http://www.homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/index/ Inspirational thoughts for moms from Homeschool How-To author Renee Ellison en info@homeschoolhowtos.com Copyright 2019 2019-11-17T21:48:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/what_to_do_if_my_child_is_not_a_banana_reader https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/what_to_do_if_my_child_is_not_a_banana_reader#When:21:48:00Z Some students are what I call “banana readers.” You can toss ‘em a banana and they learn how to read with ease. Other students are stumped by the entire reading process for months and months and months. With those “readers” one feels like one is pulling teeth to help them. They need a consistent approach that only lays one concept in front of them at a time until it is totally mastered—just as cleanly as math steps—with no ambiguity. The child is taught that step until they get it right every time. This is what our Fast Phonics program is designed to do. Until the child has conquered the each easy micro-step the program never even lets him/her know that more advanced reading steps/challenges exist. Large-size clarity and consistency over micro-steps does the job. If your beginning reader is more in this second (most common) category, you’ll find that ordering the Fast Phonics gets the job done far easier and faster than other phonics programs and (by the way) at much less expense for you. Some reading programs cost several hundred dollars and take twice as long to teach. Fast Phonics teaches all the phonetic sounds by large tightly designed cartoons germane to the letter shape. The child retains the sound almost immediately because the cartoons are so cleverly constructed the child can’t forget them. In our program, the parent teaches only the phonetic sound first. This eliminates confusion with the alphabet names. It also uses only one trigger word per shape (i.e. moon for the “m” sound, not complicated also with mud, mush, munchies, etc.) We DELAY alphabet names and capital letters until AFTER the child is already reading 3 letter words. And using only the one trigger word works like magic, giving instant recall. After this solid intro, the parent continues to teach reading with three-letter words. These words are then made into very funny three-letter word sentences and stories. After the student shows a command of these short words, the program moves on to four-letter words with long vowel sounds. The student has to work through 160 examples of converting short vowel sounds to long vowel sounds before they are EVER used in sentences containing these more advanced words. This super-solid next step eliminates confusion henceforth. This succinct good help is available now. Ordering Fast Phonics will save you and your child much unnecessary academic stress. Teaching/mothering tips, 2019-11-17T21:48:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/coming_to_grips_with_marital_wiring https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/coming_to_grips_with_marital_wiring#When:01:44:00Z In good marriages and in troubled marriages, we can never go wrong with infusing the marriage with kindness. The other huge concept that helps to strengthen and grow marriages is to realize and accept that the core wiring of every individual is different. Some of the essence of any individual’s identity is hardwired even from genetics—as in the case for our gender and the health of our teeth. Chromosome structures are unalterable. So, too, are less tangible aspects of personhood. People ARE who they are. Their interests, proclivities, habits, talents, capacities, speeds, are all individually wrapped—uniquely and differently from our own. We are different in I.Q., in physical attributes (a four-foot guy is not going to be able to be a pole vaulter, try as he might to please his wife’s expectations in that direction), in perceptions, in coping strategies, and in the way we work. In addition, each of us had a huge 20-, 30-, or 40-year developmental head of steam assembled before we ever approached the marriage altar. We are simply not going to change someone else’s early birth-family wiring, the level of their moral altitude (how deep or shallow they want to go over a lifetime), and their personality and all that entails. What we CAN change is our OWN reactions TO the other person. We CAN change ourselves. THEREIN lies the healing for the marriage (or in any relationship, for that matter) in giving the other person lots of space to be who THEY ARE, and in choosing to love and to go the distance with whatever that is. We really have a ring-side seat to view the way someone ELSE lives life. Marriage is far more a spectator sport that an operation table. Coming to grips with this is a huge step to gaining personal peace—and that is a launching pad to learn HOW to love in extremity and in longevity. Home management tips, 2019-09-09T01:44:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/the_problem_of_evil_some_initial_thoughts https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/the_problem_of_evil_some_initial_thoughts#When:21:56:00Z How do you make a short and simple explanation of the existence of evil? Here are some suggestions: First, you note that the problem of evil is a problem for all mankind. It is not a uniquely Christian problem. Reasonable persons of every worldview must explain why evil exists in the world. Eastern religions only escape it and ignore it and pretend that there is no enemy anywhere. That works well until an assailant wants to rape your daughter, and does so right in front of you, or