• Biblical Counseling vs. Secular Psychology: Explaining different frameworks
• The NAR Mental Health Fallout: Why doctrines like "Heaven on Earth" and "Modern Apostles" often result in hopelessness.
• The Rise of "Christian" Mysticism: The subjective mystical practices, like "grave soaking" and "trips to heaven" (via guided visualizations), that are infiltrating the church
• Reclaiming a Sound Mind: The vital connection between self-discipline and mental clarity (2 Timothy 1:7).
• The "Crack" in the System: How catching one lie or false prophecy can be the first step toward spiritual freedom.

About The Ministry

These were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so. -Acts 17:11

Biblical Discernment: Accurately distinguishing between truth and error, biblical from unbiblical, and truth-based love from counterfeit love.

Top 5 Traits Of [Strong] Biblical Discernment

(Dan 11:32; Jn 5:38-40; 15:1ff; Eph 4:11-17; Heb 11:6; cp. Gal 1:6-9)

(1 Tim 6:20-21; 2 Tim 2:15; cp. Matt 4:1-10)

(Ps 1:1-3; 18:30; 19:7-11; 56:10; 138:2; Acts 17:11; Rom 15:4; cp. 1 Kgs 18:17-18; Jer 18:18; Jn 15:18-19)

Objective: not dependent on the mind for existence; external to the mind; not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or opinions in considering and representing facts.

(Acts 17:11; Lev 19:15; Prov 18:17; Is 8:19-20; Jas 3:17; cp. 2 Tim 3:16-4:5)

(Prov 24:11-12; Eph 5:11; 2 Tim 4:1-5)

(Matt 7:15ff; Jer 23:21-23; cp. 2 Cor 11:3-4)

(Phil 1:9-11; 1 Jn 3:18; cp. Is 5:20)

(1 Kgs 3:9; Jas 5:19-20; Eph 5:6-11; Jude 1:21-23)

(Is 8:19-20; Acts 17:11; 1 Thess 5:21-22; 2 Tim 2:15; Heb 5:14; 1 Pet 3:15; 1 Jn 4:1-6)

Practical Application

• With that in mind, how would you objectively assess yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 (10 being best) in each of the five areas above?
• Which areas do want to grow in the most, and why?
• If everyone somehow perfectly discerned truth from error—and, as a result, avoided error and fully believed and lived in the truth—what would happen to our superlative problems of evil, division, hate, deception, and the deadly consequences of sin?
• What does that tell us about the supreme value of discernment?

More On Discernment

Final Thoughts

But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. -Hebrews 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. -Hebrews 5:14, NIV

Equipping Resources

About The Ministry

MEDITATION: A SOURCE OF TRUE BLESSING OR GREAT HARM?

A recent study revealed that in just four short years there was a 2,900% increase in the number of people who meditate. There are now thousands of meditation apps—and even more articles and videos on the subject. Which brings up a pivotal question: hundreds of millions of people are meditating, but is that a good thing?

Equipping Resources

For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, And hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water. - Jeremiah 2:13

Fallacy: a false belief; an idea that a lot of people think is true, but is in fact false

Faulty Foundation

Everything hinges on a love tank that exists inside of us—and, more specifically, on how well people fill our tank. In other words, the quality of our life, and our relationships, is largely determined by the level in this tank—and this level is determined by how well others perform in meeting our “deepest needs.” What is more, God is rarely mentioned, or needed.

Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exists an invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank? If we could find a way to fill it, could the marriage be reborn? Could that tank be the key that makes marriage work? - Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages (emphasis added)

He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, Both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord. - Proverbs 17:15

For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man. - Mark 7:21-23

The other problem with the modern use of need is that, endlessly engineered and marketed, an obsession with need results in consumer indifference to specific, genuine, real needs. People skilled in learning to need the needs that the professional elites identify become deaf to their own true needs—their needs as God, not the world, defines them. - Os Guinness, Dining with the Devil (emphasis in the original)

It is fashionable to follow the view of some psychologists that the self is a bundle of needs and that personal growth is the business of progressively meeting these needs. Many Christians go along with such beliefs. But is this just tagging along with the spirit of the age? - Tony Walter, Need: The New Religion (emphasis added)

- We know this popular teaching is very appealing, but what, exactly, does it appeal to: the flesh or the spirit?

- Is it, as advertised by many, the answer to life’s problems and to the issues in marriages? If so, how? Or why not?

- How, specifically, does this teaching fit into or go against God’s design?

- What is the source of this ideology: the world or the Word?

- What Scriptures can we use to fully support this teaching, or to refute it?

- What should we do when there is a teaching inside the Church that comes from or is entwined with “the spirit of the age”?

- How can we reconcile the sufficiency of God with this hyper emphasis on getting fallible humans to meet our superlative “needs”?

- What are some of the likely harmful outcomes of teaching people to depend more and more on the performance of other people?

