I almost forgot to tell you about these, which is absurd because they are terrific.

These seriously taste like pizza, but in a mushroom. Clearly.

And they taste even MORE like pizza if you like mushrooms ON your pizza. That’s just how it works here. Bizarre, I know.

And could they BE any funner? Yes, it’s totally a word. Get on board.

You can find the recipe from Lauren riiiiight here on Tasty Kitchen. Do it. And drink a bourbon milkshake too! You know you want to.

Seriously.

And the only reason I’m saying that is because I had an almost actual heart attack last night while watching Grey’s Anatomy, another show I’m not so invested in until the season finale rolls around, and really, I think I almost died. I mean, I’m serious. I had phantom pain. Or something. I just kept talking to my husband like they were people in the universe, like this was true life non-MTV division, and just completely and utterly like… losing my mind. I mean… oh.mah.gah. I have heart palpitations just thinking about it. And all he could say to comfort me was that “they should just bring Izzie back, because you know she saved that stupid deer once so I’m sure she could save everyone here.” Whatever. I’m not throwing stones.

Needless to say I had a straight up meltdown and felt anxiety all day leading up to the episode and cannot stop considering this one minor detail: the life I need to get. Also, I sort of feel like I could do all sorts of surgeries on myself in the wilderness now if needed. Because I’m not a doctor but I watch them on TV.

And then I couldn’t even sleep a wink.

But now that you’ve clicked that big black “X” in the corner because I’m thoroughly ridiculous, pathetic and disillusioned, let’s discuss chicken wings that can be made in one skillet and one skillet only. They definitely rank up there on that list of foods that are a boatload of work to eat for a super small result, and I’ll be the first to admit that they are last on my list of snacks – even after multiple adult beverages are consumed – for the mess factor and the tiny yield.

BUT.

These… these…

In my world, anything thai flavored is fantabulously fantastic and to say we went to town on these wings would be a crazy understatement. And then after that, someone I know dipped about a thousand pretzels in the remaining skillet sauce. Why couldn’t Grey’s be that awesome?

Sticky Thai Chicken Wings

[the one skillet idea came from food and wine]

serves 2-4

2.5 pounds chicken wings

2-3 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1/2 cup sweet chili sauce

1/4 cup rice vinegar

1/4 cup lite canned coconut milk

3 tablespoons brown sugar

3 garlic cloves, pressed or finely minced

1 tablespoon creamy peanut butter

1 teaspoon-sized knob of ginger, grated

1 lime, juiced

1/2 tablespoon soy sauce

1/4 cup chopped peanuts

1/2 cup fresh cilantro

4 green onions, sliced

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Pat chicken wings completely dry then season with salt and pepper. Combine chili sauce, vinegar, coconut milk, sugar, garlic, ginger, peanut butter, soy sauce and lime juice, mixing with a fork.

Heat a large oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat and add olive oil. Add chicken wings and sear, about 2-3 minutes per side. Remove wings and set on a plate, then reduce heat to medium-low. Add chili sauce mixture and bring to boil. Let simmer for 1-2 minutes, whisking constantly.

Add wings back into the sauce, tossing to coat. Place skillet in the oven and bake for 25-30 minutes. Remove and spoon the sauce over top of the wings, then garnish with peanuts, cilantro and onions.

If you made it this far, you’re an angel.

If someone would have told me ten years ago that I would spend the majority of my time in a kitchen stirring peanut butter and butter together over a hot stove, I think I would have punched them in the face.

Mostly just out of disbelief.

Partly because I want to punch someone in the face just to see what happens. Not because I want to harm someone’s pretty face, but because… I want to like… see what it feels like. I think it’d really hurt my hand.

But this is totally how I found myself earlier this week.. standing over a hot stove stirring waaaaay too much peanut butter in a very large pot. A  gigantic part of me just wanted to sit on the seat of a pretty bay window (which I don’t have) and spoon this directly down my throat while staring out at the deep blue yonder.

I don’t know what that means but it’s what I wanted to do.

It was nearly impossible to resist.

So this normally isn’t my type of recipe – if I’m going to melt anything in a large pot with marshmallows it’s only going to be brown butter and crisped rice cereal – but the minute it popped into my inbox from a reader (thanks Jenn!), I could not stop thinking about it. So simple! So easy! So few ingredients! I tend to be more of a chocolate-in-your-face dessert person, but these were calling my name. Loudly.

