Hidden City

Deck chairs

2008-07-24T22:53:00.002-04:00

Never mind the icebergs, move the chairs into smaller groups, will you?

I've done a bit of site maintenance — I almost said "back-end maintenance," but I know how you people think — so there may be some oddities cropping up. Let me know if you find anything out of the ordinary, won't you?
After long consideration and some discussion with my doctor, I am going to modify my routine of medications. We'll see if that unclogs the pipes, or kills me. At this point either is fine.
Looking for a funky new ring, as a present to you or to someone else? Allow me to recommend Dave Sheely Designs. He's a friend, but he is also an artist, and his rings are very cool. (So are his tikis!)
Yes, I saw The Dark Knight, and yes, I thought it was very cool, and yes, Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was rather scary. I am sure none of that surprises you at all. Of course, the Watchmen teaser blew me away, too. (God I hope that movie doesn't suck.) But I haven't gone to see the new Indiana Jones movie. For some reason I just haven't been able to get excited about it at all.
I will take an opportunity here to pimp (yet again) my other, yet-more-ADHD site, Curiosities. I can't guarantee you'll find anything of value there, either, but it is at least faster.

That's enough for now.

Return from Brown Rock

2008-07-22T16:46:00.003-04:00

A stereotypical but surprisingly uncommon vista, as it turns out.

I survived the "dry heat" of Arizona, and am now attempting to survive the return to Miami and the day job. I enjoyed my visit quite a bit, and wish it had been longer. Long weekends with three-hour time changes, it seems, are not very efficient.

Ideas in motion

2008-07-18T07:09:00.002-04:00

Your humble author on-stage in Orlando

Technically, of course, you aren't the "voice of God" if people can see you. In that regard you might say my job last week didn't work out exact;y as planned, as evidenced by the screen capture above (provided by Fanless of Fanless.com). On arriving at the venue I was rather matter-of-factly informed that the director had decided that for part of the show — the majority of it, actually — I was to be on-stage. It's a damned good thing I brought my suit, that's all I can say.

It went well, or well enough, anyway. Undoubtedly due to the overwhelming support vibes sent my way by you, my loyal readers and friends, I didn't have even an iota of stage fright. There was an awkward moment at first, when the unrehearsed blocking was discovered to prevent me from seeing what was happening behind me, leaving me without a visual cue for going ahead. But that was quickly resolved, and the rest of the show went without incident.

With that event behind me, my Year of Motion continues with a trip to Phoenix. Yes, in a few hours I am going to board a plane for a location even hotter than Miami, where the high today is expected to be 112°F. Assuming I do not spontaneously burst into flames, you will hear from me again soon.

The Voice of God

2008-07-10T00:10:00.000-04:00

Tonight I'll be doing something very interesting, and something I haven't done before — providing the Voice of God (aka unseen announcer duties) for a televised event. It isn't my first time behind a microphone, but my previous experience was hosting events for 800 co-workers, not voicing a tuxedoed state-wide gala, so there is a noticeable increase in pressure.

But here's the frustrating part. As much as I would like to do so, I can't write about exactly what I'm doing, or where, or for what event. My employer prefers that I not reference them in any way on-line; therefore, while I can speak in general terms about work-related activities, I can't mention anything that might positively connect me with them. I guess they are ashamed of me, I don't know.

Anyway, even if I mentioned the specifics I doubt any of you would watch it — hell, I doubt I would if I didn't have to spend two hours saying "From Double-Wide City in Traylor County, Miss Lily White!". Nonetheless, should you happen to think about it around 6:30 tonight, spare a kind thought for me. I can use the psychic boost.

After all, who knows? Maybe I can parlay this into a new career. I'm about due for a mid-life crisis, right?

