Horseshoes & Hand Grenades » Shows

Episode 115 – Like Squeezin’ Sauce From A Duck

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:00:07 +0000

A gorilla walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender was amazed to hear the gorilla speak, but brought him a beer anyway. The gorilla finished the beer and handed the bartender a twenty dollar bill. The bartender just couldn’t believe that a gorilla knew anything about money, so he only gave back one [...]

Episode 114 – Sometimes I Just Want Their Balls

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:20:44 +0000

Take bloody two! Re-recording a show has never been one of my favorite things to do… but I actually think this take was better. Well, I have to go write an accounting paper (how the F#$K do you write a paper on ACCOUNTING?!… can someone please explain that to me?), and then write [...]

Episode 113 – Lovin’ Time

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 23:00:38 +0000

I can NOT think of anything clever today… directing to weird al lyrics… Elmo’s got gun, Elmo’s got a gun. Big bird’s on the run. Bernie’s dialin’ 911 {Chourus} What made Elmo snap? Was he tired of Big Bird’s Crap? They say when Elmo was arrested, they found Oscar headless in the trash. I hear that Gordon’s really runnin, Now that Elmo’s got a gun, The [...]

Episode 112 – J is for Jenitalia

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:00:59 +0000

Ok, so, I went bike riding last night to get some exercise in. I hadn’t been in ages, but it was a perfect evening to go get some ridage in. Anyway, I woke up this morning and my pelvic bones were like… bruised. I sat up and pondered wtf I had done [...]

Episode 111 – Don’t Tug On My Nuts!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:00:28 +0000

Well, Stephen and I took a week trip to the bogs of FL where we hunted the elusive 5 ft tall squirrel and dined with the 4inch martini grub of ZanZaBar. Wtf, I’m so hyper. We talked SO much this episode. I missed you guys and it felt good to share about [...]

Episode 110 – Not In My Ear!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 22 May 2009 23:00:58 +0000

Well, i just drove 5 hours from NC to WV, and I get to drive 12 from WV to FL in about a DAY. Actually, I think Stephen might drive… he will get us lost, but still Thank you SO much to everyone who turned out and called in! [...]

Episode 109 – Jingle Balls

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 15 May 2009 23:00:46 +0000

I cannot think of anything to say. At all. I don’t even recall what we talked about on the show. I know we laughed a lot and everyone in the chat was totally perverted (shocking, I know), but I can’t tell you one single story. Let me look… ahhh, ok: Snakes in [...]

Episode 108 – It Rhymes with Duck

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 09 May 2009 19:33:36 +0000

Well, we finished the show in time to make it to Star Trek last night. OMG, such a good movie! I think they did it justice, while still maintaining creative autonomy… unlike X-Men Blah. The acting was just phenomenal… also, Kirk was hot as hell HUGE special thanks [...]

After the Blast w/ Chris Moreno

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:42:12 +0000

Chris Moreno! Oh, yeah, people… Chris Moreno graced us with his presence for a second time! We talked about all his amazing upcoming projects (how does the kid have time to sleep?), his lack of twitter-worthy day-to-day activities, and how he should make me my own Batman life sized art! You see that pic [...]

Episode 107 – Your Pickle Is Still In My Fridge

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 02 May 2009 03:43:00 +0000

I made my tea too sweet, but only with Stivia so it’s ok! Northern tea isn’t sweet at all… and then you go down south and the tea is not so much tea as flavored sugar water. I also like my hot tea with milk and lemon (depending on what type), but most [...]

Episode 106 – Does That Come in Mongoose Flavor?

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:29:55 +0000

My sister is a dork. A huge dork. She is, in fact, throwing things as me as I try to write this. It is incredibly distracting. I want to shove her down some stairs… BUT I shall refrain or my cohost might be a bit pissed when I tell him that [...]

Episode 105 – My Balls Are On Fire!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:09:40 +0000

I don’t even remember what we stories we read this week! Stephen and I had so much freaking fun doing the show and were highly entertained by people in the chat (Hi, Shannon!). Thursdays are becoming the highlight of my week. I feel like I get to go spend an hour and [...]

