Hey Epiphora

Review: Life

Epiphora — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:22:39 +0000

The Leaf Life looks like something you’d pick up along a nature trail. Colored a cheery green and shaped like a fat leaf or a pointy slug, the Life comes from a line of vibes inspired by nature that I found too intriguing to ignore. And I’m glad I tried one (the right one, perhaps), because… I really like it.

The Life comes in a brown cardboard box that looks all eco-schmancy, but there’s nothing that makes this toy more eco-friendly than any other rechargeable vibe. It does come with a sweet storage bag. It does not charge magnetically, but instead one must impale the toy with a jack in the same way as with the Jopen Vanity vibes. You’d think this would make the toy far from waterproof, but no — somehow this thing is totally submersible. I don’t know how, but it is.

The vibe itself is not as uniform and sleek as press photos make it look. It does, in fact, have a seam that runs all the way around it (noticeable with the fingertip but not with the clit), and its underside is brandished with a slew of small symbols, such as the PowerBullet logo and the “don’t throw me away” trashcan. Leaf acknowledges this fact, as its manual reads,

Unfortunately we are forced to put them on due to international laws, so please do not be mad at us. Look on the bright side through, we made them very smooth and the same color as the rest of your toy so you more than likely will not really notice them anyway.

(Anyone else get the sense this is directed toward cranky reviewers like myself?) But they’re right — the symbols are all on the non-business end of the toy, on the underside, so they’re easily forgotten. Still, all of this cheapens the overall feel of the design, and makes the price tag ($130) harder to swallow.

Yeah, so, that’s the thing. This toy has several failings that it’s my duty as a reviewer to impress upon you. It’s overpriced, it has seams, its controls are confusing at first, and it’s not very quiet. The rational part of me understands these facts and wants you to know them too, but the emotional part of me — and my clit — would rather just say, “IT’S GREEN AND PRETTY AND IT FEELS GOOD AND DOES GOOD IN THE WORLD.”

So I’m gonna try to explain both sides.

The Life is controlled by a single button that illuminates when pressed. You press it once to turn it on, hold it down to turn it up, and press it quickly to turn it off — which is basically the opposite of what we, toy users, have been conditioned to do. It takes some adjustment, and I still find myself accidentally turning it off when I mean to increase the power, but actually… it’s a decent system once you get used to it. Even if there’s no way to know which level you’re on, and the toy doesn’t remember after a reboot.

The Life doesn’t have any vibration patterns. Not a deal-breaker for me, but if it is for you, don’t plop down the money. Plenty of other vibes have ‘em.

I find the Life very ergonomic. I have no trouble holding it or accessing its button in use. It feels natural and unobtrusive. Like… like it was created by nature! Ugh, ignore me.

Like every other rechargeable clit toy in the history of ever, the Life is not insanely powerful. It is nowhere near the Wahl, Mystic Wand, or Hitachi. But it’s not a weakling either, and it’s definitely enough for me. I’d say it’s on par with the We-Vibe Touch, one of my favorite rechargeable clit toys, but there’s a big difference in how the toys feel.

The Touch is a toy that I press into myself a bit; it has a wider tip, and the vibrations are reverberating and somewhat deep. The Life… it kind-of… writhes at the tip. Do not picture a tongue when I say this, but it flicks a very small amount because the tip is so small and the silicone has some give. Too much pressure dampens the sensation, but I’m fine with a moderate amount of pressure.

This flicking thing, this extremely pinpoint stimulation, really does it for me. Actually, this toy’s tip is so tiny that it made me realize how much of a lefty my clit is! That’s how hard it is to come by targeted stimulation like this. The Form 3 tried to do it and failed. I can’t think of another toy that feels like this one does, and that’s saying something.

So I struggle. Because I like the Life a lot — the stimulation is unique and delicious, the color is badass, and it’s rechargeable. But you should only buy it if you like super pinpoint stimulation, and only if you can get a good deal, and only if you are okay with some noise. Which doesn’t sound like the ringing endorsement my clit wants me to give, but I gotta keep it real.

Thanks, Babeland! Babeland also carries the Bloom and Vitality from the Leaf line.

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Protected: The pinnacle of relief

Epiphora — Mon, 07 May 2012 20:05:52 +0000

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Pornfail: Pussy painting

Epiphora — Thu, 03 May 2012 15:20:12 +0000

Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for you!

Seriously, it’s uncanny how much this film understands womankind. Case in point: the painting scene. I have learned much from this scene, like that paint fumes are an aphrodisiac. And that girls like getting ass-fucked by paintbrush handles while contorting their bodies into pretzel shapes.

