Before I started my business about 6 years ago, I had this idea of what being my own boss would be like.

Make my own hours, create whatever I want, make as much money as I want instead of waiting for review time (and whatever percentage raise the company decided to give me).

All of it sounded so appealing.

No more sitting in traffic!

No more fluorescent lighting and freezing cold office temps! (What is it with the A/C in most offices? My fingers and nose were ALWAYS FROZEN.)

No more sitting in meetings talking about the same thing over and over again for weeks and months on end!

And as I write that out, it’s like, “Yes, it’s so true, I don’t have to do ANY of that anymore! Whooooo hooo!”

And yet.

Business can be SO freaking hard.

So, so hard.

WAY harder than I had ever imagined.

There were times in my business that I struggled so badly that if someone had come knocking on my door with a salaried position, I would have said, “Okay, YES, rescue me from this madness! Give me a paycheck and a place to go every day — a container, clear responsibilities that someone else has set for me. Own me!!”

Seriously.

The irony of all this ‘freedom’ that you get with entrepreneurship is that you ALSO have to be the one to set up all the structure.

You have to discipline yourself.

You have to decide what needs to be done and then DO it.

Maybe that doesn’t sound very hard.

For some people, it’s probably actually NOT that hard.

For the rest of us who can get all up in our heads and start to doubt ourselves, or get lost down a rabbit hole of information (and indecision), or just get impatient because things aren’t moving FAST enough, dammit. . .

Well, for us, entrepreneurship ain’t easy.

Is it worth it?

HELLZ YES.

It’s worth it to stick it out.

Even in my darkest times, when I felt like if someone would just show up magically with a job offer and I'd take it. . .

I KNEW that if I went back to corporate life. . .

I’d be like a zoo animal that had spent years in captivity, then escaped and figured out how to survive in the big, scary wild — and then been caught and brought back “home” to confinement.

Like, yeah, I’d have the certainty of mealtime (a regular paycheck).

I wouldn’t have to run from tigers and lions (I.e. ride the crazy 'fear rollercoaster' that entrepreneurship can be).

I would again be ‘comfortable’ and not have to ALWAYS perform at the highest level to succeed (when you work for a company you can have a bad day or week or even a month and, as long as you’re performing reasonably well overall, you’ll still get your paycheck).

But. . . I wasn’t born to be comfortable.

I wasn’t born to be safe.

I wasn’t born to perform ‘adequately.’

I was born to EXCEL.

I was born to LEAD.

I was born to INSPIRE.

I was born to SERVE.

I was born to MAKE MY OWN RULES.

Is this you, too?

Are you born for all of this. . .

And yet, not showing up for yourself the way you KNOW you could?

Are you abso-fucking-lutely POSITIVE you’re made for greatness. . .

But you’re making excuses for why you’re not further along?

Here’s the deal.

I know you have a busy life.

EVERYONE does.

We’ve got chores and significant others and friends and kids and fur babies.

Things come up, right when you thought you’d have time to sit down and do your creative work.

Disasters, even.

Someone gets sick.

Your kid goes through a rough patch at school.

The car breaks down.

The dog gets fleas.

The house needs repairs.

These things happen.

There’s no denying that you have shit going on in your life that makes it HARD to show up and create what you keep saying you want to create.

But the thing is. . .

It’s actually not SUPPOSED to be easy.

There is no time in the future when it’s gonna START being easy.

There’s no time when you’re gonna find yourself sitting around with nothing but TIME and ALL THE MOTIVATION IN THE WORLD to get started.

That is a fairytale.

IT WILL NOT HAPPEN.

You know how I know?

Because look around — notice how many people in the world aren’t really truly happy and fulfilled.

They’re just going through the motions.

They’re ‘fine.’

But are they really out-of-this-world fan-fucking-tastic?

Nope.

And hey. . . I’m not knocking ‘fine.’

I think some people are really wired to be ‘fine’ and they’ll be that way their whole lives and that’s awesome.

I envy those people in a way, even.

Because to them, it’s not imperative to DO SOMETHING AMAZING WITH THIS LIFE.

But to you and me. . .

It’s not an option to just go through life and kinda get by.

WE ARE BORN FOR GREATNESS.

So if you’re born for greatness. . .

Why are you letting all these ordinary things (that EVERYONE has to deal with) get in the way of what you really want?

Why are you not showing up for yourself the way you KNOW you are capable of doing?

I’m not being heartless here, because I know (I seriously know) what it feels like to be overwhelmed and confused and not know where to start or what to do next or how to find TIME when it seems like I really don’t have any.

But I also know that all of that stuff is just self-sabotage.

It’s the basic battle between “good and evil” playing out inside your psyche.

It’s your unconscious inner masochist hiding in the shadows, telling you that things are way too hard. . .

While your conscious mind is well aware that it wants SO MUCH MORE.

We have to heal this battle, my friend.

I say ‘heal’ because to fight it is pointless. Resistance only makes that inner masochist stronger and more clever and better at hiding from you.

We need to bring this whole battle into the light and HEAL it.

Understand it.

Become conscious of it.

DO THE INNER WORK of transforming it.

This is the most important work we will ever do, on our way to making our dreams come true.

Somewhere deep inside, you know this.

You KNOW that all the circumstances in your life aren’t keeping you stuck.

You know that YOU are keeping you stuck.

It’s time to stop feeling bad about that and start DOING something about it.

You CAN do something about it.

Yes, YOU.

There is absolutely no reason for you to spend another moment flailing about wondering if you’re ever really gonna get yourself into gear.

Here’s what to do instead.

DECIDE.

Decide that you will do whatever it takes to put (and keep) your dream in motion.

Every single day, decide that you will show up for yourself.

Where do you need to show up for yourself?

You already know, right?

You need to write.

You need to create.

You need to take care of yourself.

You need to stop raiding the pantry for sweets.

You need to put the wine glass down.

You need to wake up early instead of sleeping in.

You need to stop browsing Facebook 12x/day.

You need to stop looking at what everyone else is doing and start doing your OWN thing.

You need to stop looking at people who are way further along than you and allowing yourself to feel discouraged.

You need to stop spending ANY time feeling sorry for yourself, or bad about what you have or haven’t done in the past, or wishing and hoping that things in your business and life were different.

You need to be present and create from HERE and NOW.

You need to do any or all of those things, or something else entirely.

Start now. Make a list.

What do you need to do to SHOW UP for yourself?

Make the list, read it every single day.

And then do the things.

It’s actually really simple when you remove that whole ‘angst’ thing from the equation.

(And believe me, I can only call out the ‘angst’ thing ‘cause I’ve spent plenty of time there!!)

Just get on with the things that need to be done.

You only get this ONE life (this time around at least).

How long are you willing to wait to do something AMAZING with your life?

I say, start now.

Because, remember: YOU create your reality. So stop settling for “good enough” and start getting what you really want.

I’ve been much, much quieter than I’d like to be, for quite some time now.

And today, I feel like I can’t stay quiet anymore.

I had a session with a new Second Prime client the other day and shared a particular perspective with her that (seemingly) had nothing to do with her business – but she was so grateful that I shared it with her, because it helped lift a great burden from her psyche.

(And in case you hadn’t noticed – having a great burden on your psyche is bad for your business because it will keep you stuck and scared.)

So I’m feeling called to share this perspective with you, too.

Especially because it’s not coming from ME, but from a place deep within – the divine essence that is trying to ‘do its thing’ through me (and you, and all of us).

Here’s the deal.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve noticed that there is a great deal of upheaval in the world right now.

Now, I have a difficult time broaching the subject of upheaval because, honestly, I take a spiritual view of things. That is, while almost everyone else is expressing worry, fear, and outrage while bemoaning the sad state of affairs of the world. . .

I’m one hundred percent positive that everything that’s happening around us is SUPPOSED to be happening.

Even if the ‘worst’ happens.

Even if the ‘evil’ candidate becomes POTUS.

Yes, even if that happens!

Notice how I didn’t say who the ‘evil’ candidate is?

That’s because there IS no ‘evil’ candidate. There are only the perceptions that exist within each of us.

The truth is, YOUR chosen candidate is someone ELSE’S ‘evil’ candidate. And you’re absolutely sure that they’re wrong. (While they are equally sure that you’re wrong. And round and round it goes. . .)

Now, I’m not writing to you to debate politics.

In fact, I’m very sensitive about voicing my opinion about politics, or any social issue for that matter (which is why I’ve been so quiet lately).

Why? Because my opinion is probably one of the least popular around: put simply, I believe that NO ONE is right and NO ONE is wrong.

(Oh hey, I just remembered that Peter Frampton is with me on this one. Cool.)

And I also believe this: I believe that there is a force – a creator – behind this physical world.

I don’t think it’s a dude sitting up in the clouds. I do think it’s an energy that moves humanity forward.

And this energy, which pervades and permeates every speck of the universe, knows what the f* it’s doing.

It’s not sitting somewhere, outside of this universe, wringing its hands, watching helplessly as humanity destroys itself.

(Just as its not wringing its hands standing idly by while YOU run into obstacle after obstacle as you go after your dreams.)

This energy is creating all of the experiences in the world (including what goes on in your individual life) to help us wake up from the illusion that we are somehow separate from it, and thus unsafe and alone.

You see, the more challenges we face, the more we seek meaning.

When things are going great and we’re swinging in our hammocks sipping on an umbrella drink watching the sun set over a clear blue ocean (metaphorically or otherwise). . .

We’re having FUN, yes, but we’re not growing.

And guess what? We aren’t ONLY here to relax and have fun.

We’re here to rise to the occasion and expand into the fullest expression of ourselves – our TRUE selves – that we can possibly be.

So the irony of the human existence is that, since we know deep down inside that we are divine and that ‘heaven’ is our birthright and our true home, we spend our lives feeling like things SHOULD be better than they are.

And yet, all of the ‘bad’ things that are happening are supposed to be happening.

They are supposed to be happening so that we can continue to find our way home.

And there’s more. YOUR life has a particular path, whether you see it or not right now.

Who you are in the world matters, and what you do is needed.

Even if you’ve maybe spent YEARS ‘thinking’ about what you want to do but not actually doing it yet.

There is a desire planted deep within you.

(Have you noticed?)

And that desire points to your unique path, at this time, on this planet.

It’s not just a desire for more ‘stuff’ – more money and material goods. Not that money or material goods are somehow wrong. It’s just that the desire that’s been planted deep in your heart is for something even greater.

Your true desire is for contribution. For making a difference in the world. For experiencing the joy of working and living from your divine essence and having an impact on others.

The reason I do the work I do is because drawing that desire out of you is my passion in life.

Specifically, my passion is to help you discover your unique contribution, learn how to profit from it while helping others, and then use those profits to continue to bless yourself and the world.

I believe (and I bet you do, too) that, while business is about profits, it's also about purpose.

It’s about helping you see your deep connection to all of life, and your individual role on this grand planet (and yes, it IS a grand planet full of amazing souls – no matter what the media says – if you choose to see it that way).

It’s about having the certainty that you can and WILL succeed at your business and enjoy the fulfillment that is your divine birthright.

And even more than that, it’s about having the certainty that you (and the rest of the world) are right where you need to be.

That there is meaning behind all of it – your individual struggles as well as the struggles of humanity.

That we aren’t going to hell in a hand basket, individually or collectively.

As I said before, I’ve been pretty darn quiet lately, on social media and otherwise.

But I can’t be quiet any longer.

I’m stating my intention right now to allow the divine energy that created this entire universe to use me (and others) more fully as a channel for the message that everything is okay.

That we are loved, and that all is well, and that the ‘disasters’ we see around us are merely the illusion that we can somehow, in some way, become separated from this divine energy.

(I’m not denying reality here – I realize that tragedy happens and it hurts and it feels very real. I’m speaking from the perspective that there is something greater than humanity and its suffering, and that we are part of that something greater.)

On a practical level, I’m feeling called to work with more women in expressing their own unique messages in a more powerful way.

As I mentioned, I felt called to write this after speaking with one of my clients - because even though it doesn't seem to be related to manifesting the business you desire, it's actually inextricably related.

If you are spending any significant portion of your time (and by that I mean more than 10 minutes a day) scrolling through news articles and Facebook and what-have-you, worrying about what's going to happen next and feeling like the world isn't 'okay' the way it is right now. . .

Then you are doing yourself a disservice, and you're holding yourself back in your business (and life), guaranteed.

So if what I’m saying here is resonating with you, then the work I currently do with clients may be perfect for you, and I invite you to explore it fully and discover how your own unique life path fits in with exactly what is happening right NOW.

The way I see it, the present time can either be an extremely distressing time for each of us – or it can be a time of intense growth, expansion, and abundance in all areas of life.

(Just as every individual challenge you face holds either of those possibilities.)

I would be more than honored to help you create the latter possibility – for yourself and your loved ones.

(There are, of course, limited spots available for this work and, quite frankly, it’s not for everyone. It’s only for you if you’re truly serious about gaining certainty in yourself, your business, and your place in the world – and experiencing the success that comes with that.)

I didn’t write this, though, solely to direct the conversation to the work I do.

I wrote it for you if you’ve been feeling scared and small and like things are out of control in the world (or just in your world).

Please don’t give in to the illusion.

You are divine, and you are divinely connected.

And there is NO tragedy, or injustice, or political candidate that can separate you from your divine essence.

The divine essence – the source of ALL that is – has stuff handled.

(Don't believe me? Consider this: it's impossibly to truly believe in an omnipotent force, or source, or god, that is omnipotent except when it comes to terrorism, or gun violence, or rape, or bigotry, or any other injustice or oppression or tragedy. As in, “Yes, God, we trust you. But truthfully, we're really terrified that you can't handle it.”)

Yes, of course we have free will and are certainly called to act where we feel it is necessary to act.

However. . .

The worry, the fear, the buying-into-the-media-headlines stuff, and the belief that we have to ‘fix things’ that ‘shouldn’t’ be happening. . . please don’t do that.

Do what you feel called to do, yes.

Just don’t do it from the standpoint of right vs. wrong, or fixed vs. broken, or good vs. evil.

Do it from the knowledge that you’re here to play out your part in the grand game that is life – a game that started long before you got here, and that will continue for who-knows-how-long.

And do it with the intention to play out your part in alignment with the divine essence within you, instead of buying into the idea that your ego is all you are.

Take a deep breath, turn off the news, click away from Facebook, and tune into your own divine connection.

And wake up to the truth that everything is as it should be, and that everything is unfolding for our good, and that we are all okay. 

(Like, oh. . . I dunno – around “99%” of the population?)

In other areas a good portion of us are doing at least okay. I mean, a LOT more than 1% of the population is in a happy relationship, or enjoying pretty good health, or liking the work they do pretty well, or feeling fairly fulfilled spiritually.

But with money, there’s this massive disparity. And I think it’s because most of what we’re taught in life is just plain ANTI-MONEY.

We’re taught in school to do things ‘right’ – color inside the lines, get the right answer, be quiet, sit still, learn at the same pace as everyone else. Not exactly the kind of habits that the most successful leaders and entrepreneurs demonstrate.

And those of us who explore a more ‘spiritual’ path (I’m using that term rather tongue-in-cheek here) are taught to spend more time intending and visualizing and getting into alignment. And while I’m ALL for intending and visualizing and getting into alignment – frankly, if that’s what you’re doing most of the time, you’re very likely not making much money.

Anyway.

No matter the reason, if you’re repelling money and you'd like to start attracting it instead, here are 5 habits I recommend you drop, like, today.

Money-repelling habit #1 // Worrying about whether your work is ‘perfect’

The reason this habit is a money repellant is because, if you’re letting perfectionism rule your work, it’s a sure bet you’re spending too much time ‘preparing’ and not enough time PRODUCING.

I have been guilty of this habit myself many times in my life, and every time I’ve found myself stuck in it, the money spigot seems to just turn itself right off without my having to lift a finger.

Why? Because when you’re not producing, you become stagnant. From a ‘woo’ perspective (or, hey, even a scientific perspective), if your energy is stagnant, it’s not attracting anything new into your life, including money.

So if you’d like to attract ever-increasing amounts wealth into your life, you’ll need to ditch the habit of fretting over each potential creation of yours (whether it’s a simple report or an intricate painting) and just put it out there.

I’m not saying put shoddy work out there – I’m simply saying that it doesn’t need to be PERFECT.

Your rate of production is directly proportional to your income – and you can’t have a high production rate if you’re trapped in perfectionism.

Money-repelling habit #2 // Refusing to invest in yourself

This one is almost the opposite of perfectionism.

When you don’t invest in yourself (whether for your health, business, emotional wellness, or any other area you want to improve) what you’re saying to Life is: “I’m not worth spending money on to operate at my best.”

And Life (which is impersonal and will reflect back whatever you’re projecting) goes, “Okay, I get it. You’re not worth being at your best. Therefore I’ll keep funds tight and you can operate at a level below what you’re actually capable of, in every area of your life.”

Harsh? Maybe. But it’s said with love and a sincere desire for you to see more abundance showing up in your life, if you so desire.

Another more succinct way of demonstrating the financial havoc this habit can wreak is to ask yourself the following:

“If I’m not investing in myself, how can I expect anyone else to invest in me?”

By the way, I'm talking specifically about INVESTING in yourself – not just spending. It took me a long time to figure out the difference, but I can tell you that the moment I began to invest in my future success (rather than just spending my money on new clothes and stuff), that success started showing up in the present.

Again, Life reflects back whatever you’re projecting. Don’t project the idea that you're not worth investing in!

Money-repelling habit #3 // Letting Life be in charge instead of being in charge of Life

Well, okay, Life has a way of asserting itself over your wishes.

