In light of that, updates will be sporadic, unpredictable, and ultimately unfulfilling until we come back in late July.

Stay tuned - we have a lot of exciting stuff in store for after the hiatus. If you’re already following us on Twitter or subscribe to the RSS feed, you’ll be the first to know when we’ve returned to the scene.

To tide you over, make sure you’re reading:

• 30THREADS for the best from Triangle area blogs
• Bull City Rising, the very best local news blog, focusing on Durham
• New Raleigh and gogoraleigh, focusing on Raleigh
• and everyone else on our blogroll, down and to the left

Thanks for your support in our first eight months — we’re having a blast, and we can’t wait to get back.

Sure, technically, this is a crime - the barrels weren’t his to repurpose into public art. But come on. COME ON. Who’s the brain scientist that decided this was the best possible way to handle the situation?

[WRAL: N.C. State student accused of creating a 'monster']

UPDATE: The Smoking Gun has Carnevale’s arrest warrant.

[The Smoking Gun: Barrel Monster Bust]

And in theory, in our society, we place our trust in our collective government institutions to help protect the public interest, especially when it’s in the private interest to skate by with the barest of minimums for safety. And in theory, in our state, the public interest of workplace safety falls to the NC Department of Labor, led by Cherie K. Berry.

But in practice, Cherie K. Berry is pretty famous for proudly not doing her job, and being little more than a signature in an elevator. Barry at Dependable Erection lays it out.

(In an unrelated note, the ConAgra plant produced Slim Jims - I feel pretty good about my personal conviction not to eat beef jerky from a factory that can explode and call the Environmental Protection Agency to the scene.)

After the sun goes down, all the screaming kids go back to their own cars, and you forget they exist.

Well, only if you count Henderson as “right up the road.” Still if you need a little hit of nostalgia, or if you’re too young to remember piling into the car for a movie under the stars but want to experience what us old people are talking about, Henderson’s got it for you.

The Raleigh Road Outdoor Theatre is among the 400 or so bonafide drive-in theaters still in operation in our once-proud nation. They play double features of first-run films seven nights a week, and for $5 a person, that’s a bargain to justify the drive.

The picture and sound were 100% acceptable - the projection was sharp and vibrant, and the sound came over our car’s FM radio and sounded great and shook our little VW Bug during the scary parts. We saw Up, and the privacy of our own vehicle made sobbing quietly that much more easy to do.

We were invited to hang around for Night At The Museum 2, but we politely declined.

The atmosphere was everything you could hope for - before the first feature, the kids ran their excess energy out, and then retreated to their families to fall asleep during the first act. Some people stayed in their cars, while others set up camp chairs in front with a boombox to take the soundtrack with them.

The only caveats: they have exactly two toilets in the concession stand, so pit at the BP on the way in and out. And the food looks awful, but they remind you a dozen times that it’s the only way for them to make money and stay in business. So, figure out a compromise compatible with your ethics.

It’s a rednecky throwbacky good time, both earnestly and ironically.  What more do you people want?

Naturally, we did a little digging and got our hands on an early draft of this letter. As you can see, the final version was heavily edited.

June 10, 2009

Dear Students, Faculty and Friends (and by Friends, I mean people who give me things I don’t deserve in exchange for political patronage):

North Carolina State is and will always be a great university as long as you stay far away from the animal husbandry weirdos. It is a retarded special place with an outstanding faculty, staff and wonderful students. In case you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic.

It has been one of the great privileges of my life to work with the brilliant and creative people at NC State. You always made me feel like the smartest person in the room, because I always was. It has been a joy to teach, encourage and help the students. For instance, “take Hillsborough to the Beltline to Wade, then 40 West until you get to a real school.”

I urge all of the North Carolina State family to now focus on the best welfare of the students and be mindful of the great tradition of the university system in North Carolina, or this slip of paper I left that says “How to keep a dummy busy, turn it over.” I will continue to fully support this outstanding institution almost as much as it supports me through the under-the-table payoff you’ll find out about in a few months once this blows over.

