself that it’s okay if the frowns win today, because tomorrow (and there will be a tomorrow), the smiles will take over.

Much love,
Hanh

Being the youngest of three siblings, I always had someone looking out for me and taking care of me, whether I needed it or not. If it wasn’t my parents, then it was my sisters. Marriage was the same way, while I didn’t need to rely on my husband to take care of me, as the primary breadwinner, he did in many ways. Yeah, I worried about life and bills and stuff…but I didn’t really worry about them because someone was always helping me out. So, going through this separation and divorce has forced me out of my comfort zone for sure. I’m still trying to find solid ground, but it’s made me realize that for the first time in my life I have to take care of me. For the first time in my life I’m truly living on my own and that’s scary.

But when the course of your life doesn’t force you out of your comfort zone, you have to be brave enough to challenge yourself or you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Last weekend I went snowboarding with some friends. It was AWESOME. I had never skied or gone snowboarding before, so it was new for me. Yes, it was frustrating and I was on my butt most of the time but I had so much fun! I was so scared and felt like I was flying down the mountain, but a friend of mine took a video of me riding and I was going sooo slow Hahaha BUT I was moving And isn’t that what life is all about? Moving? Forward or backward, up or down…it doesn’t matter what direction you move in as long as you are able to learn and keep moving.

Being still means staying in your comfort zone. But if you want to grow, you’ve got to break through that wall and see what’s out there! Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself because when you do, it gives you the strength and courage to do so much more! Snowboarding was a real challenge for me (and I have the bruises to prove it!), but now I’m thinking about the next new thing I’m going to try!

I lost a significant amount of weight early in 2012 due to stress from my marriage and contemplating separation. I stopped eating, stopped working out regularly, and even drank more, but I was still losing weight from the stress. I was feeling more depressed and more anxious every day. Divorce is never easy, it doesn’t matter what side of the fence you’re on. Everyone suffers, everyone is hurt. Everyone.

I always believe that mental health and physical health go hand in hand, and that has been apparent with how I have stopped working out due to the stress of the separation and divorce. However, I also know the benefits of working out. I know that if I just workout, I will feel better inside and out. And that’s the truth. But taking the first step back is always the hardest part. Always.

I started by going back to my Turbokick classes, only once a week every other week, maybe. But it’s a start. I also got my lazy butt out last weekend and ran 5 miles, again running wasn’t the hard part…it’s just putting on those shoes. Of course, that’s only in preparation for the 10 miles I’ll be running in two weeks. Eeek! But I registered for it because while it will be challenging, I know I can do it.

This new year is truly bringing about new changes and a new path for me, and I am terrified. Some days I feel like I just can’t do it, some days I feel like I can, other days I know that I can. This new path will have hills and it will have mountains, huge mountains, but I know I will make it. I always do.

Remember, eating healthy is a habit…and like all other habits, it takes time to develop. It’s a lifestyle change and it won’t happen overnight. Give yourself room for error because no one is perfect. Sometimes, it’s okay to have your cake and eat it too

Find your “soul mate” workout. This is SO important. Your soul mate workout, and you’ll know it when you find it, is the workout that you actually look forward to doing. It’s the workout program that makes you want to exercise. For some of you it might be running or swimming. For me, it was Turbokick (the BEST cardio-kickboxing class ever!). Think it’s impossible to look forward to exercising? That just means you haven’t found your soul mate workout yet, but it’s out there. Keep looking

Use a food scale and measuring cups. You won’t know how many servings you’re really eating unless you measure it. Invest in a small food scale for your home. Measuring cups are also very useful. We may reward ourselves with low-fat ice cream, and according to the package one serving is only 100 calories. If we look closely, one serving may only be 1/2 cup. Our two scoops might actually be more than 1/2 cup, so we’re actually eating more than 100 calories, and sometimes it might be double what we are thinking. So, to avoid that underestimating how much you are eating, measure out your portions properly. The more you do it, the easier it will be and you won’t need to use the scale and measuring cups anymore because you will be able to tell just by looking at your food.

Drink a meal replacement shake every day. A meal replacement shake can be helpful because it provides you with the ideal nutrients of a single meal without all the extra fat and calories, especially if you are short on time and may have no choice but to eat out. There are plenty of meal replacement shakes out there. Find what works for you. Those of you who know me, know that I love, love, love my Shakeology®. I’ve been drinking it for almost two years now and I don’t like to go a day without it. Shakeology is made of tons of good-for-you stuff, including over 70 all-natural ingredients. I’ve even done side-by-side comparisons with other meal replacement shakes such as Slim Fast, and the others don’t even compare in nutritional value and ingredients. It’s about $5 a serving and it’s much healthier (and cheaper) than that extra value meal at McDonalds, soup and sandwich from Panera, or that salad that becomes not-so-healthy once it’s drenched in high-fat dressing.