HOWEVER.

Life isn’t really in charge. I mean, it can serve up events, but YOU are in charge of how you respond to those events. And this is where 99% of the population gets stuck.

We think that we have no choice but to react to what’s going on in our lives. So we react in predictable ways; being upset when ‘upsetting’ events happen – being happy when ‘good’ events happen, and so on.

But that’s SO not a recipe for success (and money-getting). Because what happens when you let Life take charge and act like you’re a victim of circumstance?

Well, you will find plenty of opportunity to get derailed, sidetracked, upset, spun out. . . you name it. Every single day will present you with a new opportunity to obsess about anything but the Great Work you’re meant to do in the world.

(And I capitalize Great Work because I consider that phrase to be a personal pronoun – like, there’s a lady or gent named Great Work who’s trying to live itself through YOU.)

And obsessing about everything that happens in your life instead of doing the Great Work you’re meant to do = tumbleweeds in your bank account.

Money-repelling habit #4 // Ditching your ego

What?!? How can I say this is a money-repelling habit? Isn’t it AWESOME to get rid of your ego and be all Zen-like and stuff?

Well, harboring attachment to anything the ego can drum up for you is a certain path to suffering. But actually HAVING an ego? That’s called being human.

Frankly, you need that ego to help you get off your arse and DO things in the world.

And believe me, I am sharing this habit because, for god’s sake, I have experienced this firsthand.

For years I was a compulsive shopper and was RULED by my ego. Then I had an epiphany in my late 30s and realized I was never going to own enough designer shoes to feel good about myself if, well. . . if I didn’t feel good about myself without designer shoes.

So I then went so far in the direction of egoless-ness that I began to basically stop giving a shit because, “It’s all an illusion, so nothing really matters anyway.”

Then, feeling that this new way of living could not POSSIBLY be right (because it felt. . . I don’t know. . . wrong) I had another epiphany. I realized, “Duh! We’re here on this planet for a reason!” And that the reason isn’t to become pure consciousness.

The reason we’re here is so that we can express Life through our physical bodies and our physical experience. And the ego is PART of that physical experience.

It’s the part that helps us rise to the occasion when things get tough – when we want to give up. The ego is standing there going, “Really? You’re gonna let him tell you that you can’t be successful at this business?” or, "You're really going to let her nasty comment keep you from giving another talk?" or, "Are you seriously gonna let that dessert stand between you and a 28 inch waist?" or. . . well, you get the idea.

Again, the only problem arises when we get all attached to what the ego tells us is important. The rest of the time we can actually think of the ego as helping us GET.SHIT.DONE.

And guess what? Getting shit done is a super money-magnet-y kinda habit.

Money-repelling habit #5 // Letting yourself off the hook

This habit is, in my opinion, the most damaging not only to your finances, but also your self-esteem.

(And money is attracted to a healthy self-esteem, so this habit acts like a double-whammy!)

For the sake of this discussion, what I mean by ‘letting yourself off the hook’ is basically. . .

Giving up too easily.

Accepting second best instead of what you REALLY want.

Taking Easy Street when you could have merged onto the Challenge Freeway.

In other words, letting yourself get away with being anything less than the AWESOME human being that you truly are.

(I hope you really do realize how awesome you are. I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t think you were awesome enough to keep yourself ‘on the hook’ so you can get what you’re after in life!)

Letting yourself off the hook can be SO alluring. Because it’s highly encouraged in our society.

“Take a break!”
“You look like you need a drink.”
“Relax! You work too hard.”

And while I’m NOT suggesting that you work yourself into the ground and sacrifice your health, important relationships, and sanity. . . I am suggesting that, while the vast majority of us just don’t feel like doing the work that will get us from where we are to where we want to be, YOU can rise above that by expecting the best of yourself.

I think the whole ‘spiritual’ movement encouraging us to stare at our vision boards is so appealing because it’s much easier to park ourselves in front of a poster board plastered with photo clippings than to:

• Write the email
• Write the sales letter
• ‘Ship’ the product
• Call the potential client or employer
• Pitch the idea
• Ask for the sale
• Give the talk

Yes, it’s way easier to skip all that and take a delicious dive into our Netflix queue and a large bowl of buttered popcorn.

There’s nothing wrong with Netflix and popcorn, but if you find yourself choosing it over doing all of the above, time and again. . . well, my loving smack-down for you today is to get started on the important stuff.

Because money is not attracted to someone with butter stains on her t-shirt and Walter White’s yellow jumpsuit reflected in her eyeballs in the dim midnight light.

(I mean, y'know. . . not night after night. Bingeing occasionally is, yes, almost required.)

The bottom line is this: you are WAY too talented and brilliant to be letting yourself off the hook for your real dreams.

And if anyone tells you that you should settle – that it’s OKAY if you don’t get what you really want – well, I believe that person has some skin in that game (like, maybe they’re selling you a get rich quick program or a vision board package?).

Anyway.

I can tell you that of all these money-repelling habits, this last one is probably the most important to ditch, and I mean NOW. I’ll put it this way: you know in your heart you’re never going to be fully satisfied if you decide to give up on reaching your biggest dreams.

You KNOW it.

And guess what? Money knows it too. That’s why it doesn’t hang around when it can see that you’ve given up on yourself.

Hear me loud and clear: I’m NOT encouraging burnout. But we humans are capable of a whole lot more than we give ourselves credit for.  And I’m encouraging you to explore what you’re really made of.

So that’s it, buttercup.

(I have never called anyone buttercup in my life. I must be feeling cheeky.)

Drop these 5 habits like a can of chemical-laced "Off!" and you’ll find yourself attracting a welcome swarm of money into your life – no ‘Law of Attraction’ this-doesn’t-actually-work-why-am-I-wasting-my-time-on-it techniques required.

One more thing: if you found that you’ve been practicing one or more of these habits, don’t beat yourself up over it. In fact, don’t waste a single precious moment thinking, “Oh crap, I do that!” or whatever.

Just become aware of it, and decide to shift it. And by ‘decide’ I mean, give yourself the pure unadulterated joy of following through with what you KNOW in your heart to be the right course of action.

Here's to your wildly profitable success.

Sonal created her beautiful, unique, and functional line of baby & toddler clothing because she wanted to make a difference in the world.

(See what her mission is below!)

She came to me because she needed to get more clarity around Tumblewalla’s message, voice, and unique positioning in the marketplace.

I asked Sonal a few questions recently about our work together and about her challenges and triumphs growing a mission-based brand.

She was gracious enough to allow me to share those answers with you, so that you can learn from both her challenges and her successes.

(You’ll also get a peek – if you don’t know already – at what it’s like to have a marketing & business consultant help take your business to a new level.)

Without further ado, here is our ‘interview.’

Helen Hunter Mackenzie, CEO, Hunter Mackenzie Group (HHM)

Sonal Gerten, Founder, Tumblewall & Play Activist (SG)

HHM: You’ve built Tumblewalla on the concept (backed by research) that PLAY is crucial to a child’s development.

Let’s talk about the evolution of your mission.

Was there a specific inspiration for you? Was there a moment in time, for instance, when you KNEW you needed to make the advancement of play your mission?   

SG: The word PLAY seems like such an un-important and almost frivolous word but it’s truly critical for kids.

The turning point was when I realized that as a parent I was making choices that compromised this spirit of play.

For example, I was so concerned about baby’s nutrition at the expense of my health and sleep that I didn’t have the positive energy or time to actually enjoy my baby. 

This coupled with my research on our play deficit and books such as Last Child in the Woods really confirmed that this was something I absolutely needed to do.

My note: I have to gush about Sonal a bit here! I love working with women like her who are dedicated to more than just making a profit.

Most people think, “I should do something about that,” when they see a need in the world, but few have the courage and tenacity to create a business or organization around that need.

Huge kudos to Sonal for creating a company that creates beautiful products, makes money, AND makes a difference in the world!

HHM: Before we started working together, what was going on in your business?

Meaning, what was going well already, and what problem were you were looking to solve by us working together? 

SG: Tumblewalla was experiencing year over year growth so that was positive, however, our consumers didn’t seem to be connecting the clothing with our core mission as I had hoped.

Many kids clothing companies talk about the general concept of “play,” however, our mission is really rooted in the proven educational and social benefits behind play.

My note: Most business owners (even smart marketers like Sonal) struggle with defining the ULTIMATE benefit their product or service provides.

It’s important to keep in mind the difference between a feature and a benefit.

For Sonal, the feature is that her clothes allow kids more freedom to play. But WHY is play so important?

As Sonal mentions, there are “proven educational and social benefits” that come with play – and she had the research to back it up!

That’s where we looked in order to draw out her brand message – to show parents how Tumblewalla’s clothes could be GOOD for their kids in addition to their other benefits.

HHM: What had you already been implementing in your business as far as marketing, positioning, and even your business model? 

SG: I had been communicating the importance of play via blogging, speaking, my website, and of course the Tumblewalla name (which literally means “one who tumbles”).

But it wasn’t perfectly clear to consumers how the clothes themselves promoted freedom of expression (and they didn’t know that we intentionally design for movement).

My note: As a mom myself, I learned something new working with Sonal and hearing about the research behind the importance of play. 

It became clear that we needed to ‘connect the dots’ between how play could help children – and how Tumblewalla’s clothes, specifically, could help promote play.

Making this clear connection would allow Tumblewalla to carve out a unique niche in the baby & toddler clothing industry.

HHM: What were your concerns or hesitations about working with me (or anyone) to help you with your marketing and messaging?

SG: My hesitation was that I felt I could do the work myself given that I was the one who was most connected to the brand. 

However, what I realized is that as a solo entrepreneur – it’s exactly because I’m the one that’s closest to the brand that warrants even more outside perspective, feedback, and input. 

Working with Helen is a true partnership and she was and continues to be very vested in my success. I also felt very comfortable pushing back if I felt something didn’t fit with the brand.

My note: As an incredibly independent self-starting entrepreneur, I totally understand Sonal’s hesitance to seek outside assistance.

I mean, who could possibly know your brand as well as YOU?

The problem with that kind of thinking, as Sonal wisely points out, is that we get so deep in our own work that we can’t see the proverbial ‘forest for the trees.’

Sometimes all it takes is even a few concentrated hours of someone else listening to us carefully, for a clear brand message/position/value proposition to be unearthed.

That unearthing can lead to a huge clearing in that metaphorical ‘forest’ allowing you to create messages that resonate deeply with potential customers and clients.

HHM: How, if at all, did our work together help solidify your mission, both for yourself and for your prospects and customers? 

SG: We focused on the higher order benefit of what play delivers to ensure our product and purpose was something to be taken seriously.

Helen is also a genius copywriter helping me to craft compelling language for my features/benefits, about us page, product descriptions, and even Facebook posts.

My note: I’m flattered that Sonal has referred to me as a ‘genius copywriter’ – and I’ll simply say that over 10 years of study, practice, and experience seems to have paid off. ;-)

HHM: What has that done for you? (e.g., more confidence, ability to talk more clearly about your brand, etc.?) 

SG: All our marketing is so much more cohesive and I look at the site and just LOVE how we’re talking about our products in a way that feels genuine but also really compelling. 

It truly is different than other baby brands out there. 

This gives me the confidence to take the brand and our mission to that next level.

My note: Sonal is 100% focused on genuine, sincere messaging. Anything I proposed that felt too ‘over the top’ got nixed, and I agreed wholeheartedly.

When I work with someone, it’s important that I reach as far as I can into ‘what’s possible’ and then we come back down to what’s REAL so that every marketing message is, as Sonal mentioned, both genuine AND compelling.

As I often say, “Marketing is the truth, made amazing.”

(If you know who I’m quoting here, let me know in the comments! I heard it somewhere years ago and can’t remember where.)

HHM: How are things different now in your business? 

SG: My customers clearly get what we’re about in the first 30 seconds of visiting our website and/or reading about us or talking to me!

This has enabled me to secure some wonderful PR opportunities and of course, our sales have increased as a result.

I think the biggest wins have been securing a 5-minute feature on TV + national magazine exposure, plus having consumers and buyers actively seeking me out because they like our products and what we stand for!

My note: YAY! It’s so important for people (customers or PR folks) to ‘get’ what you’re about quickly when they land on your website.

And it’s another reason a fresh pair of expert eyes on your business can shift you to a new level.

HHM: What would you characterize as some of the challenges of building a mission-based brand?

SG: One of the challenges is educating your customers on why this mission/cause is important and relevant to their particular family and circumstance, and what you are doing to help solve this issue.

The other challenge is financial – how can you meaningfully contribute to the causes you are passionate about as a new venture. 

For me, it’s supporting the organizations in ways beyond just the dollars – via speaking, blog posts, publicity about the organizations etc.

My note: More gushing about Sonal here!

I know that from Tumblewalla’s inception, she’s not only donated a portion of her proceeds to organizations that promote play, but that she continues to donate her time & attention to this important issue via the methods she mentions above.

From spending time around Sonal, it’s clear that she is totally dedicated to contribution in the world, and I just love that about her.

HHM: How have you overcome, or are you working to overcome, those challenges? What wisdom would you impart to others looking to create the same type of brand? 

SG: I think once people experience our product – they love it and truly understand what we’re about.

Even though we are mission-based, it’s critical to have a great product/service that you truly feel confident in.

My note: Great marketing can get your mission-based product in the hands of more people.

But as Sonal mentions, you MUST have a great product to back it up.

And I love that Sonal has created such gorgeous, unique pieces. They are truly stand-out pieces that any parent (or grandparent, or aunt/uncle/godparent) should check out for themselves!

HHM: What are some of the key touch points you created during our work together that help your customers and the media connect with your brand? 

SG: We created unique and compelling copy in several areas, such as:  

• “Don’t let our good looks deceive you” as our headline on the Tumblewalla homepage
• “The one piece that your baby will wear every day” to describe our signature one piece
• Branded Facebook posts
• Our tagline: "Tumblers today, trailblazers tomorrow."
• A refined story & positioning

Much of this foundational work serves as a springboard for hopefully more positive things to come!

My note: Each one of these ‘brand touchpoints’ can help cultivate not only sales but the ‘remarkability’ factor which allows customers to pass along the brand story to others!

HHM: For readers out there who have babies and toddlers, or are grandparents of babies and toddlers. . .

Tell us a bit about why PLAY is so important to the children we love?  

SG: Play is much more than just fun – it helps with improved focus/attention, increased creativity, better ability to problem-solve and play nice with others and much much more!

My note: As a conscientious parent, I certainly hope I've allowed my son plenty of time and freedom for unstructured play!

Before meeting Sonal I never realized how important play actually IS, or how the right clothing can help encourage play in a child -- but Sonal's done the research to back it up.

HHM: How do Tumblewalla products specifically address these important needs?

SG: Every Tumblewalla piece is carefully crafted for comfort – there are no:

• Itchy tags
• Hard, scratchy fabrics
• Unnecessary button closures
• Hoods or footed pajamas – or anything that interferes with your child’s crucial need for play

Our clothing features bold colors and global designs that help bring out emotions of positive play.

And our pieces are easy to use – easy to dress babies, easy to wash, and easy for toddlers to dress themselves so they can spend more time exploring and less time fussing.

My note: I think all parents of babies and toddlers can appreciate the marriage of comfort & convenience that the right clothes can provide.

Add beautiful, unique design, and you've got a winner. :-)

HHM: Where can readers find out more about Tumblewalla? 

SG: On our website at www.tumblewalla.com!

My note: Check out Sonal’s website for a truly unique line of baby & toddler clothing, and be sure to sign up for updates from her and get a 15% off coupon!

…………………………………………………………….

I hope this interview has been helpful in giving you a look inside a small business that is successfully navigating the intersection of ‘mission’ and ‘profit.’

If you liked it, please share it with your friends or your community and help spread the word about Sonal and Tumblewalla.

And if YOU have a mission-based business (or any business, for that matter), please share in the comments below one takeaway from this interview that you’ll use to carve out a clearer brand message for yourself.

Or, share how you’ve already successfully navigated some of the challenges Sonal mentions above.

As always, thanks for reading, and I’ll see you again soon. . . 

Ana Micka has enjoyed a 25+ year career as a social entrepreneur, accomplishing such things as raising over $20MM in funds, launching 4 national organizations for social change, building client & constituent lists over 100,000 strong, and a lot more.

So why am I writing to you about her?

Because her latest project is a tool that can help YOU give yourself a raise in your business.

She developed it while we worked together over about 6 weeks' time, and when I saw what she'd created, I got so excited I HAD to share it with you.

Ana's proprietary Profit Acceleration approach was behind key accomplishments of hers like:

• Raising $700,000 in six months for a brand-new political candidate who'd never raised a dime before
• Bringing in over $10 million that was key to electing 6 women to Congress
• Launching two national organizations dedicated to natural health and organic agriculture, and growing their income and membership base well into the hundreds-of-thousands

In other words, Ana knows what she's doing.

And now, she's brilliantly distilled her Profit Acceleration approach into a tool that ANY business owner can use to grow her income while having a bigger impact on the world.

I'll let Ana tell you about it in her own words, because I interviewed her recently about how the product came to be and how it can help you. I think you will LOVE what she created. 

One of the biggest challenges most entrepreneurs face is lack of consistent cash flow. And this tool will help you solve that problem.

Listen in to find out what it's all about and how it can help YOU: 

Best of all, because Ana's new product just hit the market, it's ridiculously affordable at the moment. Go here to see what I mean.

Or you can try a free starter kit by going to Ana's website.

I recommend you check this out right away, though, because I predict it will become the next 'must have' tool for entrepreneurs.