Jenn told me how she was in charge of making desserts last year in the cafe where she worked and how quickly these were gobbled up. What Jenn also should have told me was that these make the ideal comfort food when you want to eat your emotions over the end of Desperate Housewives, a show you haven’t watched since 2005 but are still somewhat affected by, nonetheless.

Now here’s the thing: you really have to be a peanut butter freak. I mean, we’re talking SERIOUS freakery here. I almost swapped out the butterscotch chips for chocolate, but I didn’t even go there. Oh no I didn’t.

Holy mother of peanut butter.

Can a peanut butter dessert be rich? Because these are super, super rich and that’s the only way I can describe it. And super, super peanut buttery. Shocking, I know. But they are light too. Have I thoroughly confused your brain?

You certainly have to loooooove peanut butter in order to celebrate the deliciousness of these bars. That dude I live with isn’t a peanut-butter-in-dessert fan (yeah, what?), so after taking a bite he deemed this all mine.

Not a problem. Not a problem at all.

No Bake Peanut Butter Marshmallow Squares

makes one 9×13 pan

2 cups creamy peanut butter

1/2 cup unsalted butter

1 11-ounce bag butterscotch morsels

2 10.5-ounce bags mini marshmallows

Heat a large pot over low heat and add peanut butter, butter and butterscotch chips. Constantly stir until totally melted – this will take about 10 minutes, but eventually everything will melt. Remove from heat and set aside to cool for about 10 more minutes.

Fold in marshmallows until evenly coated and distributed – some may melt, and that’s fine. Spray a 9×13 pan with nonstick spray, then spread mixture in the pan. Let sit at room temperature for a few hours to firm up, or place in the fridge. I loved these refrigerated!

Ugh. So good.

Buttery, melt-in-your-mouth salmon topped with crispy bacon. !!!

I know. This is getting seriously ridiculous. All the bacon, all the time. But but but it just adds the perfect accent to, well… EVERYTHING.

However today, we’re talking about just a weeeeeee little slice on top of so-healthy-and-good-for-you fish. So it’s okay. It’s like, almost invisible.

And I don’t even love mayo, but this chipotle mayo takes these little bite sized sandwiches over the top. Promise. Swear on my boring little life. Swear on my teddy bear. Swear on my Lisa Frank trapper keeper. LYLAS. Swear.

so.much.flava.

They totally weren’t my idea though.

Earlier in the week my dad was raaaaaving about a salmon BLT sandwich he had, talking about how thick the salmon was and blah blah blah and for a non-food obsessed man, his description left my mouth watering. It’s no secret that we adore salmon in this house. It’s on the dinner rotation just about as often as chicken, you’re probably totally sick of seeing a new salmon recipe practically each week and if it was up to me, we’d eat it every single night for the rest of my life.

Well, it technically is up to me but I’d rather save four night’s worth of that money and blow it on ridiculously overpriced shoes. Or truffle salt. Whatever. Depends on my mood. And much to my husband’s dismay, both of those things are definitely an INVESTMENT. Read it and weep buddy.

I sort of think these salmon stacks are an investment too. Like, an investment in a happy mouth? Yeah. I know. That was horrific. Cue faux gagging now.

I knew the flavor combo would work though… since once upon a time I made some weirdo-but-incredible BLT salmon tacos. Wait. Do we just call everything smashed inside tortillas “tacos” these days? I do. I’m sure that thrills the important food people of the world.

The sliders come together quickly – in less than 20 minutes or so – and are such a fun twist on eating boring old salmon. And since we all know that mini things simply mean you can eat more, they are perfectly filling with a side of sweet potato fries. These make you feel like you’re devouring fun weekend food on cruddy school nights. These make you feel like you’re consuming something indulgent but mostly healthy. These make you feel like you should add bacon to your dinner every night. Which, um… obviously… you should*.

Salmon BLT Sliders with Chipotle Mayo

makes about 6-8 sliders

1 pound raw skinless salmon

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

2 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into thirds

2 tomatoes, sliced

lettuce for topping

1/2 cup mayonaisse

1 tablespoon adobo sauce (from a can of chipotles in adobo)

6 multigrain slider buns or dinner rolls, toasted if desired

Heat a saucepan over medium-high heat and add bacon. Cook until crispy and fat is rendered, then remove and let drain on a paper towel.

Preheat the broiler in your oven and place the top oven rack as close as it can go to the broiler. Cut the salmon in to squares pieces that fit the size of your buns, then cover both sides with salt and pepper. Place on a broiler pan (or nonstick baking sheet) and broil for 5 minutes. Gently flip and broil for about 5 minutes more. Note: This depends on the size of your salmon (and power of your broiler) – mine was about 1 inch thick, and this cooked it perfectly. I highly suggest taking the time to figure out how your broiler can perfectly crisp salmon because it makes a world of difference!

