Hey guys,

I just wanted to let you know, that I will be out of the country traveling for the next three weeks. I’m set to get back in Mid April and I look to updating you with more blog posts then.

For those of you that can’t wait here is the latest E-zine article:
How to talk to women that leaves them speechless, intrigued, and wanting more

Or, alternatively you can check out some of my favorite (and by the looks of the comments some of your favorites) posts.

Where Are All The Single Women?

How To Impress A Girl – By Not Impressing Her At ALL!

4 Ways to Maintain Attraction In A Relationship …

The Irrelevance of Sexual Compatibility! …

The Masculine Man and The Feminine Woman

How To Tell She Is Emotionally Immature …

The Difference Between Attraction And Relationship Skills

And, for those of you concerned, don’t worry, I won’t be disappearing off the face of the planet any time soon (just visiting a part of it).

Take care guys,

And, I’ll be in touch with you all soon,

Hot Alpha Female

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Shaping their identity and finding their place in the world
Women in the 18-24 age range are fresh out of home or college and ready to hit the big bad world until they realize that they have absolutely no idea about what goes on it in.

Finally, the veil of protection given by their parents and various educational institutions starts to lift, and they are left to their own devices to craft a life that they feel suits them and that they can gladly call their own.

As part of this transitional identity forming stage of their lives comes a highly idealistic perception backed with high expectations of what they think and feel life should be about. Ironically, some of these expectations about dating, love, and life are crafted from unreliable sources like: romantic comedies, travel brochures, or sitcoms aimed at selling them a dream that few can actually accomplish, or that many will eventually find unfulfiling. This is a time for experimentation, exploration, searching, and hope. For many young women, this is a time to: feel free, party, embrace the world full tilt, and spend time finding out what it is they actually like or feel is important in their lives. What a wonderful time it is to be with a woman in this period of her life. She can act spontaneous; eagerly try new things; and feel truly optimistic about the happiness and joy that love can bring her. Whether her goals are to settle down with the right man, charge ahead with her career, or travel the world – her enthusiasm for these things will be captivating to any man.

But like with everything, there are always two sides of the story. Along with her fantasy of fulfilling the image of her ideal life and shaping her identity, there will be times of great uncertainty for her. What if she doesn’t like her new identity? What if she starts to miss the comfort and security that she found from her parents or from being at school? What if her new identity conflicts with some old beliefs? There may be times when she feels torn between what she really wants and what she thinks she wants (or has been brought up to believe she wants). This to and fro can cause a flux in her emotional state.

She could be happy and excited one minute about her dreams, and then scared and confused the next. She could also feel this fickleness when it comes to how she feels about you or the relationship.

This is why sometimes younger women can be very hot and cold. One minute it seems they are really into you and the next time it seems like she flipped a switch. Realize that when she does this it’s not a personal attack. And, all she may need during this time is a kind word, a steady hand to hold, and a place of comfort – so that in time she can regain her foot holding (and she will).

One perfectly funny and enlightening example of how this conflict can play out in shaping a young woman’s identity was in a scene in the movie “Tangled” which is a modern tale of Rapunzel. It is just after Rapunzel has escaped her tower and is out with the prince to pursue her one and only dream of seeing the floating lanterns – which are kind of … well, far far away. One minute she is ecstatic, happy, joyous, and excited, running around the place and enjoying her freedom – and then the next she is face down on the grass crying her eyes out. She was conflicted. On one hand, she wanted make her one and only dream happen. And, on the other hand, she knew she was directly defying her mother. The prince witnessing all of this chaos finally says to her in a casual tone, “You know, I can’t help but notice you seem to have a little at war with yourself”. You can watch the scene for yourself below.

The attention deficit/surplus disorder
Younger women have been known for two contradictory things when it comes to wanting attention. The first is that “you must make it obvious that you are interested in them” to get her attention and the other is that “you must make HER work really hard for yours” – meaning you leave her crumbs and she will follow the trail to you. So which one really works? Funnily enough, both of these elements are true.

The best way to counter this is to be flexibly persistence in your approach, while making it very clear what your intentions are. It’s also important to not let her fickleness sway you. Her doubts should not lead you to become more doubtful.

She does not need another fickle person in her life. She already has enough of them. What she needs and craves is someone who can act consistent, feel emotionally steady, and provide a little bit of guidance along this journey. Sure, she would like to have fun with you, but if she is ready, more than likely she would like to develop something a little deeper, too.

