Wellness

A Tall Drink of Water

2008-10-09T05:28:00-06:00

Q: Dear Susie, I’m 6 feet 4 in my stocking feet. Most people have never seen such a tall woman, especially in F-M, and they stare at me. I hate it! What can I do?

-Zoe P.S. I adore your column.

A: I will admit up front that this will be my best column ever, and I’m totally excited about writing it.

Why, you might ask? Because I’m 6’1”, and this subject is near and dear to my heart (that, and waiting for the day that “What Not to Wear” has a tall woman on it).

There are several things I’d like to say to you, for inspiration and support.

I come from a family of tall people, all the way from 6’7” (Dad), down to a shrimpy 5’10” (one of my sisters).

I grew up thinking we were normal, and everybody else in the world just didn’t grow. I’ve even been known to tell that to rude people who comment on my height. “I’m not tall, you just didn’t grow enough.”

When I was younger, we went out to California for a convention where there were movie stars. My older sister got to meet Fess Parker (Daniel Boone). He told her how beautiful she was, and encouraged her always to stand up tall and be proud.

That story was passed down to all of us. So we were raised to be proud of our height and ourselves, to think ourselves beautiful and fabulous.

Why am I telling you that? Because I’m getting the feeling that you weren’t given that same encouragement as a little girl--that there were some feelings there like, “really beautiful women are small and dainty and petite and quiet and feminine and don’t take up too much room.”

Seriously, could you ever have fit that bill? I was 6 feet tall when I was 12, and wore size 12 clothes and size 12 shoes!

I remember one incident in particular that was strange. I was attending a national all-star basketball game in Kansas in 1979 (yes, I played basketball--sheesh), and my parents and I were at a restaurant.

We walked in, and a whole table of people just sat there and stared at me (why not at Dad? He’s taller than me). I asked Mom and Dad why I’d never encountered that before in my life.

They suggested it was because I was so striking, so I stood up, walked over to their table, smiled at them, twirled around a few times slowly, held out my arms so they could get a good long look at me, then sat down again. They just sat there with their mouths hanging open.

Did I feel badly about myself? No, I felt pretty great about my boldness, even at age 19.

Here’s the deal, Zoe: ask yourself if there’s anything you can do about being tall. Uhm, no.

Your option? To love and accept yourself exactly as you are.

Is it a fault to be tall? Heck, no. What do you have to do with it?

If you can’t change something, and it’s making your life miserable, maybe it’s a sign that there’s something in that that you can heal. Unconditional love and acceptance of yourself, maybe?

So that’s your first task. To write up some statements that you can plaster everywhere and say continuously to yourself--let’s rewire those previous messages.

Try, “I’m fabulous just as I am. Tall is beautiful. I’m amazing and powerful and strong. I’m beautiful.” Get creative. Go for it. Pretty soon you may start believing it.

I personally have not encountered any rudeness or stares from anyone (well, maybe I have, but I just haven’t noticed) in the area, and in fact you can usually find me wearing 3 or even 4 inch heels! Do the math--that would make me 6’4” or 6’5”.

Do I care? Not on your life. I strut my stuff and hold my head high. I get a kick out of being ginormous (as my kids say). There aren’t any other options.

I always believed that people actually respected tall people more, thought they were more powerful (point in fact: the majority of US presidents have all been taller than average, and taller people make more money on average than shorter people).

When I was 12, and gigantic, people did stare at me.

I didn’t know if they were staring at me because I was so tall, or because they thought I was fat, or because they thought I was ugly, so I did something about the two things I could control. I made sure I was slim, and gussied myself up as best I could.

Now I know that if people stare, it’s just because I’m tall, not because of anything else.

Here’s the deal: it’s all a matter of perspective. To somebody 7 feet tall, you’re a shrimp. To somebody 5 feet tall, you’re an Amazon. If somebody has dark skin and you have light skin, they’ll think you’re pale, and you’ll think they’re dark. People only base judgments against who and how they are.

Do you get it? So it’s not that you’re tall; you’re just taller than those other people.

Tall is a judgmental term, which insinuates that there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just who you are.

Accept that! It’s a beautiful thing, really it is! You can reach things high on shelves, you can see great at parades and concerts, you don’t get claustrophic in crowds, you look stunning in most clothes.

Downsides to being tall? Hard to find clothes and shoes, probably (I have gorilla arms and impossibly long legs and huge feet), difficulty fitting into some seats and beds, chairs and couches, back problems from lower counters and looking down at people a lot (I call it the giraffe syndrome).