To my surprise, I learned that girls HATE happiness. And subtlety.

To nobody’s surprise, girls like purple! A lot of it. In sopping wet toxic paint form.

Girls like humping canvases. Girls like making art.

Pretty good, pretty good! I find this to be an intriguing representation of female desire. I like the mood, and the unique texture the artist has achieved. Slightly animalistic. Of course, it’s no pussy doodles, but what is?

Someone help these women apply to be on Work of Art, stat. They’re certainly on par with the guy who made cement anuses.

Thanks again, porn. If not for you, I would never have a clue about teh ladiez.

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Review: Hold On To Me

Epiphora — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 20:19:20 +0000

I’ll admit I scoffed at Real Housewife of Atlanta Kandi Burruss’ new line of sex toys, Bedroom Kandi. Look, I’m not into so-called “girly” things… like make-up. I haven’t owned mascara since high school. I’ve never bought a tube of lipstick. However! I do own my fair share of vag balls. And Hold On To Me (kind-of a dumb name… no, really a dumb name) is a set of four vag balls that, surprisingly, are not shaped like some cosmetic item.

Bedroom Kandi toys are manufactured by OhMiBod, so my vag balls came in a cardboard box with both BK and OhMiBod on it. Inside was a more heavy-duty black box that opens up to reveal a bed of black satin upon which the four balls rest. Also included is a small satin drawstring pouch.

At 1.25″ in diameter each, these things are downright puny compared to my favorite vag balls, the LELO Luna Beads. I thought these balls, if they worked, would be a good recommendation for folks who think other vag balls are too big. But no — although the Hold On To Me balls are comfortable, they fail in every other respect.

Each ball, which is made of clear plastic with a pink inner ball, is brandished with a golden dot or dots to denote its weight. There is a .9-ounce ball, a 1.1-ounce ball, a 1.2-ounce ball, and a 1.4-ounce ball. There are two black holster choices — a single-ball holster and a double-ball holster — which may or may not be pure silicone.

More things that are wrong: the golden dots rub off really easily and the holsters are thin and near-impossible to wrangle the balls into. Theoretically, you can create any combo of ball weights that you desire… but you won’t want to, because the process of holstering them is so heinous — and the payoff is so non-existent.

Yes, the sad truth is that the Hold On To Me balls are absolutely no fun at all to wear. I cannot feel a thing once they are inserted. The outer balls are not big enough to feel when I clench, and the inner balls don’t have enough space to roll around in. Once, I almost took a nap before remembering they were inside of me.

This becomes a problem when you think about the purpose of vag balls in the first place. You are supposed to use them to keep your PC muscles in shape. To keep your PC muscles in shape, you must do kegels. To do kegels, you must clench your PC muscles. And guess what? In order to remember to clench your PC muscles, you have to periodically remember that there is something in your vagina.

None of this, though, is as bad as the retrieval cords. They are the thinnest, flimsiest cords I’ve ever seen on vag balls, and they’re stretchy as fuck. HOW IS A REALLY STRETCHY RETRIEVAL CORD USEFUL? Seriously, I don’t get how this happens. Repeatedly. I even pulled on the cord while the balls were in my vagina, stretching it to its limit, cringing. Then I grabbed the tape measure. ELEVEN INCHES. And of course, the balls don’t budge until I actually start pushing with my PC muscles, which begs the question: what happens to people who don’t have developed PC muscles? I guess they risk the rubber band effect even more.

Stupid-ass design flaws aside, how are you going to tone your PC muscles if you don’t even remember to clench around the toy? You’re not. The Luna Beads and even the horribly-named (and disturbingly cheap) L’Amour Premium Weighted Pleasure System are both more noticeable and more pleasurable, because they are bigger and the inner balls have more space in which to roll, tremble, and party.

Much respect, Kandi Burruss, for writing “No Scrubs” and “Bug a Boo,” but maybe instead of designing sex toys, you should’ve stuck to writing R&B classics.

Thanks, Babeland!

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Soaked-through paper towels

Epiphora — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:37:39 +0000

Sometimes I wait an embarrassingly long time to clean my sex toys. But that’s the beauty of non-porous toys — they clean up beautifully no matter what. And just look at this awesome array of colors! I’m so proud of myself for not having a pink and purple smorgasbord. Clearly, though, I need to invest in better paper towels.

