Horseshoes & Hand Grenades » Shows

Episode 132 – Can I Taste Your Juice?

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:21:39 +0000

I has string cheese. I _really_ enjoyed the show tonight… so I talked incessantly and interrupted Stephen every chance I got. The poor kid didn’t stand a chance. I also just saw another one of those INANE Palm Pre adverts… wtf is a palm pre? The chick in the commercial just [...]

Episode 131 – Halloweenieness

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:00:26 +0000

Happy Halloween all you super HnH dorks! I would tell you to be sane over the weekend, but then we might not have a show for next week. So be totally stupid of the weekend! We has a special guest this week (lilwill), who told us about someone at his school going [...]

Episode 130 – You Look Like Dick

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:00:01 +0000

Stephen, AKA Dick Tracy, was totally decked out in his 1930’s gear, while I looked like some sort of 80’s drop out (can we say blue eyeshadow?). The turn out was fantastic (thank you chat!), the voicemails and call-in’s epic, the notes hilarious… and the Halloween question dropped. What shall Stephen and I dress as [...]

Episode 129 – Toe Fungi RoosterZ

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:00:03 +0000

This episode was a very special episode of H&H as we had a guest host! Since Ashley is out fighting off mobs of amphibious squirrel zombies, we asked my good friend Lando to join us. Oh what an excellent choice that turned out to be. Ash was able to call in and talk for a [...]

Episode 128 – Running on Cow Power

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 23:00:13 +0000

After a 2 week hiatus, Horseshoes & Hand Grenades returns in an explosion of fire and doves just like John Woo likes it. We went through some stories this week that are guaranteed to make you think twice about putting confidence in the human race. There are some weird people on this little blue rock [...]

Episode 127 – Don’t Say Vagina

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 23:00:31 +0000

Since last week was the BEST SHOW EVER, Stephen and I decided that this week shall be the WORST show ever! Our chat box was down, Stephen and I both looked like poo (ok, so he looked like Clark Kent in his glasses, but I had green hair, soooo, yeah), notes were impossible to [...]

Episode 126 – When You’re In It

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:18:30 +0000

This was our BEST SHOW EVER! Thank you to everyone that showed up and mingled in the chat with us — all our old favorites and newbees alike. Thanks to one of our stories about a Banana Sex Cult, I now REALLY want a banana split. I am not going to have [...]

Episode 125 – Hand Cranked Happy

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:00:44 +0000

“This is our world now… the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn’t run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore… and you call us criminals. We seek after [...]

After the Blast – Episode 11 – Disney Eats Marvel!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:54:34 +0000

The “Disney buys Marvel” story became way too big for a random rabbit trail on Horseshoes & Hand Grenades so we decided to turn it into an After the Blast show in order to better analyze the situation and give the conversation more time to blossom. There are so many emotions surrounding this purchase in [...]

Episode 124 – Surrender the Pickle!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 00:14:38 +0000

Today, I dressed like a high school cheerleader on acid. How is that different than any other show day? Who knows. Stephen and I rambled a LOT and the COOLEST thing ever happened! Remember that naked dude in Tally that was riding his bike? You know, the one I actually [...]

After the Blast – Episode 10 w/ Lil Will!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:00:18 +0000

Ok, well I jacked up the settings somehow on the show and we ended up having one of our favorite people, Lil Will, on the for ATB to share with us stories of working at a drug store. We also meandered into the realm of the new Batman Game that I do not yet [...]

Episode 123 – Did You Step In It?

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 02:33:35 +0000

Yay! A little late, but awesome audio because I was in Motown in person! I am going to go see Halloween II in about 20 mins! I hope it doesn’t suck I also have lots of corn that Egats mummy sent me. Sooooo much corn! This show [...]

Episode 122 – The Blue End Goes Where?!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:44:00 +0000

Tonight’s episode was absolutely batnuts crazy! I don’t even remember what we talked about, but it involved lots of uncouth, strange, and completely ridiculous stories that are the staple of what we do here at H&H. I’m pretty sure we took plenty of time to alienate most of our audience, and help others to feel [...]

