“We are facing dangers in America. Enemies are being made now that are dividing this country as it has never been divided in its history. We are facing the greatest dangers we have ever faced, and the religious liberals are riding in now on the crest of a wave of what seems to be popular.”*

Sounds familiar, right? It does to me. From blog posts to Facebook statues to sermons, I feel like I’m being bombarded with this idea that we are leaving “the good old days” and about to enter something far more sinister.

Kids used to pray in public schools! Traditional family values prevailed! Men were men and women were women! Children were respectful and everyone went to church and the world was as it should be!

But then it all changed, right? Somehow we Christians didn’t SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE loudly enough and America went off the rails and this new world, this liberal world has arrived.

A few years ago, my grandmother passionately announced that she wouldn’t want to bring a child into the world the way it was. That statement has stuck with me since then, this idea that our present reality could possibly be so degraded that my generation might as well give up, not bring children into this world, because there is no hope for their future.

But then I also remember her calling my mom shortly before I went to Prom with grave concerns about my attending the event with a boy with the last name of “Dominguez.”

And that’s how I know she was wrong.

That’s how I know anybody who looks back fondly at the “good old days” of the 50s or 60s or 70s or 80s or 90s, the ones who want to “make America great again!” are misguided. Because I grew up with eight grandparents, and I assure you, I heard every one of them say something jarringly racist at one point or another. Hateful, even.

Their attitudes were a byproduct of the world in which they grew up. The “good” version of the world. The “more Christian” version of the world.

That 1950s world where women made sixty-something cents on the dollar to men for the same year-round, full time work and likely never questioned sexual harassment as a workplace norm.

That 1960s and 1970s world where people of color were dragged to their deaths and churches were burned to the ground by the KKK. Where white kids beat the hell out of black kids as school desegregation was taking place.

That 1980s world where in Stockton, California a man walked into an elementary school and murdered or injured 37 children before taking his own life.

That 1990s world where female military cadets at my own alma mater were being beaten, raped, and brutally hazed because many men didn’t want them to be allowed in “their” organization.

These were not good old days. These were more days full of scary things.

This is and always has been a world full of scary things.

And I think we can make it better. I think in many ways we have made it better.

I can’t stop wondering: why are we romanticizing a time full of as much as or more hate, racism, sexism, and depravity as we have today? And are we going and do this whole thing again in another 50 years?

Someday when people look back at 2016, I’m worried they won’t remember that there were white Christians who were refusing to even consider that simply living a life with darker skin might be more scary, more dangerous than the white one we were living. That we would rather refuse to accept that black lives do matter for fear that we risk allowing anything or anyone to matter more than ourselves.

I am worried that they won’t remember that in 2016 we could tell our daughters that they could be anything they wanted when they grew up, unless what they wanted was to be the senior pastor of most any evangelical church.

I am worried that they won’t remember that in 2016 Christians chose to fight for our own perceived “safety” in public restrooms rather than remember that loving people is supposed to be fundamentally unsafe, we are called to give up our lives for Christ, yet can’t hypothetically pee in the stall next to someone who might have views vastly different than our own.

I’m worried they won’t remember that there wasn’t one woman in 2016 who wasn’t on high-alert walking down a dark alley at night because we were victims first, and we were told that it was probably our fault for being there in the first place.

I’m worried that they won’t remember that we claim to follow a Jesus who gave up His life for us, who loved the marginalized, who trained his apostles to allow themselves to be martyred for his cause, yet we can’t even consider giving up a chicken sandwich and an indignant Facebook status in solidarity with people we may not agree with, even though doing so would be an act of love that could show them who Jesus is.

I am worried that perhaps future generations will think of this time as “the good old days.” Days we should get back to. Days when we loved less and oppressed more but dammit, we got our way.

Or maybe, what I’m really worried about is that all of this will still be a reality, and they won’t need to look back at anything to be horrified; that we’ll decide to keep these “good old days” exactly the way they are.

—

*The opening quote is from a sermon by American broadcast evangelist Bob Jones Sr. on Easter Sunday, 1960. It was an anti-desegregation sermon.

“God never meant for America to be a melting pot or rub out the line between the nations… When someone goes overthrowing His established order and goes around preaching pious sermons…and talk about rubbing out the line between the races – I say it makes me sick.”

I know this because it is the last day I get to be a younger sister.

He won’t be older than me tomorrow.

He won’t have done life first so I can watch how he does it before I have to.

And there is no way around it; that sucks.

I continue to have no interest in being an only child, and I also have no interest in being an oldest child. But somehow, I am going to be both now.

Turns out I don’t get a choice in the matter.

So I’m spending the weekend New York City, probably the place Shane hated most in the world (he maturely referred to it as “The Big Crapple.”) with my best friend. And we’re spending the long weekend eating a lot of brunch plus going to musicals plus day-drinking plus buying all the Mood fabric plus doing essentially every other stereotypically white-privileged-cliche-girl-in-NYC thing we can think of.

Because we are big fans of said garbage-city (and admittedly, as we discovered today, smells much more like garbage when it’s warm out, wow). And because I have to be the first one to turn 11,001 days old. And because I have to do life without an older brother in every sense of the word now.

I might as well start doing that with a mimosa in-hand.

When our anniversaries roll around, usually we’re out of gift ideas. Christmas just happened, then my birthday, and his is next, and so we Google the “traditional” anniversary gifts. And you know what we usually find out?

Traditional anniversary gifts suck.

Happy Saltaversary, honey.

(I read that list to Jack a while back and he said “Salt? Cheeto! I’m gonna get you French Fries!” Every girl’s dream.)

(We ended up buying patio furniture, high-fiving, and calling it good.)

I’m helping launch a site this week at work, which thusfar has been, shallwesay, a little intense, so there was little time for salt shopping anyway.

And here we are, eight years in. 13 years, really. A damn lifetime for, well, 13 year olds. And I’m trying to figure out what I’ve learned. How I’m wiser. What advice I would possibly have for the 22-year-old who is marrying that nice karate boy today.

And the truth is, the only thing in my head is, “it’s going to suck sometimes, and it’s going to be great sometimes.” It’s all I can assume about the rest of this life with or without him.

It’s going to suck sometimes, and it’s going to be great sometimes.

You won’t see each other a lot. You’ll get used to that. You’ll realize you got used to that. You’ll realize that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Getting back to not being used to that will take work.

It’s going to suck sometimes.

Your careers will be more fulfilling than you ever thought possible and you will cheer each other on in them, despite how very very different they are.

It’s going to be great sometimes.

You will stare out the window on a road trip because there’s just nothing more to say about that thing you can’t agree on. You consider the fact that there aren’t kids involved yet. Your brain decides how easy it would be to leave even though you know better, you always know better.

It’s going to suck sometimes.

He just won’t shut up even thought it’s 2am and you’re telling him you just want to go to sleep but he just wants to tell you one more thing one more thing one more thing! And you won’t be able to stop giggling which really won’t help convey just how very annoyed you are that he never ever shuts up.

It’s going to be great sometimes.

We have seen beauty. We have seen intense pain. We don’t pretend to know what we’re doing; we don’t. Our lives look different than we imagined. Worse than we imagined. Better than we imagined.

And the only thing I know about the next eight years is that it’s going to suck sometimes.

And it’s going to be great sometimes too.

Five years today we have owned this school.

This school that is most-of-the-time our second home full of family and a-teeny-bit-of-time our prison full of responsibility and limitations.

Construction. I made a video for my buddy Sara at the time with a tour of all of it.

This school that we often spend hours in after church on Sundays, exhaustedly working when we would rather be laying on the couch watching football (okay, napping for me) after a long week of actual work days.

This school that we run up and down with our little dog in when nobody else is there, laughing until our stomachs hurt.

This school that we fight in when nobody else is there, stressing until our stomachs hurt.

This school where we’ve seen kids living with Autism or other challenges thriving and where we’ve seen people come together to help others in need more times than we can count.

This school that would completely destroy us if it fell apart because our names are on the lease for years regardless of whether we’re in business.

