Homeschool Housewife

Seriously?

2012-01-27T19:36:00.005-06:00

Who does this happen to?

Today, I was getting slightly prettied up for park day. You know, new homeschool group and all... You can't go all scrunged up like you would with those people you have known for years.

So, I blowdryed. Put on clothes that matched. Then, moved on to a slight schelacking of my face. I had almost finished and called it acceptable. Just the mascara left. So I got the handy dandy curler... Put it on my lashes and squeezed. And then?

Well, then? I SNEEZED.

And yanked out half my eyelashes.

So now? Every time anyone is polite and makes eye contact?

I am going to be wondering...

Do they notice?

Can they tell?

Am I so lopsided I look like a circus freak?

OR it could be worse... They might think THIS IS HOW I ALWAYS LOOK!! They might NOT notice. And think I am lopsided and half bald on one eye NATURALLY.

Oh the horror.

Pete's sake. WHO DOES THIS HAPPEN TO???

So, keep your chin up bloggy buddies! It could be worse.

You could be a complete and utter dork like me.

Have mercy...

I mentioned the hurt, have I mentioned the love?

2012-01-17T20:11:00.003-06:00

I spoke the other day about some hurt, and some hard. A few days before that about some blessings. But I haven't mentioned the love...

There has been a lot of love.

From my family. Most of all. We have held together with a strength and sureness of purpose that would make my dad proud.

My husband. Dwayne is always there, just how I need him. Angry on my behalf, fielding phone calls I cannot handle, and holding me when I cry.

From my co-workers. These amazing women... I have to tell you, if you do not have a Kim, or a Carol Beth, or a Tara, or a Shawn, or a Char or really any of these ladies in your life? You life is lacking love, prayer, friendship, support, laughter, and just more wonderfulness than you can imagine. They have somehow been used by God to email, text, or IM at the very moment when I needed it. Living all over the country, seeing me only a few times in their entire lives, they have loved on me like you would not believe.

From our neighbors. My family has lived in this house for over 30 years, and many of our neighbors have been here as long or almost as long. Their visits, love, prayer, sweet words, hugs, and even food have been overwhelming. And being able to see in their faces that they loved my dad and will miss him too... It means more than they can know.

From my childhood friends. My very best friend Laurie has been my best friend since I was 5. When I was in the hospital on Friday when we didn't believe Dad would make it through the night I had a list of people to call. I had called the church earlier in the day, so I called the people who needed to know. I called Dwayne, I called work, and then I called Laurie. Even though we had not been able to make schedules work to see each other, had not chatted in months, but she was my person to call. And she was amazing. Days later when my dad passed, she was amazing. In addition to her, friends I have not seen in YEARS have let me know I am loved.

So, the rest I can handle. It isn't easy, and it hurts at a time when I have enough hurt to deal with, but I can handle it. Because I have people who let me know I matter. And for that, because of them, I am blessed.

Facebook is wonderful, but...

2012-01-16T19:05:00.000-06:00

It does not replace a personal relationship. Through the dealing process following my dad's death (not healing, we aren't there yet, we are dealing at this point) I have seen who my friend's are and who my acquaintances are. I have to tell you, it isn't the people I thought it was.

My friends have called, texted, emailed, stopped by, brought food and connected with me personally in large and small ways to help me feel loved. My acquaintances have been wonderful too, they have prayed and commented on Facebook and it was nice. I don't want to minimize those prayers, not one little bit. They got me through the nights at the hospital where I had to sit awake with my Dad. But it doesn't equal friendship.

I know that as a homeschool mom with a limited income it is tough to form and maintain friendships. We are busy, we don't have lots of going out money, and even if WE can work out the free time and the mad money, sometimes our friend's can't. That's ok. I know that I AM jealous of some of those Girl's Night's I see others having, but I am also reconciled to the idea that I am not in that season of life. Where I can go out regularly with friends. That is fine. The way I am handling that is to make it a goal to work toward, and that is enough for now.

It has been hard though sometimes. To not see the people I thought were friends, or hear from them. It has me evaluating some things, considering my perceptions, and contemplating changes. I don't know which changes I will actually do, but I know there will be quite a bit of prayer over the next few weeks. And quite a bit of chatting with Dwayne and the boys over the next few months, to decide where God wants us to be active and present. Mixed in with some evaluation of our own behavior to see where we can grow to be better friends ourselves.

I won't react out of emotion. I have heard that people who are grieving shouldn't make major decisions for a year. I don't know that I will wait that long, but I will give myself time. And give God time to heal my heart and show me where He thinks we belong, and who we belong with.

Until then bloggy buddies? Could I ask you, many of whom know me not at all, to pray? Losing my dad has been hard for us to get a handle on. Especially my mom. We are trying to keep moving forward, but sometimes? Normal is not just hard it is impossible. I have an AWANA lesson on Wednesday I am working on, but at this point I have no idea how I am going to get up there and teach anything... How I am going to just teach my children tomorrow when school resumes... How I am going to start sleeping through the night... And it is even worse for my mom. So, could you pray for peace and calm and strength and even courage? We could use a super sized dose.

Strong? Not especially.

2012-01-11T15:46:00.001-06:00

My daddy passed away yesterday.

I keep looking at that sentence. I don't like it very much. There have been so many blessings through the entire thing, and thinking of them moves me forward.

11 years ago my dad had surgery to repair an aneurysm and it had complications. Really? He should not have survived. He was in the hospital for weeks and lost part of one leg. He fought and made it through months of healing and rehab. To celebrate we went to Walt Disney World.

This is the smile that shows exactly how much my Dad loves Disney. :0) Pluto had just snuck up and given him a BIG OL' kiss.

Because he survived that surgery and all that went with it? He not only got to know my oldest son Tyler, his only grandson at the time, but also my nephew Nick, my son Colby, and my niece Kori.

The only reason Dad went to the hospital is because he was trying to quit smoking and had a nicotine reaction that made him shaky. When the EMT's picked him up he had a low fever. If he hadn't had the reaction, we probably would not have taken him to the hospital for a low fever. I mean really? Who does that? The reaction was the blessing that got him as much care as possible and gave him a fighting chance.
My parents let us know long ago what their wishes were. They had a living directive telling us what they would and would not have us do if things get bad, and how to handle things in their death. Every kid had a copy of all that and their will, so when it was time to make tough choices we knew what to do and there was no disagreeing over it. Since my sisters and brother and I tend to have a million different opinions, this was a true gift.
The nursing staff in the ICU was incredibly kind to us. They allowed us to take shifts so that Dad was never alone. They disregarded visiting hours and shift changes to allow us to be by his side, and they loved on us like you would not believe.
Dad should have passed away Friday night. We were told. We said goodbye, but Dad wasn't really well enough to focus on us or speak. By having those few extra days Dad recovered enough to see us all, allow us to care for and serve him, and tell us all he loved us.
When it was time for God to take my Dad it was extremely quick and painless. He was sleeping, and then he was gone. And I had the blessing of being beside him, holding his hand when he passed.