In a small bowl, mix mayo with adobo until smooth. Spread some on each bun, top with a square of salmon, a slice of bacon, a tomato sauce and lettuce. Eat!

*almost done. Promise.

1. Okay sooooo…. the dark chocolate bourbon cherry soda float had dark chocolate ice cream, bourbon and cherry soda. Basically, I wanted to swim in it.

2. True story: I could spent the rest of my life sitting in the same spot while someone massages or scratches my back. I wish I could hire a 24/7 masseuse slash back scratcher. My husband hates me. So do his prematurely arthritic hands.

3. My addiction to magazines is out of control. It’s a sickness, really. If you don’t believe, come over and see the 18 magazines sprawled throughout my living room at the moment. If only it was an exaggeration.

4. Neon… can’t stop, won’t stop. I will never quit you. I want my wardrobe to look like Barbie barfed all over it. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

4.5 Except I sort of care what everyone thinks, because I’m a super cliched, stereotypical, first-born girl in her 20s who suffers from major oldest child syndrome and needs constant reassurance. Just not when it comes to neon.

5. Let’s have our weekly Girls discussion! I personally thought the episode – in all of it’s outrageously uncomfortableness and awkwardness – was incredible. Probably my favorite so far. I just can’t help but stare at the TV with my eyes half-covered saying WHAT.

6. Unfortunately, 76% of my current vernacular is consisting only of quotes from Girls. I’m sure you can imagine how everyone that is not a 20-something female in a five mile radius of me feels when I open my mouth.

7. Things in my purse, junk and messiness edition.

That’s one out of about sixty-seven billion receipts that calls my purse home.

8. Um, so you know how I always talk about my obsession with Grape Nuts? Turns out, you can MAKE YOUR OWN. Seriously. What.the.heck.

9. I have developed a fascination with walking. My dad and grandpa have always been big walkers – walking in the morning, taking a stroll at lunch, maybe another after dinner… and now I’m hooked. It’s so relaxing. I just like to go outside each afternoon and walk in the sun and sing old people songs on my iPod while people look at me funny. But I’m pretty sure this will get old once the temps start hitting 90.

10. My weekend consisted of about 25 hours of work, 8 hours of Pinterest, 2 hours of cake baking and phone-dropping in frosting and 1 hour of shoe shopping since I refuse to stop wearing this one pair of wedges that have been falling apart for 3 years. This picture says a thousand words.

I’m just not sure what words.

11. I don’t have the space for a garden but I really want to grow some herbs and maybe tomatoes and possibly some gross green veggies to up my chances of consuming them. Can someone point me in the direction of how I could do this in pots? It’s so overwhelming for me. It’s like doing crafts.

12. Now please talk me into making dinner. Because as of right now a milkshake is looking pretty good.

And it’s only Tuesday.

It’s gonna be a looooong week.

I’m sorry?

I’m totally not though.

Believe it or not I made this cornbread BEFORE the beans. I don’t know. I was just feeling cornbread. I wanted it with bacon, and figured hey…  while I’m at it I’ll add some beer. Then spread some butter on it while it’s still hot. Then die because I don’t know what could be better.

But not, so I could then top it with bourbon beans.

That was really my life’s train of thought.

I tried things out a bit differently this time by baking my cornbread in a loaf pan. I loved it but if that’s not your thing, feel free to bake this in a baking dish for big, fat squares. However… if you do that, be aware that you can’t make other delicious things like, um… cornbread french toast? Or cornbread sandwiches? Or cornbread toast spread with peanut butter and topped with chocolate chips?

Yeeeeah.

Bacon Beer Cornbread

[adapted from my fluffy cornbread recipe]

makes 1 loaf

6 slices thick-cut bacon, chopped

1 1/2 cups finely ground cornmeal

1 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour

2 tablespoons sugar

1 1/2 tablespoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

3 large eggs

1 cup of your favorite beer

1/2 cup milk

1/3 cup sour cream

1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Spray a loaf pan (mine is 10x5x3) with non-stick spray. Heat a skillet oven medium heat and add chopped bacon. Stir and cook until crispy and fat is rendered, then remove with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel. Turn off heat but don’t discard bacon fat.