This school where leaders are created and everyone is unquestionably accepted for who they are, not just by our staff but by the other students and parents.

Forgive me, Internet. It was 2011. I didn’t know any better.

He texted to remind me of this anniversary today, and he thanked me for my part in it. Because he’s kind and thoughtful and he recognizes that building a business together takes two buy-ins, regardless of whether it was that partner’s dream or idea.

Because quite frankly, this wasn’t my dream. It was his. It was his dream since he was 12 years old, and it was clearly not mine by the time I was 19.

Our first actual class as business owners was in a ballet studio while our permanent school was under construction

We are both comfortable with that fact; I have my passions, he has his. But it would be easier if we were a couple who ran the school together.

It would be easier for him; he’d have a full-time partner who could truly rock at helping run his business.

It would be easier for me; I could have one full-time job instead of one full-time job and two part-time ones. We’d have more home-cooked meals and a less cluttered house. We might have kids of our own running around the school by now.

It would be easier.

But it wouldn’t make me happy or fulfilled. And he would never facilitate a situation where I wasn’t. I cannot adequately express how grateful I am that he has encouraged me to do what’s right for me instead of boxing me into what is right for him.

We are not a couple who runs the school together.

But we are a couple who runs the school together.

And today he thanked me for that, for the sacrifices I have made to make this dream come true for him. Because he is kind and thoughtful. But what he doesn’t think about when he says that is all the ways his dream has helped me chase mine too.

Being a small business owner has made me more empathetic to my clients. Being a small business owner has made me understand my bosses and co-workers more. Being a small business owner has allowed me to not worry quite so much about what my own salary is when things are going well at the school.

Being a small business owner has given me the opportunity to live with someone who is truly happy to do what he does, and to fall in love with the way he uses it to change peoples’ lives.

We are the small business. It is as much of our identity as our own last name. It is interwoven into every piece of our lives and our marriage and our conversations and our responsibilities and our passions.

Five years ago today, we created a new home together. For ourselves. For his students. For their parents and for the relatives and friends who watch them achieve their goals. For this man, who has poured himself into every piece of it.

Here’s to the next five.

My workplace has this incredible tradition of honoring people on their work anniversaries. They do it slightly differently for each person, but essentially an anniversary at my job means that they’re going to buy you a nice, really personal gift, and most likely everyone will all get together in the same room and say kind things about you.

When you’re planning someone else’s anniversary, often we will ask everyone the same personalized-to-the-anniversary-ee question. “What do you like best about working with Ryan?” “What makes you think Derek may not actually be human?” “How has Russel helped you this year?” “What has Shyam taught you?”

My one-year anniversary was in November, and everyone answered a question about the nicest thing I have ever done for them. It was thoroughly overwhelming to sit in a room and listen to some of the people I most respect in the world talk about things I had completely forgotten that I had done that had evidently meant a lot to them.

(Also they gave me a kickass bluetooth speaker that I take everywhere with me because the sound quality is pristine and also it makes me feel loved every time I use it.)

Niceness is nice, and I am grateful that my colleagues associate me with that trait.

But then, there’s the other side of niceness. The side where you can get walked over by someone who will take advantage of it. The side where people don’t take you as seriously as they could. The side where you’re only doing it because you feel like you have to, or should. The side where your friend will yell “WOMAN UP!” at you semi-jokingly when you’re being insecure about making a decision because EVERYBODY NEEDS TO BE OKAY WITH IT IS EVERYBODY OKAY ARE YOU SURE THOUGH BECAUSE IT’S REALLY OKAY IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.

A friend pointed out something I had done out of niceness the other day that discredited me some. That caused me a little more work than it should have. He recommended I stop being quite so nice. He told me it gets in my way. It led us to a discussion about niceness and the need for it (or lack of need for it) in the world.

And the thing is I agree with him. “Nice” is never a thing I am trying to be, because I have spent a lot of time thinking about the very big difference between “nice” and “kind.”

A nice person will do something for you because they’re supposed to.

A kind person will do something for you because they care about you.

(Fun Fact: I thought “Care” was my word last year. Nope. Apparently it was 2 years ago. That’s how much I needed that word. It lasted two whole years.)

I texted Alece a few weeks ago about how I couldn’t get my shit together to pick a word and could it just be “wine” this year? Because I know I can rock the word “WINE.”

(She said absolutely it could. One of the many reasons I love that girl.)

So maybe my word this year is “Kindness.” A reminder that I can be kind without always being nice. A reminder of the loving God I serve and also of the ass I want to kick at my job and my life.

The world needs kindness. People need kindness. I want and need to be kind to others to show them who my version of Jesus is. My Jesus who meets people where they are, who loves and serves who is in front of Him no matter what. And that same Jesus who flips tables over in the temple and rebukes Pharisees because He was not here just to be nice, yo.

I can be kind without being nice. I can be empathetic without being weak. I can love without being less.

Maybe this year, I will figure out exactly how to do that.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Unless who you are is awkward or insecure.

Then act confident. Fake it ’till you make it!

But, authentically. Nobody likes somebody who’s inauthentic.

Be sure to stand up for yourself when you’re getting walked all over. Just don’t be bitchy about it. Working with bitchy women is the worst, amirite?

Have morals, but don’t be religious. And if you are, please keep it to yourself. Love Jesus, but stay away from people who disagree with you about Him. Keep your judgements to yourself, but make sure you have plenty of opinions about other peoples’ lifestyles.

Eat crappy food with the dudes. It makes them think you’re cool. But, you know, keep it tight.

If you lose someone you love, grieve in your own way. As long as it isn’t doesn’t take too long, and as long as it looks exactly like the way everybody else grieves. Be sure to be just vulnerable and somber enough about the whole thing without seeming depressed all the time. And for the love of God, don’t make a joke about it that will make somebody uncomfortable.

Be kind always, but only if somebody deserves it.

Have children. Children are a blessing! But be sure to time that perfectly. It’s not like a baby will improve anything about your marriage. But really, have children soon regardless of that. You’re not getting any younger, you know?

Stay late at work and kick ass. But with a really healthy work-life balance. Boundaries are important. But also promotions. But also dinner on the table when your husband gets home.

And wear makeup. But not too much makeup. Make it look natural. You don’t want people to think you’re trying too hard.

Be yourself.

Just, not too much.

 My partner and I grabbed the ice bucket and flung open the hotel room door.

I dramatically looked left and right down the hall, and he followed. I put my finger to my lips. 

“Shhhhhhh!” I whispered. “We have to be sneaky and find the missing ice machine!”

I took big, cartoon-style tiptoe steps into the hall on bare feet and he did the same.

We peeked around corners and whispered excitedly to each other.

“Where is the ice for our bucket?” he whispered.

“I don’t know but we have to be verrrrry sneaky to find it!”

And he giggled. And we whispered some more. And giggled some more.
And we went floor to floor (sneakily, of course), looking for an ice machine that evidently only lived in the lobby (making me regret the decision to enter this mission barefoot when I had co-workers and clients staying in the same hotel, but hey, sometimes being on a mission means sacrifice). 

And as he tiptoed next to me and our full ice bucket, back to our headquarters (hotel room), he looked up at me and whispered “I love you so much, Aunt Mandy,” unprompted.

And that’s what I would call a successful mission. 

When I mentioned it once, a friend of a friend replied “A tattoo is just a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.”

And the thing is, with all due respect to her, because she had good intentions, she was dead wrong.

There is nothing temporary about this feeling. There is nothing temporary about being his sister. There is nothing temporary about his being my friend. There is nothing temporary about wanting to make him proud. There is nothing temporary about his being gone. There is nothing temporary about his being a part of me.

And I went into the tattoo place on Friday, nervous but sure. I went into the tattoo place holding her handwriting. His name. A perfect combination.

He would have hated it. I know he would have. He probably would have called me a dolt.

But as much as I always wanted him to think I was cool, it’s not for him. It’s not for anybody but me.

And for me, it’s perfect.

