By now just about everyone and her mother has weighed in on the controversial TIME Magazine cover.  I figured I might as well toss in my two cents for whatever it may be worth.

At first, I wasn’t particularly bothered by the cover.  While I have no intention of breastfeeding my 4 year old, I also don’t have much of an opinion about the issue.  All families are different, and what works for some won’t work for others. Of that I am quite, quite sure.

However, the more I thought about the image of a beautiful young mother standing in defiance as her curious “big boy” nursed, the more annoyed I became.  Not at the woman, but at Time magazine. If an article about attachment parenting is the big news of the week, why not show a mother nursing and nurturing a newborn?  Time wanted to provoke, obviously, but in doing so I feel like breastfeeding took a few steps back.  It can be a contentious issue – breast vs bottle, when to wean, nursing in public, etc – and the photo suggests that the only worthy breastfeeding mother is one who does it for years and years.  I’d rather celebrate the new mothers who are courageously and proudly nursing despite latch problems or bleeding nipples or exhausting cluster feeds at 3 am.  They deserve our encouragement and support (and a feature on the cover of a national publication).

Perhaps what irked me the most about the magazine cover was that Time giddily set off yet another round of the mommy wars.  And, I am SO OVER the mommy wars.  If a blogger or reporter or fellow mom at the playground is talking in a demeaning manner about issues that matter to me, I have every right to tune that person out.  I am not beholden to anyone’s approval other than my own (and, to a large extent, my husband’s). For example, if a fellow mom tells me that cloth diapering is crazy and a huge waste of my time, I will not let her opinion get me down.  If I were genuinely bothered by her comments, then perhaps it means that I am genuinely concerned about my choice.  I am the only person who can make me feel like less of a mother.

I don’t rigidly subscribe to one specific parenting philosophy.  I am a big believer in intuition, and I let my spirit (not a book or blogger or guru) guide me when parenting challenges arise.  Of course I appreciate many of the tenets of attachment parenting as described in the Time article, but our family is in constant motion. Some days are attachment days, and other days are crazy and hectic and stressful.  For us, life is about going with the flow.

Perhaps the best part about living in America is our diversity.  We are a country founded upon freedom of the individual.  With that said, I have no right to cast judgement upon a fellow mother who is making mothering decisions different from my own.  Of course I have an opinion about how to be a parent, but so does everyone else! As far as I’m concerned, as long as parents are loving and respecting their children, they are doing just fine.

Poor little Vivian! She struggles a bit with tummy troubles, and her tears and frustrated expressions break my heart.  I think she has sensitivities to some of the foods I eat, so I’m trying my best to avoid things that I think might be causing her distress.  So far I’ve figured out that Brussels sprouts and beans seem to be culprits, so I’ve cut those out of my diet, and fellow moms have suggested I limit dairy, so that will likely be the next food group to go.

I didn’t experience this issue while breastfeeding Evie and Mack, so Vivian’s fussiness is a new parenting challenge for me.  Here are some ways I soothe Vivian when her tummy troubles take over:

1. Swaddle: Something about the snug security of a good swaddle seems to calm her frazzled nerves.  She settles into my arms and I can easily see her start to relax.  Sometimes she’ll want to suck on a pacifier while I rock her.

2. Tummy Time: Resting on her tummy provides temporary relief for little Viv.  Perhaps its the pressure or maybe its just the change of position, but she calms down for a bit.  Sometimes I’ll lay her on my lap or on my forearm if I think she wants tummy time while being held.

3. Take a Shower: Baby Vivian loves coming in the shower with me, and this seems especially true whenever she has tummy troubles.  The warm water relaxes her tiny body, and she seems to appreciate the extra cuddles and attention she gets when its just the two of us. Plus, she can nurse peacefully while the water gently eases her pain.  Its a special time for both of us.

4. Shushing and Singing: When she’s not especially angry, a gentle “shush” sound helps, as does singing a sweet and simple song.  I often resort to my college’s alma mater because it is very quiet and calming. Whatever works!

How do you handle a fussy or colicky baby?

