People, we must act quickly. This free Rainforest Alliance sticker can only mean one thing: Rainforests worldwide have joined into a powerful federation and they’re out to get us! Gone are the days of liberally razing any timber in our paths. Instead, we now need to keep a vigilant watch for any tenacious trees bent on revenge. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been attacked by a tree or two in my days and it’s no fun!

I’m officially baffled by all the free tobacco products recently. In the past two years, there weren’t more than four tobacco freebies. If you include this free General Snus chewing tobacco, we’ve had four additional offers in the past two weeks. The harms of tobacco are well documented, but we’re all adults here. If this offer appeals to you, rock on and enjoy.

The full sample pack includes Dry Mini Mint, Wintergreen Portion, White Portion and Original Portion. The signup form couldn’t confirm my age, but unlike other tobacco freebies, they provide a short .pdf form to download, fill out, and mail to them. They will then mail the freebie pack to you, but it’ll probably take an extra week or two this way.

Here’s a list of the current Facebook Freebie offers I could find. And as always, if you’re not already a fan of Hey, It’s Free on Facebook, then what are you waiting for?

Clarins: Become a fan of theirs before November 8, because that’s the cutoff date for receiving the mystery Clarins freebie on Nov. 9.

Outback Steakhouse: If you’re one of the first 500,000 people to become a fan, you get a coupon for a free Bloomin’ Onion with the purchase of an entree. They’re only at 70,000 fans right now, so something tells me all of use will get the coupon.

Papa John’s Pizza: Become a fan and get a free medium cheese pizza with a minimum online order of $10. Offer expires on Nov. 9 and if you don’t want to become a fan of theirs, here’s a sneaky way to simply have the coupon e-mailed to you.

USA Weekend: I don’t normally post contests (but will soon! *hint hint*), however USA Weekend magazine is holding a contest to give away one free Epiphone Les Paul Special II Gibson guitar autographed by Lady Antebellum. All you have to do is become a fan of them on Facebook and currently, there are only 2,000 fans! If all 8,500+ Facebook Hiffers joined in on this contest, chances are one of us would win. You must become a fan by Friday, Nov. 13, at 9 a.m. and official rules can be found here.

Kroger has a new free Caress Evenly Gorgeous Exfoliating body wash offer available and … blarg! I just typed up this entire post before realizing that I made the exact same jokes back in March when I first published this freebie. How long is the average Hiffers memory? If it’s anything like mine, it’s around nine minutes. Wait a minute … now I’m starting to think that I probably could have gotten away with it without anybody noticing. Double blarg!

Applebee’s – Applebee’s is offering free meals all day long! Well, the offer is all day long, I doubt they’ll let you actually eat meal after meal throughout the entire day. But heck, why not try?!

Golden Gorral – A ginormous video staring Gary Sinise pops up on this page, which makes perfect sense. When I think of Veterans Day and Golden Corral, I obviously complete the trifecta with thoughts of Gary Sinise. Anyway, GC is giving away a free military appreciation thank you dinner on Monday, Nov. 16 from 5-9pm.

Krispy Kreme – All veterans and active military personnel can get a free doughnut of any variety, including glazed, kreme filled, and chocolate cake. Whoa, whoa, whoa – chocolate cake doughnuts? Wouldn’t that simply be a slice of chocolate cake? Somebody at Krispy Kreme Laboratories needs to stop slacking off and come up with better ideas.

McCormick and Schmicks – They’re hosting a special dinner on Sunday, Nov. 8 and space is limited. There’s a reservation form at the bottom of their page, so RSVP today if you want to attend! Parties cannot be larger than 6 though.

*NEW* Outback Steakhouse – All veterans and active duty military get a free Bloomin’ Onion and beverage.

Sam’s Club – Over 25,000 Hugo canes will be given away free of charge to United States military veterans in need of mobility assistance. Sam’s Club membership is not required, but supplies are limited so you may want to call your local store before heading there.

Uno Chicago Grill – They’re offering a free entree or individual pizza with an entree or pizza purchase of equal or greater value. A BOGO isn’t the best offer on this list, but at least you can feed the entire family for half the price.

U.S. Department of Interior – All of the areas managed by the DOI is offering free admission to any and everyone on Veterans Day. This includes all national parks, forests, and monuments.

Those are all of the national freebies I could find for Veterans Day, however there are a ton of local offers available in a few dozen states. Military Avenues seems to have the best collection of them, so be sure to check them out! And by all means, if you know of a nationwide freebie I missed, please let us know about it in the comments!

The third and final round for Kodak’s free $15 gift code started yesterday and will be available to the first 100,000 people to sign up. Unfortunately, the discount doesn’t apply to shipping and you can’t receive another free $15 if you got one during the first two rounds. However, a slew of new readers have discovered HIF recently and many Hiffers commented on the last post and mentioned that they got some great items for little more than the cost of shipping, including a family photo book, Christmas ornaments and photo cards, and personalized coffee mugs.