Episode 104 – “The Academy of Fail for Whales!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 23:00:15 +0000

I just eated a cheeseburger! Twas the best cheeseburger ever! Everything is good when you are starving. This show was the episode on ZombieZ. Everyone ate everyone this week! We also welcome Xclow and Cntrlaltelite to our fanbase! We had a few technical errors (ustream SUCKED this [...]

Episode 103 – “Go Twitter Yourself”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:26:15 +0000

Because Stephen and I are now on the right side of famous… we now have sponsors. You may have heard the HoHo GPS product placement last week (Stephen and I both have one), but this week we bring you excerpts from a well known audio book “How to Be a Street Whore”. This [...]

Episode 102 – “Ouch! I Think It’s Teething!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:00:08 +0000

We are two years old, folks! Stephen and I cannot even begin to express (although we might attempt it in our own rambling way) how appreciative we are that you guys have stuck with us every week for two years. You guys are amazing and we seriously love you all. And, just [...]

Episode 101 – “Get That Out of Your Mouth!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:00:01 +0000

Ok, so again I cannot think of anything worthwhile to say. The show was fun, I couldn’t shut up, and Stephen got all the notes again. A lot of new ppl showed up again (woo woo!), and fat people too lazy to work receive tons of cash so they can keep not working, a [...]

Episode ONE HUNDRED! – “Prehensile Boobies”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 23:07:21 +0000

Ok, so, in celebration of the 100th episode Stephen, Steph and I all went out with some buddies and had dessert. My dessert consisted of a Hurricane and Stephen’s consisted of half of a Amaretto sour (I finished the majority of it because he is a pansy). I now have a killer headache, but the [...]

Episode 99 – “Put Some Butter On Those Nipples”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:00:13 +0000

I am so beyond tired… I am not sure how I stayed away to do the show this Eve! I kept randomly talking about mice with dorsal penises..in fact, I fell asleep writing this! Stephen is going to call me in a bit and ask me where the intro is Stephen got [...]

Episode 98: “It’s Like a Straight Candy Cane”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:00:16 +0000

HnH welcomes Jeebee and Bootsack to the chat! Today has been the weirdest day. I had to take the cat to the vet, i got an order from fedeX, but half of it was missing, a squirrel tried to attack me when I was driving home, and then some random person showed up in [...]

Episode 97: “I Can Poop When I Want To”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 23:00:40 +0000

I hold in my hands the coolest looking candy stick I have ever seen. It is a rainbow candy cane (well, a stick because there is no hook) and I totally didnt want to eat it because it looks so My Little Ponyish. My sister got it for me (along with hello kitty [...]

Episode 96 – “Where Did All These Little People Come From?!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:00:53 +0000

Yay! I am back in town and live with Stephen (sooo happy). I also found out i have a peptic ulcer (aliens laid eggs in my chest) and I like spicy chicken. Nom. Also, batman beat up superman. It was so windy here today that a tree about fell on [...]

Episode 95 – “They are Totally Linguistic!!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 23:00:42 +0000

Stephen and I got mega chatty and ridiculously giggley for this episode… which means the stories were amazing! I am not sure what was in the water, but Stephen about popped his eyeballs out a few time from laughing so hard. We talked about foot odor so bad it caused a ten year [...]

Episode 94 – “We Eat Crazy For Breakfast” (take two)

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 03:21:13 +0000

Well, this is a tad late. Stephen and I tried to make it wonderful last eve… but Skype was laying down some thick layers of hate that made it impossible to understand each other through. Today, however, Skype was impressed with last nights virgin sacrifices… and allowed us to finish the show! [...]

Episode 93 – “Socksballs on Your Head”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:00:00 +0000

I can think of nothing of value to say, so I leave you with the musical stylings of Sailor Moon! “Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, Never running from a real fight, she is the one named Sailor Moon. She will never turn her back on a friend. She is always there to [...]

Episode 92 – “It’s 2am In My Pants”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:00:28 +0000

So, snowboarding was just… amazing. Stephen and I are so, so, SO very sore. You just cannot imagine how much energy strapping a board to your feet and hurling yourself down a mountain takes. Not to mention the bruised knees (worse than a week as a hooker), the bone chilling cold (especially [...]