Oh, and. . . you may have noticed that I really don't 'promote' stuff on Ye Olde Blogge. So this is a bit of an unusual post for me. 

And you should know: those links above are NOT affiliate links. I'm not making a dime from Ana's product.

I just really wanted you to see what Ana was up to, because she is a purpose-driven entrepreneur and her product is truly remarkable.

Enjoy! :)

PS - If you're as excited as I am about Ana's new product, please share it with your friends using any of the buttons below, or tweet this.

Last weekend I was at an amazing restaurant with a friend, and everything on the menu looked SO good, that I got that old familiar feeling. . .

You know the one I mean.

Where you think, “There’s way too much to choose from—I’ll never be able to decide.”

Now of course, this is not a huge problem—at least for most people.

And I was able to decide what to eat eventually.

(Steak with asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes, thank you very much.)

(Sorry if you’re vegetarian and that sounds gross to you.)

In other words, I didn’t let that fleeting feeling of overwhelm completely stop me from moving forward on my meal.

In fact, it seems incredibly silly to imagine myself at that restaurant saying to my friend, I just can’t do this. It’s too overwhelming. I need to leave.

I mean, can you imagine if I walked out of there and started panicking? Maybe I’d have to schedule some time in my calendar to meditate over it.

After all, this is a BIG decision. I’m actually putting food in my body that will either fuel my energy or weigh me down (figuratively and literally).

But how ridiculous would it be if it were THAT hard to make a decision about what to eat?

Yet, how often are we presented with opportunities to decide “what to do next” in our businesses and in our lives. . .

Where we actually DO let that decision stop us in our tracks?

I see it all the time, and most often it doesn’t actually LOOK like a decision-making problem.

Most of the time what it looks like is, “I feel so bummed that no one bought my program” or “I can’t figure out how to get past this feeling of inadequacy that comes from my childhood” or some other issue that appears to be emotional or even spiritual in nature.

But it’s not really an emotional or spiritual problem at all.

It’s actually a decision-making problem.

Why?

Because when you’re saying, for example, “I’m sad that no one likes my stuff,” you haven’t DECIDED that you will. . .

• Sell your stuff no matter what challenges come up
• Not take it personally if your stuff doesn’t sell right away
• Make adjustments to your strategy if things don’t go well at first

Instead, you’re letting outside circumstances dictate what you’ll think, feel, and do.

You’re sitting on the fence of indecision, wondering, “Should I keep selling this or pull it off the market?” or, “Am I even cut out for this?” or, “Does this mean I can’t sell?” or some other unhelpful line of questioning.

Because the hard truth is. . .

Nothing in your outside circumstances means anything, except what YOU make it mean.

If you’re asking, “Does this mean I can’t sell?” then, yep, it does.

But if instead you’re asking, “What can I do to tweak this offer so that it will sell?” then you’re in a decisive, resourceful state where solutions can be found and progress made.

(By the way, if you ask yourself a question like, “Do I REALLY want to sell this?” and get a NO. . . then by all means hop off the fence and DECIDE to pull that puppy off the market, pronto!)

The point is, decision-making should be swift and powerful, and should lead to swift and powerful action.

Let’s look at how decision-making works around personal issues.

When you’re saying, “I can’t figure out how to stop feeling inadequate because of the way my parents treated me,” you haven’t DECIDED that you will. . .

• Leave your parents’ words (which were informed by their OWN feelings of inadequacy) in the past, where they belong
• Consistently focus on what you KNOW you’re good at to reinforce feelings of adequacy
• Consciously re-direct your thoughts any time you find yourself spinning out on a particularly unhelpful one like, “I’ll never be good enough”

Now, I can almost hear you arguing, “But it’s not that easy!’

And you’re right. It’s NOT easy. But I challenge you to find a better alternative.

I mean, what’s the alternative to making a DECISION that you’ll take control of your emotions and actions and, thus, your destiny?

The alternative is NOT to decide to take control of your own emotions and actions, and instead to let the world take control of them for you. . .

(Tweet it, baby!)

So even though it may not be EASY to make the above decisions (or myriad others in your life). . .

It’s actually simple.

You always have the power to choose how to think, feel, and act.

I say this with immense love, because I’ve been on the fence about a million things in my life. . . so this ain’t Sunday, and I’m not up at the pulpit, believe me.

But I’ve discovered that the times I’ve experienced the MOST success in life were the times I made a strong decision to just DO, BE, or FEEL something.

And to not let anything get between that decision and me.

It’s a discipline that takes practice, like any other discipline.

But the rewards are immeasurable (not the least of which include FREEDOM from emotional pain).

I’ve recently had to make a few tough decisions in my business and my life.

(And several simple ones.)

Some of them will become apparent in the coming weeks in this space.

Some of them are much more personal.

In fact, I’ll share a REALLY personal one with you, just so you can see that I’m walking my talk (again, not from a pulpit!).

A few weeks ago I noticed something really peculiar about my habitual self-talk.

It’s not something everyone does (I know, because I've discussed it with a few people)—but if YOU happen to do it, then maybe sharing this example will help you find freedom like it did me.

The ‘something’ I noticed was that I would be going about my day, washing the dishes, shopping for groceries, driving to pick up my son from school, folding laundry, brushing my teeth. . .

Anything where my mind didn't need to be super-focused on the task at hand (and thus could wander aimlessly). . .

And suddenly, I’d be struck by a memory of something I had done in the past (maybe it was 30 years ago, maybe 2 days ago) and be overwhelmed with guilt over how ‘wrong’ I had been to do it.

I’m talking knife-through-the-heart overwhelmed with guilt.

I would take a moment to ask God’s forgiveness (I see God as the energy that connects all of us, by the way, not some bearded dude in the clouds).

And while asking forgiveness isn’t a bad thing, and it isn’t all that peculiar on its own. . .

I noticed that I had a habit of revisiting the SAME wrongdoings, over and over again.

I would remember that cruel comment I made when I was 16 years old that hurt someone’s feelings. . . or that BIG thing I did to break my (now ex) husband’s heart, for which I’d apologized to him a hundred times. . . or that irresponsible financial decision I made several years ago. . .

And I would find myself asking forgiveness for it, again and again.

And yet, I am well aware that the purpose of forgiveness is FREEDOM.

So in the act of continuing to dredge up the same ‘sins’ time and again, I wasn’t finding any freedom at all.

That’s when I knew I had a decision-making problem.

I had to DECIDE, once and for all, that I would only ask forgiveness once, for any indiscretion.

This means that I’ll acknowledge that yes, I did something that was hurtful or irresponsible in some way, and yes, I need to apologize and make retribution for it in any way possible (including apologizing to someone I’ve hurt).

But from there on out, it’s done.

I think it’s actually quite interesting how much guilt a lot of so-called Christians feel AND mete out to others, while simultaneously professing to believe that Jesus died for our sins and gave us a clean slate.

I guess maybe they think the clean slate happened at the time of the crucifixion and the clock was then reset?

Of course, that doesn’t jive at all with Jesus’ words.

Anyway.

I’m digressing. But I’m digressing to prove a point.

As a society, many of us let ourselves get away with NOT deciding what personal standards and truths we will hold for ourselves.

Believing in the grace of God while simultaneously beating oneself up (and condemning others) is a classic case of not DECIDING.

Is God graceful and forgiving, or judgmental and condemning? Which is it?

I can tell you that I personally know the former to be true—but you must decide what’s true for you.

In any case, the power lies in the DECISION.

When you decide—when you really get committed to your truth—you no longer waffle back and forth, dissipating your energy between the two options.

And THAT is how you become unstoppable.

You stop being led along a rapid river of unhelpful thinking patterns that do nothing but keep you small and stuck and fearful.

And instead you throw your oars in the water and start rowing to where you want to go.

Now. . . as I said, you’ll be seeing the results of some of my professional decisions in this space—and I’ll even be sharing some more of my personal decision-making processes here too.

But right now, it’s your turn.

What will YOU decide today?

I’m going to get all Tony Robbins on you (literally—because it was from Tony that I learned the power of decision-making) and tell you that listening to this without acting on it is useless.

So what have you been waffling about, that you can make a decision on RIGHT NOW?

I’d like to challenge you to make that decision—today. So you can become unstoppable in business and life.

Have you ever started a creative project and, a few months into it, asked yourself, "What was I thinking?"

Or begun dating someone new and (also a few months into it, maybe) gone, "Darn it. . . NOPE."

Or have you maybe revamped your entire website, decided on a business name or tagline, written some blog posts on the topic, and then thought, "Oh crap. . . this really isn't ME."

Ever done any of those things?

If so. . . well, you're not alone.

Every day, thousands of people take innumerable steps (virtual or otherwise) in millions of directions.

And lots of us, shortly thereafter, find ourselves in need of a course correction.

Now, if you've been around these parts for any length of time. . .

Then you know I'm a HUGE proponent of the philosophy that can best be summed up by one of my favorite sayings, a Turkish proverb that goes like this:

"No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back."

And recently, I've had to take my own advice.

I found myself getting stuck (like SUPER stuck) on an idea I've been working on nearly all year.

The idea? Producing a podcast.

I couldn't figure out my 'stuck'-ness around it.

When I first thought about creating a podcast, I said to myself, "This'll be fantastic. I love to talk. Podcasts are all about talking. My mouth + podcasting = A perfect match!"

My first idea was to talk about mastery.

For quite awhile now I’ve been talking and teaching about the concept of developing world-class businesses.

So I thought it would be great to talk, on my own and with guests, about what it takes to be truly MASTERFUL at what you do, rather than just 'good enough.'

But after eleventy-million drafts of show ideas and about 6 months of stalling on producing an actual episode. . .

I realized that, if I was brutally honest with myself, the topic bored me to tears.

It felt too stale. Too much like something that's been done.

(Or maybe like something that would be talked about at one of those conferences in a hotel ballroom where everyone has a binder and a notepad and a hotel-branded ballpoint pen that leaks gobs of ink, and everyone’s all squished together at those long tables covered with white tablecloths, sipping ice water from plastic pitchers positioned every couple seats or so, sitting on those hard little hotel ballroom chairs and squinting to see the presenter’s scrawled notes up there on a flipchart.)

So I switched gears.

"Hey, I'm contrarian!" I said to myself and to my close friends, "I'll do a podcast about all the ways you can break the rules and still succeed!"

"YESSS," said my friends and I.

*Fist pump!*

And I sat back down at the drawing board and came up with a couple of big fat handfuls of ideas.

I wrote them out. Started shaping them into scripts.

And as the NEW release date of the podcast approached, I found myself. . .

Rearranging papers on my desk.

Getting up to pour myself another cup of coffee.

Checking on the laundry.

Taking a heady whiff of the fake hydrangeas on my desk.

Categorizing my remaining handful of 1980s cassettes by Percent Chance This One Would Still Play If Only I Owned A Tape Deck.

ANYTHING to keep from releasing that first podcast.

"What the heck is going on?" I asked myself.

I wondered whether I was doing that whole my-great-work-scares-me thing.

That didn’t seem to be the answer, though. Instead, I just felt. . . BORED by my idea.

So I sat down and had a come-to-Jesus meeting with me, myself, and I.

Which is kinda ironic, because what came out of that meeting was that I was denying not the creative impulse. . .

But my spiritual CALLING.

Oy!

Imagine my chagrin.

Here I am encouraging my clients to do what they feel most led to do. . . to turn back when they find themselves on the wrong road. . .

And I'm wandering out onto a desert road (metaphorically speaking), and away from my OWN divine calling.

So I started thinking about that proverb.

"Turn back," it whispered.

And because I simply cannot be someone I’m not — I did turn back.

I mean, I’m turning back. I've been going in the opposite direction for about a month (I just didn't tell you about it until now!).

My podcast is changing entirely, for the third time (there’s definitely something ‘charmed’ about that third time, right?).

It's got a(nother) name. And a different theme than either of the other two podcasts I’d conceived.

I was going to give you a sneak peek — but I realized it would be much better to just show you what it’s all about when it’s ready.

And when will it be ready?

Great question.

“Coming soon!” That’s when it will be ready.

I’m done putting due dates on the calendar for this baby.

Because it truly IS a baby of mine at this point, and I want it to be something special (like all the rest of my babies — human or otherwise).

I can tell you this, though.

My goal with it is to provide you with the kind of inspiration — and laughter — that will bring joy and healing (emotional, mental, physical, financial, you name it) into your life on a regular basis.

Sound cool?

Good. 'Cause I was thinking, a great way to start bringing some joy into your life would be to out myself with this little story.

Because I think so many of us beat ourselves up for not having everything all figured out, all the time.

And sometimes we can even get hung up on the notion that our lack of certainty means we’re not cut out for greatness.

And while greatness DOES come with repeated application of effort in the area in which you want to become great. . .

There’s a much better chance of that happening when you’re locked into a divine groove.

Meaning, when you’re doing what you’re really put on this planet to be doing.

(As opposed to what ‘everyone else’ is doing. Or what you think you ‘should’ do.)

And today, I also have a little challenge for you.

Take at least 5 minutes out of your day (30 would be even better) to review what’s going on in your life right now, and ask yourself,

“Where in my life am I traveling down the wrong road?”

Where are you plugging away at a project that doesn't really feel like YOU? Or where are you adopting habits that are out of alignment with who you REALLY are?

What's interesting about asking this question is that you generally find, if you're traveling down the wrong road in one area, that you're probably traveling down the wrong road in MORE than one area.

For instance, if you're holding on to personal habits that block success (such as negative thinking, not taking care of yourself physically, or being in a relationship that doesn't serve you). . .

You're probably also not doing the creative work you REALLY want to do.

(And vice versa.)

Why is this?

I have no clue. Seriously. I could sit here and pretend I do, but I don't.

All I know is that I see it all the time with clients — and in my own life, it's clear that it applies as well.

For instance, this issue with my podcast also led me to question my overall clarity about my business and brand message.

And while I've felt very on-target INSIDE about what I stand for and how I help people and what my magic is. . .

I realized I wasn't using the exact right words to describe what I'm all about.

(And a word nerd like me is kinda obsessive — can one be 'kinda' obsessive? — about words.)

That means you'll be seeing a few other subtle (though, to me at least, quite exciting!) changes around here in the coming days and weeks as well.

Okay, so. . .

Take the challenge, won't ya?

Ask yourself the question ("Where in my life am I on the wrong road?")

Then, make a plan to (as quickly as possible) turn back.

Do it boldly, and without regret or fear.

Look, EVERYONE turns onto a wrong road now and then. It’s whether you choose to stay on that road or course-correct that decides your destiny.

(Tweet the proverb, yo!)

As always, please share your experiences below. I’d love to hear what road(s) you’re ready to stop traveling on, and how you plan to ‘turn back’.

And if you’ve already done this in your life (maybe more than once) I’d love to hear your experiences.

In the meantime, enjoy the ride.

(And stay tuned for the new podcast, plus other exciting changes in this space that will help you create a destiny that's just right for YOU.)

See you again soon. . .

Have you ever spent an entire weekend binge-watching Arrested Development on Netflix?

No?

Just me?

Well, the truth is I haven’t been able to hear the word ‘fallacy’ the same ever since I heard it in this scene a few months ago:

(And if you haven’t watched the show—well, I can’t recommend it highly enough if you like clever, irreverent humor. Trust me, this clip doesn’t even begin to do it justice. Thanks to James Altucher for the recommendation.)

Now, if you’re not a fan, I’ll break down the above scene really briefly.

The girl in the blue dress has just found out she was adopted.

And the man in the bowtie is her closeted gay husband.

She's realizing she isn't who she thought she was. And he's in as much denial as ever about who HE is.

(In fact, the word 'fallacy' in this clip has a double meaning. Hint, hint, wink, wink.)

Yup, that about sums up this particular scene.

There’s WAY more to the show of course—but the reason I’m sharing this particular scene is because it made me think of something we all struggle with at some point in our businesses.

(And often in our lives, too.)

It’s the struggle to show up with 100% authenticity.

I know the word ‘authenticity’ gets overused, but what I mean by it here is. . .

The ability to have, be, and do exactly what YOU want in your business (and life).

(Instead of what some expert—or guru, or coach, or whatever—says you should want.)

In the show Arrested Development, it’s a running theme that Tobias Funke (the bowtied character in the above clip) is in total denial of his sexuality even though EVERYONE around him knows he’s gay.

(Including his wife.)

And today I'm wondering. . .

Is there any possibility that you’re in denial of something in YOUR life?

(And no, I’m NOT broaching the sexuality issue here. . . other blogs do a much better job of that than I ever could).

But is there somewhere, specifically in your business, where you’re denying what you really want?

Even though Tobias Funke is a hilarious character on the show. . .

In real life, it’s not too hilarious when you’re living a fallacy.

In fact, it can keep you stuck and broke, and quite miserable for a long time.

So where might you be doing one thing in your business and thinking and feeling another?

Is it in your:

• Business model?
• Marketing?
• Sales process?
• Branding?
• Relationships?

Let’s break ‘em down a bit so you can see what I mean.

Business Model

Are you shuffling customers through a ‘funnel’ when you’d really like to be interacting with them in a more personal way?

Were you encouraged by some coach to create a series of products, packages, or programs to meet income goals. . . but your offerings don’t really feel like YOU?

Are you leaking money because you have NO business model, when what you really need is a swift kick in the pants (maybe even from yourself) and a plan that’s inked—even if it’s only scrawled on a soggy napkin over drinks and appetizers with a good business buddy?

Marketing

Is your copy written in your own voice, or that of your favorite guru (or perhaps the copywriter you hired)?

Is your message spot-on in relation to your values, your vision, and the people you most want to serve? (Or have you even clarified these things?)

