How Is Bradley?

Rain, rain, rain

2012-01-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

Rainy Days And Mondays always get me down. It is so difficult to stay awake on a day like this. Even worse, if I do stay awake I end up eating practically everything in the house.

Melting Away

2012-01-21T18:37:00.000-08:00

Great news when I got weighed at Weight Watchers this moring. Since last week I lost over 3 pounds for a grand total of 35 pounds. It's been a good day.

Well, I'm Trying to Keep my Promise

2012-01-19T14:03:00.000-08:00

In my recent post I stated I was going to post something every day in hopes that my old blogging skills will revive. Unfortunately I haven't stayed true to that promise I made myself. Things aren't really going that bad for me, I just have lost my blogging mojo. I swore a couple of times that I was going to quit altogether, but returned with the support of some of my regulars and from my family.

So, do I have anything to say? Well, yes. I have lost over 20 pounds from going to Weight Watchers and exercising (I haven't been exercising this week so I'll hang my head in shame).

Any Gleeks out there? I admit it's this 48 year old man's guilty please. If you are and you watched Tuesday nights episode, what did you think? There were so many things wrong with the episode, however it's one of my all time favorites. If you can look past the major holes that a truck could drive through, then you probably had a great time.

Another Day....Another Post

2012-01-12T17:01:00.000-08:00

Oops! I forgot to make a post yesterday.

The past couple of days have been extremely difficult for me. For some reason I want to eat everything in the house. I could easily pull up a chair to an open refrigerator and dig in. Sweets are the worse for me right now. It's been a real struggle that I hope I can continue to overcome.

I've been feeling kind of low lately, also. I'm sure the two are connected.

The Holidays

2012-01-10T18:10:00.000-08:00

I've been very pleased with my weight loss. Just over the holidays I lost 3 pounds! 3 pounds may not seem like much, but the average American gains 15 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years. I was hoping to just stay steady, so I'm extremely happy that I even lost a little.

Ignore what I just said.

2012-01-09T12:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay. Friends and family have convinced me not to shut down this blog. I've agreed to post every day even if it's just one short sentence. Keep up with that and hopefully I'll be back to my old blogging skills real soon.

So here I am again. This is my post for today. Look forward to many new postings starting with tomorrow.

This Probably It

2011-12-27T17:23:00.000-08:00

I think it's time to shut my blog down. I hope it won't be permament, but I have no idea. For now I have found it extremely difficult to post on a regular basis. Is this forever? Forever is a long time, but I do not plan on keeping it updated (at least for now)

Thank you for all the support I've received from friends and fellow bloggers.

Things not so good in my brain right now.

2011-12-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

I just wrote a post that gave a good update regarding my life. Somehow an accidental click somewhere and it was all gone. I've never had that happen.

Anyway, I'll just say that I'm full of anxiety and depression. Most of it was about not being able to see my daughter because of my lack of funds. There were many other things that I brought up too. So, I simply was expressing that I am so consumed by depression right now that I don't have the energy to write it all over again. This is the deepest and darkest hole that I've been in for some time.

I pray that it passes quickly.

I'm Not Going Anywhere

2011-11-23T13:07:00.000-08:00

I know my posts are kind of sporatic these days, but I'm still here. I have A LOT to share, but still having difficulties putting it down on Paper (virtual paper that is). I'll just keep plugging away at it as best I can.

Happy Thanksgiving! Nomatter where you are, we all have something to be grateful for.

Another Day....

2011-11-17T20:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I thought I was going to be able to post more today, but it looks like it's not going to happen. I've had so many updates on how Bradley is these days, but I just can't put them all into words for now. Too much going on and too depressed to express any of it.

Looks like I'm going to have to chat a little longer with my pdoc then normal. Obviously one, or some, of my meds is coming down on me.

I'm Still Here

2011-11-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't forgotten that it's been about a week since I've made my last post. My head has been spinning out of control this past week that I can't sit down for more than a couple of minutes. Tune in tomorrow and I expect I'll be able to give a quick rundown. Hope my depression goes away so that I can get things done.