There are so many more... So many ways God loved on us all during this time. And when I freeze up, I start counting. I start listing. And it makes it... Easier? Better? No. Maybe possible. Yeah, possibly possible.

People keep saying how strong I am because I can put words together on Facebook, or because I was able to call my family, or because I am not crying all the time. Or maybe they say my faith is strong. I don't know that I am strong. I don't feel it. My faith IS strong, I can't imagine it not being. I can't imagine getting through this without faith, that it isn't all meaningless. How would that look? To lose someone you love and not know where they are going, or to believe that everything is random? To believe that all the blessings are luck or happenstance? I can't imagine.

So, strong? Me? Not especially. But God is, and He is holding me up just fine.

The best laid plans of mice and men...

2012-01-06T23:21:00.002-06:00

Or even homeschool moms...

I thought today I would find some time to post a bit of a flashback. A drama free post. And instead I am sitting in the waiting room of the ICU, crying and praying that my Daddy makes it through the night.

He was in the hospital, but doing better. And then he was BAD. Just in the blink of an eye.

And now the doctors don't know that he will be here in the morning. I can't hardly imagine a world without my Dad in it. Who will call me on all my crap? Who will love my boys and check on them so often it gets annoying? Who will call my Tyler his #1 grandson? Who will teach Colby in the continuation of his ornery lessons? Who will turn down the boy's bed each night? Or remind us when it is Tuesday at 7 and time to watch NCIS? Cause that is my Dad's stuff.

Wednesday night I did a lesson on the difference between prediction and prophesy. I did it because the whole 2012 thing is getting big news. The last verses I had the kids read was Matthew 24:36-44

“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Then two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left.Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one left. Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into.Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect."

Reading that? The thing that really stuck? Not even JESUS knows when He will return. Fully God, but He is just waiting on the Father to tell Him. Sitting here tonight, I don't know why that comforts me.

I don't know that tonight God will call my Daddy home, I hope He won't. But I know that if He does, then it is because it is time. And God's time, while it might seem hard or wrong? It is always best. So we will pray, and rest in Him who is in control of it all. And be thankful that through His Son, we are able to speak our prayers directly to Him and be heard.

Time to catch up.

2012-01-06T00:42:00.001-06:00

Just a fair warning! One of my "resolutions" is to try and catch up on here. I actually DO go places and do things with my kids. And I DO homeschool. And there is other stuff besides the drama and the tests of faith. But I get busy, and I don't post.

Don't get me wrong, I have ALWAYS wanted to. Because a bazillion years from now, or you know like 4, when I need to look back a bit this is what I will have. I mean, let's be realistic. As much as I WANT to scrapbook? It is not going to happen until I quit homeschooling, my children move out, I stop volunteering at church, quit my job, and possibly hire a maid and a lawn guy. Oh yeah, and do that PeaPod thing where they deliver the groceries. Which means really? I have to win the lottery. And I have better chance of getting struck by lightning. SO, this is what I am going to TRY to do. Post stuff here. Like regularly.

I KNOW. Blog regularly. What a unique concept! Whatever is the world coming to?

Hopefully it lasts past February 1st. Cause that would be good.

Anyway, I issue the warning because if you subscribe? You might get some hinky blogs. Like maybe posts from 5 years ago with Colby all little and cute and you will think, wait... Why does Michele look so YOUNG? And VIBRANT? And less wrinkly??? (BOY! Do I wish I could say skinny!) And you need to know ahead of time, I will still be my old, tired, wrinkly self when you see me in person.

Time warps happen on blogs. Not so much in real life. :0(

My Honey Girl...

2011-12-29T23:55:00.000-06:00

In 1996 my husband Dwayne and I were engaged and had just bought our first house.

We had 3 dogs already, but when I went into the pet store I saw this little girl, and knew I wanted her to come home with us.

I know what you are thinking.

WHO ON EARTH WANTS 4 DOGS????

Well, see we already had a black pug, and he was SO amazing. Adding another seemed reasonable. I think it was because we didn't have kids yet. Because now? Years later? The idea of paying hundreds of dollars for a fourth dog sounds like insanity. But we did it, and I never regretted it.

Honey was all mine. She wasn't as ornery as our other pug, she never ran off and had us chase her for fun. She was always my shadow. Following right at my heels and ready to snuggle up next to me when I sat down. If I was sick? She would stay in bed all day with me. Never asking to go out, or jumping down to eat. She just came to us knowing her place was beside me.

When she had puppies? She would go and feed them and then come and want to get up on the bed with me. I had to sleep on the floor next to the kiddie pool the puppies were in so that she would stay close to them. She was a wonderful mother, but she wasn't willing to give me up to do it.

In 1998 she and I became pregnant at the same time. But she had 12 puppies and there were too many. They didn't survive. We had her fixed right after that. The vet told us to expect that she might mourn. She didn't.

She just adopted my son, Tyler as her own.

If Tyler took a nap on his blanket on the floor? Honey was beside him. When Tyler was trying to roll over? Honey let him grab her fur and tugged him the last of the way. She was the best second mom a 14 pound dog can be.

In the years since, Tyler has grown. Colby has been born, and Honey has stayed by my side. Slept in my bed and been my constant companion. She has been my little girl in a house full of boys.

But the last year has been hard. Really a little before that. She has been deaf about 2 years now, but less than a year ago she decided she didn't want to sleep in our bed any more. It was just to far away from the back door, the water bowl, and the food. Her vision has been fading and I think she worried she would get lost. Now, she sleeps in a dog bed next to the electric fireplace.

But that isn't all. She has arthritis. Espeically bad in her back and hips because she had hip surgery as a puppy. She has lost most her teeth and has to slowly eat canned dog food. And every time she goes out back she gets lost and barks so we know to come get her. She has lost control of her bladder and bowels and has trouble getting comfortable.

So, we are having her put to sleep in the morning. We talked to Tyler about it, and I told him that it was the best way to love her. Not to make her linger and hurt any more. But tonight? I don't want to. I don't want to let go. I don't want to be fair, or responsible. I just want to take her into my bed and have it be the way it was.

I know she is "just a dog," I know it is the loving thing to do. But tonight? I don't care, and my heart feels like it is breaking. Sometimes? Doing the right thing sucks.

Magical Memories Monday: Disney Hawaiian Style

2011-10-24T09:00:00.000-05:00

In 2001 we took an evening away from the parks to head over to Disney's Polynesian Resort for the Hawaiian Luau dinner show. Now since then it has of course been updated, but even then it was a wonderful show.

Let me apologize now for the picture quality.

This is back when I had a 35 mm film camera, and zoom was grainy! :0)

There were dancers, music, and fire throwers and they were all so talented!

The show kept us all completely captivated.

