hkob: hong kong or bust!

batten down the hatches!

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:40:00 +0000

Tropical Storm Molave will be making an unwelcome appearance on Sunday... Why do they invariably hit at the weekend?

shankers collage

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:39:00 +0000

hongkers meets shangkers

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:09:00 +0000

Despite having studied in Beijing – and despite travels that have tracked the longitudinal and latitudinal extremes of the country – my China CV still had one gaping hole: I had never been to Shanghai.

That was until last week, when the company rewarded my hard work with a three day business excursion to the city. "At last," I thought, "a sensible business trip! Chongqing, Shenyang – be gone with you! I am now a Shanghai, Tokyo, London and Paris kinda guy!"

Now despite having heard only positive things about this city, let me tell you a secret: Shanghai is not all it's cracked up to be.

1. The Bund - a chief attraction - is being renovated for the 2010 EXPO (Shanghai's version of the Beijing Olympics). It is currently unwalkable.

2. Shanghai suffers from the same problems has your average Chinese city: apocalyptic smog; wanton construction; chaotic traffic; questionable hygiene; cheap rip-offs - to name a few.

3. Foreigners still seem to be victims of stereotyping: "Hello, lady bar?" for example, as I tried to blend into the bustling, and reportedly cosmopolitan, Nanjing Lu.

On the positive side, Shanghai's cityscape is impressive (even in the smog). Its scale already dwarfs New York (and Hong Kong), and only looks set to grow further. My hotel room – in the Grand Hyatt – was on the 74th floor.

As SSPB might say: hkorbust says visit Shanghai - but wait until after the EXPO.

what’s the cfukcing point…

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:37:00 +0000

… as the Great Unlinkable (or unlikeable?) might say.

I am referring of course to Hong Kong public holidays which fall mid-week – Wednesday's HKSAR Establishment Day being a case in point.

As the flood of humanity gushes predictably forth from dim sum restaurants circa 12.30pm, Hong Kong's streets, beaches, shops, museums – and anything else you can think of – become increasingly busy. The tipping point is inevitably crossed by around 3pm – the moment when even the most hardened Causeway Bay shopaholic will notice that their spirits (along with much of their cash) have been glugged down the plughole of fate.

Then there's work.

If you are generally a "receiving-50-emails-a-morning" type of person, then by missing one day of work you can guarantee that there will be 100 emails that require your immediate attention. By the afternoon, your humble colleagues in Singapore, Mumbai, Seoul, and Beijing (and other locations that did not get holidays) will have resent the requests you have not yet honoured – only this time marking them URGENT and applying that infuriating (and occasionally alarming) little red exclamation mark.

You will work overtime to catch up.

As the clock passes midnight a new thought - along with a new day - dawns on you:

Why did I bother with the cfucking holiday in the first place?

joining the ranks…

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:04:00 +0000

This week is notable chez hkorbust in that Mrs H has finally joined the ranks of Hong Kong's 199,700 officially unemployed persons. She resigned from her position in international sales some two months ago, fed up with her company's illogical management style.

Her first day of freedom was spent reserving a two week holiday in October, when we plan to travel to Tanzania/Uganda for a wedding. It is a trip that involves no less than seven flights - four of which are within Africa. As things stand, I'll be spending my 30th birthday at 36,000ft, somewhere between Nairobi and Bangkok…

In the meantime, Mrs H is planning to head to Philippines to participate in an NGO project with children – although like my birthday this remains very much up in the air. She is preferably looking for something not too far from Hong Kong that could be done for somewhere between 6-8 weeks – not sure if anyone has any recommendations?

Meanwhile, I’ve been so busy that I haven't had the chance to follow the news recently – did someone die, or something?

H1N1 or bust – quarantined!

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:09:00 +0000

After twelve hours, the insertion of five suction catheters, one chest x-ray, one blood test, one sputum test, one urine test, and a course of tamiflu, I was finally allowed to leave my isolation unit at the Queen Mary Hospital with a diagnosis of "H1N1 negative." But for a moment, yes, I was nervous.

