Now that my mother has returned back home to Ohio and the Pomp and Circumstance of graduation is behind me I’m taking my day “off” today.

I took the kids to school early this morning since my husband had already left for the airport to deliver my mother for her flight.  When I got back home around 7:20 this morning Charlotte and I decided to resume our morning snuggles.  We sat on the couch, legs entwined, and giggled over yogurt and cartoons.  There was the occasional ball throwing for the dog or quilt adjustment to keep little feet from peeking out and getting cold.  I sipped coffee, looked around my clean living room, and decided my completed to-do list from yesterday totally makes today day “off” worthy.

We moved our pajama-clad bodies to the bedroom to play some Angry Birds and organize my new writing area.  She hid under the covers while I put files in their place and adjusted things so they were just right.

There was dancing in the shower, the brushing of tangles, and the appreciation for clean yoga pants.  The rest of the day will be spent…I don’t know how.  I don’t really care how either.  The two of us will enjoy this day “off” together in the comfort of our home where snuggles reign and naps are learning to be appreciated again.  There is always time tomorrow to  get things done.  But not today.  Today the graduate is taking a beloved day off…

Tomorrow I walk across the stage.

I’ll stand in front of what I imagine will feel like a million people and my professor will present me with my hood.

The hood that represents my official acceptance of my PhD.

Hands will clap in celebration, pictures will capture parts of the moment, and drinks will toast the ocassion.

I’m nervous.  Excited.  Partially terrified.

But, oh so ready….

Ready for Dr. to be an official part of my name.

While I agree that the whole of feminism is about empowerment I feel that one word is often left out of the discussion:

CHOICE.

It’s a simple word, but a mighty powerful one.  I believe that choice is at the heart of female empowerment.  In all honesty I can only look at feminism through my personal experiences, my specific lens.  I can try to understand and celebrate the perspectives of other women in different situations, but I can only speak from my personal circumstances.

And my circumstances have given me choices.

I have the choice to stay home and raise my children.  It is not a requirement that I live the domestic life and it is in no way oppressive that I choose to do so.

I had the choice to marry who I wanted when I felt I was ready.  It was not dictated to me that I marry a certain person based on social class, race, or economics.  I was able to make the choice based on love and compatibility.

I had the choice to further my education.  I wasn’t limited to one degree or even two.  I chose to push my knowledge as far as it could go and return to school for a PhD.

I have a choice in what causes I support, what charities I contribute to, what doctors I see, what birth control I use or don’t use, and what clothing I slip on everyday.  I had a choice in inking my body with tattoos and having three babies.  And I have choices in how they are raised to view the world.

It is within these choices that the feeling of empowerment lives.  Not every woman person has the opportunity to make these choices.  I know that I’m lucky to have the opportunities that I do.  But, I also know that it is my personal responsibility to raise my children in a manner that teaches them to accept everyone, including women, and help others have access to many of the same choices they do.  I may not be able to change the world but I can be sure that there will be three other souls who will understand that empowerment is something we all deserve.

This post is inspired by I AM FORBIDDEN by Anouk Markovits. Though not sisters by blood but through their Hasidic faith, Mila and Atara views the rules and structure of their culture differently. Mila seeks comfort in the Torah while Atara searches for answers in secular literature she is forbidden to read. Ultimately each must make an irrevocable decision that will change their lives forever. Join From Left to Write on May 8 as we discuss I AM FORBIDDEN. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Two summers ago I was in California with the Yahoo Motherboard for a conference and I tried a mojito for the first time.  It was wonderful – light, refreshing, slightly sweet.

Since then I’ve ordered mojitos a numerous restaurants.  Sometimes they are great, but more often than not they are just too tart.  I have a hard time enjoying any drink that makes me pucker while drinking.

The whole reason I planted mint in my garden this year was to learn to make mojitos.  I knew I wanted to learn to make this drink to my specifications and could easily picture Summer nights on the patio watching the kids run and play while I sipped the perfect hot weather cocktail.  Plus, I don’t feel guilty indulging in a drink now that I’m officially done with school.