steals your car. No enemy? A second point you can make is that even an unbeliever must explain the existence of exceptional good, too. Why do humans make unbelievably harrowing sacrifices to save lives? Why are there gorgeous sunsets? Why does the adorable chortle of a newborn baby sweep over us with gladness? G. K. Chesterton, the venerable British journalist (from the same milieu as C.S. Lewis) observed that these realities are evidence of a shipwreck. These beautiful serendipities are like pieces of expensive jewelry that fell out of a broken treasure chest on the beach. The jewels strongly suggest that there is a story somewhere bigger than our current existence…somewhere else that I came from, and somewhere else where I’m heading eventually. Third is the observation that God has told us true things in the Bible, but He has not told us everything. Biblical revelation is true knowledge but it is not exhaustive knowledge about our existence. Now we only know in part. We all must make our peace with that—that we are not God, and that His mind and purposes are bigger than ours. For the most part He has been silent on the big-picture issue of evil’s existence. Nonetheless, we can note that He is not altogether silent on the topic. He has declared two things about it: one with His words and the other with His body. His words warn us to not participate in the works of evil, and the Bible commands us to not devise evil. In addition, He came down and personally endured the reality of evil in this world. By laying down His body on the cross of crucifixion He showed that He is not distant on the issue. He endured in His own body punishment for—and by—the works of evil men, including the men who crucified Him without a just cause. Christ came down and willingly submitted to and participated in our suffering, Himself, to show us that He cares, that He knows our hearts will break, and that our lives will be afflicted. Through His willing sacrifice of His own body, the Savior declared that He is our companion in our sorrows and griefs. He is not a far-removed God. He took outrageous slings upon Himself and underwent its horrors, to declare that “I am with you in whatever befalls you. I cannot tell you now why evil exists, but I can walk through it with you.” No other (man-made) god or human potentate has ever been willing to do such a thing, staying so near, so lovingly involved with us. A wise theologian predicted that in the end, when we finally have seen the reasons for allowing a season of evil (in addition to all of the other perplexities we undergo in this small chapter of earth-life), we will agree with God. There is clearly and surely a lot that we don’t know and cannot know while in this state. We must trust God in the dark, based on what we have learned about Him in the light. The only alternative is to trust our limited finite selves (we, who cannot even hold a whirling electron to a neutron in an atom). In doing so, we lean upon a broken reed. Spiritual tips, 2019-08-20T21:56:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/marriage_rescue https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/marriage_rescue#When:22:57:00Z Some marriages fail due to a simple disorientation. If the couple had only had an understanding of this concept, the duo would have survived. Here it is: they look too closely at each other. Unbeknownst to many, marriage is far more a spectator sport! You observe what IS, and you adapt. That’s the recipe for success. When one or both persons in the marriage are constantly taking the temperature of that marriage, it is doomed to fail. Some spouses process private mental questions over and over again of “Why isn’t my spouse doing better? or better yet, “...CHANGING for the better? or, “... fulfilling me better?” This puts the marriage under a relentless microscope that is a quiet (and sometimes not so quiet) micro-analysis. Square yourself with the fact that no human being can sustain and fulfill another human being’s infinite longings for attentiveness. Harboring unbridled expectations of another human being is the shortest route to an emotional crash one could possibly employ. Tight marriage scrutiny sucks the life out of a marriage. A controlling spirit will eventually lose what it craves. The controlled spouse will slip away quietly (i.e. be physically in the same room with you while their heart is far away) or leave with a loud crash (as in, divorce.) Yes, we all HAVE unbridled expectations of a prince-charming coming to “save us” and “take us away” and “love us consummately”—because God put those infinite longings there in our hearts for Him alone to fulfill to the uttermost. The marriage relationship is a totally different deal. It was established to get us OUT of ourselves, to love another. This specific relationship was meant, not for receiving, but for giving. We ride off into the sunset with only one perfect lover: Christ. When you give your spouse space to be who he/she REALLY is, right there in front of you, you gain wonderful things. For one thing, your spouse doesn’t go underground, living his/her real life somewhere else or someWAY else. He/she feels comfortable in all ways in your presence. You also begin to be enriched by what God DID in making that someone else so completely different from yourself in every way….i.e. background, wiring, gender, etc. Also, you can appreciate that you get a 24/7 front row seat on the development of another human being. Via that seat, you gain an understanding of how complex and intriguing all of humanity is…far from your high school narrow view of reality. As