Feeling Good about Feeling Bad?

mbarres@dnet.net (Mike Barres) — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:00:00 -0500

Can you actually feel good about your sorrow for sin?

For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death. (2 Corinthians 7:11 NLT 1st Ed.)

Have you ever seen people weeping in response to a powerful message - public or private - in sincere repentance? Repentance is a Biblical word that is often neglected these days. Repentance comes because people have "godly sorrow" that leads them to change their lives to be in tune with the will of God. The early messengers of God said, "Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord" (Acts 3:19 NKJV). Those occasions are incredible to observe. God convicts, hearts are broken because of sin, and repentance occurs. Too often these days, people's hearts are callous. It seems to me that you don't see this happen as frequently these days. People want to do the "church thing." They want to get in, get out, and get on with their "to do" list of Sunday activities. I have noticed something else, as well. It seems like some people feel good about feeling bad, but never really change. They're all about emotional conviction, but not about spiritual correction. Let me explain. You're in church. You know you should feel guilty and feel bad about not being a better Christian. So, you start feeling bad, but that's good, because for a long time, you didn't feel bad when you sinned or rebelled against the will of God or neglected his call in your life. Then, you feel so convicted that you begin to cry a bit. Then, you may even go before others and cry. You feel good about this, because you knew you were supposed to feel bad, but didn't before, but now you do. You even think, "God must really be happy with me, since I'm finally feeling bad for what I've done." The sad thing is you don't change, because you missed the point. God's goal isn't our feeling bad. His real interest is in our repentance - something that brings about change in us both inside and out. That is what the conviction of the Holy Spirit is supposed to do: convict our hearts and empower our change. God wants us to change and come back to Him. John the Baptizer said, "Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance ..." (Luke 3:8). I think we can get in to a Christian form of "pseudo sin-suffering" if we aren't careful. Some people like it when preachers yell at them and they feel bad. Others feel relieved to just feel convicted of their sin. But, feeling bad is not the point. Do we receive conviction from the Holy Spirit, have sincere sorrow, and sincerely repent making real life changes? There is a difference between feeling sorry and turning to the way of God. Feeling sorry just involves emotions; repentance involves change at every level of our being - thought, emotion, behavior, and attitude.

About the author: Mike is a pastor and writer for a number of online publications.

Faith in the Dry Seasons

trshelly@lipscomb.edu (Rubel Shelly) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:00:00 -0500

Can faith actually grow when it feels lifeless and dry?

My friend wrote me about his marriage. "It is a dry season for us," he admitted to me as a confidant. "There has been much stress of late and very little hope of relief in the near future. But we press on. We find our joy in little things. I am thankful for her, and I know she feels secure in my love for her." There is something wise, deep, and very spiritual about that perspective. It stayed in my mind for days. It lets me know he is the good and decent man I thought him to be. My respect for him has grown from what he saw as a sad confession of a dry season in his marriage. How fortunate is his beloved wife! Then there was the voicemail from another friend. "Please call as soon as you have time," she said. There was an urgency to her request that I recognized. My fear was that it reflected a struggle that has been going on in her life for almost three years now. So I phoned almost immediately. And she told about the feelings that were tugging at her. The addiction will not turn loose, but she is determined not to be dragged down without a fight. Then she used the term. "I feel like I am in a dry place with my life," she lamented. "After the divorce, I am so lonely - and vulnerable. I need something to fill the void in my soul. But the closest and easiest things are the ones I know will only make the pain worse. It is so hard not to give in, and I just don't know if I can hold on much longer." This afternoon, I sat down to think about what might be worth sharing with you. In order to focus my thoughts, I pulled down my much-valued copy of a devotional collection of writings from C.S. Lewis. There, on a page already dog-eared, was this highlighted line: "Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please God best." Do you hear the recurring theme? My friend's marriage is in a "dry season." Another's personal life feels like "a dry place." Now I read about praying when one's soul is in a "state of dryness." Is it a sign of sorts to a theme worth thinking about? Or is it just the ongoing truth of the human condition? Life is not all fun and games, and relationships - even with God - are hard to maintain. We go dry. What one does in those times of dryness reveals who she really is! To use it as the excuse for walking away, giving in, or giving up says one thing. To see it as a time of testing when holy purpose must trump inconsistent feelings and commitment must be put above momentary desire says something very different. Maybe an ancient writer was experiencing this same testing of faith in a dry season when he wrote these beautiful lines: "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God" (Psalm 42:1). I hope he survived his dry season and found renewal. I pray as much for you.

A note from the Heartlight editors:

The psalmist Rubel quotes didn't stay in verse one. Three times in this psalm and the next, he asks himself the same question - "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" - and three times he gives the same answer: "Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" (Psalm 42:5, Psalm 42:11, Psalm 43:5). He doesn't report that the dryness lifted. He reports what he did inside it: he kept talking to his own soul, he kept remembering - "these things I remember as I pour out my soul" - and he kept showing up to praise he did not yet feel. That is the deer still walking toward the stream it can't yet see.