I have this story to tell now, a story where God came through despite the cancer and the loss and the grief and the horror. I wouldn’t have had this story otherwise. I wouldn’t have known this version of God otherwise. A version who inexplicably works all things together for good. All things. For good. Inexplicably.

I wouldn’t have gotten to know this version of my God if Shane had lived. I wouldn’t have had this story to tell if Shane had lived. And it’s an extraordinary story. An extraordinary God. I believe deeper now, am more sure now. Because Shane didn’t live.

But I don’t think it was worth it.

I’m seeing life turn out differently because he’s not here. I’m seeing good things happen despite Shane being gone. Every time I realize the good things that are falling into place are as a result of my brother’s death, I reasonably have mixed feelings.

I may or may not have made the career changes I made. I’m finding a deep fulfillment in this new job that I don’t think I could have ever found in the previous one. I’m being challenged and I’m growing and I’m learning and I feel alive.

But if it’s because Shane’s dead, it wasn’t worth it.

My sister-in-law wouldn’t have met Jeremiah, who makes her laugh and introduces her to new hobbies and loves my nephew fiercely and does all those things differently than Shane would have, but he’s the kind of person you feel thankful to know.

But I don’t think it was worth it.

I wouldn’t have thought to use my photography to serve others with cancer, and I wouldn’t have met some really wonderful people as a result.

But I don’t think it was worth it.

My mom wouldn’t be so diligent about taking her Betaseron shots, since she promised him right before he died that she wouldn’t miss any more. Maybe as a result, she’ll live many more years without her MS symptoms progressing. I’m really thankful that he had that stern talk with her right before he died.

But I don’t think it was worth it.

There are more, I’m sure. Stronger faith. Deeper relationships. Better perspective. But if I could change it all right now, I would choose Shane over any good God has done with these circumstances.

That’s the truth about God working all things together for good. I don’t think He expects us to think it’s worth it. I just think He works it together for good.

And that’s going to have to be good enough for now.

—

This girl is all kinds of gorgeous. And a natural in front of the camera too.

We took Kenslie’s senior photos in downtown McKinney, and she was an awesome sport and stayed out with me after dark! And her mom and sister were even more awesome sports because they held lights for me to take some kick-butt night photos of Kenslie.

I had so much fun taking your photos, Kenslie!

—

To book me for a North Dallas (Allen, Plano, McKinney, Frisco, Murphy, Wylie, and anywhere else in DFW!) senior session, family portraits, newborn or kids’ pictures, product shots, bridal portraits, weddings and other events, “real life” session, or any other photography needs, visit me online at my Hornbuckle Creative website or email me at mandy@hornbucklecreative.com. If you haven’t already liked Hornbuckle Creative on Facebook, I hope that you do that here today!

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This little family was so very lovely.

As was the light that day. Oh my.

And this brand new baby. Oh my, the perfection. I always forget they make them that small until I steal one from the mamas.

Funny story… this field is where I re-learned to use bug spray before I lay in fields in the summer. Because chiggers. Don’t know what chiggers are? You probably don’t live in Texas. They’re AWFUL.

Unfortunately, the rest of the family learned about them that day too. Except the baby. Thank God, the baby didn’t get bit by them. I asked.

But hopefully all the bugs were worth it. They were certainly worth it to me!

It was wonderful meeting you, Campbell family!

—

To book me for a North Dallas (Allen, Plano, McKinney, Frisco, Murphy, Wylie, and anywhere else in DFW!) senior session, family portraits, newborn or kids’ pictures, product shots, bridal portraits, weddings and other events, “real life” session, or any other photography needs, visit me online at my Hornbuckle Creative website or email me at mandy@hornbucklecreative.com. If you haven’t already liked Hornbuckle Creative on Facebook, I hope that you do that here today!

The post Campbell Family – Frisco, Texas Photographer Hornbuckle Creative appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

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Ooooo baby, baby. Baby, baby.

Is that in your head now? Okay, great. Then you’re right there with me every time I edit newborn sessions.

Meet Conner Shane. I am fond of him because 1) He has my brother’s name for his middle name (okay so it’s his dad’s name too; neither here nor there), and 2) His mom is a lovely, lovely person. I got to work with her for many years and I am a fan. He’s a lucky little guy to have her in his life.

See?

He’s a few months older now, but I’m really glad I got to capture him at this tiny, tiny stage!

Welcome to the world, Conner Shane!

—

To book me for a North Dallas (Allen, Plano, McKinney, Frisco, Murphy, Wylie, and anywhere else in DFW!) senior session, family portraits, newborn or kids’ pictures, product shots, bridal portraits, weddings and other events, “real life” session, or any other photography needs, visit me online at my Hornbuckle Creative website or email me at mandy@hornbucklecreative.com. If you haven’t already liked Hornbuckle Creative on Facebook, I hope that you do that here today!

The post Conner Shane – Allen Texas Newborn Photographer appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

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This is Gracie.

Gracie graduated from Frisco High School about a year ago. I was so excited to take her senior photos. I had taken her brother’s the year before and I have shot her family in the past. They are the most wonderful people, seriously.

Gracie plays the guitar, and works with special needs kids, and is training to be a nurse in the army. Gracie is funny and kind and has the most beautiful brown eyes.

I know Gracie is going to do really wonderful things in this life. Actually, I know she already has.

To book me for a North Dallas (Allen, Plano, McKinney, Frisco, Murphy, Wylie, and anywhere else in DFW!) senior session, family portraits, newborn or kids’ pictures, product shots, bridal portraits, weddings and other events, “real life” session, or any other photography needs, visit me online at my Hornbuckle Creative website or email me at mandy@hornbucklecreative.com. If you haven’t already liked Hornbuckle Creative on Facebook, I hope that you do that here today!

The post Gracie – A Frisco, Texas Senior Photography Session appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

—

Life is precious. I learned that a little more than I wanted to a few years ago, when my brother was diagnosed with cancer. You probably know that story. If you don’t, you know one like it. Because cancer is much closer to all of us than six degrees.

My story is why I wanted to impact other peoples’ stories. I have always wanted to be a part of preserving that for people. On vacation when I see people trying to take a selfie with what little they can get of the background in view, I want to offer to take one for them (and often do… and often get odd looks back… because I am often awkward.) But I just love the idea that somebody might end up with “that photo” as a result; the one that they hang up in their home because it’s a beautiful memory.

That’s why I started this business, and the small part of this business that helps me honor my brother. The Giffin family was the first to take me up on the (very sincere) offer I make on this site, and I am so glad they did. They hold a special place in my heart for letting me capture the love they share for one another.

Carol had been doing treatments for cancer for a good long while before I met her, but she was still so full of joy and life and love – no amount of chemo could have taken that away from her.

We had a really lovely time at the Adriatica in McKinney, and even though we all ended up with chigger bites afterward (I ALWAYS forget!), it was worth it for the sweet time I got to capture.

Carol passed away just two months after these photos were taken. You can read more about this beautiful woman and her family here.

What a legacy she left.

The post Carol’s Family – McKinney Texas Family Photographer appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

Well, it’s been a year since I shot this, so it’s probably time to blog about it, right?

This is Alex. Alex graduated from Frisco High School last year. Alex is gorgeous. And adventurous. She totally climbed a tree with me.

Alex is funny. And fun. And kind and sweet and full of life. In her free time, Alex volunteers with special needs kids at church.

Did I mention Alex was fantastic? Also fantastic: DAT LIGHT. There is just something about sunset in April.

Thanks for letting me shoot your senior photos, Alex, and good luck with the END of your Freshman year at college!

The post Alex – Frisco, Texas Senior Photographer appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

One of the guys who usually helps pass the plate with Jack and two other guys at church wasn’t there on Sunday. There are four aisles. There need to be four people.

“I’ll do it,” I said casually, hoping I wouldn’t hear what I was about to from the men I was standing with, but knowing I probably would.

“Wait,” our friend said, “is that allowed?”

It’s a question I have been afraid to ask about a lot of things inside my church’s four walls. I grew up in traditional baptist churches, where men lead, men teach, men deacon, and men decide.

