Kurt and Alice dated for four years before getting married, 1 1/2 of which was long distance.  When they dating long distance, they would spend hours and hours talking on the phone.  They hated to hang up and disconnect with each other.  They always said, “Goodbye, temporarily!”

With the help of my florist friend, I put together the funeral flowers. I chose flowers that I had used for Kurt and Alice’s wedding: white roses and blue hydrangea. There were also white lilies, white freesia, white hydrangea, and blue delphinium. Kurt and Alice’s wedding colors were blue and white.

It was a beautiful service, filled with wonderful praises to Alice and beautiful musical numbers. My favorite was Andante Sostenudo by Schubert performed by Scott Holden. I imagined it as the background music to the whole day.

Alice is a beautiful person and we celebrated her life. But it was hard to ignore the tragedy of it all. It was a sad event.

Her kids put these stickers on her casket.

My brother was a champion throughout the whole day. I probably wouldn’t have been able to stop crying if I were him. But he was strong and solemn, determined more than ever to earn his place next to Alice in Heaven by being the best father he can be. I cried when I thought of that happy day when they will be reunited.

This is Squaw Peak, the spot right next to the church where her funeral was held. It was beautiful weather, on the warm side and hardly a cloud in the sky. Just the type of day where Kurt and Alice would go up the canyon to have a picnic.

My own little Lukey wasn’t feeling great. He’d gotten in the path of a Nerf bat and got this lovely shiner. And later that night he threw up ten times and almost went to the hospital. Not our best week.

Funerals are necessary for closure, I feel.  But my grief of losing Alice is still just as resounding as before.  At times the ache will hit me like a load of bricks and I’ll be overcome with sadness.  But it is nothing compared to the hole left in my brother’s heart.  I know that it won’t be easy, but I have complete confidence in my brother’s abilities to be a wonderful and competent single father. And I believe that he is 100% determined to do everything he can.  He loves his children so very much and wants to share that love and Alice’s love with them every single day for the rest of their life.

I also want to thank you all for your wonderful and generous donations and contributions.  Whether it be monetary or service oriented, each one is such a wonderful blessing and demonstration of the good that exists in this world.  We feel so loved, supported, and cared for.  And I know that my brother would give every one of you a hug of immense gratitude.  He is very, very thankful for all of the help.  We all are.  So from the bottom of our hearts:  thank you.

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***

A good tablecloth can really set the mood for a party. It becomes the base for all the food and decor you have planned and can tell your guests if your part is going to have a sweet or sassy vibe to it.

I had this specific tablecloth in mind for the party I was designing, and being on a limited budget, I was not going to be able to shell out nearly a hundred dollars for what I wanted at my dream stores such as Anthropologie or Layla Grayce. My next best option was to make one myself, and for much less expensive. The version I came up with only cost me a mere $15, and really, if you were a better shopper or thrifter than I, you could create one of these babies for even cheaper.

I created my tablecloth using two plain white sheets from Wal-Mart. Based upon the measurements of my table (a 6 ft. by 2.5 ft. table), I knew I was going to need a full-sized flat sheet and a twin sized flat sheet. For the rest of this fab little tutorial (and for the sake of my sanity), I’m going to use the measurements that I used. I’ll explain how I got those numbers so you can calculate yours if your table is a different size.

1. I first cut three panels that were 73″ x 31″. One for the top and two for the sides, making sure to leave enough on the edges for an adequate seam allowance. Then I cut the two side panels to 31″ x 31″ so I’d have an adequate seam allowance there too. This is probably a trick that most people already know, but its new to me so I thought I’d share. If you make a little snip with your scissors on the grain line, you can rip the fabric the rest of the way up and it will rip in a straight line. This saved me so much time!

Momma's Little Measurement Helper

2. Now take the rest of your fabric and cut it into 4″ wide strips. Lots and lots of strips. Sew each strip end to end so you end up with one ginormously long 4″ wide strip.

