Windshield or Bug?

LarryDavies@SowingSeedsofFaith.com (Larry Davies) — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:00:00 -0500

Some days, I find that I'm a little of both!

It was Monday morning and I was feeling on top of the world: no calls of distress and the pile of paperwork was finally beginning to shrink. Then came the shrill ring of the phone. "Mr. Davies, this is the high school. Your son is not in school today." "You must be mistaken," I said, trying to sound calm. "He left the house on time. Are you sure, he's not there?" "Yes sir. We have a new policy of notifying parents when students are absent or tardy. Our records show your son as absent," replied the calm professional voice. As my heart pounded my voice remained surprisingly calm: "Thank you for letting me know." Like any reasonable parent with a sixteen-year-old son, I responded by panicking! My car nearly did a wheelie as I spun out of the driveway and flew down the highway toward the high school. "Has he been in an accident on the way to school?" I thought. "Oh God, please protect my son." "Maybe he's skipping school with friends," I wondered. "I'm gonna kill him! I'll take his car keys away and he'll ride the bus! He'll be grounded for a month! A year! For Life!" While screeching into the parking lot, tire's a-smokin', I noticed the familiar brown car that could only be my child's. After running into the office and checking with the secretary, I was assured my son was safely inside the classroom. "Whew! I can breathe again!" Have you heard the country song:

Sometimes you're the windshield. Sometimes you're the bug?

I'm beginning to understand what that statement means. In the few short seconds of one phone call, the peace and tranquility of my "windshield" morning was shattered. Instead of being in control, I was a helpless "bug" hurtling down the highway with no way of knowing what tragedy would occur next. This time, I was fortunate because nothing happened; but what about next time? "What about you?" It's true, you know. As much as you may try to remain a "windshield," you will occasionally be the "bug." You may even get squashed! This is why you and I need God! Jesus told a story about two builders. The foolish one built a house on a foundation of sand. The winds and the storms came and the house collapsed. The wise builder used a foundation of rock:

And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock (Matthew 7:25 ).

Both builders faced the same storms, but only one house survived. God is our foundation. God never promised a storm-free, bug-free life. However, God does provide a solid survival plan. Are you feeling like a "windshield" or a "bug"? Your continued struggle to follow God in the midst of either experience will become your solid foundation of rock against inevitable storms.

About the author: Larry Davies is a used-car salesman turned preacher. He serves at Timberlake UMC, and is the author of several books and the online devotional site Sowing Seeds of Faith.

The Gift of Now

tbellkindred@scrtc.com (Teresa Bell Kindred) — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 02:00:00 -0500

So what birthday are you celebrating next?

We will celebrate my granddaughter's first birthday this month. I imagine both sets of grandparents, a few great-grandparents, and a host of aunts, uncles, and cousins will be there to watch her dig into her birthday cake. The tradition in our family is that on your first birthday, you get to eat your cake with your fingers, no matter how big a mess you make. Not long after Abigail's first birthday, I'll celebrate my 50th birthday. I won't be sticking my fingers in the cake unless someone forgets the forks. Instead of making a wish, I prefer to count my blessings. If I counted them all, the candles on the cake would burn out and the ice cream would melt, so I'll start early - before the guests arrive. Turning 50 inspires some people to make lists of things they want to accomplish. If my memory serves me correctly, Paul Wesslund, my wonderful editor at Kentucky Living Magazine, decided to train and run in a marathon as a way of celebrating his 50th. I love to walk, but I think I'll pass on the running. That does remind me, though, that there are lots of things I wish I had learned to do and never got around to doing. Most people would never guess, but this middle-aged grandmother wishes she'd learned to play the drums. I would have loved to have been a jeans-clad, hair-tossing drummer in a rock 'n' roll band. It might be a good thing that I didn't follow that dream. If I had been a drummer, I might not have met Bill, had five children, been a stay-at-home mom, writer, and teacher. I wouldn't have passed up those opportunities for all the gold in Fort Knox. When we have lived half a century, it's easy to look back and say, "I wish I had done this or that." It is also easier to see the things we wish we hadn't done. While we can't change the past and we don't know what the future may bring, if we have been given the gift of "now," then that's worth celebrating ... whether it's your first birthday or your fiftieth.

