honestly Lu

I'm Not Lost, Just Undiscovered

2013-06-01T15:52:00.002-07:00

I started Honestly Lu back in 2008 in lieu of a wedding website, and at the time I think it was called Lulu and Dylan, or something really ingenius like that. After the wedding in 2009, I forgot about the blog. And then one day in early 2010, my good friend and fellow blogger, Nora, told me about the great things she had going on over at That's All She Wrote. I thought that blogging sounded like a really fun idea, and I tried my hand at it yet again at the same site, but under a new name. I think that one was The View From Lu. I really took off with it and became a regular updater of the blog, documenting life, posting pictures, and probably sometimes revealing too much. At some point, I left Blogger to try my own website, but it was difficult and I didn't like it. So I returned to Blogger and continually updated the look of the site. The content has remained generally the same throughout the many transitions, and for the past year or so, it's sported the same look, too. A look which I don't really like.

Early last year, I started a new blog called Boondocks Boulevard. The name came from the fact that we live in the boonies, and most of my stories are about our redneck life way out here. I found new inspiration at this site for a little while but continued to keep it private. Then I dropped it, figuring it was too much to move things over there, and what was I really doing? But recently, I am so sick of the name honestly Lu, sick of the look of my blog with no good ideas on how to change it, and somehow I feel that I've outgrown it. I'm ready to do something new and different. Something with a name that does not incorporate "Lu."

Since I first started luluanddylan.blogspot.com, which then became honestlylu.com, I have become a different person. Fundamentally, I'm still the same, but I've done a lot of growing up since 2008. My priorities are different, my interests are different, and some of the things I thought were important back then I realize are pretty dumb now. I've gone through phases of being burned out on life, tired, and angry, but have also done some really great and fun things. Now I'm just grateful and contented. Things are not perfect, and sometimes life still scares me or makes me feel less than good, but I've got a whole new slew of things going on, and I've found new focus.

So, if you wish, join me over at Boondocks Blvd where I've been test-blogging for a little while to make sure I liked the feel of things. It shouldn't be a big deal...I know this is just a hobby, not a real job or anything. But I love writing and sharing, and I wanted to feel good about my platform for divulging the details of my life. If you scroll down far enough, you'll see some pictures of my (since deceased) chickens as baby chicks. That's how long ago I started this blog.

So after five years, 63,698 pageviews, and 665 posts, I think it's time to retire honestly Lu. I don't see any reason to delete the blog, but I probably won't be back at all. If you'd like to join me over at BB, I'd love to have you, and if you'd rather not, then happy trails to you!

Keeping a Low Profile

2013-05-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I spent a weekend going it solo. It's always a tad lonely, but nice for catch-up. It's easier to get motivated to get up and at 'em early and do things that you've been putting off for a while. I got an early start on Saturday to get to the ballet barre class that I hadn't attended in months. And now my butt and legs are sore...guess I needed the workout! Elaine came to the same class, and then we kept each other company in the locker room while we got ready for the next event of the morning. Then it was off to the Kennedys' house for brunch where we learned that they, too, will be having a baby boy! That makes it 4 for 4. What are the odds? (My memory from college statistics has me factoring the odds at about 3.125%, with a huge chance that that's completely wrong.) After these boys are born, we will have 3 girls and 9 boys in our group of friends. All of the fathers are pilots. My guess is that their high exposure to cosmic radiation causes them to make more boy sperm. **This assumption has not been tested.

I rounded out the rest of the weekend by traipsing all over Desert Ridge running errands, watching the movie Liberal Arts starring Josh Radnor (AKA Ted Mosby), which was a bit slow but okay, doing crafts for some upcoming events, fighting a stomach bug that was uncomfortable but not completely debilitating, hitting the pool and lunching with my nephews & fam, reading, cleaning out the closet, catching up on CE, working on a Skillshare class, and, gloriously, napping. I've now labeled myself a seasoned napper, and I think it's the biggest favor I've ever done for myself. Thank you, self!

It was good and productive, and also relaxing. To spend every weekend this way would get old (and fast), but I'm okay with it every now and then. But now I'm ready for some company. The dogs are great and all, but life is ten times better with another human presence in the house.

This Day and Age

2013-05-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

It seems as though almost everywhere you go, the family-work balance is a hot topic. I came across this article a while back in The Arizona Republic, which mainly stated that more and more women are becoming the main breadwinner in their households. (Do you agree that this is not surprising?) It elaborated on the changing dynamics of the family and provided some real life examples. It was interesting. But I don't understand why consumers of mass media care so much, including myself. People just need to do what's best for themselves and their families. For example, why was everyone so upset that Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer took only two weeks of maternity leave? Maybe it was just the best thing for her, even if it's not the best thing for everyone else.

That being said, two weeks maternity leave would never be the right thing for me, though I know it's not my place to pass judgement on what other people decide to do. I've talked to many a young mother, from stay-at-home moms, to part-time workers, to full-time workers, and each would point out the merits and disadvantages of their lifestyle. Everyone finds their own balance, and I'm just learning that I need to figure it out for myself and not base it on what anyone else does.

Allow me to rewind for a moment. When I was in pharmacy school, I spent time in a variety of pharmacies on internships and rotations. I came across several women pharmacists who worked full-time while their husbands stayed home with their kids, and I just couldn't comprehend it. My thought was, Are you actually working 12 hours on your feet with no break, subsisting on only a Diet Coke and a bag of Cheetos and dealing with shitheads all day in this 15-square-foot box while your husband and kid are at home living an actual life? Looking back I see how it was truly an admirable thing, and I'm sure it was what was best for their families. They were making a good living and probably had great benefits, and maybe this set-up actually made them happy. When you think about the large number of drains on society we have in this country you could even deem these women as real heroes. But I just knew I did not want to sign up for that life. It made me sick to my stomach. Maybe I was shooting myself in the foot by going to all this school to have an actual decent-paying career. But I didn't worry too much about it because it seemed so far in the future for me. Funny that now it seems like only yesterday that I was in school.

Fast forward five or six years, and I can tell you that I am much more mature now, but my thoughts on this matter are shockingly similar. It may be because I find pharmacy as a career to be about as gratifying as I did back then...which was not at all. Granted, I do not work at a chain drugstore anymore, and so my working conditions are not entirely inhumane. Also, I've developed a level of comfort in doing something that I've been well-conditioned to do. But the sense of fulfillment I get from it is slim to none. I might be singing a different tune entirely if I came home every day with a full heart because I had accomplished something with a lot of meaning to me, but I just don't know. (And I don't have to feel bad about saying that...I've talked to enough pharmacists to know that most do not go into the career because they think they'll LOVE the actual job. It's not like we're artists.)

That being said, many mothers would argue that it's great to get out of the house and work a couple of days per week. Work certainly has a social aspect for me (which is hands-down my favorite part about it), and it gives a person a purpose, no matter how undesirable the job is. I also hear that working a little bit can add an element of sanity when all of your other days are spent stuck at home with a tiny human who is constantly either screaming, pooping, or stuck on your boob. As great as motherhood is supposed to be, I can see why people want to get away from it a little bit...or a lot. But having spent plenty of time away from work this past year, what I do know for sure is that as long as my most basic needs are met, then my time is 100% more valuable to me than any amount of money I could make at work on a given day.

We haven't hammered out a real specific plan for this family once it starts to grow, but I do know we will get by, and we'll be just fine. Dylan and I could both work full-time and enjoy a lifetime full of fancy things, but the older I get, the fewer things I want. I just want to be comfortable, and I want time to enjoy a simple life and do what's best for my family. Take a look at this interesting article about how the 40-hour work week sucks the life out of people, leaving them to seek instant reward at high cost because they don't have enough time to enjoy the simple (and free) things. I think this article holds words with much truth. If I have the day to fit in a work-out, eat three well-balanced meals, and do something that's meaningful and productive, then I deem the day to be a perfect 10. We may never be the type of people who take our kids to Vail for spring break and put them in ski school while we enjoy a leisurely day on the slopes and dine at expensive restaurants. We will never drive fancy cars, and my days of buying designer jeans are most definitely behind me. But I'm sure we'll make plenty of trips to the Railroad Park and the splash pad with our kids, and I'm sure we will fit in frequent adventures to my parents' cabin and take our kids to Sunrise, where we will teach them to ski ourselves. And to me, the latter is so much better than the former.

And what about Dylan? He loves his career. He's good at it, and he wants to work hard at it for a long time. I'm lucky he feels that way. Yes, he has an unpredictable schedule that frequently takes him away from home for long periods of time, and yes jobs are gained and lost with no real rhythm, turning your world upside down about once a year, but nobody is looking for perfection around here. Life will never be perfect, nor should it be. Challenges keep us on our feet. We're just fortunate that he's doing what he wants to do. On the other hand, my line of work is much more stable. I can depend on a paycheck that can support my family. But it's not very fun. I really, really hate being the person in this house with the kind of job that actually sticks around year after year and brings in a reliable income versus being the person with a cool job that is enjoyable but which fills our life with all kinds of instability. It's a burden I could do without. But it's just the cards I was dealt based on the (poor) choices I made when I was younger, which I thought were oh-so-wise at the time. ("I'm gonna be a pharmacist because of the good job stability and high pay and because nothing else matters when choosing a career!" Young Lu...you freakin' idiot). It's up to me to decide how I'll factor this in to being a responsible adult who wants to care for her family the best she knows how.