The episode came about after developing flu symptoms over the weekend. On Monday I returned to the office to find that my secretary – just back from Canada - had tested H1N1 positive. Another colleague had been quarantined as a precaution. I immediately joined the dots, and at the recommendation of the company doctor was sent for the test.

With Mrs H in England, and my Blackberry and mobile phone as my only companions, it was indeed a lonely day. I passed the time texting my friends, writing emails, and mastering "Highroller Casino" on my phone – I am now rather good at Texas Hold'em.

A couple of points about quarantine in Hong Kong.

First, the tests are unpleasant – in particular, the "suction catheter". This is inserted up the nostrils, and down the throat to collect liquid. It results in a natural "gag" reaction. Second, reminiscent of Big Brother, a CCTV camera is in the room, which I noticed follow me around. Third, a quick mention to the chefs at the hospital, who with a great sense of irony served a pork stir fry for both lunch and dinner.

Finally – it's amazing I got out at all. I mixed up two of the tests, putting the urine in the sputum pot and vice versa.

snakes on a plane!

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:38:00 +0000

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Air China CA1644 from Beijing to Shenyang. During the flight we will be serving snakes and water."

In China you never can be too sure about stuff like this.

one country, one system strikes again

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 05:35:00 +0000

Growing up in Hong Kong and later attending school in the UK, I found that I was affected by different things from your average British schoolboy. The Tiananmen "incident" was one such issue – it was of little relevance to most of my peers, yet it had a profound impact on me. I suspect my curiosity around it may have impacted a decision many years later to really engage myself in all things China.

Just as 9/11 might have impacted a young child in 2001, the horrors of Tiananmen left a genuine mark. While I was certainly concerned for those caught in the mêlée, my attention was really focused on Hong Kong – what were the implications for the city, my family and our future? Could such a thing happen here? Although I had never been to China at that stage, Beijing, and all that it entailed, suddenly felt a great deal closer.

By contrast I always confused Margaret Thatcher and the Queen; I had absolutely no idea what they did.

Earlier today, Mrs H and I debated the merits of attending today's commemoration in Victoria Park. Taking the diplomatic approach, I put forward that Tiananmen was a matter for China to resolve. [Plus I can’t stand it when people jump on the freedom bandwagon - Mia Farrow and the like]. Conversely, Mrs H said that we were living in China, that I was a permanent resident, and if Hong Kong and Taiwan don’t mark it in some way then the victims will be forgotten.

A tough call indeed, and perhaps why chose "to blog".

I suppose it is disappointing that Beijing has reverted to its old ways on this anniversary – blocking CNN in Beijing, hassling reporters, etcetera, etcetera – especially after increasing openness surrounding issues like the Sichuan earthquake and H5N1.

But on reflection - just as when I was younger - it is the situation in Hong Kong that makes me feel uneasy. When will Hong Kong show the kind of leadership around such issues that it should? Is it legal to refuse artists and "dissidents" entry? Did the Immigration Department succumb to pressure? Will Donald Tsang be punished for his inconsiderate and inappropriate remarks?

A shining beacon of freedom indeed!

first roach of the year signals a prolonged summer

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 26 May 2009 02:16:00 +0000

It may lack the "cute value" that the Pennsylvania groundhog enjoys, but the humble cockroach can be an equally useful indicator of seasonal changes. In Hong Kong, it is my personal belief that the first outdoor cockroach sighting of the year represents the start of spring – and the first indoor sighting represents the start of summer.

And summer must have come early this year, because the first cockroach made an unwelcome appearance chez hkorbust at around 12.30am, Monday 25 May (last year it came on 6 July). Rather ominously, the sighting occurred at about the same time that Damien Duff scored the own goal that would condemn Newcastle to relegation from the English Premiership.

The first action happened in the bathroom. Upon seeing the creature, I grabbed the nearest available weapon –a towel – and whipped it with such force it must have felt like a Taepaedong missile. But the cockroach persisted, flying around in a demented, aggravated state. It then made a bid for freedom, hobbling off down the hall as fast as it could.