Is your marketing plan in alignment with your talents, preferences, and your business's current stage (e.g. video vs. blogs, Twitter vs. Instagram, SEO vs. ads), or is it just a copy-and-paste from that coach whose seminar you attended at the end of last year?

Sales Process

Do you feel pushy and unnatural when you’re trying to make sales because you’re using a ‘formula’ from someone (who may or may not be more of a ‘natural salesperson’)?

Do you HAVE a sales process?

Are you tearing your hair out because you keep having conversations with potential customers but you can never quite seem to make the sale because you’re using the wrong ‘script’ to ask for it?

Branding

Is your website a lovely representation of. . . someone else’s lovely website?

Do you have any idea how to approach your communications at each touchpoint of customer interaction. . . or are your communications a hodge-podge of things you’ve sorta kinda copied from others who seem successful?

Is who YOU really are leaping off the page (virtual or otherwise) loud and clear?

Relationships

Are you just taking whoever comes along with respect to business contacts without deciding whether you have anything in common with them?

Are you in total integrity with your values when approaching business partners (i.e. you’re not just approaching them because you want to use them to grow your audience but rather because you genuinely RESPECT them)?

Along that same vein, are you simply 'hanging out' (virtually or otherwise) with people you LIKE on a regular basis, rather than people who make your face crinkle up in disgust when you see what they’re up to on Facebook or read their insincere emails?

These aren’t necessarily easy questions to ask yourself.

I know I’ve asked them of myself many times over the years. . .

And sometimes I’m not so crazy about the answers I get back from my own inner wisdom.

Because sometimes it means I have to cut the cord with someone. . .

Or change everything AGAIN on my [whatever] page on my website. . .

Or it means I have to turn away from a project I’d already dived into. . .

And start ALL OVER AGAIN.

But you know what?

Every single time I’ve had to do that. . .

Every. Single. Time.

Something wonderful has happened as a result.

Every time I've cut off an unhealthy, inauthentic connection. . .

A new, healthy, and much more beneficial (in all ways) connection has come along.

Every time I’ve had to rethink my messaging. . .

A new slew of people have arrived into my life just waiting to hear more of my REAL message.

And every time I’ve been brave enough to tweak my business model so it doesn’t make me bat-shit crazy. . .

(Sorry, there was really no other way to say that. . .)

I’ve found that the work I do just gets more and more rewarding and fun.

So today, a challenge:

Find ONE area of your business (or your life) that feels to you like a fallacy, and make a plan to change it as soon as possible.

Keep in mind, I’m not accusing you here.

Maybe there are no fallacies in your life and biz.

But chances are good (‘cause you’re human) there are.

And even if there aren’t, it won’t hurt to take a look, will it?

You just might find yourself coming out of the closet. ;)

And if you’re brave enough to share the fallacy(ies) you’ve identified, please do! I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.

Not only what you’ve discovered, but what you’re going to do about it.

See you next time. . . ;)

Today I’m going to let you in on a big secret within the ‘expert’ industry that NO ONE wants to admit.

Because if they admitted it, then sales of their several-thousand-dollars-apiece programs, retreats, and seminars would dramatically decrease.

Yep, if they admitted this ONE secret, they’d never be able to promise they could show you, step by step, how to make the same millions they’re making.

So, what is this big secret?

(And why am I sharing it?)

Well, first of all—I’ll dish the WHY.

I’m telling the secret because I can’t not.

For the past several years (prolly 7 and counting. . .) I’ve watched expert after expert hawk program after expensive program. . .

I’ve even watched them hawk the lower-end programs that are basically designed to get you all squished into their ‘funnel’ along with all the other people who have just unwittingly forked over $27, $47, or $97 to be upsold.

And one day recently, I woke up and just thought, No more. I’m DONE watching this happen.

I mean, it’s still gonna happen, I get it. But I’m going to do my part to make it happen as little as possible on my watch.

*Adjusts binoculars and scans area*

So. . . what is this big secret that no one wants to admit?

‘Tis this:

When selling a product or service, no one ever really knows EXACTLY what's going to work.

Not 100% of the time, anyway.

Now before you think I’m a Negative Nelly here, I’ll explain in a moment why this is not only NOT a problem—but is actually a good thing.

First of all, this is not just something I’m pulling out of thin air.

Some of my mentors are the best copywriters (and marketers) EVER.

I'm talking about people you may never have heard of because they’re not ‘internet celebrities’. . .

But who are quietly making millions writing world-class copy for themselves and their clients.

And even though they hit it out of the ballpark far more times than they flop. . . they still flop every now and then.

And they have no problem admitting it. Because? Well, again—because they’re not internet celebrities.

Which means they’re not selling 4-figure products that promise to transform your life overnight.

They’re selling their CRAFT. Which is just what marketing is (more on that in a minute).

And what any of these guys’ll tell you?

There is no such thing as a 'foolproof formula' for success.

Meaning, there's no ONE way that you can 'figure it out' once and for all and start making sales, over and over again, with 100% success, for ever and ever, amen.

After all, as our pal Sir Winston Churchill put it quite simply:

And you can tweet him on that!

Which is, quite frankly, GREAT news.

Why?

Because it means that there's tons of room for experimentation. . . 

For creating what never existed before. . . 

For exploring the art and craft of communicating with your prospects.

And that's the key.

Marketing, as I said, is a craft. 

An ART, even.

And, just as all works of art are not equally appreciated by all. . . well, all works of marketing communication are also not equally appreciated by all.

Even your standard blog post fare is hit-or-miss.

For instance, there are those who will read THIS post and go, Yes! This is just what I needed to hear right now!

While others won't read it at all.

And still others'll go, Meh. Nothing new here.

And here's the important thing.

If I spent my life trying to create content that is SURE to force those non-readers to read, or those Meh responders to go Hell yeah!. . . I'd not only drive myself bonkers, but I’d never put ANYTHING out into the world.

I can’t possibly please 100% of the population, 100% of the time.

And neither can you.

(Hey, there are plenty of people walking around mad at GOD—and if God can’t get a steady across-the-world fan base, why should we think we can?)

So rather than wait to create a perfect masterpiece of a blog post, or sales letter, or email, here’s what to do instead.

Get your art out into the world so that others can actually benefit from it.

And then do it again, and again, and again.

What this looks like when you’re marketing something? Is talking about it THIS way, and then if that doesn’t work, talking about it ANOTHER way. . .

Or tweaking your offer this way and that way.

And so on, and so on. . .

Until you’ve hit upon the offer and the message your ideal customer most needs.

What I see most entrepreneurs do? Give up, after slapping up a sales page and sending out a couple of emails or social media posts.

(“I guess nobody wanted this. . .”)

NO! We don’t give up! 

And we don’t take it personally either, trooper.

If people aren’t buying what you’re sellin’ it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with the fact that the customer is either not in the market right now for what you have to offer (for any number of reasons). . .

Or you simply haven’t sold her yet.

You haven’t, while practicing your ART, hit upon just the right offer and message that will help her see that you have just what she needs.

And just for good measure. . .

Let’s imagine for a moment there WAS one formula for success, forever and ever.

That there was a magical combination of words on a page, or a social media strategy, or a particular advertisement that would pull in 100% of its readers, all the time, without fail.

Well then, everyone would use it. And we’d all be just the same.

And as the villain Syndrome said in The Incredibles: And when everyone’s super? NO ONE WILL BE.

See, your superpowers—your ability to communicate with your customers using the words only YOU can use, creating offers only YOU can create. . .

Those superpowers are yours alone.

I can’t copy you (even if I try to imitate you).

And your ideal customer is looking for YOUR one-of-a-kind way of interacting with her.

So let’s review, shall we?

‘Cause I want you to walk away from this post with a useful piece of wisdom you can remember long after you’ve read it, listened to it, or shared it with your friends.

So. The big ol’ secret?

There’s no ONE marketing formula that works every single time.

And what do with that information?

Keep sharing what ya got. Again and again. And again.

Don’t ever give up, and don’t take it personally if they don’t buy right away.

Just keep swimming (oops, I’m on a Disney/Pixar kick today, evidently). . .

Er—just keep tweaking it, until you hit upon the right message for your ideal customer.

And, bonus tip: when you get help (‘cause we all need mentors, guides, and coaches at some point) seek it from those who are in the trenches alongside you, NOT those who are in the infotainment business.

(Because as I’ve mentioned before—and I’ll talk again about this—there are plenty of OTHER secrets those guys and dolls aren’t sharing.)

Alrighty then, I’m over and out for today.

Please don’t forget to share this with anyone else who might need a little bit of truth-tellin’ today (someone who may have their trigger finger over a ‘Buy Now’ button on one of those $97 upsell products at this VERY moment).

And I'll 'see' you next time.

For some reason I've felt the nagging urge to share all of my embarrassing secrets with you here on the blog lately.

And today is no exception.

The topic de jour is list size. . .

(Dun, dun, dun!)

And you're going to just LOVE it (and probably laugh and point) when I reveal my dirty little secret about my own list.

First, though. . . why have I been feeling this urge to share these secrets?

I suppose it's because I’m kinda OVER watching people put on a façade and pretend their lives and businesses are perfect when they’re not.

Social media has spread this 'disease' to stunning proportions, of course.

To the point that many of us spend a LOT of time feeling bad about ourselves because we compare ourselves to those 'successes' we see other business owners evidently enjoying. . .

Or we compare our vacations to the fabulous photos we see on our friends' Facebook timelines. . .

Or we compare our social lives to the jet-setter lifestyle our favorite 'internet celebrities' seem to have. . .

And yet.

These little snippets that swoosh through our social media streams each day only tell a carefully curated part of the story.

Of ANYONE'S life.

(Including mine.)

I mean, on most days I actually think I have a pretty darn fantastic life.

I am super lucky to be doing what I love for a living, and I am incredibly grateful for my amazing son, and hey- I live in a gorgeous part of the world where it's pretty much flip flop weather year-round.

But do I sometimes wake up at 3AM feeling anxious about whether I'm 'doing my life right'? Yep, occasionally I do.

Do I sometimes look at my 40-something year-old face in the mirror and feel just a bit wistful that my 20s are LONG gone? Yeah, sometimes.

And do I have days where, holy f----ing crap, I'm just mad at everyone and everything for no reason other than perhaps hormones? Uh huh.

I don't tend to dwell in these feelings for long-- and the older and wiser I get the less frequently these moments occur. . .

But DO they occur at all? YES. They do.

And do I talk about it on Facebook or my blog?

Well, until this moment, NO.

So why am I talking about it now and why haven't I before?

The answer to 'why now?' is that I feel called to a level of honesty that I don't see very often online (even if it scares me to be so open in public).

The answer to 'why not before?' is. . . well, it's scary to be so open in public.

So hey, let's talk about someone else for a moment.

Say, Oprah, for example.

Do you think that her on-camera persona is the way she is 100% of the time?

Hell no!

She breaks down and cries sometimes. Guaranteed.

She feels like crap about herself sometimes. Guaranteed.

She doubts her worth sometimes. Guaranteed.

And, to be clear, I’m not GLAD all these are ‘guaranteed’.

I mean. . . a world where amazing people like Oprah NEVER felt bad about themselves ever again? Seems like that would be sweeeet.

But that world is called Utopia, and it's a fantasy.

The reality is that no one’s life is perfect.

In fact, Rumi nailed it centuries ago when he talked about the Open Secret (which, to this day, we’re still walking around trying to hide).

And frankly, even though Utopia sounds lovely, it would actually be boring to have NOTHING to 'get through', nothing to strive for, nothing to look forward to.

That's why I believe that all of the challenges we face are meant, not to make us feel we're 'doing it wrong', but to lead us to higher and greater heights of personal evolution (if we let them).

Now. . . pardon me while I climb down from my soapbox and dial this conversation back around to entrepreneurship and dirty little confessions.

Because I'm tired of watching the dog-and-pony show that many online entrepreneurs put on these days. . .

(And, accordingly, watching large numbers of their followers feel like losers 'cause they're just SURE they're not succeeding fast enough. . .)

I'd like to come clean about something.

You might know that I’ve talked before about doing EVERYTHING wrong.

Like, everything.

In fact, what I'm about to share is one of those cardinal-sin type things I may regret, but what the hey.

Here’s the straight dope.

Ahem. . .

I have a small list.

(Why do I feel like an under-endowed dude who just dropped trou in front of his new girlfriend? Anyway.)

What's worse: I don't put THAT much effort into list-building.

Which, unlike our under-endowed friend, I COULD do something about. Read on to find out why I'm NOT sorry I haven't.

First, let's talk about why my list is so small.

About two and-a-half years ago, I completely remodeled-- no, gutted-- my then-'side business', throwing basically EVERYTHING out I'd been doing before. . .

And in the course of that overhaul, I had to give up a list I'd been cultivating for the previous three-ish years.

(One day soon I shall tell of the creation of THAT list-- my first ever-- and the psychology that went into building it.)

For now, back to my business overhaul.

After my new mission was announced, I invited everyone on my previous list to come on over to the new digs, and guess how many said yes?

13.

Thirteen sweet subscribers said, Sure Helen, I'd love to join you in your new adventure!

And was I thankful for those 13 subscribers?

Hellz to the yeah! It was better than the ZERO subscribers I'd started out with in 2008.

(Side note: I don't think I handled the transition that well in hindsight. I'd do it a lot differently today and maybe would have preserved a lot more subscribers. But that was then, and this is now. And 'hindsight' is called that for a reason.)

Anyway, in early 2012, I found myself opening up my first online program to a whopping 40 subscribers.

And with that small but mighty list, I not only enrolled 10 people into my program (pulling in a total of $2673, with the weird random discounts I offered), but. . .

I quit my job in April of 2012 and have never looked back.

Now, remember what I said about doing everything wrong?

Well, this was a classic case.

I'm sure any guru would have told me to keep my 'bridge job' and just keep buying their info-products until I had several months' salary saved up and had just about killed myself juggling a full-time career with single motherhood and a side gig that kept me burning the candle at both ends.

Instead, I dove headlong into entrepreneurship and leveraged that tiny list (and the tiny profits I'd made from my first program) into the business I have today.

In case you're curious, as of today, there are WAY more than 40 people on my list.

I think it would be kinda tacky and inappropriate to spill the EXACT number. . .

(Kind of like I honestly think it's almost always tacky and ridiculous to say things like, I have over 100,000 subscribers on my list!)

To give you a ballpark range, though, there are significantly fewer than 5,000 people on my list.

So there you go.

But the point of this post is that the number is largely irrelevant.

Because, numbers aside, I've been able to build a very successful business over the past two years.

And I'm not saying that to brag at all, but to inspire you to see what's possible-- what the gurus who say, The money is in the list! will never tell you.

See, I know there's no, like, conspiracy per se.

(As in, I don't believe there's a bunch of gurus in a room somewhere plotting how to keep the Little Guy down.)

And at the same time, I DO feel that what's missing from most gurus' strategies is a sincere desire to help people.

And call me the Anti-Guru, but I really DO want to see you succeed, and one of the ways I think I can help is to strip away the nonsense that there's only ONE way to do things-- and that the ONE way is how the experts tell you it has to be done.

(Because I can tell you right now, they are NOT telling you the full picture of their own business success. I'll save that topic for another time, though).

So how have I built my business with such a small list?

I've focused on three simple things, and you can easily do them too.

(Perhaps you're already doing them, and if so I hope this gives you encouragement, if you need it, that you're on the right path.)

Thing #1 -:- Offering the people who ARE on my list a personalized experience of me.

In other words, really treating the people on my list like they're, uh. . . people. Instead of regarding them as numbers on a report.

When I write to my list (maybe you're on it so you already know this) I write from the heart, and it's not very carefully crafted in business-speak or that fake marketing garbage that goes, My friends tell me I'm crazy to offer this at such a low price!

As much as possible, I write exactly the way I would write if you and I were chatting over lunch. Hopefully without spinach in my teeth.

Thing #2 -:- Only sharing things that I sincerely stand behind.

I usually only promote my own products and services, because I am 100% sure of their quality and value.

I rarely share any sort of affiliate promotion with my list, and I've only shared a couple of other promotion-like thingies over the years that I haven't been a thousand percent jazzed about.

(I chalk those few experiences up to a learning curve. Kinda like actors sometimes take roles they later probably wish they could go back and un-take.)

I've had the opportunity to be involved in affiliate promotions that probably would have been extremely lucrative for me, but I've passed them up because they weren't in alignment with my values.

Thing #3 -:- Giving my subscribers a li'l something extra that I wouldn't give to the general public.

Whether that be a special discount, or first dibs on a new service package, a  new cool tool they can use in their businesses. . . or just a random email here and there that says nothing much but, Hi there, I see you.

I don't give MY email address to many people, so when someone gives hers (or his) to me, I consider it a real privilege.

As such, I feel like I should give something back. Kind of like that ol' marketing principle of 'reciprocity'-- but backwards.

In other words, I operate my business by a rather old-fashioned principle that the mom n' pop shops used to abide by in the Olden Days:

Personalized attention.

And you know what?

There are TONS of entrepreneurs out there right now just like me. Some with even smaller lists.

And they are doing just FINE.

Making great money.

Loving their lives.

Enjoying plenty of time freedom.

And not stressing out about their online stats.

Because they're focused more on customer experience than on obsessing over the metrics the latest expert told them they 'must' have in order to be successful.

Long before the internet (and 'internet fame') there was good ol' fashioned BUSINESS.

And it'll be here no matter what the Next Big Thing is, online or off.

And business runs on the bottom line (i.e., profit).

So if you're looking at ANYTHING other than your ability to convert your prospects (no matter how few) into happy customers. . .

(Especially if your business is pretty new or small. . .)

