Cave of Wonders....

Masking reality

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:16:57 PST

(ok so the post started out whiny... I didn't want that. I had planned a funny post. You know how things are, one minute you have a good idea, then you watch something depressing on TV and your mood changes...somehow few paras before ending, I got back to the post I wanted to write in the first place. Sooo...just persevere and read ahead)

Everyone wears a mask. Admit it, everyone does...even you my precious readers.
I am not talking about the ones you get in shops, oh no no...this is a different kind of mask...it changes your persona completely.

For instance, lately when I go to college, I have a look of constant stress and tiredness. This isn't only during mondays nor is it only during nights where I am constantly awake. Assignment ideas keep hovering over my mind.
Or another mask, where I am talking with my family and friends and ramble endlessly having fun, cracking silly jokes.

See... the problem begins when you don't realize if you are concealing yourself behind a mask or not. Which one is real? Stressed or happy? Can't be both.

I am slowly sinking back into the pool of indifference. My work has reached a point where its no longer entertaining. It was bound to happen given all the dull projects I keep getting assigned.
Lets see...

Gotta make 3 flash games, even though the professor clearly said he won't teach everything and we should just get the source code from a tutorial or a file and modify the graphics.
Have to make a movie title sequence, which, once again..have to get tutorials or files and just modify for the same reasons.

Yet another character modeling for maya, so wonderful when nearly half the class does pathetic baby cartoon models while the other half "borrows" the models online and then work backwards, demodeling the final version so they can show the professor the "steps" they used to "create" the model from scratch. And that works.

I have no clue what's going on in programming, and I don't even care. It just isn't inspiring when your professor tells you how exciting programming is and how you can make so much money, when the professor himself, who works as a programmer, has to teach part time to earn cash.

And lastly, there is report writing. Quite frankly, the dullest lecture I can ever sit in. It outranks other subjects by dullness simply because we are not allowed to use our laptops in class. At least with our laptops I could ramble on facebook or look at tutorials and stuff.
I will say this...the one thing I like about report writing...it brings out the words I learned from GRE. I get so thrilled when the guy next to me asks, "hey, whats the meaning of authoritative"

Its a confidence booster knowing that you are surrounded by morons. Of course, the confidence is short lived because you suddenly realize, that you are surrounded by morons.

I mean come on...take a fricking clue.. authoritative... what does it sound like? Something related to authority perhaps? And what is authority? Honestly if you don't know that much then I would be very surprised how that guy managed to come so far.

...

God that gave me a headache again.

My mind is currently annoyed. It is throwing tantrums like you won't believe. It wants some excitement. For godsakes, give me a challenge at least. I hate doing assignments which I can simply rip off from the internet and modify them and submit. Yea yea I know what you are saying, "then why do it?". Simple answer...because I can...because it makes no difference at all...because it works...

Frankly, the last thing I remember doing on my own was...ages ago. And I mean completely on my own. From scratch. No tutorials, no external codes...nothing. Just a blank document which I filled up with beautiful typography.

Rest of the times...bah. Take a couple of pictures, cut them out like a collage, grab the flash code given by the professor, modify it and viola, linkin park cd application. Oh oh...take a couple of cartoons of Indian gods, take the same code from the previous project, modify it a bit. Add indian colors, intricate backgrounds, viola, interactive website on Indian gods.

I will try to upload them soon... I definitely want to show them here. Specially the indian one. Its hilarious. I just have to change my blog template for that. Size won't fit here.

I took a break from college today. Bunked it. The repercussions will be awful but was it worth it?
Welll...I bunked because I have to make a presentation tomorrow on a topic, "what efforts were taken by the singapore government to solve the declining fertility rate in the country". That's not all. My "reliable" hard drive crashed, and along with it, went 200 gb worth of movies, 90 gb worth of college related files, 10gb of music, and 20gb of miscellaneous things that I can't even recall. Also, I found these great links which have readymade aftereffects files... some are just random effects, some are stock video clips, and some are...*evil laugh* complete title intros.

So I took a break. What did it accomplish? Well... since my hard drive refuses to get recognized and every time I plug it in all it asks is if I want to format, I downloaded a data recovery software and spent the last 20 hours trying to salvage my info, 20 and counting...
So far I have gotten back around...40gb worth of college files. This is painfully slow.

Downloaded lots of aftereffects files, but haven't yet checked to see if they are working or not.

And far as my presentation is concerned...well here I am sitting in my room for the past 20 hours and I am still stuck on the first line. "population growth is a worldwide crisis"
The fact that I am beginning to enjoy Desperate Housewives is nerve wracking.

See I have a solution to my problems, a simple way to make it crystal clear that the mask I wear shows stress and the happiness I show is real. I need a girl.
Oh not just any girl.
I need my girl.

The girl who would ruffle my hair when I am just sitting on my bed, or who would argue with me and tell me to work, and when I reply with a whiny "I don't wanna" she would pull my ear hard and say in a stern tone, "you better"
See I know I have to work. It just makes it easier when there is a purpose. Getting good grades, avoiding the chance of failing...pfft... not purposeful enough. But a girl says "you do it because I tell you to"...seems to have so much more meaning.

My little man brain says, "Oh..she wants me to do it. I better do it or I will upset her. And if I upset her I don't get to play. And I like to play. Every man on the planet likes to play."

See man brains are different from woman brains. They really are.
I'll give you an example.

Lets say its a beautiful warm sunny day. A woman will go out all happy and cheery and when she meets someone, she will say, "Its a nice day, isn't it?" See. That's how women are. They will frame the sentence in a way that the other person responds and then she says something and they continue chatting. Women love to chat.

Same scenario for a guy...he will say, "its a nice day". Period. That's it. He knows its a nice day, thus he says it matter-of-factly.

Men are more informative. All our conversations are usually informative. This is how guys talk...
"How does that girl look?"
"Oh she looks hot."
" What about that girl?"
"Oh her...she's nice."
" Isn't this class the worst?"
" Oh yea, definitely. Horrible. Flies are more interesting than this class"
" What are we having for lunch?"
" Sandwiches I guess"
" Lets go for burgers"
" Yea sure, thats cool too"

See, there is no major 'emotional' attachment. Its plainly informative. We just do the absolute minimum that is required. We don't even think. You see random guys sitting quietly on a bench in the park. Women think they are thinking something, we aren't. We are just sitting in the park, looking at stuff, probably looking at women. If a woman walks by, that will stir up some brain cells and we will pop out a thought or two, mostly evaluating her looks and checking our ego to see if we can get a woman like her or not.
We have the wonderful ability to go without thinking for extended periods of time. I once sat in my chair in the balcony, and thought nothing for 20 minutes until a bird flew into the neighbor's antenna....then I quickly rushed to get my camera but I was too late.

Basically, when women ask, what are you thinking...it sends our poor brains into a frenzy. We were just lying on the sofa comfortably watching the fish swimming in the little fishbowl. Suddenly we have to activate all our braincells and figure out an answer that will satisfy you. An experienced man will tell you that whatever answer you pick, make sure its related to something pleasant about her. Because eventually, women just want to know that you were thinking of her.

Honestly though girls, when we think of you, we tell you. We will call you up, chat with you as much as we can, hold you, kiss your cheek...you know where I am going with this.

Men are informative, its how we are and how we will always be.

Women aren't. Women are emotional. Women use and study body posture. They look at the facial expressions and listen to the tone of the voice. That's why they usually know when men are lying. Men listen to content. Women, tone. Remember this when the next time you couples out there fight. The poor man is waiting for you to tell him what's wrong, while the woman is sobbing uncontrollably and yelling that why can't he figure out for himself.
Our poor brains aren't programmed for that. We can't figure out the problem from the tone of your voice or from your body language. We are waiting for you to tell us what we did so we can fix it.

We aren't being insensitive. We just need to be told. Its how life is supposed to be.
They just have to compromise eventually. A woman has to understand that things have to be spelled out for her man most of the time, and the man has to learn to listen to the tone she speaks in to find some hidden emotion. Considering the hundreds of emotions that she has, at least learn to identify 10 of them.

So in a nutshell...life would be a lot easier if I had a girl I can pamper...a girl who would just tell me what to do so it makes sense to do it... a girl who would listen to me whine about the projects, knowing that most of the times I am not looking for help...I just want to let the whining out so I can start thinking. See that's another thing...our memory storage capacity isn't too much. We basically store stuff for a while and the shift it to an external storage and give it to you. So when you remember a "special" day that we forgot...its only because you have that memory and we are waiting for you to give it to us.

Again, like I said...compromise... man will remember the birthday, and two anniversaries...pick any two. Marriage, first kiss, first time in bed, first time you fed each other, first time you danced...the list goes on and on and on. There are many many anniversaries.
We will remember the top three. If you want gifts and to have a special moment on other anniversaries, inform the man at least three days in advance. Just because the poor guy forgot the date doesn't mean he forgot the moment.

Ooook...I am tired of this now. Its high time I start on my report. I really don't want to...but it seems I don't have a choice. Not because a girl told me to...but because I will fail if I don't...and while that isn't really important... the $1000 fee for retaking a subject does matter a lot.

Just have to bear it out. November has already started. Just 44 days more till this semester ends...and finally I will have some peace. And after that, ha ha...no college. Internship...finally some excitement.

But for now, I am going to put my "stressed" mask on and get back to work.

Wednesday Morning Disaster

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:31:31 PDT

Spent last night staying up and preparing a research proposal for a report that I will debate upon for the next two months.
As a result I tired to the point where the blinking of my eyes pauses for around 20-30 seconds.
I do have the presentation prepared however I have no clue on what to speak about...so am continuously repeating my speech in my head, over and over and over and over because I know I have to somehow stretch 5 slides worth of information to at least 7 minutes.

Finally I decide to come to college and open the door to my class room only to realize its empty. Oh no no, class isn't canceled...no one has showed up just yet. Crosschecked the time to see if I am just half our early or an hour and half early. Nope, just 25 minutes left for class to begin.

Two students appear, two hot girls. Thats odd. There are no hot girls in my batch, nor in the VC (visual comm) batch for that matter.
Then the professor comes in, looks at me in a weird way, asks me if I am in the right class. I say yea, this is ARCS right?
His response?

No kid, this is Fashion Design. ARCS is at 2 pm.

STUPID BLOODY @#$@#!% TIME TABLE.

So I got up to leave, and just before exiting I let out a sigh and told him that I don't have a team for this subject and he replied by saying not to worry and he will "put" me in a team. Great. Fantastic. Why can't I do it alone...why why why.

I spent hours on researching this topic, its a nice topic... it shows that the "proud" singapore government which allegedly "mocks" our country for being so chaotic, is nothing more than an authoritarian bully. Now I have to "discuss" between me and my 'yet-to-be-named' teammate about whether to pick the beautiful controversial topic which is, in general, not allowed to be spoken of, or pick whatever mindless dull droning topic that he or she picked out.

No there is very little chance of there being a topic more interesting than this.

I have chosen censorship in singapore. Apparently, the press here is ruled with an iron fist. Those who speak or question the government are fined, jailed without trial or worse. And you know me...I love speaking things that are "forbidden".
You all know the forbidden topics in our societies.