Hypomania is Back

2011-11-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

I've been down about the fact that I'm not receiving comments these days. It's really ridiculous because I abandoned my blog for nearly two years. It took awhile to build up a base of readers at that time, and I shouldn't consider this to be any different. My feelings get hurt too easily. It reminds me of a birthday I had a few years ago. Not a single person called me to wish me a happy birthday. It hurt so bad that no one called. Funny thing is that I knew that my phone was disconnected at the time, yet I was hurt and pissed me off.

The past two days were bad for me emotionally because I was hypomanic. Simply put, hypomania is when you are depressed and manic at the same time. It is not fun. The mania keeps me busy doing things, yet the depressive side keeps me from completing anything. I was able to search out a post in which I described hypomania a bit more. I couldn't find the one I wanted but here's one that goes into it just a little bit more: Hypomania

How's the diet going? Well, you won't believe this, but it's going too well. As most of you probably know, Weight Watchers uses a point system. There is a simple formula that determines how many points you can eat. For example, my usual bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and Vanilla Almond milk is 6 points. There's also a simple formula to determine how much you are allowed to eat each day. My total is 54 points. This is considered a pretty high number, and I should be ecstatic. The problem is that I'm barely able to reach that goal. It seems to high. When I am able to reach the daily goal, I am absolutely stuffed.

Yesterday I had to eat two separate breakfasts and two separate lunches to help me reach my daily goal. I ended the day with 1 point left, but it was a challenge. Once I lose 5% of my weight goal, I will do the formula again and my total daily points will go down. How crazy is it that I'm excited that I'll be able to eat less each day.

I'm taking a class provided by the Senior Pastor at my church, Reverend John. It's a class on religious history. It's a great class, but there's a lot of reading requirements. Time for me to head off and finish our current reading assignment....and don't forget to leave me a comment when you go.

Depression is Back Again.

2011-11-07T17:27:00.000-08:00

Meh, pretty much describes my day today. My pdoc and I have found a pretty good drug coctail that helps keep me in balance. You'd think that I would have learned by now is that being on the meds doesn't mean I'll never be depressed or manic again. The days that I seem perfectly balanced are wonderful, so it catches me off guard when a depressive day happens, like today. It makes it very easy to have your own little pity party. I'm having one now. That's why it's going to be a pretty short posting today.

Maurice joined me and bought a monthly pass for Weight Watchers. After our meeting on Saturday he was totally stoked and raring to go. It was fun and a relief to see him so excited. So we've begun that journey and there will be plenty more to talk about later.

Frustration

2011-11-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

I have friends who talk about how awful their pdocs (psychiatrist) are. They claim their pdoc never listens to what they say, and won't make any med changes even when asked. It feels, at times, they are talking about Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. I always felt lucky. The pdoc I first worked with, Doctor Lisa, would spend a full hour with me every visit. A large part of this was spent going through the various drug options for me. We would read the descriptions together and then select one that we both thought sounded good. It felt good to be part of a team rather than having presciptions thrown at me. We had a great relationship and laughed a lot.

When it comes to psych meds, what works for one person, may not work for another. In some cases it's a guessing game. If you are given a prescription for a med that doesn't work for you, then it can be a long process to wean you off that med so that you can slowly be weaned on another. That's why there are so many different psych meds out there. It took over a year for Dr. Lisa and I to come up with a good mix of drugs that worked for me. Currently I only take 6 meds a day. It was not long ago that it was nearly double that.

Unfortunately, for me, there was a sad, sad day. Dr. Lisa finished her residency and moved away. She had hoped to stay on as part of the regular staff, but with all the cutbacks it didn't happen. Now she is attending college again because she wants to be trained on working with children. I don't know why that would be necessary since I was her patient, but apparently you have to get a piece of paper that you frame on a wall. Oh well.

When Dr. Lisa left, I was placed to work with her boss (trainer?), I don't know what you call it, let's just say it was a different person than Dr. Lisa. He was more like the old style, psychiatrist. At first spent a little extra time getting to know each other and discuss my history. I thought the mountain of paper on his desk from Dr. Lisa said all there needed to be said, but apparently not.

Slowly, without my realizing, the time I spent with Dr. Goldstein was becoming less and less. At first we met every other week. Today I realized we're only meeting once a month. I don't recall when that occured, but it's been awhile for it to click in my brain.