In a large bowl, mix together cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. In a small bowl, whisk together milk and eggs. Add milk and eggs to dry ingredients, mixing until combined, then add in sour cream and beer. Mix and add in butter and leftover bacon fat, mixing until batter is somewhat smooth but just combined. Fold in bacon. Pour batter in loaf pan, then place pan on a baking sheet and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until top is golden. Let cool for 20-30 minutes, then remove from the pan and slice.

Tomorrow I’ll try not to clog your arteries. Maybe.

Things I did this weekend?

-watched some sort of disgusting insect build a nest/cocoon/filfthy mansion underneath my husband’s garage door and had a complete meltdown about it. I looooooathe bugs.

-dropped my iPhone in a vat of buttercream. Not as sweet as it sounds.

-drank a dark chocolate bourbon cherry soda float. I was forced, I tell you. FORCED.

-watched The Notebook and pretended it was real life. Like… my real life.

-met Mario Batali and watched him cook some sauseeeeeege.

-bought a million (more) pieces of neon clothing because I live for the 90s. Even though I have no style, this is one trend that I’ll never let go.

-reminisced about how I used to hairspray the front of my hair into this crazy wave thing while wearing hideous 4-inch raised platform flip flops. WHAT. I hope those stay out of style forever.

-and made baked beans from scratch!

I can’t even believe it. Up until like… a year ago maybe? I didn’t even like baked beans. I had a huge mental block against them. No clue why. But then I ate some good ones, and was hooked for life. I ate them everyday with eggs for about six months straight. I put them inside of sandwiches and ate them on top of potatoes. So the first time I made these, I threw a bunch of random ingredients in the pot and said a little prayer. The next time, I made a few tweaks (…more bourbon) and said another.

And I’ve totally decided that beans are one of my favorite foods. I am absolutely horrific at picking favorites of anything – and I do mean anything – I can’t pick a favorite song, TV show or movie to save my life. Except for right now when I tell you The Notebook is the greatest movie in all the land.

So beans it is. Any and all beans. I eat them every single day, sometimes twice a day. This is a monumental moment in my world, because I’m pretty sure the last time I declared a favorite food was at age twelve when I simply would say “potatoes.” And that’s only because I ate my mom’s potato chip potato casserole like it was going out of style (which it totally was, but don’t worry she still makes it), mashed potatoes, and “baked” potatoes – which in my world was the flesh of a baked potato scoop out on to my plate, covered in salt, pepper and butter then mashed with a fork. Anytime I was given a baked potato in a restaurant the proper way, like wrapped in foil or simply baked and sliced down the middle, I was like…. um, no. This is not a baked potato.

But anyway… bacon, avocados and chocolate would round out the list. Those are the top four, until I change my mind tomorrow.

And now I can easily say I won’t ever grab baked beans in a can again. So much flavor here, so much texture, so much bacon and so much booze. With just a hint of bourbon, these beans are definitely our new go-to recipe. They can be made in advance and with just an hour of prep work you can throw everything in the crockpot and leave them to their own devices.

Summer here we come!

Crockpot Bacon Bourbon Baked Beans

serves at least 6-8

1 pound dry navy beans

10 slices thick-cut bacon, cut into pieces

1 medium sweet onion, chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

2 cups water

3/4 cup of your favorite barbecue sauce

1 cup loosely packed brown sugar

1/4 cup ketchup

2 tablespoons molasses

1 cup bourbon

1 1/2 tablespoons ground mustard

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce

The night before, add beans to a large pot and cover with water. Drain the next morning.

Bring beans to a boil in a large pot of water, let simmer for 30-40 minutes, then drain. While beans are cooking, heat a large skillet over medium heat and add bacon. Cook until crispy and fat is rendered, then remove bacon with a slotted spoon and let drain on a paper towel. Reduce heat to medium-low and add onion, cooking for 8-10 minutes, until caramely and soft. Add in garlic, cook for 30 seconds, then turn off heat.

Add water, bourbon, brown sugar, bbq sauce, ketchup, ground mustard, vinegar, molasses and worcestershire sauce to the crockpot and whisk well to combine. Add in beans, onions (and all of the bacon fat) and bacon to the crockpot. Cover and cook on low for 10-12 hours, stirring occasionally. After 10-12 hours, turn crockpot to “warm” setting or turn off completely and let sit anywhere from 30 minutes-2 hours, which will help the sauce for the beans thicken even more. These taste even better the next day!

Note: after 10-12 hours the liquid may still seem “liquidy.” It is imperative to let the beans sit for a while on the lower setting (or on the off setting, still covered) so they become thick and syrupy like traditional baked beans.