What am I allowed to do here?

I have been on a journey over the last few years, one that has lead me to really study the Bible and what it says about issues that bothered me. To challenge the ideas that I grew up with and always accepted as truth because I had been told how certain scripture should be interpreted.

I have been learning what it means to be an adult Christian. One who decides to love Jesus because of who He is and not because my parents told me we do.

It started when I didn’t marry Ben Sisney.

Ben was the best-friend-boy I grew up with that my parents imagined me marrying. At least, they imagined me marrying a Ben Sisney. Someone who had also spent his childhood running around in a baptist church like I did. As I became a teenager, that’s exactly what I imagined too. He would know the Bible backwards and forwards, would probably be able to quote scripture, and would be able to make intelligent, witty jokes that referenced obscure Bible stories at (alcohol-free) dinner parties.

Sorry, Mom and Dad. We’ll never have Bible-memorizing babies together.

The problem is, I didn’t fall in love with a Ben Sisney. I am confident that I was never meant to.

Instead, I fell in love with a boy who grew up in a Catholic church instead of a Baptist one. He hadn’t memorized scripture and his knowledge of basic Bible stories was fuzzy. He couldn’t open his Bible to just the right verse because they just didn’t have to do that in his church. His upbringing was different but the result was the same: he loved the same God I love.

So who cares? Well, I did at first. I spent a while trying to reconcile the fact that the person I had pictured being THE SPIRITUAL LEADER OF MY HOUSEHOLD would have to catch up to me in the “look how fast I can look up a Bible verse” department. And OMG(osh, obviously) did that mean that he couldn’t be THE SPIRITUAL LEADER OF MY HOUSEHOLD after all?

Turns out, Jack has led in a way I could have never planned or expected. He has shown me that serving and loving our God means more than being able to pray pretty or quote the entire Romans Road sequence on cue. He has shown me what kindness and humility mean. He has supported me and pushed me in ways that have grown me. And he has challenged me to lead when it time for me to lead.

If that isn’t a spiritual head of a household, I don’t know what is.

I think if I had kept my caps-lock version of that principle in my head, if I had married a Ben Sisney, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That husband might have allowed me to only follow instead of pushing me to become a leader in the right areas.*

*Dear THE Ben Sisney, I apologize for the bad rap you’re getting as my metaphorical good Christian husband. I’m confident that you’re a lovely, non-misogynistic husband to Marci.

And so, fast-forwarding through these years of becoming an adult Christian, of deciding what I would keep or reject from my accept-everything-I’m-told churchy upbringing, I have found myself in the often-confusing role of Christian feminist.

There are those reading this who will find that word dirty. I actually have a hard time stating this publicly because I am acutely aware of all the ways feminism gets misinterpreted. Also, I feel it’s more impactful to live out what you believe than to place a label on it.

I have had other Christians (men) warn me against making Christian feminists my role models, against accepting any of their ideas. I have had friends (and probably my mother) worry about my spiritual security when I mention that I’m not comfortable with ways certain scripture (especially scripture about women) has been interpreted. I have been surprised by blatant sexism in my career. I have noticed the disparity in women who lead vs. men who lead in this world.

I have been not allowed to do things in this life for the sole reason that I’m female. Things I would have been great at. And I can’t stop wondering whether my church will stop me from doing things for that reason too.

I have perpetually not fit into the typical church lady mold that seems to exist, even though some of my friends do fit into that mold and seem to be comfortable with it (and use that mold to be amazing servants of Christ).

I love the way Sarah Bessey puts it:

Women have more to offer the church than mad decorating skills or craft nights. I look around: I see women who can offer strategic leadership, wisdom, counsel, and teaching. Their whole lives are an offering, and sometimes, the best way to properly celebrate that offering is with a dozen cupcakes and a fashion show, and that’s okay, too.

Recently Jack and I have talked a lot about this. I can’t stop wondering if women aren’t leaders in our own church because it’s not allowed, or because we aren’t stepping up. Maybe the women are doing craft nights and teaching kids’ Sunday school and doing Bible studies about emotions because that’s what they want to do. But what if women are only doing craft nights and teaching kids’ Sunday school and doing Bible studies about emotions because we think we aren’t allowed to do anything else? If I’m being honest, that’s why I’m doing all of those things (except craft night because I can definitely rock a hot glue gun).

What if we are allowed to lead and just aren’t doing it?

I told him I feel like it’s important for me to be a part of changing that. To be that woman who volunteers for things that only men do when there’s a need for it. To see what they say when I do. And God bless him, he cheered me on.

(He always cheers me on.)

Honestly, I’m terrified about the follow-through here. What if I find out that this church I love, full of people I adore, this place where we finally feel at home, comes back and says I can’t, only because I’m a woman?

(This is how I know when God is telling me to do something, by the way. I never, ever want to do it.)

So I have been studying and praying about this for a while. I feel like this is both a “if anyone knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them” thing and a “make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister” thing.

I don’t want to challenge the status quo for the sake of causing trouble, but I don’t want to not challenge the status quo because it’s scary.

So I offered to pass the plate at church. And yeah, it annoyed me that it was even a debate, that anybody even questioned it. It reminded me of how far I feel the church needs to go. Because to be quite frank, unless these men are passing the offering plate with a part that God gave only men, there is no reason I or any other women can’t stand in the aisle and wait for an offering plate to get to the end of a row.

It was time to step up. It was time to know the good I ought to do and do it.

And you know what? It was allowed after all.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, JEN AND JILL!

When Jen and Jill asked me to shoot their California wedding, I immediately said “UH, YESYESYESYESYES.” Actually, first I said “Are you SURE? Me? REALLY!? Are you REALLY REALLY SURE!?” And then I said “YESYESYESYESYES.”

The week before Christmas last year, my husband, sister-in-law and I headed to the San Francisco area to meet up with Jen and Jill and 35 of their closest friends and family for one of the most perfect weekends I have ever experienced.

I made them let me take engagement pictures the day before. J&J live in Colorado, and I live in Texas, so I didn’t get a chance to get those before this weekend, but I’m so glad I made them do it.

If I’m being honest, I was really nervous about the whole thing. It was my first solo wedding. FIRST. SOLO. WEDDING. That’s a lotta pressure, you guys. Plus, it was a destination wedding. What happened if I didn’t have all the equipment I needed or I lost my camera bag on the way? Those questions kept me awake a night or two before this trip, for sure. And on top of that, I had never shot a same-sex couple before. I wanted everything to be perfect for them, and if I didn’t walk in knowing how to pose everybody, I would have felt like I was doing them a disservice.

So I researched the area and pinned poses and rented lenses and tagged along with other wedding photographers and asked a lot of questions. I planned and worried and planned some more.

And I’m glad I did; I really am. The weekend went off so beautifully, and the fact that I could be a part of it was really rewarding. But to be honest?

They made it so easy.

Jen and Jill completely spoiled me. It was the most relaxed, easy-going, love-filled wedding weekend I could have dreamed of. They got ready together, and they kind of just picked a spot to get married. They only had about 35 attendees, and everybody was free to just have FUN.

Every night (even on their wedding night!) everybody gathered in one of the hotel rooms and played cards. There was so much laughter and love around every piece of this weekend. So much family. So much right.

Can I just take a moment to tell you about these two women in between photos of their gorgeous wedding? Great, thanks. I knew you’d oblige.

My brother (Shane) met Jen when he started his new job after he and his wife (Cassandra) moved to Colorado. Immediately Shane and Jen became good friends, and we joked that she would be his new “work wife.” (And he would be hers too, I guess?)

Anyway, it was pretty early after they had moved when Jack and I visited for a weekend ski trip. We had made it back down the mountain toward Colorado Springs, our car comically full of ski equipment, the four of us (including one 7-months-pregnant Cassandra) and two giant greyhounds. We stopped for gas just a few miles outside of Colorado Springs, and when we tried to restart the car, it didn’t. Wah wahhhh.