Episode 121 – Their Ants Bit My Ass

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:32:47 +0000

For some reason I decided to dress all in green — green hair, eyes, makeup, clothes — to do this show. Then someone told me that green meant you were horny o_O I thought it made me a leprechaun! I think this show made up for the off the road driving from [...]

Episode 120 – Shut Yo’ Mouth!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 23:00:06 +0000

Tonight’s show was probably the craziest live show that we’ve had in a long while. So many amazing people called in and we cannot even begin to thank them for taking some time out to chat with us. My dad even stopped by to give us some words of wisdom and discuss “butt problems.” You [...]

After the Blast w/ Chris Moreno – Episode 9

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 23:00:16 +0000

Our good friend Chris Moreno decided to once again grace us with his present and take some time out to tell a story or two. Chris is the artist behind such amazing works as Sanz Pantz: Ninja Platypus, Super Frat, Dysfunctianimals, the current Toy Story series and a whole crap ton more. We were so [...]

Episode 119 – Feel My Meat!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:00:49 +0000

So many of you wonderful people came to chat this evening! It melted my heart a tad We also have the illustrious honor of having one of our audience members BANNED from listening to us by his PARENTS! I don’t know why, but this announcement made Stephen and I tear [...]

Episode 118 – What’s A Barnyard Brothel?

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0000

I dressed up like a small child that raided her mothers closet for this ep. Then I got a crown stuck in my hair — which was not pleasant. After that someone said something in the chat about bees being the new male enhancement… I can’t tell you how much that freaks me [...]

Episode 117 – It’s Melting My Pants!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:00:49 +0000

So, we finished the show and I hear this weird meowing outside. I realize it was a stray cat we feed, so I yelled down to my father to tell him that Gigi wants food. I hear my dad go outside in the garage and then this horrible hissing and keening noise and [...]

Episode 116 – Vampire’s Suck

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 23:00:59 +0000

So, Chi just gave me cherries that looked SO much like balls. I was insulted, but then I was glad I had cherries so I eated them… and then I dropped the cherry seed on me and got a huge cherry spot on my stupid new shirt! GRRRR Moral of the story? [...]

Episode 115 – Like Squeezin’ Sauce From A Duck

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:00:07 +0000

A gorilla walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender was amazed to hear the gorilla speak, but brought him a beer anyway. The gorilla finished the beer and handed the bartender a twenty dollar bill. The bartender just couldn’t believe that a gorilla knew anything about money, so he only gave back one [...]

Episode 114 – Sometimes I Just Want Their Balls

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:20:44 +0000

Take bloody two! Re-recording a show has never been one of my favorite things to do… but I actually think this take was better. Well, I have to go write an accounting paper (how the F#$K do you write a paper on ACCOUNTING?!… can someone please explain that to me?), and then write [...]

Episode 113 – Lovin’ Time

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 23:00:38 +0000

I can NOT think of anything clever today… directing to weird al lyrics… Elmo’s got gun, Elmo’s got a gun. Big bird’s on the run. Bernie’s dialin’ 911 {Chourus} What made Elmo snap? Was he tired of Big Bird’s Crap? They say when Elmo was arrested, they found Oscar headless in the trash. I hear that Gordon’s really runnin, Now that Elmo’s got a gun, The [...]

Episode 112 – J is for Jenitalia

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:00:59 +0000

Ok, so, I went bike riding last night to get some exercise in. I hadn’t been in ages, but it was a perfect evening to go get some ridage in. Anyway, I woke up this morning and my pelvic bones were like… bruised. I sat up and pondered wtf I had done [...]

Episode 111 – Don’t Tug On My Nuts!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:00:28 +0000

Well, Stephen and I took a week trip to the bogs of FL where we hunted the elusive 5 ft tall squirrel and dined with the 4inch martini grub of ZanZaBar. Wtf, I’m so hyper. We talked SO much this episode. I missed you guys and it felt good to share about [...]

