Chronicling Krakow

Learning Polish in Krakow

2009-07-22T02:19:00.001-04:00

Hello friends -

A belated greeting from Krakow! I haven't emailed yet partially since I have pretty killer jetlag (it's getting better), and partially because, as of yet, there seems to be relatively little to report. On Friday, Jim flew into Pittsburgh, and we drove to Jersey right after my graduation ceremony.

We got in at midnight, had a drink and caught up with Brooke, and in the morning took most of my worldly possessions back into the house, stuffed everything else into a suitcase and a messenger bag, and headed into the city for a quick all-you-can-drink champaigne brunch with Selda, Sarah Medway, and Lisa before heading to my flight, which left JFK at 6 pm.

Flying was uneventful, except that I started and finished Water for Elephants (pretty good, quick read). I arrived in Krakow, found my apartment (more about that in a moment), and met up with the rest of the folks in the program for dinner at a Milk Bar (authentic Polish food at inexpensive prices. Kind of like their Denny's, but good for you).

Our apartment is in a really perfect area of town - right off of the old town square, about a five minute walk from the street culture, quasi-touristy, really vibrant area. You can eat dinner on the square for about $5 a night (or $15 if you prefer the fancy food), so we've been sticking pretty cloe to our area - but today I think we're going to venture out.

I live in this apartment with four other women from the Pitt program - three of them go to Pitt, and the fourth is from Smith College. The apartment is huge, but oddly spaced, with a three-person bedroom, a single room, and a couch in the living room, where I sleep. It's pretty interesting living with this many people/women, but so far so good =)

We have school from 9:30 to 2 each day, which is a pretty good mixture of review and new material. In the afternoon there are always actiivities, which I've slept out the past few days, but today I think I'm going to venture to Nowy Hud, the old steelworks, with the folks from the program. This weekend we're going to Warsaw for a few days, and then back to the school!

So, there's nothing much to report so far. I do Polish, I am reading Love in the Time of Cholera, and I watch about half an episode of Twin Peaks a night before I go to sleep. There is only very spotty internet in the house, but we have a phone, which can receive calls but not make them, so if you miss me I can pass along the phone number.

I'll update every once in a while as things become interesting. Until then, I am alive and well and living Krakow for the next few weeks!

Jim Baker Draws The World...

2009-02-04T00:01:00.006-05:00

...imaginary city block by imaginary city block. Scans of my recent artistic obsession, the Automatic City. Prime for the referential aegis of WikiMapia? Indubitably!

Kellie's helpful blogging hints =)

2009-02-03T22:05:00.001-05:00

Hey guys - welcome to the blog formerly known as House of Nerds, afka Stuck in Maryland. Since neither of those names apply any more, you're welcome to suggest others as you see fit.

A few comments to make your blogging experience more enjoyable. Most people should have authoring privledges. If you don't, shoot me an email, and I'll add you. When you want to write a new post, click on "New Post" in the upper right hand corner of the blog. You'll see a window, with this written in it:

Highlight this text, delete, and then type the first part here
**
Highlight this text, delete, then type the rest of your post here. Leave the stuff in < >s alone!!!
**

All the nifty little code does is hide the rest of your post so that people can see it when they click "read more." Leave everything in brackets alone, Delet the text telling you what to do, and type over it. If it's confusing, I can fix it for you.

Also, Jim posted his Automatic City, and you should feel free to do the same - post anything you want to the blog! Joey, where are you writing these days?

Cheers,
Kel

Jim's Top of the 'OOwes

2009-02-03T21:55:00.016-05:00

Jim's Top Rekkids of the Aughts

A working list (trying to pare this down to twenty):

1. Lily Allen - "Alright, Still"
2. Guided By Voices - "Universal Truths and Cycles"
3. Wire - "Send"
4. Ween - "Quebec"
5. Animal Collective - "Here Comes the Indian"
6. Fanfare Savale - "S/T"
7. Beatles - "Love"
8. Evolution Control Committee - "Plagiarhythm Nation vol. 2.0"
9. Esau Mwamwaya + Radioclit - "Are the Very Best"
10. EL-P - "Fantastic Damage"
11. The New Pornographers - "Mass Romantic"
12. Bjork - "Medulla"
13. Boredoms - "Seadrum / House of Sun"
14. "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" (film soundtrack)
15. CCC - "Cracked Pepper"
16. Petra Haden - "The Who Sell Out"