Today I had an appointment with him at 10am. On my calender I marked that it would be an hour long. I wasn't with Dr. Lisa anymore, so I knew it wouldn't be a full hour, but I expected we'd spend a little bit of time together. I figured we'd meet meet for 30 minutes at most, but I wouldn't expect to be any less than 15 minutes. My appointment lasted exactly 7 minutes.

When we got to his office he asked how things were going. I told him that I thought I was still depressed a lot more than I had hoped I'd be by now. I also told him that I memory loss is still very bad and that I get disoriented easily. He nodded his head a few times, stroked his beard and said, "I am going to leave all your meds the same." I was dumbfounded. Did he not hear a word I said?
Then I asked if he would make me a prescription for a diuretic because the meds are making me retain a lot of water. He simply said "No. They flush too much out of your system along with the water."

And that was it. We were done. After our 7 minutes together I left to catch the bus. Los Angeles is not well known for it's mass transit system. In fact, it's terrible. I had to wait 45 minutes for the next bus. A 1 hour ride home, for a 7 minute appointment with my pdoc, and nothing was changed! I'm wondering if we should just do our sessions on the phone now from now on. I like the guy, so I have no plans to change pdocs, but I now realize what all my friends are talking about.

I miss you, Dr. Lisa.

Weight Watchers....Back Again

2011-11-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

I took a big step last year. Actually a giant step.  I joined Weight Watchers. I was excited. I knew I was going to be the perfect little weight watcher you ever did see. I just new that I would be able to get down to at lease 200 lbs by the years end. I was going to conquer against the fat within me. I was going to be a champion.

The first couple of weeks on the Weight Watchers plan I logged every little piece of food I ate.  The program was working great for me. I lost a bit of weight and could see myself dwindling down to nothing in a very short time. Then, for some reason I stopped tracking my meals and began doing it in my head. That doesn't work, or it was not going to work for me.  As Pooh says, "I'm a bear of little brain."   I've been having monthly passes automatically deducted from my bank account, but was not doing the things I was suppose to be doing. Anyone who knows me will know that this is no big surprise.

I kept going back from time to time, but definitely not enough and my weight went up instead of down. Being the self-centered individual that I am, I blamed Weight Watchers. They were the ones who were suppose to help me lose weight. It didn't matter that I never went in for my weekly weigh ins or attended any meetings, it was still THEIR fault!

So, now I'm going back again. When I decided not to go through with the gastric bypass surgery, I new I had to find a good alternitive. I was getting my monthly cards from weight watchers, so that seemed like a good place to start.  They better get it right this time. Even though all tests show that I am in very good health, I still worry about killing myself by not losing weight. I don't want this plan to work for me. I realize that I have to work the plan. That's something I really didn't get before.

Maurice to the rescue! Maurice had a bad feeling about the bypass surgery from the beginning. When I told him that I would continue to act "as if" and try to lose the first 35lbs on my own, I could see the relief on his face. 35 lbs is what the surgeon wants me to lose before he could do the surgery. As I said before, if I could lose 35 lbs, why the hell would I need the surgery anyway. Maurice knew I wanted help so he agreed to join Weight Watchers with me so that he could understand the program. This is especially important since Maurice does all the cooking in our household. His family is Creole, so it's no surprise that our meals are more about taste then healthy. Hopefully with the two of us working together we can get the ball rolling. He could lose a pound or two himself. Sorry Hun, it's true, but you know I luvs ya.

Glee, Glee, Glee.....God Help Me!

2011-11-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

I was a pretty lazy kid. Every day after school I'd set my ass in front of the telly and watch reruns, such as the iconic Gilligan's Island. Other kids were outside playing ball while I spent the many hours in our living room with my "friends" on Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Partridge Family. Sadly, as I continued to be a couch potato, I continued to look like a potato.

When I was in the 5th grade we had a nurse come in one day and weighed us. I can't remember why, but I'm guessing it must have been part of some physical or something. I was terrified as I approached the scale. I felt like I was stepping into the jaws of a mighty beast. I weighed 175 lbs. What happened was what I expected to happen - The nurse didn't talk softly and almost immediately I could hear the kids out in the hall talking about and laughing about my weight. This was one of the most humiliating times of my life.