Episode 110 – Not In My Ear!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 22 May 2009 23:00:58 +0000

Well, i just drove 5 hours from NC to WV, and I get to drive 12 from WV to FL in about a DAY. Actually, I think Stephen might drive… he will get us lost, but still Thank you SO much to everyone who turned out and called in! [...]

Episode 109 – Jingle Balls

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 15 May 2009 23:00:46 +0000

I cannot think of anything to say. At all. I don’t even recall what we talked about on the show. I know we laughed a lot and everyone in the chat was totally perverted (shocking, I know), but I can’t tell you one single story. Let me look… ahhh, ok: Snakes in [...]

Episode 108 – It Rhymes with Duck

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 09 May 2009 19:33:36 +0000

Well, we finished the show in time to make it to Star Trek last night. OMG, such a good movie! I think they did it justice, while still maintaining creative autonomy… unlike X-Men Blah. The acting was just phenomenal… also, Kirk was hot as hell HUGE special thanks [...]

After the Blast w/ Chris Moreno

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:42:12 +0000

Chris Moreno! Oh, yeah, people… Chris Moreno graced us with his presence for a second time! We talked about all his amazing upcoming projects (how does the kid have time to sleep?), his lack of twitter-worthy day-to-day activities, and how he should make me my own Batman life sized art! You see that pic [...]

Episode 107 – Your Pickle Is Still In My Fridge

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 02 May 2009 03:43:00 +0000

I made my tea too sweet, but only with Stivia so it’s ok! Northern tea isn’t sweet at all… and then you go down south and the tea is not so much tea as flavored sugar water. I also like my hot tea with milk and lemon (depending on what type), but most [...]

Episode 106 – Does That Come in Mongoose Flavor?

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 01:29:55 +0000

My sister is a dork. A huge dork. She is, in fact, throwing things as me as I try to write this. It is incredibly distracting. I want to shove her down some stairs… BUT I shall refrain or my cohost might be a bit pissed when I tell him that [...]

Episode 105 – My Balls Are On Fire!

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:09:40 +0000

I don’t even remember what we stories we read this week! Stephen and I had so much freaking fun doing the show and were highly entertained by people in the chat (Hi, Shannon!). Thursdays are becoming the highlight of my week. I feel like I get to go spend an hour and [...]

Episode 104 – “The Academy of Fail for Whales!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 23:00:15 +0000

I just eated a cheeseburger! Twas the best cheeseburger ever! Everything is good when you are starving. This show was the episode on ZombieZ. Everyone ate everyone this week! We also welcome Xclow and Cntrlaltelite to our fanbase! We had a few technical errors (ustream SUCKED this [...]

Episode 103 – “Go Twitter Yourself”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:26:15 +0000

Because Stephen and I are now on the right side of famous… we now have sponsors. You may have heard the HoHo GPS product placement last week (Stephen and I both have one), but this week we bring you excerpts from a well known audio book “How to Be a Street Whore”. This [...]

Episode 102 – “Ouch! I Think It’s Teething!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:00:08 +0000

We are two years old, folks! Stephen and I cannot even begin to express (although we might attempt it in our own rambling way) how appreciative we are that you guys have stuck with us every week for two years. You guys are amazing and we seriously love you all. And, just [...]

Episode 101 – “Get That Out of Your Mouth!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 23:00:01 +0000

Ok, so again I cannot think of anything worthwhile to say. The show was fun, I couldn’t shut up, and Stephen got all the notes again. A lot of new ppl showed up again (woo woo!), and fat people too lazy to work receive tons of cash so they can keep not working, a [...]

Episode ONE HUNDRED! – “Prehensile Boobies”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 23:07:21 +0000

Ok, so, in celebration of the 100th episode Stephen, Steph and I all went out with some buddies and had dessert. My dessert consisted of a Hurricane and Stephen’s consisted of half of a Amaretto sour (I finished the majority of it because he is a pansy). I now have a killer headache, but the [...]

Episode 99 – “Put Some Butter On Those Nipples”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:00:13 +0000

I am so beyond tired… I am not sure how I stayed away to do the show this Eve! I kept randomly talking about mice with dorsal penises..in fact, I fell asleep writing this! Stephen is going to call me in a bit and ask me where the intro is Stephen got [...]