During the initial stages of meeting her, it’s important to have non sexual interactions, which help build her trust and curiosity. This way, if you are an older man, she will not get the “seedy old man” feeling around you, but feel an innate sense of trust and safety around you, which will be the building block for attraction. Once this is established, it is important to also communicate sexual interest before she categorizes you into the friend zone.

An important thing to note about women is that they like to be able to categorize the relationships they have with men.

They like to know whether you are a friend, a friend with benefits, a potential boyfriend, a boyfriend, husband material, or husband. These categories help them feel more secure about the relationship dynamic. It’s comforting to a woman when she can speak to other parties, and confidently and clearly say, “this is my xyz”. This provides her with a sense of security and social validation that can be especially important to her at this time in her life.

Now, once you are in an exclusive relationship with this younger woman, you may find that the fickle attention she appeared to be happy with at the beginning is now unsatisfying to her. Instead, she now demands attention on a regular basis. This is often where men can go wrong.

They think, “To get her attention I had to apply flexible persistence and be on my game just so she would reply my text message! And, now she complains that I don’t give her enough attention!”

This is often what I refer to the game change that needs to take place when you move from “dating women” to “dating a woman” and beyond. What you may have done to get her attention in the first place may not be what you need to get her attention in the future. When a woman is first getting to know you, she may appear to be a little fickle in the way she feels about you. That is because she doesn’t know if she trusts you yet, it may be because she is a little guarded and unsure if you are a good man to open her heart up to. Once you have established trust and she has taken on board your leadership, she will want to open up more to you without too many games or minimal “hard to get” behavior. And as part of that, she expects you to open up more and to show more attention and love.

Most men think that by showing a woman how they feel, it will somehow ruin everything. What ruins this is actually hesitancy on the man’s part.

If you are unsure, she will be unsure. She will look to you for leadership. So, if you are uncertain in expressing your emotions, she most likely will follow suit. Therefore, remember once you are past those initial dating stages with younger women, be a little ballsy in showing how much you really care.

In the next 2 parts, I show you exactly what you need to do to talk and date younger women. Check them out below:
Part 2: Talking to younger women
Part 3: Dating younger women

As always I would love to hear your thoughts. What have your experiences been with younger women? Are there some things that still confuse you about dating them? Let me know!

Hot Alpha Female

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In recent months, I have taken on board a number of coaching clients that has allowed me to gain more insight into what many of you guys are struggling with.

While initially all my clients have been focused on getting things “done” and learning “new skills”, I am always steering them in what may seem the opposite direction. That being: developing their character, blasting through their limiting beliefs, and helping them take the focus off external circumstances they cannot control and back onto internal processes which puts them in the driver’s seat.

As part of this process, there is one fundamental misunderstanding that the majority of men make when learning the process of connecting and interacting with women. That fact is that women don’t date men based on ONE particular skill or quality. When women are in the process of selecting a mate, they are looking for an “entire package”. And, no — not the one that you may be thinking of. Therefore, the focus should not be on getting one component exactly right, but getting the right amount of components together and integrating them fully.

Let’s take the example of the iceberg. Now, the point behind the iceberg theory is that only 10% of the actual iceberg is visible from above the water. While a massive 90% is beneath the water.

Now, back to the dating world, what accounts for the 10% and the 90%?

Essentially, the 10% that you can see is made up of social skills, status, and what some may refer to as superficial preferences. Meaning, a woman would like to have them but they are not necessarily deal breakers if she doesn’t.

So, what does the killer 90% hang on? Well, maybe some of you can guess it – but all that hangs on character, presence, and self worth.

In other words, 10% is based on what you are DOING and 90% is based on who you are BEING. (This is a business principle business man Ken Blanchard talks about and it dam well applies here, too!)

And, some of you may be reading this right now and think, “Well I’m F***ed”. Because it seems so much more appealing and tangible to develop skills than it does to create a strong presence within yourself.

The good news that developing a strong sense of presence can come from integrating various parts of your life until they form a cohesive whole. When your life is fragmented and you have one area handled and another area in shambles, it can really confuse the way a woman feels about you. She can sense this fragmentation, this lack of self congruence, and it may mean the difference between whether she says yes or no to the next date; or yes or no going steady with you.