After a tense stand off, I managed to coax the injured roach out from underneath the sofa. It then looked for safety in the curtain, climbing up the inside crease of the netting. With great initiative, the window was then opened; the curtain was thrust outside – and vigorous shaking ensued. From the 18th floor, the beast fell gracelessly into a dark, wet, horrible night.

Back on NOW TV, the final whistle went, and Newcastle too had fallen gracelessly – in their case into the abyss of Championship football and beyond.

china sex park suffers erectile dysfunction

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Fri, 22 May 2009 07:07:00 +0000

Cheung Kong's recent press conference on their plans to list on the Shanghai Stock Exchange demonstrated two things. First, that the company – like HSBC – sees Hong Kong’s relative position in China declining (at best), or indeed being completely eclipsed by Shanghai. Second, that Mr Li, as he ages, is bearing an increasing resemblance to Jiang Zemin…

Critics may call this a case of 'deserting Hong Kong', or CKH not staying 'true to its roots' – but I can see some potential upside: perhaps the Shanghai listing, along with Mr Li’s extensive experience in property, might help to save China’s first "sex theme park", which has sadly been dismantled before it was fully erect.

Or as ABC News rather amusingly put it – China sex park suffers premature demolition. A wonderful story from north of Gin Drinker's Line!

conversation with big boss – a play in one act

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 19 May 2009 08:43:00 +0000

The following is based on actual events.

Cast:
Mrs H - Wife of hkorbust
Big Boss - A very senior manager at Mrs H’s company
Colleague X – A colleague of Mrs H whose husband has recently (and very sadly) eloped leaving her with a young child

First (and Final) Act:
The scene opens at a crowded Hong Kong seafood restaurant, or similar. The table is messy, with plates, bowls, chopsticks, and leftovers scattered across a cheap plastic cover.

Big Boss: “H tai-tai. I see you have decided to resign from the company.”

Mrs H: “Indeed I have. I’m sick of working Saturdays and having to clock in at exactly 9am or have annual leave deducted from my measly allowance of seven days. I’ve put up with this madness for four years now…”

Big Boss: “Ai! Your choice la! What are you going to do?”

Mrs H: “I’m going to the Philippines for a few months to work for an NGO.”

Big Boss, thinking to himself: “Impossible la! Why would anyone resign from the company, especially during a downturn? For the Philippines? Ai, these gweilos are so unpredictable!”

Big Boss: “And tell me, Mrs H, how is married life treating you?”

Mrs H: “Very well thanks, Big Boss. I’m enjoying it so far.”

Big Boss, laughing: “Very funny! Married life is good for you – but not so good for her! WAHAHAHA!”

Big Boss points his finger at Colleague X.

Mrs H: “Urrrrmmm…”

Colleague X: “Urrrmmm…”

Fade to black.

The end.

lookalikes

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Fri, 15 May 2009 01:04:00 +0000

Has anyone noticed the similarity between Penfold, Governor of the Bank of England, and Mervyn King, Danger Mouse's sidekick?

Previous HKOB lookalikes:

- Space Commander Benny Hill and English comedian Zhai Zhigan
- State of emergency in Bangkok and the state of emergency in Newcastle
- Liverpool manager, Big Keith, and The Office star, Rafa Benitez
- Soviet composer Harry Potter, and trainee magician Dmitri Shostakovich
- World Financial Centre and a giant bottle opener

crappy pathetic strikes again

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Thu, 14 May 2009 01:39:00 +0000

A whopping 66 comments: that was the tally achieved over at chinadroll.com in relation to a controversial post that examined housing allowances paid by Cathay Pacific. At first I thought this was the stuff of dreams – if only hkorbust could attract the same level of readership! Then I looked a little closer at the comments…

Two of my favourites:

“If Hong Kong (China) as a country could sort itself out, then we (expat pilots) wouldn't need to be here.”

“If you are an expat and not receiving housing here in HK, then you are a fool and should not be here. Your employers are taking you for a ride.”