The only people Shane and Cassandra knew to call in Colorado were Jen and Jill, their probably-too-new-to-make-drive-out-and-pick-us-up friends. But J&J didn’t hesitate for a moment. They stopped whatever they were doing and came and picked up Cassandra and the dogs so she could come back and get the rest of us and the stuff while we waited for a tow truck.

They always show up for us.

A few years later, on the day Shane was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, I loaded up the car with my brother’s 14-month-old kid and headed straight to the hospital after I got the call. When I arrived, Jill was already there in the room with Shane, laughing at his inappropriate cancer/death jokes and firing them right back at him.

Just a few weeks later, when Shane died, Jen and Jill showed up at the hospital before they even wheeled him away. Again, they laughed at our inappropriate jokes and stayed with us for hours as we got whatever paperwork taken care of. Then they took Devin home and stayed with him late into the night until we were ready to leave the hospital.

Seriously. They always show up for us.

I could tell so many more stories about these two beautiful people. And I feel so fortunate to have been a part of their weekend (because also, HOLY COW WAS IT FUN). But capturing it for them? Oh, man.

It was nice to get to show up for them for once.

The post Jen & Jill – A Bodega Bay, California Wedding appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

So, is it still a Throwback Thursday post if I just, didn’t blog most of my sessions for the last six months? I’m counting it.

I am officially catching up. I have scheduled posts and everything! Hello again, little photo blog. Hello again, little photo blog audience. I never stopped loving you.

This is Evan.

He’s graduating soon. I took his senior pictures last fall (thus the pretty fall colors) and he is such a great kid. (Old people say things like “He’s such a great kid,” you know). But, really, he is.

Evan loves fishing and looking fancy in his suit (okay, I don’t know if he loves looking fancy in his suit but look how fancy he looks in his suit!) and trash. He loooooves trash. Anything dirty or dingy or dusty!

The trash thing isn’t technically true (that I know of). I work with his mom, and sometimes he works at the office doing jobs in different departments, and one day when he was emptying the trash cans, I started to sing “I love trash” to him and he looked at me like I was the crazy one! I was horrified to learn that he didn’t actually know that reference!!

What are they teaching kids these days, anyway!? (Obviously I corrected this egregious error in parenting immediately – thanks, YouTube!)

Anyway, Congratulations on your upcoming graduation, Evan. You’re going to do great things in this world.

With or without a love of trash.

—

Have we met yet? Hi, I’m Mandy Hornbuckle! To book me for a North Dallas (Allen, Plano, McKinney, Frisco, Murphy, and anywhere else in DFW!) senior session, family portraits, newborn or kids’ pictures, product shots, bridal portraits, events, “real life” session, or any other photography needs, visit me online at my Hornbuckle Creative website or email me at mandy@hornbucklecreative.com. I also provide videography, editing, and audio design services. If you haven’t already liked Hornbuckle Creative on Facebook, I hope that you do that here today!

The post Evan – McKinney Senior Photographer Mandy Hornbuckle appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

1 lb lean ground beef
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon paprika
⅛ teaspoon cayenne pepper
¼ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

Place ground beef in medium bowl; mix in salt, paprika, cayenne pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, cumin, and Worcestershire sauce. Mix well, and form 2 patties. Grill, with grill lid closed, 5 minutes per side or until thoroughly cooked.

16oz pkg dry lentils
2 medium carrots, thinly sliced
1 bunch green onions (approximately 5), thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

Pour enough water to cover everything until it’s cooked (I usually have 1/4″ extra and just check to see if it needs more as it cooks). Note: the lentils won’t become soft if you add some of the ingredients listed below before they are done cooking

After the lentils are soft, add:

1 T ground ancho chile pepper (or chipotle chile powder)
28 oz diced tomatoes
16 oz chicken broth (1/2 a carton or 2 cups)
1 lb (cooked?) italian sausage
1 lb ham
1 T salt
1 tsp red pepper flakes

Eat with gusto if you’re Devin.

I mean, okay, it was still shooting season since the last time I blogged. I have so many great families and events to show you. But I got behind, and then I started to hyperventilate, and then I ate a bunch of Christmas food and felt better.

But, look! Betsy and Quinn!

I knew Betsy from high school, and since then she has become a serious rock-star blogger over at The Dallas Socials. For real, she’s the coolest. And not just because she did all kinds of things in dresses that I asked her to even though they were completely weird.

I know, that last shot it a little cliche, but I had never done it, and I wanted to. So they laid down on the sort-of-wet grass on the SMU campus and I got up in a tree.

Yep, a tree. And then when I was done I jumped out. And I didn’t even break a leg. I mean, that is true talent. Or LUCK because kids, you shouldn’t jump out of trees.

After the SMU portion we headed to downtown Dallas, where things got SUPER fun for me because BUILDINGS! LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! I love being an engagement photographer. I love being a photographer period.

Also, in addition to having the best hair in the whole wide world, she has the absolute BEST laugh too. It was impossible not to smile every time she laughed. And I love the way he looked at her when she was laughing. They were so sweet together.

I kept making them kiss, which probably made them feel super awkward, and then when I yelled “I want you to look like you’re about to make out!” they probably wanted to throw me off that little balcony and go hide. But then they totally rocked it. They are so DALLAS.

Thank you, Betsy and Quinn for braving the cold with me and being willing to do just about anything for the shot! You’re my absolute favorite kind of client. And another BIG thank you to my buddy Glenda who was my lovely photo assistant all day – without her I could not have gotten the night shots I did! Thank you, Glenda!!

Congratulations, Betsy and Quinn!

The post Dallas Engagement Photographer – Betsy and Quinn are getting married! appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

2 Tablespoons Butter
1 1/2 bags of mixed frozen vegetables
~2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded or cubed
1/4 cup Flour
3 cups Low-sodium Chicken Broth, Plus More If Needed
Salt And Pepper, to taste
Thyme To Taste
1/4 cup Half-and-half Or Cream
1 whole Unbaked Pie Crust
1 whole Egg
2 Tablespoons Water

Preheat the oven to 375 F.

Melt the butter in a large pot over medium-high heat, then add the veggies. Stir them around about 3 minutes.
Stir in the chicken and then sprinkle the flour over the top and stir it until it’s all combined with the chicken and vegetables. Cook for 1 minute, then pour in the chicken broth and stir it around and let it cook and thicken.

Once it starts to thicken add the salt, pepper, and thyme.

Add the half-and-half or cream, then stir the mixture and let it bubble up and thicken, about 3 minutes. If it seems overly thick, splash in a little more broth.
Turn off the heat.

Pour the filling into a 2-quart baking dish. Roll out the pie crust on a floured surface and lay it over the top of the dish. Press the dough so that the edges stick to the outside of the pan. Use a knife to cut vents in the surface of the dough.

Mix together the egg with 2 tablespoons water and brush it all over the surface of the crust. (You will have some egg wash left over.)

Place the pie on a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until the crust is deep golden brown and the filling is bubbly. To prevent the crust from getting too brown, you might want to cover it lightly with foil for the first 15 minutes of baking time.

A few weeks ago, I was driving home with my new tripod and my friend’s Canon 6D in my passenger seat (where I was lovingly stroking the 6D and whispering sweet nothings to it, probably), when I noticed that the Christmas lights at the Shoppes at Legacy were on. They really do Christmas PRETTY, let me tell you.

It seems like there is a light for every leaf on every tree. It’s my favorite. Probably not energy efficient, but look! Pretty! I just had to stop and get a few shots. That restaurant above? Jaspers? Amazing. I have dreams about their salmon.

—

Have we met yet? Hi, I’m Mandy Hornbuckle! To book me for a North Dallas (Allen, Plano, McKinney, Frisco, Murphy, and anywhere else in DFW!) senior session, family portraits, newborn or kids’ pictures, product shots, bridal portraits, events, “real life” session, or any other photography needs, visit me online at my Hornbuckle Creative website or email me at mandy@hornbucklecreative.com. I also provide videography, editing, and audio design services. If you haven’t already liked Hornbuckle Creative on Facebook, I hope that you do that here today!