Tyler at age 3 had a fabulous time. Below you can see him after he stole everyone's lei and again showing off his giraffe tattoo. :0)

The food was WONDERFUL. It started with a delicious bread similar to what is served at Kona and O'hana, but with pineapple in it, a lovely salad, and fresh pineapple. Like many other family style restaurants at Walt Disney World, the Luau is all you care to eat so when the pineapple was gobbled up our server brought more.

The main course was a rotisserie style chicken, ribs, fried rice, and broccoli.

One of the Magical Memories from this dinner was the broccoli. I know, right? Broccoli??? What is magical about that? Did it make me skinny? Did it grow a beanstalk when I hid it in my napkin? Was it especially delicious?

Well, no. But see, Dwayne and I are not big veggie people. We only like green beans, corn, potatoes, salad, and raw veggies like carrots, peppers and things. Broccoli is really not something that happens in our house. So Tyler had never experienced it. Ever.

When he saw it he even asked what it was. And then he asked if he liked it. Well, since I try really hard not to make my children have my same tastes and dislikes, I told him yes. Yes he DID like it.

And you know what? I was RIGHT! He DID! He ate all the broccoli on this plate and asked for MORE! He still loves it to this day. Disney magic has children eating VEGETABLES!

Dwayne and I however? Well we abstained. We, well, uhh... We wanted to save it for Tyler? Yeah! That's it! All about the cute kid! Nothing to do with my desire to avoid veggies. :0)

Then came the very best part. Dessert! Disney always does dessert right and this dinner was NO exception. Delivered on a tray that had a volcano in the center the cake was a big hit.

All in all it was such a fun night! A wonderful break from the parks and something we cannot wait to repeat.

Apparently we need some rules around here

2011-10-15T16:20:00.001-05:00

********** I wrote this a few months ago. Because sometimes you have to just GET IT OUT. Before you explode. I was asked not to post it at that time because it seemed argumentative. But now, in a calm and rational frame of mind? I am posting. This is no longer aimed at any single person, or any group, but the rules still stand. And I think rules are important enough to share. That way you KNOW if you break one. I wonder... What are YOUR rules?

Somehow there has been an idea develop that anyone can say anything at any time about the way I live my life and that it is ok. Because I tolerate it with a pretty high level of kindness.

I now find myself in the position of correcting this belief. Because really? It is just not ok. And really? My ability to be nice has about run out.

See I have a pretty bad temper and a very small, poorly made filter between my mouth and my brain. And all the crap I am NOT saying has been piling up against the filter until the poor thing is about broken and smashed.

SO, here are the new ground rules.

You may not tell me how to parent my children. Especially if you never see them and don't know them. My kids are FINE. (Just ask them!) And it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
You may not tell me the many reasons why you don't think I should homeschool. Because YES I am qualified. I was raised by a public school teacher (who currently LIVES with my children and me), have an IQ of 165, did well in school when I was there, know my children better than anyone, and have them more of a desire to see them succeed in life than anyone else. They are MY children. You don't care more about their future than I do. When in question refer to rule number 1.
If you are in my family? Or even my friend more than you are his? You may not say anything ugly to my husband. You may come to me, and politely tell me what you think. Don't start crap with him. Because I hold him back when YOU are a moron (that happens more than you think) or when you treat me bad and enough is enough. Don't make me quit telling him to hush. You don't want to know what he REALLY thinks.
You should not judge me by your convoluted idea of what kind of person my faith makes me. Your relationship with God is YOURS, mine is MINE. Do not assume that I have a stick up my butt about every little thing you do, every drink you drink, every party you attend. I don't. I am not morally against drinking, although I rarely do it. I LIKE having a good time. And really? I could care less how you live your life until it begins to infringe upon how I live mine.
I do not leave my children with strangers. Ever. They are the most precious thing in my life and I treat them like that. I would not trust my diamond ring with a stranger, why on earth would I trust my children with one? The only acceptable baby sitters are select members of family and a few good friends. If you don't agree with that, that is fine. You may leave your children with whomever you like. Please refer to rule number 1.

In general, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't talk to me. Don't call, don't Facebook, don't email. I don't want to hear it. You may feel free to complain to your friends about me, especially if I don't know them.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration. Please know these rules are steadfast and will not change, but Dwayne and I as the management team DO reserve the right to add to this list whenever we see fit or you piss me off again.

Have a nice day! :0)

I can't fix it but it bothers me...

2011-10-07T17:45:00.000-05:00

I am seeing a disturbing trend among Christians. Some I personally know, some are on TV. There is this ideal that if we don't agree with everything a company or person does than they are not worth our time and don't deserve our money.

In the last month I have received emails from people asking me to boycott both Disney and Home Depot because they support homosexuality. A year ago it was Target and it has been all manner of different places through the years. And I get it, a little. It would be similar to buying stock in Phillip Morris if you are against smoking. But really, not. Because the stock you buy is a private decision, we rarely send out emails telling people which stock to buy, and also it really isn't a daily choice of one company over another. I mean if I don't go to Home Depot, I go to Lowes, if not Target than Walmart. But is Walmart better? Lowes? Probably not.

It seems like the world is running from one boiling pot to another, trying to make a difference, but it doesn't. By boycotting these companies we are not going to change their policy, we are just going to make ourselves look inflexible and holier than thou. Which I guess some of us are. You know some of those people right? Can't be just me.

And I look back to the way Jesus behaved. You know when he went into Samaria, he shouldn't have. All the "good" Jews would have avoided that place. Those people didn't do religion right. They intermarried, they lived lives of sin, they didn't follow the law. But Jesus not only traveled through, He stayed a while. Now, He didn't say they were right, and I am sure if they had a big ol' gay rally in the middle of town He wouldn't have been in the square with a sign. Come to think of it, I don't think He would have had a sign and been shouting against it either. People were convicted, just by being around Him.

Compare that to us. If we boycott these businesses, what message are we sending? Even if you say we are sending a message to the homosexuals, what message? That we hate you? Whoever one anyone to Christ by screaming hate? Cause that is what it is. Certainly isn't love. And what message are we sending to the average guy who makes his living at Home Depot? If he is a Christian, should he quit? It is hard.

I think that we as Christians are absolutely called to be different. A higher level of responsibility. Maybe we shouldn't be so judging of others while we do it though? Just a thought.

Magical Memories Monday: Being in the PARADE!

2011-10-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

On Saturday we had a wonderful breakfast at O'hana and headed over to Animal Kingdom for the day. Before leaving home I had made matching shirts for our entire family. Black shirts with Mickey Heads in animal prints. They were super easy and turned out cute. You can see the kids in theirs here.

When we arrived at Animal Kingdom we stopped to say Hi to some characters outside the main gate. All of us were wearing our Ultimate Field Trip buttons, and they set off a conversation with the cast members that were there supporting the characters. They asked all about UFT, complimented me on our shirts, and asked how many people were in our group.

The next thing you know we were being asked to be in the parade!!!

We were told to meet at a gate over near Kilimanjaro Safari about 45 minutes before the parade was to start. They took us back stage where we were allowed to put all our things into lockers and were outfitted with vests and Mickey hats.