It’s hard to make an ordered list of these toys, but I’ll try: NobEssence Seduction, Fun Factory Big Boss, njoy Fun Wand, pink attachment for the Rock Box, Tantus O2 Rascal, Leaf Life, attachments for the Eroscillator, Vixen Creations Maverick, njoy Pure Wand, Vibratex Mystic Wand, Fun Factory G-Twist.

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Protected: To tell the truth

Epiphora — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 07:32:52 +0000

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Review: Intensity

Epiphora — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 13:21:32 +0000

The Jopen Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used to strengthen women’s pelvic floor muscles and treat incontinence. When product testers began experiencing an “unexpected” side effect — intense orgasms — the medical peeps contacted Jopen. Jopen knew just how to turn the thing into a true blue sex toy: they stuck a clit stimulator on it. And kept its original color of pukey pink-purple, because we all know women won’t touch anything outside of those shades.

So the toy was released, Jopen started throwing out phrases like “game-changer,” sex bloggers gawked at the toy’s hideousness, Jopen released a weird-ass video testimonial starring your friend’s mom who drank too much peppermint schnapps, and I had to have one. The Intensity is awkward, weird, and ugly… all reasons I needed to put it in my vagina. Besides, anything with the astronomical price tag of $250 needs to be thoroughly investigated. As someone said to me on Twitter, “Does it make your coffee?” To which I replied, “NOPE, JUST SHOCKS YOUR VAGINA.”

Because yes, the Intensity is actually an electrostim toy. They’re not marketing it as a BDSM device, of course, but that’s essentially what it is. It features two silver electrodes, one on each side of its shaft, that emit electric currents. At a certain level, these currents induce vaginal contractions.

In life, the Intensity does not look nearly as polished as it does in the computer-rendered publicity photos; it has seams, and the silicone surrounding the electrodes is iffy. It also does not come with the 4 AAAs required to run the thing, which is just ridiculous for a $250 toy (but so is the fact that it’s not rechargeable). It comes with a 2-ounce tube of electrode gel, which proudly proclaims itself “salt-free”… in case you keep a pet slug in your vagina.

The manual instructs, “apply a reasonable amount of water based lubricant to the tip of the insertable portion of the device.” Yeah, be reasonable about it! Don’t go all haywire! But when applying the electrode gel, use a “moderate amount.” God, this is hard.

And you’d think that for $250 you wouldn’t have to manually inflate this toy, but you’d be wrong. That’s why the base is so goddamn huge. You have to squeeze it until the shaft reaches the girth of your liking. It begins at 1.4″ in diameter and inflates up to 2″ or so, which takes 20 exhausting squeezes. Also, you’re supposed to inflate it “to desired comfort” before turning it on. There is a very particular order of things. And you aren’t supposed to remove the toy while the electrostim is going, which makes me paranoid about burning my vaginal walls or something.

After all of the manual-memorizing and goo application, though, it’s not difficult to operate. It has 5 vibration intensities and 10 electro levels, all controlled separately.

I’ve never experienced electrostimulation before, which perhaps makes me ill-equipped to handle internal electro-stim. Still, I think I did pretty well. I was able to conquer the 10 settings in just a few sessions with the Intensity. But I did it for bragging rights, not because it was pleasurable.

The electrostim starts out as a tingling sensation, but it turns into a weird pulse that, as promised, makes my vaginal muscles contract involuntarily. I can just barely perceive the electrostim on level 3. It starts to feel weird and cause contractions around level 6. 8 is a little scary. 9 starts to hurt. But after I’ve made it to 10 and hung out there for a while, 8 feels way gentle, and the pulsations are barely perceptible to me at level 7.

The electric pulses are a second long, with a half-second gap between them. This may not sound slow, but it is.

And then there’s this stupid bump on the shaft, right under the clit stimulator, that is home to another motor. I want to kill this thing. It is in the worst possible spot and it fucking hurts. I’m told this is supposed to be a G-spotting bump, which does not make any goddamn sense as it rests just inside my vagina.

Actually, let’s talk about the whole G-spotting aspect of this toy, because of course that is promised in the promotional materials. The Intensity’s shaft is completely straight, and that bump is in the wrong spot entirely. I can’t thrust with this toy, and I can’t clench around it on my own — the two ways I experience G-spot stimulation. The electricity does not feel concentrated on my G-spot, and the involuntary clenching does not feel remotely the same as my own, voluntary clenching. Therefore, this is not a G-spot toy in the slightest. So stop lying.