But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. - Hebrews 5:14 [NIV] And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ… - Philippians 1:9-10 Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. - 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 Discretion will preserve you; Understanding will keep you, To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things, From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; - Proverbs 2:11-13

Top 15 Problems With The Love Tank Fallacy

Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. - Colossians 2:8

For even more on this, see our Book Review Of Love And Respect

1 | Destructive False Needs

The LTF distorts and inflates normal desires into life-determining needs, which, in reality, are not needs at all. To be clear, there are many things in life and relationships which have great value—and are very important and provide many blessings—but they are not “needs,” at least in the way that these LTF books describe them.

For example, L&R takes valid and important desires and inflates them into literal absolute needs—particularly when the author compares them to our life-or-death absolute need for “air” (L&R, p. 37-38). In other words, our life depends on meeting this need, and we will die without it. What is more, the thesis statement of L&R (on the back cover) is that the “one driving need” of wives and husbands is to feel love or feel respect from their spouse. Worse, what is the grand goal of meeting this supposed superlative need? It is to make them “happy” (i.e., a good but fleeting feeling, which is dependent upon our circumstances and the performance of others). In contrast, God’s goals are obviously so much higher.

So, given the overall perverted premise of the LTF, people who buy into this fallacy naturally become increasingly desperate to meet this supposed “one driving need,” as well as other absolute needs. Yet they are not actual needs. Therefore, when it comes to marriages and the LTF, many individuals understandably become fixated on the performance and failures of the only person who can supposedly meet their life-determining needs: their spouse. As a result, much of their marriage, life, and well-being goes up and down—but mostly down—all based on this highly unreliable performance (cp. Jer 17:5-6).

2 | Destructive Dependency

The LTF redirects our dependency away from the actual life-giving, life-determining sources—which are God and His grace, love, power, and Word of life. The LTF makes this even worse as it increases our dependency on the performance of fallible humans—those who are prone to sin, fail, and hurt others. That, of course, is the exact opposite of God’s design.

The reality is, we are all hurt, offended, and let down by others, including our spouse. And it is in these moments we need to respond well, particularly by going to and depending on God for help. However, while we are in the midst of this pain and need for the Comforter and our Wonderful Counselor, the LTF directs us away from the God of life and toward a nonexistent tank, and toward the performance of those who failed to fill it. Therefore, the more we live by this destructive dependency, the more we will experience confusion, deception, sin, instability, and harm (Jer 2:13; 17:5-9; Ps 118:8-9; 146:2; Rom 1:25; Col 2:8).

3 | Deadly Despair

The LTF produces escalating hopelessness. Why? One reason is because these utmost and “deepest” needs described in these books can never, ever be satisfied (Jer 2:13; 5:7; Hos 13:6)—at least no human can truly satisfy them. Yet, according to the LTF, so much of our life is determined by this one thing: how well these supremely urgent needs are met by our spouse (or other humans). The author of L&R admits that these needs are “insatiable.”

This brings up the obvious question which further exposes the extreme error of the LTF: When it comes to those who are in bad marriages, are unmarried, or have a self-centered spouse—which makes up the vast majority of the world’s population—what happens to them regarding these utmost, life-determining needs (e.g., “one driving need”)? What hope do they have here? Absolutely none, if we believe the LTF. In fact, according to the LTF, not only are they absolutely hopeless, they should be dead! Why? Because their absolute needs (e.g., “air”) clearly are not being met. So, overall, to the degree we put our hope in that which does not and cannot give us true hope—which is the functional idea of the LTF—we will become more and more hopeless (e.g., depressed).

For more on the solutions here, see our book Re-Minded: How To Renew Your Mind, Quiet Your Soul, and Transform Your Life

4 | Destructive Relationship Dynamics

The LTF warps God’s beautiful and brilliant design for a covenant-based, grace-based, truth-based, and love-based relationship—which also seeks to primarily live for God, love God, and fully depend on God—into a performance-based, legalistic, and transactional relationship. More specifically, the LTF’s relationship dynamic is fixated on perpetually meeting (supposed) life-determining needs, yet these can only be satisfied by the performance of a person other than God. Even more alarming, in reality these superlative needs can never be truly satisfied.

To put this another way, everyone under the LTF is beholden to a non-existent love tank, and, therefore, to the performance of highly fallible humans, whom they desperately need to continuously fill that tank. Not only that, they live according to this lie rather than according to God’s design, which is: knowing and depending on God and His love, so that we can then freely, securely, and cheerfully give and receive love—and to gladly give love even when this is not reciprocated. Notice how the LTF perfectly fulfills the double folly and sin of Jeremiah 2:13 and 17:5-9, as well as other biblical principles (e.g., Matt 5:44-47; Acts 20:35).

