Home and Away Ireland

Dex 4 Marilyn 4 eva

Ailsa — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 17:50:30 +0000

Marilyn was not impressed when she realised Alf and Miles had painted clothes onto Mr. Oddley. However, a bunch of flowers from a “secret” admirer soon took her mind off her puppet pal. Dexter is infatuated with her. Those Walker men have good taste.

The Walker girl is not having much luck in the romance department. Romeo informed her that he’s not ready for another relationship. Maybe next week, Indy.

Elijah exits

Flathead — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:05:32 +0000

As per usual in Summer Bay, a life changing decision is made in the blink of an eye. Elijah woke up and was looking forward to his wedding to Leah. By that same evening he was on his way to a disaster zone in Africa.

Poor Leah. Yet again a fella leaves her. She really is unlucky in love. Two dead husbands, one broken engagement and a son who doesn’t know if he’s human or veejtable. No doubt she’ll bounce back and will have a new suitor in a week or two.

World class acting

Ailsa — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:00:37 +0000

Well, the last scene of that episode was fairly painful. Elijah nearly leapt for joy when he heard of a disaster overseas. His holy instincts are to go and help the needy, but what about Leah? Ah, sod her.

Dr. Shane Given came to town to tempt Rachel away to a life of doctoring in the US of A. Apparently Rachel switched specialties from psychology to surgery. A big leap, one might say.

Who owns this Penn?

Flathead — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:03:11 +0000

Penn is soooo mysterious. He’s more of a man of mystery than Austin Powers. He’s a mass of contradictions. On the one hand he’s a generous benefactor to Tony and the boxing club, on the other he framed Coleen as a thief and set fire to a police car. All the while he’s writing letters to his father and revealed that the whole family used to live in the bay. So that begs the question, who is his father? Can’t say that I have too many ideas but here are a few guess.

Dodge

Revhead

Jessie

Adam

The summer bay Bunyip

Who do you think it could be?

Love games

Ailsa — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:18:10 +0000

Well, romance is blooming in Summer Bay. Marilyn had Dr. Sid stay over after she saw off love rival Nursey Nurse. Whoop!

Ruby kissed Xavier because she is a total wagon. After some sage advice from Tony and some dumb advice from Palmer, Xavier confessed to April, who thought it was grand.

However, Leah appears to be trying to get rid of Elijah. She’s hinted a few times that he might like to go back to missionary work. Does she want to marry him or not, like?

Charlie and Angelo are in the throes of a non-crisis. He has to open his restaurant soon, to a deadline. He should just do barbeque food for the first few days. They’re mad for snags ’round there.

Angelo on XFactor

Ailsa — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 08:21:16 +0000

I thought he was too busy running his restaurant?

Gok Stewart

Ailsa — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:50:30 +0000

Aww did you see Alf giving Marilyn the world’s most reluctant fashion advice? His gruffness belies his kindliness. Lovely.

Marilyn found out about Sid’s meandering mickey. It didn’t seem like she minded too much. No better woman to put manners on him.

The new language teacher is dead foxy and has turned Liam’s head. Ruby won’t like that.

Stewart vs Oddley

Flathead — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:05:18 +0000

Alf welcomed us back to the Bay after a lengthy break with a timely catchphrase, “stone the flamin’ crows”. It’s like they never went away.

Things haven’t gotten any easier for Alf in the intervening period. That pesky doll Mr. Oddley is still wrecking his buzz. Alf tried to kill him but he just wooden die.

The demonic dummy continues to make Alf’s life hell. Marilyn is loving every minute of it but Alf is reaching the end of his tether. I don’t think he’ll be able to take it much longer. The Bay isn’t big enough for the both of them. Mr. Stewart needs to get Mr. Oddley acquainted with dry rot or wood worm ASAP.

Roo returns

Ailsa — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 08:32:58 +0000

Struth has alerted us to the fact that Roo, daughter of Alf and mother of Martha, is returning to Summer Bay. She will be played by a new actress; I love this madness. They did it with Irene, Hayley, Pippa, and who knows how many else.

Bad timing on Roo’s behalf though, her daughter’s just skipped town.

Let’s write our own episode

Ailsa — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 19:38:22 +0000

Right, Home and Away is on a wee break. I think the only course of action is to write our own episode.

I’ll start:

______________________________________________________________________

FADE-IN INT. KITCHEN OF SUMMER BAY CARAVAN PARK – DAY

A HANDSOME MAN enters

CLOSE-UP: Alf Stewart

ALF (calling)

Hello? Hello? Strewth, there’s never anyone around when you flamin’ need them.

MEDIUM SHOT – MILES ENTERS FROM HALLWAY

MILES (mumbling with mouth full of food)

Oh, Alf, what’s with all the commotion?

ALF (hurriedly)

You’ll never flamin’ guess what’s just happened down at the bait shop, come and help or I’ll tan your backside!

______________________________________________________________________

Over to you, there.

Sexy central

Ailsa — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:34:58 +0000

Please play this music while reading this post:

So, Doctor Sid is really back in da house. He valiantly tried and failed to save the life of a young mother, and all of a sudden the nurses love him. One even slinked up to his house and basically offered herself to him on a plate. Oh Doctor!

