Hidden Inner Feelings of Love, Ramblings and Musings

Getting Over You

2018-01-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

Like a withdrawal from drugs
Getting over you is not easy
Sleepless nights
And craving for your presence
Everytime I see lovers on the lane
I wish you're with me
Enjoying the walks with the breeze blowing
Or under one umbrella when its raining
The long drives and the overnights
While watching movies until the morning

Still missing you...
but my heart needs to get over you...

Missing You, Sweetheart

2015-05-11T14:55:00.001+08:00

Watching TV yet seems to see nothing
Listening to songs yet I can't understand
Editing and rewriting pages of documents
Reading words yet I can't comprehend
Yet still wishing you're here, instead.

It's been days, the longest time we've been apart..
I am missing you more as each day passes by
My heart longs for you, sweetheart..
More than any words can't express
Yet too afraid to ask if you do miss me, too...

I am missing our lunches "together", they're no more
The "good nights", and "i love you's" when
waking up in the morning
The calls and hearing your sleepy voice
And the random messages throughout the day

The passionate kisses we so often share
The way you make love to me
As our body and mind and soul unite
And you whispering "I love you.... Dito ka na lang mahal..."
And words and actions, everything in between...

Never Be The Same by Jessica Mauboy

2014-08-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

The lyrics below somehow express how I've been feeling these days...

Let me tell you about a girl that I used to be,

Same name same face but a different me,

She didn't know what she was thinking,

Didn't know her world was sinking.

Had her dreams written on a paper in her hand,

Held on tight but she didn't understand,

The love and heart that she's replacing,

All the past that she's erasing

We all get lost sometimes
and we forget who we are
and we forget who we are

Somewhere along the way,
we're all running in a crazy race,

Never thinking about the hearts we break,

And as our hope starts fading away
Things are never gonna be the same,

'Cause when you're standing there all alone,

Losing everything you've ever known,

You're staring at a different face
Things are never gonna be the same,

I wish that I could share a different point of view,

But the words coming out wouldn't speak the truth,

You wouldn't know what I was really thinking,

And I'd return to the girl, who's sinking

Sinking down to the world that awaits below,

And I don't want to be there anymore,

Don't wanna be there anymore,
No...

And we all get lost sometimes
and we forget who we are
and we forget who we are

Somewhere along the way, we're all running in a crazy race,

Never thinking about the hearts we break,

And as our hope starts fading away
Things are never gonna be the same,

'Cause when you're standing there all alone,

Losing everything you've ever known,

You're staring at a different face
Things are never gonna be the same,

The more you win, the more you want,

It never ends, it never stops,

Oh it's never enough,

Oh, the more you win, the more you want,

It never ends, it never stops,

Oh it's never enough,

Ohhhh

We're all running in a crazy race,

Never thinking about the hearts we break,

And as our hope starts fading away
Things are never gonna be the same,

'Cause when you're standing there all alone,

Losing everything you've ever known,

You're staring at a different face
Things are never gonna be the same,

Things are never gonna be the same,

When you're standing there all alone,

Losing everything you've ever known,

You're staring at a different face
Things are never gonna be the same,

Things are never gonna be the same,

Never gonna be the same.

Feeling Lost...

2014-03-05T16:30:00.000+08:00

Papers everywhere, piles of reports to finish
Been staring at the monitor for hours
Yet the document remains as white

Looking at the train of words,
Expecting little fingers to have a mind of their own
Yet they stayed in the same position at the keyboard
Ready yet not ready, like a robot ready to receive command

But how can the mind command, if the mind is feeling lost...
Been trying to stay strong, stay positive for days..
But like a candle that's burning
It's now getting smaller and smaller...

Once and for all...
Stop the tears from falling...
And stop feeling hurt..
Wishing this foolish heart would just stop beating..
And stop feeling lost...

How Do I Start Healing Myself?

2013-08-21T22:52:00.001+08:00

How can I start letting go of you?
When all I want is to be with you always

How do I pick-up and be myself again
When time and time again, you break me into pieces
Like a trash, you keep throwing away

Where can I find the strength to start healing myself?
When I know that forcing myself to unloved you is the only way.

Independence Day

2013-06-13T00:51:00.001+08:00

The first day I woke up with you at my side
Eyes closed, sleeping peacefully
Yet holding me close
Not letting me go

Independence day
And the night before that
The night when we first had each other
And the feeling was so right

Independence Day
A day to remember
Another day to celebrate
Among the many days

It's Another Year, Still So In Love With You

2013-06-01T00:30:00.000+08:00

It's that time again when we first said "I love you's"
And reminiscing that unexplainable feeling
Just remembering our names
Like the day is not enough
That through the night, messages kept us close

Years of us together, still in love
I can't help but wish for more
More time, more moments together
More memories to share

And as another year will come again
We'll have more reasons to celebrate
Beyond words
Still so in love

Till Then, My Love

2012-09-12T23:00:00.003+08:00

Sort of,
having that feeling of missing you
and uttering the words
or simply writing them out
is the only way to lighten it
though not totally eliminating the longing...
just making it more bearable
till you hold me in your arms again...
and your lips touches mine...