Another important part to note is that women can sense this within the first couple of minutes of meeting you. And, what they will be looking for over time is that the parts that she found appealing about you in the beginning, continue to run through your life. If when you first met her you were smooth, confident, and knew what you wanted out of life, and over time you start to lose that – then the question that will be running through her head will be, “Where was that guy that I thought I met the first time?” Which can lead to other questions like, “Did he fool me?”, “Can I really trust him?”, “What else did I potentially misconstrue about him?”

Now, obviously when you start to get to know someone better, you find out more and more about them. And, when you enter into a relationship you find out even more about their vulnerabilities and their fears and what not. I’m not saying that as soon as you show your vulnerabilities the potential relationship you were building is over. In fact, it’s far from it. What I am saying however is that in the initial stages it’s important to project a congruent version of who you are, which is integrated as much as possible. Therefore, it take pressure of you because there is nothing really “for her to find out”. You have been congruent through the whole process so, “What she sees, is what she gets”. A lot of women value this in a man. And, a lot of women find comfort in knowing that and it provides a much more solid foundation on which to build a relationship.

With this in mind, the average guy will usually want ONE skill or technique that will “Help him win with the ladies”. And, even if I were to suggest such a technique, it would be as useful as giving someone who has just gone bankrupt a budgeting tool.

It’s too little, too late. And, in the grand scheme of things it’s not going to make much difference at all. Going bankrupt was the effect. And, the change that you must identify the cause.

Therefore, the remainder of this article will be about how you can develop that 90% (which is what ultimately matters). The first part is awareness. Therefore, there are 3 core things that appear to be at the root of the majority of men’s problems.

1) An outdated identity
Men and women can have outdated images or versions of themselves that define how they relate to themselves and the world around them. For example, a 45 year old man, despite his current age, could still at heart believe he is still the 10 year old kid who was shy, got bullied, and didn’t know how to interact with people (let alone the girls). And, maybe deep inside he may still feel that way even though it’s 30+ years on and is no longer applicable. What does this mean? Essentially, it could turn out that no matter how much success he may or may not have with women there will always be a “cutting point” where self sabotage occurs when his reality conflicts with this identity. When this “cutting point” occurs, something has got to give. So, either he must change his identity or he gives up his current situation in order to re-enforce the reality of his current (and somewhat outdated) identity.

2) Self worth
When a man’s self worth is low or dependent on external circumstances, it can lead to a low emotional stability and difficulty in dealing with challenges in relationships (just amongst a few things). It can also lead to self sabotage, where a person can get rid of or run away from something that is actually good in their life because in their unconscious mind they don’t believe they are truly worthy of having that good thing in their life. As the famous saying goes, “You don’t need to prove your worth, you just need to know it”. When a man has self worth, it’s easier to be assertive, to ask for what they want, and to feel like an equal to all those around him. Having high self worth means that you generally feel your own sense of value and feel a natural desire and ability to share that with someone else in a healthy manner. Doing this is very different from going to a relationship for validation and approval, or in a hope that it will fill a void from within.

3) Limiting beliefs
I’m sure that you have heard of how damaging limiting beliefs can be not only in relationships but to a career or personal happiness. The ones that come up often in dating are: fear of being hurt or rejected, fear of intimacy, fear of vulnerability, the desire to be right rather than happy, and pride. When limiting beliefs run your life, usually you are living in a world of pain. And, because relationships and dating are so close to the heart (if you do manage to get someone that close), then that pain can be amplified. Like with anything, the first step is becoming aware of when and where these limiting beliefs are being played out specially in your dating life. It’s also important to note that these can creep up on someone, especially where the same person holds two opposing beliefs. An example of this would be a person who believes that he wants a relationship yet has an underlying and more powerful fear of intimacy or rejection.

When these three areas are resolved, then building a connection with someone and a relationship with them can be really quite simple. The main reason why people have such a struggle with this is because of the many contradictory beliefs, identities, and low self images they have within them, that literally pull them apart.

Like I’ve mentioned before, it can be like being in a car trying to move forward with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake. It’s a lot of effort and you don’t end up going very far. In the meantime, you are destroying your car, wasting petrol, and burning your tires.

For those of you that are reading and thinking “Ok, some of these issues might be playing up for me”, just remember the first step is awareness. As Nathaniel Branden put it, “You can’t leave a place you have never been”. So, congratulations.