If you find yourself in the dry season Rubel describes, the psalmist's counsel is not to work up a feeling but to hold your post: remember what God has already done, answer your downcast soul with his promises, and keep praying and praising until the praise is true again - "for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

About the author: Rubel Shelly preached for decades and served as a professor of medical ethics, Bible, and philosophy at multiple universities. He was a former president of Rochester College and Professor of Philosophy and Religion at Lipscomb University. He was the author of more than 30 books and hundreds of inspirational articles. His commitment to a non-sectarian presentation of the gospel touched countless lives.

Riders in the Storm

phil@heartlight.org (Phil Ware) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 02:00:00 -0500

So what will your focus be in your own personal storms?

For once, I was excited to go see my doctor. Headed into my yearly physical, I had dropped about 25 pounds from the year before and felt great. I couldn't wait to hear what my friend and doc had to say. At least I thought I couldn't wait! My doc said, "Hey Phil, you look great. How did you lose the weight?" I explained and we shared some chitchat. Then, while looking at my neck and feeling my lymph nodes, he said, "So what is that?" About that time he punched around at the bottom of my neck in the little soft spot and I flinched as a twinge of pain shot through me. Then he said, "Oh wow, there are three of them!" This is not what I had expected to hear! I had three small masses that he could see and touch. I could feel a twinge when he poked on each of them. I went from feeling proud and great, to feeling startled and worried, in a matter of minutes. To be honest, I don't remember anything else about the results of that physical except for the end. My doc said, "These feel perfectly round, so I'm hopeful they are simply cysts." Then I asked the dumb question, "So if they are not cysts, what else could they be?" Not a good question and certainly not one he could answer. The sky was the limit on "what else could they be?" We both knew what I was really asking. I was a public speaker. The cysts were near my vocal chords and at the base of my thyroid. For anyone, this would be a scare, but for someone who spoke as his primary livelihood, well, let's just say everything was up for grabs in my heart! The doc's answer was evasive, but better than if he had given me the long list of possibilities for "what else could they be?" "Let's not speculate at this point. I am going to schedule you for an ultrasound and also a thyroid nuclear x-ray. These cysts are small and feel perfectly round, so I'm not all that worried about them; I think they might even go away on their own. While the doc's words were good, this is what I heard, "Oh wow ... three of them ... ultrasound ... nuclear ... worried ... probably ... might?" I trusted my friend. I believed that he was probably right, but I couldn't help but hear the echo of these fearful words in my heart as I tossed and turned several nights before I took the tests and received the results. There have been many other storms in my life since that doctor's visit, and nearly all of them have turned out well when I've finished riding out the storm and come to the calm waters on the other side of the storm. All of us who find ourselves as mortal bags of bones, blood, and skin have to be riders on the storm at different moments in our lives. The real issue in those moments is what we allow our focus to become during the storm. What sounds do we hear and what sights capture our gaze? What do we do when fear overwhelms us and we've grown tired of fighting the storm? How do we know if Jesus is with us when we can't see him and it appears he is far from us? The early followers of Jesus faced storms like we do - theirs may have even been worse than most of us have faced. For them, an event in the life of Jesus was told and re-told to help them find comfort and keep faith in their storms.

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God?" (Matthew 14:22-33 TNIV).

What made this story so powerful to Jesus' early followers was that Jesus had just demonstrated in the feeding of the 5,000 that if his followers would bring him their limited resources and their inability to deal with big problems, then he would make them more than sufficient to face the challenge (Matthew 14:13-21). But like us, they could quickly forget and lose their focus and their faith. Like us, they could listen more to the wind and watch the rolling waves, quickly forgetting the loving concern of their friend, Jesus, who had the power to come to them during the storm and then bring them to safety out of the storm. At some time in each of our lives, we are all going to find ourselves as riders in the storm. How are we going to handle them?

What are some of the storms you have faced in your life?

So when you were in your storm, to whom did you turn for help?

Did you trust Jesus to come and meet you in your storm even though you weren't aware of his presence at first?

Will you look to Jesus in your future storms instead of focusing on the winds and the waves?

Will you take risks to find Jesus in your storms, even if those around do not?

And if you fall in your storms, will you cry out to Jesus to save you?

Do you think it is sometimes necessary to go through storms to discover that the presence of Jesus in your life is real?

My prayer for you is that this story from Jesus' life will become more than just a story for you. I pray it will become a truth that shapes your future as you face your storms and seek to follow Jesus!

About the author: Phil Ware has authored 11 years of daily devotionals, including VerseoftheDay.com, read by 500,000 people a day. He works with churches in transition with Interim Ministry Partners and for the past 21+ years, he has been editor and president of HEARTLIGHT Magazine, author of VerseoftheDay.com, God's Holy Fire (on the Holy Spirit), and aYearwithJesus.com. Phil has also authored four books, daily devotionals on each of the four gospels.

Featured Articles from Heartlight

Feeling Good about Feeling Bad?

Faith in the Dry Seasons

Riders in the Storm