I know it might seem weird that I'm so vehemently opposed to the American norm...the 40-hour work week. Some people think I'm lazy or that I just don't want to work. But I'm growing a thicker skin and learning not to care about someone else's opinion on my life. I am a million times healthier, happier, and just plain better as a part-timer with no good excuse for being so, and I'm not freeloading off anyone else, so it's really of nobody's concern. I have the hugest respect for people who have a great attitude while simultaneously putting in long work hours. I just know life is too short to waste any second of one's precious time.

Image from here
Sorry for the language, but it really couldn't be said any better.

Here is a case for the working mother, and I like a lot of what this article has to say. A lot of women have worked hard for a long time to get to where they're at in their careers, and they don't want to lose that piece of themselves. I respect that, though I cannot sympathize with them. Though the article gives kudos to stay-at-home moms, I would love to see a full article on a case for the stay-at-homer. I don't know if it's just normal life or the setting that I've worked in for several years, but it seems as though stay-at-home moms are regarded as not being very well-rounded or not having very many interesting stories to share. But I disagree. Look at what the Pioneer Woman has made of herself by staying home with her kids! And on that token, I think it's important for all women to have varied interests and to create time to do things that make them happy as an individual.

I am planning on going back to work with my normal schedule after I've taken some time with the baby because I am a grown-up and I feel more comfortable having that constant in our lives even though it doesn't fill my heart with joy. Everyone tells me that I'll like getting out of the house...but I don't know. I like being in the house, and I like making a schedule for my life on my own (or my baby's) terms. And I can still get out of the house to go places other than work. But at a time like this, when the aviation industry has thrown us for yet another loop, I can't really kiss the only shred of stability we've ever had good-bye. I am so lucky to have the job that I do. That they let me get away with working three days a week, days which only last for eight hours (plus two more hours for the commute), makes me grateful. I have a lot of hilarious and wildly intelligent co-workers who I love to spend time with on the rare moment that we can catch a breather. Just a few days ago some of the other pharmacists and I shared our stories of crying in the chain drugstore parking lot while mustering up the courage to go inside and get to work for a long, long, miserable day. That kind of life, I can tell you, is not worth all the stability and income in the entire universe. So I am lucky, even if I'm not completely sure it's the key to being balanced and happy. I wish I had all the answers and knew what would make me and everyone else the happiest, but I don't. But you live and you learn. You go after the things you know you want, and you test the waters when you're not sure. Take chances, be nice to people, give it your best. That's all you can really do. If not right away, I'll figure out my perfect balance at some point.

The Talented Tess

2013-05-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

I've always been amazed at how multi-talented Dylan and his siblings are. They sing and dance. They're artistic and musical. They excel at golf and skateboarding. They invent board games and know everything tech-nerdy.

Just about a month ago, we were on the receiving end of Tess's amazing photography talent. Check her out here and on Facebook. We took some maternity photos, even though I was only at about 21 weeks at the time. Since I excel at rapidly growing a belly, they still turned out pretty good. Thanks so much, Tess!

Happening Now

2013-05-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a while, I have no big trips scheduled. No plans to get on an airplane or do anything too outrageous. I'm sure we'll get out of town in the car a bit this summer, but for now, it doesn't look like it will be beyond the borders of Arizona...or maybe California. I'm really quite okay with that. I know that I should be packing in every single trip I'd ever wanted to do while I feel good and before the baby comes, but life is too unpredictable right now to put too much effort into planning a trip.

So that means I'm just living the same ho-hum life over here. I'm not complaining in any way. Ho-hum is comfortable and easy. But in an effort to sound like an interesting and well-rounded person, here are some tidbits about life these days.

1. Learning: I wrapped up another class with Nicole's Classes, and now I'm onto a Skillshare class. Skillshare is so cool. Any person can write a class, and any person can sign up for your class for a fast $20. We have so much to learn from one another, and it fulfills my desire to be a lifelong student. I might never do anything useful with the knowledge I gain, but it's more about the experience. Plus, you never know.

2. Small Screen and Big Screen: We finally finished Downton Abbey last week. I was not real pleased with the finale, but nobody was. // After taking a hiatus, I got back into watching The Office for its final episodes. It's made me all nostalgic. I am sad to see it go. // I'm so relieved that we finally met the mother on How I Met Your Mother. Can't wait to see how this unfolds. // And as usual, Parks and Rec and Modern Family both sent us out laughing for their finales. Jean Ralphio's sister, Mona Lisa, is my favorite. Any tips on good summer TV? // We also fit in a viewing of The Great Gatsby at the Cine Capri. It was very long but very good.

3. Food: We've fit in a lot of shared meals with friends and family over the last couple of weeks. Lunch with mom, my aunt, my uncle, and my brother at Pizza Picazzo, dinner at Sauce with Jess and Nora (Congrats to Nora on the arrival of baby girl CG this week!), pizza at Grimaldi's, Mother's Day/belated birthday dinner for mom last night, and plans for tonight as well. At a time when we've cut out all spending on luxuries, meals with friends and family cannot be denied. They are one of the greatest and simplest pleasures in life. Also, we bought ourselves a pizza stone and pizza cookbook for our anniversary. We gave it a try, and it was a huge, messy failure. We still ate it, though. It was ugly but tasted good. We'll have to give it another go sometime.

It was a failure, but we had fun making it. Some wine would have made it even better. Oh well.

4. Research: My sister-in-law has been a huge help in guiding me with what I'll need for the baby. I've also done a lot of reading from the Eco-Nomical Baby Guide for tips on not accumulating too much stuff that I won't need. It's very practical. It doesn't expect you to go to super human lengths to stay green but gives some straightforward info. Another recommendation from a dear friend and mother, Jess E. I'm lucky to know so many people with experience with one or more babies, and I can take information from so many sources. My mom even has a very nice friend at work with a baby girl, and she generously took the time to write me a lengthy email on baby must-haves. I think there is no shortage of support in this area of my life, and I am grateful for that.

5. Heat: It's gotten too hot for evening walks with the dogs, both because it's uncomfortable for me (or us), and the dogs stop in the shade and won't move because they overheat. I'll miss that way of unwinding our day. But we deal with this every summer, and we'll figure it out this time, too.

These days are behind you for many months, Ra Dog.

6. Fear: Last night my nephew couldn't have dessert or play games because he would not finish his dinner. An effective and admirable parenting move, indeed. But it broke my heart, and now I'm worried I will not be able to enforce these same rules with my child. I suck at disciplining my dogs, and I hope I don't suck at raising a well-behaved child.

7. Stability: I want it so badly. While Dylan searches high and low for a job here in town, we have not forgotten about his applications that are out with the major airlines. My personal, selfish hope is that he gets a call from our hometown airline so that we have that as an option. Sure, making a career move to go with one of the major airlines is a lifelong choice, and sure it might send us to somewhere far away for a few years (think Charlotte or Philly or DC or New York), and sure the probationary year pay might allow us to qualify for food stamps, but it will be stable and predictable. And while we're coasting along and doing just fine, at this point in life, I would give my left baby toe for some stability and predictability.

9. Family-work balance: It's a balance that every (female adult) person has to find on her own. People claim that it's an individual choice, that there's no judgement. This may be true amongst close friends and family, but not in the mass media or in life in general. It's such a huge human-interest topic, and I find articles or hear stories on it all the time. I have an unpublished blog post on the topic that I have to review a few more times to make sure it is not just beating a dead horse or offending anyone (neither of which are goals of mine) before I publish it. Which might be never. But it's something I've thought a lot about, and it's a complicated decision that women have to make based on the cards they were dealt and what they really want with their life.

10. Boy boom: In one circle of friends, we have four babies coming soon. First ours in August, then Anne's and Nicole's in September, then Elaine's in October. So far, we are looking at 3 of 4 being little boys. The fourth is gender is known and will be revealed this weekend. These boys will be in great company!

Well, I think that more than wraps it up. Happy hump day, stay cool, enjoy life.

The Libra in Me

2013-05-12T07:34:00.002-07:00

My birthday happens to fall right on the cusp of Libra and Scorpio, so I'm either one or the other depending on which horoscope I happen to be reading. I'm not that big into horoscopes, but it's just always been a thing for me that I'm not really one particular sign at all. A mixture of two very different ones, in fact, which must mean I have a very dynamic personality. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but who really cares...I am who I am.

This weekend I chose to tap into my Libra side and find a little balance. It was the first normal weekend we've spent at home in over a month, with both of us being here and no guests, no vacations, and no major social obligations. I was bone tired by the time I got home on Friday afternoon because of a mixture of sleepless nights, long days, and some stressful moments on the job. Because of this, I clocked two amazing nights of sleep and even a nap on Saturday afternoon. Normally I can't really nap, unless I'm on vacation, or on an airplane or in a car, when I know that there's nothing else I can be doing at that moment. My general thought on naps is that they're for children, not for grown-ups who have to maintain a home and cross items off a to-do list. I'm all about finding time for rest and relaxation, but to actually try to turn my mind off and catch some shut-eye during the day in my own home has always been a challenge for me. The quick 30 minutes on Saturday afternoon made such a difference, though, that hopefully I'll be able to be a repeat napper next time it's really necessary.