And quite frankly, the only...ONLY things that can top this is,
legalization of same sex marriages,
creationism vs evolution : the never ending debate between god and darwin, or
Racism in singapore. Its not as harmonious as people think.

The reason why I didn't pick these is because...
first one has been done to death, there is info everywhere about this. Though it does have that one crippling point that I am fascinated with. The singapore penal code is a mirror of the Indian code, and while India legalized same sex marriages, singapore hasn't. In fact there is an added line which specifically targets gays. Sooo mucn fun when a "chaotic" country like india one-ups singapore.

Second one, you can go back in my archives and read all the posts I have talked about this "god". I have received hate mail, gotten critiques for being insensitive and blah blah...whatever. I don't believe in religion. Plain and simple. So this topic will be biased for me. Darwin rules!

Racism, its a little risky here. Also there might be some bias considering that technically the majority of people who claim singapore isn't racist are usually chinese singaporeans. Ask the indians and the malays here and most of the middle class play a different tune.

I can't think of anything more worthwhile than these topics. It will be a miracle if someone can come up with something more interesting than this. Mind you, I am restricting the topic area to Singapore. Its such a pussified country. Nothing exciting happens here. No controversies, no debates...yea yea its peaceful, bloody annoying. Have some conflicts so we can debate a little.

That could be a topic... the pussification of singapore by its authoritarian government, which technically is too general and when you narrow the topic down, one of its branches come to...censorship.

10.30 am, sitting outside the class, in the hallway leading to the teacher's staffroom. Wish this class was on the usual second floor...they have a sofa there. And a vending machine. I am tired and hungry. Too hungry to sleep peacefully, too tired to go down and buy something.

Wednesday, great damn day.

Teamwork sucks

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 06:49:42 PDT

It really isn't for everybody. Colleges should stop promoting it now, its damn irritating. My first year was fantastic. Lovely projects, all solo assignments... my creativity was overflowing.
Ever since the second year I have been having a horrid dry spell.

Why teamwork sucks?

1. Credit is shared by the team. So basically, 'my' idea becomes 'our' idea, 'my' posters become 'our' posters, and 'my' grades become 'our' grades.

2. When you work alone, and you screw up, you have yourself to blame...but when you are working in the team, it's always the other person's fault....Always. Na...tut tut..no arguing with me...its ALWAYS their fault.

3. For a team to function properly, you need good teammates. That doesn't work when the members can't either speak properly, or are too lazy or too stupid or just plain 'shut-up-or-I-will-smash-you-with-your-laptop' annoying.

4. Specifically for me, teamwork will suck because I have this particular frame of mind...I am right. Whatever the argument may be, I am right. Its not an ego issue. Simply because I cared enough to argue means I know what I am talking about. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered responding in the first place. I am not always right of course, say for instance, if a professor asks me to do something in a specific way, but I take a different approach...he could tell me I was wrong and I will accept it as long has he gives a valid reason.
So basically, in teamwork, when I pick the topic, I am justified in choosing it because that is either a 'hot' topic, or an 'interesting' topic or something the audience will connect to. Quite simply put, if I say XYZ is our topic...thats it. End of discussion.
But to be fair I do give everyone a chance to give out their ideas too. One chance to entice my mind to whatever issue they may have chosen. My mind has rarely switched over to other people's topics.

5. Similar to the 'I am right' issue, there is also the 'I am good' issue. Again, not an ego thing, this simply means, "Look at my work, that's pretty good." At this point, criticism isn't allowed, by anyone, even the professor. Once more for clarification, this isn't an ego driven statement. Do you know how much I criticize and dislike my own work. Nearly every piece of my submission is dissected into various points, and each point getting more vague than the next...
I don't like the font type, its too small and irregular.
The background image could use some more post processing.
This color sucks
This design sucks
I need some "oomph" in this design.

All in all, I always come up with something that meets or exceeds the professor's expectations...but never mine. So in the rare event that the latter does ring true, I do stand up proudly and tell the world, "wow..I am good".

In general, people should figure out by now, that when I actually bother giving a crap about something, I know what I am talking about.
Why have you never seen me talk about America's war with Iraq or Obama being president or the Great Recession all around the globe? Simple...I don't care. It doesn't interest me, and as such I have no clue about what's going on, which is just how I prefer it.
I still hear people trying to lure me into discussing the financial collapse. Pfft...
checklist.
1. Do I have food on my table? Yes.
2. Do I have clothes? Yes
3. Do I have a bed to sleep in? Yes.
4. Do I have a good bathroom? Yes
All right then, not interested in the global financial problems. Watching the white tiger at the zoo for 4 hours is much more stimulating than listening to the global news. Going to the library and once again scanning the entire arts and film section in hopes of seeing a new book is more interesting...cataloging all my pictures into various categories is more interesting.. you get my point?

I thought of one more :P
"Hours of pondering whether to have tomato soup or sweet corn soup is more interesting than listening to global issues"

For those who are wondering, yes I am a misanthrope. Not a cynic, a Misanthrope. There is a difference. Cynics hate everyone. Misanthropes will care if they like the person. They hate everyone in general except for the people they will choose to hang out with.

Ooook, topic deviated again...I should write more often, seeing four topics in my head that kinda clashed together over here.
Back to the teamwork issue.
Luckily this semester almost all subjects have solo final projects. Unluckily, ALMOST all subjects solo final projects.

There is this academic research nonsense that needs to be done in a team. Never mind that the brief itself didn't make sense when it stated that reports will be handed and graded out individually, which basically means that you just sit together, "share information and sources" together, write your own report and get different grades. Uhhh...quick question, how does this promote teamwork, when its painfully obvious that anyone with even half a brain isn't going to reveal the right sources to his so called 'teammate' in hopes that its the perfect article for adding the 'oomph' to his own report?
Maybe I am the only one who thinks this way... could be possible I guess. Could be the reason why I have been singled out and have no one to work with, which is going to cause a lot of headache tomorrow...I have already packed 4 crocins in my bag.

But honestly, do you really think "working together" is going to solve the problem? Well then go ahead, but eventually there will come a point when your partner will think, "ahh...the perfect info, I must not reveal, this will gain me more credit". If he doesn't, then it doesn't make him a 'nice person'...no...it makes him a moron and he should be plucked out from the gene pool.

Wake up and smell the coffee, its a competitive world. Unless your partner is biologically related to you, if there is a chance to get a better edge, you do it, or else they will. Everyone craves recognition. Even the most solitary loners wouldn't mind a little recognition.

Sigh... its painful to even think of going up to a professor and basically telling him, "I don't have a team, no one is picking me" and it will be damn near humiliating if he picks a team for me.
Am hoping I can convince him that I can do this subject on my own, though its probably not going to work. Still, I have a reasonably great controversial topic which I won't reveal here... lets just say in the end I plan to explain to my audience as to how Singapore is fooling the public into thinking this is a 'free' country.

I was always attracted towards speaking on topics that are forbidden to be spoken of.

And now we come to an abrupt end, because I am tired of whining endlessly about this. I have to begin my report proposal

Tsunami in my head

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 09:51:29 PDT

I was on vacation for the past two weeks. Went to India, still there actually. My vacation ends tomorrow.

A lot of things have been discovered in this trip. It was a very enlightening experience in one way, though I would also consider it a major disaster at the same time.

When I left, I was upset with an issue, which caused me to remain in a mopey state of mind right until the stewardess brought me some bloody mary. God help me I love a bloody mary on an airplane.
Things were finally looking up until the plane landed.

I didn't mind the almost 20 minute walk of that horribly long corridor from the plane to the baggage area. I was amused how the doctors checked for the H1N1 here, by asking me if I have fever and dismissing me the minute I said no. Wow, what a complicated medical check-up. I bet we can train a two year old to do this check up too because hey, it still won't solve the problem of infesting our 'already infested' country with yet another disease, but at least with a baby giving you a medical check up you will have a good laugh.

What did piss me off was when I had to open my bags and answer a bunch of stupid questions because I had a DSLR and a videocamera on me. Apparently I am not allowed to carry more than 25000 rupees worth of stuff.
Hello?
Newsflash.

The jeans I wear, combined with the shirt, the shoes, the two rings on my fingers, the mp3 player in my pocket, and my cellphone...that itself is around 50k. Give me a break you pansy ass waste of flesh. Just because your monthly salary is equivalent to the price of my sunglasses doesn't mean you take out your hatred for your pitiful existence on me.

Regardless, they understood finally that I am too pissed and let me go. Though the damage was already done and my brain immediately listed out the points of why I detest this place.
People were first on my list.

Yea I know most of you are glaring at me when I say I hate this country, but no..no I don't. That's what I am trying to tell everyone. I don't hate this country, in fact, I love it. I adore it and still consider it a beautiful place to live in if all the people you see on the streets disappear.
I mean, when I heard that some marathi people sparked a big ruckus over not calling mumbai as Bombay... good god, these people should be found immediately, and not kept in jail..oh no no..that's too easy. They should be shot in the head as soon as they are spotted, and one bullet to the heart too just to err on the side of caution.

Jeez people, it is not a sin to call mumbai as bombay now and then. It is not shameful. We have been calling it bombay for decades, do you mean to tell me all those years are considered as shameful?
Its not like I hate marathi people...I actually "nothing" them, but I get a little peeved when they do something like "open their mouth and talk gibberish"

For godsakes, does it occur to you people that nearly half the people abroad don't know "mumbai". Hell, every time some cab driver in singapore asks me where I am from and I say mumbai he usually goes "huh?" and then I have to say bombay and he goes, "oh Bombay, lovely place"

Bombay, mumbai, madras, chennai, bangalore, bengalurugoogoowhatever...its the same damn thing. All the same damn thing.

Btw, the cynic in me came out in this trip and along with it, a torrent of sarcasm and sadism. I did realize however that I am a cynic. Actually to be specific I am a misanthrope. I looked it up. A misanthrope is one who generally hates people but still likes some folk from the human race. He hates the concept of "order and society" and this "human nature" of how certain things we have to abide and how we have to treat people in a specific way etc when its all bullshit considering the people who enforce these rules are gangbanging you out of your money and freedom. Still, a misanthrope can love, he can have friends, he can be your best bud.

Anyway, what the hell is going on with these sky walk thingies going around everywhere. It is a good idea, but they are overdoing it a bit. Too many in my opinion. Sure, majority of the people are poor enough to not afford cars, and I understand that. Plus its also a good way to stay healthy...but hey...that doesn't mean you take up the road that's meant for driving cars at vroom vroom speed.

On the positive note, food is good...as always. That statement is further reinforced by the extra 7 kilos that's registering on my weighing scale.
Yea, my weighing scale just started spinning like crazy when I stepped on it, and the pointer stopped on "GET OFF OF ME. TOO HEAVY TOO HEAVY!"

It probably would have helped my self esteem a little bit if I hadn't been munching on a muffin at the time I was weighing myself. Well, I pretty much assumed that the muffin was the heavier one. Still...scales have tipped to the point where I really have to be cautious....which kinda sucks.