Kendra is so friendly and genuine.  When she dropped off the meal I felt like I was hanging out with an old friend.  We chatted for a while about healthy cooking, and she told me a bit about how she decided to start her own personal chef and catering business.  She also told me the story of how Fancy Chicken acquired its unique name – “I had girlfriend over for dinner one night and as we’re chatting over wine and some appetizers I was putting dinner together. Toward the end of my preparation of the recipe she asked me what I was making so she could post a picture to Facebook and I replied with an elaborate answer along the lines of ‘Well, it’s roasted chicken over some caramelized sweet potatoes, shallots and garlic which gets tossed with spinach, lemon and parmigiano.’ She looked at me quizzically and replied, ‘Yeah. I’m gonna call it fancy chicken.’  She and I still giggle about it!”

I don’t know how I did it, but I convinced Kendra to share the recipe with me.  This will be an easy go-to dinner for us because I keep most of these ingredients stocked in our kitchen all the time.  Plus, Evie and Mack L-O-V-E-D the entire meal – its a genuine kid-pleaser.

Drizzle Kitchen‘s Fancy Chicken

4 whole chicken legs

4 sweet potatoes, washed well (leave peel on!) and cut into 2” chunks

12 baby shallots or 5-6 large, cut in half

8 whole cloves garlic, peeled

4-5 sprigs thyme

4 cups baby spinach

Juice and zest from 1 lemon

½ cup parmigiano cheese

olive oil

salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 425 and line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.

Place the peeled cloves of garlic, shallots and sweet potatoes on the parchment paper. Give it a good glug of olive oil and toss with your hands to coat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and throw the sprigs of thyme on top.

Lay the chicken legs (skin side down) on top of the vegetables and drizzle with a tiny bit of olive oil, salt and pepper again. Roast at 425 for about 20 minutes, lift up the chicken legs to toss the vegetables around and then replace them right side up. Once fully cooked, remove tray from the oven. Place the chicken legs off to the side.

Place tray back in oven for an additional 10 minutes to finish cooking the sweet potatoes through. Remove from oven. Add the baby spinach to the baking sheet, add the lemon zest and juice over top and sprinkle the parmigiano over it all. Toss with tongs until spinach begins to wilt and everything has a light coating of parmigiano. Lay the spinach/sweet potato mixture in the center of a platter and place the chicken legs on top.

With my first two babies, I didn’t give much thought to nursing wear.  I bought a couple cheap nursing bras at Target, not realizing that if ever there was a time to pamper myself it would be while recovering from delivery and feeding an infant! Neither bra I bought lasted very long – the underwire on one popped out while taking a spin in my mother-in-law’s washing machine (greaaaat!), and the other one was pretty much the opposite of sexy.

Before the arrival of Baby #3, I did a bit of research and I found The Bliss Nursing Bra from Bravado.  It might just be the perfect nursing bra for me.  So soft and comfortable, and its pretty, too.  There is no pesky underwire, but it is still very supportive.  Perhaps the best feature is the subtle thickness of the fabric – it prevents any leaky boob issues that are particularly pesky during the first several weeks of breastfeeding a newborn. Its so freakin’ comfortable that I think I’ll continue wearing it after Vivian transitions to solid foods in a year or so!

http://www.bravadodesigns.com/shop/the-bliss-nursing-bra

For lunch yesterday I came up with a delicious meal that included egg, sweet potato and spinach. Every ingredient is one of our kitchen staples (the egg and sweet potato came from our co-op). The meal came together almost too easily, and I felt satisfied and energized when I finished.  It made a great lunch, but would be an elegant breakfast or a perfect casual dinner.

Sweet Potato Pancake with Wilted Spinach and Egg

butter

1 cup shredded sweet potato with skin on (I grated about half of a medium sweet potato)

olive oil

salt, pepper

1 tablespoon flour

1 small garlic clove, chopped

1 handful baby spinach leaves

1 egg

In a small bowl, combine sweet potato, salt, pepper, flour and a bit of olive oil. Stir well.

Heat a small saute pan over medium heat.  Melt a bit of butter.  Pour sweet potato mixture into the hot pan and form into a pancake.  Press down with the back of a spatula.  Cook for about three minutes, until one side is browned.  Flip (its ok if it comes apart, just do your best to keep it semi-intact).  Once the second side is browned, slide onto a plate.  Set aside.

Add a bit of olive oil to the pan and the garlic.  Cook until the garlic is fragrant (no more than 30 seconds) and drop in the spinach.  Stir until wilted.  Pile onto the sweet potato.

Add a bit of butter to the pan.  Drop in an egg and cook til its done the way you like.  Slide the egg out of the pan and onto the spinach.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper, if desired.