So besides all the sleeping, we managed to fit in a bunch of other cool stuff. Friday night was redneck happy hour with Dylan and my brother. We sat on folding chairs on Max's driveway and drank beer (or Izze), ate popcorn, and watched dogs and children run wild. On Saturday we got up and headed south to Old Town for breakfast at Morning Squeeze and then to the cloth diapering class, which was AWESOME. I might become a cloth-diapering fanatic becomes it makes so much sense financially, environmentally, and health-wise. But more on that later...or maybe never. I'm not out to preach a case for cloth diapers, but I'm just happy my eyes were opened up to some of the things that I'd never even thought about just a few short months ago so that I can make an informed choice on how to capture all the pee and poo that's in our very near future. Now I'm really excited to pick out the fun diaper covers that will be adorning the baby. (In case you're curious at all, here's some more information on cloth diapering, and here my cousin attests to it's ease, even when baby is somewhat off the boob and making real human poop.)

Afterward, we headed next door for a coffee/tea break, followed by a few errands, a stop at the ol' health club for some exercise and lunch, and then back home to put our feet in the pool with the boys across the street before finding a quiet moment to take that nap that I previously mentioned.

Iced chai and dryer balls, in the spirit of going chemical-free.

At night, I broke a very strict policy of mine to not watch the same movie or read the same book twice (life's too short, and the world has too many other good movies and books!), and I watched Silver Linings Playbook with Dylan. After all my raving about this movie, would you believe that Dylan has never seen it? Rules were meant to be broken, and I'm glad I watched it because it was just as good the second time. I've been known to break this rule with a handful of other movies, too, especially around Christmas time.

So that brings us to the present...Sunday morning. An entire day at our fingertips. What will become of it? Our Mother's Day celebration has been postponed, so only time will tell...

Happy Mother's Day to all moms, moms-to-be, and dog moms...and all women!

A Different Kind of Shopping

2013-05-07T08:21:00.001-07:00

In the past, I would build wish lists or make collages of material goods that excited me. I had given that up for a while just because my interests are always changing and the things I choose to spend my time on vary all the time. But now it's time to build a wish list of sorts in the form of a baby registry because my family is graciously throwing me a shower, and I don't know what to do.

So far, I've spent the most time shopping for diaper bags because that is just like shopping for regular bags. The first (and one of the only few) things I've registered for so far are baby TOMS. This is completely foreign territory, and the research on all the different things is just not that interesting to me. Which is why I email Kristin or Jess E. all the time and say, "Tell me which car seat I need," or "Is this _____ device really necessary?" I just know I want the bare minimum number of things I can get away with having. I also know that infants poop, eat, and sleep, so my next step is to get all those bases covered.

Necessary, no. But how could you not?

Someone will have to make a very convincing argument for me to believe I need this thing.

One exciting development is that I signed us up for a cloth diapering class this Saturday morning. Thanks for the hot tip on that one, JE! I know Dylan is overflowing with excitement. (Doesn't it make you laugh to think there was ever a time when dads didn't change diapers?) My mutually Earth-loving friend, Jess, tipped me off to this particular parenting method. Everyone else calls me crazy, but she tells me it's no big deal. However, as a person who pulls Dylan's banana peels out of the trash to put into the composter and who spends copious amounts of time washing out plastic and glass containers to prep for recycling, I simply can't stand the thought of sending hundreds and hundreds of poopy diapers to the landfill to sit and rot and ruin our planet even more. (I'll let you know how this goes for me.)

So if you're a mom, or for any reason find researching baby devices to be interesting at all, please offer any and all advice that you can. Even if it's just a recommendation for a blanket, bib, or burp cloth. Because I also know nothing about those things. Just don't tell me I'm crazy for cloth-diapering. I'll decide that for myself.

We were graciously given a used crib, high chair/rocker, pack 'n play, video monitor, Baby Bjorn, and some other items, so that makes me feel like we've made progress. But it also makes me nervous. Now that we have a crib, what else goes with it besides bedding? Are bumpers still a thing? Does the mattress need a mattress pad? What other adornments go with the crib? How could something be so stressful and so boring all at the same time?

Don't get me wrong, I'm getting more and more excited to have this baby boy. It's the baby I'm really excited about. Just not the stuff that will be invading my house, my car, and my life. (Except the teeny tiny shoes and clothes. I'm a little excited for those...)

Steph & Lex

2013-05-06T17:19:00.001-07:00

This weekend I traded out Dylan for one of my oldest friends, Lexie. He took off in the right seat of a Citation headed for San Francisco on Friday morning, and she flew in from Miami that night. It was the best thing ever to have some company here while he was on the road. Especially the company of a best friend who makes you laugh all day long. Plus, she drove me all over town, which was a real treat when you consider how much time I normally spend behind the wheel.

Our weekend schedule was jam-packed and full of laughter and nostalgia from the good old days of middle school. The real purpose of the visit was for Lex to meet Caden, Steph's two-year-old boy. So we headed over there on Saturday morning, then hit up Paradise Bakery for lunch before making the rounds at the Quarter. At night we met up with Steph again and went to Lex's family's old favorite for drinks, the Hyatt at Gainey Ranch. I hadn't been there in such a long time. It brought back so many fun memories from over the years. Remember going on the gondola and trying hard not to laugh when the gondolier would start singing in Italian? Afterward, we sat on the patio at Downside Risk for dinner and stayed there for the entire night. It was a beautiful night, and we had so much fun.

Cheers to almost 20 years!

Sunday was Cinco de Mayo, but more importantly it was Lex's birthday! We ventured down to the Biltmore for lunch. I'm so glad she was here to drag me out of the north Scottsdale bubble. Though everything around here is pretty, new, and convenient, it most definitely lacks the level of class and character that you can find at some of the older and more central destinations. She loved going down memory lane, and I did too. (Remember when The Cheesecake Factory used to be Planet Hollywood?)

In the afternoon, we hit up the Rogers' house for an afternoon BBQ to catch up with Steph's parents. Steph, Lex, and I spent most of our time together in 6th and 7th grade, when Lex's family lived in Scottsdale and we all attended the same school. Boy did we ever dig up some embarrassing memories on this afternoon. Ages 12-14 are not anybody's finest time of life, in my opinion. Fast forward a few years, and we're all reunited as college freshmen living in the same dorm at ASU, Steph and Lex as roommates. Also NOT a glory year for any of us. Lex and I both ended up ditching Tempe for greener pastures after that year. But I think it was the weird and awkward times that really bound us together. I don't have any friends as old as these two girls, and though our visits are much too far and few in-between, we never manage to skip a beat.

Happy birthday to Lex!

After Lex blew out her candles, we headed back home and called it a night. The last time I saw Lex was in September when I spent one night in Miami before heading to Havana. I hope it's not too long before I see her again, though I'm sure my family will be plus one human by the time I finally do. That's something that she and I both had trouble wrapping our heads around! I'm so glad Lex made the looooong round trip flight out here for a quick weekend visit. It was priceless.

It Will All Be Okay

2013-05-02T17:55:00.001-07:00

On this day four years ago, we were saying our "I Dos" on the golf course among our closest friends and family. It's unreal to me how quickly it seems four years has passed, but at the same time it seems like forever. If you were at our wedding, does it seem like only yesterday, or is it as though it has been a century? No matter how you look at it, these past four years have been full of adventure, laughs, and challenges. Since we've been married, we've tripled our square footage (and our commute), added two dogs to the family, accumulated four nephews, and seen our share of job turmoil. (But we still have the same cars!) I couldn't have made it through all this without Dylan by my side. The good has been made better, and the bad has been made so much more bearable because of this guy.

Sometimes I fault Dylan for wearing a happy face through everything. He doesn't seem affected by things that would put a normal person in a very bad mood. Every now and then I tell him to "just be a human!" or beg him to "get pissed!" But how lucky I am that he is so tolerant of all things and people, has the kindest and most generous heart I've ever known, will do just about anything to put a smile on my face, and is the most well-rounded, truly happy, outgoing, and patient person I know. The perfect match for my sometimes-snotty, socially awkward self. Sure seems he got the raw end of this deal...

On Monday we were faced with a challenge that is not unfamiliar to many people in this country, including, as Dylan points out, Tim Tebow. Dylan had officially been laid off and would not longer be making free money. I was at work when I received the news and just carried on like normal. We saw this coming from a mile away, after all. How long can a person wait around for his boss to buy a new airplane and continue to get paid? Six months in this case. And then you get cut loose. It is what it is.

However, by the time I got home on Monday afternoon, I had a lot of anger brewing in my belly. It had been FIVE years since I'd finished school and moved back to Arizona and we got engaged. FIVE years that this industry, save for a couple of months here and there, has made us completely miserable either because it's totally unstable or because it takes Dylan far away for long periods of time. People keep saying that hard work pays off. Things are picking up. He'll find a good job real soon. And I used to believe that was true, until I realized that five years of our lives have passed us by, and then all I could feel was chewed up and spit out.