I hereby (humbly) grant you permission to shake the small list shame.

The fact is, you only have so much time to spend in and on your business.

Spending your time on anything other than that which contributes directly to your bottom line is a waste.

I have no softer way of putting it.

And I'm living proof that not only do you not need a huge list to have a thriving bottom line-- but you don't need to do ANYTHING according to some invisible rule book.

List size, schmist size!

You went into business for yourself to BREAK the rules, remember?

So break 'em. Unapologetically.

(Tweet that to your fellow entrepreneurs!)

We're waiting excitedly to see your unconventional success story unfold.

And now that I've shared my not-so-shameful secret with you, I'd love to hear about YOUR experiences with list-building.

Are you frustrated because you don't feel you're gaining subscribers fast enough?

Are your subscribers as engaged as you would like them to be? Are they becoming customers?

And what have YOU done to nurture and engage your subscribers?

(And a small note here: I'm NOT anti-list. If you have a big, highly-engaged list and a ton of happy customers, then bravo, and keep up the good work! I've shared this post merely to give you another side of the picture if you've been frustrated trying to boost your numbers.)

I'd love to hear what your experiences have been in the comments below.

And if you feel like someone else might need some encouragement today, I'd love for you to share this post with them too.

Until then, keep the faith, rule-breaker.

During my freshman and sophomore years in high school, my best friend was one of the prettiest and most popular girls in class.

She had shiny blonde hair that fell just right, tan skin, long legs, and the perfect wardrobe.

Plus she had a contagious laugh, a witty sense of humor, and the kind of inner spirit that made you just want to LIKE her.

(Dammit.)

I, on the other hand, was decidedly NOT one of the prettiest or most popular girls in my class.

I had gaps in my front teeth, frizzy hair, and chubby cheeks.

I also had a shiny forehead, a lazy left eye, and a patchwork wardrobe made up of my older sister’s hand-me-downs, my mother’s borrowed items, and some cheap trend pieces I’d bought with my babysitting money.  

Along with my less-than-stunning physical appearance, I was FAR from one of the most popular girls in school.

I just didn’t ‘get’ how to be cool.

(I’m still waiting for the instruction manual.)

Anyway.

I spent a lot of time at my BFFs house, where we’d often end up making ourselves a snack because she was always hungry.

(And I, chubby cheeks and all, was never one to turn down a meal.)

She showed me how to make the BEST grilled cheese sandwiches. Tons of butter. Fluffy white bread. Thick slabs of cheese.

We’d grill ‘em up in her kitchen and I’d think, Yeah! THIS is what the good life is all about!

‘Cause seriously. . . my friend ALWAYS looked pulled-together and pretty.

And her house was way nicer than mine.

And her mom seemed to be in a much better mood than mine most of the time.

(I’m not saying she WAS—just that it seemed like it at the time. Don’t judge teenage angst.)

And. . . well, I got pretty addicted to those grilled cheese sandwiches.

In fact (and this may sound ridiculous) those grilled cheese sandwiches seemed to represent an entire lifestyle that I thought I wanted.

I would go home after our get togethers and try to bring a little of my friend’s magic into my own house and life.

And it wasn’t just the sandwiches—I’d try to make my handwriting look a little more like hers, and my hair a little blonder and smoother like hers.

(Single white female, anyone? What am I DOING confessing this in public?!)

And when I went to rustle up a delicious grilled cheese sandwich in our own family kitchen. . . well, it never seemed to taste quite the way it did at HER house.

And also? My friend had an entirely different genetic profile from mine.

That girl could eat, like, five grilled cheese sandwiches a day and her metabolism would just shrug and say, No prob, I’ll take care o’ that for ya.

And me?

Well, let’s just say that my metabolism was a little less cooperative.

(ANOTHER grilled cheese sandwich? Whaddya expect me to do with that? Forget it. You're on your own, kid. I’m taking a nap.)

So yeah. . . our bodies weren’t the same.

And quite frankly, neither were our lives.

The problem was, I was trying so hard to live HER life that I couldn’t enjoy my own.

I was looking in the mirror, or around my house, or at my family, and thinking. . .

This isn’t right. This isn’t enough. Your life sucks and hers is awesome.

But the truth is, my life was way more awesome than I thought it was.

(I had to spend a LOT of money in therapy to find that out. But whatever.)

If I had those teenage years to do over again with the wisdom I’ve gained over the past few decades. . .

Well, I might have actually ENJOYED high school, instead of ticking off the days until graduation like a prisoner waiting for her sentence to end.

Because honestly, once I stopped trying to be my BFF (or ANY of my friends) and began to embrace who I was, my life started to get a whole lot better after high school.

And here’s why I’m even talking about it here on Ye Olde Blogge.

I’ve noticed that in business, so many of us compare ourselves to our favorite gurus or mentors.

We carefully study their actions, words, and advice.

Their websites, hairstyles, and gestures.

Their lifestyles, relationships, and fabulous Instagram streams.

And we think, THAT’S what I need to do to be successful.

(Or we think, Why don’t I have that in my life? It’s not fair!)

But what if. . .

What if your favorite guru is a "Rita Routine" with her schedule-- and you aren't, never will be, and really don't WANT to be?

What if she has a boyfriend or husband who supports her-- and you’re going it solo?

What if she grew up believing in herself because of the positive messages she heard from her parents-- while you were often told (and believed) you’d never amount to much?

Now before you get depressed and think, Gee, thanks for pointing out that I don't have the right success factors in place--

What if (revisiting the above examples). . .

What if YOUR way of switching up the schedule instead of following a rigid routine is just plain genius? (What if your mentor wishes she could be a little more flexible, like you?)

What if being solo offers you WAY more time to hone your craft or market your offerings? (Remember, she's gotta carve out time to pay attention to that supportive partner.)

What if YOUR upbringing made you strong, determined, and resourceful? (There is actually no type of upbringing-- either good or bad-- that guarantees a person's outcomes later in life.)

The truth is this.

There is no life that suits you better than the one you already have.

(Tweet that, yo.)

Because for one? You can't have anyone else's life anyway. That's just a plain fact.

And secondly-- even if by some supernatural deed you WERE plunked down smack-dab in the middle of your favorite guru's life tomorrow. . .

Chances are good you'd do a lot of things differently anyway, simply because you're. . . well, you're YOU, and not her.

(Are you sensing a theme here?)

And here’s the most important ‘what if’. . .

What if by trying to:

• Do things the way she does
• Look more like her
• Make your website look more like hers
• Make your language sound more like hers
• Make your LIFE look more like hers

What if by doing all of that you’re actually STIFLING the brilliance that is you?

Because if your brain works THIS way, and hers works THAT way. . .

Then the two of you ought to be doing very different things in life.

And her way of doing things isn’t One. Single. Bit. Better than yours.

In fact, YOUR way of doing things is magnificent.

Your way of speaking, and gesturing, and writing, and styling your hair, and creating products, and teaching really is fantastic.

If you doubt that for a moment, it’s because you’ve become conditioned (we all have) to look outside yourself for answers and inspiration.

And here’s the deal.

You may not be your favorite hero, but you COULD be doing things on the same scale as she is.

If only? You’d stop looking at her and thinking that she has more going for her than you do.

That you should emulate her to succeed.

Or that your life, your circumstances, or your way of doing things isn't good enough.

Yeah, maybe she gets to eat grilled cheese and not gain weight (metaphorically or otherwise).

But maybe you get to hug an awesome kid each night, and she skipped motherhood.

Or maybe you get to sleep in on Saturdays, while she has to be up at the crack of dawn for a media appearance.

Or maybe you get to have everything 'just so' in your home, while her awesome boyfriend leaves his stuff lying everywhere in their house.

I'm not debating whether one is better than the other.

I'm merely pointing out that there are benefits-- and consequences-- to every type of lifestyle.

Remember— none of us goes through this life getting EVERYTHING we want.

The key to having loads of fun anyway is to become:

• Passionate about your OWN reality,
• Intimately familiar with your OWN sweet spot, and
• Unapologetic about your OWN approach to your life and business.

And when you master these three things?

Well. . . you won't even miss those grilled cheese sandwiches.

So now that I've confessed my embarrassing Single White Female teenage girl crush. . .

What about YOU?

Have you ever found yourself trying to walk in someone else's shoes?

And how, pray tell, has that worked out for you?

I'd LOVE to hear about it in the comments below.

For now, I'm off to grill up a. . . er, assemble a tasty salad. ;)

Anyway, I was just cranking up some Rebecca Black on my iPod. . .

(No, I’m kidding.)

Seriously—I was just wrapping up some client work and it suddenly occurred to me that you might be wrapping up YOUR week on something less than a high note.

I hope I’m wrong, but just in case it’s true. . .

Just in case you’re feeling anything other than on top of the world on the cusp o' this weekend. . .

I wanted to share something with you that I’ve been talking about with a few of my other friends and clients, but that bears repeating here.

You may already know my background, but in case you don’t, I thought I’d reveal a bit of it to illustrate a point that could be pretty important to you.

I started my very first side business, while holding down a 'real' job, back in 1997.

I set up a website on BigStep.com, and began to immerse myself in the world of ‘internet marketing’—although we didn’t use that term for it back then.

That first business was a corporate communications firm called Centerpointe Communications. (“We get right to your point.”)

My then-husband used to hand out my business card to his colleagues but he’d often come home and say to me, I tried to describe what you do, but I’m not even really sure myself!

To which I would reply, Join the club.

(Can we say, lack of clarity? All together now. . .)

Anyway, over the years I started and stopped an alarming number of side gigs (from selling chic baby products to designing closets), all while continuing to climb the corporate ladder in the field of medical technology.

The problem was that all of the jobs I held paid really well. Too well.

And with great pay came great responsibility.

And less time to dream, think, plan, and pursue my heart’s calling.

(And by the way, I didn’t even know what my heart’s calling was. So there was that.)

Fast forward to today.

And I’m smack-dab in the middle of a business doing what I love: teaching marketing, and spirituality, and personal development.

(Yeah, I can’t limit myself to marketing because, frankly, marketing is simply the anchor that ties my more esoteric mission to the practical purpose of ‘doing great stuff in the world.’)

Anyway.

I’m in the middle of life as a full-fledged entrepreneur, only a few days away from my 2-year anniversary of up-and-quitting my corporate management position. . .

And as I write this, a couple of key thoughts come to mind.

Number one?

DAMN am I sloooow.

And secondly?

But hey, I made it eventually!

And it occurred to me that YOU, on a Friday afternoon/evening/Saturday morning/whatever, might need to hear that. . .

No matter how long it takes for you to figure out your “thing”, communicate it, find the people who need it, and deliver it with excellence—the ONLY failure is giving up.

You’ve heard this before (from far more eloquent writers than I), but I felt the urge to share it with you again today.

And the truth about me is that there were many times over the past 17 years (it hurts to write that: Oh. Em. Gee. Seventeen. Years.) when I really wanted to give up.

In fact I DID give up. Lots of times.

I often got discouraged and tried to convince myself that maybe I just hadn’t given enough of my all to my corporate career.

That it really was crazy to think I could strike out on my own when What do I really have to offer anyway?

So I’d gird myself with ‘reason’ and walk back into the office with renewed passion for my job.

And every time. Every single time. I would find myself wondering eventually, Is this REALLY all there is to my life?

And when I finally DID up-and-quit that corporate job two years ago, I had no idea just what an, ahem. . . adventure entrepreneurship would be.

Honestly? It hasn’t been easy (in fact in the first 6 months or so, it was about as hard as it gets).

And even as it’s gotten easiER. . .

It still hasn’t been the way I had seen it portrayed by the celebrity coaches in high-gloss videos who told me I could have “the business and lifestyle of my dreams” (or whatever).

But thank god I didn't really know what I was in for.

Because then maybe I would have predicted failure for myself.

Not knowing that in my ignorance I would eventually meet with success.

And not that ‘success’ means I’m all done, by the way. (That’s a wrap, folks!)

Nope. I’ve still got lots of work and learning to do.

Yet I’ve also got lots of joy, and adventure, and opportunity in front of me.

And I want to let YOU know, today, no matter where you are on the path of entrepreneurship and where you want to go from here . . .

The answer to the question, When will I find success? is. . . whenever you don’t give up.

Because the only thing inevitable? Is that time will pass whether you keep going or not.

(Tweet that if ya feel inclined.)

Now, back to my Rebecca Black dance fest. ;)

Have a gorgeous weekend.

(No, not really. You didn’t ask. But I imagined that if you were paying close attention to what I’m up to, you might ask. And I have a perfectly good answer, which is why I wrote this post.)

It seems like most of the ‘successful’ people who have an online presence tend to write on a consistent basis.

And yet I do not.

The fact is, though, I write a LOT. Pretty much every day.

My computer, my journals, and about sixty-three thousand random scraps of paper are filled with my unpublished words.

I also write (or these days, edit) for private clients.

It’s just that I don’t write to YOU.

Here.

Consistently.

And it’s not because I don't think you're awesome. (I KNOW you are.)

Or because I don’t think what I write is ‘good enough’ for prime time.

I know I’m not, like, up for the Pulitzer Prize or anything—but I’m aware that I have a way with words. I am even comfortable accepting money for my writing (see above about client work).

So, it’s not fear of being judged or criticized that stops me.

It’s something else, and it has to do with more than just writing.

Recently, after a fair bit of introspection (read: excruciating over-analysis) I figured out what that something was.

The introspection began in earnest several weeks ago when I got an email from Pinterest that said something to the effect of:

We see that you may be using our website for business purposes; would you like to change your account to a business account?

And I thought, Sure, why not?

Seeing as I do not have the slightest clue what I am doing with my Pinterest account.

Anyway, I clicked over to the site and was presented with a list of categories into which I could plop myself, as a newly-minted Business User.

And as I scanned the list, I almost inserted myself by default into the category called Public Figure.

After all, that’s the category I was in over on The Big Blue (er, Facebook).

But as my mouse hovered over the menu of choices, I stopped to ask myself:

Wait a minute. . . AM I a public figure?

And it took ‘myself’ like zero point five seconds to answer:

Hellz to the NO! Are you kidding?!?

I mean, a public figure is someone like Oprah. Someone folks would recognize on the street.

I am definitely NOT someone who gets recognized on the street except by friends.

(And thank god for that because I really don't want to be on the cover of Us Weekly wearing my typical 'uniform' which consists of a baseball cap, t-shirt probably from Tar-zhay, and yoga pants.)

So in that moment of selecting my (accurate & realistic) Pinterest identity. . .

A part of the world I’d been living in for the past seven years began to unravel.

Now, I don’t mean unravel like a bad thing.

I mean. . . well actually, maybe I mean untangle.

Like when you have a pile of necklaces that have been engaging in an orgy in your jewelry drawer for the past three years, and one day you go to put one of them on and you’re already running late and you try to grab it, and all its partners in 18-karat depravity are clinging to it for dear life and you’re afraid you’re going to break its delicate chain but you have to get it out of that sinful gob of gold right now because I’m LATE, dammit!

Or something like that.

And it wasn’t as if this was my first go ‘round with that angry pile of co-mingled jewelry. In fact I’d sat with it on my lap, evening after evening, trying to find the source of the entanglement.

(I am speaking in metaphors here—you’re following that, right?)

So that I don’t confuse you, let me stop talking jewelry and be very plain about the entanglement of which I speak.

For the past several years I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery.

*Cue heartstring-tugging documentary track*

From the time I wrote my first blog post many years ago, I’ve been navigating this world of mostly online entrepreneurs.

And over the past year or two? I’ve noticed something really interesting.

If I were a psychologist (which I am not, so take this with a grain of salt), I’d call it. . .Entrepreneurial Narcissism.

No offense to those who are afflicted, because:

1. They’re probably not even aware they have it.
2. I know how it feels! I certainly thought it was The Way We Do Things Around Here at one time. (And by that I mean one really long-lasting time.)

Here’s how it manifests.

We set up a website, and in order to figure out how it should look, we visit the websites of the ‘superstars’ who have the kinds of businesses we’d like to have, so we can see what THEY are doing.

Sounds logical enough.

And what often follows is an episode of, Look at her amazing photos! Wow, she’s a good writer. She has HOW many testimonials? Damn, she’s been featured in every major news outlet on the continent.

And if we don’t fold our laptop closed, crumple over it, and proceed to short out the hard drive with a tsunami of tears. . .

We steel ourselves.

And resolve to piece together OUR version of that other entrepreneur’s site.

We make sure to include all the requisite elements necessary to create a generic (albeit lovely) version of Ms. Fancypants’s website.

We sprinkle the header or top right corner of every page of our website with an instant plea for our bedazzled visitor to sign up for our list, like NOW.

(Because, hello? “The money is in the list.” And of course, ‘the money’ is the shiz. The end-all. The sole purpose for being in business. Like, duh.)

We write about ourselves as if we’ve discovered the cure for cancer.

(Because we’re supposed to embrace our genius and shine bright, baby! No shrinking from the spotlight.)

We attempt to connect with our visitors by saying things like:

Follow me and I will rock your world.
I’m the best thing to happen to your business since EVER.
Look at the presents I made for you.

(Bearing in mind our websites are theoretically designed to welcome visitors from around the globe who’ve never met us and—presumably—couldn’t care less about what we’ve slaved away to make for them, that they never asked for in the first place.)

(And not even touching the Barry-White-tune-playing-in-the-background awkwardness factor of some of these almost-literally-plucked-from-someone's-site taglines.)

And it doesn’t end there.

Because on Facebook, our Ms. Fancypants hero is listed as a Public Figure.

Which means that of course we must do the same.