Episode 91 – “Have You Ever Felt A Beaver?”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:00:42 +0000

Well, after a two week break… we are back! This is greatly annoying us that we missed two weeks, so we might do something fun to make up for that. Like… filming Stephen and I falling down the face of a mountain Blow up dolls, run away bride and groom (at the [...]

Episode 90 LIVE – “Your Mom Wrote On My Wall”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:00:58 +0000

I got a Batman for Christmas! It is so so so freaking badass! Stephen’s parents got me a happy happy evil wicked (insert comas) batman statue designed by George Perez (limited number), and I could die! I got shine Mk V Dc and I REALLY want to play right now! On [...]

Episode 89 – “Man, She’s Got BallZ!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:47:27 +0000

I found this clay stuff called “Sculpy” the other day and I am not totally obsessed with making mega cute animeish octopussys and presents and snowmen with mega cute bows and omg they are CUTE. Granted, I get them totally done, baked, painted… and I go to draw the face on and I always [...]

Episode 88 – “I Am The Pickle Soup!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 03:04:56 +0000

My throat, it pains me! I am making warm milk and honey and lemon juice and rum… so after about 10 mins… NOTHING will pain me! We had a killer turn out this week in the live chat (thank you all so much for showing up!), and the notes were very full of [...]

Episode 87 – “It’s Like a Face Enema!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:48:44 +0000

Wow, so this last week was a BLUR. Family coming in, my 8-year-old nephew learning to text, his 4-year-old friend learning my name and the phrase “come on!”… it was a blast, but I’m so glad it is few and far between. Stephen and I are sorry for the lateness, but who can [...]

Episode 86 – “Tonight We Fight With Knives!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 02:58:30 +0000

Shine and I were both exhausted for this episode… so it sounds like we are drunk off our faces. That fun filter that goes between your brain and your mouth is very not there for this ep! I’m going to sleep for 5 years after I write this. Maybe a week at [...]

Episode 85 – “I Like It Shaken AND Stirred”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 05:28:27 +0000

The show is LATE… late late for a very important date! Shine decided to finish off the rest of the left over alcohol from his wine and cheese party, and he is freaking hyper and insane, and not entirely sure when he has crossed that line that most people don’t cross when they are [...]

After The Blast – Episode 7

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:00:00 +0000

I cannot think of anything to write… instead I leave you with quotes from: http://bash.org/ Hey, you know what sucks? vaccuums Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? black holes Hey, you know what just isn’t cool? lava? We talked about Zach and Miri, Kevin Smith and how frakking cool he is, Halloween antics, Epic Fails, Glass in my Ass… [...]

Episode 84 – “Have You Pooped Today?”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 04:36:05 +0000

*yawn* I am so tired! Stephen is winding up all the cords from the show and Stephanie has ganked my DS to play Zensations Rainforest. Apparently, it is addicting. I want nothing more than to curl up in a nice warm bed and sleep for a year. Too bad I have [...]

After the Blast – Episode 6

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 00:50:50 +0000

Stephen had to go to the bathroom earlier… he RAN from the table and leaped over things, and dives into the bathroom. Then Steph and I hear a ring… and he stays in the bathroom for 15 mins while on the phone with his family. What the heck. We touched on The [...]

Episode 83 – “The Moo Moo Inferno”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 23:00:03 +0000

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, you worthless wretches of society; you scoundrels that feed on the underbelly of our world! I hope you enjoy dressing as whores and the damned; may your roamings lead to copious amounts of candy and alcohol… and may you wake up with the worst hangover you’ve had in three years Saturday morning. [...]

After The Blast – Episode 5

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:00:47 +0000

Stephen and I have lost our minds. We are tired and laughing at everything. We sang about snakes on a star… and then I almost peed my pants laughing. We rambled on about Red Sonja, James Bond, Superman books, New Watchman preview in front of the James Bond movie so freaking excited!!), [...]