By Tuesday, I allowed some tears to flow. It just wasn't fair. Dylan had done nothing wrong, and he's the best person I know. For every break he's gotten in the flying industry, he has been crapped on ten times. He's good at what he does and he's very well-networked, but he just wasn't given the gift of good luck. He doesn't deserve this, and as a family we don't deserve this. The roller coaster was fine when we were young, but now we're old grown-ups, and it just isn't cool anymore. The tears may have been a product of the hormones coursing through my veins, but man was it therapeutic for me to show some human emotion.

We explored the option of Dylan going back to the airline. Until we found out that with the current state of affairs, he'd only barely be getting his captain status back (and thus be at the bottom of the totem pole with the world's worst and most inhumane schedule). He'd also be based at either JFK or Miami, and he'd have no vacation or family leave time for when the baby arrives. Just writing about it makes me want to barf of my keyboard.

So I took a deep breath and realized one important thing: we don't actually have to put ourselves through this. If it meant selling our house and everything we own, it would be better than sending Dylan back to American because that would be the equivalent of both of us selling our souls. And actually, we don't have to sell anything. Rather, we've worked hard to prepare ourselves to live off very little for situations like this, and I'm sure it won't be the last time we have to do it. I don't have to beg for extra hours at work or plan to go back as soon as the baby comes home from the hospital. We're just going to live modestly, and we'll be fine. We'll probably even be comfortable.

Dylan is putting his neck out and exploring every local job option. He's picked up a ton of contract work this month and will be busier than he's been in the last six months. We'll give that a go for a while and just see what happens. I am not making any promises to withhold my complaints or snide remarks about waking up at 5 to go to work, but that's nothing new for us. I've always been a brat in that respect.

When you take a step back and look at our life as a whole, you'd see two very, very blessed people. We're healthy, we've got good family, and we've got all the stuff we need. But when it comes to some of the details, we just can't catch a break. Some would point out that at least we don't live in a worn torn country surrounded by poverty, filth, and disease. I would not disagree. But on the other hand, while we were in Turks, we were among the company of the Extremely Wealthy. We'd hear about their problems, and then we'd go back to our room and laugh because it was so funny to us. But to those people, they were real problems. So even though I can be thankful every day for all of my many blessings, I'm still allowed to get frustrated and pissed and even cry sometimes. Because I'm a human, and I have real problems. Someone in Syria might find them laughable, but they are oh so real.

And in this situation, a few tears gave me a lot of perspective. We're going to be fine. I must cool it on the shopping, but we have everything we need, so that's no big deal. At some point the fancy gym membership might have to go. (Oh no, say it isn't so!) And tonight for our anniversary I'll prepare a home-cooked meal that we'll eat real fast as soon as Dylan gets home from a turnaround trip to Southern California because then it will be my bedtime. We'll forego the mini-vacation or fancy restaurant to celebrate, but I don't care. Life goes on, and we'll keep living it. We'll keep a roof over our heads, stay well-fed, and be thankful for this, even when we get dealt a shitty hand of cards.

In the past two days I've found a level of peace that I've never known before. Over the past five years, I've spent a lot of energy feeling really angry about flying jobs that have taken Dylan away from home or created instability in our lives, but right now I admire my husband for his resilience and his uplifting persona in a way that I never have before. I'm so contented right now that it's just uncanny. I just have no doubt that it will all be okay. I am so glad that Dylan hasn't allowed himself to crack under my rotten attitude over the years. He's finally softened me, and on this day, our fourth anniversary, I've never been so glad for the life I've been given and for the guy that has made it all happen.

Austin

2013-04-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

Even though it's been over a decade since Road Trip, I still think of Tom Green and 'Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?' Jess and I took flight and headed to the great state of Texas this past weekend to visit our friend and college roommate, Steph. It's been a long time since our glory days in Tucson, and we're all a little more grown up now, but we still had just as much fun. Well as much fun that can be had with 2/3 of the group being pregnant, which severely limited the number of Austin's many offerings from which we could take advantage. But we were there to just hang with one another and get caught up, which we certainly did do!

When we arrived on Friday afternoon, we headed to Shady Grove for a nacho snack to hold us over until dinner time at an authentic Mexican food restaurant. We packed in a full day on Saturday, which began with strolling around Congress St. and meeting another friend at Hopdoddy for some amazing burgers and shakes. We followed it up by checking out Eeyore's Birthday Party, which is basically a hippie love fest at a local park. It was an interesting and eye-opening experience, to say the least! Then, after a driving tour of the city, we headed to another part of town to relax at a coffee shop and check out some boutiques. We fit in a couple hours of R & R before meeting up with Chris and Kath at the Salt Lick BBQ, a true Texas experience. And on our final morning, we indulged in some breakfast tacos. A true must-do if you ever visit the Austin area.

Where the real Texans go to buy boots.

Food trucks abound

More people can see you if you sleep high up in a tree.

Unicycle football game at Eeyore's Birthday Party

Tight-rope walking in the park. Perfectly normal.

Real Texas BBQ

It was a quick weekend, but we had so much fun. I hadn't been to Austin since I went for Chris and Kath's wedding almost two years ago, but it was just as I remember...quirky, crazy, fun, outdoorsy, dog-loving, and awesome. And some day soon we'll have to return to do all the things we talked about doing, but which were off limits while with-child.

Gender Reveal in Photos

2013-04-28T17:21:00.000-07:00

Our lovely sister, Tess, of Tess Miller Photography, captured some great images from our gender reveal party. The picture I already posted of the pinata explosion is my favorite, but these are the runners up. She did such a great job. Thank you, Tuna!

And thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate with us. Gathering a group of people in order to reveal your baby's gender seems a bit narcissistic and self-indulgent. Does anybody really care that much? But on the other hand, it's a great excuse to throw a party. And the Millers were so excited to find out that they traveled all the way from Oregon for the event. I'd say it was a great success! One lesson I did learn, however, is that tent-like dresses with horizontal stripes do not do a person any favors when it comes to feeling good about a rapidly growing body. I'll hold off on wearing that one again for a couple more months...

Booyah!

I can't guarantee we would have seen this kind of celebration from him had the confetti been pink.

Solitude and Slowness

2013-04-23T08:39:00.001-07:00

Yesterday while at work I discovered that Dylan would be departing on a contract trip today and returning just after I depart on a weekend trip. For a split second I considered volunteering to work an extra day or two during my second weekend if I was needed, but that idea quickly passed. A former pro at going it alone, I realized I hadn't had much time to myself lately. The rest of my family is in Hawaii, and since most other people are at a job, I am making a bunch of plans with me, myself, and I. In general, I don't really like being in an empty house. But I've had much practice at it, and after a house packed with people all weekend, I am really quite OK with this set-up.

This morning I traded in a spin class to get a slow start to the morning so I could spend time with Dylan before he leaves and get my house back to normal. And after that, it's anybody's guess. But I'm sure it will involve clocking some time at the gym, and probably hitting up the pool there, maybe taking in a movie, hopefully scheduling a massage tomorrow, re-stocking the house with groceries, walking the dogs, catching up on all the shows recorded on the DVR, cracking open a new book, and working on some other projects. Basically everything I won't be able to do very easily in about four months' time.

So a happy little hermit am I. And I think Dylan is happy about getting back in the cockpit since he's only been on one or two trips in the last couple months. Plus, he gets free golf at his destination. And I think my body will thank me for slowing it down a bit. I am lucky to feel good and have a normal amount of energy, but I hear that I'm supposed to make time for my rest. Which I've certainly neglected for the last week. Those nine hours of sleep last night felt better than I could have ever imagined, and I plan to do it again tonight before it's back to a 5am alarm on Thursday. Ahhhhhhhh.

We're having a DUDE

2013-04-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

We gathered a little group of friends and family yesterday so that we could all discover the gender of our baby together. The Millers even made the trek from Oregon for the big reveal. The plan was to bust open a pinata filled with either pink or blue candy and confetti. I had ordered a pinata on Etsy about three weeks ago, but when it hadn't arrived by Thursday, I decided to go with plan B: a homemade paper mache pinata. I was afraid it would look totally ridiculous, but despite the offensive shades of green and yellow, it didn't turn out half bad. We decided the most dramatic reveal would be for Dylan to explode the pinata with his 3-wood. I felt a little sad that all my hours of hard work would be blown to pieces in such a violent way, but it worked out great, and blue confetti flew everywhere.

Tess took a winning photograph!

The egg/orb pinata before it was destroyed.

My sister-in-law, Tess, is a magnificent photographer, so when I get my hands on her photos, I'll be back with more images to share.