With time, as I grew up (or should I say grew older), I reached a point that I had no interest in television at all. It bored me. I didn't want to be it's slave. I was lucky enough that when I first moved to my own home, I did not have a television. I read, read, and read some more. As time passed I finally bought one, which I primarily used to watch movies on VHS (kids, ask your parents what a VHS is).

Oh, I did get out from time to time. My friends and I would bike around the neighborhood and sometimes we'd bike all the way downtown to the Ready Theater in hopes that there was another Godzilla or Planet of the Apes movie that was out. Sure I was getting some exercise, but apparently not enough.

Over the years I tried to stay away from the tube as much as I could. That was until I happened upon a series called "St. Elsewhere". It ran a few years before I happened to see it and was immediately drawn to it. I loved the stories, the characters, etc. It grasped hold of me and wouldn't let me go. Each week I had to watch it. If I was going out with friends we either had to go do something before, or something after St Elsewhere was on. I became it's slave. It's prized bitch.

Once St. Elsewhere was cancelled, I swore I would never allow myself to be a slave to any television show. It worked most of the time. I resigned myself to watching shows like Law and Order, or one of the CSI shows. Sure the characters had individual story lines, but they are shows that I can easily just focus on the crime and them resolving it within an hour. I only watched the shows occasionally which is the way I liked it.

But all that has changed now....I am totally obsessed with Glee. Two young ladies at my church were chatting about it. They were talking about how much they liked this character or that character. They talked about the story lines. They discussed the music. I was mesmerized by the excitement and energy they were showing towards the show. I decided that I should take a look at this and see what all the hub-bub was about. Big Mistake!!!

I am obsessed with everything about Glee. The music is fun. The dance steps are also. The characters are all likable even though you'll have a love/hate thing with some of them.
I have watched some episodes many, many times. I am linked to some of their Facebook pages, and I play their music when I wear my earplugs anywhere. I was never this obsessed about St. Elsewhere.
I'm one of those people who never wants to hear anything about a movie before I've seen it. That's the way it should be with Glee, but it's not. I look at the Glee Blogs everyday searching for spoilers to tell me what is going to happen in upcoming episodes.

How am I going to break this habit? I'm not sure I want to. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. It's only one hour a week (not counting all the Glee blogs I read, etc.) . Is it conducive to losing weight? No, not at all, even though it makes me feel like I want to dance. So, I'm not going to blame a tv show for making me gain or sustain my current weight. Not this time, I mean, what about the other 23 hours in my day?

I think I'm ok about this. If not, I may have to go find a Glee twelve step program because I know there is no way for me to break away from this on my own.

I'm sure there's plenty more I will share about this. Right now, it's time to get dinner started.

More On Occupy Torrance

2011-10-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

We had a great turn out today at Occupy Torrance. The press was there and got a lot of interviews.
Two cars gave us the finger, one guy yelled "Fuck you!" out of his car window. Then an asshole threw a tennis ball extremely hard which ended up hitting a little boy. These were all overshadowed by the cars honking their horns. It was virtually non stop.

I guess if we're making some people pissed off. It means we're doing our job.

The Beginning is near!

Occupy Torrance

2011-10-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

I've got to get ready soon so I can join the "Occupy Torrance." group at 3pm. We're located between Los Angeles and Long Beach.

We may be small but we're scrappy.

I've said before that I try not to post anything to do with politics because that's not what my blog is about, but occassionaly I sprinkle a little bit of it here. I believe things have gotten so out of control in our country that everyone should post something about it. Get out and join the 99% wherever you are.

Gastric Bypass Surgery

2011-10-25T11:54:00.000-07:00

Well, the decison has been made -- I'm not going to have the surgery(for now). Those damn things are expensive. The entire process takes about 6 months, but they nickle and dime you all along the way. I was naive to think that all the prep work that has to be done would be totaled in one neat all inclusive package after the surgery was done. Nope that's not how it works.

Before surgery I'd have to meet with their psychiatrist. Next I'd meet with their Nutritionist. Both of these are not covered by my insurance. Then there's the tests that need to be done that most likely will not be covered by my insurance. At the very least they'll have co-pays, and paying co-pays on all the tests would cost more than the entire Gross Nation Product of all third world countries combined. Here's a few for examples:

sleep study, ultrasound, upper GI, chest x-rays, EKG, etc.