Today I decided to try making a simple mojito.  I did a good bit of research online and everyone offered a different recipe.  I decided to play around and tweak one to my liking.  Here’s what I did:

-Make a simple syrup infused with mint.  Start by combining 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar in a pan.  Heat until the sugar dissolves.  Let the mixture cool.  As the mixture cools drop in a handful of fresh mint leaves.  This will give the syrup a nice mint flavor to compliment the drink.  This step actually makes a ton of syrup so feel free to store it in the fridge or at room temperature to use again.

-Most people use a mortal and pestle to crush mint leaves, but I don’t have one.  Instead I dropped fresh mint into a small mason jar (because I’m classy like that and don’t actually own any cocktail glasses) and crushed it with the back of a wooden spoon.  It worked just fine.

-Add ice to your glass of crushed mint.

-Add 3 ounces white rum, 1.5 ounces of the simple syrup you made, 1.5 ounces fresh lime juice, and a splash of club soda.  Stir.

-Enjoy!

I look forward to trying variations with this drink.  Up next: the coconut mojito!

In the meantime…

I’m learning how to create a proper bun since this little cutie has her first ballet recital this weekend where she’ll play a baby mermaid.  I got to see a preview tonight during her ballet class and I died from cuteness.

Seriously, dead from cuteness.

And today I had the joy of using the first fresh herbs from the season.  I picked them right out of the garden, chopped them up, and added them into a veggie scramble I served for dinner.

My graduation ceremony is next week and I still haven’t decided what to wear.  My mother arrives in a week for a visit and we’ll spend our first mother’s day together since I moved to Georgia in 1999.  The dog needs to be groomed and my son is desperate for a hair cut.  I have a weird rash on my neck and I just ate 4 spoonfuls of Nutella out of the jar.

Perhaps breathing time should be scheduled before June…

Or I just need to buy more Nutella.

The children slept until 7:00 which was a pleasant treat.  I at least had time to sip my coffee before cuddling them on the couch and serving them fruit loops.  I had big plans to spend the day doing a deep cleaning of the house and gave them the option to help.  They chose to play together instead and ended up building an amusement park out of tinker-toys and frolicking outside where they tried to chase a helpless frog.  He managed to evade capture which, knowing my kids, was probably best.

While they behaved as kids I turned up the 80′s music and participated in some major cleaning therapy – washing and ironing curtains, throwing out bags of trash, organizing my nightstand, spot cleaning carpets, etc.  It felt wonderful – cathartic even.  I miss the satisfaction that comes from a freshly cleaned room that smells of lemon and Murphy’s Oil Soap. I even managed to clean off the high counter in the kitchen – it’s my pet peeve to have this counter messy.  Today, for a short while, it was perfect.  No clutter, no mess, just clean…

I even managed to reorganize a couple of cupboards so that I could have room for the wonderful bounty my in-laws brought me from a semi-local granary.  They have some of the most delicious mixes for pancakes, porridge, and hot cereal.  Plus, the bags they come in are stinking adorable.  They make me feel old-fashioned and domestic.  The dogs even got a bag of treats from a Mennonite Bakery.  Food totally works to bribe my dogs.

After I finished cleaning we ran to the store to buy a supply of popsicles for the hot afternoon and fresh flowers for the upcoming teacher appreciation week.  I decided to indulge and bought myself some white lilies – the only thing worth putting on my newly cleaned kitchen counter.  Pretty, huh?!  They make me happy.

We ate ham bean soup for dinner, took baths to prep for school tomorrow, watched Thriller on YouTube, and watered our newly planted vegetable garden. These tasks – the monotony of a typical day – man, did I miss it.

I missed it so much.

And I will sleep tonight knowing that for the first time in longer than I can remember I had a really, really good day.  And when my husband arrives home tomorrow night from his business trip I’ll hug him and kiss him and remind him how much of a blessing our simple lives really are.

Happy Sunday to you!

I read a magazine the other day.  It was quite a few months old, but I relaxed on couch while Charlotte napped and indulged in mindless articles of home organization, new recipes, and fashion no-no’s.  It was glorious.

I finished an entire book in one afternoon.  I read in carpool, at karate, and in the bed later in the evening.  I devoured the book cover to cover and loved every minute of the experience.

I danced in the car this morning to my daughter’s new CD.  We laughed and giggled as she struggled not to show embarrassment of her mother.  I like to think I was rocking it old school!