3. Each of the ruffles is double the length of the panel. Get that? Basically, for each of the long panels, you’ll need two strips that are 146″ long (73″ x 2) and for each of the short panels you’ll need to strips that are 62″ long (31″ x 2). If you need to shorten these strip by a couple of inches so that you have enough material, go for it. In the grand scheme of ruffles, it’s okay.

4. Now that you have each of your strips cut, let the ruffling begin! Now I have learned since I created my tablecloth that there is a magical ruffler foot that can do all of the impending hard work for you, but a little hard work never hurt anyone, right? If you put your stitch length on your machine to its longest and the tension at its highest, your machine sans ruffler foot will still create some of the ruffles on its own. Run two sets of these stitches down the middle of each cut strip.

5. Now that you have the double stitch up the center, take the thread on one side of one end and start pushing your fabric done making sure to spread the ruffles out along the whole length. You’ll want to get your ruffles down to the original length of your panels: 73″ and 31″ long, respectively. You’ll end up with one gorgeous pile of ruffles.

6. Take a break from your ruffles for a few minutes. Using an iron, fold both short edges and one long edge of each panel approximately 1/2″ and press flat. This will make sewing your hem infinitely easier.

7. Lay your panels out flat and begin pinning your ruffles to the panels. I used a tape measure sporadically on mine to make sure my ruffle was level across the length of my panel. My bottom ruffle started 3″ from the bottom and the second ruffle stacked right on top of that. When one panel was finished being pinned, I lined up the next panel next to it, making sure that the ruffle placement matched up.

8. If you are in the throes of this lovely tutorial, take a moment to have a small break, eat some chocolate, regroup. Breathe deep. Important step in the process; musn’t be skipped.

9. Take each panel with the ruffles pinned to it and run a single straight stitch down the center of each ruffle. Your setting on your machine should be back to normal now.

10. When all ruffles are sewn to the panels, take each panel one by one and sew it *right sides facing* to the top panel. When you’ve finished all four sides, you are done! Give your self a firm pat on the back for a job well done.

You’ll probably notice that the sides of this particular tablecloth are open. That was done intentionally so that your guests could fit their legs under the table. If you chose to sew the side seams shut, your tablecloth would be perfectly tailored, but perfectly uncomfortable for people to sit at. I thought about adding ties in each corner to give it that extra special touch. Maybe next time!

***

Heidi: you and your family are in my prayers during this difficult time; I pray that each of you find peace and healing.

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Mother’s Day is bittersweet this year.  I am blessed and fortunate to have my own mother alive and healthy on this earth.  But we are all aching for one new mom who can’t be with us here on earth.  But I know that she is looking down on her children and guiding us to help them grow up without her.  They will know that their mother was a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and generous person who loves them very much.  Even if they only knew each other a few days.

I’ve been going through old videos of her and her family and each time it hurts my heart a little.  But at the same time I am so happy to hear her voice, still clear as day in my head.

Tomorrow we will lay her body to rest in the earth.  Something about it is so final.  Even though her spirit is in Heaven, her body has been in the mortuary, still being able to be seen.  Once that casket is placed in the ground and buried with six feet of dirt, we won’t see it again until the Holy Resurrection.  But then it will be perfect.

Alice’s body failed her here on earth.  But her spirit is perfect and lives on in another realm.  She will watch over us all and guide the unborn souls to our family.  And she will visit my brother and give him peace.  And some day they will be together again.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mothers living and deceased.

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The loss of a loved one is a strange surreal reality.  Life is completely normal except for one large, gaping hole.  Each day the pain seems to become more real and defined as the actuality of what has happened sinks in.

My dear sister-in-law Alice gave birth last Wednesday to a beautiful baby girl.  Unfortunately she contracted a horrible infection, strep A toxic shock.  It hit her like a tidal wave and after a hard fight, she succumbed to the illness.

Alice was released from this world on Wednesday night, although she may have left her body before then.  Her husband, my sweet brother, was left behind to take care of their two little boys and newborn daughter.  He is not alone, of course.  All of his family will be there to help him raise these precious little kids.