5 | Thwarted Hope and Blessings

The LTF consistently robs us of much needed hope, and many other blessings as well. How so? It does this in several ways, primarily by grossly distorting our personal responsibility. First, the LTF makes us largely responsible for the happiness, peace, and security of others, usually our spouse. That is a lethal lie. Secondly, the LTF perverts the responsibility for our wrongdoing, which is another deadly deceit.

More specifically, this fallacy blames an “empty love tank” and, even worse, our spouse is blamed. How so? Because he/she is seen as the only one who can fill our tank, yet failed to do so, and, as a result, they are the one to blame for our sin and failure. Worse, they are also frequently blamed for any lack of happiness, joy, and peace in our lives. Why? Because they failed to meet our “deepest needs.”

Notice, again, that God is nowhere to be found in this humanistic construct. Therefore, the LTF takes away the essential hope and blessings that come from owning and confessing our sin and failures—along with learning from them, and then realizing much needed growth in life, love, and relationships (Prov 28:13; Matt 3:6; Heb 4:16; 1 Jn 1:5-10; Jas 5:16; cp. Ps 32).

6 | Thwarted Reconciliation

The LTF—due to perverting and inverting personal responsibility—not only blocks us from meeting several of our actual life-giving and life-determining needs—such as confessing, repenting, forgiving others, and being forgiven—it also prevents us from satisfying other superlative needs, which are: being truly reconciled with God, and with others, particularly our spouse.

As horrendous as that is, it gets far worse. How so? Instead of true reconciliation, the LTF’s approach produces a deceptive and dysfunctional pseudo-reconciliation—one in which we think we have reconciled, but—because we have not appropriately dealt with the actual sin, error, and problems—we have not, in fact, truly reconciled. Therefore, we are deluded and setting ourselves up for even more hurt, disappointment, deception, and damaged trust (Matt 5:23-24; Acts 2:38; Rom 10:9-10; 2 Cor 5:18-21; 7:10-11; Eph 4:31-32; Col 3:12-14). [We have much more on reconciliation elsewhere, including faulty forms of reconciliation.]

7 | Ongoing Failure and Hurt

The LTF sets up each person to consistently fail—and for the marriage to ultimately fail in one or more significant ways. Why? Because it is impossible for anyone to actually succeed within this fallacy. Even worse, and as we have seen, it prevents people from actually reconciling with truth and grace, while steering them into error and pseudo-reconciliation. At the very least, while there might be some improvement in behavior, these relationships tend have ongoing disappointment, hurt, insecurities, fighting, resentment, and misery—while also lacking true, biblical reconciliation, and rebuilt trust.

8 | Stress-Filled Relationships

The LTF—because it is heavily based on performance, which then results in ongoing failure, harm, and guilt—produces strained and pressure-filled relationships. Not only that, they also lack lasting peace, joy, security, and contentment. Why? How so? Subtly or overtly, the LTF teaches people that: “You are the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s one driving need, and and his/her deepest needs.” Talk about overwhelming pressure! But it gets worse: “When you fail to satisfy these insatiable-yet-absolute needs, then you are to blame for his/her misbehavior, harsh words, and other sin—and for how he/she harms you and others.”

As if this could not get any worse, even more stress is added in the other direction: “Your spouse is also the one person who is responsible for meeting your utmost needs. Therefore, focus on how well he/she is satisfying your all-consuming needs. Why? Because so much of your marriage, personal happiness, and overall well-being depend on how well your spouse performs in filling your tank!”

Note: This mindset can produce better behavior and more happiness, at least initially. Yet this fleeting fruit deceives some into believing that this lethal fallacy is a good thing. However, this performance and fruit are not sustainable (cp. Prov 14:12; 30:15; Jer 2:13).

9 | Warped Love

The LTF perverts the biblical love of giving-to-give into a manipulative giving-to-get motivation—which is a very harmful counterfeit love. We have several quotes in our L&R book review that reveal this exact giving-to-get teaching, and here are just two of them:

“This book is about how the wife can fulfill her need to be loved by giving her husband what he needs—respect.” (L&R, p. 1)

“This is the key to empowerment: You get what you want by giving him what he wants.” (L&R, p. 221; emphasis in original)

 The mindset here is something like, “Because I need my needs met, I will therefore meet your needs in the hope that you meet my needs” (cp. Acts 20:35; Matt 5:47-6:6; Col 3:23-24). [Note: That approach is fine when it comes to business-type relationships, such as at the store, or a gas station, but not in love relationships.]

While this giving-to-get does make some people happy, at least for a little while, that is not love, at all. Worse, when it comes to human-to-human relationships (e.g., family; friends; marriages), this pseudo-love is an offensive form of manipulation. Even worse, this eventually turns into, “I will meet your need with the expectation that you will meet my need.” All of this, of course, goes hand-in-hand with …

10 | Pain-Producing Expectations

The LTF not only creates unrealistic expectations, it twists normal desires into unreasonable demands. This, in turn, greatly increases the disappointment, distress, insecurity, and hurt when these expectations/false needs are inevitably not met. This, in turn, produces frequent dissatisfaction and increasing resentment toward our spouse (or others), and often despair in the marriage, in individuals, and in other relationships.