Some of the many tests that I'm suppose to have, I don't even know how to pronounce them, much less ever heard of them:

LDH, Ferritin, Hgb A1C, C-Reactive Protein, CBC, Chem 20, PT, PTT, H Pylori Antibody, LE Venous Ulitz.

The lists above are the Reader's Digest version. The total number of tests is astronomical. There's also the issue of cutting out a huge piece of my stomach and retaching my intestines back to my smaller stomach which gives me the willies.

I still need a way to shed my weight and Maurice could loose a few pounds. He's gained here and there since we've gotten married, which apparently happens most of the time. Since I'm required to lose 35 pounds before the surgery anyway, we decided to give Weight Watchers a try. I've been on Weight Watchers for over a year now, but haven't lost any weight. In fact, I've gained since I started. It's no reflection on them since I'm the one who did not follow their program. Maurice is a great cook, however, most of his family are from Louisana. Eating creole is not part of ANYONES diet plans.

Maurice told me that he'd like us to go to Weight Watchers together. Then he'll understand the points system, etc. We agreed. Once I lose 35 pounds I can revisit the surgery idea, but most likely I'll decide against it. So now we'll both understand serving sizes, points values, exercise incentives. Blah, Blah, Blah

We hope to go this week, but both of us have a lot going on. The first chance we can go, we will. And so a new journey begins.

It's Been That Long? Wow!

2011-10-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at the years that I made posts. (It's located towards the bottom on the right). I was shocked to see that I haven't really been active in my blog since 2008. I didn't realize it had been that long. I feel honored that so many people have emailed me and asked me to get back into blogging.

I feel a love for it again. I feel the energy. I'm excited. I make no guarantees regarding how long it will last, but I hope it continues for a long, long time. Like Sally Fields said, "You love me, you really love me."

I'm really questioning why it took this long. It doesn't make sense since I love to talk about myself so much. I'm my favorite subject.

Where Do I Begin?

2011-10-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's been such a while, I have so much going on that It's hard to decide where to start:

First: My bipolar is more under control, but still not where I'd like it to be. I still have manic days and depressive days, but the pendulum doesn't swing towards manic as much as it use too. Despite the fact that mania is not really fun mania, I do miss it. I still have depressive days and they affect me most. When they come I don't want to do anything. I just want to stay in bed all day, not bathe and keep the shutters closed. That sounds like a nice Saturday morning on a cold, wet day, but not as fun.

Second: My short term memory really sucks. If I carry on a conversation with someone today, it's possible that I won't remember any of it tomorrow. Movies are a good way to measure my progress. Maurice and I have gone to see Transformers 3, three times, and I still can't tell you anything about it. One night we were watching one of the Bourne movies at the theater. The fast action was too much for me to handle so I stepped outside to the bathroom. When my business was done I couldn't figure where to go and which theater we were in. I wound up sitting on a bench and covered my eyes so people wouldn't know I was crying. I eventually found my way back. The best part of this is that every time I go to a movie or watch a show on tv, it's like seeing it for the very first time.

Third: My weight. I went to my GP and he was surprised that tests showed me in near perfect health. My blood pressure was good, I showed no signs whatsoever of being diabetic, etc. Needless, to say, however, he's concerned about my weight. Being 295lbs, I don't blame him. He referred me to a physician to explain and persuade me to get a gastric bypass. Maurice is concerned about it. The one concern I do have is we have no idea what my insurance covers and what it doesn't. It's a really long process to do this and I have lots of stuff I have to do to prepare. I have to see their psychiatrist, their nutritionist, attend a couple of support meetings, and have a lot of tests as well. Should I go with it, the entire process takes about 6 months before I would go into surgery. More on that to come...

My GP explained that since I'm 48 now, and my bipolar meds have pretty much whiped out my metabolism, that he thinks I have no other option.

Am I going to have it done? Not sure. One of the requirements I must do within the next 6 months is to lose 35 lbs. Now wait a minute. I'm being told that the surgery is necessary because I can't lose weight, however I'm suppose to lose over 30 pounds. Okay, okay, the surgery has more to do with keeping the weight off, as well as losing weight, but come on...