a result, you begin to grow and grow and grow in relational maturity. It just happens upon you, over you and around you…when you don’t even realize it is going on. This kind of personal growth is one of God’s most fantastic slow-motion miracles…taking years and years. Become a good spectator. Appreciate. Encourage. Seek for ways to delight your spouse...and (outside of breaking one of the Ten Commandments) whatever THEY do, they do. This doesn’t mean there won’t be tough conversations and good communication…but WRESTING changed BEHAVIOR from each other never works. We can only ever really change ourselves. Determine to personally put yourself under that wished for progressive improvement. Strive to pray, to be, and to do all you can to build that marriage. Home management tips, 2019-08-08T22:57:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/how_a_tired_mom_can_administer_her_childrens_non_academic_progress_from_the_couch https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/how_a_tired_mom_can_administer_her_childrens_non_academic_progress_from_the_couch#When:23:19:00Z A mom’s agenda for all out of school time is to get them occupied with open-ended activities that grow skills. The key ones are: Musical instruments of all sorts: Practicing on an instrument can use up hours, gaining a lifetime skill and developing the brain, the body, and the character at the same time. The better they become, the more they practice voluntarily, because the enjoyment starts giving back to them. Start with just having them work through a simple beginner book. Instrument possibilities include recorder flutes, the ukelele, harmonica (a high-end one), marimba, and (of course) piano. Stay away from guitars and drums, which can lead to bands with questionable characters and self ego puffing by emulating rock stars—a dead end. There is simply nothing to equal piano playing for a beginning musician, for brain development and raising IQ because it works both hemispheres of the brain. I require it for every child, right up there with math and history. Aim for having a child become accomplished only on the level of the EZ play books, which are super simple but are still a challenge. (For more on choosing a musical instrument, see our booklet or e-book by that title.) Body building: Work at increasing their distance, speed and strength against their personal best in aerobic and strength training. Also: large ball exercises—the kind you can sit on. Put up charts for each child and increase their personal best numbers/time/capacity DAILY—in actual scores written on their charts. A serious reading program: Read for at least a half hour a day, progressing through deep content-rich books: biographies, creation books, missionary stories, self-help books, histories, etc. Get them started at making a list in a 3-ring notebook of every book they read for the rest of their lives. This should eventually number in the thousands. As the old adage goes, “We become what we are through the people we meet and the books we read.” They need to log it in. For book recommendations, see Melanie’s favorite books list. Making money: Get them hearing those quarters clink in a piggy bank every day but one. Some part of the day must be spent in earning money: jobs for the neighbors and jobs for you. Invent them. if you need to. There is no end of small landscaping projects, such as lining up the rocks along this path, etc. Again, get your children in the practice of logging their money earned and money spent into a little book—just like Benjamin Franklin did. (For much more on this, read our Sure Financial Steps for Beginners.) Meal planning and other regular domestic responsibilities of each person’s daily life: Each child becomes responsible for planning, buying and executing one meal a week. Perhaps it’s a noon meal or breakfast to start with. Likewise, doing their own laundry. Set up each child with his/her own laundry basket, which that child oversees on their own time at the washing machine and then hanging out their own laundry outside, using a clothesline or a rack. Avoid using the dryer if you can; the manual effort creates more work for them, and it makes their clothes last longer and be far fresher. Do you get the gist of everything we’re doing here? We’re preparing them to take over the house chores completely, thereby becoming skilled at running their own home someday. (For ideas for you and for them, see What? I have to fix dinner again?!) Arts and crafts: Ideas include kits for building model airplanes, cars, etc. The gluing takes up enormous quantities of time. Knitting, sewing, tailoring, landscape drawing, portrait drawing…all self-taught from books borrowed from the library. Teaching/mothering tips, 2019-07-10T23:19:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/do_you_feel_only_ordinary https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/do_you_feel_only_ordinary#When:18:47:00Z It is reported that D. L. Moody brought over one million souls to Christ, yet a local minister there in 1875 told Mr. Moody that the work was plainly of God. “For I could see no real relation between him (Moody) and what he had done!” So it is with us: there appears no real relation between what we are in skin and bone and what God makes of our influence—much of which we can’t see. God hides what we are from ourselves lest we be inflated with our own importance and do no more. For now, He purposely hides what we are, to keep us “on the press.” Chuck Swindoll wrote, “Galactic heights of prominence are often preceded by enormous time in the shadows. [And by great