But other than that, every summer from the time I was five till now has been spent recovering from the school year and/or preparing for the next one. The last four summers I worked at the same daycare job. I was always at home with my parents and sisters, going to church, watching I Love Lucy reruns, and catching fireflies in the backyard.

Now the first half of this summer has been lost in a haze of nausea. That’s been tough, but there have been very good things about it too, like my husband!!! and our amazing church family. In spite of a lot of solitude and sickness, it hasn’t been a bad summer. But it’s passing without a lot of the traditional summery activities. It’s been hot here for so long that I don’t even feel the change in the weather that much. In some ways I feel like I’m in a time warp!

I’m marking time by weeks, though, more than ever before. This is 10 weeks. Our little kumquat has officially entered the fetal stage now. Yay!

That’s pretty much my update. I have to get ready for my short shift at work. I just wanted to write something, and after staring at the empty “Add New Post” screen for about 15 minutes in between reading other sites, I just decided to start typing and see what resulted.

Christy Nockels wrote a song based on this Scripture, drawing a parallel between the Old Testament servant and a servant of Christ who loves his master so much he never wants to leave Him. This song really captured my heart. You can listen to it on Christy’s MySpace.

I love my Master, I will not go free
I take Your name and live in liberty
My life is Yours forever
I’ll serve You faithfully
I love my Master, I will not go free

There’s a reason we cannot leave the faith once we have truly embraced it. God binds our hearts to Himself. To leave Him would be unthinkable. How could we throw the pearl of great price in the mud? Left to ourselves, that’s all we would do. Yet He will not let us go free – He binds our wandering hearts.

Chronic nausea, as my dad calls it, changes your whole outlook on life. Everything seems difficult or dangerous. Difficult because it’s so demanding on your body, and dangerous because the exertion might lead to you being even sicker. Last night I went to Wal-Mart with my husband, and barely made it to the checkout line. Then I had to find a bench to sit down on.

It makes you realize your weakness, that’s for sure. I have to think twice as much about what I eat and when, where I go and when, how much sleep I get, what medicine I take, and things I need to get done. Confession: I still haven’t written thank-you notes for my wedding yet. I feel awful, but I had just started working on them when I began to feel really sick. It’s been almost three months – I need to get them out!

However, yesterday was an exciting day because I had my first doctor’s appointment, and I got to see the baby moving around on the ultrasound! I didn’t know I would get to see it; I thought I would just get to hear the heartbeat, so my husband didn’t come this time. But I was sad about that because I did get to see our little baby, and it was so amazing. I understand after seeing it why abortion-minded women usually change their minds after seeing an ultrasound. It’s as close to miraculous as you can get to see this little tiny person moving around inside of you.

My official due date is February 1, and I’m 9 weeks along. 3 weeks until I’m out of the danger zone and the sick zone – the first trimester. I’m hoping my sickness lightens up then, but more than that I’ll be excited that the baby has made it safely to 12 weeks, Lord willing.

So that’s what’s been going on with me. Anyone have pregnancy sickness stories they’d like to share?

I read two posts on journaling this morning: Journaling: A Holy Experience and Journaling as a Spiritual Discipline: Many Creative Ways. Both posts reminded me of a habit I’ve somewhat neglected, and the second one especially showed me some of the many creative possibilities that come with journaling.

Only in recent months, I would say, have I allowed myself the freedom to break outside the traditional dated entry with personal thoughts written in neat paragraphs. I’m such a grammar and structure perfectionist that I thought my journal had to read like a book. But that’s not true at all, and allowing myself the freedom to change things up makes journaling a lot more creative and fun.

The main reason I’ve always written in a journal for the past several years has been to supplement my devotional reading and prayer life. While I think it is important to verbalize prayer and not just write it, writing my prayers helps me get over the hump of distracting thoughts. Writing along with reading Scripture is also so good for meditating – it allows you to really dwell on what you’re reading. Rewriting Scripture helps you memorize it, and writing down your thoughts helps you remember and apply it.

Sometimes the pace of journaling frustrates me. I’m a fast typist, so writing on a keyboard enables me to record my thoughts much more quickly. Slowly transcribing my thoughts by hand, though, forces me to be intentional about what I’m writing, and makes me focus on quality more than quantity.

Those are a few of my thoughts that were sparked by reading those entries. Do you journal? How often do you do it, and how do you do it? Please share in the comments section.

I have a picture in my head of myself as a wife and mother. It involves basic elements of housewifery which I know are my responsibility – cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, and making beds. My mental image also includes much more than the basics.

Every morning, I will rise early, get ready for the day, and have a two-hour devotional study with a lit candle and a cup of tea, steam curling gently upwards. I will bid farewell to my husband as he leaves for work, handing him his carefully-prepared lunch as he walks out the door. I will tend to my cute and content children all day as the sun shines through my spotless windows. I will bake homemade bread, add a few decorative touches to my decor, knit an afghan, write a freelance article, make a meal for another family, go shopping with my stock of coupons, and have a delicious and nutritional meal on the table by the time my husband comes home from work. And of course, I will do all of this while looking beautiful and having a kind word for everyone who comes my way.