Then they loaded us on to our floats. Cole was SO EXCITED! Brer Rabbit was RIGHT next to us and of course he is from Splash Mountain, Cole's FAVORITE ride. :0) We waited just a bit for the parade to start, but before long we were ON OUR WAY!

Mom and Dad were on the lead float with Rafiki. Now I have to tell you, Dad was a little miffed that we forced him to do this. He wanted to go see the Lion King Stage show. But once he was up there? Waving to the kids? He had a great time!

My family was just a little further back on the Gator float.

We had a wonderful time being a part of the parade. Waving to the kids was my favorite part, but it was also amazing to me how long those parades are! The cast members and characters keep up this high level of energy through the whole thing, and I can tell you, your arm gets TIRED! :0) It made me appreciate all they put into the show when we are in the crowd.

This picture of Dwayne makes me laugh. I have NO idea what that face is about.

Ryan, Stacy, and Kori were on the Tiger float further back. They liked it too, but Kori did say despite the ear plugs they provided she thought it was loud. :)

Having this opportunity was truly a MAGICAL memory and since most of our family had just arrived the night before, it was a fabulous beginning to our family trip. All because of matching t-shirts and our Ultimate Field Trip button... I cannot WAIT until next year!

Teenage Talks

2011-09-28T21:49:00.002-05:00

I had the best talk with Tyler in the car on the way home tonight. He said, "Do you think as Christians we maybe judge people too much?"

The question came because there are a couple of kids that have a bad name at our church. Before we ever visited Gateway they had been labeled the "bad kids." Now to my knowledge they don't drink, do drugs, steal, or anything really BAD. They just don't always sit quietly and behave. That has, from what Tyler has told me caused them to be the first to get in trouble if something is going on. And at times? It isn't even them.

The name they have made for themselves is known by all the adult workers, so that when they go into a new classroom? Well they are never given a fresh start, never given a clean slate. And it bothers Tyler just a little.

Tonight I had to talk to their sister. See she was one of my AWANA girls last year, and while she is spirited and has a similar reputation to that of her brothers? I LOVE HER. Is she perfect? No. But then not one of my girls is. But she is exuberant and fun and kind. Sadly her parents are unsure if she will be allowed to continue AWANA or if her brothers will be allowed to go to Youth. And at least part of that is because of the reputation that has been bandied about and how they are treated because of it.

And it is sad. Because that shouldn't be what we are like. We shouldn't judge. Not even in the face of evidence. We should love.

You know Jesus didn't tell people what they were doing wrong in general. He waited and let THEM TELL HIM. He asked some leading questions when He knew they would be effective, but that was done as a Savior who could read their heart. But when He was standing at the well? He didn't tell the Samaritan woman all she was doing wrong. He let her come to Him. When we decide what someone is doing is wrong, even for biblical reasons and we treat them differently because of it. Or even worse gossip about their short falls? Well we are acting more like a Pharisee than Jesus. And that is NOT who were are supposed to be emulating.

Know someone who is living in sin? Love them anyway. Know someone who says they are saved, goes to church, and is maybe even in ministry and is living wrong? Love them anyway.

The bible is VERY CLEAR about what we should do if we see a brother sinning. We should quietly talk privately urging them to change. If they will not hear us, then we should get a small group of believers and approach them again. Privately. We should not gossip, we should not decide how to punish them, cause that is just not our job. And if it is a child? Possibly an unbeliever? Well then we should understand they are young, they aren't held accountable to the same laws we are, and we should just love them. And hope that they see Jesus in us enough to want to come back again and again.

I am so proud of Tyler for seeing and knowing the wrongness when he saw it. And what a great talk we got to have because of it! So tonight I am going to pray that these kids come back next week. They need us, they need God, they need a loving church home, and we sure need them right back.

Magical Memory Monday: Magic Kingdom with My Boys

2011-09-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

This year the boys and I went to Walt Disney World a few days before Dwayne in order to be there for The Ultimate Field Trip. We arrived Monday just in time for the Mega Meet at the Polynesian, and the next day the boys and I got up bright and early to enjoy a day together at Magic Kingdom.

We arrived just in time to see the Magic Kingdom say Good Morning. This is just the best way to start your trip! The boys had never seen it before (have I ever mentioned early morning is not my friend?) and LOVED IT!

This is my Tyler with Colby on his shoulders.

I don't think it is possible to be happier than this!! :0) In Magic Kingdom? Even brothers can get along!

After we said Good Morning we headed up Main Street to the Bakery for breakfast. Because if you are going to get me up early enough for park opening? I will not probably get breakfast done too. Plus the Bakery is AWESOME.

I mean LOOK AT THIS!

This is the Main Street Bakery Cinnamon Roll.

YUM!!!

I know what you are thinking...

Is it REALLY that big?

Yes, yes it is.

It is HUGE. And delicious, and ONLY COSTS A SNACK CREDIT!!!

It was so big in fact that Colby had trouble taking a bite!

A knife and fork probably would have worked best, but HEY! This is Disney World. Where Cinnamon Rolls are made for giants and you get to eat with your hands and lick your fingers when you are done. :0)

After breakfast we headed over to Tomorrowland! The boys and I braved some pretty heavy rain to enjoy Stitch's Great Escape, Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin, Carousel of Progress, and Space Mountain.

We got wet, but we had fun! Being with my boys, being able to be the fun mom... Well it doesn't happen all that often. But at Walt Disney World it does. And that is why I look forward to going back again and again.

After we finished up Tomorrowland we headed toward Fantasyland to meet my parents for lunch and some Philharmagic. It was a wonderful day, and just the perfect beginning to our trip. I can't wait to go back! Just 10 1/2 more months!! :0)

Choosing perspective...

2011-09-21T21:50:00.002-05:00

A while ago a friend called me, he had been reading my Facebook wall and his comment was something like that I seemed happy. That reading back, it seemed like I was doing really good. And that he was happy for me.

And I AM. I am doing good. Is life perfect? Nope. Is every day filled with joy and wonder? Nope. Not hardly. But I think for me I just reached a point where I couldn't keep doing it the way I had been.

In the spirit of keeping it real and probably oversharing I am going to tell you... I tend to have problems with depression. I have ALWAYS fought with it. I worry, I stress, I feel alone, I get sad, and then I just want to hide in my room and read book after book. If I didn't have kids and responsibilities? I would just hide from the world for months at a time. But I DO have kids, and they like to do things like you know... Eat. MORE THAN ONCE A DAY! So I get up. But even then I am not at my best. I am existing, and it seems like at times I am slogging through mud with each step and I really want to just go hide again. I am doing what I have to do so I can go back to bed. And that is just not good.

I still have problems with it, but I decided a while ago that in the midst of it all I was going to focus on the positives. Cause even if my husband loses his job and we lose our house, and my kids are acting like horrible heathens and I am overloaded and feel like the entire world hates me and nothing will ever be good again? There is probably still something to be thankful for. Like the fact that I have a husband who will never give up looking for a job, or who won't just abandon us in hard times. Or the fact that my children, while they are behaving horribly they are healthy and whole. And if I focus on that? Well sometimes it helps. It helps me remember that God has not abandoned me.