As some of you may already know, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II in 2007. Being first-generation American and growing up in a home with traditional Vietnamese values, I found it difficult to deal to seek treatment for issues in which I knew I needed professional help. Many cultures, including the Vietnamese culture, do not believe in sharing personal business or information with strangers. So, for several years, I struggled with my depression alone. I finally made the decision to seek therapy when I saw that my mental illness was destroying my relationships with loved ones.

For National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, I shared my story with Flipswitch (in association with the The Balanced Mind Foundation). The interview has been broken up into two parts, and each part is less than 10 minutes long. Please visit their website for additional interviews discussing minorities and mental illness. If you are a minority and struggle with the stigma of mental illness from the American culture, as well as your native culture, I hope you can relate to these stories and know that you are not alone.

PART 1:

PART 2:

I recently attended a two-day camp designed to help individuals become fitness presenters. The camp was amazing and included segments on public speaking, teaching a fitness class, delivering workshops, and developing your personal brand. While I have not yet started teaching my own fitness class, I knew this was an excellent opportunity to learn how to become an excellent instructor and presenter in an open, friendly environment. I know I have a long way to go before becoming a Turbokick instructor, but I did go to camp feeling confident in my form and appearance. However, by the end of the first day, after practicing on the microphone, listening to critiques from my peers, and having difficulty identifying my personal brand, I felt defeated. I started thinking to myself, “Maybe I’m not cut out to be a fitness instructor.” I began to cringed at the thought of having to return to camp the next day. I honestly didn’t want to go back. I was in tears over dinner after that first night as my sweet husband tried to console and encourage me.

As I went to bed, I remembered something I read in The Magic of Thinking Big, by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. He wrote that one of the main differences between successful and unsuccessful people is how they deal with unpleasant situations. Unsuccessful people remember the events clearly and “take it to heart,” whereas successful people don’t give it another thought. It made me realize, I was taking the critiques personally. I had to remind myself that I registered for that camp so that I could learn how to be a better presenter and instructor. I needed to be more confident in myself and in order to do that, I had to get rid of the negative thinking (e.g., I’m not good enough, I can’t do this, this isn’t for me, etc.) and start thinking more positively. I fell asleep thinking about how fortunate I was to be surrounded by so many supportive people in my life and how my peers at camp were there to help me. I returned the next day and finished camp and went home with a great sense of accomplishment and created a list of things I needed to work on everyday to become a better instructor.

It is clear that any negative thought, if fertilized with repeated recall, can develop into a real mind monster, breaking down confidence and paving the way to serious psychological difficulties. ~ Dr. David J. Schwartz

If you want to succeed, you need to fill your mind with positive thoughts and stop the negative thoughts before they became “mental monsters.” Suppose you were going on a long, strenuous hike in the mountains, and this is the first time you’ve ever been on a hike categorized as strenuous. Before you leave, you’re thinking to yourself, “I don’t know if I can do this.” As you’re climbing the mountain, you slowly gain confidence and half way up the mountain you begin to feel excited about reaching the summit. When you get to the summit and look around at the amazing view and you feel a great sense of accomplishment and achievement. Why…because rather than thinking to yourself, “I can’t make it to the top” and turning back around, you thought to yourself, “I can do it.” You filled your mind with positive thoughts rather than negative thoughts. Every step you convinced yourself to take up that mountain was a stepping stone to greater confidence.

* Fear is absolutely, positively, 100% real.
* Fear is success enemy number one.
* There is only one cure for fear: Action.

If you want to build your confidence and you want to be successful, you have to get rid of the one thing that is holding you back: FEAR. Fear is real. We are creatures of habit. We’re comfortable with things just the way they are, but we don’t like they way they are. If you’ve got goals for yourself…if you want to change your life…then you have to ask yourself, “What’s holding me back? What am I afraid of?” Is it fear of failure? Or is it fear of rejection? Perhaps it is fear of disappointing others. Whatever your fear is, you have to know, understand, and acknowledge it before you can ever overcome it.

Fear can, and will, hinder your success…in all aspects of life, including work, school, personal relationships. It is success enemy number one. Fear can stop you from doing things you want to do, from becoming the type of person you want to be…the type of person you can be. You have to remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. The only thing stopping you from doing what you want to do is you. So, how do you overcome your fear? You have to take action. If you don’t like the where you are in life, then take some action. Make some changes. You cannot expect your life to be any different if you continue to do the same thing day in and day out.

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein

Take new, different steps. Do something you wouldn’t normally do. In order to success, you have to get out of your comfort zone because outside of your comfort zone is where you really begin to grow. The more you take action, the more confidence you have. The more confidence you have, the easier it is to overcome your fears.

Don’t be afraid to travel down a different road. You have to learn to live outside your comfort zone because that is where change happens.