I finally settled on what to get my mom as a gift, but since she reads HIF, I can’t say what it is. Okay, fine, I’ll tell you *lowers voice to a whisper* it’s the coffee mug!

Wait, whispering doesn’t work over the Internet, does it?

Here’s a printable coupon for a free Sun-Rype FruitSource bar at your local GNC store. Am I the only person who feel awkward in GNC? Looking at all the vitamins and herbs I’ve never heard of reminds me of talking to a mechanic. I end up nodding politely and paying $500 for a case of ginseng or a new flux capacitor.

Hopefully none of the fake animals you have to slay in the game feel pain. I once killed a fish and spent weeks crying about it. He could have been Nemo! Well, not really, it was a bass fish … but maybe it was Nemo’s cousin or something!

It’s a new month which means there’s a new Aerie in-store freebie available every Thursday. This month they’re offering a free signature scent that retails for $12.50. As the image above shows, they have a wide variety of scents available. I’m personally having trouble deciding between “flirty” and “pretty.” Which do you think will help the most with the ladies?

You have to be a member of their A-lister club, however you can join on-line or in-store for free and get your freebie the same day! You may want to call ahead and make sure your local store has some left in supply before heading out.

If you wear orange to your local Whataburger between 5-8pm on Tuesday, November 10, then you can get a free burger. I’ve never eaten at a Whataburger, but I have started an impromptu rap session by using only parts of their name. “Whataburger, whataburger, burger what what?!”

I now eagerly await my much deserved Grammy.

EDIT: They’ve replaced the signup form with a “coming soon” sign, so I guess this is dead … but coming back soon?

A few eagle-eyed Hiffers¹ pointed out that in addition to the free poster I wrote about earlier, there’s a free Kraken Rum book available. Hopefully it’s not as sparse as the preview on-line, but either way, it looks cool and I’ll happily stick it upon my shelf no matter what.

One of these days I’ll be able to put my own book right beside it! The only problem is that I haven’t quite gotten around to finishing it. So far, all I’ve written is, “It was a dark and stormy night. They lived happily ever after.” Now I just need some filler for the middle and it’s off to the New York Times Best Sellers list!

1. Whether or not they have actual eagle eyes has not been confirmed.

These free Avery shipping labels are probably just that, shipping labels, instead of the more useful return address labels. Regardless, I signed up for them with my home address and will probably end up sending myself something in the mail. Oh, I know, I’ll send a time capsule!

What would future Goob most likely want? Probably the same things present Goob enjoys: Hello Kitty pajamas, Sponge Bob plush dolls, and a comfy Dora the Explorer blanket. Wait, did I just type what I was thinking in my head? Crap, I really wish my delete key wasn’t broken…

EDIT: The nine zeros trick isn’t working, but you can instead use any random nine numbers.

EDIT #2: Now they’re out of samples.

The free Clorox disinfecting wipes from Sam’s Club that we posted last month is now back from the dead. You have to enter a club membership number, but you can simply put in nine zeros (000000000) and the form will submit.

An alternate option is to get two dogs who don’t listen to a word you say and who eat / lick anything you spill on the ground within 0.002 seconds. I tried asking them what part of no they don’t understand, but their response was to start licking my feet.

Who exactly are these free Kirkland Supreme Diapers from Costco for? Bigfoot? Look at the photo up there; I’m pretty sure that entire family could climb into one of these.

EDIT: Holy moly, the site finally seems to be going at normal speed now!

The website for this free $50 in Tylenol coupons has been bogged down since noon yesterday, which doesn’t bode well for what will happen once I hit the “publish” button. However, $50 in coupons is nothing to scoff at, so I thought I should post this and people could try to load it whenever they have a spare minute or ninety.

The site is an on-line calendar and they’ll release new coupons over the next three months. I had trouble getting any coupons to load, but Deal Seeking Mom is reporting that the current printable coupons available are:

• $1/1 Children’s Tylenol, Children’s Tylenol Plus Cold, or Infant Drops
• $1/1 Tylenol 8-Hour Product
• $1/1 Tylenol Cold, Allergy, or Sinus Product
• $1/1 Tylenol Extra Strength or Arthritis Pain Product
• $2/1 Tylenol PM Product

If you manage to print them, congratulations, you are better at my job than me. Stop by my house and I’ll hand over the keys to HIF.

[via Kerry & Lisa - thanks!]

If you’re having trouble finding it, click on “stand for your brand,” then “make it count,” before finally selecting a cause to support. The litter device offer will then be displayed.

I know I’ve posted this free pet window decal before because it’s currently next to my front door, yet I can’t find the old post for the life of me. I’d make for a horrible detective. We probably only need one decal at any rate. The last thing I want is for firefighters to think I’ve got twenty dogs hiding in the house since I’ve got 10 decals plastered on the windows.