Have I done your head in? Want something a little easier to digest and put into action? Check out my latest e-zine on 3 reasons why she won’t date you and exactly what to do about it!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Did this blog provide you with any light bulb moments? If so, please share!

Hot Alpha Female

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Now, if this was a “pick up” blog I would be saying, “Why have one girl when you can have 10?” And, then proceed to tell you all the benefits of what having 10 girlfriends would be. But for anyone who has actually had more than ONE girlfriend at a time, the reality is it creates more problems than it does benefits. But that is besides the point, because the point is that the majority of you are looking to get the interest of ONE particular woman.

So, here is the best way in which you can attract that one woman into your life. First, it’s your (good old) mindset. It’s your attitude and your inner game. Now, I know this is the boring answer and I know that some of you just wished for once I would say, “Here is this bright shiny blue pill and if you just take it, the girl of your dreams will be in your arms and you will live happily ever after”. But as you know, life let alone dating women is not like that – AT ALL.

So, yes, it’s all about your mindset baby! In fact, there are complete programs out there that ONLY focus on helping you develop the mindset to attract and keep a woman in your life. And, if it’s good enough for them, then it’s good enough for you. So let’s get to it!

You know what makes a fantasy so appealing? The fact that it’s a fantasy! And, usually the basis of any fantasy is intense focus on only ONE SIDE of the equation. And, as you know life is always working in balance. So, it’s not that the balance doesn’t exist, it’s just that the fantasy prevents you from seeing the other side. If you could see what you want from a balanced perspective, then you would take the fantasy off it’s pedestal and more than likely set a realistic plan to accomplish your goals which YOU BELIEVED was possible.

Which brings me to this idea:

Most of you guys say that you want to get that one special girl, but MOST of you don’t believe that you really can get her.

Some of you don’t believe you are worthy to get a girl like that. Some of you think that you are going to need to work extra hard and be super perfect to attract a girl like that into your life and to keep her there. What is that like?

It’s like having driving a car and having the brake and the accelerator jammed on at the same time. Something is happening, but there is a lot of resistance in getting where you want to go. In essence, some of you may be spinning your wheels. Wanting something that think you want, but not believing you can have it.

And, this is the golden rule in life. To get what you really want, you first have to believe that you can have it. If you want the woman then every fiber of your being has to believe that you can have her. This is different from a desiring of her and is to do more with believing you are worthy of her.

So, let’s get onto dissolving this fantasy shall we? So, here it is:

That fulfillment, happiness, satisfaction, or accomplishment you THINK a woman will give you – does not exist.

There, I said it.

I can guarantee you that although having a woman in your life may feel really good, having her does and WILL NOT EQUAL happiness. And, if she finds out she is the reason for your happiness, she might feel good, but she also might feel intense pressure of what it’s like to be 100% accountable for someone else’s happiness.

See, women like men who are happy because they have fulfilling lives that are independent of women.

Dissolving the fantasy about happiness …
So your first course of action is asking yourself the question: What things in my life make me completely happy and fulfilled that are independent of that special woman being in my life?

And, here is what you do next:

1. Have at least 3 activities you like to do that make you happy without women. This could be a TV show you like, a hobbies, and a career. OR maybe it is doing volunteer work, repairing your car, and caring for your garden. OR maybe it is exercising, watching a certain type of movies, and playing in a band. Whatever those things are, find 3 or more!

2. Remember that YOU create your happiness. It is nice to have a girlfriend, but ultimately your happiness and meaning for your life needs to be independent of women.

3. Create connections and deep friendships which give you that emotional support that you crave. Yes, it’s good to have a woman that you can share your most intimate feelings with, who is your own personal cheerleader – and having a good social network of friends or family who can provide that support for you as much as possible will also help fill that void.

You see when you feel like nothing is missing and that your life is complete – that is the time when you are most likely going to attract or maintain attraction with a woman in your life. A woman wants to be A PART of your life, not your sole existence for living it.

Dissolving a fantasy about her …
Now, here is how you can dissolve the possible fantasy you have of her.

Ask yourself the question: Do you really like her (for who she is), or the person that you just THINK she is?

Whether this is a girl you have a crush on at work/gym or a girl you have a crush on who you feel like you know and like … please, please, please, keep this in mind …

First, ask yourself what you REALLY know about her. Maybe you like her smile, but does that mean she smiles all the time? I can promise you every woman I know can be a handful sometimes. They can all be a pain in the A*S to deal with sometimes. That smile you see on her face, no matter how sincere it is, is NOT always there.