Episode 98: “It’s Like a Straight Candy Cane”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:00:16 +0000

HnH welcomes Jeebee and Bootsack to the chat! Today has been the weirdest day. I had to take the cat to the vet, i got an order from fedeX, but half of it was missing, a squirrel tried to attack me when I was driving home, and then some random person showed up in [...]

Episode 97: “I Can Poop When I Want To”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 23:00:40 +0000

I hold in my hands the coolest looking candy stick I have ever seen. It is a rainbow candy cane (well, a stick because there is no hook) and I totally didnt want to eat it because it looks so My Little Ponyish. My sister got it for me (along with hello kitty [...]

Episode 96 – “Where Did All These Little People Come From?!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:00:53 +0000

Yay! I am back in town and live with Stephen (sooo happy). I also found out i have a peptic ulcer (aliens laid eggs in my chest) and I like spicy chicken. Nom. Also, batman beat up superman. It was so windy here today that a tree about fell on [...]

Episode 95 – “They are Totally Linguistic!!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 23:00:42 +0000

Stephen and I got mega chatty and ridiculously giggley for this episode… which means the stories were amazing! I am not sure what was in the water, but Stephen about popped his eyeballs out a few time from laughing so hard. We talked about foot odor so bad it caused a ten year [...]

Episode 94 – “We Eat Crazy For Breakfast” (take two)

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 03:21:13 +0000

Well, this is a tad late. Stephen and I tried to make it wonderful last eve… but Skype was laying down some thick layers of hate that made it impossible to understand each other through. Today, however, Skype was impressed with last nights virgin sacrifices… and allowed us to finish the show! [...]

Episode 93 – “Socksballs on Your Head”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:00:00 +0000

I can think of nothing of value to say, so I leave you with the musical stylings of Sailor Moon! “Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, Never running from a real fight, she is the one named Sailor Moon. She will never turn her back on a friend. She is always there to [...]

Episode 92 – “It’s 2am In My Pants”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:00:28 +0000

So, snowboarding was just… amazing. Stephen and I are so, so, SO very sore. You just cannot imagine how much energy strapping a board to your feet and hurling yourself down a mountain takes. Not to mention the bruised knees (worse than a week as a hooker), the bone chilling cold (especially [...]

Episode 91 – “Have You Ever Felt A Beaver?”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:00:42 +0000

Well, after a two week break… we are back! This is greatly annoying us that we missed two weeks, so we might do something fun to make up for that. Like… filming Stephen and I falling down the face of a mountain Blow up dolls, run away bride and groom (at the [...]

Episode 90 LIVE – “Your Mom Wrote On My Wall”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:00:58 +0000

I got a Batman for Christmas! It is so so so freaking badass! Stephen’s parents got me a happy happy evil wicked (insert comas) batman statue designed by George Perez (limited number), and I could die! I got shine Mk V Dc and I REALLY want to play right now! On [...]

Episode 89 – “Man, She’s Got BallZ!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:47:27 +0000

I found this clay stuff called “Sculpy” the other day and I am not totally obsessed with making mega cute animeish octopussys and presents and snowmen with mega cute bows and omg they are CUTE. Granted, I get them totally done, baked, painted… and I go to draw the face on and I always [...]

Episode 88 – “I Am The Pickle Soup!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 03:04:56 +0000

My throat, it pains me! I am making warm milk and honey and lemon juice and rum… so after about 10 mins… NOTHING will pain me! We had a killer turn out this week in the live chat (thank you all so much for showing up!), and the notes were very full of [...]

Episode 87 – “It’s Like a Face Enema!”

fans@horseshoes-handgrenades.com (Steve and Ashley) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:48:44 +0000

Wow, so this last week was a BLUR. Family coming in, my 8-year-old nephew learning to text, his 4-year-old friend learning my name and the phrase “come on!”… it was a blast, but I’m so glad it is few and far between. Stephen and I are sorry for the lateness, but who can [...]