And on Twitter, she says something witty about her relationship to peanut butter.

So naturally we have to mention our favorite food. In a quirky way.

And on Instagram, we notice that she posts like 42 selfies a week.

*Commence littering of social media accounts with self-taken photos, anywhere, anytime.*

(DISCLAIMER: I am NOT damning selfies per se; merely pointing out that an excess of them may possibly indicate a case of Entrepreneurial Narcissism. You're so adorable that I bet everyone truly WANTS to see a million selfies of you. And remember, I’m not a psychologist. Also? I sincerely don’t mean any offense, so please don’t take this personally. Keep reading while I attempt to explain more fully.)

The thing is, many of the aforementioned tactics work for our Ms. Fancypants heroine, because she:

a) Got started online a decade ago and has built up enough clout that he can get away with it.
b) Is just plain FAMOUS (see: Oprah) so people are clamoring for her love and attention.
c) Has friends in high places and doesn't necessarily need to learn classical marketing techniques to succeed.

But most of US do not fall into those categories, and we end up looking a li'l silly (and being frustrated beyond belief because I'm doing everything 'right' and still no one is buying/signing up for my shiz!).

The hard truth is this.

Your heroine can probably get away with Entrepreneurial Narcissism, but you cannot.

(And by 'you' I mean 'me'.)

Ahem.

So. . .

Am I just whining about the state of the Internet? Or is there a point to this little rant?

And what does it have to do with YOU, anyway?

The answer is YES. There’s a point to the rant.

And yes, it DOES have to do with you.

And not because I think you have Entrepreneurial Narcissism.

(I actually doubt that you do. 'Cause you probably would have stopped reading by now.)

Anyway, remember how I started this rant by talking about how infrequently I’ve published in this space over the years?

I’d like to reveal the reason, and then talk about what it might mean for you and your own business.

First, the reason:

I despise the concept of 'content marketing.'

Which might sound kinda weird, since I am all about marketing and even teach a marketing class online.

And in that class, I certainly encourage students to have NO shame around marketing.

I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of what she has to offer.

If you’ve got something that surprises, delights, or (even better) helps to transform someone’s life, you ought to feel PROUD to market that shit, yo.

My issue is strictly around content marketing.

(If you’re not familiar with that term, keep reading because it should be clear in a moment what it is.)

Here is the problem with content marketing as I see it.

MOST of the hair-on-fire, market-like-they-mean-it online info-product entrepreneurs who are relying on content marketing as a major component of their overall strategy. . .

Have been taught the following Internet Marketing Commandment, handed down for at least a decade:

“Give away your BEST content on your website. This will cause people to wonder—if your free stuff is so great, how awesome must the paid stuff be??”

That’s a nice rule, in theory.

But it has two inherent flaws.

Inherent Flaw #1:

Sadly, what happens more often than not is that said entrepreneur basically provides the EXACT same stuff inside her paid program that she gives away for free.

It’s simply that she (or he) has packaged up the paid content to look nice.

Worse yet, what sometimes happens is that the free stuff is actually way BETTER than the paid stuff.

(And sometimes? The dude hasn’t even bothered to make the paid stuff look nice.)

Diagnosis: "I'm sorry to inform you that you are suffering from a severe case of over-marketing, with complications stemming from under-delivering."

And why does this happen?

Because the above Internet Marketing Commandment is missing the following clause:

“And then make sure your paid content really IS way better than your free content.”

(So like, uh. . . your customers don't feel fleeced and stuff.)

Now, an important aspect of the content-selling business is the issue of value.

Is it worth $20?

$10,000?

Or somewhere in the vast space between those two? Or, even MORE?

But that’s a topic for another time.

What I mean right now is simply that there is an obscene proliferation of paid programs that are almost exact duplicates of what’s written on someone’s blog—orworse, even LESS valuable than what's offered on someone's blog.

And why does THIS happen?

Because. . .

Inherent Flaw #2:

Most 'content marketers' are more interested in making money than in changing people’s lives.

There. I said it.

Anyone who reads this and instantly becomes offended because, I think she’s talking about ME! should totally take a deep breath and just chill for a minute, because I’m not talking about anyone in particular.

(First of all.)

And secondly. . .

Of the vast throng of people doing business (or trying to) online, the phrase 'content marketers' actually applies to a very small percentage. And I seriously don't think any of them read my blog.

And third. . .

If you are REALLY proud of the amazing content you sell, and you know in your heart that it adds value in the world, then I am DEFINITELY not talking to you.

On the other hand, if you know in your heart that you’re more concerned about how much money you make than about how much value you’re adding in the world. . .

Then honestly? I’m just pointing out that you might want to rethink that strategy if you’d like to feel great about yourself on your deathbed someday.

(But again, if that's you you're probably not even reading this. Do you like how I am now writing to NO ONE?)

Anyway, my point is not to. . . er, point fingers. It's simply to illuminate (to quote Jerry Maguire) “The things we think but do not say.”

Which brings me back to the topic of Entrepreneurial Narcissism, and why I haven't written on this blog very often.

(And by the way, you may have noticed that I've written about this before. What can I say. I have a theme going.)

While I admit freely that I love a good stage, and a spotlight shining on me while on that stage. . .

I really can’t stand Entrepreneurial Narcissism, nor can I stand fakey-fake content marketing.

And I’ve had a hard time seeing until recently how I could make use of this space without participating in either of those.

I mean, I’ve had it hammered into me how important it is to show up as an ‘expert’, and my natural inclination is to be a leader to begin with.

And this space (full disclosure!) scares me a little because of the above-mentioned proclivity for a stage and a spotlight.

I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I somehow think I'm blessing the unwashed masses with my divine opinions or advice.

(Because, barf. Arrogance much?)

And at the same time, I don’t want to offer up the same kind of opinions or advice that I charge for.

Yes, really.

Because if I did, then I would be like a (fictitious) heart surgeon who says, Hey, I’ll do this aortic valve replacement for free, but when you need your mitral valve done, I’ll have to charge you for that one. Just wait ‘til you see how much BETTER that procedure is!

In other words, it would actually cheapen the work that my customers and clients pay for.

And anyway, I could go around finding free content on other peoples’ blogs and just rewrite it here in my own voice. And by doing so trick you into thinking I’m an expert.

You see how easy it is to fool people on the Internet??

Oy, I’m sounding kind of cynical, so let me bring it back around to solutions.

In other words, What COULD we be doing instead of all this narcissism-ing?

Well obviously content isn't evil.

And I don't believe people are evil either. In fact I think the select cadre of true 'content marketers' are just so firmly entrenched in their habits that they don't see the bigger picture.

And I ALSO believe if the rest of us who are marketing online (or offline for that matter) followed 3 simple rules, we would improve the quality of the world's content like a thousandfold.

(So we could still give away free content without feeling skeezy! Is 'skeezy' a word? Anyway.)

Rule #1: Share useful content just because.

Meaning, share content you think others could benefit from, just because you think it would be cool to do so.

It could be your thoughts on a particular subject. It could be step-by-step tips for how to do something. Or it could be stories about what you or someone else has done, or learned. Whatever.

Just make it something that isn't SOLELY a lead-in to a paid offering.

Or that's SOLELY intended to grow your list so you can sell 'em something.

Or SOLELY because you are supposed to put out content on Tuesdays or whatever (y' know. . . to grow your list so you can sell 'em something.)

Make it something cool that the person could totally use to change something in her business or life, even if she never hired you, ever.

And imagine: if everyone did this, the 'internet marketing' world could become a totally fun party rather than a sleazy networking event.

And how do you know whether you're sharing content that you think would be helpful vs. sharing content for which you have an ulterior motive (i.e., you think it will drive subscribers and/or customers)?

Ask yourself:

Is this something I would share with a good friend whom I have no intention of turning into a client?

In other words, ask yourself whether there is ANY other motive for your sharing content than that you simply feel like writing something that might make a difference in someone's life.

'Cause even though the Internet has turned a few folks into vultures looking for their next prey, I still believe there are enough of us out there who have a sincere desire to create positive change in the world, that this rule is totally doable.

(Side note: including links to your paid stuff in content that is primarily meant to be helpful is, in my book, A-OK if it makes logical sense to do so. Because I'm not suggesting you HIDE what you have to offer.)

Rule #2: Let marketing be marketing.

If you're marketing something, just be about it, girl.

(Or dude.)

Forget the sneaky part where you feel you must find a way to market to someone without them really knowing it.

I mean, you realize, right, that people actually LIKE being sold to?

I myself am one of the most discerning folks I know (read: I’m a hard sell) and I STILL love being sold on something I really, really want—and something I actually feel will add value to my life.

In fact, research shows that an endorphin rush occurs at the moment we hit "Buy" or hand over our credit card at the brick-and-mortar shop.

And endorphins, if you don't already know about ‘em, are those hormone thingies that flood your system when you're making love, or exercising vigorously, or binge-watching Breaking Bad on Netflix.

So, when your customer buys from you, she is experiencing the same rush she gets when she's doing any of the above.

AND she's getting something incredibly valuable. . .

Right?

(Yes of course. Because YOU are committed to delivering value.)

Rule #3: Stop selling to people who don't want to be sold to.

One of the most pervasively annoying habits in ‘internet marketing’ has to be the tendency for some to feel that EVERY interaction is transactional.

That every single conversation is meant to lead to an eventual sale.

That every interaction you have on Facebook should include a request to 'like' your page.

That you can't just talk to someone because. . . well, because you want to talk to that person.

(To be fair, it isn't just on the internet that you find these folks. They're everywhere that 'networking' takes place across the globe.)

Here's a way to implement this 'stop selling to everyone' rule immediately.

If you find yourself waking up in the morning thinking, How can I grow my business? try an alternative question.

(And NO, there's nothing wrong with growing your business! But this question will also help you do that.)

Here it is:

How can I make a difference in others' lives?

When you ask this question no matter how much or how little you have in the bank at the time, something magical happens.

I'd heard others say this for years, and back when I still had quite a few limiting thoughts and beliefs around money, I thought it was bogus.

But now that I've lived it and seen how powerful it is in my life, I can't help but share it here.

And I have a proposition for you.

TRY IT.

Even if you have like $0.17 in the bank (and believe me, I've been there and worse!).

Try asking yourself what you can contribute to the world regardless of the price tag associated with it.

Because, as Zig Ziglar said:

You can have everything you want in life, if you will just help enough other people get what THEY want.

And ol’ Zig enjoyed a nice, long, non-scammy life & career doing something valuable for others (i.e., teaching them how to live meaningful lives of excellence).

And if Ziglar’s words don’t mean anything to you, A Course In Miracles says:

(You know what? THAT should be tweeted. 'Cause we need more reminders to contribute rather than consume, don'tcha think?)

Anyway, the bottom line is this.

When you focus on contribution rather than worrying about how much money you’re making (or not making), miracles happen.

The Universe begins to bend in your favor, and serendipities occur.

Not to say you don’t have to take ACTION, of course.

But let that action stem from a desire for contribution, rather than the fear of running out of money (or not having enough subscribers, or fans, or love or whatever).

So now that I've thought all of this out (and written it in this epic-length blog post). . .

Am I going to write to you more often?

While the world will continue spinning on its axis whether I do or not, I'm actually feeling that YES, I will.

Because now that I've diagnosed my early-stage Entrepreneurial Narcissism and taken some medication to cure it (meaning, a strong dose of reality). . .

I realize I have a LOT to talk about. And none of it has to do with how awesome I am.

Honestly, it has more to do with how awesome YOU are.

This epic-length post is actually meant to christen the new space.

*Cue smashing of champagne bottle*

Please have a look around, because there's some new stuff I think you'll like. Especially if, like me, you're ready to break out of the 'internet marketing bubble' and move to another (dare I say more sophisticated?) level.

Anyway, if you're still reading this ("Oh my god this woman writes the LONGEST blog posts!"), then thank you for your valuable time and energy. It means a lot to me.

And I hope that there was something of value in here for you too. Even if it was just to know that someone else thinks like you do.

(Solidarity is important! Yes?)

For now, over and out.

I'll talk to you again real soon. ;)

My good friend Bill has often called it “We’re So Bitchen” Syndrome.

It’s when a business owner (or top management in a corporation) is so focused on how amazing their product or service is that they don’t step outside of it for a moment to see what perils may befall it in the marketplace.

And today, because I’m in a teaching sorta mood, I want to discuss briefly one such pitfall as it relates to (wait for it…)

MARKETING!

*Cue shocked look*

Specifically, I’m going to share with you how to approach your advertising with Customer Goggles on— so you can see how your business looks from her perspective, and help HER see your business as the solution to exactly what she wants and needs.

Because you ARE pretty bitchen, yes?

(Hey, why not pay that compliment forward with a tweet— a RHYMING tweet no less.) :)

**NOTE: For the purposes of this article, ‘advertisting’ means ANY customer communication— such as any social media post, website copy, or email— because it should all be working toward the same goal.

Okay, so what do most people do when they craft an ad?

Often they ask themselves, What should I say?

Not a terribly effective question.

And it’s almost just as often followed by the statement, I have no idea what to say.

*Cue deflating balloon sound.*

(Followed by sophomoric chuckle.)

Fortunately, there’s a better way.

Rather than crafting an ad by digging around in your OWN thoughts for something to say, a much more effective method is to begin with your customer’s thoughts.

Specifically, the 3 thoughts that will prevent her from getting the help she needs by purchasing your totally bitchen product or service.

Thought #1 // “This is what’s bothering me.”

You have to get familiar with the customer’s psychology around your product or service.

• What is it that bugs her, that you can help her solve?
• What is it that keeps her up nights worrying, that you can help her get rid of?
• What’s broken and needs fixing?

Now if you know me at all, you know I don’t really believe that ultimately ANYTHING is ‘broken’— but my ego sure does step in to disagree quite often.

In other words, I’m human.

Which means that on a regular basis I’m quite convinced that things need fixing, from my waistline to my shoe collection to my pile of desktop papers.

And your customer is just the same. She can always find something she’d like to see improved or transformed in her life.

And this is where you want to begin.

Create a list of everything she wants or needs that she doesn’t currently have.

And then climb inside her mind AGAIN, because the next thought on it is:

Thought #2 // “This is what I don’t want to admit about it.”

Now this is where it gets really juicy— because if you’re reading this then I KNOW you’re all about using marketing principles for good and not evil.

And I KNOW you’re out to make a difference in people’s lives— not just sell ‘em a SUPER DUPER WIDGET™ and move on.

And when you start to examine the things-she-thinks-but-does-not-say, you start to get to the heart of where true change occurs.

Fact: if someone claims they want something yet they don’t have it, it’s because they’re still getting something out of NOT having it.

They’re blocked from the receiving of it by a thought or belief, which may be so deeply rooted that it’s almost imperceptible to them, but which nonetheless creates a tremendous amount of resistance.

As a marketer, if YOU can pinpoint this resistance and bring it to light, you’ll be the Holy Grail of customer transformation.

Meaning— you’ll be THE answer she’s searched high and low for. The thing that finally solves her problem, meets her need, or gets her out of the massive pain she’s in.

(And how cool is it to help someone get out of massive pain?! I mean, SERIOUSLY.)

But even when you’ve clearly addressed the hidden, underlying resistance and shown your customer just how she can ultimately benefit from your offering, most of the time you’ll still be met with:

Thought #3 // “I don’t really want to fix it.”

Whaaaat?!?

How is that possible?

Here is this person in a great deal of pain or frustration, or even just discomfort— and when handed a valuable solution in exchange for a fair price…

She’s like, No thanks. I’ll stay miserable.

But yes, that’s how we humans operate.

As I teach in The Honeygirl Customer Attraction Method, your REAL competition lies within your customer herself.

We humans are notoriously horrible at fixing our problems.

When someone comes along with a solution, we can actually feel a little irritated that they’ve given us a renewed sense of hope.

We thought our issue was unsolvable!

And now here you are telling us you can solve it for us?

What are we to do? Should we trust you? Will it be worth handing over our money to find out?

The psychological complexities of this particular thought process are far too profound to cover in detail here.

The important thing for you to remember is:

Always assume your prospect does NOT want to buy what you’re selling.

I know that sounds kinda harsh (and it may not be true 100% of the time) but if you approach your advertising from that standpoint…

Then you’ll take the time necessary to ferret out those objections she’s clinging to and demonstrate that what you offer is even more valuable than the money she’ll exchange in return.

Okay, let’s pull it together with an example.

You’re a personal trainer, and a prospective client says she wants to get in shape.

So, okay— what’s bugging her is that she dislikes looking at herself in the mirror naked.

She dreads any activity that might require her to wear a sleeveless dress, shorts, or a swimsuit.

She hates the feeling of flab jiggling around her waist when she walks.

She really, really wants to get fit.

She wants to feel tight and toned, to admire her reflection in the mirror, and to be able to easily slip her favorite pair of sexy jeans over her hips.

But she’s resistant.

She’s worried that she’ll become boring if she starts taking care of herself.

That she won’t have time for her work and family anymore if she carves out time for workouts.

That she’ll spend all this time working on her fitness and end up looking bulky.

That if she starts looking at her diet and changing her habits, she’ll end up taking the lonely Detour of Deprivation while all her friends will be riding high on the Indulgence Interstate.

That the workouts will actually work, (and I know this one might seem nuts but it is SO valid) and she’ll get too skinny for her clothes and have to buy a whole new wardrobe, and how much will THAT cost?

And these are just a few areas of potential resistance. There could be LOTS more.

(When you start looking at it through this lens you can see that your job as a marketer is MUCH more than just ‘sell a product’— it can be ‘transform an entire belief system’!)