While everyone eventually learns the painful lesson of how harmful expectations are to individuals and relationships—the LTF actually encourages us to have several unreasonable and impossible expectations of others, especially our spouse. However, these pain-producing expectations are cloaked in more alluring terms, such as “needs” and an “empty love tank.”

11 | Thwarting Life-Or-Death Solutions

The LTF effectively ignores, minimizes, and grossly distorts the dire reality of our utmost problem: sin and its consequences. Infinitely worse, when it comes to what troubles and harms us the most—and to what is of utmost concern to God—the LTF does not and cannot offer God’s life-saving solutions to our superlative needs, such as: forgiveness from God; salvation; godly sorrow leading to repentance; and reconciliation with God.

Making this far worse, the LTF replaces God’s gracious solutions with nonsensical and harmful remedies (e.g., “If we could just find ways to fill our love tank …”; “Learn to meet his/her need so that he/she will then meet your life-determining one-driving need”; cp. Rom 3:23; 6:23; Jn 3:36; 2 Cor 7-8-11; Gal 6:7-8; Jas 4:1-3; Gen 3:4; Rev 20:11-15; cp. Jer 23:14, 22).

12 | Enabling Sin And Destruction

From this hopelessness of the LTF—combined with selfishness, sin, and deceit—some people naturally seek to meet their so-called “deepest needs” “outside of marriage.” This often involves things like porn, adultery, and “emotional affairs.” Even worse, these individuals justify their devastating sin on the rationalization that their spouse was depriving them—that he/she failed to meet their absolute needs. The rationale goes something like this: “My deepest, one-driving need is not being met by my spouse. And this need is just like my need for air and water. Therefore, because my wife is failing to meet my superlative need, I am more than justified in meeting this utmost need in other ways.”

I have personally talked with numerous individuals who thought along these lines, and this distorted thinking led to profound harm in their life, family, and marriage. In addition to distressing attitudes and behavior, this resulted in horrific outcomes such as adultery, divorce, estrangement, and the decimation of their family. While these problems originate in the heart, such serious sins are frequently enabled to happen by others, and by false teachings—and the LTF is a prime enabler of this sin and destruction.

13 | Victim-Blaming

The LTF not only inverts responsibility and reality, this logically results in blaming the victim. More specifically, this includes blaming the victim of adultery for the adultery. Even worse, the offender is viewed as the victim! How so? Because, according to the logic of the LTF, the wife failed to meet the husband’s utmost needs—and this naturally “pushed” him to get his needs met elsewhere (i.e., “outside of marriage”). Therefore, this not only turns the victim into the victimizer, it makes the victimizer into the victim (cp. Prov 17:15; 24:23-35; Is 5:20).

Notice how The Five Love Languages implies the innocence, if not victimhood, of those who cheat on their spouse when they commit the non-named sin of adultery: “Thousands of husbands and wives have been there—emotionally empty, wanting to do the right thing, not wanting to hurt anyone, but being pushed by their emotional needs to seek love outside of marriage” (TFLL, p. 131). So who and what is blamed here? Unmet “emotional needs” and the spouse (i.e., the victim) who apparently failed to meet these nebulous, undefined, and insatiable “needs.”

While that helps us understand why the LTF is so appealing and popular—even among Christians—this disturbing distortion is not merely foreign to Scripture, it goes directly against God and His Word. The author of Love and Respect takes this absurdity to another level as he focuses the blame mainly/solely on women, at least in this scenario: “The cold, hard truth is that men are often lured into affairs because they are sexually deprived at home” (L&R, p. 253).

These falsehoods have very painful and real life ramifications. I have counseled several victims of adultery who heard something like the following that came from a previous counselor or pastor who counseled the victim: “Now tell me, why did you fail to meet his needs which forced him to meet his needs outside of the marriage?” While that is stunningly absurd and exceptionally painful to hear, it is also the logical conclusion of the LTF and its need-centric, humanistic ideology. [Note: These pastors and counselors were all advocates of the LTF, as they read at least one or two of the LTF books.]

14 | Anti-Biblical Goals

The LTF does not show any significant concern for transforming our actual inner-being (i.e., our heart, mind, and soul). That, of course, is the polar-opposite of God’s goals for us (i.e., sanctification)—which is highly emphasized throughout His Word (1 Sam 16:7; Prov 4:23; Matt 6:19-21; Mk 1:15; Lk 3:8ff; 6:46; Acts 3:26; Rom 12:2; 2 Cor 7:10-11; Gal 4:19; Eph 4:22-24; 1 Tim 4:7-8; Jas 4:1-3; 2 Pet 1:3ff). Why does God pursue this? So that we get our love tank filled? Not at all. God desires this for many amazing reasons—so that: we are secure and sufficient in Him; we become more and more like Him; we are thoroughly strengthened, equipped, and blessed; we can freely bless God and others; and God is glorified.