humblings, we might add.] The Apostle Paul approached Damascus with pomp and power, but made his exit by night in a fish basket hanging over a wall.” Ray Stedman quipped that “We live in a world of crooks…; what an opportunity to be different!” Be glad that you are a nobody, set down in the midst of a crumbling world. The praising, obedient, quietly faithful nobodies are what God makes into children of God. Spiritual tips, 2019-06-30T18:47:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/prayers_deepest_secret https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/prayers_deepest_secret#When:03:21:00Z The deepest secret about praying is that it is never a solo act. We begin by staggering around offering initial fumbling words. God picks up the spark, immediately arrives to step into the abyss and then unfurls what the rest of THAT prayer is. Little prayers or big. This is the duo dynamic: a mortal/immortal team, igniting continual fireworks in the universe throughout all history…together. We’re not talking about ANSWERS to prayer here, we’re talking about the mystery of the actual ACT of praying. What really goes on there? We may have vaguely realized it before, but often in only in a foggy sort of way, that every time we pray we enter into—and cooperate with—supernatural activity borne of a divine unction in a split second. In every case, all the time, we merely start to pray; God finishes the praying. The action of prayer is just like stepping onto a moving walkway at the airport. It is already traversing. If we’ll just get both feet planted there, we WILL arrive somewhere where we weren’t when we began praying. In all prayer, there is man’s part, and there is God’s part. For our part, we merely provide the initial posture/condition for prayer and offer initial words. That’s it—and then whoosh, we are ushered into the heart of God, the words of God, the supernatural power of God. The Holy Spirit prays the remainder of the prayer! Lock on to this fact: we never finish our own prayers, alone. We are helped to “get there.” The posture/condition of prayer that we offer may take a multitude of forms over a lifetime. Sometimes our prayer posture will be one of closed eyes, to enhance focus. But sometimes our prayers are offered with wide open, stark, unblinking eyes as we navigate an icy patch of highway near a cliff as we pray AND drive. Sometimes we humbly get down on our knees, or down flat on our face. Sometimes we stomp up and down a country road with raised arms furtively, urgently praying gusts and blasts of promises from Scripture. Sometimes we offer empty stomachs as we fast, our body praying, too—even when there are no words for huge chunks of the day. And sometimes we just marshal racing thoughts with no destination into a vertical column of appeal, purposing now an absolute destination, tired of our own run-around. In every case, we offer something of our body posture and our mental condition to begin each prayer. This sets off all the red lights on God’s dashboard that a saint, somewhere in the world, is ready to enter into the divine act of praying. That person, made in His image, is in the “go” posture and condition. Time for Him to show up. God begs us to get in the avenue of prayer, in the condition to pray. He said to the Apostle Paul, “Get thee to Rome, for there you SHALL be \My witness.” And to Moses, “Go to Pharaoh; get into his courts and down his hallway and upon his rug before his throne; I’ll do the rest.” And to the early believers, “Do not worry about what you shall say before kings and courts; just open your mouth.” Then come our faltering words. But all of a sudden they aren’t so faltering. Something begins to pray through us and upon us and with us. The God who made man’s mouth makes man’s prayers. We can count on it. Never is it an idle act to begin to pray. It hooks up divine voltage.​ Spiritual tips, 2019-05-27T03:21:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/gods_continual_yes_to_our_every_prayer https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/gods_continual_yes_to_our_every_prayer#When:20:07:00Z All the promises of God are “yes” and “amen” in Christ (2 Corinthians 1:19). “If you ask anything in my name I will give it thee” (John 14:14). How can this be? Preposterous ? Many a pastor has said: “I won’t tangle with this or that verse. We’ll skip over it.” But, rest assured, if these statements come from the mouth of God, these are not lies. God gives us TRUE statements but not INFINITE statements. There is more to this statement than He can tell us now. The part He DID say is real. We can drop our drooping attitude of disappointment and pray, earnestly and confidently. Cash in our praying doubts for sure heavenly treasure. We can go ahead and voice every prayer that swells within our breast. And we can voice them with expectation. First He hears us .... Our prayers do not dissolve into some cosmic mush. Thousands of times in the scriptures He says: “I HEAR you” when you pray. He puts our requests upon His gigantic chessboard, factors them into His huge “main frame computer brain,” and moves history forward in the light of them. It is almost as if He baits us to pray…enjoys the challenge, romps around with happiness in His omnipotence in light of MORE prayers that just came in. The believer can take it to the bank: our Heavenly Father HEARS us. And then He answers us ... Because God works upon multiple stories at once and with all the factors in the universe in His hand to engineer this way or that, adding our prayers must invariably complicate things. God, however, is no stranger