Exaggerated or not, I think most women have a standard in their heads of themselves as Superwoman. The key trigger to discontentment in this area, I find, is comparison. I see wonderful accomplishments by other wives and mothers, so I get frustrated with myself and wonder why my home isn’t perfectly decorated, my belongings aren’t completely unpacked, and my husband makes his own dinner because I’m nauseated.

I am so blessed by the many godly examples who surround me. And I don’t want to make excuses for myself and slip into laziness and not care about my home at all just because I can’t do everything. Both extremes are a temptation. But I might as well accept right now that I’m never going to be Superwoman, because it’s not going to get any easier from here on out!

Besides, if I was Superwoman, I wouldn’t rely on Christ to be my sufficiency. I’m so slow to remind myself that He is my perfection before the Father to atone for my sins, and He is my strength every day when all I am is weak. I don’t want those truths to become platitudes in my heart! It all comes back to Jesus. He came to save me from my sins, and teach me to look away from myself and always to Him. That’s all that matters.

I have to pinch myself lately, because it’s one thing after another! A year ago I never expected that I would be married right now. And I definitely didn’t expect that I would be expecting my first baby! Yes, you read right. We are already expecting our first, due around the first week of February 2010 (I don’t have an exact date yet).

I’m eight weeks along right now, and in the throes of first-trimester nausea and general misery and yuckiness. (If you don’t want to read about pregnancy woes, you might want to skip this paragraph.) I’m not a person who throws up easily — I just stay nauseated forever, which is almost worse sometimes. This past weekend though I was throwing up so much that I had to go to the ER for an IV because I was dehydrated. I have some medicine now that’s helping, but most days it’s hard to just get the basics done.

However, all that is not to say that I’m not excited! It’s been a lot to get used to so quickly, and as much as I’ve always wanted to be a wife and mother, the suddenness of how it happened still surprises me at times. But I’m very, very excited and blessed with our marriage and with this new little life God has blessed us with. I will keep you updated along the way, Lord willing.

I’ve been longing for a writing outlet but my blog broke after I upgraded to the new WordPress version. So this morning I fixed it (it’s nice to have a non-active distraction from sickness) and changed the theme. I am somewhat annoyed because this theme doesn’t have a categories option for the sidebar (something that you will probably only understand if you have a blog or read them a lot), but my categories really needed updating anyway.

I’m sorry for so many sweet comments that I haven’t yet responded to, but I’ve read and enjoyed every single one of them! I hope to be reading and responding to your blogs a little more too.

I forget how I used to end my entries… so long, farewell… sincerely, Anna… talk to you later… all right, I’m out.

It’s been a bit of a hiatus, eh, readers? I’ve almost forgotten how to blog – and it used to be my biggest hobby. True, I had a few minor distractions, such as getting engaged, moving across country, and getting married. I hope I still have a few people who are interested in reading!

Thanks for all of your comments on our wedding video. It was a wonderful wedding gift and a good way to show a snapshot of our day. I love being married to A.J. – there is nothing like being married to the one God has given you to love. It’s not easy all the time for sure; without Christ I don’t know how anyone survives in marriage. But with Him as the foundation it’s truly a blessing.

So from your seven-week newlywed blogger, there’s a little update. Hope to see more of you soon.

Living on a sinful, fallen planet means I’m never going to have it all at once. Some element of life will always be less than desirable, no matter how joyful my general circumstances are. In gaining one thing, you lose another. That’s a recipe for discontentment in my sinful heart unless I realize the truth of what my dad says – I will never have perfect circumstances, but the only godly response is to be thankful for the blessings and be joyful in the trials of each circumstance I am in.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

“Just take it one day at a time.” -my fiance (again, this is obviously not 100% original, but he often reminds me of it)

This reminds me of Jesus’ words: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34). My Heavenly Father knows what I need, and He’s got it all figured out. He’s got the whole world in His hands – why do I think that He doesn’t see or can’t take care of my circumstances, as if they’re beneath the sovereign King of the universe?

And taking it one day at a time reminds me that the joys and cares of tomorrow don’t belong to me. I can plan and work for the future, but all I have is today. It’s restful to know that my Shepherd will guide me today, and be faithful also when tomorrow comes.

I am thankful for wise counsel that reminds me where to place my focus.

It’s completely different driving to work in the morning and being stuck there all day, then driving home to use the precious few remaining hours of day before it’s time to go to sleep and start the whole process over again. Life seems composed of fewer elements. Especially now while I am living in a new city, mostly around people I’ve only known for a couple of months, the sameness of the daily routine is wearying sometimes.

Yet I want to bring that fresh perspective to my day. I want to remember that His mercies are new every morning, and meditate on what that means. I want to be close to Him, so close, brought through the rivers of the spiritual disciplines which I neglect so easily, to the ocean of joy in Him. Then no matter what I am doing that day, it will be full of His love and delight.