There is no one on this earth, no matter how rich, famous or successful who does not suffer moments where they feel that life has served them a difficult basket of trials to deal with.

However, finding the blessing in life and focusing on it rather than the negative, is the key that opens the door to contentment even when things couldn’t seem to get worse.

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Learn to recognize the abundance you have in your life right now, whilst expecting more abundance in the future.

Watch your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking I can’t afford it’ then turn it around and think How can I afford it?’ This will encourage your subconscious mind to explore possibilities of creating more wealth. If you are of the opinion that there is only so much money to go around, and if somebody is rich then there is less money available for everyone else, realize that there is enough for everyone; the law of attraction is one of unlimited supply. If more people start manifesting wealth, the universe will simply create more wealth.

Start giving without expecting to receive anything in return. I don’t necessarily mean money, although it may be an idea to set up a regular donation to a chosen charity. Be generous with your time; go out of your way to help colleagues if you can, spend some time with family teaching them a skill you have, offer to mow the grass for an elderly neighbor. Some call this tithing’, but I tend to dislike this phrase, as I feel that it has associations with paying something as an obligation (people used to be obliged to tithe a part of their income to the church or landowner whether they chose to or not!) I prefer to think of it as Paying it forwards’.

However it is important that this is done in the right way; if you are the kind of person who finds it difficult to say no’, then you will find yourself doing things with an air of resentment. This is not an abundance mindset- you need to give freely and willingly.

You will start to find that what you give makes its way back into your life; you will find that people will go out of their way to help you, money will flow to you and when you need help there will always be someone there to give you the assistance you need.

Don’t give expecting something in return, or think right, I’ve given this amount to charity, when’s more money going to arrive in my bank account?’ It doesn’t work like this- you need to give freely and without expectation of return first. I read a quote recently which sums it all up quite neatly;

There was a man, they thought him mad; the more he gave, the more he had’.

Some people feel a sense of outrage when they read of wealthy people spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a new car, or $5,000 a night on a hotel room. They feel that it is wrong to be so extravagant, especially when so many people in the world are starving. If this is you, then you are assuming that there is only a finite amount of money in the world, and that it is not possible to pay out huge sums of money on a car AND give generously to charity. The fact is, some people manage to generate these sums of money very quickly and easily, and most of the world’s richest people are also the most generous, many giving huge sums to charity each year.

If the idea of becoming rich still makes you feel uncomfortable, consider this; the more you get, the more you can give. Imagine, for example, that you earn $15,000 a year and decide to give 10% of your income to charity. This means that you would donate $1,500 each year- not a bad sum.

Now imagine you are earning $150,000 per year and still give 10%; now your yearly donation is a whopping $15,000- which sum do you think would make the most difference?

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Write on paper all the feelings you’ll have if you own this thing. Realize, if you won’t let yourself fully express even a small dream such as this on paper, how are you ever going to give yourself the true pleasures of life?

Go on! What is it? A cuddly toy? Go on, I dare you! Give it to yourself! Maybe you could even say to someone who owes you a favour or money that you want the item in repayment.

Just for a tiddly minute, drop “sensible” and play!

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Such pearls of wisdom are lost, aren’t they, unless they have some personal meaning?

Then yesterday I got upset with someone I’m very close to. I mean angry and hurt. In my heart of hearts I knew I wasn’t being rational or constructive, but in the heat of the moment it didn’t matter. I was right, darn it!

And then, as so often happens when you just release for a while, the answer fluttered in. That quote reverberated round my brain for a while, and then I asked myself, “Well, in that case, I’m either performing an act of love or a cry for help. This surely doesn’t feel loving, so what is it I want help with?”

As if by magic the pieces dropped into place. I went to this person and said, “Listen. I need your help. I need not to feel like this. I know your behaviour wasn’t intended to hurt me, so I must have made up the hurt myself. But I’m kinda playing this loop tape in my head that you didn’t put there, but once I started it, for a while, it’s all I can hear.”

We reached a loving understanding in less than ten minutes. We are closer, bigger inside and enriched.

So here’s my tip for now, for this day and for always. If there’s anyone you’re upset with, even if it’s an old upset, ask yourself, “What is it I need help with?” And then humbly and sincerely ask them for your help. Do it with your palms up and your head high, for you are bigger than your anger, and love and friendship are more important than your ego.

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It happens in the dating world all the time when you see someone who is desperate to find a partner or long term relationship. The new “prospect” immediately feels the neediness from this person and it often turns them off once and for all.

Going back to my consulting example, As I changed my approach and took the “take it or leave it” attitude where I literally separated myself from caring whether I got the deal or not, business started to flow. In fact, the less I cared about landing the deal, the easier it was to close.

This is what I call the goal striving paradox. The more you want something, the more it feels like a real need for your life. And the more you need it, the more you focus on its absence… or a sense of lack. A perpetual state of striving is really what it is.

In many cases, you may actually start feeling terrible about the goal because your happiness is now contingent on you achieving this thing… and the longer it takes, the more concerned you become.

The trick for brining your goals into reality is to remove this “striving” factor.

Instead of setting a goal with the “if… then” mentality of “If I achieve this thing… then I’ll be happy”. You set your goals from a place of detachment. If you reach the goal, great. And if not, that’s cool too.

I’m not saying you remove your desire to improve the results in your life. What I am saying is that you set your goals, and then you focus on your goals daily from the perspective of already being happy, appreciative and content with where you are today.

This is quite easy to do. Look at your life right now and take note of all the good things you have going on. It could be your happy family, supportive friends, the recent recovery from illness of a loved one, the healthy meals you are able to eat on a daily basis, your own health.

You might also want to make a list of all of your previous accomplishments. What are some things you have already achieved that you can dwell on and feel awesome about.

Staying in that zone, you can then work passionately towards your new goals. Instead of needing this goal like a pushy sales rep needs your deal, you simply focus on your new goal… It will arrive in due time to reinforce the feeling of success that you have already created in your own mind.

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