I am blessed to now be near my family and helping out where I can.  My brother is doing his best to be brave, but breaks now and then.  We were looking at picture together of his wife, trying to pick out a good one for the obituary and he put his head in his hands and wept.

So many of you have reached out and wondered how you can help.  That support and love is astounding, overwhelming, and wonderful.  We wondered of a way that people who wanted to help could.  So we opened a donation account for Alice’s family.  This money will go towards funeral costs, residual medical expenses, and the costs of raising children without a mother or a job.  My brother is going through a very difficult thing and while nothing can replace the ache of losing his sweetheart, any sort of donation will help to ease the burdens a little.

If you would like to donate money directly, you can do it easily by clicking the “Donate” button on my right sidebar.  You can donate through Paypal, credit card, or e-check (a check directly from your bank account.)  Any and all donations are appreciated.  However, if you don’t have anything to donate, might I ask you to donate your time?

Please write a post on your blog or facebook directing your friends and family to this post.  You may use any of these beautiful printables that my talented friend Lara made for us to put on your blog.  These printables represent the music that Alice made in her life–being a PhD in music.  She was the most gifted pianist I knew.

Music was her passion. But her family was her life. She figuratively and literally gave her life for her children. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

From the bottom of our grief-stricken hearts: Thank you.

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I appreciate all of your comments, love, and prayers.  We thought for a brief moment that my sister-in-law would be healed.  But God is all-knowing and He has another plan for Alice.  She took a turn for the worse Monday night and was declared brain dead on Tuesday.  She died of streptococcal toxic shock syndrome, caused by an infection of Strep A.  She is leaving behind her husband (my brother) and three little kids. We are all so very heartbroken.  I am also in complete shock.

For awhile it felt almost like a game–some scary, dramatic game.  One where you play the game for a little while but then you’re ready to be done.  ”Okay–it’s time for Alice to get all better and for life to go on like normal!”  But it can’t.  And that is a giant slap in the face.  And it doesn’t seem to real to me at all.  I keep waiting for everything to return to normal.

Everyone who knew Alice would say the same thing:  she was an angel.  An absolute angel.  She was the type of person who would light up when you entered the room and shout out your name, “Heidi!”  She had the biggest most beautiful smile of perfect white teeth.  She had long gorgeous brown hair.  She laughed at everything.  She was my favorite person to give gifts to because she got absolutely giddy when she unwrapped it.  She was also an extremely gifted pianist, who studied in London and got her doctorate in piano.  I feel absolutely privileged to have been a part of her life.  I feel now more than ever, she must have been too good for this world.  She was a much better person than I.

I think I’m still in the denial stage of grief.  I really just cannot believe it’s happened.  Every time I remember I just think it’s not real.  It can’t be.  She was always so strong and healthy and happy.  But now she’s gone.  Losing a loved one, on top of being incredibly sad, is just strange.  It’s a strange reality that feels like a bad dream.

But that being said, I know Alice is in a better place.  I know she has family in heaven who greet her with open arms.  I’m so grateful for that knowledge, because it makes this a little bit easier.  Earth life is not the end, I truly believe.  We will see her again.

I love you, Alice.  Until we meet again.

*I wish I had some better pictures but this is the best I can do on short notice.  The next few weeks will be pretty busy so bear with me…the blog might get a little barren.

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These pens are very easy to use and not messy at all.  Anyone can use these pens–even little kids.  So much nicer than trying to deal with a big paint mess!

This would be a great craft activity at a party–or a baby shower!  Make a onesie!  Or you could do a quick Mother/Father’s day gift by buying a blank apron and drawing on it.  So many possibilities. 

First I had to buy the Painters markers at Walmart.  They were a little tricky to find since I checked the kids art stuff section first (you know, where all the Crayola products are.)  But they weren’t there–they were right by all the acrylic paint!  So if you want to find these pens, look in the paint and craft section.