So I am choosing to look for the good. It isn't always easy, it is a choice. I will fail sometimes, others I will fake it until I make it. And hopefully it helps and makes me a better woman, wife and mom.

Magical Memory Monday: Hunting with the Hidden Mickey Guy!

2011-09-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

Typically the first day of the Ultimate Field Trip is all about the Mega Meet, but this year? Oh it was SO COOL! We had the chance to meet up with the Hidden Mickey Guy Steve Barrett and have a personal tour of the Polynesian Resort.

Above you see him with all the 3D ladies and Jodi Whisenhunt of Magical Mouse Schoolhouse. To the right you see him with all the kids. Believe me when I tell you the kids were JUST as excited as the grown ups! Hidden Mickey's are fun!

This is the Hidden Mickey the back of the Tiki's (shown in both pictures) head. And just the first of many Steve showed us in the Polynesian Resort.

Then we headed up the stairs where these were pointed out. Here is where it is good to know the "rule" about Hidden Mickeys. Generally, they should be 3 circles, the head circle should be bigger than the ears, and all 3 circles need to be touching. So while there are LOTS of circles here, there are only a few Hidden Mickeys.

The next place he led us was the resort check in desk. There are a series of paintings behind the cast members, but I am only going to show you one. This one has FOUR hidden Mickey's in it. (Want to find them in the other painting? Ask the Cast Member! They can often help.)

Ok, I zoomed in to help you see these. In the painting there is an out cropping of rock. On the left hand side of this picture you will see 3 grey circles toward the bottom of the rocks. Then almost directly below that there is a 3 brown rocks that form an upside down Mickey. Continue to the right in a straight line and there is a rock with a dark grey Mickey forming the top. UP and over to the right again, near the bottom of those palm fronds is the 4th and last Mickey in grey.

Did you see them?

Imagine the excitement of seeing them IN PERSON.

With the guy who researches THOUSANDS.

AMAZING!!!!

My kids and I had a MAGICAL time exploring the Polynesian with Mr. Barrett. He and his wife were beyond gracious and it was a pleasure to spend this special time with them. We will think of this memory every time we spot a Mickey hidden in the parks.

Are YOU interested in searching for Hidden Mickeys? Check out Steve's book!

You can purchase it online at Amazon or Barnes and Noble

or even on property at Walt Disney World!

You can also find Steve at his website and on Facebook & Twitter.

Seeing who my kids REALLY are...

2011-08-22T17:38:00.001-05:00

One of the things I absolutely love about homeschooling is the opportunity to go and do things with my children that allow me to see who they really are. Of course, the flip side of that is I get to see them at their worst too, but the chance to see them shine outweighs that by so much it is hardly even a blip on my radar.

Last week I was blessed to be able to see Tyler participate in the Nerf Dart Tag Championship. Something I should start by saying about Tyler is, he is BIG. Like 5 foot 10 inches tall, size 13 shoe big. At 12. And he is still growing right along. But then he has ALWAYS been big. At 2 he was tall enough to ride the 40" rides at Disney World. At 3 he was big enough for Space Mountain (44")... What he has NOT always been is athletic. He has my grace and agility, which is to say none.

But he was chosen to be a part of this team based on his answers to 2 essay questions. In fact? Out of 23,000 entries? He was one of the top 64 in the country. (Can you tell I am a little proud????) :0) So, off to Orlando we flew and I got to watch him compete.

He did REALLY well. He was quick and focused and right on point guarding his flag. But, in the end? It wasn't enough. His team was eventually eliminated. I knew he was disappointed, but really thought he was doing ok. He was a GREAT sportsman and I saw him patting guys from other elminated teams on the back and saying encouraging things.

It wasn't until we were finished getting the professional pictures looked at and ordered, and had made the drive back to the resort that I had any idea he was REALLY upset. I mean, of course I expected him to be, but he just wasn't showing it. Even on the bus, while he talked about some things that were frustrating like a certain call by the ref or a blaster jamming at a crucial moment, he still seemed to be taking it well.

But when we got into the room and the resort door closed he just crumpled. Just broke down. And for about 30 minutes he let his disappointment and frustration come out. He said some things he didn't mean, and let it all out. I was blessed to be there for it because it let me tell him over and over how proud I was of him. Of all he had done to get there, of his hard work in the arena, and most of all his behavior after it was all said and done. And it really didn't take long for him to bounce back and start remembering all his blessings.

This is him just a few hours after we left Wide World of Sports. He is moving on and embracing the fun of our next adventure. We had a fabulous time, just the 2 of us riding rides and exploring Walt Disney World for the evening.

Raising a preteen is tough, and I have to tell you, I don't always to a great job. I lose my cool a LOT, I am not as understanding as I could be, and I am horrible at picking my battles. All battles should be fought right? But sometimes, when I see what an amazing man Tyler is turning out to be? Well it makes all the hard times worth it. And it makes me think, maybe I'm not doing it ALL wrong after all.

Magical Memories Monday: The Nerf Dart Tag Edition

2011-08-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

My oldest son Tyler is 12, and absolutely loves ALL things Nerf. He loves Nerf like I love Disney, and honestly? Well that is a LOT of love. :0)

Last year Tyler entered to win something with Nerf, they sent me an email (I get a lot of these emails!) asking permission, and I granted it. Months later we were surprised with a box the size of the ones Christmas trees come in full of Nerf treasures. Blasters, swords, battle axes, basketball, flag football, and more filled his box of dreams. So, this year when Tyler asked to enter something again I said yes, and the email came again. This time I was surprised to see that Tyler had been required to answer 2 essay questions, and he had done a GREAT job!

Now you have to remember, I am his mom, sure! But I am ALSO his homeschool teacher! And I have to tell you, Tyler had been hiding is writing skills under a bushel! But, really I thought that was all that would come of it. A proud mom moment.

A few months later we got a FedEx letter telling us he was in the top 200 chosen for his age group. Along with lots of legal documents to be filled out there was also a letter saying if he was chosen for the team we would receive a call August 1st. Again, I cautioned him not to get his hopes up, but secretly we were REALLY excited! Those chosen for the teams would be flown out to Disney's Wide World of Sports to compete!

When the call came, the joyous happy dancing in our house would have made you laugh. I think Tyler could have won the lottery and been less excited! Tyler’s written answer was chosen out of 23,000 to be in the top 64!!! So, last Thursday Tyler and I boarded a plane to Orlando for 3 days.

We checked in at All Star Sports, and headed over to the baseball section!

Admittedly, my child is a little wacky when he is excited.

After checking in with the Nerf organizers we headed over to get something to eat.

Tyler just had to stop for a quick picture. :0)

We were STARVING so the smells of the End Zone Food Court were WELCOME INDEED! Once I saw the pricing? It made me long for the dining plan we will have when we return in September! WHEW!