So, remember that she is a real person with insecurities, hang ups, problems, and flaws. And when she gets the flu, she probably has snot dripping out her nose and coughs like a horse.

Not really sexy to think of the reality, eh? But that is the reality and I am telling you this because she is a person rather than a goddess on a pedestal. Get those fantasies out of your head about how wonderful she is AND then you can act more attractive around her. The you can work on being your most authentic self instead of some perfect version of yourself that you think she will like.

Dissolving a fantasy about being in a relationship …
And, here is another thing to remember: the relationship is just the start.

Just because you end up dating her doesn’t mean it will be easy. I mean when you think about your fantasies about dating her, talking with her, sleeping with her – are you thinking about the fact that she probably does things that are irritating?

You know how much I talk about how difficult women can be at times. They have their emotional sh*t fits. And, guess what women are human, too. They have their insecurities, they have their moods, and yes some of them even fart in their sleep (totally sexy right?).

Why am I telling you this? Only to ensure that if you are putting her on a pedestal that you start to take her off that. Because in putting a woman on a pedestal you are potentially negating the great things you have to offer. And, if she is on a pedestal then a part of you may never feel like her equal and that can be devastating in the attraction game.

So, what’s my point?

Only that you need to get out of your daydreams and into grounded into your body and your life.

When you can come from a place of balanced perspective and true self worth you won’t have to chase women down, you will be able to draw them into your life by being an attractive man and having an attractive life.

I’ve had my say, what are your thoughts? Do you have a fantasy about happiness, relationships, or women?

Hot Alpha Female

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In 2005 Steve Jobs did a speech to a huge cast of college graduates. What he shared with them were some principles which were potentially life transforming.

There was one in particular that I truly connected with. And, it’s one that I believe will help you over your FEARS when you feel like: everything is on the line.

Perspective changes our world. And, that changes everything.

Hot Alpha Female

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I know “that” woman you are talking about. Ok, maybe not personally, but I know that you think she is the one woman or the one kind of woman that would really make all your dreams come true. Maybe she is uber hot. Maybe she is seriously sexy. Maybe you think you would have a killer connection with her. Fill in the blanks however you please.

Whether it’s a celebrity fantasy like Kim Kardashian, Angeline Jolie, Megan Fox or Jessica Alba; or it’s the girl next door; the girl at work; the best friend who you want to get to know in the “other way” – the same question keeps coming up.

“How do I get a girl like “that” to date a guy like me?”

Which is usually followed by a whole bunch of reasons your “mind” makes up which disqualifies you from dating a woman like this. In fact, the mind is a very powerful thing. And, even if a woman like “that” was interested in you – with that current mindset either you wouldn’t see it, or you would sabotage the process so a girl like “that” would eventually lose interest in you.

Now, I’m not going to go on another rant about how important mindset and self esteem is when attracting and dating good quality women (or maybe I am). I would suggest that if you can’t relate to any of what I’m saying – it’s probably because you have grown beyond this point. Congratulations. For everyone else .. keep reading.

So, let me give you an example. Suppose you are a guy who has only ever known, driven, and had cars worth 50K – Who has a dream to own a Ferrari at 500K. Not only do you have a constant fantasy about what it would be like to own a Ferrari (about how great the leather would smell, how fast it could accelerate, and how well it would handle around corners) – you ALSO believe at the deepest part of your BEING that you are only worth a 50K Car.

After all, it’s all you have ever known.

So here in lies the dilemma. Because at the root of your being you believe you are only worth a 50K car – you are setting yourself up for some painful realities which can NEVER match your fantasy.

See, if you believe that you are only worth a 50K car and what you really want is a 500K car (but don’t truly feel worthy of it) – then either you will NEVER get the Ferrari OR you will find a way to get rid of the Ferrari fast when you DO get it. Meaning when you do get to buy it, you won’t be able to retain it in your life for very long. Maybe you crash it, get it impounded, or some other creative way to get it out of your life.

Maybe this has happened, with other things besides cars (get my drift?)

It’s a sucky situation, and I’m sure you are wondering, “So, what’s the solution?”

Well, it’s not all doom and gloom. There is a way which you can have the Ferrari and not only keep it in your life but appreciate and enjoy it for what it’s worth.

What do you have to do? Here it is …

You have to raise your self worth to match what you really want.