In night-and-day contrast, the LTF is focused on changing five main things:

1. 1. To change the level in our nonexistent tank, which is always in need of more.
   2. To change our feelings, which are fleeting and misleading, while not seeking to change what is actually causing our unwanted feelings.
   3. To change the behavior of other people—so that they will fill our tank.
   4. To change our behavior, rather than our heart (cp. Matt 15:1-9), so that this changes the behavior of others—so that they will fill our tank.
   5. To change our dependency—it directs us to depend more and more on the performance of people, and on the harmful ideology of the world (e.g. humanistic psychology), and not on God and His Word.

So much of the fruit in our life, good and bad, is determined by who and what we set our mind and heart on, and where we place our hope (cp. Col 3:1ff; Rom 8:5). Because this is so vital for everything in life, we greatly expound on this in our book Re-Minded

15 | Feeding the Fear of Man

The LTF, once again, seeks the exact opposite of God, His Word, and of what we actually need. How so? The “fear of man” (FOM; Prov 29:25) is one of the most common yet harmful struggles in individuals and relationships. While there should be a healthy level of interdependence between individuals, in the FOM we put way too much hope in people. More specifically, we put too much hope in the performance of people, and in what they think of us, and even in what we think they think of us.

Put another way, in the FOM, we need people too much (i.e., a false need)—we desperately need their approval, and we need them to not reject us or disapprove of us. Making this worse, we lack appropriate reverence for and hope in God and His Word. God, of course, seeks to remove the fear of man and replace it with putting more and more hope in Him, and in His life, grace, power, and Word. However, the LTF does the polar opposite—as it is all about putting more and more hope in people, their performance, and what they think of us (Ps 118:8-9; 130:5-6; Jer 17:5-8).

Ideas Have Consequences

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. - Romans 5:5 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work. - 2 Corinthians 9:8 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. - 2 Peter 1:2-4

7 Additional Truths About The Love Tank Fallacy

1. The Love Tank Fallacy (LTF) cannot be found in Scripture—at all.
2. The LTF goes directly against and frequently violates God’s Word. It also repeatedly goes against God’s design for how to live, how to love, and how to function in marriage and relationships.
3. The LTF teaches that the love tank reigns supreme in our hearts and relationships, and not God, and not our relationship with Him. However, that is not surprising, given the source of this fallacy. What is more, the LTF proclaims that performing in ways that fill our love tank is “the key that makes marriage work.” Therefore, the performance of others is the ruling authority in our life and in our inner being. In contrast, God teaches us to focus on and set our heart on Him (Jer 17:7-8; Col 3:1-4), to “let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts” (Col 3:15), to “let the word of Christ dwell in us richly” (Col 3:16), and to gladly submit to God and His ways.
4. The LTF grossly perverts the reality of our hearts. More specifically, the LTF even makes us out to be basically good. This is what anti-Christian humanism believes—which, of course, is the exact opposite of what God teaches us in His Word (cp. Ecc 9:3; Mk 7:21-23; Rom 3:10-18). For a prime example of this perversion—and as we have seen—the serious sin of adultery is twisted into the adulterer “being pushed by their emotional needs to seek love outside of marriage” (TFLL). Examples of distortions in Love and Respect: “He knows he is full of goodwill” (L&R, 26). “But the main thing is to trust your wife’s heart” (L&R, p. 144; cp. Jer 17:9; Gen 6:5). “But I want to remind all husbands that their wives are basically good-willed women. They are only acting critical, contentious, and disrespectful because they are crying out for love” (L&R, p. 81). In other words, when they sin against and hurt people in this way, they are not really sinning, it’s not their fault, they are merely crying out for their husbands to fill their love tank. More importantly, and far above all of that, having the right understanding of our inner-being is absolutely essential for meeting our actual supreme needs, such as rightly grasping the gospel, for salvation— and for giving and receiving true love—and for overcoming countless problems in life.
5. The LTF comes from the world’s “wisdom.” More specifically, this needs-centric teaching comes from Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy Of Needs. That is vital to understand because Maslow is considered to be the father of humanism in America. Why is that important? Not only does God declare man’s wisdom to be “foolishness,” He warns us to have nothing to do with this harmful folly, and humanism is near the top of the list of harmful “wisdom.” In addition, God also tells us to warn others of it as well. Yet these love tank books—and the proponents of these books—are doing the exact opposite of what God clearly calls us to do. Counselors, authors, and teachers (including pastors) are only as good as the source of their teaching. Therefore, if the source is unsound, unbiblical, and erroneous, then their teaching is guaranteed to be deceitful and harmful. And that is the painful reality and fruit of LTF ideology (Ps 1:1; 1 Cor 1:18ff; 2:6ff; 3:18-20; Eph 5:6-11; Col 2:4, 8; 1 Jn 4:1-6; 2 Jn 1:7-11).
6. Humanism, from which the LTF comes, fully rejects and mocks God and His Word. Therefore, humanism is devoid of any accurate understanding of our hearts, souls, and minds. Far worse, humanism has a fully perverted belief of how God designed our actual inner being. How so? Humanism declares humans to be supreme and, as a result, God is supplanted from His rightful place. Not only that, He is removed altogether. It also teaches that humans are soulless beings—that we are just a bunch of chemicals that, by random chance, are more highly evolved than other life forms (e.g., plants; bacteria; animals). Therefore, just like all other organisms, our main function is to focus on meeting our various needs. Even worse, it teaches—mainly through Maslow—that the supreme goal of humans is the anti-biblical aim of achieving what is unachievable: self-actualization. Why is this critical for us to understand? Because anti-Christian humanism is the ultimate source of the needs-centric ideology which runs through the teaching of the LTF.
7. Far, far worse, humanism not only rejects and mocks the right understanding of God’s actual design of our inner being, it claims to be the one and only ideology which can help us understand and improve our inner being. Even worse, countless self-proclaiming Christians have bought into this deadly error—and many Christian leaders also teach this anti-Christian doctrine (cp. 1 Tim 4:1ff; Col 2:8)—and this is frequently done in the form of the Love Tank Fallacy.