Episode 82 – “Where Do You Get That Much Ostrich”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:52:39 +0000

I have laughed so hard the last two hours, that I’m pretty sure I am going to just throw up and die. My stomach is in pain, and I wanna curl up in bed and pass out. I spent three hours driving back up here, then another 30 going to a costume shop [...]

Show PostPwned!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:30:04 +0000

We have to postpone Thursday night’s show. Some events criss-crossed . We’ll be doing the LIVE show at the same time but on FRIDAY instead of Thursday. Sorry for the inconvenience and I hope you guys can still make it!

After the Blast 4 – Feat. Chris Moreno!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 16:00:41 +0000

Chris Moreno joined us for an awesome (Stephen’s favorite word) hour of geekdom. The super comic artist was cool enough to skype us for this session of after the blast. Stephen and I were super excited to have him on, and it went really well! We talked about comic convention etiquette, animal feelings, all [...]

Episode 81 – “You Dead, And Then You Undead”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 23:00:37 +0000

Ok, so, I’m sitting here thinking of what to write for our EIGHTY FIRST episode… and my sister jumps out of her seat, starts going “OOO, OH OH OH OH OooOooO!” and prancing her feet around. Thinking something was attacking her, I fling my laptop aside and jump up to. I look to [...]

After The Blast – Episode 3

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:00:35 +0000

So, we went to Kroger and got chips, twix, pancake mix, and cinnamon buns (which Stephanie proceeded to burn) after our After the Blast segment. I am very, very happy! This show is turning out to be a lot of fun! We have some wicked regulars that make the chat sessions amazing [...]

Episode 80 – “It’s Nawt a Tumah!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 23:00:01 +0000

This was an amazing live episode, and I love every damn one of you for showing up, calling in, and chatting away on the site. We had a call in from Chris Moreno (yay fan girl!), and a crap ton of deliriously retarded notes. Well, I really… REALLY want a twix from Kroger, [...]

Episode 79 – “Someone Is Burning A Fire”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 22:44:38 +0000

Hey Everybody! I’m sitting in a restaurant shortly before this episode is supposed to come out and typing this on my iPhone. That pretty much means that this intro will be short. I hope you guys enjoy the show as much as we did. Our show was packed with the usual insane and disgusting news [...]

After The Blast – Episode Zwei

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:00:05 +0000

This after show, show is turning out to be a lot of fun! I’m stoked when people chose to stay and chill out with us instead of venturing out into the real world. We rambled on about a stupid fruit fly that was being annoying, Tim Burton’s Alice, Johnny Depp as the Mad [...]

Episode 78 – “Hang On To Your Gonads!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:00:26 +0000

I am currently being harassed by a fruit fly. I want it to spontaneously combust… but it is not cooperating with me. Jerk. I was so tired right before we started the show. The fear of falling asleep mid sentence was lurking in the corner, but — per usual — doing [...]

After the Blast – Episode ONE!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:00:32 +0000

Since Stephen and I have started hanging out in the chat after the show, we have covered a lot of fun and interesting topics! Comics, movies, books, podcasts, directors, music, technology, fuzzy hand cuffs vs. leather bondage cuffs… you know, perfectly normal things. It has really been a blast — har har. [...]

Episode 77 – “What Kind of Nuts Are These?”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:00:04 +0000

We had sooooo many notes this week. I had to cut down on half of them, and we even did mid-show cuts to keep the time down. 20$ that next week I won’t be able to find a single note! I guess stupidity runs in bouts. If the amount of stupid [...]

Episode 76 – “The Universe? Great! Let’s Blow It Up!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:00:12 +0000

So, I have to get up at 5am tomorrow to make a 10am appointment 3 hours away. They are taking my splints off! Woo woo! Too bad I havent been going to bed till 7ish… and I slept until 3 today >L< I will be one very sleepy Smashface by evening [...]

Episode 75 – “I Have A Mango In My Teeth!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:00:06 +0000

Hurricane nom nom nom! I snuck into my sister’s room and attacked her with mounds of Homework so I could get back to doing the show! It sucked being benched for two weeks. I still sound really stuffy and retarded, and it hurts to laugh… but it was totally worth it for [...]