But overall, what I want to say to you is that there is no way that anyone out there can (or should be able to) make you feel badly about who you are.
It is totally up to you to have the presence that says to the world, “I love myself, and think I’m fabulous.”

It’s amazing, but how you feel about yourself is reflected back to you by others. If you think there’s something wrong with your height, others will affirm that.

Okay, some people will just stare, but heck, when you first saw the awesomeness of the Grand Canyon, you probably stared too, didn’t you? Tall people are beyond the norm, but you can understand and forgive others for being shocked and awed, and not assume they’re criticizing you.

If they are(and some do), then that’s about insecurities, and it’s not about you. Heck, they probably wish they were taller (I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that from people).

When people come up to me and say something about my height (and they do), they usually say, “Gee, you’re tall,” and I answer back, “Yes, yes, I am. I really am.”

Where’s the fight in that? Where’s the sting? Where’s the criticism? Where’s the bad feeling? I agree with them--end of story.

Why do people feel the need to comment? I don’t know. We’re sort of raised to think there’s this standard of normalcy, and if anybody goes outside of that (too short, too tall, too thin, too fat, too loud, too quiet, too light, too dark, too smart, too rich, too poor, too independent, in a wheelchair, lost limbs on and on and on) our tendency is to look at them. They’re “different.”

Yeah, so what? Everybody’s different from everybody else - no big news flash, guys. Get over it.

Zoe, you’re fabulous. I shouldn’t really need to tell you this, but I will. You’re absolutely perfect just the way you are.

If you don’t like your hair, cut it or color it or let it grow. If you don’t like your weight, lose some or gain some. If you don’t like your life, take up meditation or knitting or traveling. Take a class. Keep a journal.

Find out what makes you you, then revel in it. It’s stunning, it’s radiant. There’s nothing you have to do besides just be you.

When you accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally, you may find other people’s attitudes toward you changing. If not, well, then, just keep on being fabulous, and pity those people who will never get to know you. It’s their loss!

Location, Location, Location

2008-10-03T04:03:00-06:00

Q: Are some locations more spiritual than others? Sometimes I go to a different city and feel great; other times I feel dizzy and tired.

A: I don’t know if it’s so much a matter of a specific geographical location as much as how each person resonates with a place.

There are places that are healthier than others, so that would give them a higher frequency. Cities with large populations tend to have lower frequencies. Natural settings have, in general, high frequencies.

What does that mean, a high or low frequency? It’s not that a place is necessarily good or bad, just that it’s cleaner, purer, simpler.

The history of a region also affects its energy. A friend of mine went over to Auschwitz and said she could positively feel the overwhelming sadness and despair all around her, and she felt sick.

Think about some places you’ve been. How do you feel when you’re there? Happy, energetic? Tired, apathetic? Nervous, irritable? This is all about the interplay between you and the land.

Think of it this way: if you mix hot water and cold water, you get lukewarm. The hot gets cooled down, the cold gets warmed up.

If you’re a high frequency (hot) person and go somewhere that’s lower frequency (cold), you get affected negatively (cooled down).

The reverse is also true, which is why most people are so moved when they are in the presence of great natural beauty like the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls.

They are, in essence, getting “warmed” by the high energy of the place.

I see you as someone with a pretty high frequency, so you are probably negatively affected by traffic, air pollution, noise and confusion.

Cities that are beautiful and clean, preferably with flowers and plants, resonate more with you.

You do best out in nature, being around moving water most of all (think oceans and rivers).

Does that mean you should move if you live in a big city? Not unless you really feel led to.

Otherwise you can just be aware of your reactions and be more conscious of your surroundings. Maybe you’ll plan different vacation destinations or take your time deciding where you’d like to retire by taking into account your reactions to geographical locations.

Are different locations more spiritual than others? You can decide that for yourself.

But the bigger question still remains: how do you feel in Fargo, at the lakes, at your parents’ house, in New York?

Then try to spend as much time as possible where you feel the best. That makes sense, doesn’t it?

And that’s what it’s all about--figuring out what makes sense in your world, then making decisions based on that information.

It’s empowering and a relief to understand things a little better, don’t you think?

Does This BMW Make My Butt Look Big?