College started last monday, and this is one of those moments when I wished I didn't take the "extended" vacation.
So, instead of waiting till next week to rant about this, lets just do it now..get it over with.

I have maya again...an animation this time, a 30 second clip. That's just...crazy talk. We haven't even taught rigging. It takes us ages to model our character and texture it. To rig it correctly, animate it...and use it in some story...which means there should be some background too...jeez. Thats just plain fricking nuts. Plus the professor is some canadian guy who, from what I have heard so far, is a pain in the ass.

Flash, this time have to make a game. That's what I am assuming. Don't have much more information than that so can't rant about it. Lucky readers.
Same goes for ARCS. I still don't know what's the full form for that, and I don't really care. Some report writing event hosting stuff I guess.

Programming. Yet another e-commerce website in PHP. But you know something. I am not afraid here. Because, I am going to break my head making a beautiful design, making a rough framework of the code...and then paying my junior to make the damn code work. Oh yeah.
...
the guy has done a bachelor's in IT. He loves this stuff. I am doing him a favor. Don't judge me. PHP is never going to have importance in my life.

And last but not least, video. Have to make a surreal experimental video this time, with hopefully a theme of my choosing but that's just too much wishful thinking.

All in all, 5 subjects.

I wonder which is the lesser of two evils here... to stay back here in the comfort of my home and whine about the people over and over...or to go there and challenge myself yet again to not get stressed enough that I start growing gray hairs.

One plus point though, I got a new laptop, after its own fair share of screwups. Regardless, this laptop is pretty ok, I can use it as a work laptop while I keep my old one strictly for downloads, chatting online, blogging, watching movies, listening to music, reading naughty comic books...oh yes, naughty comic books, they are hilarious and they turn me on at the same time...I have stopped getting paranoid of getting turned on by a cartoon.

Another plus point, well I guess it could be a plus or a minus depending on how you view it. I started having this inner monologue going in my head now and I can't seem to stop it. It just happens, like right now, I am feeling a little hot. I can actually hear my own voice in my head saying, "mmhmm, I am feeling a little hot. I wonder if I should get up and switch the fan on, or do the easier thing and shed my clothes off"
And of course this monologue is backed up with visuals too.
Its as if I drift off to an alternate reality where I shed my clothes off and stand in a superman pose and giving a nice colgate smile, and then I snap back to our reality.

It bothered me the first two or three days but then I sort of got used to it and eventually began to enjoy it. Specially because I started chopping people's heads with chainsaws, or making them stand at one spot near a tree and then speedily chopping the tree in a way that it falls on them.
The first of these visions happened when I was stuck in traffic... I just got out of my car, went ahead near the bumper of the car in front of me, cupped my hands together and as I did that there was lightning and thunder in the sky as I slowly started to glow and everything got silent and my words echoed with crystal clarity, "kaaaameeeehaaameeeehaaaaaaaa!"

And with that I shoved my palms forward, still cupped together, and a wave of plasma energy burst out vaporizing the car in front of me and the fifty others in that line, thus clearing the entire road.

I really enjoyed that.

I can't wait to go back to college. There is definitely going to be a moment where I turn into a hulk and pound someone to the ground. Ah, fantasies.

Btw, for those who didn't realize...that scream was from Dragonball Z...you should really watch some TV.

Finally, I have to leave tomorrow night. Yesterday I felt sad. Very upset. I spent the entire night looking at pictures of me with my family, right from babyhood to childhood to teenhood to adulthood.
I realized a lot of things. I love my family, and no matter what I do, parents will always make you feel a little guilty if you have been rude to them or mean to them. They won't say a word, and eventually their love for you will make you feel extremely guilty. I guess that's one of the perks of being a parent. Mm.

Also, I look horrible as a teen... my god, that is a horrible looking hairstyle. It looks soooo...neat. You can't have neat hair. Neat hair is extremely nerdlike. You just HAVE to have a little messy hair. What was I thinking.
And thank the lords I have a mustache, because I would never be taken seriously if I didn't. I look like one of the guys whom you can easily take advantage on. I can't make an angry stern face with no mustache, it would look funny rather than scary.

Jeez.

On a side note, I had 16 gulab jamuns. In my defense, they were very small and I don't get them in Singapore...well they don't taste the same there.

There is one last thing I wanted to discuss...something personal. But I am still in perpetual doubt over this issue...this one issue that has been nagging me ever since I left, and it can't be discussed here in detail as of yet.
All I can reveal is, so far I have gotten everything I ever wanted.
My parents gave everything to me, and in the certain cases they wouldn't, I cribbed and got up and got it myself. Either way, I have gotten everything, either from someone else or getting it myself.
So what do I do when I want something that my parents can't give and something that I tried my level best to get but still...still didn't receive it. How long will I keep trying before I am doomed to accept the fact that "you just can't get everything you want"

Yea, it had to end on this miserable note because all the frustration you saw was planned days ago, all the nice stuff you read was planned hours ago, and the tinge of sadness came minutes ago when a certain song came up on my playlist.

I just have one thing left to say... I came here for two weeks. I hated some days, I loved some days. And now, when the time is coming to go back...I can honestly say I wish I had more time here. Just a little bit more time. There is a couple of unfinished business that I wanted to deal with.
More importantly, there is a person I wanted to see, but didn't. The timings never matched and now I am not sure when I will get a chance to meet again. Next semester will be internship, so I will probably not be coming next vacation on account of running around for interviews.

The final conclusion is this... I came here upset, and I am leaving from here upset, of course, upset with 7 kilos added to my waistline but nonetheless...upset.

...
I completely forgot about the baby fantasies...oh well, a tale for another day.
Goodnight all.

Next post will be when I am back in Singapore.

Going back home

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:42:03 PDT

College submissions done, with great difficulty. Bags are almost packed, just some last minute shopping to be done.
Am almost ready for my vacation. Though I shall be staying in India for around 15 days, its not really much of a vacation for me this time.

I have the next semester's time table, and if I thought this sem was a pain, the next one is going to give me a stroke.
Five subjects... all with gigantic projects, all mostly teamwork(damnit!) related, and every single one of them uninteresting.

Got to make an experimental video, hopefully don't have to make a 30 second animation in maya and just stick to more character modeling or maybe just doing some walk cycle kinda stuff, programming is back to inflict pain on my brain with E-commerce applications...probably have to design a fully functional e-commerce website, am assuming I have to make a game in flash or something similar to that in the difficulty level and lastly...some crap subject called ARCS. Do not ask for its full form, I don't know it. All I know is its combined with product design students and fashion marketing students and its related to some communication crap so I am assuming its going to be an event hosting nonsense.

Soooo this vacation I am planning to finish the experimental video at home, and gathering flash source files and php codes so flash and programming doesn't give me too much pain.

All in all, my vacation will last till maybe this weekend. Tomorrow I leave, I reach, and by monday I start with the college stuff again. Some vacation. Pah!

On the bright side, I get to eat my vada pav, my dosa with the proper sambhar, soft soft paneer, bhel the way its supposed to be made, have already told to keep chole puri ready when I arrive....I reach at 10am...by 11 I will be home..just in time for lunch.

For now I am bored. I have to meet a friend in the evening sooo I have to just wait here for another hour before I can go shop and meet him directly. Don't wanna go out twice. When I come back its going to be torture. All my fun stuff is packed. I have nothing except this shitty laptop which I am definitely tossing away once I reach home.

11 times....the damn thing had to be formatted 11 times in the past month. See its easy for most of you people...you can't really complain a lot. Formatting takes around..maybe 10 minutes max.
Windows installation takes around 20-30 minutes...and the rest is easy for you guys...install office and whatever mp3/video software you use.

But see, I have to install adobe...thats another 30 minutes...then there is maya...there is zbrush...lightroom...mentalray...after that, custom brushes for photoshop, codecs...
In a nutshell, it takes around 4-5 hours minimum to get my laptop fully functional again...and it just pisses me off.

Soooo, I have my eyes set on a new Dell...currently I have a Dell vostro. I really want the Dell Alienware. That is like, the best laptop I have seen yet. I would worship that laptop. I would get up every morning and bring an aarti and that little bell thing and move the plate in a clockwise motion a few times chanting "Bless me alienware bless me bless me oh holy alienware"
Yea...however, spending 2lakhs on a laptop which will be useless in less than two years...naaa.
I am thinking of a Dell studio XPS...that's Dell studio XPS...not Dell studio...Dell studio XPS. There is a difference. I am tired of clarifying this to everyone. It seems good enough. 4 gig ram 500 gb hard drive and a nvidia graphic card that can pack quite a punch.

For those who have reached this part, I hope you know that I am just bored and babbling random useless stuff that normally no one would be interested in to read. Basically I am just waiting for 10 more minutes before I go shower and leave.

Anyway, I am thinking of reading a book today. Haven't done that in a while you know. I have this book called "the contest" by matthew reilly. Its an old book, but its the last one from that author that I haven't read yet. You may know him as the author of the seven ancient wonders and six sacred stones.
If you don't, then I suggest you go and buy those books. They are action packed so women, steer away unless you like reading something that looks like a combination of indiana jones and Davinci code. Guys...go for it.

I have been locking up my "valuable" stuff since last night.. lets take a look at my inventory.

First, all my colognes...I have four. Then my sunscreen lotion and my shampoo and also my soaps. That's the end of the bathroom products. After that I locked my comforter, I can't stand the idea of someone using my comforter. Then came the usual nuances, the binoculars, the random USB drives lying around, a box of loose change...I am collecting 5 cent coins...I have around 4 dollars worth. I need the box to be full because I wanna try a stop motion animation with it. The external hard drives were locked up.

My helicopter was neatly packed in its box and locked away...I don't want some random kid coming here and flying my helicopter and getting it stuck on a tree. CD cases, sunglasses, electric razor, my tv remote control, kitchen utensils...thats all for now.

I do this because my room here is probably going to be given for a temporary rental to some idiot for the period I am gone. These landlords are so fricking greedy.
The first thing I usually do when I come back is throw the bedsheet in the laundry, no telling what dirty things were done on my bedsheet. Even my towel goes to the laundry, along with my napkins. I know he can't watch TV because I have hidden the remote...and this crappy box needs the remote to change channels. Actually, I rather just put the plug in. That makes more sense.

Lastly,
I have to dress up nice before I leave. There is a reason why I like to look my best at the airport, when I go and when I reach too.
First, if you look good, and there is a female sitting at the ticket counter, she usually allows the "extra" weight in the bag.
Secondly, and this is most important for me...you know how lots of people look like crap after a long flight. This flight is early morning, most of the folks are going to be asleep. They are going to look horrible when they get off the plane. But not me. Sure my hair would normally be a mess just like the rest of the passengers, but I have a trick.

I use gel on my hair, and this gel works twice. FIrst when I gel, I obviously style the hair and go to the airport looking all nice. Gel obviously dries up slowly, though my hair doesn't get hard or anything.
All I have to do is add some water and viola, its as if I applied gel again. So, just some tissue paper to clean the face, a little water and I get my styled hair back, and I look fabulous when I get off. The envy of all other passengers.

Well I think of such things.
Anyway, my time is up here. I gotta go get ready and buy some shampoos to get home, along with a funky looking wind chime I saw, and ...I guess that's it.