It was nice because you could buy them in a pack or separately if you wanted to mix and match colors. There was a good selection too–I wish I’d gotten some gold and silver!  I bought all mine separately so I could get these colors:  teal, pink, yellow, black, and white.  And each pen only costs $1.97.

To use these pens, you just shake them up a little and then tap (or pump, rather) the soft tip until the paint comes out.  It is pretty evenly distributed which is so nice–no big globs.  To apply it to the fabric, make sure you have something underneath because the paint does seep through.

To start making your words or design, I found it worked the best to do a stippling method, making small dots rather than dragging the paint marker.  The knit fabric doesn’t glide well with it.  The nice thing about these pens on fabric is that it’s not very stiff.  It’s a little stiff where the paint is, but since you can draw finer lines than with a paintbrush, there’s not as much surface area to get stiff.

I wanted to test these pens out on some other surfaces too.  I tried it first on some Mason jars.  I LOVE the teal on the Mason jar.  It wrote so smoothly and looked thick and nice, unlike a marker.  I also used my white to add some dots to the letters (I labeled this jar “rotary cutters”) and I love how it turned out.

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The best part of blogging is the friendships I have made and the wonderful comments from my lovely readers.  It is seriously so amazing when you go through a hard thing and everyone rallies around with prayers and sympathy.   And now I need your prayers more than ever.

My wonderful sweet sister-in-law had a beautiful baby girl a few days ago.  We were all so happy for her and my brother.  They have two little boys and now a little girl–just like I do.  But then my sister-in-law got sick.  Very, very sick.  And now she is in the hospital in critical condition.  She was in so much pain that the morphine didn’t seem to even help.  Her blood pressure was all over the place:  too high, too low.  I won’t go into the details, but she is unconscious in the Intensive Care Unit with many serious health problems and they just don’t know what it really is.

I can only imagine what my brother must be going through right now as he watches his beautiful wife struggle between life and death.  Terrifying thoughts of single parenthood, her children growing up without her, her daughter never even knowing her have crossed my own mind.  I wish I could be there to help in any way but I feel helpless as he must, to just sit and wait.

But there is one bright glimmer of hope:  the hope that comes from believing in God.  Belief in a God who loves us and hears our prayers and our pleas can give us the strength to get through our darkest hours.  Knowing that He will be there for us one way or another is powerful beyond belief.  I can’t imagine how you could get through it without a belief in a Savior who loves us and suffered for our sins and knows all our pains.  I really can’t.  I went to church today and just prayed unceasingly for His comfort and healing.

I made this graphic today with one of my favorite scriptures from Doctrine and Covenants 121:7.  ”My son, peace be unto you, thine adversity is but a small moment.”  It always helps me feel peace when I’m going through a hard time.

God may not choose to heal her and that is a very sad reality to face–one that I just can’t deal with right now.  But I believe that there is an afterlife where we can all be together again someday.  And looking at it with an eternal view, our life on earth seems like a blip on the timeline.  Of course it is never easy to lose a loved one, especially before their time.  But without the hope that we can see them again, we have nothing.

We must have Hope.  We must have Faith.  And we must have the pure love of Jesus Christ–Charity.

Please pray for Alice.  Thank you.

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The Blueprint Social is a company started by Amy Anderson of Mod Podge Rocks and Heather Mann of Dollar Store Crafts.  These ladies know TONS about craft blogging (they are also the Crafterminds ladies!) and business.  They’ve been in the biz for a long time and noticed a need for better communication between bloggers and craft companies.  So they are working their butts off booking campaign after campaign.  But they are always in need of craft bloggers to be on their Blogger list!  If you are averaging at least 25,000 monthly page views, then please apply here!

**This is not a sponsored post, Amy and Heather did not ask me to blog about the Blueprint Social.  I just think they’re awesome and I love being a part of it!  

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By the way–I am SO excited to move to my new place.  It’s going to be so much bigger and it has a ton of light coming in.  (Cue angels singing and Heaven opening.)