17. Matmos - "The Civil War"
18. MIA - "Arular"
19. Queens of the Stone Age - "Songs for the Deaf"
20. Outkast - "Stankonia"
21. McClusky - "Do Dallas"
22. Bob Ostertag -"Say No More 1-4"
23. Lightning Bolt - "Hypermagic Mountain"
24. 54-71 - "All Songs Composed and Written By"
25. Lifelover - "Erotik"
26. El Perro del Mar - "S/T"
27. Clinic - "Walking With Thee"

28. Ben Folds - "Rockin' the Suburbs"

29. The Fall - "Real New Fall LP"
30. Michael Dracula - "In The Red"
31. Fischerspooner - "#1"
32. Flaming Lips - "Yoshimi..."
33. V/A - "Run the Road"
34. Air - "Talkie Walkie"

Top Ten of the aughts

2009-02-03T21:26:00.001-05:00

Here ya go, kids -

It's 2009 and we're going to figure out on our own the top 10 pop/rock/hiphop (ie nearly everything except the weird shit david listens to) albums of the decade. Jerry and I fully expect this conversation to rage the entire year. Feel free to include others. At some point we may need to transfer to a different forum. Suggestions thus far are:

Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Kanye West: College Dropout
Jay Z: Black Album
Jay Z: The Blue Print
DJ Danger Mouse: the Grey Album
Modest Mouse: The Moon and Antartica
Arcade Fire: Funeral
Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Radiohead: Kid A
White Stripes: Elephant

What else? Which Jay Z? Etc..

Alanis Morrissette's Jagged Little Pill. - DMA
The Shins - Oh, Inverted World. - TC
over chutes too narrow - TC

Wake Up Sleepy Blog...

2008-11-03T13:16:00.002-05:00

Hello Friends,
Where have you gone? Are we trying to get kicked out of the blogosphere? Do we not enjoy posting anymore? Do we have nothing interesting to talk about? Please prove me wrong.
Hugs and Kisses,
Dorki

Because you kiss me in your sleep...

2008-08-04T15:03:00.003-04:00

Tragic news came to me today,
Heartbreaking, confusing, cold morning news.
And you were there,
Without asking, you were there.
You show up, always,
Support, always,
Love, always.
Kind, strong, selfless, and true,
You are a better person than me.
Your love brings tears to my eyes,
Tears I don’t deserve,
Love I’ve always dreamed of.
You are more,
You are so much more.
Ana bahebic ya habibi, ana bahebic.

House Bill 69

2008-08-01T09:15:00.003-04:00

In light of recent events, I am proposing a Constitutional Amendment to the House of Nerds blog. It seems to me that the name of the blog "Stuck in Maryland" is no longer entirely accurate to certain bloggers who frequent this site. In stark contrast with my strictly conservative traditionalist views, I would like to suggest that the name be changed to fit the rapidly changing social climate of America.

As we all know, many subscribers to the "Stuck in Maryland" blog have tried desperately to escape the state in which they live. I have investigated this phenomenon extensively to determine the ramifications of such desires. As the chairman of the House Committee on Un-Marylandian Activities, I have interviewed literally three people on the issue. My sources tell me that at least two bloggers have escaped the dreadful confines of Maryland and have found refuge in other states. Experts suggest that the real number could possibly be double or even triple that of what has been officially recorded, to account for bloggers who have escaped under the radar for fear of retaliation from what they call "haters." These people should not have to live in fear. They need to know that the American people are on their side. There is hope for them and they needn't fear public outlash at their desire for a better life. The best way we can show our support is by publicly changing the name of our blog to support their new lifestyle.