If you reached this point, I salute you for actually reading this entire post. Either you managed to find something interesting in this write up or you are more bored than I am and just wanted to pass your time...either way, see you soon.

7 days

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:25:48 PDT

No, I am not referring to the movie "The Ring". I didn't watch any tape that would end with me getting a phone call saying I will die in 7 days.

Though, I may die from exhaustion :P

I have been ranting and raving about my work for quite a while and now its time to show you all the results...some of the results at least.

First up, the character turntable.
This entire thing is done for my advanced maya class. We had to create a character and texture it.

The entire process from modeling to detailing to texturing took around 8 weeks(3-4days a week working on it). Technically it would have finished much sooner if I hadn't watched episodes of Boston Legal side by side. Can't help it, I just got season 3.

Anyway,
Modeling done in Maya, and then exported to Zbrush for detailing and texturing.
Final submission was this turn table of the character(which I still have to submit actually)
Next semester we are going to be introduced to rigging. Seems like fun. Have been given a choice of whether we want to do advanced modeling, character animation or short film.

A short film would be lovely, but I do have other subjects too. Next semester I have to make a game in flash and yet another 15 minute movie with the theme still undisclosed. Making a short film in maya at that point will make me suicidal.
Character animation seems like a nicer choice, but I am mostly thinking of sticking to advanced modeling. The thing is, I am doing multimedia design, majoring in it. Doing animation is fun on the side, but realistically speaking, if I want to make really cool 3d posters and advertisements, maya modeling is more important...sooo I guess I will be going for advanced modeling next sem.

Ahem,
Next up... and this is my favorite.

Oh yea. First attempt at Kinetic Typography. Messed up the camera rhythm a little midway, but overall I still find it a reasonably good attempt considering a novice.

The song I chose was Linkin Park's "Bleed it out". Done in After Effects. This was supposedly the intro for my CD interface. But its way too long so I am just gonna use it in the Videos section.

Thats it for now.
I have 7 days left to complete two interfaces, do a walk cycle in maya, and complete the production for my documentary. After that its 2 weeks of relaxation and then it all gets repeated again.
Such is life.

For those who are having problems with the video, you can check them out on my facebook...
Link

Edit: Its 4am right now. Why am I awake at this ungodly hour? Well apparently I was surfing youtube and I came across a wrestling video. One link led to another and now I am once again hooked on WWE. Ah the thrill of seeing Triple H smack some newbie with the chair, the excitement when Shawn Michaels superkicks the jaw of another newbie, the welcomed goosebumps of that ominous bell followed by darkness signaling the arrival of the Undertaker.
:)
Oh WWE, I have missed you soooo much.
This was the video that I saw first...from here on I just kept clicking on the related videos.

That has to be one of Undertaker's most fantastic entries, excluding Wrestlemania ones of course.

A silver lining

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:01:35 PDT

Finally some good news.

Now, play along like you know what I am talking about ok?
My kinetic typography is coming along nicely, should be done by wednesday hopefully. Along with that, I tinkered around a little in Flash and managed to make my actionscript work without any errors. Took a while to understand but I got the damn code to work for me nicely.

Turns out that I knew the code all along actually. My mind has just assumed that it won't work when I try it.
And well, technically that's true. Everything does work, but as it turns out certain stuff needs to be edited for a much smoother transition. To top it off, now that its actually functioning without errors, I have to redo some of my layouts because...well, if this is working, then surely I can add more details...they require the same code after all.

In a nutshell, all is going good.

Just have one problem... I have to actually sit and start with the final design now.

So basically I need a biography of krishna shiva and kali, and written in a way that you would explain to kids. Also, I need a name of some design company in India that has "commissioned" me to "design" this "website" for them, and their target audience is "kids" therefore I have to keep the graphics and storylines all simple and kid-friendly... at least, that's what I will tell my prof so he doesn't give me any flak of the design being too...kiddish.

He told me that last week. I replied that its SUPPOSED to be kiddish. This week(tomorrow) I will re-emphasize that fact by saying that I have been commissioned to do this. Imagine how proud he will be that one of his "dear student" is selling his website for an amount of dollars which I have yet to decide.

...
What? Its not immoral. Its playing smart. Everyone wins. Professor is happy because his student is prospering nicely. Student is happy in keeping his simple design which is pretty good to begin with and doesn't want to change it just at the professor's stupid whim of it being "too simple".
Apparently the idiot has never heard of "minimalism"

It is soooo nice that I can substitute "laziness" for "minimalism" now :)

Thankfully, in the next design, CD interface, am keeping things a bit more complicated, at least in the eyes of the professor. What he doesn't realize is, the designs are the same. Its absolutely the same layout, with the codes tweaked a little. He just thinks its more detailed because I added these funky grunge textures and various little tidbits to make my own collage...camouflaging it to look more detailed.

I like to simplify things. Why complicate stuff unnecessarily when you have zero interest in what you are doing.

Well technically, I am complicating it a little by adding that kinetic typography video as an intro page, but see... that's fun. It has an "oooo" factor to it.
There is no "ooo" factor in making websites or CD interfaces. Its dull and boring.

Its like I said before..much much earlier... when I had to learn HTML to "Create a website"
Now, I know HTML enough to edit websites.Give me a nice clean layout and I will tinker around with it to modify my design.

In other news...I found this out a few seconds ago.
Apparently, the maya character I am making doesn't have to move. We were going to do a walk cycle but the prof has canceled it. So now we just have to texture it and submit.
See, my problem is... I thought we had to submit the textured version today. So I did it, technically. Turns out, no one else has done it.

Sooo, now when I open my maya file, I have to revert it to the previous untextured version so I don't look like a guy who has no life(thus giving him time to finish his work). Also, I don't want to risk the idea of my prof seeing my textured thing and telling me, "ok, since you are done here, why don't you do the walk cycle"

I booked my ticket on the 25th. Sigh...too impatient with the booking. I could have come earlier. Trying to confirm with my professors if I can submit my work early. And also hoping I can cancel the current ticket and get a new one, with either none or minimal penalty.

hmm... I don't have to make a walk cycle.....Things just got very interesting indeed.

You know something that I have realized over this one year in this field. I like working under pressure... I like working ONLY under pressure. That's probably why I keep delaying my work until the last minute, when I have no choice but to finish.

Bearing that in mind, I shall now continue my work... after I finish googling some stuff.

Sigh... two hours from now, I have to sit through a mind-numbing lecture of that damn maya professor. Thankfully, I got a DVD of Boston Legal episodes and earphones. That ought to keep me sane for a while.

Deviant feelings.

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 08:38:35 PDT

I feel naughty.

Not the kind of naughty where you put a note outside the bathroom door suggesting there being a big hairy spider near the sink. I don't feel "prankster" naughty.

There are various levels you know... and currently I am in the, well to be blunt, 'devious-flirty-sexual-naughty' stage. I haven't the slightest clue as to how I came to this stage though. Maybe my dinner had some aphrodisiac in it. Is chocolate an aphrodisiac?

Yes, I had chocolates for dinner. Gave me a lovely sugar high too. Well its not like I WANTED to have sweets, but see, I went to the doctor recently about a certain "thing" which I don't want to disclose in accordance to privacy rights, and he told me to have soft foods.

Soft foods like soup, porridge, milkshakes, ice creams, chocolate mousse... etc. Now that I think about it, pizza dough is very very soft when it comes fresh out of the oven, isn't it?
Hey...I can't help it. Doctor's orders. Its not like I WANT to eat these things.

Now where was I? Ah yes... feeling sexually devious.
There is another theory for being in this stage. You see, it just rained here a while ago. The smell emanating due to a gentle drizzle, moistening the greenery around me...its activates my pheromones and puts my libido into overdrive.

Usually it starts with just a simple daydream of me sitting near the window, watching the raindrops while my girl is cuddled up to me. Then our cheeks touch...the cheeks on the face, not on the rear. While the cheeks are touching, my fingers are locked around her wrist, caressing the area just below the palm with my thumb.

The sense of touch is veryyy important you know. At this point, touch is heightened. The smell of rain has already intoxicated our minds and being cuddled near the window, cheeks touching, gentle stroking of the wrist area, we move on to the next 'sense'... Sound.

Soon there are little nothings whispered into each others ears. Random sweet words, sometimes in English, some poetic ones, and some random babbles that you would say while talking to a 3 month old child. "Coochie coochie snuggle buggums"

Ok, that last part was too weird for me to even type out.

Anyway, this whispering continues until we reach the point of advancing to the next sense.
The transition is quite smooth actually. It follows up whispering. Quite simply, during the next exchange of lovey dovey poetry, the lips just part open and close gently at her earlobe, giving a little tug. We all know what comes next. No matter how weird it may sounds, licking the ears is very stimulating.... and for those who didn't know this, do remind me to help you out by posting a list of all the erogenous spots of the human body.

Taste isn't satisfied yet, but we need to move to the next and final sense.... sight. This would happen during the licking when she is surprised, then giggles and turns around to look at me. Gazing at those eyes, instantly pleases my sense of sight. So we go back to taste, and this time its not lip to ear...its more lip to cheek, and proceeding slowly towards the lip.

...
I am so horny.
Oh...is it too late to mention that this post should be read by those who are aged 18 and above only? Ah well, for the kiddies who are reading this, go ask your parents about the birds and the bees.

I never understood that metaphor btw. Birds don't have sex with bees. It should be flowers and bees. But that has its own share of problems.

Ahem... so where was my daydream? Oh yes. Soooo we are cuddled up by the window, gentle rain outside, whispered sweet nothings, looked in her eyes, and kissed.
All 5 senses pleased.

Now we proceed to level 2.
That would be foreplay.

I really want to describe the details but all the chocolate I had seems to be having its secondary effect...its making me drowsy. So, to make things brief, at this point in my dream, certain areas have grown in size and they yearn to break free from their denim prison.

... It shouldn't rain when you are alone.
20 more days until I come back home... and starting today, exactly two weeks until submissions.

I should start doing my work tomorrow.

Edit: On a completely unrelated, yet oddly similar topic... I have a thing for the tush. You know.. ass, bottom, cheeks, derrière, fanny, gluteus maximus, hindquarters... you get the idea.

I want to scream

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:47:44 PDT

...
...

That's it. I have nothing much to say. Its all in the title. I just want to scream...badly...in the ears of my professors.

A note so high pitched that it tears through their eardrums and turns their brain into jelly. That should be my superpower.

2 more weeks of torture, and then 1 final week of hell. Two weeks... 14 damn days to finish everything, and nothing falling into place properly. The only thing going in my head is "don't fail...can't afford failing...don't fail"

Scoring high marks is not important for now. Just get the bare minimum and be done with it.

And if I hear that damn singaporean english accent one more time I will punch the speaker in the face. One more 'lah'....just ONE MORE DAMN 'LAH' and I will snap!

Going abroad is fun. You really enjoy it much more than being in India. Its just an easier and better lifestyle, no doubt about it. But it comes at a price...one major major drawback. You are alone. It sucks being alone. Yea sure you have company to hang out with..all those classmates and friends.