Today the plan is to go with the flow of the family before they head back to Oregon, while fitting in as much time relaxing with my feet up as possible. I had a marathon three days between long days at work (including a fantastic meeting that took me way past my bedtime on Thursday), shopping for this party, and baking/cleaning/prepping for company and a party. I gave myself a ridiculously early start on Saturday, and I had two batches of cookies, a cake, and a pasta salad prepared prior to 7am! Oh, and then of course that last minute homemade pinata. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble by not DIYing a lot of stuff...but what would be the fun in that? I'm just glad everything turned out well, and I am eternally grateful to my little helper elves who came over early to set-up and who helped keep the food and drinks stocked throughout the afternoon, and who also took charge of the clean-up. (Mom, you rock! And Jess, thanks for all your help and for stuffing the pinata!)

We are thrilled at the thought of having a boy. The family was rooting for a girl since we have all boys on both sides of the family. But I think it's better this way. Our boy will have a bunch of cousins and second-cousins to play with, and also girls grow up and become teenagers...and a teenage girl probably won't do her part in keeping our house a drama-free zone. Yes, boys are rowdy and cause plenty of trouble on their own, but I just always really wanted a boy. And this morning Dylan told me that even though he thought it was a girl, he's so relieved that it's actually a boy. So what a happy ending to our big gender reveal...

We Went to Turks & Caicos

2013-04-15T15:07:00.002-07:00

It was scenic, beautiful, and amazing, just as I'd expected. Dylan's friend Ken, and his new wife Christina, got married on the beach at the Somerset resort. The wedding was fantastic, and the days leading up to it were also full of adventure. K&C have some fun and rowdy friends with whom we ate, drank, snorkeled, and hung out on the beach. Dylan had made several trips to the island before because his boss does a lot of business there, and Ken often came along as a right-seat pilot and good friend to Dylan's boss, so that's how he discovered this amazing location for their nuptials. It was helpful that Dylan had a lot of local knowledge on where to eat and what to do from his previous trips.

The photos below are from a couple different phones and cameras, and thus are in no particular order.

The view from a friend's top-floor room.

The pool at the Somerset

Dylan found a winning conch

Iguana Island

The biggest conch on the island

Smoking Cubans

The private Parrot Cay

Bye-bye Turks

The most crystal clear water I've ever seen.

Large girl finds ice cream

The mornings consisted of breakfast in our room, long walks on the beach, an hour or two hanging out in or near the water, and then heading out on an adventure. One day we boarded a boat with some friends and headed out to snorkel, find some conch, and check out the iguanas. The boat captain made conch ceviche, which I enjoyed only with my eyes. The next day, Dylan's boss chartered a boat for just about everyone in attendance, and we cruised around the islands, checked out some famous people's homes on the beach, then settled into a piece of private beach to hang out and swim. That night was the rehearsal dinner at a local restaurant. On the day of the wedding we walked into town to do some shopping (I bought a magnet) and find some ice cream before getting things going.

The weather was absolutely perfect for the big day. The wedding was in the sand, and the cocktail hour was at the resort pool. For the reception, we headed back to the sand for dinner, dancing, and open bar. I enjoyed many bottles of water and the free entertainment provided by those who had been over-served.

I had the most fantastic time on this trip, but I had put in as much energy being the only sober person amongst 45 drunks as could possibly be expected from any one person, plus I missed my dogs, so I was okay with heading back when it was time to go. Flying home from the East Coast is just like the Arizona summers...we've all been through it many, many times, yet can never quite grasp the memory of how truly long and brutal it is. So I'm glad that part is behind us.

I already miss the beach. It will be a very, very long time before we get another vacation like this one, but it sure does feel good to be home, too.

Crown King

2013-04-09T15:41:00.001-07:00

On Sunday we took an adventure up into the cool country. Our starting point was Lake Pleasant, so we hauled the rhino out and took off from there up the hill to Crown King. It was a very busy day on the trail, and a dusty one, too. But we managed to stay pretty far from other vehicles, so the dust wasn't too terrible.

In the distance it takes to run a marathon, we ascended from the hot desert to the cool pines of the tiny little town of Crown King. It is so funny and quaint. I would love to spend more time up there on another occasion. The restaurant inside the saloon was closed because of a change in ownership, but some ladies were running a hot dog and hamburger stand outside of the general store, so we downed a cheeseburger before exploring the town a bit. We had some of the best homemade fudge around before strapping back in and heading back to the car.

On the way down, we passed a Jeep towing another Jeep. Dylan being the good samaritan that he is offered up our only tow rope because theirs had ripped and was tied in a knot. Me being the cynic that I am, I'm thinking that we'll never hear from the guy (who lives in Scottsdale and took Dylan's number), and we can probably kiss that rope good-bye. Not a big deal either way, but I hope I am proven wrong just to boost my faith in people.

The bigger story is that with about 17 miles to go, we popped a rear tire in the rhino. Luckily we had a spare, which was not a feature on the previous model that we owned. But the spare was a tiny front tire, and we had to trek it all the way back very, very slowly. We still had some rocky hills to go up and down, and if we popped the spare, we'd really be up a creek without a paddle. Luckily Dylan used his slowest and safest driving skills, and we made it back in one piece.

It was a long day, and my body was caked in dirt. I don't think a shower has ever felt so good. It was a lot of fun to do the ride, see the town, and get outside, but after the tire debacle I'll have to think long and hard about doing another lengthy rhino ride. Getting stranded is just not appealing at all to me. But I'm sure I could be talked into it...

Half Baked

2013-04-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today I am just shy of 20 weeks, but by the look of things you might think I'm just about to the finish line. We still don't know the baby's gender because strangely it's just not that important to me. I always thought this would be something I'd be chomping at the bit to find out, but interestingly I don't really care. I am just going to my regularly scheduled doctor's appointments and ultrasounds and hoping and praying that everything looks okay each time. For a quick 50 bucks I could have gone to an outside ultrasound place to solve this mystery about six weeks ago, but I figured that four ultrasounds throughout a pregnancy was a good balance between not over-doing it and making sure everything looked okay.

In the couple weeks since that last picture, I do believe the bump is even a little bigger.

We are a little behind schedule, so I'll be almost to 21 weeks by the time it is known if Baby is a he or she, and even several days beyond that before we actually crack the mystery. See, Dylan likes to add an element of surprise to things. I'm not big into surprises. Generally, I'm like let's cut the crap, let's be real right now and just get on with things. Surprises are a pointless game to me. What is more, given that I'm the person who has to grow this baby, whose body is turning into a balloon, who can't eat and drink a lot of the things I like, who has to get up to pee four times a night then wake up to a 5am alarm because my job actually requires showing up, and who just feels generally exhausted...you'd think I'd claim the rights to how things were going to play out in finding out the baby's gender. Yes, that would normally be the case. But since I don't really care that bad, and because I get just about anything else I ever want, I am happy to concede this one to Dylan. His family is coming to town the weekend after our ultrasound, and we will make a celebration out of revealing the big news. Though I'm not quite sure how I'm going to pull off this event since I'll be working every day beforehand and we'll have a lot going on. But things always have a way of working out, and I'm sure it will be great. Plus, Dylan has been excessively warned to put on his house-husband hat and help me with the party prep, and he's a real trooper.

And then after that, it's time to get down to business. I might actually start thinking about a name for the baby and looking into what types of things I'll need to buy. I'm soaking up this last week or so of just living a normal(ish) life because after this it'll be all baby, full-steam ahead. (But I promise to keep the blog multi-faceted!)

On a different token, several different people have commented to both Dylan and me on separate occasions that we are going to be great parents. It is an amazing thing to hear, and I take it as a compliment of the highest order. It sure does give me confidence that I'll be able to pull this thing off.

Whether this baby is a boy or girl, it will probably have short legs and flat feet if it takes after both its parents. But it will be perfect in my eyes. Even if it comes out looking like either one of us did as a baby, it will be the most loved baby in the world. (Though it'll fare much better if it resembles Dylan's baby picture, given it can refrain from making that weird expression.)

Continuing to Keep it Simple

2013-04-06T16:54:00.000-07:00

As I reflect back on the week, I think of:

Pizza
Early nights
Downton Abbey
Reading
Afternoon walks
Happy hour
The gym
Home improvement

I shall elaborate on some of the above (the others require no further explanation).

Pizza: It's always been a favorite food of mine, so I can't really blame a pregnancy craving. But still, I just might do that. Here's a little story. We were running short of groceries on Monday, so I packed a lunch of fruit, yogurt, and peanut butter and jelly. Basically everything sweet. By the time I finished work that afternoon, I felt as though I might hurt a person if I didn't get something salty...or just not sweet...into my body. I had a simple plan to order a Papa John's pizza from the work parking lot, via their iPhone app, and then pick it up on the way home. The problem, however, was that the only two Papa John's on the way home were not showing up on the app. When I Google mapped them and called their respective phone numbers, I found that both had been disconnected. This is when I called Dylan in a panic. He thought I was really in distress and arranged for me to pick up a pizza from Domino's. Not as good as Papa John's, but still extremely satisfying and even better than I remember from past Domino's experiences. Thank you, Dylan. And then we went to Ciao Grazie for a pizza happy hour the next day. (We met the very sweet Italian restaurant owner and his pizza tasted like it came straight from Italy. Check it out!) Then I made a homemade pizza two nights after that with the yummy Trader Joe's dough. So there you have it, pizza was a strong theme of this week.