In order to address all this resistance it’s important to paint a picture of the customer’s ULTIMATE benefit from working with you.

To give just ONE example (for the sake of brevity here)— perhaps you have a specific method of tracking your clients’ measurements that assures she reaches her target goal and doesn’t go TOO far— thereby relieving her of the fear of being too skinny for her wardrobe.

Is it making sense how this works?

(Just checking, ‘cause I can get pretty geeked out on this stuff…)

Okay, so now you’ve addressed the problem, uncovered the hidden resistance— and now it’s time to look at objections to taking action.

Those might include:

I can just do it myself using the workout I saw in Shape magazine last week.

I don’t have the money.

Has it ever worked for other people who are just like me?

I’m not sure I can trust this trainer— where did she receive her certification?

I hate waking up early for workouts.

And on and on.

And for each possible objection (and remember, assume she has a LOT of objections!) you can come up with at least one alternative to that objection.

And here’s where it gets really interesting.

If you find that your product or service needs some tweaking after you’ve walked yourself through this entire process— it’s not too late to do something about it!

You see, marketing is NOT something you tack on at the end of product development.

When done right, marketing is a living, breathing part of your entire product lifecycle.

Okay, that’s it for today, fearless marketing genius.

Be sure to take ACTION on what you just read.

Take out a sheet of paper and jot down your customer’s thoughts around your particular product or service and how YOUR bitchen work addresses each of them.

Your customers are depending on you to change their lives. :)

You see, every morning when I wake up, I head into the kitchen first thing to pour myself a big glass of water.

And every morning, I find a mess on my floor.

Is it mice? Cockroaches? What could be making this strange mess each night?

Nope, it’s not mice.

And cockroaches? Eeewwww. I would move out so fast there’d be flames lining my exit path.

No, what’s making the mess on my floor is my cat.

And he doesn’t just make the mess at night. He makes it throughout the day, every time he snacks on his crunchy food.

He has this strange (at least in my experience) habit of scooping the food out of the dish with his paw and then eating it off the ground.

And then he leaves little bee-bee sized crumbs scattered around his food dish.

Now, if I were to sweep up the crumbs every time he ate? No big deal. The kitchen floor would remain pretty clean and probably only need sweeping once or twice a week.

But because I DON’T sweep after his every meal—well, the crumbs spread all over the kitchen floor throughout the day as we trudge in and out for various meals and beverages. I’m constantly picking them off the soles of my bare feet and throwing them into the trash can.

(And washing my hands with soap afterward, thank you very much. I’m not a barbarian.)

But heaven forbid I should sweep up the crumbs each time I find them on my kitchen floor!

Nope. The crumb fairies’ll handle the job.

So what does this have to do with entrepreneurship?

Well, as I was sweeping up yet again today (those lazy crumb fairies are fired) I realized I had this dialogue running in my head.

Like, I just swept yesterday! Why is this mess on the floor again?

And suddenly, I began to chuckle.

Because I realized that this ‘crumb-y’ situation (hardy har har) was teaching me a little something about entrepreneurship—and LIFE.

Now that I’m in business for myself, I sometimes forget what life was like during the 20+ years when I worked in either a gray cubicle or (gasp!) even a fancy light-filled corner office.

Now that I’m an entrepreneur? I sometimes find myself complaining ‘cause I have so much WORK to do.

“I can’t even take a quick jaunt out of town without the work getting out of control!”

What a mess, right?

I mean, how god-awful is it to actually have clients and customers who want my time, attention, and talents.

It’s just terrible. I should go back to work in Corporate Ameri…

No.

I should stop complaining and start LOVING the damn life I have.

Like, seriously.

If I’m sweeping up those cat food crumbs and forgetting how cute my little feline friend is…

Percival "Percy" Jackson , Crumb Perpetrator

…and how much I love when he snuggles up next to me on the couch or climbs onto my lap and starts purring like a doll-sized, slightly-muted jackhammer (now there’s a simile you don’t hear every day)…

Then I’m waaaay far away from love and smack dab in the middle of suffering—no matter how mild that suffering may be.

Instead of lamenting my lot in life, and hoping the crumb fairies will do my work for me, I could simply accept that sweeping up crumbs is part of owning, and loving, Percy.

If I want to own and love a cat, I have to do things like feed it, and clean its litter box, and take it to the vet when needed.

And clean up after the cute little furball.

And if I want to own and love my business and be a REAL entrepreneur…

Like, the kind who doesn’t sit around whining because I have to do actual work instead of spending my day getting massages and lying in the sun with an umbrella drink in my hand…

Then I’m going to have to do such things as help my clients achieve their goals, help students in my programs learn new things, design products, plan marketing campaigns, write sales copy, handle irritating technological issues, try to find good help, and a host of other things that a person in business for herself must do.

In other words, work.

Huh.

I’m going to make a horrible admission here and say that I hadn’t really thought of that back when I was in my cushy corporate job.

I mean, of course I had to get plenty of work done (most of it was of an ilk I detested—sorry former bosses, now you know the truth).

But I think somehow I linked up ‘work’ with having a job, and ‘fun’ with striking out on my own.

And honestly? Now that I’ve been on both sides of the coin, I see that there are advantages and disadvantages to each.

Which is an entirely bland way of saying:

Life will never seem easy, no matter what your situation. Deal with it.

It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you’re on, the grass is ALWAYS greener over at the neighbor’s.

Always.

As long as you let your mind convince you that it is.

Now, lest you think I’m being cynical about life here—let me explain that I do NOT mean, Life sucks.

In fact on most days I think life totally rocks.

(Like everyone, I of course have those days where I want a refund, or to exchange my life with, say, a princess. No, scratch that. Everyone gives princesses a hard time when they don’t lose the baby weight within 48 hours of giving birth.)

But anyway.

What I mean about ‘dealing with it’ is that life is actually set up for our growth (figuratively, once we’re adults).

It’s designed to further our personal + spiritual evolution.

That’s why it doesn’t seem easy.

‘Cause if it did, then we’d get all slothful and quickly become bored.

And the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can actually start to ENJOY the process of dealing with life’s curveballs.

They’re keeping us on top of our game, after all.

Now you don’t have to take my word for it on this theory. In fact, I’m not even going to build a case for it.

The advantages to embracing life’s curveballs, however, are many.

For one? You can stop complaining every time something happens that disagrees with what you thought you wanted.

And when you stop complaining, you have more time for creating.

And when you have more time for creating, you find yourself thrust into exciting new situations you had no idea existed.

With each new situation come joys + sorrows (I know that sounds a little sermon-ish, but it’s true).

And with those joys + sorrows come opportunities for growth.

Brilliant, right?

Yep, pretty sure I’m the first to have said all this. You can send me a private message if you want to know where to send my Nobel Prize.

But seriously.

The BIG advantage to accepting life on its own terms is best summed up in some words I read recently from Michael Singer in his brilliant book The Untethered Soul(a must-read if you ask me).

He writes:

You have given your mind an impossible task by asking it to manipulate the world in order to fix your personal inner problems. If you want to achieve a healthy state of being, stop asking your mind to do this. Just relieve your mind of the job of making sure that everyone and everything will be the way you need them to be so that you can feel better inside. Your mind is not qualified for that job. Fire it, and let go of your inner problems instead.

In other words…

Stop trying to control the world, and learn to control your mind instead.

(Tweet it!)

Now, I realize I’m getting a little deep here.

The cat food crumbs on my kitchen floor are not causing me deep inner turmoil.

But they are an amusing entrée into my sometimes painful thoughts about being in business for myself—and frankly, enjoying my freakin’ LIFE.

I think that’s why God put them there.

Percy (aka “God”). Sleeping with one eye open, natch.

Anyway, I ran over here to my computer to write you this message so I could share it with you, just in case you needed the entrée into your own thoughts.

And because cat photos are always a pleasant diversion.

So, I’ve got to get back to sweeping up those crumbs and finishing up my work.

Until next time, here’s to being on top of our game.

Inexplicably, there is a Photoshopped image of a small, cute, furry creature on my blog.

Anyway …

Confession time.

I have a secret email account that I use to subscribe to:

// Lists I want to test-drive before deciding whether it’s worth it (or safe) to use my REAL email address

// Friends’ lists I want to secretly watch so I can help them

// Friends’ lists whose spirits I don’t want to crush should I choose to unsubscribe later

// Seemingly successful marketers I want to spy on but not necessarily purchase from

// Marketers who are clearly smarmy, inauthentic, or in some other way distasteful to me, whose emails I want to read so I can gather material for what NOT to do

Yeah, and my confession is around that last category.

(What? You thought I was ‘fessing up about the secret account? Don’t YOU have one?)

Okay. . . I’ll get to my confession in a minute, but first I want to let you know that. . .

Even though I consider myself a rather masterful (mistressful?) marketer, I have done EVERYTHING wrong.

Like, soooo wrong.

For instance? I haven’t set up nearly enough social media accounts.

I’m basically on Facebook and Twitter. And by that I mean I’m basically on Facebook. ‘Cause Twitter is for cool people. And I’m … not.

I’ve made videos that were way too long and didn’t get to the point fast enough and didn’t have professional or even semi-professional lighting and backdrops and production (and that a bunch of people wrote to tell me they loved).

I’ve written about stuff I just wanted to write about on my blog. Like stuff that wasn’t particularly business-y but I felt moved to write it so I did.

I’ve failed to plan launches far enough in advance to get partners with ginormous lists to promote my programs (and still managed to enroll lots of fabulous students within only a few days).

I haven’t gone to conferences to try and meet A-listers.

When I had a year-long teleclass series, I never asked a single A-lister to get on the line with me and I almost always chose people with smaller followings, because I wanted to give them exposure and introduce new voices for people to listen to instead of the same recycled group of about 5-10 that I seem to see interviewed over and over and over (and over and over) again.

(BTW- I kinda hate the term ‘A-lister’ but I only used it here because it’s pretty recognizable. And I want this article to flow somewhat. It’s probably too late for that though.)

Back to my walk of shame.

I almost never go to networking meetings.

I don’t have business cards.

I don’t really SEOptimize my website or my blog posts.

I don’t issue press releases.

I’ve only guest-blogged… once?

*scratches head trying to remember*

I don’t write to you with strict, schoolmarm-like consistency.

I’ve only taken a few programs online to teach me how to market. I mean, like 4 different ones over the past 16 years or so. Everything else I’ve learned by reading and observing closely.

(And by closely? I mean obsessively.)

Anyway, I can’t even think of all the other things I do wrong right now.

This list is mortifying enough, especially for someone who calls herself a marketer.

I mean, how on earth am I even making money?

*scratches head trying to work out answer*

And yet here I am, a single mother, living in Southern California— a rather expensive-ish place to live. And this gorgeous little business has done quite well supporting me and my son, despite all my many egregious mistakes and glaring omissions.

I’m not even eating Ramen noodles.

(In fact, today I ate mostly organic fruits and vegetables and drank mostly organic white tea with birch sugar. Which is a much prettier name for Xylitol. Which you should totally check out as a sweetener because even dentists give out candy that is made of it.)

Back to this amazing life that I love.

I have loads of freedom over my time. In fact, I have the freedom to get waaaay behind when things hit the fan.

For instance, recently while I was dealing with one of the most stressful experiences of my past few years, I basically set my business aside for awhile.

I mean, I did some stuff, but not nearly ‘enough’.

And no one gave me a demerit, or whatever you would call it in the corporate world.

I have the freedom to sleep in when I want or take a nap during the day.

I can take my son to the pool now that it’s summer, or take him to the movies in the middle of the day, and work when I want to work.

Sometimes I like to stay almost up all night and work. And other times I like to go to bed really early and just sleep for 10 hours straight.

And I get to do that.

(Okay, not ALWAYS. My son needs breakfast. And I’m his wheels around town. But you get the point.)

I have control over my schedule. I don’t have to sit in a gray cubicle waiting for Lumbergh to swing by, sip his coffee, and tell me he’s gonna have to go ahead and ask me to come in on Saturday. And Sunday too.

I get to be an independent. And still make plenty of money.

And I’ve done everything wrong.

Did you get that?

Basically I haven’t done anything right.

And I’m doing really well.

(Okay, just making sure you got it.)

But here’s the thing.

You remember my confession above—the one about those marketers whose lists I wanted to spy on to gather How Not To Market stories?

Well, I was cleaning out my fake inbox the other night and I got to thinking.

Or rather I got to nearly puking.

Yes, I admit it! I was kinda hating on those entrepreneurs in my mind!

Every other email was like, Look at my triple-platinum client who just brought in $6 million dollars this month! She’s dripping in money and she travels the world in style! You too can get these results if you pay me $15K for a half-day!

And I was all, Yuck. Pewww.

And I’m not one of those who readily cops to that kind of attitude, because I’m like all about the Tao and I totally believe that it is a waste of time to dwell on hating what other people are doing, since there really isn’t anything good or bad, ultimately.

(And also because it’s a great way to get insight into what YOU are doing. And I don’t want to believe that I am smarmy or inauthentic. But anyway.)

Back to the smarmy marketers.

Let me first say that I have NOTHING against a $6 kazillion dollar month. Or traveling the world in style.

And I don’t have anything against a $15K half-day!

I couldn’t care less if someone wants to charge or pay that much for coaching or consulting, or what-have-you.

What makes me want to puke is two things, which I will address separately.

Thing #1 // The pure emphasis on material success

Even the spiritual ‘goddess-y’ types are so often ALL about the dolla’, as well as about taking photos of themselves in fabulous locations all over the world, dressed in ball gowns and wearing tiaras, throwing their heads back in laughter so they look like they MUST be perpetually joyful and dripping in riches.

And as a marketer, I am well aware that this is what sells.

If you craft your marketing materials with an emphasis on the financial and lifestyle benefits your potential client or customer will gain—you’ll get her attention.

That’s a given. I even teach it to my private clients and students.

Your marketing has to show prospects that your product or service is worth more than the money they’re about to fork over for it.

But there’s a line—I really think there’s a line—that gets crossed between doing that, and just blatantly focusing on money, money, money, money.

Five-figure months. 6-figure years. 7-figure empires.

Trips to Italy, Spain, and the South of France. Sprawling homes. Champagne bubbling over onto poolside patio tables at posh parties.

An emphasis on money + materialism, without the soul of life itself.

(More on that in a minute.)

Thing #2 // None of it seems inspiring or original or of REAL substance

If a quick scan through my inbox yields 14 different ‘newsletters’ that look exactly the same with different logos (same basic template, same message, even the same wording), there’s something not quite right.

I’ve already talked about the emphasis on money over soul.

But what about creativity?

What about the ART of entrepreneurship?

Groove Armada once said, If everybody looked the same, we’d get tired of lookin’ at each other. . . and I for one agree.

I’m tired of looking at everyone looking the same!

In fact, I’m taking a stand.

And I’m making a promise.

My stand: I will NOT encourage you to do anything (for instance, any of the things I’ve massively skipped doing) that makes you feel icky, bored, or like you’re trapped in another 9-to-5 job, all so you can make a buck.

(In fact, that’s the reason I haven’t done all those things I listed above. They all sound boring, icky, and way too ‘required’ for me to want to do them.)

My promise?

I will never create a program that has the word platinum, diamond, gold, silver, or any other precious metal or stone or semi-precious stone in its name.

I just might create the Cubic Zirconia Mastermind.

Or the Silver-Plated Copper Marketing Mentorship.

And since I’m a big tiara fan, I may adorn one lucky client with a 3-pound bronze one as a special bonus for subscribing to one of my programs.

(Okay no. I’m not a tiara fan.)

But I will NEVER ask you to join anything that makes you feel like you need a ball gown, or business casual attire, or even a stack of hey-let’s-kill-some-more-trees-when-we-could-just-be-exchanging-true-conversations-and-then-sharing-our-digital-deets business cards in order to fit in.

I will never take pictures of my oozing-with-money clients and tell you that if you learn my system for upselling and reselling and overselling, you too can ooze with money.

I will never put the emphasis on six or seven figures rather than on your ability to change lives.

Okay, so I know I need to talk about money here for a minute.

Because you may be thinking right now, “Dude. Chill out. You HATE money, don’t you?”

And that’s NOT true at all.

I think money is fantastic.

In fact, I hate being poor.

Eating Ramen noodles. Having to count and roll pennies to pay for gas (yes, I did that once many years ago, right there at the gas station counter). Logging on to an overdrawn bank account. Not being able to sleep at night worrying about how I’ll pay rent.

Look. I’ve done all those things, and I am not in love with them. Not at all.

I love having money SO much more.

So just in case it’s not clear: I really, really appreciate money.

I’m truly grateful when I have plenty of it.

But you know what?

It’s been my experience (and I’m pretty sure it’s also the experience of most if not all of those whom we consider ‘heroes’) that. . .

Abundance follows you around when you’re on a mission to transform lives.

(And you can tweet me on that.)

It’s like, as soon as you forget about the moola, it can’t help but come find you. (Hey, over here! Didja miss me?)

So how am I making this comfortable living in Southern California even though I’m doing everything wrong?

You might ask.

Well, here’s the thing.

I’ve realized over the years that I do some things extraordinary well.

Just a few key things. And really, I don’t need to do a ton of things well to succeed.

And neither do YOU.

So what do I do well?

I tell stories.

I make people laugh.

I open up about what’s really going on in my mind AND behind the scenes of my business (as well as other people’s businesses – while maintaining confidentiality of course!).

I write purdy good. ;)

I connect with my clients and my students.

I listen. REALLY listen.

I give people permission to be who they are. (Sometimes even when they don’t realize they need permission.)

And I really, really, really, REALLY want to see my clients and students and friends succeed.