But when you go back home...you are alone. And that is really irritating. I had thought, it will be fine..living alone..doing what I want...having the chance to be naked in the room an entire day...cooking naked, watching TV naked, blogging naked...you get the idea.

...Ok now I am just sputtering nonsense to fill the post.
I should get back to work...

...

I have never needed a vacation so badly in my life as I need it right now.

Cursed

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:03:51 PDT

I am cursed...really. I have to be. Last Thursday, 20th August,in the dead of night, someone put a curse on me because ever since Friday, I have been having the worst luck ever.

Friday,
I wanted to make a sandwich. The best sandwich in the world. I was in the perfect mood to conjure up a sandwich that God himself would say, "I don't deserve this sandwich..its too good for me"
I went out, in the damned heat to buy all my ingredients. All through the while I was listing out the stuff I needed and kept humming to myself how beautiful this sandwich will be.

Finally I came back with everything I needed...tomatoes, cheese cubes, cucumbers, lettuce, mustard, mayo, olives, pepper, powdered Parmesan, olive butter, pasta sauce, onions,and dill pickles. All the ingredients I needed to put in my mouth watering sandwich.

Came back home, sliced and diced all the vegetables up according to whatever size and shapes I wanted, and finally, it was time to arrange them in my loaf of ... where is the bread???
What the hell? Where the F**k is my bread!!!

:(

Too hot outside to go back, plus the supermarket is a 20 minute walk away. The beautiful epic sandwich of mine had to be turned into an average salad.

Saturday,
Was feeling reasonably good. Managed to finish most of the documentary shooting. We still have to finish the audio overlay required, and shoot some intro scenes, but suffice to say, I will never have to go to that awful theme park again.
Went home all happy... I was expecting a package...had been 5 days for it. The package was very precious to me and I had specified it very clearly that it should be delivered today.

Waited all day for it to come. Finally, when it was way past midnight, I was told that it will come on Monday. Severe disappointment followed. The contents of the package didn't mean as much to me, it was the timing that mattered. Still, I thought...two more days..maybe the contents will be special.
Tried to sleep it off.

Sunday,
Ill. Not like, 'cough cough I have a fever' ill, it was more 'someone sucked up all my vitamins' ill. I slept for a total of 19 hours that day. Not continuously of course. Kept waking up every 4-5 hours, greeted with an awful headache time. Would drink some water, slice a tomato, eat it, and fall back asleep. Wake up again after 4 hours, slice a cucumber, eat it, fall back asleep. Dead tired. It reached a point where I actually had the thought, "should I go to the bathroom or just use the empty milk carton lying nearby". Needless to say, I went to the bathroom, but only because I was too drowsy that day. You never know...what if I woke up 4 hours later...felt the milk carton heavy and decided to have some milk without looking at the contents.

Monday.
After 18 hours of sleep, I felt pretty good. Physically I felt like crap, but mentally, was quite active. Had to give back the camera equipment today and show the footage we captured.
Surprise surprise. The camera isn't working. We replaced the battery...not working...we connected it directly to the outlet...nope, nothing. We borrowed another group's batteries and power cord...still nothing.
Now normally, we wouldn't care if its working or not. Our filming is done. The problem arises when the tape is INSIDE the camera. And its not coming out.
Reluctantly we told the professor of our dilemma and he said he will give it to the tech team in college to try and fix and hope to get the tape back.
To put it simply, if things don't get resolved, we probably will have to pay for a new camera, and we will have to shoot everything again.
I just know its that idiot classmate of mine who is to blame for this. Have told him a hundred times, use a surge protector when handling this relic of a camera. The circuit must have probably fried when he plugged it in to extract the tape into the pc(he said he will do it because only he has the firewire). I just hope the tape isn't fried too.
Well...at least I get my package today.

Midnight passed by again... and again, no package. It finally arrived around 3am. I wasn't excited anymore about it. Had specific instructions of when I wanted it, and it was undelivered on that day. Was promised it will be given on Monday..and once again, the promise wasn't kept. Few minutes later, I decided to let it go and opened it to check the contents....
I had very VERY SPECIFICALLY mentioned what kind of stuff I required...and I didn't get that either. So now, apart from being extremely angry at the person who gave it, I am also disappointed. The 'package' was an excuse to test something...and I would tell you what it was, but there is no point to it since the test failed.

Didn't want to think more on it now, just wanted to finish my work.

Tuesday.
Spent the entire last night working on my project. Had to submit it today. Am making an interactive website on Indian gods. Just 3 of them. Buttttt...interactivity isn't easy to imagine when you aren't keen on doing the project in the first place. Painstakingly I managed to whip up something 'mildly acceptable' in time. Saved my work, kept the laptop in my bag, took a shower and went straight to college.

No, the file was still there in my laptop. I did save it. The problem was...laptop isn't starting. Don't ask me why, I have no clue.
It just shows the "windows xp is loading" screen, but never goes to the blue screen area where I enter my password.
I waited, 5 minutes...10 minutes...20 minutes...nothing. Dozens of restarts later...nothing.
Use last known working configuration...still nothing.
Open in "safe mode"...nope.
This is just bloody fantastic.
Finally I go up to my professor and tell him the bad news. That didn't do any good.

Apparently, its not my professor's problem and he wants the submission today. Never mind that my laptop, which not only contains that project, but also, all the lecture files of this entire semester...and...sigh..my maya character, which, if I lose it, I will kill myself.
Came home early after ensuring 20% of my final project marks in today's subject gone flying out the window.
Tinkered around with the laptop some more before finally giving up and going to sleep. Have another submission to do tomorrow. Have to wake up early and rush to the college library to sit on one of the computers and try to make it fast.

Wednesday(today)
I have been sitting here since 10.30am... its 11.30 now. Started writing this post nearly a half hour ago. Why am I writing instead of making my music band interface? The answer is quite simple. You see, in my hurry of reaching the library, I forgot to get my external hard drive. I may not have done my interface layout, but I had collected all the pictures and brushes and fonts that I require for it...guess where I saved them?
Yep...aaaand that hard drive is lying safely on my table back in my room.
I am not even bothering to go and get it because, and here is the funny part... there is no photoshop installed in the college computer, soooo even if I had the drive, it would have been pointless.
Sooo I am just sitting here, wondering what to tell my professor today. Not that it matters, this is going to be like deja vu, and I will be going home early with another 20% marks of my final project for 'this' subject gone too.

Am just a little worried. Seeing how things have been going this entire week, I have a strange feeling that today's share of misery is just beginning. Am not sure if I want to be there when the next disaster strikes...wonder what it will be. Maybe my brain will implode within itself.

I have been cursed.

Ali Baba the 4th

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 06:53:50 PDT

I got one of those spam emails yesterday. Why do silly things keep happening around me I wonder....well, at least I had a little fun with it this time....posted a reply.
Check this out:

SPAM MAIL:
How are you today,
I hope that you are doing fine as i am feeling alright also. dear it was very great when i got your contact and i felt a great spark in my heart which me to be interested on you despite that i have not seen you in person but my heart really gave me a nice pleasure to communicate with you. please you can contact me back i am waiting to hear from you soonest. yours Peace with much love&higssssss Take Good Care Of Yourself, Love From Miss, Peace

ME:
ehhhhh!
I think you got the wrong email...

I figured its a case of mistaken identity...who knows..but I got another message the next day...

SPAM MAIL:
I thank you, Do not be surprise or get offended for receiving this message from me, It just that I have been obliged to lay a mere trust on you due to my situation here in the refugees camp, Let me first of all reveal my self to you, and I will require the best of your honesty after your knowing about me and whom I am, I will really like us to have a good relationship inspite of anything(be it age,distance or color) because I have this feeling that you are my man and you will not betray me,

MY PROFILE FULL LIFE STORY.
I decided to contact you because of the urgency of my situation here and i became intrested in knowing you the more and also to trust you with my life.I am Miss Peace Egoigwe Danw (as you know). from Rwanda, the only daughter of (Late) Dr Egoigwe Danw. the deputy minister of national security under the leadership of the then Rwandan president who is now in exile after many innocent soul were killed, My father was killed alonside my beloved mother by some hoodlums,who parades themselves as political thugs they accuse my father of coup attempt (which he never did) Anyway I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment I,am receiving from my step mother(since the death of my late parents).She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved parents.
Meanwhile I wanted to escape from Africa to any where in the world but she hide away my international passport and other valuable travelling documents. Luckily she did not discover where I kept my fathers File which contains important documents of his access.So I decided to run to the refugee camp where I am presently seeking asylum under the Private charity organization for the Refegee here in Dakar, Republic of Senegal. I wish to contact you personally for a long term relationship that may lead us to somewhere better if we work well on it. I found out in one of the files that my father of blessed memory deposited the sum of ($4.2m)four Million Two Hundred Thousand Dollars) in a Bank in europe with my name Peace Egoigwe Danw as the next of kin.
However, I shall forward you with the necessary documents and contacts on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer and investment of the fund.As you will also help me in an invsetment, and i will like to complete my studies, as i was in my 1st year in the university before the crisis started.
After the transaction you will arrange for my trip of joining you over there for us to share this feelings face to face. We will invest the fund me and you, or if you don't intend staying with me then It will be my pleasure to compensate you with 15% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my investment capital. This is the reason why I decided to contact you. Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes. As soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this relationship and transaction sincerely.Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your self please I beg you not to disclose it till i come over once the fund has been transfered.

ME:
I am not surprised, or offended. In fact when I first got the message, I sort of realized that it will be something of this sort. Its a shame that you are in a refugee camp.
However, let me reveal myself to you too.

My "profile full life story".
I am the son of King Ali Baba the 3rd...so technically I am Ali Baba the 4th. I already had 7 wives when I was 10 years of age. By the time I reached 21, I had over 40 women whom I could call my wife.
Now, if you ask any regular man, they will tell you that having one wife itself is enough. I have 40. A month has 30 days. Every month 10 wives are angry at me because I didn't spend time with them you know. So I finally decided to not have a long term relationship with anyone else. Hence, this relationship wouldn't work out.

Plus, when King Ali Baba the 3rd passed way( Vishnu bless his soul), he left me with more than just money. I got the palace, the haveli, over a hundred servants, an army of ten thousand men, over five hundred exotic dancers, one golden throne, and over a thousand elephants.
What is 4.2 million dollars in comparison to this... at best it will feed peanuts to my elephants for a year. My elephants are royal...they don't eat normal nuts. They eat the finest Macadamia nuts. Those are very costly you know.

Alas, my vizier is trying to capture the throne from me and is planning to take away all my inherited wealth too. So right now I am currently busy with making plans to kill him, accidentally of course. You see, I "didn't know" the royal lake was recently occupied by a crocodile. Heheheh.

Maybe you should try hooking up with the prince of Nigeria. I heard that he is giving out vast sums of money too via 'transfer' and 'investment of funds'. All he wishes is that you marry him.
It will be a good team. You can be Princess Peace Egoigwhateverstuffyoutypedrand

omly Danw of Nigeria.

Now, I must go, my 22nd wife is calling me. Have to go cut vegetables for the stew tonight.