Then there’s the three-pronged clitoral stimulator. Its vibration levels are buzzy and acceptable, but the shape is not. It pokes. It pokes my clit in surround sound. As if this toy wasn’t uncomfortable enough already.

But the key thing to realize is how damn distracting the electrostim is. I really cannot think about my clit when my vag is pulsing… pulsing… pulsing. And by the time I’m finally able to concentrate on my clit enough to have an orgasm, the orgasm feels completely out of my control. The pulses just go on their slow and merry way, doing whatevs they want to do, and my body doesn’t know how to process that amidst an orgasm.

This is perhaps the most egregious thing about the Intensity. This machine will decide how your muscles contract when you orgasm. If it is out of sync with what feels natural to you (hint: it will be), too bad. You will have to ride it out. And feel cheated at the end. Worth $250? I think not.

There are people in the wild world of the internet who claim this toy gives them “instant orgasms” that last as long as they want. How can I put this gently… um, I don’t know what these people are snorting. I seriously do not understand how this could be. Vaginal contractions are not orgasms. I just… I can’t.

I suppose the Intensity could work as BDSM device if you like the sensation of involuntary vaginal contractions. And I would almost recommend it for people who need serious kegel help, because it definitely induces kegels. But then, buried in the manual, among other warnings, is this one:

This product is intended for use as an adult novelty product only. For external use only. Any product use for medical purposes or for a use that has an adverse effect on any function of the body is prohibited.

This is a very common warning on sex toy packaging, but in this context, it is a especially ironic. Remember, although the Intensity was once a medical device, it is now a questionable sex toy manufactured by a huge company. If you want to improve your PC muscles, I recommend the archaic vag balls, which not only cost 80% less, but are under your vagina’s control.

Besides, the moment they put rabbit ears on this thing, they made it into a sex toy, therefore implying that I am supposed to enjoy using it. And I really, really don’t. I don’t know what’s worse: the upsetting electro pulses, the painful “G-spot” bump, the poketastic clitoral stimulator, or the shitty orgasms. The phrase “waste of time and money” doesn’t quite capture the essence or true absurdity of this product, so I hope these 1,300 words have.

Use code HEY10 to get 10% off the Intensity.

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Interview in XBIZ Premiere magazine!

Epiphora — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:05:38 +0000

Guys! I have news!

I was interviewed in the April issue of XBIZ Premiere, a prominent adult industry magazine, for a newish feature called “Blogger Spotlight.” Fist pump! My interviewer was XBIZ Associate Managing Editor and badass Ariana Rodriguez, who asked me how my blog got on its feet, what I write about, my relationship with my readers, the value of sex toy reviews (I HAVE MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS), and what it takes to be a good blogger.

The magazine can be accessed in its digital form — click “view current issue online” to digitally turn its pages, or click here to go straight to a PDF version (be warned; it’s big!). The interview is on page 121. Here’s what it looks like in the magazine, but since you know how I feel about white text on a black background, scroll down for a copy of the full text — including links to the stuff I discuss!

Expand for full interview

Meticulous Mentor

Hey Epiphora Offers Thorough, ‘Relentlessly Honest’ Sex Toy Reviews

By Ariana Rodriguez

A self-proclaimed “sex toy encyclopedia,” Hey Epiphora began reviewing sex toys in 2007 for an online sex toy shop before launching her own platform to unleash her own “snarky, ridiculously truthful thoughts on sex toys” in 2008. HeyEpiphora.com has since blossomed into a trusted source for consumers looking for comprehensive product recommendations and commentary on modern-day cultural views on sex and its icons. She was even quoted in sex educator/author/adult filmmaker Tristan Taormino’s book, The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation. In the latest edition of Blogger Spotlight, XBIZ highlights the personality and dedication behind HeyEpiphora.com.

When did you launch Hey Epiphora?

Fall of 2008. I didn’t have any grand dreams for it, which I think is an asset when launching a blog into the abyss! At the time, there weren’t many blogs focused solely on sex toy reviews, which is what I wanted to do. Without much of a model to go by, I just made up my own. I wrote because I loved it. And slowly, it grew. I gained readers, I honed my reviews, and my rabid opinions became trusted. Now, I’m looking toward a long future with my blog, and I’m always brainstorming ways to make it more entertaining and more user-friendly.

Describe Hey Epiphora. What info do you share with readers?

I’m known for my sex toy reviews, which are straightforward, snarky, and relentlessly honest — not coy, not sultry, and not sugar-coated in any way. Many readers have told me that I have never steered them wrong on toys, and I take great pride in that.