But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness. For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. - 1 Timothy 4:7-8 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. - 2 Corinthians 3:5-6 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:19 For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power. - Colossians 2:9-10

Discussion Questions

1. We know this popular teaching is very appealing, but what, exactly, does it appeal to: the flesh or the spirit?
2. Is it, as advertised by many, the answer to life’s problems and to the issues in marriages? If so, how? Or why not?
3. How, specifically, does this teaching fit into or go against God’s design?
4. What is the source of this ideology: the world or the Word?
5. What Scriptures can we use to fully support this teaching, or to refute it?
6. What should we do when there is a teaching inside the Church that comes from or is entwined with “the spirit of the age”?
7. How can we reconcile the sufficiency of God with this hyper emphasis on getting fallible humans to meet our superlative “needs”?
8. What are some of the likely harmful outcomes of teaching people to depend more and more on the performance of other people?

Personal Application Questions

1. In what ways have you been impacted by the Love Tank Fallacy?
2. Which people in your life may have imposed the LTF on you (i.e., they focused on you and pressured you to meet their insatiable needs)? If so, what was the fruit and ultimate outcome of that relationship?
3. In what ways have you imposed this fallacy on to others (i.e., you focused on them and pressured them to meet your supreme needs)?
4. If so, what was the fruit and ultimate outcome of that relationship?
5. What do you need to do now regarding these people and relationships?
6. Who do you need to warn about these deadly errors?
7. If the LTF is so far from the truth—and harms so many individuals and relationships—why do you think it is so popular?
8. Why do you think this deadly fallacy is so popular inside the Church?
9. The more popular an idea or teaching is, the less likely it will be true or biblical. Do you agree or disagree, why or why not? (see Matt 7:13-14)

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them. - Matthew 7:13-20

For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God. Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears. So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. - Acts 20:27-32

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. - 2 Timothy 2:15

21 More Traits Of A Good Church, Ministry, Or Christian Leader

1. TRUSTWORTHINESS

(e.g., Ex 18:21; Prov 8:13; 27:6; Zech 8:16-18; Matt 25:14-27; 1 Cor 4:1-2; 1 Tim 3:2; 4:12-16; 6:20-21; 2 Tim 2:15; Ti 1:6-9; 1 Pet 5:2-3; 1 Jn 3:18; 3 Jn 1:4)

*For more, see: Trustworthy People: How To Spot One + How To Be One

2. PRAYER

(Rom 12:12; Phil 4:6-7; Col 4:2; 1 Thess 5:17)

3. MYSTICISM

• We have an entire chapter on this in Re-Minded: How To Renew Your Mind, Quiet Your Soul, and Transform Your Life
• Another very thorough book on this subject is A Time Of Departing by Ray Yungen

4. SUBJECTIVITY

(cp. Is 8:19-20; Jer 2:13; Acts 17:11)

5. OBJECTIVITY

(Rom 15:4; Acts 17:11; Is 8:20)

6. ENCOURAGING OTHERS IN THE WORD

(Deut 11:18-21; 32:47; Josh 1:8-9; Ps 1:1-3; 19:7-11; 119:2, 18; 130:5-6; Lk 8:15, 21; 11:28; Rom 15:4; Col 3:16; 1 Thess 2:13; 1 Tim 4:12-16; 2 Tim 3:15-4:5; 2 Pet 1:3-4)

7. THE SPIRIT OF THE AGE

(Prov 24:11-12; 1 Cor 2:6-15; 2 Cor 2:11; 11:3-4; Eph 4:14; 5:6-11; 1 Tim 6:20-21; 2 Tim 3:1-7; 4:1-4; Jas 5:19-20; 1 Jn 4:1-6)

• 7 Deadly Errors Destroying and Refining the Church
• Making Sense Of The Madness
• The War From Hell: Leftism’s Diabolical War Against God, Truth, and All Of Humanity
• A Tale Of Two Churches: Understanding The Division & Opposition In Today’s Church

8. JUSTICE

• Jesus Was A Socialist? The Life Or Death Truth Everyone Needs To Know About Jesus & Socialism
• True Justice: Who Should NOT Judge
• True Justice: Who SHOULD Judge?