A few minutes of amusement amongst this infinite mountain of college work. Keeps me sane. Or maybe I have gone insane and that's why I wrote such absurdities. Who can say for sure anyway. All I know is I am veryyy close to developing a personality that the Joker displayed in the last Batman movie. Just get a nice CD(since professors keep asking for submissions on CDs), with a modified edge, making it sharp. Dress up in an outrageously mismatched colored outfit and just go up to the professors and twitch a little and ask them, why so seriousssss?

...
I better put the mental asylum's number on my speed dial.

Church funnies...

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:46:08 PDT

So I was sitting in my class, bored beyond belief as usual. Things aren't going as planned because...well, there was no plan to begin with. I just want the semester to end fast now.

While the professor kept rambling some code that we typed like programmed machines, my mind drifted away. Really, it just got out of the chair, stepped out of the class, went through the doors of the main building, and decided to go travel around Singapore.

As it was wandering around, it reached a church.
From there things just went overboard.

Now the vision was no longer just my brain roaming around, oh no no. Now I was having an 'out-of-body' experience.

My physical body is still in class, typing the code endlessly. But my consciousness, given form, was standing outside church. I could actually "see" myself from another person's POV, just looking at the giant doors at the entrance.

And I went in.

The priest was chanting some stuff. Old people are sitting in the aisles, books in their hands, eyes focused on the text. I sat in the last aisle for a few minutes.

The priest was quoting some stuff from the bible, and halfway through his speech, I yelled out, "BULLSHIT! That's not how it happened"

Everyone just stared. So I left.

I came back 5 minutes later, wearing a Devil outfit...going to the old people, with a contract, asking them to sign it. It stated that if you throw a pie at the priest, I will make them young again. Three pies = young and rich.
Few people actually signed it.
It was fun to dress up as the devil and go to church.

Suddenly everything went blank.
That's because the professor came up close to my physical self, back in the classroom...and screaming out my name.

Sigh.

Half hour later, I drifted back into the daydream.
This time I entered the church as Jesus. Dressed up in white, with a long beard.
I came from the side this time, instead of the front doors... came from the place where the priest makes his entry.

I just walked up to the place where the priest was chanting stuff and the people were busy repeating it. The priest stopped chanting as soon as he saw me and since the priest stopped, the people looked up and noticed me too.

I just had a confused/angry expression on my face. I looked at the priest, and then looked at the crowd and said, "who the fuck are you people and what are you doing in my house. And that too on a Sunday. Get the hell out before I call the police. Go. Shoo Shoo. Jeez, from where do these idiots land up. Every Sunday I find random people chanting mumbo jumbo in my house. I should put up an electric fence or something..."

Then I looked at the priest and told him, "if you don't take these people and get out in five minutes, I am asking my father to nail you all on a cross. Leave now. Its time for my breakfast. "

And then I look on the side and yell, "Mary, oy...Maryyyyy, I wanna have some eggs alright."

Alas. We shall never know what happens next because my professor came back and yelled in my ear...snapping me out of my daydream again.

Now, since I don't want to "look" like I am daydreaming, I decided to 'appear' focused by writing this post right now.
Am not sure if its funny enough or not because I am feeling extremely sleepy...not quite sure if I explained everything properly.

Creativity Fizzled out.

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:23:41 PDT

For the past two days now, I have one single urge...and that is to scream out until I collapse.
I hate my college, hate my projects and I want to go home.

Video sucks. Curse the man who invented TV... can't everyone just be satisfied with still images...and if I ever meet the person who invented Adobe After Effects, I am going to add poison to their food.

I have to make something using After effects and flash. I don't know what....the theme is "sense of space". So basically something which lets people interact with the environment shown, clicking things and exploring etc...
No clue what to do...and why don't I have a clue...BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW AFTER EFFECTS!

How can I think of something if I don't have any idea of how the software works. 5 weeks left for the final project submissions. Seems like a helluva short time.

I was suggested one idea... showing a vacation in space. Well, I sort of modified that...simplified it actually. Just a little astronomy based stuff. Showing planets, with a little info on the side. I have no idea how to make it any more boring.

The second project is more interesting. Same thing actually...but with more flash, less after effects. And this time, a more specific theme is given...either make an interface for a band, an artist, or a movie.
See, actionscripting I can do...sort of. I have detailed tutorials for it.

But the first one...the space thing. Majority of it has to be after effects..and the final result is an interactive website.
Making it simple doesn't work... its easy and quick but...simple means "simple" marks.

I want a pizza. I have been wanting it for a lonnnng time now :( I miss the smell of the fresh cheese melting on the red tomato sauce, spread on the soft dough. I miss the way my eyes close up in delight as my tastebuds savor the first bite that sends a warm sensation through my body.
Sigh...wonder when I shall get a chance to eat one again...

Do any of you have any ideas about this "sense of place" theme?
The exact description of the project is : introduce your audience to a 'place' with your creativity, sense of humor, or even imagination for a place that doesn't exist. Make them explore immerse and have fun in the place. The design layout, navigation and transition should reflect creativity.
Gotta include one green screen manipulation, one text animation, and at least one special effect in AfterEffects.

The planets idea, so far I have something like...

First scene of a rocket ship flying off into space.
Then an interactive star map where you can click on the individual planets and other stuff...will add some faux nebulae and comets etc.
Since I don't know how to do a zoom effect which can turn into an interactive display at the same time, once the planet is clicked, everything fades out and fades back in to a closer view of the planet on the left side and a bunch of info on the right side.....

My muse in on a vacation alright...I can't come up with good ideas right now!

Help.

Edit:
Alice in wonderland is a gooood theme. Just thought of it. Now, if only I knew how to actually 'show' wonderland. I don't even recall the entire story. There was a caterpillar, a bunny with a watch, a mad hatter, queen of hearts, a grinning cat, two fat twins, and ...i think there was a carpenter and an otter and ..oysters???

...
Uh...never mind.

Edit 2 :
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...
banging on the keyboard to release some stress... try it. Its fun. Too bad I don't have a hammer lying around.

Monday morning blues.

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:55:53 PDT

Everyone has suffered a case of the blues at least once on an early Monday morning. Today its my turn. Though, to be honest, I have been living through these "Monday blues" since the past Thursday.

Today was just the tipping point. Am glad there is no college today, on account of it being a National Day here...there is no way I could have gotten myself to go.
Woke up early in the morning, found out that my playlist had kept looping through the night. Waking up to certain songs should be forbidden... Monday is depressing enough as it is.

To make matters worse, its raining. Not heavily, but its a dull cold rain...you wouldn't even call it morning if you see the number of clouds hovering across the sky, blocking out any beam of sunlight that may be trying to wiggle through.

I woke up in the morning, just opening my eyes, listening to the music, accompanied by the sound of the raindrops hitting my balcony floor. It didn't take long to realize that I slept with my cellphone nestled in my palm.
Slowly, my blurry vision focused on the screen, looking for any signs of activity...a call...an sms...something.

There was none.

Understandable I guess...I was up too early anyway.

A cold wave hit my body, piercing icy coldness just cutting through my arms, right through my blanket and down my back. Air-conditioning shouldn't be switched on when it rains...it gets too cold. Don't have the strength to find the remote and switch it off...its easier to just slowly accept the cold.

I heard a growl. A low pitched gurgling moan emitted from my stomach, reminding me of what I had for dinner last night... nothing. I satiate it for a while by gulping down a couple of mentos...its the only thing available within arm's reach. Not sure if I want to get out of bed today.

I closed my eyes for a couple of minutes, focusing on the environment around me.
The song on my playlist had just ended...I was waiting for the next one to start. I knew which one came next. Eyes shut, absorbing the silence as much as I can, bracing myself for the next melody to begin. My fingers just clutched my cellphone tightly as the first note struck, and it was all downhill from there.

Reaching for my wallet, I removed a picture which I have kept hidden amongst some other pieces of paper...little moments which I have shared with her. The beautiful dreams, the reminiscence of precious memories echo through the room, their voice just enhanced with the tune being played... filling in my ears until I can no longer hear myself think. I shut my eyes tight, trying to focus, trying to make myself calm down.

When they finally opened, I found myself staring at the picture in my hand. One of my precious memories. I see a couple of kids, two playful little kids, smiling happily. Arms around each other, eyes twinkling, lips grinning. I see a pair of eyes looking straight at the camera, looking at me. A pair of hypnotic chocolate brown, and next to them, another pair of dark brown ones, which are mine.
A faint grin creeps up on my face as I recall the memory of that day. A fleeting grin for as if on cue, the next song began.

The rain still hasn't stopped. I have the picture in my hand, still gazing at it, but the vision is getting blurry now. Need to wash my eyes. The symphony playing has clutched my heart, forcing me to sit back and listen to it completely without being distracted. It played for a total of 5 minutes before I managed to let out a breath of relief and quickly kept the picture back in my wallet lest the next song starts, making me want to wash my eyes even more.

I look at my phone...apparently it was still in my hand. I stare at it, knowing that all I have to do is key in a few numbers and hit the call button to hear your lovely voice. It would hopefully soothe me a little. Glancing at the little clock on the corner right of the screen, I realize its too early.

A little battle begins in my head. One side says if I wait any longer I am going to lose my nerves and the other side says its still too early where you are, and I would hate to wake you up like that. I hold on to my phone tight, knowing that this is the only connection I have to you. Maybe today I will get a chance to use it and I will hear your voice, hear you laugh, feel you smile.

The final song hits the playlist... kept at the end for a reason. The music echoes in the loneliness, filling up the empty room. The rain seems to have increased a little.
Three minutes into the song, I just get up and step out the balcony, knowing that I will regret getting wet later in the day when I am coughing my lungs off.

But for now it didn't matter. I just stood in the rain, trying to remember all the long talks I used to have with her late into the night.... little nothings, but which meant so much to me. Trying to recall the warmth of her body as I hugged her. I remembered all the little things I did for her, holding her close when she was scared, reassuring her that everything was going to be alright.

The song ended. I had made sure the playlist doesn't loop back this time. Utter silence now, with the exception of the raindrops hitting the floor. By now I was soaked throughout. The tears streaming down my cheeks were well hidden in the cold rain.

Silence just made it worse. Should have let the playlist loop once more.

Going back inside, getting out of the soaked clothes, drying myself out and crawling back into my bed. Monday morning blues are a pain to deal with.

Crazy week

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:46:05 PDT

Nothing else describes this week. 'Crazy' is the most apt word for it.

After the initial withdrawal symptoms from not writing on a daily basis, I finally managed to think of stuff other than my blog. The results were not pretty at all.
Turns out that this semester is painfully hard.

I detest my 3d character model, have absolutely no clue whats going on the aftereffects and the actionscripting class, and far as making a documentary is concerned...well... we are taking the camera today from college. I am almost expecting it to not be charged so today is going to be a bust too.

Regardless, still going to just go and take some test shots. I have never gone to the place I am supposed to shoot..a theme park called Haw Par Villa. It came to my attention that I am not a big fan of documentaries when I am the one creating them.
Why?

Because I watch too many of them.