I also want to see the world be the best it can possibly be. And I think that starts with me.

And that is why I have 5 simple rules for business that I encourage everyone to follow.

Don’t be deceived by how simple they are— they’re incredibly effective.

And they’re basically the reason I’ve been successful despite doing everything ‘wrong’.

Without further ado …

My 5 simple rules for having an awesome business (and life):

1. Be yourself.

2. Trust yourself.

3. Don’t do a bunch of stuff you hate just because someone else said you should.

4. Show up. Be as brilliant as you know you really are. (Yes, when you’re not busy bashing yourself, you know you are brilliant.)

5. Give us the transformation we’re looking for.

Now on that last point—if you’re unclear on the transformation people are looking for, you should totally check out this free resource I created for you.

But I don’t want you to think this novel-length post was a prelude to me telling you about it.

(As if! Everyone knows people don’t read sh#t that’s this long so you’re probably not even reading anymore.)

Still, if you’re interested, go here and get yourself hooked up so you don’t miss out on it.

‘Kay, I’m over and out for now.

Shine on, crazy diamond.

She calls you each day and leaves a unique message.

Some days it’s, Hey there! Just wanted to let you know that you rock! You totally crushed it during that client meeting today.

Other days it’s more like, Why are you still here? Didn’t I fire you a long time ago? You aren’t even worth the paper your paycheck is printed on.

(‘Boss-y Dearest’ much?)

Ridiculous, right?

And yet what if I told you that it’s absolutely true?

That you DO report to this boss, and she controls:

// How much you can charge for your products and services?

// How many clients or customers you can have?

// How big an impact you can have in the world with your work?

FACT: This bizarre boss is alive and well and in charge of everything you do in your business.

Her name?

Imagination.

That’s right, Imagination is the boss of everything that happens in your business (and your life).

Let’s take pricing, for example.

What determines how much you can charge for something?

Nope, it’s not the marketplace. It’s not ‘how much people will pay for this’.

// A MacBook Pro starts at $1199. A PC laptop? You can snag one for less than $500

// A pair of Gucci flip-flops starts at $315. Yet you can buy a pair at the drugstore in the summertime for around $15.

-:- You can have your locks luxuriously trimmed at NYC’s John Barrett Salon starting at $125. Or you can head over to Supercuts and get your curls clipped for less than $30.

Yes, of course, production and/or overhead costs are a factor in each of these examples, but at the end of the day the wide price differential has less to do with cost itself than with the meaning and the passion behind each of these brands.

Premium brands don’t compete on price, because they provide value (via customer experience) that goes way beyond the parts or costs that make up their products and services.

And where does value come from?

It comes from asking, How can I make enough people insanely happy with my product or service that I don’t need to compete on price?

And then letting Imagination bring you the answer.

(By the way, I’m not suggesting you must become a premium brand! There’s room for all sorts of pricing strategies in this great wide world. I’m merely pointing out that your pricing is only limited by your Imagination.)

Let’s talk about your customers. How many can you have?

Answer: as many as you can imagine yourself having.

It’s as simple as that. You will not attract more customers than you can imagine yourself serving (and serving well).

So if your client or customer Rolodex is thinner than a sheet of one-ply, imagine yourself with the nice, plump number you WANT instead.

And I don’t mean just think about it for a sec; I mean REALLY imagine it.

Get into the feeling of having X number of customers or clients.

// How often are you talking with clients?

// How widely is your product distributed?

// What are your customers saying about your products and services?

And how does it FEEL to be living in this scenario?

Now let’s talk about your impact on the world.

How big do you want it to be?

(It’s totally okay, by the way, if you don’t want it to be huge!)

Big or small, though—you must imagine it first.

// If you’re a writer, speaker, coach, consultant, or other expert—what’s the size of your platform?

// If you create products—where do you see them? Whom do you see using them?

// If you’re an artist—where is your work featured? Who raves about it?

And if you’re one or all of the above: do you want to leave a legacy through your business?

Like Steve Jobs, do you want to ‘put a ding in the universe’?

Whatever you want to be, do, or have in your business — your bizarre boss is in charge of it.

Click to tweet that (or somethin’ like it) ;)

Now I mentioned a minute ago that this boss of yours is a bit mercurial.

One day she showers you with praise, the next she convinces you that you’re worthless.

So what to do when it’s one of those ‘worthless’ days?

#1: Close your eyes and take three deeeeeep breaths. (Basic, I know. And yet supremely effective.)

#2: Talk to your Bizarre Boss. Say to her, Hey Boss, would you please work with me on this? I really need your help. Since I know you’re capable of moving mountains (literally) I’d like you to cut the verbal abuse, roll up your sleeves, and get to work bringing my desired outcome about. Thanks.

#3: Wait. Not sit-on-your-hands wait. Wait while working. But wait knowing that what you want is on its way.

The most interesting thing about this bizarre boss called Imagination is how she works behind the scenes.

She’s in charge even when you think YOU are.

Which is why you need to ‘train’ her. You need to approach her with what you WANT instead of letting her run without your intentional interference.

And here’s the icing on the cake about your bizarre boss.

Unlike any of the ‘in-the-flesh’ bosses with whom you may have had a sketchy relationship—this one absolutely, 100% wants to see you succeed.

PS – If you’ve ever felt stifled by YOUR bizarre boss, share the love! Click ‘like’ or send a tweet below. This message might be just what someone else needs to hear today.

I was returning an expensive bag I had bought a few weeks earlier—a gorgeous bag, but not right for me.

I kind of felt pushed into buying it, I added unnecessarily.

(At Nordstrom they rarely ask questions about why you’re returning something.)

But the sales associate empathized with me. I’m sorry that happened, she said.

And I realized that, while I wasn’t upset—my experience around this bag had been the perfect example of poor marketing.

Here’s why.

I had arrived at the store looking for a new bag to replace the one I’d been carrying around for the past two years or so.

And because I already really liked the bag I was carrying—and was NOT shopping for a new one out of ‘this-will-make-me-feel-better-about-myself’ motivation—I was okay with being really picky and waiting until I found the bag that was JUST right for me.

But that day in the Nordstrom handbag department, the sales associate had shadowed me as I picked up each bag, declaring her opinion on each one immediately after I’d slung it over my arm.

That one is too big for your frame.

No… that one isn’t the right one.

THAT is the bag for you. Oh yes, that’s it. You need that bag!

And while I hadn’t really minded her commentary until then (okay, I minded it a little— I prefer peace and quiet when I’m making a purchasing decision), I felt an inner disagreement when she insisted that THIS bag was right for me, and I tried to express it to her.

Me: Yeah, I’m not totally sure thi—

Sales Associate: NO! THAT IS THE BAG YOU MUST BUY. BUY IT NOW- OR ELSE!!

(Okay, I might be exaggerating a teeeeensy bit. But anyway.)

Of course I DID let her talk me into purchasing that bag— and ended up returning it later.

So what went wrong?

The same thing that goes wrong with all ineffective marketing.

I was being sold something I didn’t really want—and didn’t even need.

I was being pushed to decide that THIS was the right thing for me.

Had the sales associate taken the time to understand my wants and needs instead of deciding them for me, chances are good I would have purchased my ‘just right’ bag that day and kept it.

Here were the main issues:

I don’t like bags that can’t easily be slung over my shoulder. This was a ‘throw it over your forearm’ type of bag.

I like bags that- when they are slung over my shoulder- rest somewhere right around my waist. This bag, which did come with an optional (very long) strap, either had to be hoisted over my head and worn cross-body, or would flap annoyingly against my lower half when I walked.

I like bags that are made of light leather and have very few bells and whistles. This bag was made of thick, heavy leather and had details like tassels and heavy hardware that I found annoying after carrying it around for a short while.

Now, I might be a little weird because I can articulate all these things about my handbag preferences— but if the sales associate had taken even a moment to ask me what I like and don’t like in a bag, she would have had a much better chance of helping me discover one that met all my ‘needs’ PLUS had other factors I haven’t even mentioned that make me go, I must have this bag, NOW.

And yes, although sharing this experience with you makes me look like a pushover (hey, I returned the bag eventually!), sometimes aggressive sales and marketing works— temporarily.

And yet— even though it worked on me that day, I didn’t walk away with a satisfied spring in my step.

Instead, I walked away feeling stinky (okay, not LITERALLY) for letting myself be talked into my purchase.

You do NOT want your customer to feel stinky after making a purchase with you.

(Obviously. And you can tweet me on that.)

So how can you avoid this marketing mistake?

You may not be interacting with your customers in a retail environment, but ANY time you’re marketing to them— any time you want to influence a decision— start with the customer’s needs in mind.

In fact, you’re probably NOT working in a retail environment, which gives you a leg up here. You can plan in advance and finely tune your marketing message so that it meets your ideal customer’s needs and wants before she ever lands on your website or social media account.

To do that, you need to address these 5 key areas as they relate to the product or service you’re creating and the problem that it solves (and if your offering doesn’t solve a problem, keep working at it until it does).

Not all of these areas apply equally for every product or service, but all are worth considering, every time: 

1. FEARS: What is she afraid will happen if she doesn’t solve this problem?
2. FRUSTRATIONS: What frustrates her about this problem?
3. NIGHTMARES: What is the worst-case scenario she believes she’ll have on her hands if she doesn’t get this problem solved?
4. DESIRES: What would she really like to see happen in her life instead of having this problem?
5. DREAMS: What would be a ‘dream come true’ type of scenario for her instead of having this problem? (Think Cinderella or OMG-I-just-won-the-lottery! scenarioshere.)

Grab a pen and paper and go into detail with each of these areas (make a LONG list for each— try to come up with 25 if you can) so that you can be sure you understand the exact problem you’re solving for your prospective customer AND how to communicate it clearly to her.

And then, when you’re posting on social media, writing a blog post, creating a sales page, a video, a free download, or even crafting your offers themselves— use what you’ve come up with to make sure your messaging lines up in these areas.

You might wonder if it’s manipulative to craft marketing messages around your customer’s fears, frustrations, desires, and dreams.

But is it manipulative to help someone make a decision that will solve an important problem or fill a need for her?

(And NO- I’m not encouraging mindless consumerism. I know that YOU, dear reader, have something truly transformational to offer your customers, so I’m not worried you’ll take this message in that way.)

And here’s the truth. We LOVE to buy things that solve problems for us, or that bring us joy, or create more beauty and luxury in our lives.

And yet. . .

We also love to procrastinate and NOT solve our problems or treat ourselves to nice things.

(We humans are a strange species. Every last one of us. More on that in later posts.)

So as a marketer your charge is clear:

It’s your job to help them see that YOU have exactly what they need and want— and also see that they really ought to purchase it NOW so that they can get on with enjoying their lives.

It’s also your job not to deprive yourself of the profits that you totally deserve— and frankly, must make in order to stay in business (and thrive in business).

So if you want to create and keep a cadre of contented customers— while bringing in enough profit to continue creating great products and services— tailor your marketing to their wants and needs.

And if you want to be a smart customer yourself— don’t let yourself be talked into a sale by an aggressive marketer who doesn’t have your needs in mind!

Or just make sure you always shop at Nordstrom. :)

Bye for now, smart marketer!

My son and I always sit down together to read for awhile before his bedtime.

And tonight, before opening his book, he turned to me and said:

Mom, a lot of the time at school, the teachers will make jokes that aren’t funny, and it seems like everyone laughs just to be polite.

Now, I won’t pretend to understand what motivates the random musings of my 11 year-old boy…

(And by the way, he has his mother’s totally irreverent, sophomoric sense of humor— which is probably why he doesn’t like the ‘regular’ jokes they tell at school!)

But his comment made me think about how businesses communicate with their customers.

These days it’s mind-boggling how much content gets created regularly.

But how much of it is REALLY essential and aligned with business goals?

I’ve seen: 

• Blog posts that were probably only read by their author (and his dog)
• Facebook ads that are paying for nothing more than appetizers at the Zuck’s backyard wedding
• Sales pages that wouldn’t sell hand sanitizer to someone with OCD 

And of course, let’s face it: we ALL want people to ‘like’ and share what we’ve worked so hard to produce.

But all too often I see people creating random content that is incredibly easy to ‘like’ on Facebook, but just isn’t compelling.

(And by compelling I mean something that makes people think deeply AND take some sort of action that is aligned with a business’s overall goals.)

And then I see people wondering why, when they have something sell, no one’s buying. 

(Everyone LOVES my Facebook posts! What gives?)

The truth is, when it comes time for people to back up their ‘likes’ with their credit cards— ‘politeness’ has nothing to do with it.

No one HAS to buy what you have to sell. In fact, as a business owner it’s your job to help people understand why what you have to offer is so compelling, so mouthwateringly or heartwarmingly or businessgrowingly awesome that they can’t NOT buy it.

If that doesn’t happen— the credit card stays in the vault.

So I have a challenge for you.

The next time you’re creating content— whether in the form of a blog post, email, sales page, or any other method of communicating with your prospect or customer…

Ask yourself these three questions: 

1. Would I take the time to (read, watch, click on, buy, etc.) this if someone else had created it?
2. Does it offer something useful to my reader? (a great product, an actionable exercise, information she needs, etc.)
3. Have I given the reader a reason to DO something with it? (like it, share it, click here, buy now, etc.)

If you can’t answer ‘Yes’ to all three of these questions, think seriously before sending it off.

You have important work to do in the world. Like, REALLY big stuff.

Don’t waste any time working on getting a few polite ‘likes’ when you could be changing the world.

The year was 1980, and I was 10.

I’m not sure I knew what it meant to be a ‘better Christian’, particularly at that age.

All I knew was that I needed to be a better human being.

That I was broken.

(Or at least flawed.)

And possibly even in need of a major overhaul.

Over the years following that diary entry, I poured myself into pursuing the dream of perfection. I worked on enhancing my physical appearance, intellectual prowess, and emotional skills.

(I won’t say how successful I was at any of that.)

And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve, in itself.

The problem was. . . well, the problem was that I thought there was a problem.

I wasn’t just improving for the sake of progress. I was doing it with the agenda that I needed to ‘fix’ myself and my life.

Fast forward 32 years, as 2012 wound to a close.

I’d long since discovered that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I was as perfectly imperfect as any other creature on this planet.

And, as I sat down to write out my goals for the coming year, I couldn’t get excited about any of them.

What’s wrong with me? I wondered. There are lots of things I’d love to achieve in 2013. I love my work, I’m excited about my future, I have a lot of dreams to live out.

But the exercise of putting everything on the calendar left me flat.

Suddenly, I realized something important.

I was approaching goal-setting as a means to improve my present circumstances (my business and my life).

And the only reason I wasn’t happy with everything already, was because I was living somewhere other than the present moment.

And y'know. . . if we’re living somewhere other than the present moment, it doesn’t matter how our lives change; we’ll always be dissatisfied.

I realize my little Yoda moment isn’t anything ‘new’. Spiritual leaders, philosophers, and poets have been saying this for centuries. Eckhart Tolle and others have been saying it for at least a decade. Hell, I’ve been saying it for almost a decade myself.

But here’s where something really interesting happened.

Until that moment, I’d been having a difficult time reconciling my very human need to set goals and work toward achievements with a deep spiritual knowing that everything is just right exactly the way it is.

But as I sat there with my calendar, I realized that I didn’t need to choose between my goals and the present moment.

What I needed to do was let go of the self-improvement project.

I thought I had let go of ‘fixing’ myself years ago, but I realized I had simply replaced one set of objectives with another.

Let me explain.

Prior to starting my business and moving toward the work I’m now doing, I had been in a cul-de-sac of confusion for nearly two decades about ‘what to do with my life.’

Once I began engaging in work that truly fulfilled me, the behaviors I’d engaged in previously— compulsive shopping, looking for love in all the wrong places, striving to make more money in a career that didn’t fulfill me— fell by the wayside.

But what I didn’t realize was that I had simply replaced one set of unhealthy behaviors for another.

(Vulnerability alert!)

The truth was, I’d spent FAR too much time comparing myself to other entrepreneurs— big, small, and everywhere in between— and deciding on a regular basis whether I was better, worse, or the same.

WOW. What an utter waste of energy. All under the guise of ‘research’ and constantly improving my business practices, of course.

(Can you relate to this at all?)

I consider myself to be a pretty self-aware human being (and by saying that, I know I’m taking myself down a couple notches. . .).

And it’s easy for me to coach others out of the sand trap of comparison-itis.

But maaaan… I was stuck deep myself, and I needed a serious Physician, heal thyself moment.

So, I made a New Year’s Decision:

I’m done with the self-improvement project.

I’m done renovating the bedroom of my psyche or the living room of my business. The house (temple?) is perfect as-is.

This year, I’m practicing truly embracing my utter imperfection, in EVERY area of my life— including my business.

I’m done comparing myself to what others are doing. If I fall short, I fall short. Let them decide.

My business is to enjoy my life.

Joseph Campbell said to Follow your bliss. And I’ve realized my bliss lies in showing up. That’s it.

Showing. Up.

So that’s my big goal this year: Show Up.

And the craziest thing?

As soon as I made that decision, I breathed a sigh of relief, opened up my calendar, and began planning my year.

Not because I have to. Not because others are doing it, or because my clients and customers expect me to. Not because it will make me a better person to have a ‘more successful’ business.

I’ve planned out my year because it brings me immense, indescribable joy to help women spread their own entrepreneurial wings and enjoy the businesses and the lifestyles they so deserve.

Imagine that: choosing goals because they bring you joy (and transform others’ lives)!

It’s not too late for you to do the same, if you’ve been putting off setting your own 2013 goals.

Let go.

Show up.

Choose goals that bring you joy.

And let 2013 be your best year yet.