2008-09-25T10:28:00-06:00

Q: I want to be spiritual but I love shopping. I also make good money, but give a lot away. Is it possible to be spiritual and wealthy? It’s like the whole “camel through the eye of the needle” thing. I think I feel guilty for having so much.

A: You’ve just asked an age-old question. Can you have “things” and still be spiritual? I remember reading a long time ago about a religious order that only allows each member to own 200 items.

So, as a value check, every now and then I run through my possessions and make a mental list of my top 200. So what about the other 20,000 precious things in our house? It kind of makes you think twice the next time you see something you think you simply can’t live without.

This whole dilemma is more about your attitude. Is your identity wrapped up in your things? Are you nothing without them? Imagine losing everything in a fire. Are your palms sweating? That’s the key, attachment and intent.

It’s okay to love things, but more for the pleasure they bring you than for the status or identity they give you, or for the illusionary happiness they can bestow on you.

Things can’t make you happy, money can’t make you happy. However, at this point I’m reminded of something my 22 year old told me.

“But Mom, if you don’t have any money, your whole life is a struggle just to survive.” Point well taken.
So let’s assume that you have enough money to cover the basics--food, clothing and shelter.

Now we move into chopper waters. I think most of us agree that we can live on far less than we currently do. So what’s the problem?

Partly our society--keeping up with the neighbors, getting the latest (have you seen the new iPods? They’re sweet.), being bombarded with retail everywhere you look.

After a while you lose touch with the basics and are running frantically after every new thing, certain that it will finally make you happy.

But it doesn’t.

I know someone who has a lot of money, and I mean a lot of money. She doesn’t donate to any charities, she doesn’t give gifts, and she always wants more.

She finally admitted that it’s never enough, and she’s scared all the time that she may lose everything. Then she’d be nothing, I suppose.

She’s not especially spiritual, but it has nothing to do with money. It’s her.

Spirituality is about connection, love, caring and compassion. It’s about honesty and generosity and service to others.
And this particular woman? She’s not especially any of those things.

You can have money and do and be all of that good stuff, but money can be distracting. You worry about making it, keeping it, losing it. You worry about your things getting broken or stolen. You have to maintain your things, planning what you’re going to be doing with your money. You have to clean your things.

These are distractions, distracting you from what’s essential in your life (you decide what’s essential).

I think you are spiritual. I see you as kind, honest, generous, intelligent and funny.

Any problems? Well, it looks like you use buying to make you happy sometimes. It’s called retail therapy, and while it’s almost a laughable addiction, it’s still an addiction.

And it’s really not funny. Addiction crosses over the boundary of what’s necessary to what’s a substitution for something else--peace of mind, perhaps.

So I’d banish the notion that you can’t be spiritual and wealthy. You’re just fine.

Now I’d look at your spending habits. Do you notice any trends in your spending patterns? Do you shop when you’re stressed out, sad, restless? Does acquiring that “thing” make your life any better in the long run, or do you think it will?

If the answer is continuously no, then you might want to look at what else you can do when you’re feeling stressed out, sad or restless.

Meditate, call a friend, go for a walk, maybe? I challenge you to write down every penny you spend for the next month.

Just look at what you’re doing--shed some light into the darkness. Addictions love darkness.

Then vow to not spend more than a set amount a day for a whole month. This will give you an idea of how much extra may be going out the door.

Again, awareness is the key. Guilt has no place here.

Money is energy, and can grant you independence and freedom. Besides, it can be a lot of fun, can’t it?

I figure that this is my lifetime for abundance, so I help others as much as possible. Next lifetime I may need help; then I’ll rely on others.

It’s all about balance, and about feeling worthy to have.

You are worthy, so keep your money, enjoy it, and take good care of yourself--you’re a good person.

As for all those fabulous, shiny things out there, they’re just that--things.

Concentrate on yourself, your family, your friends, and leave the things alone.

You’ve got enough. Everything is perfect, just the way it is.

Out of the Darkness Walk to Prevent Suicide

2008-09-25T02:32:00-06:00

On October 6, 2005, at the age of 33, my older sister Jennifer took her own life. She’d suffered from major depression and severe anxiety for many years.

She was a talented, intelligent, loving person, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and miss her.

At the time of Jennifer’s death, I didn’t know much about suicide. In fact, I remember receiving an email that day about a suicide awareness walk (in Portland, Oregon, where I was living at the time) and thinking “Thank God that will never happen in my family.”

I got the call that very night from my mom telling me what happened and I boarded the plane with my husband early the next morning to go home.