Yes that is a reason. Its a damn good reason.
Considering the amount of nature shows, travel shows, history, astronomy...various documentaries that I watch on a routine basis, there is a certain level of quality that one expects.
Very VERY hard to meet expectations when your group is filled with... lets just say "the wrong people" and leave it at that. Something tells me that today is going to be a disaster.

In other news, my parcel hasn't arrived yet. Therefore Raksha Bandhan shall have to be delayed by one day(provided the package arrives today)
What else? Oh. I have decided not to go visit the National Day Parade to capture fireworks.
The way I see it... 5 hours of waiting for 5 minutes of fireworks...naaah. I rather spend my time at home, watching movies, or making another beautiful outline of what stuff I shall complete on that day, and then, when the day finishes..see that nothing is checked off and just use that list to make a paper aeroplane...which nosedives straight to the ground.

I have $800. Well I do have more of course, but currently I have an *extra* $800. No I am not giving it to you... it took a lot of pain and effort to acquire them.
I was going to use them up and take a nice vacation some place nearby...but due to unavoidable circumstances, I now have $800 dollars which I can either save until I plan my next hypothetical trip, which might get canceled too.... or I can buy a new lens...or I can travel to college in a cab about...80 times... or I can get over 500 Snickers chocolates... or 32 pizzas.

You get the idea.

Its funny how the human mind works. There are sooo many ways that I can just spend that money on pleasures that I can get now. But instead, I choose to save the damn cash in hopes of a nice vacation next semester, which will probably not happen due to work related stuff.
Maybe I am just growing old.

By the way, this post is not interesting because...hey guess what..its too damn early to write.
I can't help it. I woke up suddenly.
Had fell asleep around 12.30...dead tired. Literally dead tired. Had kept so many alarms everywhere, on my pc, cellphone(s), alarm clock, tv....had to make sure I get up at 10am.

Its 5.10am.
Gee. Fantastic.

I have sooo much time to spare. But guess what's going to happen. By around 8am, snoozeville shall come again and I am going to take a rest stop there, thus being late for my class. Unless I am woken up with a flurry of alarms...irritated out of my mind, take a quick shower, eat a banana(I have bananas this week instead of apples), gulp down some milk and smash a lot of doors shut as I exit.

Frustration is setting in slowly.
If you think this is bad, wait till you see the next two weeks. Next week is final project briefing. The time where I will hopefully realize exactly what the hell do I have to submit for my Aftereffects class and that damn actionscript class.
The week after that...results time. Last semester's results will be out. This is not a pretty sight.

I am 6.1 now....batch number. 6.1
Sixth semester.

Kinda amusing for me. I remember being 1.1 just a year ago. It was so much simpler back then. I want the professor who taught me at that time to come back and teach these new subjects.
Its not that he was any good...frankly, he was an idiot who just showed some stuff on the projector and let us go.
Ah, but I want him to teach us for another reason... see... I am his favorite student. That really helps out a lot.

Alright alright. Go then. As it is I am just wasting time babbling out nonsensical stuff. What do you expect anyway. I have to somehow stay awake for another 5 hours.
This is really not how I expect to start my day.

CAtch you later.

What Hershey Wants

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:58:51 PDT

It was a day of celebrations yesterday. The blog marathon has been successfully completed by my marathon partner and me. My partner, the owner of this blog and I, the co-owner, Shruti(the author of Highspot) *wink* want to do something special to mark the unbelievable, successful double achievement. So, to make the work a little more special, we are garnishing the bunch of 61 posts by a guest post on each others blogs. Good idea no? :)

Hershey has written enough about himself in this blog and a reader can easily write a book on him. So, I will just add some icing to the cake and elaborate on a tiny little topic about him - a couple of things that he might want.

*Ahem*

Hershey would love to have someone to iron his shirts for him while he is catching up with his sleep in the wee hours of the morning before his college begins. Wee hours of the morning for him are 11am to 1:30pm. If its someone who takes 10 minutes to iron a shirt, that would be a huge blessing because Hershey needs around 40 minutes for it. Oh it isn't much! A shirt after all has soooo many parts!! A sleeve, a collar, another sleeve, lots of cloth between the sleeves, BUTTONS, of course you don't have to iron them, but still, they come in the way! 40 minutes is not much if you consider a nominal 10 minutes for ironing each part!
My solution: I'd do all the ironing for him... if we were in the same country *sigh*

He would also love to have the ability to get dressed and magically reach college at the blink of the eye... or a twitch of his nose. Or just a yawn. All this so that he needn't have to let go of his lovely pillow and lovelier sleep.
My solution: What I would like to give him is an alarm clock. This will be very different from others of its kind. The alarm will be loud squeals and quacks and hysterical laughter at first. Hershey's magical hand will surely find its way to the source of sound to snooze the alarm. When snoozed, the clock would roll on to a randomly chosen corner of the room, wait for a minute before the next alarm rings. Then there be sounds of plates falling onto the floor and crashing, there'd be sounds of drilling machines and hysterical laughter again. Hershey's hand would rise in intense anger but the strong arm would never be able to find the pest of a clock. Poor baby would then have to get up and hunt for the noisy thing. After bending and stretching and finally fishing out the evil clock from under his cabinet, it'd ask Hershey to answer three questions. Only if Hershey punches in the correct answer (mathematical) will the alarm switch off. Else, the snooze will just make it ring every minute. After so much of activity, he wouldn't be in a mood to go back to sleep. And he'd wake up for college in time.
You think he'll throw the clock away? No he won't. It has sentiments attached. heeheehehee... and no it cannot be switched off. The alarms set are pre-programmed by the person who gave the clock to him. :D

Hershey would love to have the power to make people disappear. Top spots on his list are some of his classmates and professors. But knowing him and his patience levels, his college would be half empty on the day he gets his new superpower. His geeky classmate would walk to him and say 'Good afternoon lah!' *poof!!* and he'd be gone forever!
My solution: what solution? its not a problem! eeheeheeheeheee ;)

To see Hershey's guest post go to my blog here : Link

Final post

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:11:00 PDT

YAY!
Today is the final day of the 2 month blog marathon. Finally after 60..well 61 to be precise, SIXTY ONE loooong days, I can rest easy because now I don't "have" to post on a daily basis.

Hmm...well its not that I can't.
See here's the thing.

First month, it was hilarious. Fun to write. Specially considering that I was rarely writing anything meaningful in the past year. Blogging in june continuously got my groove back. By mid july, I was pretty much back with my witty humor...which means that now I was noticing things again, daily stuff which people do. I could make a small drabble about being in an elevator sound funny. Hurray!

Alas, I still had to continue blogging. That really doesn't work out when you don't have a thing to write. Hence the frequent "hershey says" and the nonsensical updates. Am a little embarrassed to say that I even posted a couple of email forwards and internet jokes during the time.

Anyway, am not going to write much today because...well...its the last day and I literally have nothing to write. Plus I am feeling damn lazy. Do you know how long I have kept this posting page open? Do you even know?
I started writing this at 9.45pm...its now 5am. That is WAYYYY too long.

I just write a couple of sentences, delete them, write some more, click on that backspace button, see a cockroack in my room, freak out , look for bugspray and can't find it...sadly realizing that its all finished, so as a desperate attempt use my deo..which ironically flips the cockroach over on to its back and I quickly get a book and send the cockroach flying out my door and down the steps where my neighbor will probably step on it in the morning and he doesn't wear slippers.

Actually, its almost time for him to wake up and go down to the kitchen for his tea. He is one of those early birds...today he shall feast on squished cockroach instead of worms. Muahahaha.

Funny thing happened today. This is why I like the girl. She can be utterly silly sometimes. I get such cases of temporary insanity too btw, but they are rarely in sync.

I was eating almonds today...badaam. She called me a bad mango...which obviously confused me. Then she explained...arey..mango...aam.. bad"aam".

Oh dear god that is just way toooo silly. And its really hard for me to admit that I actually grinned at that little pun. You can't hide a grin when you are on webcam.

Alright, enough now. Time to leave.
Tomorrow its going to be a nice day...and, well I guess I will see you guys in a while. Will try my best to write at least thrice a week. That should be enough.

See ya.

And thank you for making me continue writing.

Shaving mishaps.

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 11:32:06 PDT

Too upset to write.

I was a little sleepy while shaving tonight. Yea, I shave at nights ok, can we move along to my boo-boo.

I use an electric razor... for 2 reasons.
1. Convenience
2. Electric razors leave a stubble if you desire it. You can just set the razor limits. 1 is lowest, cleanest stubble. 9 is..well...9 doesn't do anything to the face unless you have a beard that touches your chest.

Now I have heard this thing...if you keep shaving with an electric razor frequently, the skin area will become dark. Well, so far, I consider that a rumor...besides, I shave like...once in 20 days. HEY! I can't help it if my facial hair doesn't grow fast ok!

Anway, I use a level setting 1 for sideburns and jaw area. Level 2 for chin and Level 3 for moustache.

Trust me when I say this...level 1..its like fine sandpaper. Level two leaves a visible stubble...consider it like a 2-day stubble.

The boo-boo I made is..well..mustache got shaved at the wrong level...and now my upper lip is clearly visible. I am horrified! Aghast! Shocked!
I could watch myself in the mirror making this blunder...half dazed, I moved from my chin to my mustache, without changing the setting.

My brain sent a distress signal immediately to stop my hand from moving, but it was too late.

BUZZZZZZ

Right mustache was shaved off... a little bit smaller than my usual limit. Eyes widened in shock, and I let out a scream!

Sigh. I had no choice. Can't be a freakshow, having just one side trimmed now can I. So, with much suffering, I trimmed the other side too.
My upper lip is clearly visible.

I look younger...and innocent.

Agreed, when I had a thicker mustache, I looked older, which I hated...but at least I was looking evil and naughty. A no-nonsense type of guy. Now I look...silly.

Ironically, my girl likes it...loves it in fact.
Well...now that I think about it... its not THAT bad. The innocent look, might work for a while.
After all, the way I think about it, I see benefits...

1. The girl likes it, so more kisses for me.
2. I look innocent, good disguise.
3. Looking younger a little too.
4. Girl likes it...more kisses for me...I say it again because its very important.

Lets see how long I keep this look.
Last post tomorrow. Finally. Two whole months of daily blogging shall end.

Just another update

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 13:23:17 PDT

So yet another work week ends for me. Sometimes its fun to have college just three days a week. Provided you don't get bored the remaining four days.

Have a lot of stuff to do this week too, and hopefully something will get checked off my "to-do" list this time. To sum it up, gotta finish making a rough 3d model of the character, try learning actionscript for flash, prepare the script for my documentary, upload photos on stock sites, and miscellaneous stuff that I can't recall right now.

Before I forget, there is a question that's been nagging me...something I must ask the readers. See, its nearing the end of the month now....which will mark the end of blogging once a day, everyday for the past two months. The question is...should I continue blogging on a daily basis for August too or cut back a little?
Because, lets face it...there are days when I have nothing to talk about and I end up using a "Hershey says" as an escape route...or shameless post email forwards. Or worse, give you "updates" :P

But I am up for the task for yet another month, if the readers don't mind. Do let me know.