Yes, our name is tried and true. It is battle-tested and it has survived many a war. It is history. It is tradition. It is our culture. It is our identity. It is strong enough for a man, but pH-balanced just for a woman. But what is in a name? What good is keeping tradition if the very people who helped create the identity of the blog are alienated from it? Let us unite now to show our support of those who have followed their dreams and pursued a better life. Who will stand with me? Who will co-sponsor this bill and dare to put their name on such a public show of support? Who will be so bold? These are you brethren--and sisthren. Do it for those who have stood shoulder to shoulder with you through the blood and the sweat and the tears. Do it for future generations who may one day seek hope for their own situations. Do it for America! What better way to show your patriotism? We will stand together on the floor of the Senate as we sign this bill--freedom fries in hand--and we will forever change the way the American people view Marylandian refugees. This is a new world! God bless you. And God bless...America!

p.s. Suggestions for name change should be submitted in the comments page.

Jim's pictures

2008-07-31T15:22:00.008-04:00

Hey guys! The blog's been dormant for awhile, and Dorki has been begging for some life to be breathed back into it. Luckily, my enormously talented boyfriend has produced some pictures which I think are post-worthy, so I wanted to pass them on to you.

These are from his Revolver collection, based off of the photograph on the back of the Revolver LP. They will be displayed soon in my family's new guitar store - Clancy's Guitar Store!

This last one is a painting of me, which won't be on display in the store =)

So, that's it. Hope all is well in your worlds. Hopefully it's time to start getting some blog posts again!

Love,

me

Quote of the Century

2008-05-21T10:44:00.005-04:00

“When we find ourselves believing that killing a man makes us more of a man, but loving a man makes us less of a man, it’s probably time to reexamine our criteria for manhood.”

So refreshing to hear a straight man say this. Jay Smooth definitely made me smile today. Check out the clip "Who is the Gay Rapper" as well as more of Jay's clever spoken word at http://www.illdoctrine.com/.

Am I a Judgmental Bastard?

2008-04-18T16:03:00.003-04:00

Dearest HON family,
In support of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, my love (Elbows) and I took part in a Jog for Justice. This was a 5K run that raised money and support for the Office of the Victims Advocate on the University of Maryland campus. The purpose of this event was awesome! All proceeds went to the Victim Assistance Fund to help pay for victims' medical needs and mental health appointments. So we were pretty jazzed, because you know I don’t run unless someone is chasing my ass.

Anyways, we got there early, registered, and put on our matching Jog for Justice t-shirts. As we were waiting, Elbows and I took notice of the music blasting through the speakers…actually the phrase “bitches get low” kinda caught my attention. Song after song, I grew increasingly angry. It was all rap, not good rap, no, the “slap your ho, suck my (fill in the blank)” garbage, sexist, misogynistic kind of rap. At first, my optimistic Elbows thought they might be trying to prove a point, as they purposefully skipped over an awesome Matisyahu song. We quickly learned this was not the case, since they played a couple good songs and then returned to the hateful shit. I wanted to scream, “This is a fu*&ing event AGAINST sexual assault! Who the hell is in charge of the music, and why are they here?!?” (I’m getting pissed off just writing this).

Soon, groups of sorority and fraternity kids started arriving at the tent, all wearing shirts and shorts sporting their Greek letters. A couple guys, and even a girl, were all wearing shirts that read “Jungle Jiggle” with a caricature of two girls with bid boobs wrestling (I guess all their other Alpha Delta Asshole shirts were dirty). I don’t know exactly what bothered me the most…the lack of Jog for Justice shirt wearers, the girls shaking their asses to the insulting music, the frat dudes eating all the pizza and bagels, the other frat dudes taking pictures with their frat flag with the parking lot (instead of the Victims Advocate tent) as the backdrop, or the certainty I felt that none of them donated to the cause.

I am certain that the majority of those kids came for the free food, drinks, and socializing. I wouldn't be surprised if some douchenozzle woke his fraternity up by telling them that girls talking about their pu*%ies were gathering by the parking lot with free food. Ok, see, I am being a judgmental bastard, but the whole thing looked like a publicity stunt. Everyone knows that the rate of sexual assault within the Greek system is horribly shocking, and I’m sure there’s a great deal of pressure on these organizations to fix “the problem.” However, I believe they think “the problem” is their image. These kids did not act like they cared about the event; they just wanted to put on their website that they participate in Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it looks good.