Over time, I’ve come to learn that more than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have an illness such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or substance abuse--sometimes diagnosed, sometimes not.

While suicide is typically the result of a complicated stew of life events and circumstances, the main ingredient is almost always an underlying illness. Just as people can die of heart disease or cancer, they can die as a consequence of mental illness.

I’ve also learned that I’m hardly alone: research shows that more than 60 percent of us will lose someone we know to suicide during the course of our lifetimes; more than 20 percent of us will lose a family member.

Nevertheless, the historical stigma surrounding suicide persists, leaving many survivors of suicide loss feeling misunderstood and abandoned, yearning for comfort and understanding.

Survivors may turn to support groups, where they can talk openly without fear of being judged. There are over 400 suicide bereavement support groups throughout the U.S., along with countless online groups.

Other survivors read voraciously, learning everything they can about suicide and its aftermath.

Still others find a powerful sense of community and healing at survivor conferences and suicide prevention walks such as the Out of the Darkness Community Walk.

Our Third Annual Fargo-Moorhead walk is taking place this Sunday September 28th. It’s a time for survivors to come together to remember and honor those they’ve lost, as well as an opportunity to raise much needed funds for suicide prevention, research, education, and survivor support.

More information on this event and how to register can be found online at www.outofthedarkness.org.

Suicide not only affects families, it affects entire communities. Please join us as we walk to save lives, erase the stigma, and support those left behind.

Questions and comments: afspnd@gmail.com

If You Go

What: Fargo-Moorhead Out of the Darkness Community Walk.
Where: Island Park Gazebo
When: Sun, Sept 28, 2-4 pm, check in at 1 pm.
Info: http://www.outofthedarkness.org or call 701.219.4110.

WALKSudan

2008-09-24T02:37:00-06:00

WALKSudan is a walk between the three college campuses to raise awareness for the Lost Boys of Sudan, and to raise the funds necessary to build the first library in south Sudan.
The library will act as a catalyst to bring other needed facilities into the area that needs them so desperately.
WALKSudan is associated with Pacodes, an organization started right here in our area by Dr. Roy Hammerling and Machien Luoi.
For more information, or to get your sponsor sheets, or to make a donation, contact Dr. Roy at hammerli@cord.edu, or Dr. David Martin at martin@cord.edu. Informational websites at http://www.pacodes.org and http://www.endlesseye.org.

If You Go

What: WALKSudan
Where: Starting at Roosevelt Park by NDSU, ending up at Concordia (about 5 km.)
When: Sat, Oct. 4, registration at 8:30, walking at 9 am.
What can you do to help? Just walk, get sponsors and walk, donate money or books, send prayers of support.

Under Construction

2008-09-18T11:15:00-06:00

Q: I’ve always been healthy, but now I’m allergic to dairy, I seem to have hay fever (I sneeze all the time) and I get weird rashes at times (I can’t trace them back to anything that could’ve caused them). Am I unhealthy now?

A: Congratulations on your ever-increasing good health! For you are most certainly not becoming less healthy, from what I can tell.

Let me illustrate: if you own a crappy violin, it doesn’t matter much what you do with it. You can leave it in a hot, dry room, or a damp room. You can leave it out in the sun. It plays all right, but the varnish is cracked and the bridge is loose.

But none of that really matters because it’s a cheap violin that is incapable of making nice music. You just don’t care that much about what happens to it.

Now enter a beautiful Stradivarius. It’s expensive, well-made and puts out the most unbelievable music. It’s kept in a moisture-controlled, temperature-controlled room. It’s kept well-conditioned and tuned. It’s laid gently in a cushioned case when not in use. It’s very sensitive to its environment and only wants the best treatment so it can perform at its peak.

You, my friend, are a Stradivarius.

When people are unhealthy, they have an unhealthy lifestyle. They may smoke, drink too much, do drugs, eat crap, take prescription drugs or over-the-counters.

Their bodies are so toxic they’ve begun to shut down, a little at a time.

The extra fat they carry houses all those toxins in a desperate attempt to keep then out of the vital organs.

The fatigue is masked by coffee and sugar, the insomnia solved by Ambien, the unhappiness drugged in any number of ways.

Like a highway that’s not maintained, stretches of road are now being closed off. You have to figure out alternative routes, until eventually you run out of road, and your trip’s over.