So I whipped up some pillow cases this week, one from the Navy Chevron, done in my 10 Minute Pillow Case method–seriously SO fast, I love it!  And the other I quilted with navy blue thread.

If I were to do this again, I would have quilted the word “beach” or “coast” or something more ocean-related. And I would have gone slower. But I am an impatient person…you should know that about me by now

The style of free-motion quilting I did was one I kind of invented–Coral, to imitate the coral found in the ocean. Kind of looks like seaweed too.  And I threw in some rough “sketches” in there too.

Here’s the rundown:

First, you take the pillow that you want to cover and cut out TWO squares about the same size but with a couple of inches extra.  One can be in muslin because it’s just the back of the quilted piece which you won’t see.  Then cut two pieces of fabric 2/3rds the length of the square you just cut (but same height.)  Those will be for the back.

The next step is basting.  This is just like the Quilted Camera Strap–very quick and easy basting.  You need to get a basting spray.  I have Sullivan’s Original Quilt Basting Spray (the pink can) which has been great.  Just spray each layer, put it together like a batting sandwich (yummmm….batting sandwich…) and smooth out all the wrinkles.

Then use your free motion foot or darning foot to quilt it.  You can go slowly if you are unsure but I like to go fast–it’s a rush!  For the coral pattern you just kind of “draw” it as you go.  I started out doing the typical puzzle quilting but then added the coral affect into it.  You can also draw in a fish or a word or something.  It’s just fun!

After you’ve quilted it, you will assemble the pillowcase.  Trim your quilted piece to a square with straight edges.

Then take the two back side pieces and turn one edge under two times at a 1″ thickness.  Iron the edges down.  Then sew them down.

Place the right sides of the two back pieces against the right side of your quilted piece.  Overlap the two finished edges of the back to make the envelope enclosure.  Pin the sides.

Sew the perimeter with a 3/8ths seam allowance (that’s lining up the edge of the presser foot with the side).  Clip the corners and flip it right side out.

Makes a great cuddler for a cute baby, right?

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I think that is ultimately the hardest part of it–the FOREVER part. I long for a day when I can sit around and eat lots of cookies, chocolate cake, and buttery popcorn.  And as gross as it sounds, I’d like to do that every night.  See, as a mom of three, every evening I am just exhausted.  And nothing sounds more appealing that to just RELAX and INDULGE.

The relax and indulge impulse is something I have to fight pretty much every day.  There is rarely an evening when I don’t want to eat something sweet and unhealthy.  And when I go on a trip–I give myself a free pass to eat whatever I want.  

So when I went to SNAP I fully intended to not even try to eat healthy.  But then I met my friend Vivienne of The V Spot:  a beautiful and health conscious craft blogger.  She was always urging me to make the healthy choice–take the stairs, for example.  As I hung out with her, I started to notice that she would always make the healthy choice, even being on a trip!  I watched her with her lunch, choosing to eat the lunch meat and not the giant white sandwich roll.  I saw her always walking and going up and down the stairs.  And she would talk about her workouts, going to yoga, etc.  I realized something–Viv has made the lifestyle change.  She has committed to good health.

I want to make that commitment too.  But it’s a very different mind set.  I have to stop thinking of myself on a “diet” and just start thinking that eating healthy is just the way I eat.  But what do I do when I want a dessert?  When is it okay to indulge?  And could I really ever just pig out and eat what I want?  It’s not like Vivienne never ate junk food–I was with her at Cafe Rio.  How do you find the balance between being a health nut and being a generally healthy eater?

The thing about Weight Watchers is that you actually CAN eat some junk food–as long as you stay within your points.  But the longer you are on it, the less wiling you are to spend your points on empty calories.  You want each thing you put in your mouth to be the least amount of points possible.

My question is–once you go on Weight Watchers, are you on Weight Watchers forever?  Do you count points until you reach your goal weight and then what?  You stop?  The hope is that by the time you reach your goal weight you have made that lifestyle change.  And hopefully you’ve started exercising to aid your weight loss and you don’t even crave junk food as much.  What do you think?

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