Really? Not all that bad for the quality and quantity of food, but STILL.

Tyler ordered the Hot Italian Sandwich and I ordered the Chicken Penne Alfredo.

We of course got the resort mug. Drinks at the resorts are $2.50 each, and even for a short trip that can easily add up to the $14 a resort mug costs. Plus it makes a wonderful souvenir!

After enjoying our meal we spent some time looking around the resort shop. This is what shopping with Tyler looks like when we shop…

Then it was time to head over to Wide World of Sports for orientation!

The event was being held in the HP Field House. It was an AMAZING facility! So beautiful! Absolutely as nice (while it is smaller of course) as the major league stadiums and things I have been in, maybe better.

And once we got inside and saw the what Nerf had designed to be the arena? AWESOME just doesn’t describe it! For a Nerf lover? This is the equivalent of Cinderella’s Castle. :0)

And this is what happy looks like!

Nerf gave everyone a pizza dinner and allowed the teams time to meat each other and strategize for the next day. Then they showed them the practice facility where they would be allowed to warm up and try out the 4 different guns they could choose from when they competed the next day.

After that they took them down in groups of 3 to be able to see the arena. These kids were so excited to get in there and run around. And this arena was amazing! Seeing it up close, being able to run around it just brought the reality and excitement to an even higher level.

This is Tyler with one of the Refs. All the Nerf and Hasbro people were so great with the kids!

Sharing this trip with Tyler? Just the 2 of us? It was so amazing! I mean I have to tell you, I know very little about Nerf, and never play, but being able to support Tyler in his dreams? Well it was just the most magical Disney thing ever!

The next morning we woke up about 8, got dressed and headed to the food court for breakfast. Tyler had the Western omelet and I OF COURSE had a Mickey Waffle. The Mickey Waffle is one of my favorite things about the All Star Resorts. POP Century is wonderful, but it has the POP waffle… I need me some Mickey in the morning!!

Then it was just time to wait. And wait. We didn’t have to report to the bus until 11:20. Tyler was about to go NUTS! :0) I just did some client work. :0)

Then it was FINALLY time! We headed over to Wide World of Sports and again I was blown away by the quality of this facility!


Tyler did a great job, competed and did his best, but sadly his team was defeated. I was SO blessed to see his sportsmanship and how he dealt with the disappointment. He impressed the HECK out of me!

After the event we had several hours in the parks, Disney’s Hollywood Studios followed by Extra Magic Hours at Magic Kingdom. We had the BEST TIME!! Just me and my oldest child, acting like kids and embracing the magic of Disney with every step!

Now we are planning our return as a family for The Ultimate Field Trip! We leave in just 13 days!!!!! And then I will have TWO WHOLE WEEKS to enjoy attractions, eat delicious food, hug a bunch of characters and take a million pictures. Until then? Have a MAGICAL DAY!!!

Magical Memory Monday: The 9/11 Edition

2011-08-15T18:28:00.000-05:00

In 2001 we planned to go to Walt Disney World for almost 2 full weeks in September. My husband Dwayne's parents would fly in for a long weekend in the middle and have a chance to experience some Disney magic with our son.

The trip started off with a bang. 2 flat tires from something on the highway as we crossed the bridge from Texas to Louisiana! We were blessed to get them fixed rather inexpensively and get back on the road with just a few hours lost. And Tyler remembers being able to work the tow truck controls to this day.

We arrived September 9th and were having a great time. Dwayne's parents were due to fly in the 12th. Then the unthinkable happened.

September 11th was our first day at Hollywood Studios (then MGM), we got there about 9:30. (Have I mentioned that we never make park open???) We stood in line, got a stroller, and while waiting heard people chatting about cancelled flights. Since I was working at the Disney Store in our local airport, I had heard lots of complaining about cancelled flights. So I blew it off. After all some people just like to complain. And really? Weather happens sometimes! We made our way through the park, chatting happily and decided to go to the first showing of the Beauty and the Beast stage show.

BUT, there had to be a pit stop. Tyler was not quite 3 and had just conquered potty training. At Disney there are lots of things that are fun, and it is easy to put off going potty until it is too late, so Dwayne took him "just in case." I stood on the corner across the street from the theater with the stroller waiting for them. While I was waiting I heard people talking about a plane crashing into a building and asked for details.

Information was sketchy at this point. After all we were at Disney, and Smart Phones hadn't been released yet. People who knew what was going on had received information from people calling from home. This group knew 2 planes had crashed into the World Trade Center, and that some flights had been cancelled. They were calling it a terrorist attack.

When Dwayne came back, I told him and we somewhat woodenly took Tyler into the show.

During the show, you could see the crowd was whispering among themselves. Children watched the show, but adults seemed to be spreading the news. After the show ended a Disney representative came out and said something like "Due to events that took place this morning, all Disney parks are closing for the day. Please return to your resort and check your room phone for more information." They didn't give any details about what had happened. From what I remember though, it looked like most people knew or had some idea.

I have to say that it was honestly the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me. People calmly walked out of the park. No pushing, very little talking, just thousands of people calmly exiting the park. As we left Disney had Cast Members passing out tickets to everyone to use another day, even though at that time most had a length of stay pass.

We went back to the hotel and this is what we saw on the TV...

We couldn't just sit and watch. Tyler was so little, and we couldn't just sit and see the news show these images over and over with him because in a hotel room there just isn't really much to do. He couldn't go play, or watch a movie in another room. So we spent the day doing a little laundry and playing in the pool and had dinner at Boma. But for Dwayne and I? We traded off watching and listening to hear more about what was unfolding, and how our nation was dealing with it.

The rest of our trip we were just SO impressed by Disney. We heard numerous stories of how they gave greatly discounted or free hotel for those stranded because the planes were grounded. They gave park tickets and encouraged them to go and try to have fun, rather than wait for flights to open up. Disney helped arrange transportation, watched flights, and did all they could to make people feel safe and taken care of. All in a time when they had to be seeing the beginning of the losses that would take years to recover from. After all, no one was checking in! People couldn't get home, but they couldn't get to Disney either! Dwayne's parents couldn't come, because like thousands of others, they couldn't get flights. Disney helped them to reschedule their trip for the following May, and could not have been nicer to deal with.

You know reading back on this post, it strikes me how it seems so bulleted! Like there were steps to the process. I don't know why that is. Maybe the shock of the day?

On the 12th the parks reopened, and it was time for Epcot. That afternoon we were at the American Adventure pavilion listening to Voices of Liberty sing. Hearing their voices soar with songs of patriotism and pride? There wasn't a dry eye in the room. There was never a question that life would move on, that we would rebuild, and go on stronger. Not when you could hear those songs and remember where our country came from.

This year when we return to Walt Disney World we will be there for the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. (Not on purpose) I am sure Disney won't be celebrating it, it really isn't something to celebrate. But I know for my family, that day? Well our memories will be of a day that should have been terrifying, of a week that should have been filled with worry over what would come next. But because of the magic of Disney, their incredibly high level of guest service? Well it just made us feel safe and cared for. And seeing them work magic in so many of those around us? Just another memory of how great Disney really is.