You break it, you buy it

2008-07-04T12:10:00.003-04:00

I'm still struggling with my medication-related issues, but that may change in a couple of weeks. However, my current inability to put words in the right order with any regularity has not kept me from trolling the Internet. For those among you who might find education of entertainment from some of the same weirdnesses as your humble author, I've set up a Curiosity Shop. Therein you will find quotes, links, photos, videos — pretty much anything I come across that strikes a slightly dissonant chord on the honky-tonk piano I call a brain.

Les bons temps

2008-06-25T13:01:00.004-04:00

Sunset in New Orleans

I can't take two lousy days off without going through hell when I get back to the office. But I did indeed return, and I've been trying to carve out a tale for you from my experiences there, but that isn't as easy as it used to be. Here's the short version: I had a great time, met some terrific people, and loved the city.

I'll be back soon. Well, to here, and to New Orleans.

Auto-da-fé

2008-06-13T13:00:00.002-04:00

Breakfast of champions

A few months ago on the advice of my doctor I began taking medication to alleviate some of the stress in my life. It's been suggested for me for years, but while I don't distrust doctors, I do have a certain mistrust for medication that affects my brain chemistry. After all, it can be argued that all we are is a complex series of neurochemical reactions. If we start adjusting those chemical balances we effectively lose our quasi-objective perspective, making it more difficult to state with any certainty the benefits or consequences of the changes.

So we are supposed to allow this fine-tuning of our psyches only under the supervision of a trained professional, someone with our best interests at heart who will keep the change from going in an undesired direction. But with the current state of the health care system this becomes a bigger act of faith than ever before. I have spent less than an hour face to face with my doctor during our entire relationship. Somehow, though, I am supposed to trust him not to allow me to slip into a bad place.

This is further complicated by my own quirks. My doctor is undoubtedly skilled in medicating people into a blissful state of happiness, reshaping me into a perfectly ordinary, middle-aged, middle-class white American consumer. Frankly, I would rather be stressed out and miserable and lose years from my life than to become that person. But with the start of this treatment I am forced to put myself into his hands, and hope he took my concerns to heart. I am not very good at this kind of trust.

Fortunately, I have friends who look out for me, and will let me know if I slip too far from my established character. There are unpleasant signs, already. It's true that I have fewer heart palpitations, and I am more relaxed that usual. But I've also lost most of my drive for writing, or really creating of any sort. I spend my free time reading, or watching DVDs, or going out for drinks after work, but I just can't find the energy or concentration needed to write, beyond what I must do to keep a roof over my cats' heads. I have already been taken to task for allowing Hidden City to go so long without an update, and I have written literally dozens of drafts. Writing this essay is taking an enormous effort of will, and is actually pushing me toward a wholly irrational anxiety attack. But I will complete it before I get on the plane.

Yes, another plane. I am trying to break out of my routines by doing some more fiscally-irresponsible traveling, this time to New Orleans. I am going to meet some new people, and — with luck — to reset my internal calibration. I hope some new experiences and habit-smashing will let me forge some new and stress-free neural pathways, and maybe to reduce that handful of pills by a bit.

It's just another act of faith.

Sticky situation

2008-05-14T01:41:00.001-04:00

Seattle has an odd landmark: the Wall of Gum near the famous Market. Stranger still is that it seems it is not the original, but rather a copycat of Bubble Gum Alley in San Luis Obispo. Competing walls where people stick their used chewing gum? There must be some sort of odd symbolism there.

And yes, this is a bit of time-marking while I work on another project.

Corner to corner

2008-05-06T08:02:00.002-04:00

Seattle's Space Needle

As those of you who follow me on Twitter or Flickr know, I just returned from a few days in Seattle. I chose not to mention it in advance here for a few reasons, most of which are purely irrational and superstitious. However, now that I am back, I plan on endlessly boring you with tales of the Sunless City (which was, actually, bright and sunny for almost my entire visit).

In advance I want to thank my hosts, Mary, Dave, and Sofa for their generosity and hospitality, and new Seattle-based Yelp friends Matt, Megan, and Lee-Bay for making it a memorable trip. I could probably have done it without you, but it wouldn't have been as much fun.