I took a long bath that ended up turning into tub playtime for the dog and the 4-year-old.  Instead of getting angry at interrupted hygiene I appreciated the moment of watching them play and splash.  I didn’t even mind the multiple puddles left as evidence of their water frolics.

This is what I’ve been waiting for – time to embrace the little aspects of my day that have passed so quickly over the last three years.  I didn’t even realize how much I missed them, but I’m thankful I am finding the time to honor them now.

I’ve mentioned a few times that when school is done and Summer arrives I want to simplify our lives.  My life.  The kids’ lives.  We are a family stretched thin – too busy, too pulled, too everywhere.  It’s getting to be too much.  Actually, it got to be too much a while ago, but I kept pushing through because that’s what mothers do.  Right?!

But, I can’t anymore.  I can’t keep running on fumes – it isn’t good for any of us.

So I thought I’d share with you what a typical schedule looks like for a week of our lives.  This is our actual schedule for this week.  Looking at it makes me exhausted.  I start dreading the weeks before they even get here because, as you’ll see, there is no downtime.

Monday: Coffee date with friend (AM), Preschool conference (11 AM), Karate (5-7:15),

Tuesday:  Orthodontist (3:40), Piano (6:00)

Wednesday: Preschool, Ballet (6:30)

Thursday: Husband Traveling, Dentist appointment for all 3 kids (8:00 AM), Boy Scout Pack Meeting (6:30), Karate (4:30-7:15)

Friday: Husband Traveling, Preschool, Karate (4-5:45), Girl Scout meeting (6:30), Father-in-law’s Birthday, Department End of the Year Party (6:00 and an hour away).

Saturday: Husband Traveling, Girl Scout Field Trip (2-4)

Sunday: Husband Traveling, Church, grocery shopping

In the midst of all this chaos I have to turn in my final dissertation to the university, peer review an article for a journal, clean the house, run errands, finish the laundry, purchase and plant my vegetable garden, make a vet appointment for the cats, and find time to squeeze in dinner that isn’t fast food!  I’m trying to be too many places at once.  My whole day before 3:00 is spent trying to get as much done as possible because everything after 3:00 is spent running from activity to activity.

We already decided that the kids are going to cut out a few activities this Summer.  Most of the activities (with the exception of karate) stop in the summer so it is a good time to transition.  I keep telling myself it is only another month of chaos.  One more month…

I certainly hope so because something has gotta give…

Last year taught us that three kids, one feisty puppy, and one digging wiener dog do not make for the best vegetable bounty.  We knew that we had to fix the problem this year.

We started by moving the raised vegetable beds to a higher point in the yard that gets a few hours more sun than our previous spot did.  Next, my wonderful husband build me a great little fence to surround the beds.

No dogs shall enter!

The beds are ready to be planted – that is next weekend’s project.  But, the soil is beautiful and lovely.  All the grass inside the fence will eventually be killed and we will create little walking paths with gravel.  Plus, there is room for a small potting station off to the side!

I decided to plant my herbs in containers this year in order to free up space for more vegetables.  I only planted parsley, basil, and mint (hello, summer mojitos!).  They are mounted on top of the fence and have wonderful drainage in the bottom.  My plan is to keep adding container gardens across the top of the fence so that I have more room in the beds for whatever the kids decided they want to plant.

And, the watermelons I planted a couple of weeks ago are starting to root and grow!  I can’t wait to watch them vine down the sides of the barrel.

The best part of this whole setup?  The kids like to pretend the inside of the new fence is a jail.  Sadly (not!) they can’t reach the latch from the outside.  So once they go in they can’t come out.  Hehe…

To me, though, you’re still that sweet young baby I held so long ago – the dreamer, the artist, the believer of all great things.

You ache so much to be an adult and in some ways I’ve been forced to let you go since the day you were born.  I wish so much that you would stop and savor the joys of being young, being silly, being you.  I was a lot like that when I was little – in a hurry to grow up – so I understand.  But as your mama I want you to savor this time as much as I savor your sheer existence.

I love you, sweet girl.  Every moment of every day I breathe you in and offer thanks for my time with you.

Happy Birthday, child.  May this be the year you pause to taste the strawberries…