When you say you were healthy before, I’m seeing more that you were beginning to live a pretty healthy life. You’d cut out most sugar, limited your drinking (I know, I know, but too much just isn’t good for you). It doesn’t look like you ever smoked (good for you - it’s the #1 most dangerous thing you can do to your body).

So in the beginning, you felt pretty good. Your body was like, “Hey, I like this good food and fresh water. I like the natural stuff.”

But then something happened. It felt safe enough (and healthy enough) to start getting rid of all of those built-up toxins it was storing over the years.

Bam! They all get dumped into your bloodstream.

Now you feel like crap, sick even.

“I thought I was supposed to feel better,” you say.

This is what’s known as a healing crisis, and most sources say it only lasts a day or two, but seriously, when I went through it, it was more like nine months, so don’t think it’s a quick trip down a flower-strewn path.

What’s happening? Major road construction, first off. Mass confusion and pain-in-the-butt stuff. Think 25th Street and University a few years ago.

The old is finally being torn up, everything is stripped down to the foundation, then the new is being built in place of the old. But that’s what you’re just coming out of, it looks like, so why the mysterious new symptoms?

Ask yourself if you’re ingesting or are around any chemicals or things that are unhealthy.

If you are, then your now-sensitive Stradivarius body is letting you know it doesn’t like whatever’s going on.

Since you’re now finely tuned and responsive, tuned in to your body, you’re going to now notice every little glitch.

Is it annoying? At first, totally, but gradually you can ease into the new rhythm and begin to feel grateful that you’re so in touch, and able to help your body achieve and maintain optimal health.

Will you still get rashes, allergic symptoms a nd mysterious ailments? As long as we continue to live in such a toxic world, probably.

But I maintain that on the whole, most people are waking up to the toxic environment in their bodies and in the world, and with everyone working together, I think everything will keep getting healthier and healthier.

Until that utopian time? Do what you can with what you’ve got and what you know.

Eat as much unprocessed, organic food as possible, drink a lot of pure water, use natural ingredients on your body and in your home, get good exercise and keep your weight down, get good sleep, be happy, avoid anything artificial (including friends!), and you’ll be off to a good start.

You’ll only keep getting better and better, so be grateful. The alternative? A life of doctors, hospitals, sickness, pills, and disease.

Me? I’d rather spend my time playing basketball with my son and cooking stir-fry. How about you?

Reduce, Reuse, Rhombus

2008-09-15T18:57:00-06:00

An innovative downtown recycling project will soon be implemented on a trial-basis in downtown Grand Forks.

Aaron Hendricks, co-owner and operator of Rhombus Guys Pizza in downtown Grand Forks, alongside Leah Rae Amundson, Public Works Service Coordinator for the City of Grand Forks Public Works Department, and the city contractor, Waste Management, Inc., have joined forces to organize a public recycling project that is rumored to kick-off early this fall.

The downtown recycling project is one that has been in talks for quite sometime, having been a prominent focus area of the Greater Grand Forks Environmental Resource Committee’s Green Initiative- a comprehensive effort put together by the mayor to make Downtown environmentally sustainable, competitive and attractive. It operates on the evaluation of environmental issues based on criteria involving increased efficiency; cutting costs/saving money; and cleaning the environment.

The project began as a meeting organized through the efforts of Hendricks, in conjunction with LeahRae Amundson.

Hendricks, who requested each business on the 300 block of Kittson to participate in an organized recycling effort, received interested responses from each of the businesses he spoke with.

“Initially I decided to look into recycling as an option for my business because I was intrigued by the scientific aspects of global climate change. As I started to notice more and more reports, I read more and more, and watched more and more about global climate change on television. I learned that as each new report came along and as more and more data was being collected, the prognosis became worse and I wanted to start doing my part to help.

Rhombus Guys Pizza looks like just that, a pizza joint located at 312 Kittson Avenue, looming in the dark shadows of the Plain Brown Wrapper in downtown Grand Forks.

Hendricks, however, attests that Rhombus encompasses an entire green lifestyle.

“We have come to a point in time when we need, to take measures to ensure that the human race can live on happily and healthily in posterity. Recycling is a virtually effortless way that each of us can be doing our part to ensure the future for others.”

The City of Grand Forks is currently receiving quotations for a specialized lid design for a cardboard recycling receptacle, which will be placed in a central location on the 300 block of Kittson Avenue--the block on which Rhombus is located.