Peace, suckas! Most Sincerely,

[signed]

MARY P. “SLEAZELY” EASLEY

But, good news still for her! If you resign, you’re not eligible to collect unemployment benefits, but if your position is eliminated, you go file, and $500 a week is $500 a week. In that light, it’s hard to blame her.

Also, in completely unsurprising news, there are emails linking Mike Easley himself to pimping his wife into this largely imaginary job. We’ll give you a minute to let that sink in.

[N&O: Trustees eliminate Mary Easley's contract]

[WRAL: E-mail: Easley involved in wife's hiring]

Over the weekend, the NC State Board of Trustees met to review the benefits package given to Larry Nielsen, the former NC State provost whose head was among the first to roll. And surprise - the deal cut with Nielsen violated University rules, and Oblinger’s prints were all over it. These academic people suck at grift.

Erskine Bowles better hope and pray he hasn’t picked up his phone or read his email in the past month or two. And naturally, with the school facing the prospects of massive budget cuts, this is an outstanding time to be rudderless in the stream.

[N&O: N.C. State chancellor resigns]

But not today, as a House panel voted to eliminate the NC State Millennium Speaker series, saving the state $105,000 (score!) and eliminating a good chunk of what Mary Easley is paid $170,000 to do.

Wait — we’re paying someone $170,000 to manage a $105,000 budget? That’s craaaaaazy! This woman should be under extreme rhetorical attack!

[N&O: Panel votes to limit funds for Easley's job]

So yes, since no further cuts are conscionable, it’ll be more taxes instead. Alcohol and tobacco, that’s easy and expedient enough, but other taxes are not being “ruled out.”

[N&O: Governor says tax hike might be needed]

Fortunately for you, Raleigh-based comedian and friend of the blog Greg Brainos has “fail-proof” resume tips to land you one of the three available jobs in the entire economy. You can’t go wrong with tips like:

Picture of a cat. Fact, all resumes are screened by HR women with realtor haircuts.  Fact, these women love cats.  Given those facts, why not slap a picture of a cat on the resume and earn some extra points?  The pictured cat doesn’t have to be wearing pajamas, but that certainly doesn’t hurt.

Thank you, Greg. We’ll start spending our hot new salary immediately.

We demand SWIFT JUSTICE to make an example of these punks. How about we strap them in on the museum’s train, and let them take that sharp curve at 50 mph, just to see what happens.

[H-S: Dinosaur head recovered; perpetrators identified] (reg req)

“An act like this is just heinous,” said Mike Shiflett, a resident of the nearby Northgate Park neighborhood.

Museum officials were also devatsated.

“We’re very sad,” said museum vice president Julie Ketner Rigby.

See?  Sad.  You can almost feel the deep pain through your computer screen.

The question remains, “who on earth would do such a thing?”  I think the answer lies in what happens next.  If pieces of the statue continue to go missing, I believe you can blame it all on religious fundamentalists who think that removing all dinosaur exhibits will show people that the world is merely 6,000 years old,  dinosaurs never existed, and the fossils are just God’s way of testing our faith.

If nothing else goes missing, it was probably some kids that thought they could make a wicked bong out of it.

[The Durham News: Vandals steal Museum dinosaur head]

Walk into U.S. Sen. Richard Burr’s office, and you’ll notice the framed tobacco leaves on the wall. Sit down for a chat, and he’s likely to tuck a pinch of dip under his lip before settling into his favorite chair, spit cup at his side.

Ah, the majesty our elected officials.  I can just see him in a closed-door meeting with high ranking officials, their respect needed for his voice to be heard on the issues that shape this country’s direction, and pausing to hold a Styrofoam cup up to his chin and spit before making his point to add emphasis.

But hey, he’s got an unlikely friend in our Democratic Senator Kay Hagan, who also opposes the move but seems less afraid of some debate.  The two are planning to submit a counter-proposal that sets up an agency that isn’t the FDA to regulate tobacco.

Creating a new agency at a time where the country is screaming for budget cuts to protect an industry who’s biggest fans and customers still understand is more than a little shady probably won’t go over well, but at least Burr and Hagan can discover a newfound admiration and respect for one another.  Until we move onto the next issue.

[N&O: Burr stands tall for tobacco]

[N&O: Hagan speaks against FDA bill]