Happy Hour: Also for happy hour we revisited old faithful, Sushi Brokers, the other night. But gosh darn do I ever miss a spicy tuna roll! And we also paid a visit to Daphne's for lunch today only to find that they had re-done their menu. We were mildly disappointed, but the food was still pretty good. The dessert from Golden Spoon was tip-top as well.

Downton Abbey: I cannot get enough of it. I'm sad that each season is only eight episodes long and we're already into the third.

Reading: I finished Gone Girl (not the smartest read, but very, very entertaining...thanks E!). I try to fit in a classic every now and then, so I picked up Tom Sawyer but am not addicted yet. And then the BEST book arrived at the front door: Bringing up Bebe. It's enlightening, informative, and very entertaining, even if you don't have or want kids. It outlines the differences between French and American child-rearing and provides answers to why French children all sleep through the night by three months, don't throw food at restaurants, can restrain themselves from going totally apeshit when they don't get what they want, can subsist on eating four times daily from a very young age and don't need a bag of Cheerios or Goldfish to nibble on at all times, do not interrupt their parents, can sit quietly and contentedly while adults eat and converse, and are happy, curious, and well-rounded all the same. I strive to raise a child in this way. However, I am an American who lives in America where a common theme is helicopter parenting and raising children with different trademarked and branded philosophies and beliefs (whereas the French just use common sense). I don't know how easy it will be to veer from the norm, and given my success (or lack thereof) in training and disciplining my dogs, I know it will be a huge challenge to raise a child with such defined boundaries and discipline. But I'm sure as hell going to give it my best because I want to be able to take my child out in public without a meltdown or any huge disruptions, and get some sleep after the first few months, and have a kid that understands and can give and receive respect. The French really know what is up.

Home improvement: I've been buying and hanging new pictures and other thingies, and we are having the toughest time deciding on a backsplash tile. It's all very boring...

The gym: I've begun to re-explore Pilates and other low-intensity workouts. I'll still get my heart rate up every now and then, but I hear this is no time to be setting any records or pushing any limits. Or jumping on and off of Bosu balls or doing other jolty crazy moves. I am sad to leave behind some of my favorite classes, but oh well. And we made our first annual visit to the club pool, a location at which I'm sure I'll be clocking many, many hours this summer.

And now for some photos. If you follow me on Instagram, I do apologize for the repeat visuals.

Made our weekly trip down to the river while our friend, Roy, was in town for one night. The boys shot pellet guns and Elaine and I chatted and chased after our dogs.

The boys tailgate grilling.

I planted some strawberries, jalapenos, peppers, and basil. We'll see how they do!

The chicken coop in the background makes me sad. I think we might get chickens again one day.

Dylan had a big night at the neighbors' party while I rested peacefully...so he took some time to recover at the pool.

I can't stop reading this book!

Etsy art.

My first purchase for the small one. It was $6...I couldn't help it. As the weeks go by, this whole thing gets more and more for real.

I wasn't incredibly social this week, and we didn't accomplish anything too exciting, but it was most definitely a fantastic seven days, and the time was well spent.

Our Easter Weekend

2013-04-02T09:12:00.000-07:00

We kicked off the weekend in the McDowell Mountains at the Rogue Runner. Dylan, Max, Chris, and Andrew were a team for the mud run, and I was this team's Official Photographer. Though I didn't do a great job, as I missed many of their obstacles.

Before I get any further, I do have some complaints to make about the Rogue Runner operation. I had to pay a $7 spectator fee just to be there, and for that fee you got: No place to sit, No shade, and No place to get a drink of water. I stood in the middle of the desert for 45 minutes waiting for them to reach one of the beginning obstacles, but I got so hot and faint-feeling, I had to remove my hat and shoes to cool down. Then I decided to find Kristin and JoJo so I could be near people I knew in case I actually hit the ground. Which I did not do because I sat on a trailer for a few minutes, and the blood flow was restored to all parts of my body, and all was well. A long while later we found a food truck selling water, and I was fully healthy again. The worst thing of all was that they ran out of water on the course for the runners. Though there seemed to be bananas aplenty. So as far as mud runs go, I'd say that the Rogue Runner has some catching up to do.

I think I am just envious that I am not allowed to participate in mud obstacle courses, being that I am carrying precious cargo and everything. The boys had a really great time, which was the most important thing, so all in all I'd say it was a worthwhile venture.

Six hours later, I was back at home and preparing the goods for Easter. I even fit in a short jog since I hadn't gotten much gym time in the previous two days. By the end of the day, I was bone tired. Like my legs and my feet were hurting when I just walked around the house. What is it about being in the sun that really zaps you of energy?

We got a lazy start to the Easter morning, then put some monkey bread in the oven for breakfast across the street with our family. The boys had an Easter egg hunt in the backyard, and then Cruz and I competed in a belly-off to see whose was bigger. I think I've finally surpassed him, so I took home the medal in this competition.

Cruz and Uncle

Hudson's new toy

I got worms

Cruz taking some careful measurements

I don't know guys, what do you think?

Yep, she takes it. Cruz's belly no longer rules the neighborhood.

We took advantage of the holiday slowness at the health club and went for a midday sweat and soak before heading over to the park to celebrate with our extended family. Aunt Lucy's lasagna and Uncle Carlo's marinated chicken are not to be missed. It was so nice to see everyone; even my cousins from Wisconsin made it. I received many belly rubs, and a couple exclamations of "are you sure there's not twins in there?" The answer: I'm not sure, but the doctor seems pretty confident that I'm only growing one.

It was a very full and busy and exhausting weekend, but it was really great. We were about due to have one of those weekends where you cram every second full of activity. I've enjoyed the slow pace, but I like to throw some crazy busy into the mix sometimes.

Off the Map

2013-03-31T18:29:00.003-07:00

Where have I been? The answer to that is right where you left me. Somehow it's been pretty busy around here. I feel like I deserve an eye-roll for that...how can a person who works three days a week actually be busy? Well somehow I am. Busy enjoying the spring before the days get unbearable and just doing the things I like to do (and have to do). We are getting into home improvement again before stuff like that goes on the back burner at the end of summer. Skylights, backsplash, under cabinet lighting, installing an industrial strength water softener (well water...ick), clearing out the plants that died in the winter freeze and getting some new ones, re-planting the garden. Ya know. I don't enjoy doing grown-up stuff like this, but I'm always glad with the end result. We're also prepping for a beach vacation, some company, and a little reveal party for the gender of our fetus coming up in the next few weeks. I spent this weekend baking up a storm for a couple different Easter get-togethers, as well as photographing the boys at the Rogue Run and joining my old friend Steph and her family for a Friday night at Jalapeno Inferno. My memory escapes me for what else has gone on since the last blog post, but it's something along the lines of family, friends, food, and fun.

Anyway, here are some random pictures that I gathered from the last week or so. I have a bunch on the big camera from the Rogue Run and Easter that I'll be featuring on the blog later this week.

Not getting any smaller.

I envy a dog's life.

Happy hour at the river.

My mom found our (4-year old) wedding cake top in the freezer. Yes that is a bug, and yes it went directly into the trash.

That's all I got, but I promise to be back sooner rather than later!

Ladies Who Lunch and Urban Sprawl

2013-03-19T16:34:00.000-07:00

Today I found myself all over town running a variety of errands from a doctor's appointment, to putting in time at the gym, to meeting for lunch, to the car wash, to dress (and soap and craft) shopping, to grocery shopping. I thought it would be perfect: a random Tuesday morning/afternoon when normal people would be conducting business in their offices leaving me to do my thing without a crowd or a hassle.

And then it took me three lights to make it through every single intersection and wasting what I consider to be very precious time. How could I forget about the snowbirds? And the plethora of Ladies Who Lunch in this city? People were EVERYWHERE! I was annoyed, but I survived the experience.

I'm just as guilty as the next person, however. I was, in fact, a lady who lunched on a Tuesday afternoon. With my pal and Cuba-roomie, Bart. We met up at Ajo Al's, an old staple. I love going to any restaurant or store that actually existed when I was a teenager or younger. Living in Scottsdale doesn't exactly feel like home because I rarely travel the roads or visit the places of the 80's and 90's. Darn that urban sprawl (to which I have contributed by buying a home 28 miles from City Hall). Now I find myself doing my errands and going about my business among snooty company and in brand-new places that are sterile and culture-less.

So here I am, poor, poor me. I had to run errands with other people fortunate enough to get outside on a beautiful spring day rather than wasting their life in an office, and I had to visit places that are too new and clean to provide me with a real cultural experience. But I am guilty of making these places crowded on what should be a slow weekday, and I am also guilty of living and consuming in a newer part of town, and thus contributing to the necessity of newer shopping centers and stores.

And then I also remember: At least I got to eat lunch on this day. At least I have the liberty of shopping for a dress that will accommodate a body with a few extra pounds. And doing whatever the heck else I want to do. What a pathetic use of time to complain about snowbirds and the sterility of this city. Pretty soon I'll be 150 pounds and it will be 150 degrees and my ankles will look like tree trunks, and then I'll have something real to complain about.