I do not like the Greek system, I think they serve no purpose and I think they are dangerous. At one time, I had hope that these were philanthropic organizations where students found friends with similar interests. I do not believe those types of sororities or fraternities exist anymore. I do not understand how countless women have been encourage, and at times threatened, to hide their rape in the best interest of the Greek system. I do not know when this will stop. I wasn't expecting these kids to be as sympathetic to the issues surrounding sexual assault as Elbows and I are. They are young and they don't know anything. I just don't think it's that difficult to donate some money and pretend like you give a shit.

Signing off,
A Judgmental Bastard

Feminists are Funny...all the time!

2008-04-18T13:37:00.006-04:00

This is one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time. Some dumbass sent in hate mail to the feministing blog, from his college email. What happens when you piss off a group of strong women? They look you up and put all your shit, including your asshole myspace picture, on the web for all the lovely readers of feministing to see. Alex Kochno, I'm sure you've made Southern Illinois University very proud.

http://feministing.com/archives/009027.html

This is how we will construct our commune

2008-04-03T12:22:00.002-04:00

A house that defies death, House of Leaves meets Willy Wonka style. Check out the pictures, too.

A Modest Proposal

2008-04-02T14:23:00.001-04:00

From me to Mike Gravel. Mikey, would you live out your (few) remaining days with me? His ads never fail to make me all tingly inside. This is the best Wednesday ever =)

Hee hee.

2008-03-30T11:53:00.002-04:00

Yet more awesome. Nothing cool ever happens to me. I wonder what I would have done.

Also, what's with the comments on this page? Everyone seems really keen on bank interest rates, not the cool part.

For my Lawyer Friends

2008-03-28T11:55:00.002-04:00

Larry H. Parker has nothing on Melanie Berliet! In her compelling defense of Adam and Eve, Berliet claims extortion on the part of, you guessed it, the Almighty. She fights, she claws, she wins!

"Humanity at Large asks not for monetary compensation. They do, however, ask for the right to premarital relations without guilt, or the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, especially herpes. Humanity also posits that the sacrament of marriage be redefined as a union between any two beings wanting to make such a commitment to one another, including alpacas."

Read more at:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/3/27berliet.html

Garfield Minus Garfield

2008-03-24T13:56:00.002-04:00

My new friend Jim sent me this link to a blog called "Garfield Minus Garfield" - it's hysterical. Here's the blurb:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

Jon Arbuckle's life disconcertingly resembles how I spend some of my selfunemployment days...but at least no one's trying to draw me.

Love
me

Ah, the good old days....

2008-03-22T20:44:00.002-04:00

Just thought people might be interested in this.. The relevant line is, of course, "...hedge funds and other speculators, desperate for a hot market in which to play, have been inflating oil prices..."

Hooray Math!

2008-03-21T19:12:00.002-04:00

This is the best thing ever. Maybe it's just me, though (you can get it too).

Quote of the Month

2008-03-12T01:00:00.002-04:00

Mathgimp: I have supreme confidence in the fact that Laura Bush does not give blow jobs.

How NOT to teach English

2008-03-01T00:46:00.002-05:00

I have many things to say to you, faithful HONers who have stuck with us through the good and the bad. I'd like to tell you about my new found desire to dog sled (and still burning desire to trapeze), I'd like to tell you how the Burger King in Marion, North Carolina is the happiest place on earth.

Instead, I'm going to point you in two directions - both too surreal to be fakes - of ways NOT to teach language. The first is a video shown to real Japanese folk, and the second are blocks distributed across China. I have never laughed so hard in my life. My selfunemployed profession is fighting an uphill battle, kids, I'll tell you that.

Oh Canada, Why Canada?

2008-02-25T10:23:00.006-05:00

My dears, if you know me, you are aware of my hunka-hunka burning love for all things Canada. You will then understand the shock and sadness I am experiencing after reading this troubling story. I came across a blog on feministing.com (GREAT website...check out the blurb on Miki Fujiwara's Art for Change, she's rad!) that talked about docs in Canada refusing to perform paps on unmarried women. Currently, these dangerous decisions are backed by a "conscience clause," established by the Canadian Medical Association. The clause protects physicians from making decisions that go against their personal beliefs, giving them the freedom to refuse birth control, abortions, and, I guess, preventative pap smears to anyone. Here's the link to the full story on the Reproductive Health Reality Check website (can someone show me how to replace full websites like the one below with words like "link" or "pap" that take you straight to the story?)...

http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2008/02/06/abnormal-paps-pap-smears-doctors-refusing-canada

Happy Valentines Day

2008-02-14T20:43:00.002-05:00

This is the most perfect 11 minutes on You Tube: it has Molly Ivens (one of my heroes), ample reason to mock Texas law, and lots and lots of sex toys (somewhat SFW). Happy Love Day!