The post It’s beginning to look a lot like… appeared first on Hornbuckle Creative.

So, here is a really random mostly-cell-phone-pictures post of my befores and my afters. On many of the projects, it’s WAYYYYY overdue.

This is a little plant stand my friend gave me for free. I took it apart, spray painted it grey, and tiled the top with some cool tiny tile I got from Lowes. I love this little thing. I keep all my garden stuff on it on my back patio.

Jack painted our front door and replaced the hardware on it. It makes all the difference in the world. I can’t even tell you how much prettier it is in real life. It was BAD before.

This is the landscaping in front of our house – it’s not so much “DIY” as it is “Save for a really really really long time until you can pay somebody else to DI.” We had it done last spring and I am crazy about it.

The backyard, however, is very much “DIY.” And by “Y” I mean “I DID IT ALL MYSELF.” I am very proud of it actually. Especially this:

I know I’ve written about my little vegetable garden before, but I have really really loved having it in my backyard this year. I think it may have paid for itself in basil alone. If you’re interested in gardening in a limited space, read this book, stat.

I’m also crazy about my back porch. I spend a lot of time out there now that I have redone a bunch of stuff, including:

My patio table, which my dad bought me in college, and had gotten a little rusty – this is basically just a coat or two of spray paint. Easy and looks brand new! And these outdoor pillow cases:

Which I sewed myself and they even have zippers! I fell in love with these outdoor pillows on Overstock but could not justify the $80 for them. So I found the fabric online and bought some cheap pillow forms (actually just white pillows but same thing) at Burlington Coat Factory and went for it! I have always been really intimidated by zippers but honestly they are not bad at all! I followed this tutorial to add the zipper.

I used the rest of the fabric to restore a really, really old ironing board that used to be Jack’s when he was growing up. I had been using it a lot for my sewing and it made me sad before. So I sanded, primed, and spray painted the metal, added rubber feets (you can get these at Lowes), and made a new top for it using this tutorial. I am absolutely enamored with it now.

I used the new ironing board to help me finally finish this camera strap cover for my buddy Ellyn. I had promised her one, oh, about two years ago when I made Sara’s. Oops. Great tutorial for that here.

I take absolutely zero credit for this, except that I married a man with the most talented father in the whole world. I have always wanted a built-in cabinet desk in a nook in my room, and my father-in-law built this for me from scratch, complete with a pull-out trash can, a cabinet that was made specifically to fit my printer, Sillhouette, and sewing machine, a 12×12 filing drawer (scrapbook paper size!), and all kinds of other goodness. I am CRAZY about this. All it needs now is the countertop, which he will come back and install soon. I love him .

I just finished this new old dresser this weekend, which is what reminded me that I needed to post my before and afters on the blog. My mom got this dresser for free from her friend, whose mom had passed away and it didn’t get sold in the estate sale. I saw it and had to have it, so she let me steal it from her. I have been using plastic drawers in my closet since I moved in and this is SUCH a prettier option. I’m crazy about how it turned out. It was just a sanding, priming, semi-gloss paint, and new hardware. Totally worth it.

This is a collage that I made for a side-of-a-cabinet in my kitchen. I made all the printables in Photoshop myself and really like how it turned out.

I made this one a very long time ago, and though I think it made the recipients (my brother and sister-in-law) kind of sad because I dared cut up a sports jersey, I really liked making it. I bought a cheap Elway jersey on eBay (as big as I could find), cut it into a square, put really soft fleece on the other side, and did a satin blanket bias tape around the edge. It’s pretty small to be an actual blanket, but it would be a good “lovey” for a toddler to cuddle with.

That’s all for now! I’m sure I will have more projects to post soon – I got some great little nightstands on Craigslist that I plan on redoing as well, but they haven’t told me what color they want to be yet.

15 oz can pumpkin puree (1¾ cups) (optional – strain pulp out first – I think I’ll do that next time to avoid the sawdust pulp in the bottom of the cup)
¾ to 1 cup maple syrup (Technically .8 cups)
1¾ tsp pumpkin pie spice
Just over ¼ cup vanilla (Technically .29 cups)

Mix ingredients together and pour into ice cube trays. Freeze.

For pumpkin spice coffee: Put one in the bottom of a coffee cup for 10oz Keurig brew, add half and half and stir it all up.

For pumpkin spice “latte”: Simmer with about a cup of milk until ice melts and milk is hot, then pour into mug, froth with this sucker, and add 4-6 oz strong coffee or a shot of espresso. (I use a dark roast and a 6oz Keurig brew).

1/2 onion, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 T olive oil
1lb smoked beef sausage, sliced
1 tomato, peeled, diced and crushed
1 can black beans, undrained
1 T Cajun seasoning (I use “Slap yo mama”), or to taste
Whatever a rice cookers’ worth of cooked brown rice is

Brown the garlic and onion in the oil, then add the sausage, tomato, black beans, and seasoning, and let it all simmer for about 20 minutes while the rice cooks.

Serve the jambalaya stew over the rice.

Ingredients

Cake

1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1/3 cup orange juice
1 tablespoon grated orange peel
2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups finely grated peeled carrots

Frosting:
2 8-ounce package cream cheese, room temperature
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
6 tablespoons orange juice
2 teaspoons grated orange peel
5 cups powdered sugar, sifted
preparation

For cake:
Preheat oven to 325°F. Lightly butter 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Line bottom with waxed paper; butter paper. Using electric mixer, beat oil and both sugars in large bowl until well blended. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in orange juice and peel. Sift flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and salt into large bowl; add to sugar mixture and beat to blend. Stir in carrots.

Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake until tester inserted into center of cake comes out clean, about 55 minutes. Transfer pan to rack. Cool cake 15 minutes. Turn cake out onto rack. Remove waxed paper and cool. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Wrap tightly in plastic and store at room temperature.)

For Frosting:

Using electric mixer, beat cream cheese and butter in large bowl until light. Beat in orange juice and 2 teaspoons orange peel. Add sugar; beat until smooth. Refrigerate until thick enough to spread, about 30 minutes.

Using serrated knife, cut cake horizontally into 2 equal layers. Place 1 cake layer on platter. Spread with 1 1/2 cups frosting. Top with remaining cake layer. Using icing spatula, spread remaining frosting in thick decorative swirls over top and side of cake. (Carrot cake can be prepared 2 days ahead. Cover with cake dome and refrigerate.) Serve cake cold or at room temperature.

—

High altitude adjustment cake recipe (6,000 feet):

1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 cup (packed) golden brown sugar minus 1 TBSP
1 cup sugar minus 1 TBSP
6 eggs
1/3 cup orange juice
1 tablespoon grated orange peel
2 cups all purpose flour + 2 1/2 TBSP
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups finely grated peeled carrots

Bake at 340 for 45 minutes.

1 cup warm water (110 degrees F (43 degrees C))

3 tablespoons olive oil

2 1/2 teaspoons fast-rise/bread machine active dry yeast

3 tablespoons white sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon ground thyme

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

2 teaspoons chopped up rosemary

2 1/4 cups white whole wheat flour

Combine in bread machine, 1.5 pound, whole wheat rapid setting.

– 3 large (28oz) cans of organic crushed tomato (with basil) (I use 5-6lbs fresh tomatoes, blanched and peeled, and fresh basil, finely chopped)
– 1/2 large sweet onion, finely chopped
– 3-6 garlic cloves minced (depending on preference)
– Olive oil
– Salt & pepper
– 1/2 cup red wine
– Grated Romano cheese
– Italian sausage in casings (I use both spicy and sweet together)

– 2-3 6oz. cans of tomato paste (with roasted garlic)
– A couple carrots, steamed and puréed (same amount as tomato paste)

Put everything except the tomato paste and carrots in the crock pot for 8 hours on low.

Remove Italian sausage and immersion-blender the remaining ingredients.

To thicken, mix in equal parts tomato paste and carrot purée, total amount depending on your thickness preference. (The carrots neutralize some of the acid and eliminate the need for sugar.)