There’s a new moron in town. French girl’s sister rocked up to Summer Bay on a scooter, in a ballgown. She paused briefly somewhere to remove her helmet, shake out her long blonde hair, and put her helmet on again. Sexy.

She flew directly to the Bay from Milan, bringing only her scooter as hand luggage. Some dastardly Italian had cheated on her, so she ran from their engagement party straight back to Oz. Good call. Liam’s already interested. I hope she looks as well in jeans and a tshirt.

Essential objects of cultural significance: Home and Away

Ailsa — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 08:14:14 +0000

Intrepid reader Saul sent me this. Isn’t it amazing?
I think my favourite item is the stoned crow.

Who was Rory?

From http://turbomonthly.blogspot.com/

Prisoner Cell Block Summer Bay

Ailsa — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 19:13:01 +0000

Ah here, Colleen behind bars? I don’t think I can take it. It’s like the saddest bits of Prisoner Cell Block H. He used to give me roses…

And as for Xavier and his moping about John Palmer moving in, EFF OFF!

A creepy wooden demon who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day

Ailsa — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 19:46:01 +0000

Home and Away is returning into Chuckie Down Under. Mr. Oddley rose from the grave that Alf dug for him in the caravan park. Miles thinks someone is “having a lend of” him. That is one of my favourite phrases ever.

“Bon voyage you little mongrel” said Alf as he threw Mr. Oddley into Summer Bay’s deep waters. But the doll submerged through the magic of the washing machine, where Alf found him spinning.

Dr. Sid and Tony are best buds now because Sid stuck up for girl’s boxing in front of Rachel. Sid better watch out, she’s an annoying enemy to make.

Penn is robbing stuff from the caravan park and roundabouts and framing Colleen. What does he have against her?

Mr Oddley

Ailsa — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 18:44:40 +0000

What a mad episode. Marilyn introduced her ventriloquist’s dummy, Mr. Oddley, to Alf, who had a flashback to when he was five and a puppet scared the bejaysus out of him. Young Alf said “strike me roan” and ran into the arms of his father, who happened to be the mirror image of current Alf. Also, Morag was a little ginger girl who was dressed as a witch – very subtle, Home and Away scriptwriters!

Angelo took a settlement outside of court and as a consequence, he’ll never work as a cop again. He’ll just be Mr. Risotto from now on. Serves him right anyway, for letting a known criminal escape. To mark the occasion, he got locked, lit a bonfire on the beach, and burned his uniform. He also burned his underwear for some reason. Was he wearing police underwear?

Meddling ma

Ailsa — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:54:05 +0000

Elijah’s mam is a right dose. Now she’s telling Leah that Elijah wouldn’t be able for all marriage would throw at him. Eh, he’s a MINISTER. Doesn’t he listen to problems every day? Oh, it’s a masterstroke. No doubt Leah will think she’s right for five minutes, then rebel against her.

Dexter 2.0

Flathead — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 19:21:01 +0000

Why do we need a new Dexter? Maybe the producers didn’t like the previous actor who played Dexter. Fair enough if that’s the case or if he wasn’t available. But it seems that not only have they given us a new actor, but they’ve also given him a personality transplant. His mock Attenbourgh nature documentary was pretty annoying. Sid and Indigo would have been well within their rights to leave him in the bush when their car broke down. He may not survive too long in the bay in anyways. Boring or annoying young chaps often get written out pretty quick ala Henry going off to tap dancing school, Jai leaving for Japan and Lucas fecking off to a writing course after Tony shagged his teacher. I give it six months before Dexter leaves to get a job as a jockey in the Melbourne cup.

Let me be the one…the great Home and Away theme song tribute collection

Ailsa — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 09:19:18 +0000

The H&A theme song is one of those instantly recognisable ditties that will stand the test of time. But which is your favourite version? I thought mine was the Robertson Brothers’ effort, until I came across these little gems. Which would you vote for? Personally, I think they’re all inspired.

Guess who’s back?

Flathead — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 18:21:19 +0000

The Walkers, that’s who. Sid, Indigo and Dexter have returned to the bay. What effect is that going to have on poor Nicole? Sure she has no end of older men to lust after between the good doctor and the mysterious Penn. Ruby is trying to follow Nicole’s example with her own older man obsession. Liam is the object of her affections despite the fact that he’s made it clear he has no interest in her and wants to keep his job. Nice to see somebody in the show act sensibly and use their brain. With those kind of instincts Liam will be made principal in the nest few days, given Summer Bay timescales. From bad boy rocker to small town school principal in 12 months or less.

Great birthday present

Ailsa — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:51:06 +0000

Unbelieveable. Kate Ritchie introducing the Summer Bay weddings of the past. We had a pregnant (with Martha?) Roo running out on Frank, Alf and Ailsa slying off to become man and wife, and Angel miraculously rising from her wheelchair to walk down the aisle. Not to mention Don and Marilyn’s nuptials, and Hayley’s ghost dad giving her away. Hayley was always seeing ghosts. Do yis want a lend?