I always enjoy spotlighting horrifying sex toys, like a disembodied rubber finger and a vibrating jelly “rope” with an internal spine. I also write about current events that amuse or irritate me, like the recent Nightline segment on James Deen. And I keep a “Jack-Off Journal,” a comical summation of my more memorable masturbation sessions — like the night I timed my orgasm for the exact moment the kitchen timer went off, signaling finished corn dogs. Still proud of that one.

Oh, and I run giveaways! I recently wrapped up a giveaway for a custom dildo with the winner’s choice of small items embedded in the silicone.

How would you describe your relationship with your readers? Do you communicate with them?

Yes, they are amazing! Many of them are my friends. I’m on Twitter constantly, and readers always email me with questions. Rest assured that if you ask my opinion on something, I’ll give it to you. In spades.

What is your motivation behind reviewing sex toys?

Consumers need direction when it comes to sex toys. There are so many toys out there, and so many made of disgusting materials. Folks need to be convinced of the importance of splurging on their sex toys; they’re used to spending $15 for a vibrator that breaks within months. Conversely, they need to know if a high-end toy is overpriced or doesn’t work as advertised. In short, they need — and deserve — the truth. And I believe in the importance of giving it to them.

Unlike when I started, there is no shortage of sex toy reviews on the internet these days. Now the tricky part is wading through all the bland and/or promo-ridden reviews to find genuine opinions. I try to write my reviews so that readers never finish one and wonder how I felt about a toy. It’s not my job to make everything sound worthwhile. I’m a reviewer, not a company rep (although I’ve been told I should be on njoy’s payroll for all my gushing about the Pure Wand).

Manufacturers can easily get a feel for their brand reputation by browsing sex toy reviews, and they’d be smart to do so. I’ve seen a lot of sex toys, and I can tell you what makes toys stand out — in both good and bad ways. I really appreciate the companies like Tantus that take the time to interact with bloggers and improve their products based on our feedback.

What do you think it takes to be a good blogger (as far as skills, experience, knowledge)?

A love for writing and a unique writing style. An angle. Time. Knowledge. Honesty. An eye for design. WordPress skillz. An intense hatred for embedded audio. And, of course, persistence.

Thanks again, Ariana and XBIZ, for featuring me! I’m really honored!

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A few changes around here

Epiphora — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 10:30:09 +0000

[APRIL FOOL'S! Take none of this seriously! My past April Fool's jokes
have been pretty blatant, so I went with a more subtle approach this time.]

Don’t crucify me, peeps, but I’m starting to get burnt out on reviewing sex toys. I know, I know! Of course, I’m too obsessed with sex toys to ever completely stop writing about them. But I feel like I need to change things up a little around here so I can keep my sanity. You’ll still read, won’t you? I’ll still bring my trademark snark; I’ll just be broadening my reviewing horizons a bit.

For example, there are a lot of innovative and groundbreaking sex products that I’ve overlooked in the past for judgmental reasons, and I think they deserve a fair shake. So in the coming weeks, keep your eyes peeled for in-depth reviews of the RhinoStep, Gloryhole, Triple Extreme Male Strengthener, Cum Cloth, and Bipartisan Bunny.

Also, ebooks! I’ve come to realize the great value of ebooks to reviewers. I’m already halfway through the fabulous Wife 2 Mistress, and I have another book about sexual development for men all queued up on my Kindle. If you have an ebook you’d like me to review, don’t even ask me if I’m interested — simply email it to me and I’d be happy to make time in my schedule to read and critique it.

I’ll also be reviewing some porn made by Khan Tusion, which should be fun. All the enlightening and articulate comments I’ve received from men on my post about Khan Tusion have shown me how wrong I was in my previous assumptions, and I want to make up for that with copious reviews of his revolutionary work.

Aside from reviewing new and different stuff, I will now be accepting paid posts. Approximately 50% of my posts will be written by the gracious people who always email me offering to supply me with engaging content. I trust that they are correct when they tell me that my readers will appreciate what they have to say. It’s a win-win situation, really: I make extra cash and my readers get quality info written by stand-up people.

Last but not least, I plan to accept link exchanges and banner exchanges from anyone who asks me nicely. I will also be joining and promoting any affiliate program that is offered to me, because a lot of them sound pretty promising. I hope to start generating money the moment I place their links and ads on my site.

As a result of these changes, the space for actual posts on my blog will need to become smaller — probably around 200 pixels wide to make room for the sidebar ads and links. Don’t worry, the posts will still be legible when copy/pasted into Word.