Zest & Spice

2013-03-17T19:22:00.002-07:00

I think the return of my energy (at least partially) goes hand in hand with my zest for writing and my sometimes spicy attitude. Or maybe it's just that I got another hour to an hour and a half back in each day. So here I am again!

Second Weekend was fabulous, as always. I honestly don't know what I did before I had it, but I do know I was tired and angrier, in general. I met up with mom and Aunt Ange and Sumer for a bite at Red Robin. We have tons of unique restaurants in this city, but sometimes you just have to go with a good ol' American chain. I love seeing my family, but with everyone spread out over the city and with very hectic lives, it's not always so easy to do, so I am very thankful for these get-togethers. Dylan and I also took a trip down to the river, among other things, which were boring but very productive. I rounded out the week with a visit to Jess and Hazel, who provided me with an abundance of literature and clothing to accommodate a growing belly. Maybe when Jess is ready for round 2 I'll have doubled this stash of maternity wear that we've accumulated between the two of us. Thanks for the loan, J! With that, and the clothes on loan from my sister-in-law, I should be all decked out for this summer.

This weekend brought a couple of social gatherings. The Probstfelds' threw their second annual St. Patrick's Day party on Saturday afternoon, complete with a huge meal of lamb stew, Shepherd's pie, corned beef and cabbage, and soda bread. Oh, and cupcakes! The boys enjoyed a few Irish car bombs as well. Anne never fails to provide a huge and delicious spread of food. It had been far too long since we'd seen our friends, so it was so nice to get together.

Dylan and I had to scoot out a touch early to make it to the Cash for Cash benefit. My friend Kristen planned the event to raise money for her nephew who was born 14 weeks early and has spent months in the hospital. He's doing great and growing fast! It was great to see Kris and her family and to witness the generosity of so many people. The event was huge, and Kris did a great job. Numerous generous raffle items were donated, as well as wine, beer, and food. Sometimes I come home from my day and think that people suck, but it's events like this that prove the humanity that exists in our community.

We zipped down to Tempe after the benefit to scoop up our friend Eric who was sent here from Salt Lake by the airline to sit reserve. Which means he planned to spend the weekend with us. The boys played video games while I caught up on my ZZZs, and today we headed out to watch the Mariners after a waffle breakfast, a visit from the nephews, and a quick jog. Nevermind the two stadiums that are right here on Scottsdale soil...these boys are both PNW-bred, so to Peoria we went for this spring training game. I spent most of the time scouting out the food situation and reading a book (since I could care less about any baseball team, or any team ever, for that matter). It was hot, but with an occasional breeze to provide us some relief. I survived a mild sunburn on both shoulders but was granted my wish to stop for ice cream, a staple in my life at this point, on the way home.

Hudson was very wrapped up in Uncle and Eric's video game this morning.

This went on for a while.

Uncle, what are you doing under the table?

Pinch me, I did not wear green.

My only complaint at this point is that the TeuxDeux app update completely wiped my old to-do list. I live by that thing, and I sincerely hope I'm not forgetting about something important that needs to be done. Oh, and I could also complain about being the only person around here who actually has to show up to work to earn a paycheck. But if you know me at all, you know that goes without saying.

Spring is in the air, the mood is good, and we are well. It is a mighty fine life, my friends.

All the other things

2013-03-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

What else, might you ask, have I been doing around here besides sleeping and growing? A variety of things, actually. I haven't been great about keeping up with our day-to-day lives, but I love looking back on this stuff when I print my blog book, so I wanted to get caught up. We have had so many weekends in a row with not much planned, and it's been really terrific. At times, it's seemed we were constantly busy and had a million things going on, but lately we've been really, really enjoying a slower pace. Here is a very long, not concise summary.

Watching: Downton Abbey (believe the hype...it's really good), Girls (I enjoy the general shock factor of it, though I could do without so much naked Lena Dunham), and Nashville (this I watch on the little iPad screen early in the morning from time to time when I'm the only one awake).

We finished Season 1 of Downton and are very much looking forward to the next one. Over the last month, Dylan and I would typically sit down together after dinner to start an episode, and then I'd fall asleep in the first 15 minutes and have to make it up on my own time so that we could start the next episode together. Well, I stayed up for the entire final three episodes (and season 1 only has six of them), which means I've really turned a corner on this fatigue. Yay! And now I'm contemplating diving into some Jane Austen novels, which I found completely boring and not worth my time in high school, but which I think I'll just love. The other two shows are great, but have been put on the back burner for now.

Listening to: A lot more talk radio than normal. With me home four days a week and Dylan home seven days a week right now, we spend a lot of time together in the car driving out to hike, run errands, go to the gym, or whatever. He's a big NPR fan, and I've always enjoyed This American Life, but now we've also gotten into the Freakonomics podcast. I've even listened to an episode or two of Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me. My favorites recently have been the TAL episode about coincidences and the Freakonomics episode about the upside of quitting. (Yes! You can quit something, and you probably should, even if you've invested a lot of time in it already!). We've also been utilizing our Spotify membership and have grown to love two little bands, The Avett Brothers and The Wheeler Brothers. Or maybe they're hugely popular...I don't know what the cool kids are listening to these days.

Reading: I FINALLY finished Freedom this morning while Dylan was still asleep. It's a 560-something page book that I've been reading since last summer. No exaggeration. I've fit in a couple of good books in-between, but I recently made it my goal to finish this monster before I started anything else. I'm just not cut-out to read very long books...so never again will I try. I bought about a dozen books on a Kindle sale a while back, and I'm excited to dig into some of those.

Doing: I've given up many of my favorite classes at the gym because I don't know how good it is for me to be shuffling across gymnasiums and jumping over hurdles. I fell one time a few months ago, and that was when my center of gravity was right where it should be. But I do still have a couple classes that I go to each week and sometimes sweat it out on the Stairmaster. However, since the weather has been so lovely, I've mostly been jogging for exercise, or Dylan and I load up the dogs and go for a hike. We also tried to take them to the Chaparral Dog Park this weekend, but it was closed because of the one day of rain that happened two days beforehand. This city is so poor at drainage. So we enjoyed a walk around the lake and had lunch at DeFalco's instead. We love being outside this time of year.

I've also been cooking like crazy. Our house has been very well-stocked with food since we have the time to run to the store a couple times a week. We spent our yearly Costco rebate last week and had a hay day buying tons and tons of fresh fruit and other great stuff. And with Pinterest at my fingertips, I'm always baking or cooking up something interesting. Our fridge is loaded with leftover containers. I never knew I was such a Betty Crocker, but I would say that cooking is my number 1 hobby right now. I've also been using my Cricut (a really cool paper cutting machine) to make stuff, and I even busted out the sewing machine and hemmed my first pair of jeans all by myself like a big girl! The rest of my time at home is spent working on projects around the house, and our house is cleaner than normal, too, which is always a nice touch.

We've kept our social calendar fairly busy as well. Dylan and I had a great time visiting with our pal The Big Cat and his wife, Luz, on Friday. They flew in from San Francisco for the Spring Training games in the midst of the most horrible weather. What a bummer. But we had fun at Dos Gringos and later at Yogurtology. I've become quite the yogurt and ice cream fan. I can't imagine why. This weekend brings a couple of fun events, and I'm looking forward to nailing down some dates to visit with friends that I haven't seen in a while in the coming weeks.

I do a tiny bit of work for the pharmacy that I can do from home, and these meetings are usually scheduled on my days off, so not all of my days off are fully off. But that's fine with me. Dylan is keeping busy with a real estate project, and he still has his hands in his flying job, even though he isn't actually flying a plane right now. There are those days when he goes golfing, or on a rhino ride, or does some other form of recreation, while I am at work. Then I get jealous and act like a real brat, but it passes quickly. Usually, anyway. Somebody, and I won't mention names, sometimes sends a to-do list to his inbox before he/she leaves for work in the morning. Dylan does a great job at holding down the fort and tackling house projects with only minimal nagging from my end.

So as you can see, I have much spare time at my fingertips, but I pack every second of it full. Even if it's just sitting down to read for an hour, I consider that time well spent. I know I only get one life, and I plan on wasting none of my time, ever. Pretty soon my time won't belong to me anymore, so I am soaking up doing whatever I want, whenever I want, as much as possible. Somehow I still have long to-do lists of things that sometimes take forever to get crossed off, and I seem like I never have enough time to fit everything in, like re-designing my hideous blog...but isn't that how we all are? It's a very simple life we've got going right now, but it's never been better.

Thoughts on Growing a Human

2013-03-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

In fact, I did not swallow a bowling ball. Something is indeed growing in my belly, and all signs thus far indicate that it's a tiny human. Or maybe not so tiny. That's one humongous bump when you consider the fact that I'm only 15 weeks along. Not to worry, though. Dylan promised me that he'd make me a comfy spot in the garage once I can no longer fit in the house.

Over time I've realized quite a bit of irony surrounding this bit of interesting news. Here you have it:

1. We always joked that we were going to wait until after 12/21/12 to have a baby because we wanted to make sure we wouldn't have an extra mouth to feed in a post-apocalyptic world. How interesting to find out I was knocked up on 12/22/12.