“Scramble” the meat up and return it to the sauce. Freezes well.

For the dough:

In a bread machine:
1 cup very warm milk
1/2 cup melted butter
2 eggs, beaten (I would use room temp. eggs)
1/3 cup sugar (I use 1/4)
1 tsp salt
4 cups flour (I use 3 1/3 cups of white whole wheat flour)
2 1/2 tsp rapid rise yeast

Use the dough cycle. When finished, split into two balls and roll each out into a 9×13 rectangle, about 1/4″ thick (you’ll probably have dough leftover you can use to make pizza or crescent rolls or whatnot.)

Press one of the rectangles into a greased 9×13 pan and leave the other on the counter, covering both with a towel.

Let rest/rise for 1 hour.

For the filling:

3 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 egg

6 tablespoons melted butter
1/2 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Beat the cream cheese with the sugar, vanilla extract, and egg in a bowl until smooth.

Stir the remaining 1/2 cup of sugar together with the cinnamon in a small bowl. Pour a little bit of the melted butter (about 1-2 T) and cinnamon sugar onto the bottom layer of the dough already in the 9×13 dish.

Evenly spread the cream cheese mixture into the baking dish, then cover with the remaining piece of dough.

Drizzle the rest of the melted butter and then the cinnamon sugar mixture evenly over the top of the cheesecake.

Bake in the preheated oven until the crescent dough has puffed and turned golden brown, about 45 minutes. Cool completely in the pan before cutting into 12 squares.

(I think this is best served chilled, and keep in mind when cutting that it’s VERY SWEET, so you don’t need to serve a lot per plate.)

Two tbsp butter melt in pan on med/high heat. Mince garlic (as much as you want…I do 4 cloves usually but we love garlic) once that’s cooked, add a small container of whipping cream and season w salt and pepper.

Then add about 6-8 oz of shredded Parmesan, Romano, asiago, whatever cheese you want. Stir continuously or it’ll burn. I bring it just to a boil then turn the heat down and let it simmer until it reaches the thickness I want.

Then just toss with pasta. You can also add steamed veggies or chicken or whatever.

Oh yes, it’s a pinnable image. I’m a super-professional now.

I am kind of obsessed with these double-walled (BPA-free!) plastic cups with straws. You can ask Jack – every time I see one in a store I go all “I MUST HAVE IT NOW!” on him. Even though I have a bunch of them at home already. What can I say? I like to stay hydrated I guess.

So this year, I decided that I’d get those for my co-workers, personalize them with a monogram decal, and fill them with goodies. Easy!

What I used:

• I got this 12-pack of BPA-free, double-walled tumblers from Amazon. (It’s all about double-walled. Friends don’t let friends need coasters.) You can obviously order smaller quantities but you won’t get as good of a price because the shipping cost is stupid expensive on the individual ones. I have a few leftover and that’s fine by me (have I mentioned my tumbler obsession?)
• The monogram decals on the front of the cups are from here. (I got the 2.25″ cell phone sticker in “etched” color and “vine” font.) They’re super-easy to put on (took me about 5 minutes to do all of them), and they say they’re dishwasher safe. Time will tell on that one, I guess. Technically you’re supposed to hand-wash the tumblers themselves, but I’m not going to lie, that is not going to happen in my house.
• And the cookies are a modified version of this recipe (I substituted mint chocolate for half of the chocolate chips), but I assure you, mine are not as good as the original. For this purpose, you will have to make them unnaturally small – I put 16 to a sheet. It went against every one of my instincts. My buddy Candy made these for her co-workers too and filled them with homemade spiced pecans. Whatever you want to put inside them works just fine!

And that’s all it took! I ended up spending about $6 each plus whatever the cookies and ribbon and whatnot cost me (I had all of that on hand). I’m a big fan of that price.

Unrelated: I may have gone a little ribbon-crazy and also decorated the dogs.

Tis the season!

Face shadows. They’re nearly impossible to edit out, especially if most of your photos have them. I have been really trying to perfect focus and light, so this has been bothering me.

I recently watched a Lynda course about food photography because I do a lot of (non-food) product shots for work (for some insane reason they keep calling me the Official Staff Photographer – yikes), and I wanted to learn a little more about setting up these kinds of shots.

What stuck with me most was the very small amount of light he used. I work with full studio set-ups for video shoots and I prefer to be outside for photo shoots, but he took one simple light and, with a few simple pieces of white cardboard, made it look like natural lighting.

I mean, what?

So this time as I was grabbing my gear in preparation for the shoot, I decided to grab the reflector too. Ours is one of those fancy ones that folds up but a piece of white foam board would work just as well.

And then I decided to take a test picture of my friend Brenda. Indoors. With zero windows. And very little light. And not much thought about settings at all. It was basically a point and shoot in a second shot.

I mean, wow. Her skin looks smoother, there are virtually no face shadows, and she even looks slimmer in the reflector shot.

This isn’t news. It isn’t even something I hadn’t heard before, or even something I hadn’t used before. But I was in love with the results to make that side-by-side comparison and so I’m definitely in love with the results to make sure I use the reflector more often if possible.

My friend Eric asked me this question on Monday.

I didn’t quite know what to say.

I mean, obviously the first word that popped into my head was “RIVER-DANCING!” but after the river-dancing, it was a difficult question to answer.*

Because the thing is, I don’t do most things long enough to become better than anybody else at them. I go in cycles where I need to do something until I burn myself out on it (See also: couponing). I do come back to it eventually, but I haven’t quite perfected any one thing because of this, I think.

I ended up sitting there silently stumped for a few moments, and then (heaven help me) I quoted my dad to him, who always says “life is a collection of experiences.” And I have been collecting.

I’m learning to sew. I have gotten good enough to sew fancy little camera strap covers and make curtains and pillows and alter dresses and hem pants and things. Most people my age can’t do that.

I am loving learning to cook. Thank you, Pioneer Woman. And thank you, pretty kitchen that I want to be in all the time. I’ve made some dishes I can be proud of now, and I’m always getting better.

I’m getting better at photography. Partially because it’s a part of my job, but mostly because I love documenting memories. That’s the point of all of this blogging, tweeting, and scrapbooking, really. I love documenting memories.

I’m a good editor. I make things they put on the radio, so I must be good enough. I know many technical things and can talk super-nerdy about storage solutions and RSS feeds and the proper way to coil an XLR cable and which DSLRs are on the market right now and the ridiculousness of Final Cut Pro X. I’m really good at figuring out how to automate things using technology. I am willing to work hard, and I know my way around a studio just as much as the boys do. I kind of like that about myself.

I know musicals inside and out and so, so appreciate live theater. And even though I can’t sing, I can quote and reference most any Broadway Musical you throw at me. That’s probably not really all that important of a trait in the scheme of things, but it does fall under the “things Mandy is good at” category, so I’m counting it.

I feel like I finally “get” fashion. Not that I can afford the things I want, or that I’m always dressed right, but you know, I’m at the age where I at least understand what looks good and what doesn’t and I just don’t give a crap what people think about me anymore as long as I feel good in what I’m wearing. I like this age.

I’m good at managing money. I’m good at staying within budgets and saving, but I also know how to spend the money I need to to enjoy life. I think that’s important.

I can make pretty things out of not much of anything, really. I’ve always enjoyed scrapbooking, cardmaking… creating anything really. It makes me feel relaxed and loved and centered.

I don’t care what people think most of the time. I have a self-deprecating sense of humor and I think that’s probably healthy. I am a ridiculously bad dancer, but I do it anyway. I am awkward and silly and nerdy and I think that’s just fine.

In some ways, I’m a really good wife. I get excited about making dinner for my husband, and I make sure we have the things we need in the house, like batteries and light bulbs and toothpaste. I think ahead and always remember to bring his phone charger on trips when he forgets it. I make him laugh, and I try to tell him often that I’m proud of him and how much I truly adore him. Our relationship is far from perfect, but I do some things right.