I hope you’re as excited about these changes as I am!

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Review: Décor Wedge

Epiphora — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 20:54:57 +0000

It’s hard to describe Liberator shapes to people. The word “shape” doesn’t exactly evoke much, so sometimes you have to resort to, “um, it’s like a really awesome pillow.” Which results in the side eye, because who’s going to pay a bunch of money for a pillow?

But I’ve owned my original Liberator Wedge for years now, and it has yet to be usurped as my favorite Liberator shape. It just works, unlike some other weird and wobbly devices Liberator has invented. Could a stylish re-imagining of the Wedge — the Décor Wedge — give the original a run for its money?

Like the Décor Fascinator Throe I recently acquired, the Décor Wedge is a product of Liberator’s “Home Collection.” As such, it has scalloped edges, decorative piping, and comes in special colors that are meant to “seamlessly blend into your bedroom décor” (because you know I am all about interior design). The Décor Wedge costs $69 (insert unnecessary joke here), weighs 2 pounds and comes with a 1-year warranty.

Like all Liberator shapes, this Wedge’s core is made of furniture-grade polyurethane foam. Its cover is lined on the inside with a polyester, water-resistant liner, and the cover zips off for machine washing. Unlike most other shapes, though, the outside of the Décor Wedge is covered in velvish, a suede-like material which does not feel as cushy as the original Wedge’s microfiber.

The Décor Wedge is 15″ wide, 13.5″ in diameter, and 7.5″ high. With these dimensions, it is one of the tallest Wedge-like shapes, but one of the least wide — comparable to the Jaz Mini in width and 4″ shorter than the small size of the original Wedge.

I know. So many terrible, terrible numbers. But it’s important to examine them, because those numbers determine how much you will feel like a pretzel when using the thing, and whether your ass is comfortable or whether it bulges off the sides. I’m about 35″ around at the widest part of my ass, and I just fit on the Décor Wedge… but anyone bigger than that would begin to spill over the sides.

Since I fit on it, the Décor Wedge is wonderful because it is so compact, and it has a pretty intense angle to it. It makes missionary easier for both me and my boyfriend, and the angle results in excellent G-spot stimulation. It’s also perfect for getting a boost during oral.

The foam core is fairly rigid, but that’s why it works so well. An angle like this would take at least five regular pillows to achieve; yes, seriously, I did a test while my boyfriend watched. Just imagine me telling him “remember the position of my vulva” while shuffling out the Wedge for a pile of pillows. The pillows pancaked like crazy.

Since the Décor Wedge is not very wide, it is not good for spooning position. My original Wedge is the 24″ wide one, and those extra inches offer much more support for my boyfriend’s side. With the extra elevation, he’s able to thrust more easily. Since spooning is one of our favorite positions, I’m inclined to say I prefer the original Wedge. But the Décor Wedge is slightly better for missionary, and its smallness is appealing for trips and ~romantic getaways~.

Because they are devious and/or genius, Liberator has gone hog wild with their shapes, creating tons that function similarly to the Wedge. So if the Décor Wedge’s scalloped shape does not appeal to you (what do you have against giant clams?!) or its size/color/material is off, you have many other options…

Original Wedge — $85, microfiber, 24″ wide, 14″ diameter of 14″, 7″ high.
Décor Arche Wedge — $60, velvish, 24″ wide, 12″ diameter, 6″ high.
Décor Heart Wedge — $60, velvish, 19″ wide, 13″ diameter, 7″ high.
Jaz Mini — $40, microsuede, 15″ wide, 13″ diameter, 6″ high.
Axis — $119, microfiber (but comes in premium fabric colors too), 20″ wide, 20″ diameter, tapers down to 10″ x 7″ high. (There’s also the Axis Hitachi if you want your Hitachi to join the party).
Kiss Wedge — $45, faux leather, 18.5″ wide, 12.5″ diameter, 7″ high.
And last but NOT LEAST, Mustache Ride — $59, faux leather, 24″ wide, 12″ diameter, 7″ high.

The options are staggering, but let your instincts guide you. Start with width — maybe lay a measuring tape on the floor to simulate the width of a shape, and go from there. Choose the height depending on how stiff your bed is and how elevated you want to be. Then you can peruse the various color, material, and shape options. And if that mustache is calling to you, by all means, GO FOR IT. Any of these shapes will be better than a pile of pillows. Besides, do you really want to be squirting on the guest room pillows? No, I would hope not.

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