Stripping the blog (sadly, SFW)

2008-02-13T15:33:00.003-05:00

We've had this discussion a few times before, but I wanted to update you on the blog loading speed issue. If you don't care, don't read after the jump.

The blog simply won't load quickly with all of the fancy stuff on it. I've tried a few different things, but the thirty second explanation is that all of the fun things on the blog (the peek-a-boo posts, tabs at the top, comments, delicious, etc.) are hosted on other servers. Every time you try to load the blog, it has to ask all of those computers what to do, which takes a long time. Neither mathgimp nor I can host the applications for lots of reasons. If someone would like to donate server space AND become blog master or mistress, I'll gladly hand over the reins.

Until then, I'm going to systemically strip away features until I decide it loads quickly enough. Today, I got rid of delicious, since it's been inactive lately, and the visitor counter, because I've heard a lot of trackers cause insane slow downs. I have a few other things I'm going to try as time permits.

Anyway, just thought some of you might want to know. Cheers!

In defense of selfunemployment

2008-02-13T15:02:00.005-05:00

Most of you know that I have embraced the world of selfunemployment. My rationale is simple: I don't like working. I do like editing and tutoring. So I will do those things as I wait for all of the graduate schools in the world to reject me (No, I haven't heard back from anywhere yet - I'm just predicting the future. And it's not like if I got into/was rejected from Columbia, the entire universe wouldn't know in about .005 seconds. I swear I'll tell you when I know. It'll happen).

After all of the graduate schools in the world reject me, I will then fulfill my dreams of moving to Estonia, marrying royalty, and living out my days discovering the enchantment of Eastern Europe. Until that time, I figure that between the wonders of Maryland unemployment law and the number of non-native English speakers in this great region of ours, I can get by.

But most of the tutoring and editing I do happen at night, and yet, I'm never bored during the day. Sure, some of my time is spent doing "business" stuff, but really there's a lot of time left over. It boggles my mind that I'm able to fill it. Clearly, I'm not blogging (sorry. I resolve to do better). I'm reading, but not much more than pre-selfunemployment time. My house is certainly not spick and span, as one would think it could be with this much free time.

The answer, my friends, lies in errands. All of a sudden, I'm an errand running machine. Today, for example, my schedule is as follows: wake up (check). make coffee (check). read the news/blogs/internet (check). return business calls (check). And then, viola! It's already 3 pm, and the rest of the day is reserved for "errands" before the evening tutoring. What errands do I have in store for today? Grocery store. Dry cleaning. Get gas. Go to the gym.

Now, I understand that other people do these things as well. Indeed, I did them (sans gym) in the days before selfunemployment. But really, I'm not sure how or when. Every day, I have a list of things that must be accomplished either on the phone or on the interweb or outside my house...and they actually get done now!

I'm admittedly a little concerned that my standard of happiness has sunk to the level where planning out an evening meal, shopping for the ingredients, and then preparing it constitutes a deeply fulfilling day. I've contemplated starting a writing or research project...or trying to watch all film noir movies...or learning how to actually knit. But really, I'm pretty damned content. And I figure that for the first time in my life, I'm well rested, and doing pretty much exactly what I want to do, pretty much every day.

I think I'd actually make a really good housewife. I wouldn't mind there being kids around to play with. I wouldn't mind my life consisting of running errands, reading what I want, volunteering, watching a lot of movies, and making a little bit of money on the side. And if that could happen outside of the Mary Land, so much the better.

In conclusion, we're still calling grad school plan A. But plan B, rapidly moving up in the ranks, is becoming an Estonian housewife. And I'm REALLY excited about that possibility.