2011-08-08T09:00:00.000-05:00

The last time my parents went to Walt Disney World with us my dad had just had major surgery that had not gone well. We did not know it at the time, but complications from the surgery on his aorta would later cause him to lose his foot and part of his leg. At the time of our vacation all we knew was that we were blessed to have him alive and with us, and that for the time being he could not put pressure on his foot. That meant most of his time was spent in a wheelchair, but he could do a walker for short distances.

Still, we wanted to take this trip together. It was Tyler's first trip to Disney World and honestly just a celebration that my dad was still with us.

At Sea World and a few days in Walt Disney World my dad rented an ECV. This was by far the best way to go, but at $50 a day, just not something we could do the entire week. (For our trip this year we are renting an ECV for the entire length of our stay from an outside company and not paying near as much per day! Ask me how I can help with this!)

The entire trip was full of Magical Moments for us. My dad had a wonderful time, we all enjoyed being with Tyler as he experienced HIS first dose of Disney magic, and our family came home refreshed and recharged.

Photo Credit to Luc Dehouwer

I have to say, most of this magic came because Disney has perfected guest assistance. When we checked in to the resort my dad was given a guest assistance card that he could show at the entrance to the attractions. The myth to this is that if you have one of these you avoid the lines. You don’t.

You do however often get a special entrance. On Splash Mountain for instance my family went in a back way that allowed us to skip the stairs. It did cut down on the wait a little bit, but they certainly did not just let us cut. And this alternate entrance is only available at certain attractions where getting through the standard queue might be difficult for a person in a wheelchair like Small World or Space Mountain where the incline and decline would be hard to maintain.

Photo Credit to Luc Dehouwer

Some rides (like Small World, Journey into Imagination, and the Seas with Nemo) have alternate vehicles that will be put into rotation for people who find it difficult transferring from their wheelchair or using the moving sidewalks. These were wonderful for my dad who could transfer, but wasn’t confident in his balance.

Disney is amazing at taking care of people who have special needs. Whether it is mobility issues, food allergies, auto immune disorders or even the special needs of children with spectrum issues, Disney has found a way to make their facility a place everyone can enjoy. They allow these people, who can’t travel or eat out as easily as others to come, be themselves, and experience the magic with seamless effort.

Big fish?

2011-08-01T19:51:00.001-05:00

Today my company had a conference call with lots of fun information. But there were also some tasks. Most are easy and completely do able for me. But there was this one. This one where we had to try to start thinking about where we could market ourselves. Where in our lives were we already active and able to start leveraging that activity into something that could get our name out into the world as a person who sells Disney vacations with 3D Travel Company.

I know! That should be easy right???? Well not so much this week. This week is a "can't I just hide in my room and read a book and eat chocolate" week. You know, the one where you wake up and really don't see the need to shower, and everything anyone says to you is mean and hurts your feelings?

I am having that week where I go from crying to yelling and there just is no middle ground. Everything seems like it is a mountain to climb and somebody done stole all my gear. Or just borrowed it and didn't put it back anywhere that makes any sense.

I. Do. Not. Feel. Like. A. Big. Fish.

Not in my home, in my life, in my church, in my job, in my community... I am not thinking big fish thoughts.

And the idea that someone might ask me to come out of my hermit crab shell and start acting like a big fish? Well it made me want to cry.

Can I do that next month? How about next year?

Stress can do that. Live with it long enough and it can turn you into a guppy hiding in a shell.

Seems like lately I keep praying and laying it down and then snatching it back up as I rise. I know God is in control. I know He has it covered, but still I keep worrying it. Why? What is that going to do, but make my blood pressure rise? Nothing. So I am going to pray about it and try to think some big fish thoughts. Until then? I plan to "Just keep swimming!"

Magical Memories Monday: UFT Magic Kingdom Meet

2011-08-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Last year the second meet up for The Ultimate Field Trip was the Magic Kingdom Meet.

We met in Liberty Square for some fun pictures and fellowship. As families arrived John Hanyzewski took pictures of the families in the stockade.

Our UFT coordinator Charlene had come up with little pages for the kids to fill out by looking around the meet area. Then once the page was complete they could show it to her and earn a small prize.

One of the questions had to do with the lanterns hanging in the tree. The kids had to count them and then decide what they thought the lanterns represented.
(Hint: There are 13 lanterns hung in the tree)

Once it seemed like everyone had arrived and all the kids had finished and earned their prize it was time for the group picture!
Then, just when everyone was getting ready to say goodbye or head off to lunch or attractions together a little Disney magic came along in the form of the Main Street Marching Band.

This is a group of true performers. Not only was the music fun and had everyone bouncing to the beat, they interacted with each other and the crowd in a way that left everyone laughing. It was great!
After this I got to enjoy lunch with my friends and their families at Columbia Harbor House and go for a ride on Splash Mountain, but that is another Magical Memory Monday all together.
Until then, have a HAPPY July 4th! Have fun! Stay Safe! And come back soon!

What I learned at church camp...

2011-07-25T16:01:00.000-05:00

This week I went to church camp with the Children's Ministry from my church. As always it was an amazing week! I was in a small cabin with 7 girls. Most of them were from my AWANA group, but a few were new, and every one of them stole my heart just a bit. The opportunity to get to know with them, to sit up late at night giggling and chatting during and after devotions was just so great.

My house is full of boys, spending 4 days with a group of girls? The amount of pink alone made it magic! :0)

I learned a few things though, saw a few things that made me reaffirm my belief in who I want to be and how I want to live.

First? I saw my son Tyler a little differently. Because I was not living with him, I only saw him occasionally around camp. I think we ate together once, hung together at the pool for about 30 minutes, visited the gift shop, and had a few hugs as we bumped into each other here and there. I got to see him dealing with other kids, adults, and really starting to grow up. He is becoming quite a young man and I could not be more proud of him. And because of that? He had a chance to hear me brag about him a bit, to see my pride in him. Now that we are home, he is standing a little straighter and doing even better.

Second? I learned that life is what you make it. I already knew that a little, but camp reaffirmed it. I saw kids there who faced their fears, joined in and willingly made fools of themselves, and who had a fabulous time. I also saw kids who wouldn't try anything, didn't want to participate in team activities, and were mad or sad much of the time. Thankfully the second group was small, but it really brings home that we get to decide how we react. We get to decide where we plug in and how much. And our decision will affect the joy we experience in our lives as well as the joy we bring to other people.

I saw a new boy, who knew very few people do many things. He didn't participate in the team sports, but he cheered them on with vigor. He made new friends. I also saw the other boys try to be HIS friend. These boys who have known each other years were rowing around the lake with him or sitting with him at meals or worship. The sweetness of their hearts, the size of their smiles? Well it makes me tear up a little.