Apart from that, I deleted Dragonica. Uninstalled it. Certain games aren't meant to be played when you are running a tight schedule. I rather finish my work first.

I have also realized, yet again, just how lucky I am to have my girl. If it weren't for her, I would have missed today's class too. Overslept today also. Barely managed to reach college. I sort of had to forfeit bathing, and just grabbed a shirt and jeans, wore them, sprayed myself heavily with deo and ran. Oh stop "ewww"ing. This isn't the first time I have been through this.
Besides, the reason why I didn't just ignore her wake up messages and calls is because if I bunk more than 2 lectures, I fail instantly. Stupid foreign student rules.

Anyway, I am really realllllly thankful to have a girl who keeps a note of my timetable even though she stays 2 and a half hours before my timezone.
I know you are reading this sweetie, thanks for being there. I appreciate it.

In other news, I finally took a closer look at the pictures of the fireworks I shot at the National Day Parade rehearsal. Considering this is the first time I captured firework shots, am really impressed with myself. The pics I am seeing...they represent nothing as to what I saw with my own eyes. Slow shutter speeds really capture unique light trails.

The fireworks reminded me of small galaxies.
Will be uploading the pictures on facebook and flickr shortly.

Until then, see ya people.
And don't forget to leave your thoughts on whether I should continue writing on a daily basis for another month or give it a rest already.

Stress management

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:00:49 PDT

Here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts:

Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.
No one knows your secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world".
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water...

There now.....

feeling better?

*too tired to write anything..found this on the internet. Quite funny.

A case of the zzz

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 14:17:51 PDT

Sleeping. A state where your body shuts down everything except the vital functions and you go off into dreamworld where your subconscious conjures up the most oddest of fantasies.

I love to sleep. I usually start my day in snooze mode, which lasts till noon. Its fun to have late afternoon college. Though, sleeping in class turns out problematic at times. There have been such moments where I am playing games and I am sooo close to become a level 21 gladiator that I play through the morning(my snooze time) and alas, have to go straight to class.
There I am dozing off mid-lecture, and when the professor calls out my name..all I can say is, "shh, I am a level 21 gladiator now. I need my rest to kill the Tutu and get his helmet"

True story. Am playing Dragonica :P

First, let us ask what causes sleep?
The Ventrolateral Preoptic Area produces Neurotransmitters that inhibit the parts of our brain(midbrain) that cause wakefulness.

To put it simply, VPAN causes sleep. The problem occurs when you struggle to stay awake. Your brain can't fight the VPAN. It tries its best, but VPAN is strong...its like a Juggernaut. Nothing stops a Juggernaut. I can sense that you are losing the thought process here.

Lets start over. Have you ever been in a situation where you are blinking your eyes once every five or ten minutes. Where you wish you could do it often, but once those eyelids shut, they remain shut until you suddenly snap back up.
Yea, that is the constant struggle between your brain and VPAN. Its like a war between good and evil.

It reaches a point where the VPAN says, "Fuck it, I am putting this body to sleep. So what if its in class. I don't care if it snores in public. Sleep means sleep. I am so evil!"
The brain tries its best to intervene, " Halt. Who goes there. Thou reeks of evil chemicals that put a man into slumber. Thou shalt not pass"

VPAN just laughs maniacally and says, "Bring it on, little brain"

And it happens, you go into a semi-sleep state where you exhibit strange behavior that I shall mention now...
I hate it when it happens to me, but its fun if you see it happening to your classmates :P

1. The Jolter
Everyone has seen the "Jolter" sleeper at some point in their life. Its the most common type of sleeper. They have a very weak brain. As soon as the VPAN attacks, their body begins to lose muscle control. They start slouching a little until they hunch forward, kinda looks like an awkward fetal position. And then suddenly, maybe they heard a noise or someone called out their name, or the brain is desperately trying to shake VPAN off...regardless, the relaxed muscles tingle with electricity and they jolt straight up, body giving an awkward jerk and the person makes a very weird snorting sound.
Sometimes it looks like they just came out of an exorcism. Just awaken with a lot of grunting noises and stupid questions, "where am I, who am I, what class is this, am I taking this subject?"

2. The Construction company.
This sleeper is named according to the sounds he makes. His snoring can not only wake up the dead, but actually make the corpses wish their ears would be the first to deteriorate. This is not only embarrassing but also dangerous in class, because there is nothing like a loud snore that will attract a professor towards you.
The best part of this type though...its amusing to see them get caught.
Mind you, there are sub-types here. Snoring comes in various categories.

Light snoring. A soft gentle hum, but audible enough for the professor's ears.
Whistling Dixie. A snore with a nose whistle.
Beethoven's sonata. A snore which begins light and gets louder and stronger with time.
Electric drill/hammer. You would think that the building next door is being torn apart.

3. Jaws
Aptly named after the movie, this type of sleeper doesn't lose muscle control of his body, just his jaw. Its like they are dreaming of a dentist and saying "aaah". But still much much worse. For one thing, the jaw opens a lot wider than the usual limit. You have never seen the guy's mouth expand to such an extent. Drooling doesn't help either. Though it is hilarious to witness such a sight. Thank god for cellphones with cameras :)
Also, in a boring class, such a person contributes to entertaining the class by participating in a game of "who manages to land the crumpled ball of paper in the moron's jaw"

4. The Conversationalist
I fall in this category. A sleep talker. I have said many odd phrases in my life. Many people fall in this category too. At some point everyone has blurted out oddities while being in a semi-sleep state. It can be funny, but at some point it could be dangerous too... sometimes its similar to being drunk. You don't really have control of what you are saying. No telling when you may tell one of your classmates exactly how much their work really sucks.
Early afternoon today, I had slept on the sofa outside my classroom, yes we have a sofa. One of my classmates got me a root beer, apparently before dozing off, I told him to get one can for me.
He woke me up, "oy, get up. I got you the R-B"
I replied, half dazed, "Now is not the time for beer. I have to kill the Tutu"

Face it, sleeptalking is fun. I wonder if my girl is a sleep talker. Basically the only way to find out is talk with them when they sleep. They ought to respond at some point. :P

5. The Zombie
This sleeper dozes off with his eyes open. Rare but I have seen 2 people from my school and high school days who would do this. They aren't daydreaming. In day dreaming, when someone calls your name, you blink a lot and say, "sorry, I was lost in thought". You don't say "Oh, sorry, I must have fallen asleep"
These guys just sit in class, eyes open, a very surprised expression on their face, but in their head, they are fast asleep, dreaming of pink pillows and other oddities.

I am sure there are many more types, but I can only think of these 5 for now.
Well, enough of this now. Its already late. Tomorrow is a busy day. I better catch some sleep or else its going to be a tiresome day tomorrow too.

GIJOE

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:33:10 PDT

I just found out that there is a GIJOE movie coming soon...yea yea everyone else probably knows about this already. Regardless, there is a GIJOE MOVIE coming soon.

To say I am excited is an understatement.
I loved GIJOE. As a kid, I used to wake up religiously at 7.00am sharp to watch the cartoons. Did a little check on this movie and yea...they do have Snake eyes in the flick. Perfect. That's all I need as incentive to go watch this.

Come on, you have to admit...snake eyes is the ONLY cool GIJOE amongst the guys. A mysterious soldier, constantly shown wearing a mask, never speaks, owns a pet wolf, and is a martial artist. Can't get any better than that.

I do have some concern about the movie though...

See, I have watched Superman, Batman, the Hulk, Spiderman, Xmen etc...almost all DC or Marvel related movies.
Apart from Spiderman and Xmen, each of them sucked. Big time.

Spiderman was cool because the storyline was perfect, and the spiderman costume was fantastic.
Xmen worked because of Hugh Jackman's portrayal of Wolverine. Period.

Hulk was...uhhh...dull.
Batman, good but the costume isn't nice at all. Quite boring. Lacks the "dark knight" character.
Superman...people, for godsakes, superman is well built. He has a body of a heavyweight superstar. Bulked up with muscle. He cannot be portrayed with an actor who is lean and who looks like a pansy.

Basically it evens out to this : Movies based on cartoons are rarely fun.

I don't want to watch this movie if its going to make me annoyed like hell. I was literally screaming in anger when I saw the last Superman movie. Its not nice to mess with my comic book idols.

GIJOE....the trailer sure looks promising. But...then again...even the transformers looked promising. Turned out to be just good graphics and an absurdly expensive way to eat popcorn for 2 hours.

I can't believe though that they made a GIJOE movie... wonder what's next. I know what's in my wishlist.
1. Thundercats.
2. He-man.
3. Ninja Robots(try something better than Transformers)

Lets see these 3 for now..will give the rest later. And for godsakes, lets keep He-man strong and bulky. I don't want a pansy He-man.
That last He-man movie wasn't bad. The guy who portrayed him was quite ok. Someone similar with a better storyline now would be great.

Wasting hours

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 11:01:28 PDT

I have recently found out that most of my day is wasted on the internet....and what do I do about it? I publish this new-found fact on my blog. Talk about irony.

This is like the time where I wanted that girl who was arguing with her boyfriend in public, to slap him hard on the face, just so I can get a good photograph. Well...maybe not exactly the same comparison but you get the idea.

It was supposed to be a busy weekend. So far, I have just one day left...Sunday, and my to-do list is untouched since Thursday. Not a good thing.
I blame it on games. Should never have installed this "Dragonica". Its addictive. I am so close to turning my warrior into a gladiator.

As if spending hours on the game wasn't enough, the remainder of my time goes browsing on the web, surfing youtube for stand-up comedy skits, or reading comics.

Tomorrow is going to be hell. Have to prepare a rough idea for a documentary, and have to start modeling my character in Maya. Sounds easy, if I wasn't lazy. But alas... I can think of so many things I can do other than work.
1. Sleep
2. Play
3. Eat.
4. Read comics...until you fall asleep.
5. Go get a massage...and fall asleep on their table.

...and so on.

Its just one of those dull days where you just wish for Monday to begin so at least you will get our of the house and do something worthwhile. Oddly, by wednesday I begin wishing for a long long vacation.

I need to find something interesting...and productive.

Tired

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:56:33 PDT

Not feeling well today.

Been dozing on and off throughout the day. So much work pending, and I can't do a thing about it because the moment I raise my head up from the pillow, the world begins to swirl around me.
I am just assuming these are side effects of lack of sleep and extreme tiredness...the alternative(being sick) isn't good.

Tomorrow is the National Day Parade here..I think. God knows, but there is going to be a fireworks display tomorrow. Hopefully I can make it.

Keeping this post short...can't bear keeping my eyes open. The light is giving me a headache.

Hershey says # 7

hersheydesai@gmail.com (Hershey Desai) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:03:53 PDT

Hershey says, "One of the best ways to beat stress and high blood pressure is to keep pressing Ctrl +S every 5 minutes while typing your projects out."

Honestly. It helps a lot. I should know because...well there was a time when I had written a 20 page project report on nanotechnology. It was beautiful...and then the power went out. Screams echoed throughout the house and the table was pounded by heavy fists, followed by a volley of swear words.

So remember kids, when writing something...press Ctrl + S every 5 minutes or less