I can communicate clearly through writing, which I think is an incredibly important asset to have, especially for a person of my generation. I love to tell stories in writing, and hopefully, people think I’m as funny as I think I am.

I try to make other people feel good as much as possible. I don’t hold back compliments and I hardly ever forget birthdays of friends or anniversaries of close friends’ loved ones’ deaths. I do my best to let others know they are important.

I’m good at getting things done behind the scenes for our business. I’m efficient and useful at Whatever-My-Title-Is at our karate school, and I like to think I improve it with my web design and bookkeeping and office work and marketing. Or, at least, I improve Jack’s quality of life by relieving some of the pressure for him at work (see point above about sometimes being a good wife).

I am really good at raising money for the MS Society. I lead my BikeMS team as best I can, and I am absolutely shameless when it comes to asking for money to cure my mom’s disease. (You can donate here. See? Shameless!)

I don’t know if I can answer Eric’s question, really. At least, I can’t answer the part about what I’m doing that’s better than anyone else. But I can answer the first part at least. Those are some of the things I’m good at.

And really, it was a nice question for him to ask. Because it’s probably a good exercise for everyone, especially women, to think about sometimes. We spend a lot of time thinking about what is wrong with us, and God made us into pretty fantastic people in so many different ways. It’s nice not to focus on our faults sometimes.

So, now it’s your turn.

What are you really, really good at?

—

*No, I’ve never river-danced. Let me just remind you what happened the last time I was near a river, okay? There will be no dancing in this place.

Thanks for stopping by! If on the Blog Train, you just came from Designs by Angel.

This is something I care about that benefits the National MS Society, more specifically, my BikeMS ride. 100% of the profits go to NMSS, so please check it out at MSDigikit.com!

It really is a great deal. It has SO MANY papers and elements from SO MANY designers.

Alright, I’m done with the self-promotion. On to the freebie!

Direct download link here.

Your next stop on the Blog Train is Jeanine DeOre Design Studio. If you get lost, just head back to the Blog Train Blog.

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for hopefully supporting the MS Society by checking out MSDigiKit.com!

Anyway, I did end up making some fun camera strap covers:

And I plan on making more of these for friends and a few other things for fun. Along the way, I lost my pin cushion. Quite often, actually. So when I was sewing stuff and taking pins out as I went, I found myself wishing that I had a pin cushion actually attached to the machine so I wouldn’t keep losing them.

So I put one on!

All you need for this tutorial is a tiny scrap of cute fabric, a small strip of velcro (if you want the pin cushion to be removable), and one of these cheap little wrist pin cushions:

Take the wrist thing off – mine just slipped right out the little pocket.

Wrap your cheap fabric around the little pin cushion and secure with glue (I used fabric fuse on this step, actually):

Then glue the fuzzy velcro strip to your new cute pin cushion.

Then glue the matching velcro strip to the sewing machine (I wanted mine to be on the side):

Optional step: When hot gluing the velcro on, burn the EVER-LIVING CRAP out of three fingers, leaving one with a giant blister. Scream in pain, causing your husband to jump up out of his chair yelling “WHAT’S WRONG!? WHAT’S WRONG!?” and rush you to the sink, where he will make you stick your hand under the cold water while reassuring the now-nervous always-neurotic dog that you are, in fact, okay.

Crafting is a contact sport.

And after it dries, just stick it on!

Voila! Convenient and cute too!

But tonight was this. For my friend.

A friend who I love (A LOT).

Enough to add a lens cap pocket with an “S.”

To monogram, simply cut out a shape with your die cutting machine (I used my Silhouette) or use a stencil to pencil the letter in backwards on the back, then hand stitch around the letter. Super easy.

I used my leftover fabric from the curtains I hemmed months ago for my guest room. I’m pretty excited that she’s going to have a piece of my guest room. Because if I choose anybody to get to come here to stay in my guest room? It’d be her.

Inspiration from here. Sending it here.

(I swear. Pinterest is going to flat-out kill me.)

(See also: I AM SO HAPPY.)

Made mine pretty.

Did I mention crafting is my BikeMS reward?

Just making sure.

Hopefully Jack understands that too, because he’s pretty hungry right now since I still haven’t gotten around to making dinner.

Camera: Canon Rebel T3i, which, by the way, has a kick-butt video capability with a super-cool digital zoom that doesn’t lose quality on the video setting. (Mind. Blown.)

There’s a great tutorial for a camera strap here, though hers is much better than mine. I used a padding (Insul-bright needled insulated lining, which can also be used for pot holders, by the way!) to make mine softer, but it’s came out pretty thick. I think in the future I’ll either use the padding on just the bottom side or go with straight interfacing instead.

I learned how to make the fabric flowers here. (Thank you, Pinterest!)

I’d better go make Jack’s dinner. It’s almost midnight. If I don’t cook before then, I think it’s technically breakfast.

—

Update: I made this the next night using this (awesome) tutorial:

And then Jill sent me an invite. And I checked it out. And then I LOST MY FREAKING MIND. I have spent the last two nights laying awake in bed, unable to sleep because I have been thinking about all of the home decor stuff and crafts that I’ve been pinning.

I wish I were kidding. It was so bad on Friday night that I went ahead and finally got back up at 3:30 a.m. and stained some wood. Seriously.

But if I can get my crazy brain to calm down about all of this, I think it will work to my advantage. Because I am officially inspired. And I officially have allowed myself to be, because, as I’ve mentioned before, crafting is my reward to myself for BikeMS. For at least a month.

So yesterday, I made this wall-hanging:

Total cost: $5. Oh yes.

I have been dying to make something for over our bed for a long time. It was just this boring empty space that was begging for a wall hanging. I figured I would make three canvases with a tree or something like Amanda did, but on Friday, I found this image on Pinterest:

That wall-hanging caught my eye. I loved that it was rustic-looking and made from planks put together. I didn’t love that you couldn’t really see what was written because it was black on dark brown, but the concept had me.

So I asked my parents if they had any scrap wood, and they gave me some fence pickets they had stored.

I was sneaking into our garage when Jack got home, noticed the mischevious look on my face, and looked at me, concerned.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Um, moving my car.” I replied.

“Why are you moving your car?” he followed-up.

“Um… because I want to use the table saw.”

Jack got the same look on his face that he always does when his wife is doing something crazy (which is lots of the time), and insisted the he would be cutting the wood for me, since there was a very high probability I would lose an appendage trying it.

After Jack cut the wood, I stained it (at midnight and 3:30 a.m. – see above about The Crazy), and after that was dry, I attached strips of particle board to the back with screws to attach them all together. As you see in step 3 above, I painted the side that would be facing the outside with our bedroom wall’s color just in case you would be able to see the particle board strips through the slats (I don’t think you actually can so this step may be optional).

After the wood was prepared, I started on my design. I picked a favorite quote to put on it and designed what I wanted it to look like in Photoshop. (It’s from “Rhythm of Love” by the Plain White T’s, which my brother insists is dirty when placed over a bed, but I just thought it was nice.) I used my Silhouette to cut out the letters and my ATG Gun to attach it to the wood. Originally, I had planned to seal the paper onto the wood with a clear coat on top, but after I saw how nicely they were attached and yet how easy they were to remove, I decided to leave it the way it was so that I had the option to change the quote or design later without having to make a whole new wood plank.

Optional next step: catch a snake in your bedroom immediately after hanging.

So, there you have it! My new wall hanging, for a total of $5 (that was for the wood stain). The wood may cost you a few more dollars if you don’t have scrap wood around or aren’t comfortable constantly stealing things from your parents. And of course, if you don’t have a Silhouette or digital die cut machine, you can easily paint on a design, use die cuts, or stencil something on.

Finally, something to look at over the bed! I love it!

I’ll see you around Pinterest – if you need a pretentious invite, let me know and I’ll send you one. But you’ve been fairly warned – it is crack.

And in case you’re wondering, it’s a strawberry cake with chocolate cream cheese/vanilla icing.

And they are the PRETTIEST DARN CUPCAKES I EVER DID MAKE.