Technical weirdness

2008-05-06T01:56:00.002-04:00

I'm not certain exactly why, but for some reason my web host decided to replace the most recent home page with the version from a couple of weeks ago, before the redesign. This isn't the first time they've done something like this, but I can never get a good explanation as to what has gone wrong.

It's particularly annoying when it happens while I'm returning from an out of town vacation. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Gratitude

2008-05-05T23:53:00.001-04:00

Thank you to those of you who voted for Directions for the SFDB Post of the Month. I am a little bit amazed that I won, given the competition, but it is gratifying to know that my modest effort was appreciated. If you are new to reading Hidden City, having been directed here via links from SFDB and my fellow nominees, I hope you'll continue to visit. I'll do my best to keep entertaining you.

The company you keep

2008-05-01T14:33:00.004-04:00

Oddly enough, I've been nominated for the South Florida Daily Blog Post of the Month for April. Not me specifically, I suppose, but my story Directions. Anyway, the final selection is determined by the readership's votes, so if you haven't already done so, you should go and check out the nominations. Voting ends at 10pm Friday night.

Frankly, all of the nominations are good (he says, somewhat immodestly). Balou of Searching for Normalcy — and one of my best friends since I first met her — wrote a great tribute to the Rascal House on the occasion of its closing. The very funny and cynical Man or Maniac serves up some additional options for the Florida legislature to consider, if they are going to make a Christian license plate. And my beautiful and brilliant friend Tere offers up a piece on the trials of balancing motherhood and professional life (which she does marvelously, I might add). Oh, and then there's my story about asking for directions.

Honestly, all of my competitors are deserving of the title, as I always enjoy reading their sites. But hey, if you feel compelled to vote for my modest effort, please feel free to do so.

Redemption

2008-04-29T00:08:00.003-04:00

Some time ago I wrote a story called Belief, about my long-ago love of a woman named Holly. It now has a sequel: Redemption. I hope you enjoy it.

The nature of my game

2008-04-28T13:44:00.000-04:00

So this is Hidden City 3.0, more or less. There was the pre-blog version from October 1999 until July 2000, the original version using proto-Blogger until August 2005, the 2.0 version created during Hurricane Wilma, and now this. And through it all there has remained one unanswered question. Why does it exist?

That question will remain unanswered until I figure it out. So it goes, so it goes.

But before you run off, allow me to show you around a bit. On the right you'll see some categories. Click the name and you'll get more choices. Of primary interest (I imagine) are Writing and Dreams. The former pulls out some of the best-received stories from the archives; if you want to get a taste of what you'll find here, that's the place to start. As for the latter, yes, those are all real dreams of mine. Let's just say the inside of my skull can be an interesting place to live.

I have reports from some people that the navigation is behaving oddly. If so, would you do me the kindness of leaving a comment to that effect? I'd like to track down any remaining bugs before the cement hardens.

New suit

2008-04-27T00:19:00.000-04:00

When change comes into our lives, desired or not, it's natural to want to mark the occasion somehow. For some changes, there may be a public event, a party, or a wake, or just some drunken revelry. For personal moments, though, it may be a more cosmetic alteration: new clothes, new hairstyle, new jewelry, new tattoo, et cetera. For example, when I was dumped by a girl many, many long years ago — so long ago that I still lived at home — I shaved off my mustache and beard.

Sadly, these alterations are not always advisable. On seeing me clean-shaven for the first time, my mother remarked, "Good grief, what did you do to yourself? You're going to let that grow back aren't you? You've got an upper lip like a horse!"

As previously mentioned, I've been spending quite a lot of time thinking lately, really looking at my life, and where I want it to go. As a result of this introspection, some other, unforeseen changes came along; I imagine there are still more to come.

Hence my need for a change to mark this time in my life. All things considered, it's cheaper to redesign a website than to buy a sports car. We already know the shaving thing doesn't work.