Simple right? Let me explain.

If you want a 500K car then you got to believe you are worth a 500K car. Now, that doesn’t mean just repeating, “I’m worth a 500K car” over and over again until you drive yourself insane. No, no, no.

The quickest way to match your reality with your fantasy to increase your self worth bit by bit. Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere right? The trick is to grow your self worth but not beyond a point that ignites the “safety mechanism”. What happens when the safety mechanism engages? Sabotage is what happens. Which basically means that you find new and creative ways to get that “thing” that you wanted so badly – out of your life (this is an unconscious intention, consciously you may be thinking what the “F**K is going on!)

So, how can you start to grow your self worth? Well, going back to my Ferrari example, you would have to start small, by maybe buying a 55K car. And, then a 70K car. And, then a 100K Car. And, so on. And, you would keep each car until you would know that you were able to “comfortably” retain it in your life WITHOUT self sabotage. And, when you were able to do that at each stage you would begin to realize hey I am worthy of a 55K, 70K, 100K car. And, soon you will be well on your way to feeling worthy of a 500K car.

Alright, so I’m hoping that some of you may have been catching on and realize that this doesn’t ONLY apply to cars. It’s applies to the quality of the women that you date.

I know a lot of you who want that dream woman. That one woman you turns your world upside down and who you DO anything for, to be with. She is the 500K Ferrari. Yet some of you only believe you are worth a 50K car/girl. So if you want the dream girl – you have to believe that you are an equal to this woman. You have to believe that you are worth a woman like this. And, truly believe it with your BEING and not just your thoughts. Now, I have an number of articles on how to build your awareness of putting women on pedestals <here> and <here>. This helps. Building your self worth is the next step.

So, how would you do this? It first starts with approaching and talking to women that you are comfortable talking to. The type of woman this is, will be different for everyone depending on where each individual is at. If you are an incredibly shy guy who doesn’t like talking to people let alone women, then the first step for you would be to make and hold eye contact for about 3 seconds while out and about with any man, woman, or child. And, then go from there.

If you were a man who was comfortable with talking to people just not attractive women then the next best step would be to talk to women who you were NOT attracted to or that you did not find attractive. So, this would be women who you don’t find physically attractive; older women; younger women; women who are obliged to at least be open to communication like sales assistants, check out chicks, waitresses, and so on. And, once you were more comfortable with this focus on moving up to women that you find slightly more attractive and continuing to work up the ladder.

See, the truth is that some of you are at POINT A and want to get to POINT F by tomorrow. It’s not going to happen. There is a process that you must all go through. Patience is the key. As Tony Robbins once said, “People overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in 10 years.” Now, I’m not saying that you have to wait 10 years to get your dream woman. You can go at whatever pace you would like. But, it will be more effective if you set some realistic expectations on yourself.

And, there is nothing to say that the process of getting THERE will be any less exciting than actually getting the goal.

I know from personal experience that working towards goals is always more rewarding than actually accomplishing them. Happiness comes from striving for what you want while being happy with what you have got. Going through this process will also teach you to become more present and more fully engaged in your life. And, to realize that “the moment” you are experiencing right now, is good enough just as it is.

When you can set realistic expectations on yourself; have a strategy to move towards every day; and focus on enjoying the process /moment that is presented in front you – it will help you find the fulfillment and happiness “NOW” that you think a great woman will provide you “in the future”.

I’ve had my say, now it’s your turn. What are your thoughts and experiences with this concept?

Hot Alpha Female

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You can visit this newly created page <here> to view other frequently asked questions about dating, relating and attracting women.

I get this asked all the time. HAF, are women less logical than men? And, how do you reason with their logic?

I believe that both and women can be irrational or illogical at times and it’s really dependent on “who is more logical” but more on “who is emotionally mature”.

The more emotionally mature a man or woman: the greater lines of communication; the more rational relationship behavior is; and the greater opportunity for real intimacy to arise.

A big part of this, is selecting a woman who does not LIVE in “high maintenance drama mode”. This ultimately, will have an impact on the way that you live your life and experience your relationship with any woman.

Part of this, is realizing that no matter how great you think this woman is: she may be using her emotional immaturity and drama to control you. So be aware of it and don’t fall for it.

Hope you guys enjoyed QandA week. Please feel free to write other questions you have below and I’ll answer the most popular ones next month.

Be in touch with you all again soon,

Hot Alpha Female.