The lid design will encourage users to break down their cardboard boxes, while also helping to prevent illegal dumping. The lid of the receptacle will open automatically only as it’s being collected by the front-load style truck, preventing the use of the receptacle for anything other than recyclable cardboard.

“There are certain challenges associated with pioneering a recycling program downtown, the largest of them regarding area. Because the downtown area is so compact, finding a place for people to recycle and do it effectively poses a bit of a challenge. We are hoping to lock down the recycling effort downtown and use it as a model for moving forward,” said Todd Feland, Public Works Director for the City of Grand Forks.

To help the effort along, the City of Grand Forks Sanitation Department will co-locate a standard refuse container for putrescible (food, restroom, household) waste.

Following placement and evaluation of cardboard-only recycling on the 300 Block of Kittson, the City will explore additional recycling opportunities, including the feasibility of single-stream style recycling options--plastics, aluminum, and glass recycling, as well as opportunities for expansion of recycling receptacles to other downtown areas.

“I think there is a common misconception that only people that take a particular interest in the environment should or can be involved in a project or an effort such as the recycling initiative, but really all people should be concerned about the environment--recycling encompasses all people, from those who may take an interest because of the actual environmental reason, to those who may choose to be involved for economical reasons,” said Hendricks.

“The great thing about this project is that it is driven by grassroots, and hopefully the individuals that expressed interest in recycling options downtown, will help police it. Having people develop the idea and want to see it implemented is a plus over having to force something onto people who don’t want it,” added Feland, the Public Works Director.

Single stream recycling and customized containers will help ensure the sustainability of the pilot program in the downtown trial area. The project will be monitored over the coming months, and modifications and improvements will be made as necessary.

For additional information about recycling options in the Grand Forks area, check out: http://www.grandforksgov.com/gfgov/home.nsf/Pages/Recycling.

To request containers for recycling, contact Grand Forks Public Works Department at 701.746.2570.

Trailer Trouble

2008-09-13T19:08:00-06:00

Man rose up on his hind legs, walked, ran, invented the wheel, and eventually the bicycle. It was only a matter of time before the stroller gave way to evolutionary pressure.

Despite my concerns regarding safety, Nelly convinced me it was time for us to invest in a bicycle trailer for our little family. We would not only extend our engine-free range, but we would also add enough capacity to haul up to one hundred pounds of groceries. Sold!

Dylan (aka Baby Boots), our eighteen month old son, hated his new bicycle helmet and screamed the entire time he was buckled into the trailer. This lasted for two days, until Boots fell in love with his buggy.

He now gets excited and assumes we are going for a bike ride every time we open the garage door, saying “Helm, helm, buckle?” in wide-eyed anticipation.

We loaded up the trailer and set out on an adventure into North Fargo the other day, making sure to pack a poncho due to the threatening clouds of rain.

We crossed the toll bridge (bikes ride free!), made our way through Trefoil Park, and continued north to Trollwood.

My son spotted the playground equipment and it was on like Donkey Kong. We played for an hour in the lightest of rains, and had a great time running and exploring the park that I remember most from my childhood visits to Fargo.

A few sprinkles were not about to dampen our fun, but once it began to really pound down on the yellow brick road it was time to head for home.

Donning my poncho and an attitude of perseverance, I began pedaling into the wind and rain. Things were going well until they started to go wrong. Then they got worse.

We were near Longfellow Elementary School when a solar-powered crosswalk light caught my eye and I started thinking long thoughts about how we are all pulling together and will surely find our way out of the energy crisis wilderness.

Some of us are choosing to live closer to our jobs, utilizing public transportation, or downsizing to more fuel efficient cars. Others are thinking bigger by working on long term solutions such as an electric grid powered largely by renewable and clean energy sources.

And here was a solar powered crosswalk light next to an elementary school, a powerful symbol of positive change in my mind.

A car sped toward us, and then ominously slowed down. “Why don’t you get on the fu*king sidewalk!” yelled a young motorist out of his passenger side window. I saw red and gestured for him to pull over so that I could explain exactly why I was not “on the fu*king sidewalk”. Luckily he was not actually interested in my response, which would almost certainly have been of the nonverbal variety.

Anger obscured my reason as jumbled thoughts raced through my now mostly useless brain.

How could he not understand the threat that my rig would pose to pedestrians on the sidewalk? How could he not see that he was supporting terrorism and the destruction of our environment by not riding a bicycle himself?