Cold, Rainy Night and Missing You

2012-07-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

It's cold. It's already late and soon, it will be morning
My senses are all still wide awake though I will them to sleep
It's the cold wind blowing from the open window
That makes me miss you more
The warmth of your body next to mine

Your hugs that warm my frail body
As if protecting me from the cold

It's been raining for days now,
The rain that never fails to give me reason
To remember and miss you for its every drop
As memories of us together increases
So as the memories of us under the rain

I am missing you sweetheart
More than I can say, more than I can show
And the more I miss you
The harder is the rain outside...

What To Do

2012-02-13T00:13:00.001+08:00

It's late yet can't fall asleep...
Her caring and loving ways
I keep on missing that person who I fell in love with..

Emptiness

2012-01-02T08:47:00.003+08:00

It's been days, I lost count
Finally, I chose to stay in solitude
Amidst the joyous celebration of the world
I seek to feel emptiness
And not to feel anything at all

I need to keep my sanity
Stronger than before, like it's always been
The uncontrollable thoughts that's been lurking
I need more time, count a thousand times more
So as not to feel regrets after

Wish I can just lie for hours
With you by my side
Be warmed and comforted in the safety of your arms
Yet, even these thoughts are not comforting
'Coz even though the heart longs so much for these
The mind contradicts and rationalize

Your smiles are not for me
Your arms warm and comfort someone else
Your lips are not mine to kiss
Your love is not mine alone
It's breaking my heart into pieces

Emptiness
I need to feel that emptiness
Renew strength to keep smiling, hoping
That tomorrow, it will be different
That I'll be the only one
And uncertainties all gone..

Or that I'll find the strength
To let go...

Copyright ©AV 2012 All Rights Reserved

Morning Thoughts

2011-12-26T08:55:00.006+08:00

As I woke up, my thoughts were of you

If we're together right now, will I still miss you this much?
Will the loving feelings,
the yearning at no particular time of the day,
the feeling to be kissed and hugged continue
and last long for years until our last breath?

I closed my eyes again,
wanted to go back to sleep so as not to think of you
and stop wishing for you to be here by my side...
Wish I can kiss your soft lips right now...
And feel your warm body next to mine...

Missing you badly, my love..

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Some Hugs, Please

2011-12-21T09:20:00.003+08:00

My friend, my love
It's that time
When I really want you beside me
Eyes closed, in silence warmed by you
A hug will do a great difference...

Wish a genie will appear
Or that time will fly fast
To decades ahead of us
Or that I have the power to change
The course of time to decades before us

Some hugs please, love?
Hm... that feels comforting
Even in silence of disturb thoughts
With you around, I know
I won't be alone

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

i hate missing you

2011-12-14T14:08:00.004+08:00

... and i do miss you right now
and i hate this feeling
coz everything's not so right

won't you miss me as much,
or more my sweetheart?..

hope, it will be soon...
coz days without your presence, my love
are without life...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Sunny Afternoon

2011-09-14T16:41:00.004+08:00

A lazy afternoon and my thoughts drift to you
Like the day without clouds
I still hear you giggling like a child
As we laugh at the naughtiness in the air

Like always, I am missing you
When happy thoughts are here like today
Or when lonely thoughts are there like some other times
For every moment, wishing I could share them with you

But more than that, I long for you
To share more of yourself with me
Not only during sunny days or rainy days
But for every second of every day

Be a complete part of each other
Intertwined and in harmony
Like the sunny afternoon
That is today, my love.

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Over A Cup of Coffee

2011-08-05T22:15:00.004+08:00

Over a cup of coffee, and it's late
While trying to compose my disarrayed thoughts
I can't help but think of you often
Then my fingers, like they have a mind of their own
Travel to where that thing that connects us
Waiting for your call...

It's been only days, love...
Yet, it seems like a year since the last time
So near yet so far
That's what we always are

Missing you so badly, my love
And every day that passes by
Seems like forever
I've consumed my cups of instant coffee
Yet, my thoughts are still of you...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Missing You Sweetheart

2011-07-10T18:31:00.004+08:00

We're together just awhile ago
Yet I am missing you so much already
In fact, I miss you even when we're together
I miss counting your heartbeat
And listening to your soft breathing while you're asleep
And the once in awhile movement of your arms
If only I can make time stand still then I would
So the minutes can become for lifetime
Being warmed by your body
And held so close in your loving arms

I miss you my love and I always do...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

I Love You, Sweetheart

2011-07-08T22:19:00.005+08:00

I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else.

'I love you' means that I do not expect perfection from you just as you do not expect it from me.

'I love you' means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times.

'I love you' means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do things I want to do.

'I love you' means that I can be a friend you can always rely on, to listen when you need to talk.

'I love you' means loving you when you're down not just when you're fun to be with

'I love you' means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them - asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine.

'I love you' means being the person who'll tell you when you're at fault yet still be there for you.

'I love you' means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go.

'I love you' means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me.

I love you, sweetheart, more and more each day...