And later I’ll tell you about this bread. Because I love your guts.

No more roasted strawberries.

No more brown butter.

I’m not roasting any more strawberries or browning any more butter until I roast more strawberries and brown more butter.

Which could possibly be today, buuuut… oh well.

It’s Friday. Time to drink wine. Pretend it’s summer. Buy shoes online. Fall asleep at 9PM because you’re a not-so-secretly 79-year old 29-year old. Dream of that clear phone DJ Tanner had that you were never allowed to have. Plan breakfast for Saturday since it’s the highlight of your life. Stuff like that.

Or plan for Sunday since it’s a super special day.

Perfect for moms. Perfect for you. Perfect for all faces!

Roasted Strawberry Brown Butter Pancakes

serves 3-4

1 1/2 cups sliced strawberries

1/2 teaspoon olive oil

1/4 cup unsalted butter

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup whole wheat pastry flour

1 tablespoon granulated sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 egg, lightly beaten

1-1 1/4 cups milk (I prefer vanilla almond milk)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Toss sliced strawberries with olive oil and a pinch of salt, then lay on a nonstick baking sheet. Roast for 20-25 minutes, or until juicy and caramely. While strawberries are roasting, heat butter in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Whisk constantly until brown bits form on the bottom, about 5-6 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. In a small bowl, whisk together 1 cup milk, egg and vanilla extract. Add wet ingredients to dry, mixing until just combined, then stir in brown butter (get all the brown bits from the pan!) and 1/4 of the roasted strawberries. If batter isn’t smooth or is too thick, add additional milk. (The strawberries will add liquid to the batter so you may need to add a little more milk if needed, based on your strawberries.)

Heat a griddle or skillet over medium heat. Add a bit of butter to the griddle and using a 1/4 cup measure, spoon batter into pan. Cook until bubbles form on top, then flip and cook for 1-2 minutes more. Top with remaining roasted strawberries and syrup.

Also perfect for dinner. I know this.

Or in my case, pizza night(S).

Because the guy in my life likes to keep things PLAIN and, well… plain, pizza night can’t be like, “fun” pizza night. There can be no fontina portobello pizza or apple bacon pizza or stuffed crust pizza or thai chicken pizza. There can be no crazy cheeses or non-meat toppings and certainly nothing sacrilegious like fruit or balsamic glaze. We can have the traditional mozzarella, with way too much sauce, an obnoxious amount of pepperoni, and maybe if we’re lucky, provolone and roasted red peppers. Oh, and these days it can only be made on a garlic bread crust. Because it is so necessary to drench your carbs in additional butter once a week.

I don’t really blame him though. As much as I love crazy-face pizza flavors, true pizza to me will always consist of piles of stringy melty, gooey cheese, sauce and crunchy crust. I’ve never been wild about pepperoni but I don’t throw a tantrum and will simply pick it off if I’m not feeling it. But sometimes I eat it. Most times I’m indecisive. All the time I’m a rather huge pain in the ass to live with. I even feel that way about myself.

The thing is? I want that traditional version of pizza once a week too. Well, frankly, I could probably eat it thrice a week. Whatever. But traditional? It’s comfort. It’s home. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Quite literally too.

So… now we just have to have pizza nightS. With a big, fat S. Because what I love almost as much as that traditional meal is creating fantastic, sometimes weird and delectable pizzas with an array of flavors. It’s like there are endless options to experiment with and for an impatient, always bored and scattered food obsessed freak, that is music to my ears.

This pizza could be eaten for breakfast, but since I’m elbow deep in a serious egg obsession, which I like to refer to as my eggsession, I made it for lunch. Seriously, it’s taking all my willpower to not consume like six poached eggs a day. [Gah. So good!] I love the versatility of eggs and how they instantly add great flavor and texture to different foods. I’m on my way out with asparagus, but roasted to perfection with cheese on bread is somewhat doable at this moment in my life. And crispy bacon? Well, that’s self explanatory. Duh.

Bacon, Egg + Asparagus Personal Pizzas

makes 4 small pizzas

1 batch garlic bread pizza dough (I didn’t add the garlic or spices, but you can if you want!)

4 slices thick-cut bacon, chopped

1/2 red onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup freshly grated mozzarella cheese

1/2 cup freshly grated fontina cheese

1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

4 large eggs

8 asparagus spears, stems removed and chopped into pieces

Make dough as directed, then separate it into four equal balls. Roll or press each ball into a small circle, pressing down slightly more in the center to create a little “dent” – this is where the egg will go and it will help keep it from rolling off the dough. Place dough on a nonstick baking sheet.