Now don’t get me wrong – I have always thought that Cathay is a great airline. It contributes a rich part of Hong Kong’s history, has a safety record that is the envy of the industry, and is even part of this blog’s branding. But some of these comments show a distinct lack of judgment, and worryingly that is something that pilot’s are supposed to be good at.

They also demonstrate a group of professionals who seem desperately out of the loop, are touchy (perhaps protective?) over their preferential terms of employment, and seem to be at odds with Cathay’s of vision of being part of the fabric of this city. To think – a flagship airline that has to bribe pilots to be here! Call me an old romantic, but what if – god forbid – people actually wanted to live in Hong Kong?

These comments - assuming they have indeed been left by pilots - make SSPB seem like the voice of reason.

On the topic of safety, as the Dragonair pilot announced (in his Australian accent) that we had started our decent to a Chinese airport on a recent flight, my mind started to wonder: ‘hmm, I wonder how good the level of English is at air traffic control in China’s second and third tier cities? Surely it be safer to have a pilot that can speak Mandarin?’

Part of me feels that Cathay needs to get with the times – even Singapore Airlines (which has an equally impressive safety record), employs a good number of local pilots, from a much smaller pool of talent. Industries across the board – even investment banks - have significantly cut expenses, completely removed allowances, and trimmed bonuses.

The message here is that Cathay doesn’t seem to be doing anything – and that the pilots would resent it if they did. There can be few industries, especially in Hong Kong, where the employees have such sway over their employers.

As an aside - Mrs H recently booked a return trip to London – and British Airways was over a thousand dollars cheaper. This is BA we’re talking about, not Ryanair.

time for your final appointment, sir

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:02:00 +0000

one oba the smogs

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:58:00 +0000

The good thing about living in Hong Kong is that you get all the Premiership football matches. The bad thing is that some of them are on at 3am on a Tuesday morning.

For once, staying up worked in my favour, as Newcastle United destroyed the Smoggies with a reasonably convincing 3-1 win. I like to think that my tuning in had some kind of impact on the outcome.

This was a relegation six pointer – in Pearl River Delta terms, it was Hong Kong (Newcastle) versus Dongguan (‘the smoggies”) - and anything other than a victory would have been a devastating blow to the Toon's chances of top flight survival.

To celebrate the lifting of my spirits after weeks in the doldrums, Mrs H made black and white toast this morning.

Marmite. Like Newcastle United – love it or hate it.

stay another day, or seven...

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Sun, 10 May 2009 13:07:00 +0000

In 1991 - the same year that the Gulf War disrupted the flightpath between Europe and Hong Kong - a new campaign was launched by the Hong Kong Tourism Board with the aim of boosting visitor numbers.

The campaign itself was rather successful, boosting the average length of stay to 3.43 days.

The name of the campaign? -- "Stay An Extra Day"... No more said!

In other news, I extend a warm Hong Kong hand to fellow blogger and sinophile Fuchsia Dunlop, with whose guidance I have cooked two of my favourite Sichuanese dishes - gan bian si ji dou (or "spicy beans from hell", as I prefer ), and gong bao di jing.

what’s a judge supposed to do?

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:19:00 +0000

"It is simply not good enough to buy out the shares at a price based on the last trading day before the announcement, which was the rock bottom price ... 30 per cent [less] than previous trading. Why?" – Justice Anthony Rogers on PCCW's take private transaction.

In addition to this quote, the SCMP also states that the judge explained that he "did not see the rationale behind the privatization, which offered shareholders a price way below what the shares normally traded at."

Is it just me who feels that the judge doesn't really have a mandate to comment on the pricing or rationale behind the deal? The last time I checked he wasn't an investment banker, or an owner of the company…

Surely the key issue from his perspective is the alleged bribery which took place? In a perfectly functioning jurisdiction an offer that was deemed to be too low would be rejected by shareholders. In this case it wasn't, so the SFC intervened.