This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalms 118:24 NLT)

About the author: Teresa is an accomplished author, speaker, mother, and grandmother. Teresa has been married to Bill for a lifetime of family, faith, and love. They are members of Pleasant Hill Church of Christ in Kentucky. They have 5 children and 4 grandchildren. Teresa is also the author of the popular women's blog called "NanaHood"!

Missing the Target

phil@heartlight.org (Phil Ware) — Mon, 30 Aug 2004 02:00:00 -0500

How bad have you messed up?

As they started the final round, Matt Emmons was a few points behind the leader in the Olympic 50 meter three position shooting final. Emmons wasn't worried. After all, even at his young age, he is a seasoned and skilled shooter. He had already won one gold medal in this year's Olympics. As the final round progressed, he was shooting very well, gradually overtaking the leader. He needed only to be fairly close on his final shot to win the victory because of his 3-point lead. On his final shot, Matt steadied himself, working on staying calm. When the time came to fire, he gently squeezed the trigger and sent the shot toward the center of the target. Only his shot didn't register on the correct target. He looked bewildered. Then the grim news was given to him. He had shot at the target one lane over from his own. He shot the wrong target. His final shot was ruled a complete miss and he dropped from a certain gold medal to 8th place. I will never forget the look of bewilderment when Matt fired and his shot didn't register. Then there was the look of hapless resignation as the judges informed him of what had happened. It made me sick at my stomach for him. So much work, so much skill, and then have it all slip away with such a costly and horrible mistake - a huge, public error. He had overcome so much - he wasn't even shooting with his own highly specialized and expensive rifle because someone had sabotaged it. I now have a whole new image when I think of the word "sin" that is used in the New Testament. This word (hamartano) means to "miss the mark." Matt Emmons knows about that. Even though he is recognized at a young age as a premier target shooter, he missed the mark in an embarrassing and humiliating way. Many of us know about missing the mark as well. While we will occasionally find ourselves trapped in a sin because of willful rebellion, most seasoned Christians stumble most frequently when they misjudge a situation, put themselves in a vulnerable position when facing temptation, or cut themselves loose from the support and accountability that helps reinforce good moral judgment. Their intent isn't outright rebellion, but weakness or carelessness gets the better of them and they "miss the mark." Sometimes that sin, their "missing the mark," is public - embarrassing themselves and those they love. Often it is a private sin. Either way, it must be dealt with appropriately so that they don't lose their way and become entrapped in slow spiral that leads to total rebellion. (Hebrews 3:12-14) Thankfully, God has given us grace to not only have our sin forgiven, but to purify us and restore us to a holy relationship with him. We may not be able to control the public revelation of our sin, but with God, we can have another shot at the target. Matt Emmons wasn't so fortunate. My hope is that his miss won't deter him from being all he can be in the future. I know that is what our Heavenly Father hopes for us as well!

If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if you do sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who pleases God completely. He is the sacrifice for our sins. He takes away not only our sins but the sins of all the world. (1 John 1:8-2:2)

About the author: Phil Ware has authored 11 years of daily devotionals, including VerseoftheDay.com, read by 500,000 people a day. He works with churches in transition with Interim Ministry Partners and for the past 21+ years, he has been editor and president of HEARTLIGHT Magazine, author of VerseoftheDay.com, God's Holy Fire (on the Holy Spirit), and aYearwithJesus.com. Phil has also authored four books, daily devotionals on each of the four gospels.

The Art of Saying, 'I am Sorry'

higginbotham.steve@gmail.com (Steve Higginbotham) — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 02:00:00 -0500

Simple words, so why don't we say them more genuinely?

Apologizing doesn't come easy for some of us. We sometimes choke on the words, "I'm sorry." Well, in fact, sometimes we speak the words, but we do so with such animosity, the message is lost. I can illustrate. Being a parent of four children, I have had to "moderate" a good number of apologies. On many occasions, I have told one of my children, "Now you tell your brother/sister you're sorry." What then comes out of their mouth sounds more like a child who is demon possessed than a sincere apology. Teeth clenched ... jaw set ... and the words, "I'm sorry" are spoken in a forceful and almost growling tone. (If you have children, you know exactly what I'm talking about). But now, that's just kid's stuff, right? Adults don't behave like that, now do we? Well, maybe we're not so obvious, but we still have ways of speaking those words with less than sincerity. For example, how many times have you heard people say things like ...