While the dough is rising, heat a small skillet over medium heat and add bacon. Cook until just somewhat crispy and fat is rendered, then remove bacon with a slotted spoon and let drain on a paper towel. Reduce heat to low and add onion, cooking until soft, about 5 minutes. Add in garlic and cook for another 30 seconds, then remove from heat.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Mix cheeses together in a bowl.

Brush each pizza with olive oil, then cover with a sprinkling of cheese. Add a few spoonfuls of the onion + garlic, bacon, then place a few pieces of asparagus on each pizza. I placed mine in somewhat of a box around the center to help hold in the egg. Crack the egg and gently place it in the center. Some of the white will roll down the sides and that is completely fine! Top with a bit more cheese and some fresh black pepper.

Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until egg is cooked to your liking and cheese is golden.

Weird but good: dip this in BBQ sauce.

There are also strawberries and pineapple(s?) and brown sugar TEQUILA syrup and heaven. And brown sugar tequila syrup.

Oh and I wear bright socks while I… live my life

It makes things 131% better.

Did I tell you there was brown sugar tequi… okay.

This is another recipe from that dessert contest I judged a few weeks ago. As soon as we finished that evening I asked (begged?) the girl (angel?) – Erin – who submitted the recipe if I could puhhhhleeease share it with all of my invisible internet friends because it was incredibly creative and just… wow. Something I would have never came up with myself, something I would have been totally afraid to try unless I was forced, and something that completely blew my brain to pieces.

This.is.gold. Crazy, wild gold.

And the best part? This whole shebang is sort of… light. I know that sounds ten shades of crazy but it is not super rich or heavy. Obviously it was meant as a dessert the night I first ate it, but I also think it could work perfectly as an appetizer.

And here’s the kicker: Erin clearly had to prepare this entire thing for 30 people – the fritters, the fruit, the whipped cream and the syrup – at her HOME, waaaaay before the contest began, and it was still fabulous. So while this is something that I would normally shy away from when trying to serve a crowd (too much going on, too hard to fry on time, too little patience in my brain), I easily think it could work for a starter, snack or treat after dinner. Or as a meal that you cook for yourself on a Sunday afternoon at like 2 o’clock, just because it’s so freaking awesome.

But I don’t know anyone who’d do that.

Anyhoo – while the combination of all four parts totally makes the dish, just trying the fritters, or the whipped cream on something crazy, or the syrup poured directly into your mouth is a wise idea. Thank you Erin for your insanely clever mind! Now please start a blog so you can infuse other delicious foods with booze and feed them to me.

Jalapeno Whipped Cream

1 cup heavy cream

2 jalapenos (1 seeded, 1 not), cut in half

1 tablespoon powdered sugar

The night before, add heavy cream and jalapenos to a bowl, muddle with a muddler or something like a fork, and let soak until you’re ready to serve. Before serving the fritters, strain cream through a fine mesh strainer to remove any seeds and add it to the bowl of your electric mixer. Beat cream on medium-high speed until peaks form, then add in sugar and beat until thicken. Keep cold in the fridge until ready to serve.

Brown Sugar Tequila Syrup

3/4 cup loosely packed brown sugar

1/2 cup tequila

1/4 cup water

Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Let boil for 1-2 minutes, then reduce to a simmer and stir until somewhat syrupy, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and let sit at room temperature – syrup will thicken more here.

Sweet Corn Fritters with Chopped Strawberries + Pineapples

serves 2-4

2/3 cup chopped strawberries

2/3 cup chopped pineapple

1 1/4 cups sweet yellow corn

2/3 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

5-7 ounces canned coconut milk

oil for frying

Combine strawberries and pineapple in a bowl and let sit at room temperature until ready to serve. Add flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and 1/2 cup corn to a food processor. Pulse until somewhat blended, then transfer mixture to a mixing bowl. Stir in remaining corn and coconut milk, mixing until a batter forms. You want it to be similar to pancake batter, so if a bit more coconut milk is needed, add it!

Add oil to a medium-sized saucepan until it is 3-4 inches deep. Heat the oil to 350 degrees F, then spoon 2-3 fritters worth of batter (I used an ice cream scoop) into the oil. Fry for 1-2 minutes, then lightly flip with fry a few more minutes until golden brown. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel, then repeat with remaining batter. Serve with whipped cream, strawberries and pineapple, and a drizzle of tequila syrup.

P.S. brown.sugar.tequila.syrup. What?