Even with the bicycle trailer attached, I take up about half the width of a parked car on the side of the road, and I doubt that this counterrevolutionary young man bothers to roll down his windows in the pouring rain to yell at all the parked cars that are in his way.

“What about generational accountability?” I thought. “I refuse to pass on the true cost of my lifestyle to my child as previous generations have done. The buck stops here!”

Up ahead I saw the bike trail and fumed that I would gladly ride in a dedicated bike lane if one were available, but of course that would cost taxpayer funds that are needed to build new roads for new developments that are so far from existing infrastructure that Lance Armstrong would not be able to bike to work.

I was thinking so quickly and angrily that I misjudged my approach to the trail. One wheel of the buggy slammed into the curb, flipping the trailer on its side.

I jumped off the bike and righted the trailer in the time it took my heart to start beating again. Baby was safe and secure in his five point harness, and did not seem to be aware that his daddy had screwed up big time.

Clarity returned and the folly of my rage was revealed. I told him that I was sorry, that it was my fault, and that I would be more careful next time. Dylan signed and said “All done,” and I agreed, wishing that it were true.

The rain slowed and then stopped as we pedaled back into Trefoil Park. The sun peeked through the clouds. A smile spread across my face.

Storms they come and go, as
Summer turns to fall and
Though the light shines not as bright the
Sunshine warms us all.

Happy Birthday HPR!

2008-09-12T19:14:00-06:00

You’ve probably seen a stack of them while leaving the grocery store, or maybe you’ve seen the latest issue in a rack at your local video store after renting a couple of DVDs for the weekend. Actually, if you’re reading this, chances are pretty good you have a copy in your hands right now. Of course, I’m talking about the High Plains Reader and it’s getting ready to have a birthday party.

For those of you who don’t know, the Reader was founded in Grand Forks in 1994 by Ian Swanson, Peter Ryan, and Len Schmid and then purchased two years later by Raul Gomez and John Strand, who currently own it. After the flood of ‘97 destroyed their office in Grand Forks, they picked up and moved to Fargo where they currently reside and continue to publish the paper.

Throughout the years the High Plains Reader has intertwined itself into the community of the Fargo-Moorhead and Grand Forks areas, grabbing the attention of an estimated 20,000 to 30,000 readers a week. With Sept. 5 marking the 14th anniversary of the paper, what better to celebrate than just that: community?

“We’re a family here,” says Editor and Co-owner John Strand pointing out that the celebration of the Reader is not just about him and Co-owner Raul Gomez, but everyone involved, especially the readers.

In reality, the High Plains Reader is the community. Writers and other contributors to the paper are all people from around the area, voluntarily dedicating their free time to helping produce issue after issue, not for a paycheck, but for the love of doing it.

Of course it’s not just their own passion for the subjects they write on that keep them involved in the paper, but the fact that there are people just as passionate about the same things they are that read it every week.

Really, there is no difference between the writers and the readers; we all share interests in the same things. I mean up until a couple of weeks ago, I had done nothing more than read the High Plains Reader. Now that I have written for it, I don’t feel any different and that’s because I’m not.

Over the years, writers have shared their opinions weekly in the areas of current music, film, politics, art, technology, health, and cuisine giving the paper an eclectic personality suitable for the wide array of readers in the region. You can also count on finding a calendar detailing a list of upcoming events happening in the area, such as concerts, and a “Dear John” section for letters to the editor.

Also, HPR’s website has continued to grow and is now beginning to post content exclusive to the web. “Our goal is to have the most user-friendly, accurate data base of entertainment-related events in the Valley,” Strand recently wrote explaining the direction of the website.

The site also allows anyone to sign up and leave their own comments responding to articles they have read. It’s just one more way that the paper involves the community. Anyone interested in exploring what the online version of High Plains Reader has to offer can check it out at http://hpr1.com/.

The paper will celebrate its 14th anniversary starting at 7:30 p.m.with live music from local artists Sleeping in Gethsemane, The Palest Blue, and Brenda Weiler, at the Plains Art Museum. At 9:30 pm the party will then make its way to The Aquarium and continue on until 2:00 am, featuring music from Carl Clinton and The Great Divide, Jeremy Messersmith, and The South Moorhead Scratch Dungeon.

So come on down and celebrate with the HPR family and enjoy some of the best music the region has to offer. After all it’s just as much your party as it is ours.