to complications. Millions of prayer requests are no problem at all for Him. He morphs our trembling pleas into seismic benefits to us—far beyond a mere “yes.” Given enough time, God solves many complications by delays, transfusions of further developments, unexpected twists and surprising better outcomes. In Hebrews 11 we read that “They died, not having received the promise”...YET. Note that He didn’t say the promise was untrue, or over, or that it had become null and void. He still has a thousand years of a millennial reign on earth to go, let alone the life beyond the current “scrolled up” heavens and earth. Aha, some of His answers may come outside of time! Here is a small parental example of our way of answering our own children’s “prayers.” Thinking about this, that we know, may help rend the veil of the paradox between the magnificent promise and the apparent contradiction of the experience of unanswered prayer. Johnny requests of his dad a new bell for his bicycle. Six months go by with no answer. Dad waits to not only give Johnny a bike BELL, but a complete superior BIKE and the bell. But to accomplish that, the Dad has to wait until Johnny’s older brother gets HIS fabulous new touring bike, and then the parent will give the first excellent bike to the younger son. Johnny’s older brother needed that six months to complete earning his savings in order to procure that touring bike. This is only a peek into the logistics required to execute answers within the physical, material plain. Imagine working like this upon the moral/character/spiritual plain for all believers at once! It boggles the mind. God is continually, lovingly seven chess moves ahead of us. He is YES to us. He is “yes” to a better more advanced, eternal matured self than we can possibly now imagine of ourselves. He has big plans for what he is making of our prayers. God is “yes” to his people, always and forever. Let us bow down and pray. Spiritual tips, 2019-05-01T20:07:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/would_fast_phonics_help_a_student_who_is_struggling_to_read https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/would_fast_phonics_help_a_student_who_is_struggling_to_read#When:14:41:00Z ​A number of moms who have listened to Renee’s description of the new Fast Phonics program have been wondering if it would work for older children who still have difficulty reading. The answer is yes! Regardless of a student’s age, you run that child back through the developmental steps to uncover the source of the problem. Because spot tests are built into the Fast Phonics course all along the way, you will know exactly what the child hasn’t mastered, as you proceed through the course. If you use our program and the student still can’t read, you’ll know it is neurological—but a huge number of children struggle with reading because they have missed mastery of one of the vital stepping stones, because: one: ...too much was thrown at them in the beginning. Imagine seeing both capital and small Arabic/Hebrew/Swahili letters AT ONCE and being told that five of those letter have two or more sounds that they CAN say; ‘tis a recipe for a cognitive nightmare—and this is what most children go through with English. two: ...the steps were thrown at them in the wrong order. three: ...and/or they were moved ahead before testing for absolute air-tight mastery/competence at the stage before. They didn’t get it at THAT level but were pushed ahead anyway. The Fast Phonics program is a small financial risk to get the job done right. By running your child back through the steps now from the beginning, in the right way, with solid incremental testing/feedback all along the way, they don’t fall through the cracks, because there are no cracks! It is worthwhile to lay this foundation rock solid. Teaching/mothering tips, 2019-04-04T14:41:00+00:00 https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/thoughts_on_praise_of_humans https://homeschoolhowtos.com/blog/thoughts_on_praise_of_humans#When:20:05:00Z Some thoughts about the praise rendered to musicians, or actors, or to a preacher for a fine sermon, or to an athlete: The human soul finds that it simply can’t handle adulation of ourselves. It is not a good restaurant to go to—not a good feast to sit before. All public performers have had moments where they realized even to think upon it dives bombs the heart into sixes and sevens, making their performances go all to ribbons. Praise or publicity given BEFORE an immediate event TO a performer can be especially difficult to figure out how to quickly deposit somewhere offshore. The emotions immediately tail-spin into thoughts of “Oh no, I’m my own hard act to follow.” In short, praise can be an anguish. It can lead to a kind of runaway berserkness in the heart—and maybe even an addiction. I must have more…MORE. The only way to survive it comfortably is to do the act FOR God and give the praise TO God afterwards. Deny it residence in one’s own heart. This brings our thoughts to the praise of God. Is it vain for God to want praise from His people? It turns out that it is in some strange way an actual gift to His people. If there is a “being” in the universe who is so designed to withstand praise, even to be enhanced by praise, then that Divine Being becomes a repository for all praise on the earth, to the relief of mankind. One man who turned atheist soon discovered that his biggest problem was that when he had moments of gladness, he now had nobody to whom he could be grateful. The praise of God settles our disquiet forever. Spiritual tips, 2019-03-18T20:05:00+00:00