If you have children who have never attended church camp, I hope someday that changes. That week, away from mom and dad and all the things at home? It can grow them more than you could imagine. God is great, and He was active in Camp Tejas last week. And I am SO grateful to have been a part of it!

OCD manifests in many ways...

2011-07-18T22:09:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who mentioned not long ago that her husband sweetly puts up with her OCD which manifests itself in over organized everything. Another friend mentioned that she is OCD, but that doesn't mean her house is neat. And I just thought, finally. I am in the middle with SOMETHING. Because, I know I am crazy. Full out KNOW, but usually I am extremes. Extremely happy, extremely sad, extremely angry, extremely full of bouncy energy, or extremely exhausted. There is only a tiny little sliver of middle ground near me and to each side there is some seriously slicked up ground that typically has me zipping right past the middle ground on my way from one extreme to the other.

But with OCD I am in the middle. And it isn't my fault.

See if it was just me? I would be freakishly neat. Everything would have a place. The place would possibly be labeled. Think Monk. But because I live with people who just don't care about where stuff goes I have crashed and burned and given up on organization. There is just not enough crazy in me to keep up with everyone.

Tonight though? I lost it. I went looking for fabric paint where fabric paint should be and it was not there. Someone had "cleaned out" the drawer. Someone who apparently does not use fabric paint. Maybe they just moved it, but when I walked into the house and ASKED about the fabric paint? I got that blank stare. You know the one, where they just look like you might be speaking a different language? Or like they understand, but none of them have ever seen fabric paint? BUT I KNOW it was one of them. Because fabric paint does not just decide it wants a different home.

Then Dwayne. He told me last week before I went to McKinney that he would pack the kids. Which he did. But he was supposed to put a beach towel in the bag. And he got distracted and forgot. Which was fine, Carol Beth was sweet and let us use all her towels. But now, when I am trying to pack for camp and need a beach towel? They are missing. I have a theory that Dwayne went for the beach towel, got them, and THEN got distracted and forgot. They could be anywhere. On the roof, in the attic, who knows? Not me. And not him. He doesn't even remember talking to me about getting beach towels. Even though I repeated the entire conversation back to him. Nothing.

So, what does an OCD girl do when she is surrounded by ADHD boys? Besides lose her mind? Someone tell me! I need a plan. And a list. Time to get organized...

Being a mom is not a job for the weak

2011-05-31T20:20:00.000-05:00

Today Colby had to go back to the hospital because he had a little thing on his tummy. A little warty looking thing that popped and oozed gooey grossness. They tried to treat it topically, but that just didn't work. They had to go in and remove the stitch.

So at 5:30 this morning we were back downtown, checking him in for his second surgery. Everything went really well, but it turned out he is allergic to the dissolving stitches so they had to leave the little wound open. My child now has a little hole, about the size of a pencil eraser, IN HIS TUMMY. Which is bad enough, but not the worst part. The worst part is I, his squeamish mother, had to take off the bandage, remove the "packing" from INSIDE his tummy where it had dried on a bit. Then after doing that I had to get him to trust me enough to let me PUT MORE IN and rebandage it.

I am not a doctor. I am not a nurse. I cannot even stand in the room with someone who is vomiting with out vomiting in sympathy. I also cry when people cry, so there we were, Colby crying, me crying, just trying to get this done. There was a LOT of prayer, a lot of talking, and finally it was done.

I don't want this job. I think this should be a brother job. Or a Dad job. Heck, reasonably safe looking stranger job is fine! But I am the mom. I am the one who has the most patience, I am the snuggle you when you are sick, know the words to the song that soothes you when you are scared MOM. And it is my job.

Tonight, looking at this tiny hole in my son's body, as I was praying with him for God to make us both REALLY brave, I thought about how hard it must have been for God to see holes in HIS son. And not to just swoop down and fix it. Because if I could have healed Colby? It would be done! How hard for God who has so much more love and compassion in Him than I do to watch His Son suffer. For me. Because of me.

I'll tell you, this thing with Cole is just life. It is no one's fault. Nothing we could have prevented or anticipated. If I had someone to blame, I would not love them. It would be almost impossible for me to forgive. And Colby is fine. Really, relatively speaking. 4 minutes after his dressing was changed, tears were dry and he was off playing again. How much worse it had to be for God!

So, as horrible as the next few days will be? I am focusing on the blessings. The blessing of the fact that I have this amazing kid in my life, that he is healthy and whole and not chronically ill like many. I will work to remember how fabulously blessed we have been with the hospital, the doctors, the nurses, and the insurance that is covering everything when we could not have. But, hey if you are in the area? And don't mind changing bandages and "packing" please stop by. Cause I am fine with sharing this part of motherhood. Anytime. Just don't expect the snuggles and love. Those are ALLLLLLLL mine!

It's all about your perspecitive!

2011-05-25T22:23:00.000-05:00

It has been a rough ride the last few months. And admittedly there have been some days that faith was a choice rather than a constant habit. Did you know that? That sometimes, faith is a CHOICE. Actually a lot of the time faith is a choice, but sometimes it is a HARD choice. There have been a few days for me this month where faith has been a tear stained, fisted grip choice, where I had to close my eyes and clench my teeth as I held on when the world (and a lot of my friends) told me "God wouldn't ask that" "God wouldn't expect that" and "You have to do what is best for your family."

The thing is? What is always best for my family is following God. And just because I don't WANT Him to ask me to do something or expect a certain behavior of me doesn't mean He wouldn't. The world wants you to believe that God wants us to be HAPPY. But really? Not so much. God wants us to love Him. With all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Even when it is hard. Maybe especially when it is hard.

God wants us to do what we are told. You know as a mom? I get that. Obedience is good! I like obedience in my children! The first step to obedience however is LISTENING FOR INSTRUCTION. If I am not listening to God's instructions, those quiet whispers in my soul, then I certainly can't know what He wants me to do. So I listen, or try. And so far through all the hard? God has provided.

Sure, the last few months have been hard. But overall it was good.

You know it is all about your perspective. Tonight after posting on Facebook that my 6 year old is going back in for outpatient surgery tomorrow someone messaged me with love. But part of her message mentioned the idea that I just couldn't catch a break. It made me stop and think. Because for me? We have caught a bunch! God has been sweet and our constant provider every step of the way. Really though, I guess there are some people who would look at our last few months and see my husband's job loss, my son's surgery, the week long hospital stay, and now this second surgery and not see the good. BUT THERE WAS SO MUCH GOOD!!

I want to shout from the roof top how GOOD God has been to us. And tomorrow? Yes, Cole is having a minor procedure. BUT Dwayne is also going to a third interview at a company. He is going to meet with the General Manager this time. He could very well pick us up from the hospital WITH A JOB! Praise just all over the place!

Keep your chin up bloggy buddies! And when hard times get you down? Every once in a while? Stop complaining and listen for the whisper. Listen for God, look all around the situation for His presence, and follow His lead. He will never lead you wrong. Much love!