Wish I Could

2011-06-27T21:17:00.003+08:00

The wounds are healing fast but I am not sure if the scars will vanish in time. Wish I could tell you right now I feel sore all over but then that would be spoiling your long awaited vacation worrying over me. That's not lying, right, my love? I could have called you as soon as it happened but then you might have gone looking for me, would you?... I even had second thoughts if I should tell you about what happened or just let it go until you come back. But then you called.

One day, I'll be able to tell you in detail what really happened including what was I thinking at that moment. Then, you might say I am foolish, I should have thought of myself first. I should have but I didn't. There's too much to think about to add another complication to an already complicated matter.

I wish matters of the heart can be solved as easily as taking a prescriptive medicine...

Missing you and loving you so much...

"It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride..."

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Raining Again

2011-06-19T02:58:00.004+08:00

Waken up by the sound of the heavy rain, my first thoughts was of you. I remember the warmth of your body as I hold you tight. I can still feel your warm hands holding my face. Though the sounds of the vehicles were too noisy, I can only hear my heartbeat and your voice as you continued speaking. Can we just embrace each other without uttering a single word? My heart has overpowered my mind again. Is there a heart and a mind for rent or for sale like in the "Repo Men" movie? 'Cause that's the only way right now I can stop my heart and mind from longing for your presence...

It's been hours and it is still raining. Aside from my notebook, I am glad for the company it provides. Somehow, it seems you're near even just in thoughts. It will soon be morning. What's ahead is unknown. Will it rain or will it be a sunny day? Human emotions are too complicated, always a gamble, unlike the weather that can be predicted. Yet, I know I will still be loving you through the end of each day and the next day after...

I love you, sweetheart...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Breathe You

2011-06-17T07:58:00.002+08:00

Feels like the first time
It seems like the last
Here in the night time
Lost in one long caress

When I feel you beside me
And your eyes are locked into mine eye to eye
When you say that you love me
You're driving me out of my mind

Just to breathe you
Just to have you near
Here beside me
There's nothing I wouldn't do

Just to hold you
Just to know you're there
When you hold me
Can you feel the beating of my heart
Here beside you, underneath the stars
I breathe you

Gonna hold on to this moment
For as long as I could
For it never comes as often as I'd want it to
Once again feeling of disbelievin, swept away,
Wanna linger and savour, forever as long as it takes

Just to breathe you
Just to have you near
Here beside me
There's nothing I wouldn't do

Just to hold you
Just to have you near
When you hold me
Can you feel the beating of my heart?
Here beside you, underneath the stars
I breathe you

Cause you are my life
And you are my soul
You are all that ever means to me
The only thing I ever need to do
Is to breathe you

Just to breathe you
Just to have you near
Here beside me
There's nothing I wouldn't do... ohhhh

Just to hold you
Just to know you're there
When you hold me
Can you feel the beating of my heart?
Here beside you, underneath the stars
I breathe you

Breathe you

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Wanted: No Vacancy

2011-06-16T10:22:00.008+08:00

Things and events happen for a reason and accept it or not, good or bad, these allow us to know each other better, don't you think so, my love? We've seen each other's side that no else has seen. In time, hope we can talk about everything and anything else under the sun without getting into each other's sensitive nerves. That, it will just be a part of an open relationship, not ideal for some but could be perfect for us.

Have you found that person, love? That person whom you could be truly honest, no secrets kept? That person to whom you can be transparent that you'll be too vulnerable, no pride, no pretensions yet you are not lost because you know that whatever happens, she'll /he'll stay, just a word away, and ready to hold your hands? That person can only be just a friend, a lover, a companion, a confidant or can it be just one special person rolled into one?

You've been that person to me ever since you came into my life. Can you please stay to be that special person, my love?

I love you so much and missing you so badly...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Loving You Each Day

2011-06-14T04:18:00.001+08:00

Been awake for hours, listening to the silence. Waiting for the light to come out, I lie still careful not to break the silence. Like always, thoughts drift to you, my love... Ahhhh.... I miss you so much, sweetheart... The dawn allows me to be with you without disturbance even just in thoughts. I hold my breath, careful not to let the long sigh break the silence... I miss your arms around me while you are asleep. It provides me comfort and security you could never imagine. I wish to be in your arms for lifetime, loved and protected by you. .. I miss the not-so-often morning kisses we've shared. I always wish that the night will stay forever and morning will not come... But wish as hard as we want, morning comes. It's another day to live, hoping for a better today. With each morning of waking up, I love you more and more...

I miss you sincerely, my love, my special friend...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Morning Thoughts

2011-06-13T05:43:00.003+08:00

As I open my eyes, I think of my love
Is she awake?
Did she have a good night sleep?
Has thoughts for me crossed her mind?

Then, I sigh...
For I terribly miss her
And every waking moment
Without her by my side seems forever
The minutes are just too long
Till the next time I see my love again...

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved

Over Lunch, Missing My Sweetheart

2011-06-10T12:14:00.003+08:00

Missing you over lunch, my love
Missing the ringing of the phone
Missing the few minutes of hearing
your sweet, sleepy voice over the line
Missing the messages
The "I love you"s and "I miss you"s
Missing that sweet smile of yours
Missing everything about you
Over lunch, missing my sweetheart

Copyright ©AV 2011 All Rights Reserved