9. FALSE GOSPELS

(Gal 1:6-9; Eph 5:11; 2 Cor 11:3-4; Ti 1:9-14; Jude 1:4)

• 7 Deadly Errors Destroying and Refining the Church

10. FALSE CHRISTS

(Matt 7:13ff; 24:4-5, 23-25; 2 Cor 11:3-4; Eph 5:6-11; Ti 1:9-14)

• Jesus Was A Socialist?
• Our Greatest Danger

11. FALSE TEACHERS

(Ezek 33:5-7; Mk 12:24; Acts 17:11; 20:28-31; Eph 5:6-11; Ti 1:9-14; 2 Pet 2:1ff; Jude 1:3ff)

12. STANDING AGAINST THE WORLD

(Rom 12:2; 1 Cor 2:6-15; Jas 4:4-5; 1 Jn 4:5-6)

13. COMPROMISING WITH THE WORLD

(Jn 15:18-21; Jas 1:27; 4:4-5; 1 Jn 2:15-17; 4:5-; 5:19)

• 7 Deadly Errors Destroying and Refining the Church
• A Tale Of Two Churches: Understanding The Division & Opposition In Today’s Church
• The War From Hell: Leftism’s Diabolical War Against God, Truth, and All Of Humanity

14. COVERT COMPROMISE

(cp. Neh 13:4-9; Gal 1:6-9; Gal 5:1-10; 2 Cor 11:3-4)

15. PERSONAL SIN

(Gal 6:1-2; Prov 28:13; 2 Cor 7:10-11; cp. Prov 24:24-25)

• Failure To Protect: Why Sin & Abuse Is Not Handled Well In The Church
• How Do Wolves Become Overseers Of The Sheep?
• Enablers: Enabling Dysfunction Or Enabling Reconciliation

16. BIBLICAL RECONCILIATION

• being objective in conflict
• speaking the truth in love
• receiving the truth in love
• godly sorrow
• full and specific confession
• not settling for evasive and insincere confession or repentance
• full forgiveness
• a contrite heart
• true repentance
• rebuilding trust, particularly through actual repentance
• knowing the difference between forgiveness and trust
• not enabling, particularly by minimizing, excusing, or accepting sin

(Prov 28:13; Ps 51:17; Matt 5:23-24; Mk 1:15; 11:25; Lk 3:8ff; Acts 3:26; 26:18-20; 2 Cor 5:18-21; 7:10-11; 1 Jn 1:5-2:2)

• Hope For Life Resources

17. THE WORLD'S WISDOM

(1 Cor 1:18ff; 2:6-15; 3:18-20; Eph 4:14; Col 2:8)

• 7 Deadly Errors Destroying and Refining the Church
• Love and Respect: Biblical or Deceptive? (Book Review)

18. PROPHECY

19. CORRECTABLE

20. SALT + LIGHT

• the freedom to live out and share one's faith
• exposing and fighting against tyranny
• exposing and fighting against government overreach
• exposing and fighting against oppressive, harmful, and anti-life policies and laws
• exposing and fighting against anti-Christian, anti-gospel policies and regulations

(Prov 24:11-12; Matt 5:13-16; 16:18; Mk 12:30-31; Jas 5:19-20)

• A Tale Of Two Churches: Understanding The Division & Opposition In Today’s Church
• The War From Hell: Leftism’s Diabolical War Against God, Truth, and All Of Humanity

21. HUMILITY

(Phil 2:3-4; Jas 3:15-17; 4:6, 10; 1 Pet 5:1-6)

We have much more on all these topics at: Hope For Life Resources

Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. - 1 Peter 5:2-3

Questions To Think About

• When assessed with the traits listed above, how well did your church do (or potential church)?
• When it comes to any pastors or Christian leaders who come to mind, how do they rate?
• How do you rate personally?
• Which areas do you most desire to grow in? Why those areas?