Bribery is the issue, not the pricing or rationale – surely?

stonecutters bridge: sufficient holes poked

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 07:46:00 +0000

Stonecutters Bridge is finally complete, although it is both late and over budget – by a cool one billion dollars. And with no toll charge, it looks like it will be taxpayers rather than users who end up paying for it.

Nevertheless, the government are reportedly "happy with progress", and more than willing to pay the extra cash needed to meet higher time and material costs.

Amidst claims of gross negligence, the Highways Department noted that the key mistakes were made during the surveying process.

In an attempt to demonstrate that all the correct steps had been taken, the project manager said: “We poked more than 70 holes in the ground to test the rock, which is more than enough…”

Well that puts the mind at rest.

spot the difference

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:25:00 +0000

Last Sunday Hong Kong participated in Earth Hour, many businesses turning off their lights for sixty minutes. Here are some shots from my window at 8.30pm and 8.31pm - see if you can spot the difference.

It is at least at little more impressive than the last time we tried this comparison.

video blog: part two

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 10:46:00 +0000

Here's part two of my recent trip to Beijing and Shenyang. This video sadly marks the end of the road for my Olympus SP-350 camera which packed up soon after filming (was it Beijing's smog or Shenyang's freezing weather?)...

Creating, editing and uploading video is not as straightforward as you might think (partially why I have chosen Dailymotion, rather than Youtube for this one)... Will share my 'lessons learned' in a later post.

Beijing and Shenyang
by hkorbust

video blog - part one

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:27:00 +0000

Here's a short video I've made of the first part of my Hong Kong to Beijing/Shenyang trip. This is the first clip I've ever put together, and it's designed to be watched with the sound on, if possible - there's a soundtrack and everything...

Keep your eyes peeled for part two - if I can be bothered...

off to manchuria - land of lang lang and friends

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 04:55:00 +0000

Business calls this week, with a few days scheduled in Shenyang, Liaoning province.

Shenyang, as you might expect from a city located directly next to North Korea, is famous for a few interesting things. First of all, it is the hometown of two rather illustrious musicians – Japanese conductor Seiji Ozawa, and Chinese pianist Lang Lang (this blog has hit a new low - did I really just link to his website?).

For China history buffs, the Mukden Incident (1931) also took place nearby (Mukden meaning Shenyang in Manchurian). The plot saw some devious Japanese officers destroy their own train line in Manchuria, only to blame the explosion on the Chinese and use it as a pretense for a full-scale invasion. It could be considered the first major event of WWII.

If I have the time I’d love to drop by the wonderfully named “9. 18 Incident Exhibition Museum”, for a thoroughly one-sided view on the matter. Naturally, the controversial Yasukuni Shrine in Japan still claims it was a Chinese-led sabotage attempt. Yawn…

A final interesting note on Shenyang – the PLA’s Shenyang Military Region adjoins Russia’s Far East Military District. The Russians themselves also invaded Manchuria– to fight the Japanese and their protectorates (Korea and Inner Mongolia) in 1945. Anyone else want a slice?

Oh, and to keep Ulie and Fumie happy - I've added a steamy picture of actress Gong Li, who is also from Shenyang.

another new tai po resident?

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:32:00 +0000

With the International Criminal Court issuing a warrant for the arrest of Sudan's President, Omar al-Bashir, I wonder if we might see another new resident at Tai Po's JC Castle?

If I was in charge of JC Castle's marketing, I'd try to position it as a sort of retirement home for former dictators/war criminals. With the Mugabes next door, you'd be in good company...

50 cents for your soul - new album

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 02:13:00 +0000

This came to me via Facebook - quite fun.

Create your own rock band record cover as follows:

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:RandomThe first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7daysThird picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop, picassa, or similar to put it all together.

Here is mine:

don't open that window - spiderman strikes again!

noreply@blogger.com (hkorbust) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:52:00 +0000

I must have been sleeping on the job yesterday when Spiderman - aka Alain Robert - climbed right past my office window. Full story here.

This follows his recent triumph of the Hong Kong four Seasons.