My post seems kind of sad and dry more than I usually like. I'm a bit rusty. I'll be back in action after a few more posts.

It's Time to Get Back Now!!!!!!!!

2011-10-02T02:31:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the Blogosphere when I stumbled on Psych Centerals list of favorite blogs in 2008. I was very proud to be one of the winners. I am still struggling with the meds and definately my weight. I'm here and I'm back (please don't count the number of times I said that). I'm ready to get back because my doctor has worked with me and is discussing surgical ways of reducing my weight. It's still very early in the process, but I plan to walk you all through my experiences.

I want to be one of the winners in 2012. That would make me very happy.

A lot more details to discuss but it's 2:30 am and I have GOT to go to bed.

I feel like I have my mojo back and can't wait to get back in action again.

OMG! He's actuallty posted on his Blog!

2011-06-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

When I began this blog about 3 years ago I chose to interview myself as a quick way for people to know about me. Since I've gone so long without posting, I figure that I will do the same again:

Do you have a nick-name? Kinda. My name is Brad. Just Brad. However, once I get to know someone well, it seems they automatically call me Bradley. Hence, the name of this blog.

Marital Status: I'm married to one of the most wonderful man I have ever met. I love you, Maurice.

Children: I have a beautiful 14 y/o daughter who lives with her mom in the Midwest.

Political: Very Liberal Democrat.

Religious Affiliation: I am Buddhist, and a Unitarian Universalist. Currenly I've gone back to college to major in Master of Divinity. After that I will be a Unitarian Minister.

Any Piercings: Just my two ears. I am not a fan of piercings on the rest of the body.

Tattoos: I hate them. The human body is beautiful, why cover it with tats.

Greatest Regret: Not having spent more time with my daughter.

Pro Life or Pro Choice: It's not my place to tell a woman what she can or can't do to her own body.

Opinon on Death Penalty: An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.

Number of Siblings: There was a total of 7 kids in our house.

What if I won a Million Dollars: The first thing I'd do is buy a house for my ex wife and my daughter.

Favorite TV shows: I watch very little television, but I do like Glee, Wipe Out and Ru Paul's Drag Race.

Favorite Movies: Breakfast at Tiffany's, Network, Blazing Saddles, Rear Window, Pulp Fiction

Favorite Books: I love reading and there are several that I love, but I'm blanking on their names right now. Grapes of Wrath is one of them

Why Have I been on disability for 5 years: I'll post the entire tale later, but here's a quickie version:
Started with Seizures, which led to agorophobia and depression. It was determined that I was bi-polar and began receiving drugs. LOTS of drugs. They never know for sure which drugs with each person, so most end up starting a drug, quit that drug, starting a drug, quitting that drug. It takes a long amount of time (sometimes a year or more) to find the drug cocktail that is right for one individual. I still have manic and very low depression spells now so I guess I should be happy. I am still dealing with depth perception and falling alot. I'm not allowed to drive or even ride a bike, so it's taking the bus everywhere I need to go.

Where do you live: I live in Los Angeles County in the city of Lomita.

Thats pretty much all there is to say for right now. I hope I get all my readers to come back, they were a great bunch. I also hope to get more readers in the process.

Glasses

2010-05-16T16:46:00.000-07:00

I rarely if ever use spell check when I type. This includes my blog. Looking back at my previous posts I think it's time to finally time to get use spell checker. Some of my old posts are so bad that I can barely read them.

A typical day.

2010-05-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

I use to watch televison. I just didn't enjoy it so Maurice and I had cablevision removed because it was a waste of money for us. I didn't expect any changes in my habits to change, but I am now turning into a tv junkie. Here's my typical day:

Early morning: A flip around to various news stations and also some Jerry Springer.
9am - Let's make a Deal with Wayne Brady
10am - The Price is Right with Drew Carey
11am - Two episodes of the Beverly Hillibies
12 - Two episodes of I Dream of Jeanie
13- Two episodes of Bewitched

Those are just my mornings, the list continues on and on.

With all the other things going on, I hate that I'm stuck in a rut. It's actually quite comfortable having a consistant day, however I feel like a slob sitting around all day.

What do you know, I am going to get out today. I have a doctors appointment in about an hour. Woo Hoo! I get to frolic in the outdoors for a bit.