Mean Girls

2008-09-11T07:20:00-06:00

Q: Dear Susie, There is a woman in my neighborhood who spreads nasty rumors. She’s done it for years, and some people don’t talk to each other because of her. So my four friends and I got together and decided to do something bad to her. We haven’t decided what yet and I feel funny about it.

A: Hopefully this column will come out before you do anything.

There is nothing more aggravating than nasty rumors. It starts in junior high, and some people never seem to grow out of it.

They love starting them, they love passing them on. They don’t love being on the receiving end of them.

But all of it is very energizing, whether you’re the one spreading the news. (Have you heard what Sheila did? It’s outrageous!) or whether you’re receiving the news (I can’t believe it! Tell me all about it…).

There’s even a lot of energy around being the victim of the rumors (Can you believe that rotten Tammy? I can’t believe she’d be that mean! She’s always been like that, remember the time she …).

I admit it: when I realize people have said untrue things about me, the first thing I want to do is call everyone I know and convince them it’s not true, and get them to side with me. What if someone believed that person? I’m a good person!

How could they do that to me? They’re so mean!

But here’s the deal. Negative breeds negative, pure and simple. I know, I know--it’s not fair, she’ll never stop, it’s hurting everyone, but here are some things to consider.

I won’t even get into the karmic ramifications of spreading lower energy stuff around--it’s just so bad, and really, what goes around comes around, and I really don’t want to be on the receiving end of karma (it’s already happened enough, thank you!).

What does that mean? Even if your neighbor starts and spreads the rumors, it will only hurt you if you return like with like.

By the way your question is stated, you already feel funny about it, so you’re tapped into your conscience, and that higher law of karma.

I’m interested in what you were planning to do to her. I’m hoping it wasn’t anything illegal (really bad karma), but still hoping it wasn’t too drastic.

When I tune in to your neighbor, I’m picking up on someone in a lot of pain. She doesn’t like being left out, and this is her way of feeling included.

Really, she’s the center of a lot of your conversations, isn’t she? So in some weird way, she’s an important part of all of your lives. She doesn’t feel worthy to just be with any of you, so she keeps herself on the outside by being a not-so-pleasant person (although on the surface she looks to be quite pleasant to your face), and feels like it’s enough just to have you all talking about her.

One practical suggestion is for all you who are on the receiving end to get together and make a pact not to listen to, or believe, anything this woman says to you. You don’t have to spend any time with her, do you? If no one has contact with her, no one can hear any bad things.

Another tactic is bluntness. If she starts in on one of your friends, interrupt her and say, “I’ll keep talking with you, but only if you don’t speak unkindly about _______.” If she persists, end the conversation. Period. If two people don’t dance, there’s no dance. Walk away. You don’t have to play.

You don’t want to be mean. You do your best, and try to be fair. I can understand your frustration, really, I can, but there’s this great scene out of the “Fifth Element” that has the dark star moving closer to Earth, and the head of the Army wants to shoot it with some missiles. The priest says no--hatred makes it grow, because the star is pure hate, and hate feeds off the hatred. The Army sergeant doesn’t believe him, shoots the star, and sure enough, it grows.

The answer to the whole situation? Love. Love is the only thing that can conquer hate. The same is true in this situation, like it or not.

What would be the perceived outcome if you were to answer hate with hate? Would that make anything better? Would everyone now be happy, or miserable?

So I’ll ask you: what can you all do to distance yourself from this woman? It seems to me that everyone is enmeshed, and really, there’s no one forcing you to interact or talk with the mean neighbor. And especially if you band together to not play into her game, it will be over.

My strong suggestion is not to do anything bad. Although it may temporarily feel good, in the long run it will make things worse, kind of like scratching your poison ivy. It’s bugging you, you’ve just gotta do it, no, no, you can’t take it … ah … that felt good to scratch. Aaaaaah! That hurts!

So put some spiritual calamine lotion on your neighbor poison ivy by sending her some positive vibes (Seriously--mentally say something like “I bless you and wish you only happiness in your life.").

Calm yourself by distancing yourself from her lower energy, calm yourself with meditation or walking or spending time with uplifting, positive, kind people.

And keep listening to that small still voice that urged you to write in with your question. It will continue to give you good advice, because I think that you came to the same conclusion that I did: don’t do it.

Of course, you’re free to do whatever you please. Just watch the results and the consequences of your actions, because every action has an opposite and equal reaction, and in some cases, the reaction may be even greater than the original action, and I’m not sure if you’re up for that.

So whatever you decide, good luck, best wishes, and blessings to you.