2. We weren't trying for a baby at this point in time. In fact, I highly encouraged Dylan to frequently visit the sauna, steam room, and hot tub in an effort to slow down his swimmers. He willingly followed these instructions. Let it be known that this is not an effective form of birth control.

3. After joining the ranks of underinsured Americans for months and months, we had finally received full health coverage. For a while we wanted a baby but had no maternity insurance. Then we got full insurance but didn't want a baby. Our insurance has an active coverage date of one week pre-Day 1 of pregnancy. This is a case of good timing if you look at it that way. Lucky us, we just dodged a very expensive bullet.

4. I had just had what would be my final glass of wine for a painfully long time the night before this startling discovery. Tariq and I were at happy hour at Z Tejas and had just had a discussion on finding passion in life and the benefits of milking our child-free years.

But I'll start at the beginning. I don't know what compelled me to pee on a stick just before we were to catch our flight to Oregon for Christmas. I was packing my toiletries and it was in the drawer, where it had sat lonely for probably six months. Instinctively, I must have known something was up.

Dylan had no idea what I was doing and was rambling about something when I told him to come take a look at the startling test results. For a while we had tried for a baby, but I had recently changed my mind about child-bearing. I think we had waited too long and I had heard too many stories from people with small kids, and the thought of it freaked me out at the time. So he asked me if what I saw made me angry.

Creating a human life is truly a miracle, so no, I couldn't really be upset by this kind of news. Shocked and scared, yes.

Over the previous months, I had fully decided that I not meant for motherhood. I thought that focusing on baby-making was just an exhausting and a futile use of time and energy, and I didn't know if I was up for the task of mothering a child if we were to succeed in planting a seed. I was meant for something great, because we all are, but being a mom just wasn't it. I liked my destiny, and I had made many mental travel plans and got excited about what would come next...whatever that was.

And then I found myself knocked up. But isn't this the way these kind of things usually go? At first I spent a long time fearing another miscarriage and having to go through that whole horse and pony show again. I was so nervous to go to that first ultrasound in January, but when they confirmed the existence of a baby and a heartbeat, I was quickly relieved for about two seconds. After that I realized I might actually become a mom this time.

Call me pessimistic, but I am among the belief that this world is not always a great place. Climate change and global warming, drought, food supply problems, social and political unrest, solar flares, national debt, mass shootings and violence, weapons of mass destruction. These are problems with no feasible solutions at this time or maybe ever. Goodness, that's a lot to leave on the shoulders of our next generation. And also, not only do we pay into social security for other people's retirement while trying to fund our own retirement, but now we have to pay for a person's college. And if you have one kid, then you should probably have another. So, things are starting to sound very expensive when all I want is financial freedom. (Or do we really have to pay for our children's college? Don't a lot of young people pay for their own college?)

But all that aside, I've had a couple months now to get accustomed to the idea of having another small person living in this house. As much as I hear about how kids are a huge pain in the ass, I also hear how it's the most rewarding and best thing ever. I don't fully understand that, and I've never had the biggest maternal instinct, but I trust that it will kick in just in time. It should be a real adventure, and as with any new experience, I'm looking forward to it and plan on tackling the challenge of motherhood head-on. I've been blessed in many ways, but most especially with a partner in parenting who will undoubtedly be the world's finest father. With Dylan by my side, I always know that everything will be okay. This is no exception, but it won't just be okay, it will be awesome. I just have to live it to know it, I think. And when he's working and not by my side, well, it will be rough but I guess I'll have to tough it out because really I don't have any other option.

Luckily we haven't had a lot going on over the last few months, except for a couple of ski trips. My body has mandated a 7:30 bedtime, and I've had aversions to the strangest things while somehow managing to maintain the appetite of a horse. When your days are cut short like that, it really hurts productivity. If you go to work, go for a jog, and make dinner, there's no time for much of anything else. Every day I've had to give something up, and I don't really like that. (Pretty soon I'll have to give up my whole way of life, so I guess I should get used to it.) But luckily I've had no barfing. I've pretty much maintained my normal way of life, plus a couple extra hours of sleep every night and minus a few other chores and tasks here and there.

Now that I am in week 15, I should get to feeling back to normal soon, though I cannot shake the fatigue. I honestly feel like I've been shot in the neck with a tranquilizer dart after dozing off in the first five minutes of How I Met Your Mother. I've also been very on edge and hesitant to get excited about the whole thing because of all the scary things that come along with pregnancy. But even though I'm sure I'll have plenty to worry about the whole way through, I'm starting to feel a lot better about the whole thing. It seems more and more real as I get bigger and bigger. If it weren't for the expanding girth of my mid-section, I probably would have kept this a secret until I popped out a healthy baby. So I'm hoping for the best and trying my hardest to focus on the excitement of it all.

And you may be wondering about all those ski trips I've taken against all medical, parental, spousal, friendly, and practical advice. I'd like to think of this as a situation of knowing your body and knowing your limits. I'm glad I took those trips, and I think that driving to work is probably more dangerous than a few days on the slopes. However, my belly has now reached a certain level of rotundness, and I think my days of skiing and other similar activities are behind me until I birth a child (and then find a babysitter).

Our due date is August 29th, but I'm fairly confident I'll go into labor on Labor Day. It's going to be a long, hot, fat summer, my friends. Oh, and please, I only want pregnancy and parenting advice that will make me feel good. Thanks for that.

Skiing Perfection

2013-03-03T18:21:00.000-07:00

We've been able to get outside quite a bit in the last week. I trekked Pinnacle Peak last weekend and braved the fast winds and temps in the high 40s, but it was all warmth and sunshine after that. Dylan and I hiked the Jewel of the Creek in Cave Creek on Wednesday and hit the Tonto Grill for lunch afterwards. I think fresh air is so good for the soul.

Adventure Dog

Not a cloud in sight

Visiting the little horseys on one of our many afternoon walks

Joe made friends with the baby-mini

This weekend we headed due northeast to the family cabin in Show Low. My brother's family and my parents were already there and had spent the day sledding and building a snowman. After I got off work on Friday we rushed to get our act together and made the journey for a Friday night arrival.

The temperature in Phoenix on Saturday was 85, which mean the temperature on Sunrise was absolute perfection. And with all the cold winter storms and piles of snow a couple of weeks ago, we had nearly perfect snow conditions too. Minus a little slush in the afternoon, but that's to be expected on a day when it's too warm to even wear gloves. My dad, Dylan, and I put in a long day on the slopes and met up with some of our friends from Prescott for a few runs, too. It was really the most fantastic day of skiing I can remember in a very long time. As I basked in the glory of the warmth and reiterated that this day was so much better than that frighteningly cold day at Snowbird, Dylan said to me, "You are just an Arizona skiier." Maybe that was meant to be an insult, but it couldn't be more true. Max had to bail half way to the mountain because he got a call to fly the jet, so his whole family headed home. It was a bummer to see them go, but we had a yummy chicken dinner with my parents.

Dylan was quite pleased about putting in some fresh tracks.

This morning, we read the paper and cooked breakfast and got a slow start to the day. We followed it up with a long walk on the golf course with the dogs before heading back home for the afternoon. It looks like we've got another lovely week on tap. I'm looking forward to some more adventures!

Putting out peanuts for the bluebirds.

Ramona wanted pancakes, too.

Joe in the Snow.

Ra Dog running wild!

Food Party!

2013-02-24T13:48:00.004-07:00

Our big excitement of the weekend was yet another fantastic party at Patti's house. We didn't have a specific theme this time, except to bring food. With this crowd, I know I can always expect a spread of delicious appetizers from every food group. We had fruit with key lime dip, Mata's enchiladas, fried macaroni and cheese balls, stuffed mushrooms, shrimp, fried chicken, cowboy caviar dip, bacon wrapped dates, meatballs, tortellini salad, veggie trays, dips, chips, cakes, etc. galore! It took about five minutes for us to stuff our faces with at least one of everything, which kept us satisfied for the remainder of the night.

Here's the spread after everyone had stuffed their faces. Now that's impressive.

In addition to the food, Patti had opened a bottle of wine in every color. Not just one red and one white, but every shade of white and red, and everything in-between. Dylan was sure to sample each one, and had an incredible red wine hangover this morning. Everyone was happy to see him (over-) indulge in the drinks instead of yours truly, for once.

For my contribution, I whipped up two recipes I had found on the tried and true Pinterest. First were these cream cheese chicken taquitos, which were very well-received. I also made this yellow cake/vanilla pudding/Cool Whip/Nilla wafers cake. It also received high remarks. I'd recommend either one to take to a party.

Amanda made up the traditional King Cake in honor of Mardi Gras and sent me home with a sizable chunk. (Thanks, A!) She also snuck in the tiny plastic baby that she hides in the cake every year. In this crowd, the person who gets the baby in their King Cake has to throw the next party. Sounds good to me! I'll fill you in on the details as they materialize.

I was sure to bring home a sampler platter with me. I wonder if anyone will think it's weird when they see me eat their leftovers for lunch tomorrow at work. I doubt it. Nothing about me and eating at work can surprise anybody anymore. I'm kind of famous for my appetite.