P.S. Music by James Holland called “Hot Alpha Female” and you can listen to the full song <here>

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Is it possible that ALL women could hate one word? I would say yes. Yet, it’s a word that women constantly use behind each others back and the real secret is that some women want to act in this manner with their man – behind closed doors.

So, “what is this word?” you ask. Are you ready for it?

Slut.

It’s a word that is probably more hurtful than calling her a bitch BUT “whore” comes in close second. What does a woman experience when this word is associated with her? Probably the same amount of horror you would experience if someone yelled out in a public street, “He has a tiny penis!” and started pointing and laughing at you.

It’s part of the fear of being called this by other women (and men) that causes women to act in specific ways deigned to help build an image of themselves which may be far from the truth. So, it means it can cause her to say one thing and appear to mean the opposite. Because of this word, women feel a need to maintain a certain positive image. Ever wonder what all the jokes are about when a woman has an argument that she is always right? Women feel an enormous pressure to be perfect, which implies being right all the time.

Many women fear that if they do not live up to a specific image, then they might be rejected and labeled as an outcast. This might impact their chances of finding a really good man OR getting help when they need it. This is a fear that runs in the background. It’s part of a basic instinct reaction to survive in a social environment.

So why would women need to feel the need to stay in rapport all the time with people? Let’s pretend that men are generally physically stronger than women. So how are women supposed to have power if men might be physically stronger and bigger? One way is through influence. And, one way to influence someone is by being in rapport with them. Still another way to influence is by having a higher status. One way to have higher status is to be popular. AND one way to be popular is to be socially approved of. By maintaining a certain image, you are more likely to be popular, and therefore be of a higher social status.

So, even though women may on the surface appear to be crazy, there could very well be a rationale behind what they do, whether they know it or not.

Now, how does this apply to you? Alright, when you go on a first date with a woman, she might try to impress you, especially if you are a man who has developed those attractive skills and personality characteristics that I discuss.

If she is trying to impress you, she may not transparently present who she truly is. So, you will have to be very alert to what she does. Stop staring at her boobs. Avoid looking at her lips. Relax. Lean back a bit from time to time AND LOOK at her as she is speaking. Look at her whole face. Watch her hands.

If you know how to read body language, you will know what to look for. How to Read a Person Like a Book was written over 30 years ago, but it is still applicable today. One of the authors, Gerard Nierenberg, has written a number of books over the years. I recommend you get the title listed here. It will give you a competitive edge in all areas of your life if you apply it.

So by reading her body language, you can begin to form some ideas of what she might be trying to hide and what she is wanting to be perceived as. You can begin to understand what image she is trying to create for you. If you see any mismatch in what she says, does, expresses, etc., then you can gently call her out on it.

The other thing is if you believe the image she is trying to project – and she knows it is not entirely true – then she may not respect you as much. By noticing what image she is projecting and calling her out on it, she may not like it at the time you do it – but given time she will more likely appreciate and respect you for it.

Also, you could bring this up as a topic of discussion for her. You can discuss it from different perspectives, such as “what do you do when what you want may not be approved of by your culture” OR “when you want something that your friends might not approve of, what do you do” OR “why do you think conformity is important” OR “if you really want something and you know it will freak your friends out, how do you handle that – if you keep it a secret, how does that affect you inside.” If she is introspective, intellectual, or really smart, she will likely enjoy thinking about this because it will probably challenge her.

Therefore, instead of thinking women are crazy, you can begin to look behind the possible rationale behind their actions. Also, because you know what to look for by reading body language and knowing why she is probably doing what she is doing, she actually might feel more trust, rapport, and attraction for you.

I’ve had my say. What are your thoughts?

Hot Alpha Female

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This video is tackling the question, “Do I have to Lie to a woman to attract her?”

Well, firstly what do you feel a need to lie about to woman? Why would she not be attracted to or turned on by the truth. I would say it’s the fact that people are dishonest today which are killing their chances with women.

Being the truest to yourself and your intentions will blow some women out of the water and attract more women into your life that you can handle all at the same time.

Keep a look out for the next video coming out week answering the question, “Are women less logical than men?”

Please write your comments down below. I would love to know what they are.

If you want more on how to being a man and attracting women <click here>

See you in the next video,

Hot Alpha Female

P.S. Music by James Holland called “Hot Alpha Female” and you can listen to the full song <here> 

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