If I have done anything to offend you, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but if you wouldn't have ...
If you'll apologize to me, I'll apologize to you.

Isn't it time we quit pretending to be sorry? Let us discipline ourselves to be humble enough to graciously and freely say we are sorry when we have offended others. When confronted with his sin, King David didn't make any excuses, but simply admitted his wrong by saying, "I have sinned against the Lord" (2 Samuel 12:13). Next time you need to say you're sorry. Humble yourself and do so, and say it like you mean it.

About the author: Steve Higginbotham is a native of West Virginia. His father also preached. Steve serves the Karns Church of Christ in Knoxville, TN and is an instructor in the Southeast Institute of Biblical Studies and an editor for Think Magazine. Steve & Kim have four children, Kelli, Michael, Matthew, and Anne Marie.

Misplaced Apology?

copej@acu.edu (Joey Cope) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:00:00 -0500

Is an apology offered before the fact really an apology?

I was staring at the paper plate in front of me, trying to recall what I had just had for lunch. Slowly, I was able to piece together memories of beef with broccoli, fried rice, and egg roll. The momentary image gave me some pleasure. Then I drifted back to the speaker. His opening statement was what sent my mind searching for something to occupy it. This fellow is a frequent contributor to our gatherings. He's been around a long time - a fact that he often brings up. But he's a discontented sort. I can't remember the last time that his comments were in favor of something - other than finding someone else to be in charge up the line of responsibility somewhere. He has a companion in these strolls. She is less negative, but equally opinionated. When the two of them get started, I do a lot of deep breathing exercises. I would shut them out completely, except for the fact that they do make some good points. Yet, their delivery and demeanor makes it especially hard for me to be objective. Of course, that's my problem, right? I've really been working on that. I just about had it under control until a new wrinkle appeared in his presentation. The last two or three meetings, he sits quietly while others add to the conversation. Then, at his moment, he slowly begins speaking these words: "I am sorry for what I'm about to say. I apologize if I seem negative and difficult." Those few words seem to ice the air in the meeting room. After all, most of the time what he says is negative and difficult. What could be coming if he thinks there's a problem with it? In my view, if you have to apologize for something before you say it, you probably shouldn't say it. After all, with just a few more minutes delay or after sleeping on those thoughts for at least a night, isn't it possible that you could come up with a better way to say it? One that could be more readily accepted by the hearer? You might even decide that you don't need to share those words. Or perhaps they would be better received by someone else. As some one who deals with conflict all of the time, I understand that it is necessary for most people to express concerns - to vent their emotions. Even then, I believe that we can all work toward a better communication style. A strategy that magnifies the negative is rarely productive. Look at most of the political communications - particularly in a campaign. Except in those rare debate competitions rich with rules and filled with judges trained to score the participants on style, effectiveness, and the rules, no one ever wins a debate. Most of us understand that the only effect of a real-life debate is to further entrench each side into their arguments. Contrast "debate" with "conversation." I suppose the courteous debater might open with an apology. But, the effective conversationalist always begins with words that build relationship and invite understanding. So perhaps my colleague is a courteous debater. I am challenged to answer as a conversationalist. An apology offered to excuse future hurt is not one I'm prone to accept. Of course, that's my problem, right?

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29 TNIV). Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6).

About the author: Joey Cope (Dr. Joe L. Cope) is the executive director of the Center for Conflict Resolution at Abilene Christian University. He teaches graduate courses in advanced conflict management, negotiation and mediation. The work of the Center includes mediation/intervention services and educational offerings through seminars, conferences and special courses designed for businesses, non-profit organizations, and churches. Cope is an attorney and received his certificate in dispute resolution from Pepperdine University School of Law. Cope is an elder of the Highland Church of Christ in Abilene, Texas.

Featured Articles from Heartlight

Windshield or Bug?

The Gift of Now

Missing the Target

The Art of Saying, 'I am Sorry'

Misplaced Apology?