When Good Goes Bad

You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? This persuasion does not come from Him who calls you. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. - Galatians 5:7-9

1. They give lip-service to the need for discernment, yet they dismiss those who actually discern and warn of problems and errors. And, despite what they might say, they do not, in actuality, develop their biblical discernment (cp. Heb 5:14; 1 Thess 5:21-22; Acts 17:11)
2. They talk about not conforming to the world, while also increasingly appearing like and living like much of the world. And they rarely, if ever, hold the line against embracing the world's ways (cp. Rom 12:2; Jas 4:4; 1 Jn 4:5-6)
3. They are concerned about error, yet they embrace mysticism in one or more ways—and they read or approve of books that promote mysticism and outcomes of mysticism (e.g., Practicing The Way; Jesus Calling; The Purpose Driven Life; The Enneagram)
4. They have some level of love for truth, God, and God’s Word, however, this is increasingly replaced by goals that might seem good, but are deceptive and destructive. For example: church growth (e.g., “big numbers = success”); pragmatism (seeking whatever “works” over seeking what is right and biblical); using unbiblical ideas as “helpful tools;” seeking unity for unity’s sake; embracing man-made mystical techniques to get closer to God, to have a direct experience with God, and to hear directly from God
5. They care a lot, but they do not overtly expose and warn of the attacks on God’s Word, His true followers, and all of humanity (e.g., woke-ism/leftism/socialism/Marxism; see our books: Making Sense Of The Madness and The War From Hell)
6. They have a desire to win the world for Jesus, but, in order to achieve this, they believe they need to gain the approval and respect of the world—therefore, they end up becoming more and more like the world, and less like the true Jesus (1 Jn 2:15-17; 4:5-6; 5:19) [See: 7 Deadly Errors Destroying and Refining the Church]
7. The may warn about sin, yet they are weak in handling of sin—and this is often due to poor theology, and from mirroring the world’s counterfeit love (Jer 23:14, 22; Jude 1:4ff)
8. They truly desire to strengthen, comfort, and help others, but they rely on man’s wisdom, particularly in counseling, while neglecting God’s Word of life (Ps 1:1-3; 1 Cor 3:18-20; Col 2:8; cp. Heb 4:12; 2 Pet 1:3-4)
9. They want to enhance the impact of their ministry, however—instead of increasingly understanding and relying on God and His sufficient Word—they embrace popular books and movements, and what popular leaders are doing (Matt 7:13-14)
10. They have a desire to protect others from harm, however, they do not ardently and biblically oppose the spirit of the age. And this often leads to compromising with and yielding to this deadly error, and, therefore, to harming others (Ps 1:1-3; 1 Cor 2:6; Eph 4:14)
11. They have compassion, but they increasingly rely on subjectivity—while also lacking objectivity, discernment, and dependence on objective sources, particularly God’s written Word (cp. Rom 10:2)
12. They desire and seek unity, but they unify with those who are in error, which undercuts God’s desired unity, which is unifying on truth, true love, and God’s Word of truth (cp. 1 Cor 6:14ff; 15:33; 2 Jn 1:7-11)
13. They have some concern for truth, but they rely on “fine-sounding arguments” (Col 2:4) and faulty rationalizations for their embrace of questionable, if not overtly erroneous, ideology (e.g., “No one’s perfect.” “All truth is God’s truth.” “Just eat the good stuff and spit out the bones.”)
14. They give lip-service to the importance of God’s Word, however, as proved by their actions and teachings, they do not truly esteem the Word. As a result, the Word is trumped by man’s wisdom and their own ideas (Matt 15:1-9)

• Which of the above have you observed in a church or Christian leader?

What Can We Do? What Should We Do?

Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so. - Acts 17:11 [NASB]

• “Yeah, it’s not fully biblical, but we can use it as a tool.”
• “All I know is that it works—and it has helped me and others.”
• “How can something so popular and so well-received be wrong?”
• “You’re just jealous.”
• “No one’s perfect.”
• “All truth is God’s truth.”
• “Don’t listen to them, they’re just heresy-hunters and modern-day Pharisees.”
• “Don’t put God in a box!”
• “You’re just a sin-sniffer.”*

*My wife recently heard this last one from a friend, who was labeled this by her pastor after she tried to warn him of huge warning signs on social media regarding another pastor.

• Openly warning others about specific error in the Church, and the specific problems in ministries and church leaders (Eph 5:6)—and doing this lovingly, accurately, and respectfully (Eph 4:15; 1 Pet 3:15) [In contrast, beware of: Destructive Discerners]
• Never joining, supporting, or compromising with Christians who compromise—while also exhorting these same individuals (Gal 2:4-5; 2 Jn 1:7-11)
• Consistently contending for the true faith—with grace, truth, and love (Jude 1:3ff)
• Examining their own beliefs—all according to God’s Word (Acts 17:11; Is 8:19-20)—and making any necessary corrections (Ps 139:23-24; Matt 7:1-5)
• Helping others come out of error and sin (Prov 24:11-12; Jas 5:19-20)
• “Voting with their feet”—which means leaving and not supporting unbiblical individuals and groups, and, instead, attending and supporting those who are truly biblical, pleasing to God, and helpful to others (e.g., 2 Tim 2:22; 3:15-4:5)

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. - Philippians 1:9-11